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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25493239">A Midsummer Chaos</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdeMllr/pseuds/AdeMllr'>AdeMllr</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adventure, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Alternative Universe - No Volleyball, Attempt at Humor, Characters in their 20s, Denial of feelings because it is Osamu, Enjoy!, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Implied Sexual Content, Lots of pining because it is Atsumu, Love Triangles, M/M, Master/Servant, Mistaken Identity, Miya Twins centric, Murder Mystery, Mutual Pining, Non-Graphic Violence, One sided Kageyama Tobio/ Miya Atsumu - Freeform, One-Sided Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Osamu POV, Other Haikyuu characters will appeared as supporting characters or be mentioned, Pining, Romance, Secret Identity, Secret Relationship, Sexual Tension, Twelfth Night AU, Upstairs-Downstairs Drama, alternative universe, atsumu pov, semi-strangers to lovers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:28:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>195,680</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25493239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdeMllr/pseuds/AdeMllr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Escaping from their traitorous uncle who wanted them dead, twins Atsumu and Osamu got separated by a storm out at sea. Believing the other to be dead, Atsumu and Osamu sought to find the best of their circumstances. </p><p>Atsumu became a servant for the noble Hinata family and find himself falling in love with the eldest son who, unfortunately, is in love with his next door neighbor.  </p><p>Osamu became a stable boy for a prestigious university and fell into a relationship with a young lord whose mother was determined to split them up no matter what.</p><p>However, deceptions and lies are never forever and the past always catch up to the present.</p><p>A Haikyuu!! Twelfth Night AU</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou &amp; Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou &amp; Miya Atsumu, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Kageyama Tobio &amp; Miya Osamu, Kageyama Tobio/Miya Osamu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>155</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> A Storm at Sea</strong>
</p>
<p>Atsumu could barely breathe as his legs gave away and he dropped onto the sand.</p>
<p>Everything was loud, disorienting, and dark but that was what you expect for a storm out at sea. Atsumu took a deep breath but his lungs felt like they were still underwater. He thought he had expelled all the seawater the minute his feet touched the sand. His head was pounding as the world illuminated; followed by a deep rumble in the sky. His heart leaped in fear and Atsumu knew he was alive for only a living person could fear being alive.</p>
<p>Something touched his shoulder and he flinched. However, it was only Kita and Atsumu relaxed. His tutor was pale and drenched but alive - the man's chest was heaving as if he had swam ashore like Atsumu. Thank the Goddess and all her angels, Kita was alive. And if Kita was here than -</p>
<p>"Samu - Where's Osamu?" Atsumu looked around for his twin. But all he saw was Kita and an empty beach. In the distance, inland, were trees and what seem to be a dirt road. But no Osamu. Atsumu suddenly felt very alone and panic started to bubble in his stomach as a memory came to him. A memory with a horrible implication that Atsumu pushed to the very depth of his psyche. He got up with Kita's help.</p>
<p>"Atsumu," Kita said.</p>
<p>"He've to be somewhere 'ere," Atsumu decided. He could feel Kita's stare and he refused to look at him. He was afraid of what he might see.</p>
<p>"Atsu-"</p>
<p>"He must've wash ashore further down," Atsumu said in a determined tone. He set off down the beach without looking at Kita. "He's here."</p>
<p>Atsumu waited for Kita to disagreed, to argue. Instead, he heard a sign. Sneaking a peek, he saw Kita walking beside him; his face was as stoic as ever but at least he wasn't arguing.</p>
<p>And so they walk and walk and <em>walk</em>. Their feet left deep prints on the wet sand as dark clouds hang overhead and despite Kita continuous disapproving glances, Atsumu pushed on. He refused to stop until they had walked almost the entirety of the beach and came upon debris from the ship but no bodies - at least not a living one.</p>
<p>The body of the first mate lay over the rocks and Atsumu immediately threw up nearby. Kita set the body upright with the patience and practice of one who had been around dead bodies. Of course, his tutor had been a soldier, he knew the circumstances of unexpected deaths. But the body of the first mate only meant one thing to Atsumu, the one thing he had refuse to acknowledge. Yet, he had walked the beach and found no one; so he must acknowledge it.</p>
<p>"No," Atsumu breathed out.</p>
<p>Kita looked at him, his eyes steady but there was sadness in them. Atsumu looked toward the sea - its waves crashing into the sand bed - over the distance where he assumed the ship had been.</p>
<p>"No, Osamu ... OSAMU!"</p>
<p>Atsumu was running and his feet troubled the waves sending ice onto his vein. Something solid hit his back and Atsumu found his movement restricted - pulling him back ashore.</p>
<p>"No, let go. Let go! OSAMU! OSAMU!"</p>
<p>"Don't, Atsumu. Don't." Kita's voice was by his ears but all Atsumu could see was the incoming wave and Osamu's face - eyes wide, mouth open with fear as he hold on to the raft, his hands around Atsumu's waist.</p>
<p>"LET ME GO, I'VE TO SAVE HIM!"</p>
<p>"How? By drowning yerself?" Kita demanded as he pulled but Atsumu was taller so it was a futile effort on Kita's part.</p>
<p>"It's my fault!" Atsumu shouted over a loud thunder.</p>
<p>"Ya don't know-"</p>
<p>"I do," Atsumu's voice broke but he kept on talking. He needed Kita to understand, to hate him, to blame him just as much as Atsumu was hating and blaming himself. "We're holdin' onto a raft a-and I let go. I almost drowned but he grab me and hold me to the raft. It was dark and the waves were crashin' 'round us and... and next thin' I knew, he's gone. I could've save him but I didn't notice til it was too late. And now, h-he he's ..."</p>
<p><em>Gone</em>.</p>
<p>His brother was gone. No, he couldn't be.</p>
<p>Atsumu started struggling even more. He needed to go back, back to the sea - maybe Osamu was still there, maybe Atsumu still had a chance to save him.</p>
<p>"Osamu won't want ya to drown," Kita shouted over the thunder.</p>
<p>"Osamu's gone cause of me!" Atsumu shouted back as he shoved his elbow into Kita's stomach. The man only tighten his arms.</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>Atsumu flinched at the confirmation. So surprised was he that he dropped onto the ground, all the strength gone as words echoed in his head. <em>Osamu's gone cause of me</em>. But then his shoulders were forcefully grabbed and Atsumu found himself starting into Kita's eyes- serious, unrelenting eyes.</p>
<p>"Osamu's missing," Kita said, "and ya cannot change it. But yer still alive," -Kita took Atsumu's hand with a gentleness and firmness that Atsumu felt he did not deserve- "and ya must think things through so that yer safe. For both of ya sake, ya need to live."</p>
<p>Live? Kita wanted him to live, knowing what he knew? That Osamu was gone saving him - How could he live with that?</p>
<p>"How can I live with that?" Atsumu asked. "We're always together. It's always me and him - a life without him... It's impossible."</p>
<p>"For now," Kita returned. "But that never stop ya, had it?"</p>
<p>Kita had been his and Osamu's tutor for the past two years and never once had he said anything that was untrue or illogical. Atsumu had great respect for Kita's words even if they cut his soul like a knife to butter. But now, Atsumu did not want to hear his logic. He did not want things to make sense because nothing should make sense without Osamu beside him.</p>
<p>There was a sudden cry in the air and Kita looked around. In the distance, by the trees, Atsumu could made out something moving. At first he thought it might had been a plant or a flying tree branch but as the object came closer, he realized it was a person. Two people, in fact, running toward Atsumu and Kita.</p>
<p>"Listen to me." Kita tagged Atsumu's hand so that Atsumu was looking at him. Kita had always been a serious man and Atsumu could count with one hand the number of time he had seen the man laugh. But now, his eyebrows were low over his eyes, a small frown filled his face - it was the harshest expression on Kita's face he had ever seen and there was sense of urgency in his voice as he said, "If words got out that ya survive, ya uncle'll learn of it and -"</p>
<p>"And he'll find me." Atsumu finished. His uncle - the very reason why Atsumu and Osamu were on that ship to begin with. They were running away so that they could live somewhere safe and alive, away from that thieving, lying cow. Only it hadn't work out, had it?</p>
<p>"Ya need a new name. With the storm, we may be able to obtain new identifications - a new identity" Kita said. "So ya understand, don't ya? From this day forward, Atsumu Miya no longer exist."</p>
<p>***** ***** *****</p>
<p>The two men were a noble lord and his servant. The lord was on his way home from a visit to a neighboring town and was traveling by carriage when he saw Atsumu and Kita on the sand. Quickly assuming that they were survivors of a shipwreck due to the storm and the amount of debris on the beach, he had his driver and servants find shelter and had warm clothes ready as he went out to help them. Atsumu and Kita were quickly taken to a small hut by the road that fisherman would used to store their supplies. The carriage driver, who introduced himself as Ryuu Tanaka, had build a small fire. Its dancing flame warmed Atsumu's skin and bones but it did nothing for his cold heart which remained out at sea with the sinking ship.</p>
<p>Kita started talking with Tanaka who told them that they were several miles from Orion, the destination of the young lord's travel. To Kita this meant that they were thousands of miles away from Astoria, almost on the other side of the continent which was good because they were far enough that no one would recognized Atsumu and reported back to his uncle. To Atsumu, it meant nothing. It was simply background noises mixed with the dying wind.</p>
<p>Atsumu rubbed his hands but they felt numb or maybe it was Atsumu who was numb, no longer connected to his body. Would he ever be connected again?</p>
<p>Someone placed a shawl over his shoulder and Atsumu slowly wrapped it around himself. It was the lord. Even from the distance on the beach, the young lord had caught Atsumu's eyes because of his hair: bright red that shone like a torch even under the darkening sky or perhaps it was because of the darkening sky, he shone so bright. And now with the fire, the lord's hair glowed as if a halo hang over him. His eyes were honing in on Atsumu and if Atsumu was capable of feeling, he would had felt embarrassed over his appearance, especially his hair which no doubt was disheveled and wet. Atsumu and Kita had changed out of their wet clothes to the ones provided by the young lord's servants ; Atsumu's clothes were a bit tighter and less extravagant compare to the young lord's.</p>
<p>If Osamu was there, he would had shook his head and commented on Atsumu being over dramatic. How Atsumu wished he could hear it - insult or not.</p>
<p>"Hello, are the clothes to your liking?" the lord asked. His formal way of speech was strange to hear after days spend among the common folks and sailors. But Atsumu was more interested in his tone: gentle as if Atsumu was a scared animal the young lord had found in a storm and was intending to take home.</p>
<p>Atsumu nodded, he found the act of opening his mouth a difficult venture.</p>
<p>The lord gave small smile. "Your friend had told us what happened. I am glad that we were able to find you before the cold set in."</p>
<p>The ocean was cold - when Atsumu had fallen in, the cold was a shock to his system and had temporarily froze his heart, mind, and limbs. Then, Osamu was holding him and Atsumu had felt warm again.</p>
<p>"My name is Shouyou Hinata," the lord continued. His soft smile kind like the soothing flames on a cold winter day or a dying storm, in this case. "What's your?"</p>
<p>To Atsumu's horror, something lumped on his throat and the back of his eyes stung. Everything that had happened finally caught up to him.</p>
<p>He was <em>alive</em> and Osamu was <em>dead</em>.</p>
<p>How strange to think as if one had awoken one day to find their shadow gone, their reflection missing. The space next to him was too empty. It required a body - a body that was never coming back.</p>
<p>Something hot fell on his cheek and onto his pants, his shoulders started to shake uncontrollably and a cry was bursting in his lung. He bit his lips to stop it from overflowing. A soft pressure on his tightening fists.</p>
<p>"Cry. What happen was horrible so you should cry. Let it out," the lord said, his voice was tender, light, and strong; it was what broke the dam that was Atsumu's grief.</p>
<p>The world was dark and rumbling; it was the end of Atsumu's world. <em>His brother was dead</em>.</p>
<p>And so Atsumu cried in front of the stranger with red hair and a kind smile.</p>
<p>***** ***** *****</p>
<p>Atsumu did not feel better after the long, loud cry. What he got was a headache and the sense of exhaustion that was so bone deep that he passed out not long afterward. He awaken to a dully lit room and quiet. The storm had ended; it made Atsumu want to throw something.</p>
<p>Kita came to him almost as soon as Atsumu opened his eyes. Trust Kita to be on top of things. It was not long before Atsumu was holding a freshly brewed tea and snuggled under a warm shawl that clearly did not originated from the fisherman hut. Kita had explained that after Atsumu passed out, the lord had ordered his servants to get food and supplies from a nearby town. They were to stay in the hut until Atsumu and Kita were fit enough to travel to Orion with him. The lord had also given his word to Kita that he would help them acquire whatever they need, be it new identifications, a place to stay, or an understanding of the area.</p>
<p>Tanaka had talked with the nearby towns to see if there were any more survivors. Atsumu's heart had leaped with hope only to be crashed when he learned that there were no reports of the ship survivors. It seems that everyone agreed Atsumu and Kita were the only ones to escape the storm intact and alive.</p>
<p>Kita did not asked how he was feeling and Atsumu was grateful for it. He did not feel like lying or talking. A large part of him wanted to crawl back onto the bed and stay there.</p>
<p>The door suddenly open and the lord, Shouyou Hinata, entered. He was talking with one of his servants who was holding a wrapped package. Behind them, Atsumu could made out a light gray sky, which felt like it was mocking him.</p>
<p>"Oh, you are awake," Lord Shouyou Hinata smiled. He started moving toward Atsumu, his red hair so vibrant against the dull walls of the hut.</p>
<p>"My name," Atsumu started causing Lord Shouyou Hinata to stop short. His throat itched either from the seawater or from his cry but Atsumu was not deterred, he wanted to get this over with. "Ya asked for my name ... before."</p>
<p>"Yes..." Lord Shouyou Hinata said. He tipped his head to the side, his eyes bright with curiosity. Over Lord Shouyou Hinata's shoulder, Atsumu saw Kita accepting a steaming cup from the servant. So Kita had not given their rescuer a name for Atsumu. He had left it for Atsumu to decide, to choose because this was the start of something. The life he had, the life with Osamu and those youthful days spend in Astoria were gone, drowned with the storm. What lies ahead, Atsumu had to face alone for the first time since he was born. He gripped the shawl.</p>
<p>
  <em>Atsumu Miya no longer exist. </em>
</p>
<p>How strange, it was not only Osamu who had died but Atsumu as well.</p>
<p>"Cesario," Atsumu whispered. It was the name of Osamu's favorite character from their favorite tale of a knight and a scholar. Atsumu had always prefer Sir Sebastian, the strong knight who won every adversary he met. Cesario was too scholarly and too quiet for his taste; he was Sebastian's traveling companion and was always trying to stop the Knight from having fun in battles.</p>
<p>
  <em>"He's the most important guy," Osamu had insisted. "He protects the Knight from doin' stupid things. He's the reason Sir Sebastian's alive." </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You're the reason I'm alive. </em>
</p>
<p>"My name is Cesario."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Notes:<br/>This story is loosely based on the Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare. The premise of the Twelfth Night is that the protagonist, Viola, survived a shipwreck at the start of the play. Believing that her twin brother, Sebastian, died in the storm, she disguised herself as a man named Cesario and work as a page for Duke Orsino. She fell in love with the Duke but he was in love with a noble lady, Olivia, who refused any suitors. However, Olivia fell in love with the disguised-Viola not realizing she was a woman. Hilarity and mistaken identity ensure when Sebastian was proven to be alive.</p>
<p>My story have elements of the Twelfth Night but it will not follow the play plot by plot, character by character. Some of the relationships are change. For example, Sir Toby Belch is Olivia's uncle. In this story, Oikawa is a relative of Kageyama instead. At one point, this story plot will deviate from the play especially when Osamu's part come up since Sebastian don't do much in the play.</p>
<p>For those curious on which Haikyuu character is who in Twelfth Night:<br/>Viola/Cesario - Atsumu<br/>Sebastian/Roderigo - Osamu ( will have a bigger role in this story)<br/>Orsino - Hinata ( not as dramatic, that's Atsumu's job)<br/>Olivia - Kageyama<br/>Sea captain/ Feste - Kita (Yes, he is two characters)<br/>Antonio - Suna<br/>Sir Toby Belch - Oikawa<br/>Maria- Kuroo ( in terms of being partner in crime with Oikawa)<br/>Fabian -Bokuto<br/>Malvolio - NONE<br/>Sir Andrew - NONE</p>
<p>There are more characters in this story so there are Haikyuu characters with no counterparts in the play. Also the antagonists in this story are OCs because it is impossible for me to make any Haikyuu character the antagonist.  <br/>The title is from another Shakespearean play, A Midsummer's Night Dream. Although the relationship between Atsumu, Hinata, Kageyama, and Osamu can parallel the two main pairs in the Midsummer, this story do not take any inspiration from the play, just its title.</p>
<p>Also, for this story, I use the Western order for the characters' names. It is strange for me to write them that way but for the purpose of this story, the Western order works best since most of the custom and practices I used for this story are based on Victorian England.</p>
<p>Enjoy!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>PART ONE: Atsumu's Story </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Chapter 1</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Six months later - thirteen days before the Summer Festival -</em>
</p><p>Summer had began in Orion. It can be heard in the sounds of laugher from small children who ran around the neighborhoods - finding every nook and cranny of the town to fill their imagination. It can be seen by the market that open every day at dawn and packed up at noon as its sellers went back indoor to escape the heat.</p><p>Summer had arrived to Orion and Atsumu was running late.</p><p>Atsumu dodged an incoming carriage as he ran across the main street. Ignoring the indigent shorts of the driver, Atsumu gave off a loud laugh as he turned left and started up the hill that led to Karasuno House, the family home of the Hinatas. He had been delivering invitations for Shouyou's twenty third birthday celebration. Coincidently, his birthday fell at the start of the Summer festival, a four-days celebration of the summer solstice. The town had started decorating its streets in preparation by hanging banners; polishing every glass and street lamps; and posting signs advertising the festival. Unfortunately, Atsumu did not had the time to enjoy the festive atmosphere.  </p><p>In the last house of his delivery rounds, one of maid had been insistent on chatting up with him.  Usually, he would had walked off but the Lady of the house was nearby and Atsumu did not want to give her one more reason to complain about him to Mistress Hinata or his lord.  He, also, did not want to be on the receiving end of Kita's disapproving stare or Daichi's one hour lecture on the importance of appearance and diligence. Both of those two on the same day were too much for his poor ego.</p><p>And so Atsumu smiled and flirted back, all the while wondering if Shouyou was awake yet or if he was riding again. His lord had been riding a lot lately and Nishinoya, one of the footman, once claimed that Shouyou was love sick. Atsumu thought that it had more to do with Mistress Hinata's failing health but his lord neither confirmed nor dismissed his assumption. Maybe he could suggested fencing practice to his lord, that usually cheered him up. Atsumu had been a bit busy the past week to spend time with him but then Atsumu <em>was</em> only a messenger and kitchen boy. Nothing in his job required him to be with his lord all day, every day. That was a valet's job. Not that it stopped Atsumu from seeking his lord out in his spare time or for his lord to seek him out.</p><p>Atsumu took a leap over a puddle, the only evidence of last night rain, and he came upon the back gate of Karasuno House only to hit his face with something soft.</p><p>"Oof," Atsumu gasped as he fell backward; a sharp sting spread throughout his body from his hip.</p><p>"The statue!" A voiced shouted; Atsumu looked up to see a white object falling toward the ground. Without thinking, Atsumu leaped to his right with his hand outstretched - he caught the object before it shattered on the cobbled-stone walkway.</p><p>"Cesario!" Nishinoya laughed, giving Atsumu a thumbs up. "Nice one!"</p><p>Atsumu grinned; he threw the statue toward Nishinoya who easily caught it. That man had the reflexes of a cat.</p><p>"Stop throwing it around!" Ennoshita, the first footman, thundered. He appeared next to Nishinoya so suddenly that the second footman jumped and almost dropped the statue.</p><p>As much as Atsumu would love to see how this end, he was still late and Daichi would had his hide if he were not back. So he entered the kitchen and walked toward the head butler's office.</p><p>"Listen sir, this isn't my fault!" Atsumu began as he slammed the door open. "Its cause one of them maids won't stop talkin'-"</p><p>"Out," Daichi said, not even looking up from his papers.</p><p>Atsumu frowned in confusion before he realized what Daichi wanted. Rolling his eyes, Atsumu left the room and closed the door. Then, he made an exaggerated show of knocking the door - not too hard and not too soft, just as Daichi had shown him many, many times.</p><p>"Come in," Daichi called out. Atsumu was already opening the door before the last syllable was uttered.</p><p>"That's dumb," Atsumu began.</p><p>"Noted," Daichi said as he got up and put the papers onto a shelf. "All invitations are to their respective houses, I hope."</p><p>"One time! One time I made a mix up and ya never forget it."</p><p>"Hard to forget when the mistress was yelled over it." Daichi gave Atsumu a harsh glare and he had to tramp down the guilt that shot up his spine. "And you did that three times. I counted."</p><p>"Well, I didn't do it now."</p><p>Daichi hummed as if he did not believed him which Atsumu found insulting. It was not his fault that most of the houses in Orion were of the same shape, color, and size. The town was well-known for its narrow streets and multiple dead ends that was not so different from a maze. In fact, the town was known as "Celeste's Puzzle" by outsiders.</p><p>The first time Atsumu had walked its streets on an errand to collect a package from the post office, he got lost among its many twist and turn. In the end, Tanaka the coachman had to go to the post office while Nishinoya had to collect Atsumu. In addition, some of the house used Celestian <em>Toria</em> Alphabet which Atsumu was still learning to read.</p><p>"So, do ya want anything or ya just wanna insult me?" Atsumu asked. If Kita was here, he would had gave Atsumu a reprehending look for talking to his senior in such a tone but Atsumu didn't care. He had been walking in the blasted sun for the past three hours from one end of the town to the next. Usually it would take him two hours to do his rounds but he wanted to make no mistakes with the invitations so he had spend extra minutes chatting with the servants to ensure that the invitations were addressed to the right Lords, Ladies, Sires, Gentleman, Gentlewoman, Gentlefolk. He deserved a cold drink or two for this!</p><p>"There <em>is</em> one thing I want to discuss with you." Daichi said. He indicated to the seat in front of his desk in which Atsumu sat down. A  glass of iced lemonade as placed before him and Atsumu graciously drown it.</p><p>"You know that Sakusa is leaving service to begin his schooling in the fall, correct?" Daichi started. Atsumu gave the affirmation with a short hum. Sakusa was his lord's personal valet, a tall, quiet man who found Atsumu's presence an inconvenience. Atsumu returned the sentiment tenfold and ever since the first servant dinner, Daichi had them sit on the opposite ends of the servant table, away from each other, lest they stabbed one another. The news of Sakusa leaving had been a good day for Atsumu: he had spend the entire afternoon with his lord as they walked around the grounds of Karasuno House in which he discovered that his lord's favorite color was yellow and that he had once dropped a bucket of water onto his would-be-suitor. The young man had been so offended that he left Karasuno immediately and the marriage negotiation was never pick up. His lord had said all this with an air of a man who saw nothing wrong with his action and desired praise for it.</p><p>"In short, Lord Shouyou will be without a valet -"</p><p>"So ya want me to advertise for a new valet in the street?" Atsumu interrupted, frowning at the thought of extra work.</p><p>Daichi raised an unimpressed eyebrow which was enough of a warning for Atsumu to stop talking. The head butler folded his hands in front of him. There was a aura of seriousness around him that was not unlike Kita when he had to deliver the news of Atsumu's failing grade to his father. It was this that had Atsumu straighten his back, prepared for the whatever news that was to befall on him.</p><p>"No. It has already been decided on who will be his lordship's new valet - you," Daichi said in the tone of one announcing the death of a loved one. Atsumu could only blink as the words sank deep into his soul, as he scrutinized every word until only one remained.</p><p>"Me?" Atsumu gasped. He placed both of his hands on his chest to emphasize the point, "Me as my lord's valet?"</p><p>"Yes," Daichi signed. "I will admit, I am just as shocked. Normally the most likely person to take on the role would be Ennoshita or Nishinoya especially since they had been here longer and are footmans. However, he had specifically asked for you and he wanted no one else."</p><p>"He asked for me?" Atsumu could not disguised the breathless quality of his voice nor could he assumed Daichi did not hear the thumping of his heart. He supposed he should feel bad for taking the job that was meant for Nishinoya but the prospect of being in his lord's presence all day outweigh his guilt.</p><p>Daichi shot him an unamused look as if he was aware of Atsumu's thought. Atsumu really couldn't be bother with it. How could he when the greatest news in the entire country, the entire world, was delivered to him. He was no longer to be a kitchen boy -no more scrubbing the sinks, dishes, bins; no more lifting boxes twice his weigh, no more crawling on dirt; no more being looked down by other servants; and no more dirt-ridden clothes. But the best part of all, his lord wanted him! Not Ennoshita, not Nishinoya, but him -Atsumu, the loud, troublesome Atsumu who had kept on delivering the wrong letters to the wrong house three times because he kept on confusing the house numbers. The Atsumu who had once dropped a delicate vase because he was trying to catch a runaway cat in the parlor, a room he was not allowed to be in. Actually the more Atsumu thought of it, the more impractical it seems for him to be his lord's valet.</p><p><em>Why him</em>?</p><p>When Atsumu expressed this question, the head butler could not give a satisfying answer simply because the answer that was satisfactory for Atsumu could only come from Shouyou. The rest of the meeting was spend going over an overview of what Atsumu's life will be for the next few days as Daichi refused to have Atsumu take on the mantle of his new position until he was properly trained as both a footman and a valet. Unfortunately, this meant Atsumu would be spending some time with Sakusa, who would train him, a prospect neither Daichi nor Atsumu was looking forward to.</p><p>As Daichi dug into his cabinet for a uniform, Atsumu looked around the office until his eyes fell onto the glass panel of said cabinet and his heart skipped a beat.  Dark hair, dark eyes, sharp jaws looked back at him and Atsumu was no longer in the sunlit room but back in the darkness of the night with the waves crushing into him again and again and again until all he could do was hold onto the raft - his fingers stiff from the cold and numb from the beating of the rain and wind until he was holding nothing, nothing - he was surrounding by nothing, floating like a feather under the whims of the wind. No one there but that face - dark hair, dark eyes, those sharp jaws wide. How old yet how young his brother looked, no, how <em>he</em> looked.</p><p>"Cesario, are you feeling well?" Daichi's voice felt so far away, down a tunnel but Atsumu followed it. Allowed it to pull him back till the roar of the ocean was but a distant sound in his head. He blinked and his brother was gone- he was staring at his own reflection in the cabinet glass. He quickly turned away to see the head butler looking at him with concerning eyes.</p><p>Daichi was many things: strict, commanding, and honorable but he was also kind and perceptive. The glass of iced lemonade was proof enough and Atsumu knew that if he cried fever, Daichi would had him committed to bed with little question. Now the man looked at Atsumu with a face of a father by his ill child's bedside. It was kind of endearing and embarrassing. Atsumu cleared his throat.</p><p>"Sorry, just excited 'bout the news," he grinned. "Can't wait to tell Feste."</p><p>Daichi looked unsure and asked Atsumu if he wanted to lay down since he had been walking in the sun. But the last thing Atsumu wanted was to lay in bed where his thoughts were not his to control and where the ocean loomed. So he insisted again that he was fine - making sure his volume was twice as loud and his manner twice as causal until Daichi admited defeat.</p><p>"Very well, you better give your best to Saeko or she will have your hide," Daichi smiled. Atsumu gave his words and he ran to his room to hang his new uniform - white linen, dark trousers, black waist coat, a dark tie, and a gentleman jacket- neatly on the door of his dressing cabinet.  He would had loved to stare at it for hours but the apparition in Daichi's room still lingered in his mind and the quietness of his room was suffocating.</p><p>So Atsumu returned to the kitchen where the head cook, Saeko, smacked him a list of chore that consisted of but not limited to scrubbing the floors and sinks; clearing the pipes; carrying supplies from the door to the storage; scrubbing the dining table, fixing the broken gas lamp in the hallway.</p><p>Atsumu welcomed the work for the first hour until his hands started to ache and crack. The only thing stopping Atsumu from complaining aloud was the reminder that he won't be doing this for long. After all, he would be his lord's valet. Just like that, the lingering ocean receded even more further as Atsumu turned the news over his head. His lord chose him, <em>him</em> to be his valet. Atsumu would be the first person he would see in the morning for it was a valet's job to wake his master, to dress his master ... to <em>bathe</em> him. Atsumu heated up at the thought and he plunged his head under the sink water to cool himself.</p><p>By the time lunch time rolled in, Atsumu was partly done with his chores when he was asked to fill in for Narita, who had an upset stomachache from a bad egg at breakfast. However, Atsumu could not dressed in the livery of the footman so he simply carried the food tray to the dining room and held it by the door until Nishinoya or Ennoshita took it from him into the room.  </p><p>Bright light was streaming through the high ceiling windows into the dining room, showering the family warmth. Mistress Hinata sat at the head of the table. The matriarch of the family, she imposed an air of elegance and simplicity that demand loyalty and exceptional performance. Everything about her was calculated, from her tone to her movements. Atsumu knew it was mainly due to her illness, which made too much movement difficult but she hid her pain well, especially in front of her children.</p><p>It had been said that Shouyou and Lady Natsu took more after their father and Atsumu could see it. Mistress Hinata had dark hair that fell to her shoulder while her two children had bright red hair. Her face was paler and sharper but her children had rounder features and brighter eyes.</p><p>Atsumu would not describe Shouyou, who sat on his mother's left, as one of great beauty but there was a certain look in his countenance that was appealing on the eyes and once you looked at Lord Shouyou, you could not look away especially when he projected his glowing smiles or intense eyes at you - eyes that demanded you to follow and listen without question.</p><p>Those same eyes found Atsumu and the kitchen boy gave his lord a smile as a greeting. Shouyou returned the smile with a beaming version of his own and Atsumu momentarily had the feeling of bewilderment that was not different from looking at the sun too long.</p><p><em>He asked for me to be his valet</em>, Atsumu felt his heart melted.</p><p>Then, his lord tilted his head toward his mother and rolled his eyes. Atsumu supposed she was discussing about marriage again. Whether for his lord or lady Natsu, both siblings agreed that it was a ridiculous subject to discuss over lunch ... and breakfast and dinner.</p><p>At the age of twenty two - going to twenty three in two weeks - Shouyou was a perfect candidate for marriage. Not that he had to marry for land or wealth, both of which he had an abundance of. No, he was a perfect candidate <em>for</em> other families to sought after, to fight for his title, his land, or his wealth. Each days, there were invitations to a garden party, a riding party, a hunting party - any gathering that a parent hoped would led to their child capturing his lord's attention. It was a shame that none of them understood that Shouyou's attention was not one you demanded. It was something freely given for Atsumu had never seen a more sociable and cheerful person than Lord Shouyou Hinata.</p><p>However, Shouyou's love was a different matter and it was not up for the taking for it was already given to someone else. Yet, his lord never seem to find it necessary to tell his mother this nor asked the person for their hand in marriage. Atsumu was sure all the talks about marriage would cease if his lord did just that. Perhaps, Shouyou enjoyed the mystery and mystic it gave him for he certainly loved his fair share of attention.</p><p>Atsumu closed his eyes and placed his right hand over his left shoulder while balancing the food tray on his left hand as a show of sympathy to his lord's self-inflicted plight. However, Atsumu underestimate the weight of the food tray and it toppled to the side. He quickly followed the momentum and tried to steady the tray with his right hand. Thankfully, nothing dropped and Atsumu's ears were saved from another scolding from Daichi and Saeko. He gave off a big sigh of relief and looked into the room.</p><p>His lord's shoulders were shaking with barely contained laughter, his eyes were gleaming as they once more caught Atsumu's; the kitchen boy stuck his tongue out in retaliation.</p><p>Lady Natsu noticed her brother's hidden laughter and demanded to know what he found funny. A girl of thirteen, Lady Natsu was the second sun personified of Karasuno. She had recently started her etiquette and social lessons, which had her sitting straighter, less twitchy, and more refined in balance and manner. Not that it stopped her from running and jumping around the back garden like a monkey on her free times. Shouyou easily followed along and both siblings were a pinnacle of contradictions: elegant and contained to society, wild and untamed within the boundaries of Karasuno.</p><p>Beside her sat Mistress Hinata's Lady's companion, Miss Kiyoko Shimizu. Now this was a person of great beauty and she was the subject of great admiration from the Karasuno staff and affection from Nishinoya and Tanaka; both men could not go one day without praising her beauty or her well-being or her manner. From time to time, Miss Shimizu had to remind Lady Natsu that she was speaking too loudly or too quickly. Shouyou quickly picked this up to tease his sister. Not one to give in, Lady Natsu fought back by telling Miss Shimizu and by extension the rest of the servants, embarrassing stories of her brother.</p><p>The carefree chatter and sibling rivalry was interrupted by the arrival of Lord Kageyama, an old widower who lived next door to the Hinatas and who had five dinners with the family every week that he might as well be a honorary member of the family. The servants of Karasuno House certainly treated him as such. Atsumu supposed the old man got bored living alone in his manor all year round. Though in the summer, his loneliness was supressed by the visitation of his grandchildren, Lady Miwa andLord Tobio. Both of whom Atsumu had only seen in portraits and heard of from the servants and his lord.</p><p>Lady Miwa was married to a trader; not one to sit home and make wife, she followed her husband around the continent in search of spice or goods. Lord Tobio was a bachelor who lived in the capital city where he was studying law. It was also where he lived with his mother, a tyrant of a woman according to his lord, Lady Natsu, and everyone else. But, this year, Lord Tobio had yet to visit which was unusual and the source, according to Nishinoya, of Shouyou's heart ache.</p><p>Whatever the source of Shouyou's heartache was, it defiantly was not due to Lord Kageyama's appearance for his lord had jumped with joy and ran up to hug the old man in greeting - no different from a grandchild to their grandfather. Lady Natsu followed not far after. The old man was sturdy as he took the two on.</p><p>Ennoshita then had Atsumu picked up an extra plate and utensils for Lord Kageyama and after two trips to the kitchen, Atsumu arrived in time to hear the reason for the old man's visit.</p><p>Lord Tobio was to arrive to Kageyama Manor that evening. Blast of joy with various degree of volume and strength was expressed between the three Hinatas.</p><p>"Do you know why he had not come sooner?" Mistress Hinata asked after her children had demanded every detail, however small, from the old man on the circumstances of the visit.</p><p>Lord Kageyama slowly shook his head and gave out a deep chuckle, "Tobio is older now, it's not the nature of young men to visit troublesome old man even if said men are their grandfathers."</p><p>"That is not true," Shouyou exclaimed. "Kageyama love you and he rather bite his tongue then not see you! I think it's his mother's fault!"</p><p>"Shouyou!" Mistress Hinata hissed, "Do not speak ill of someone who is not here to defend themselves."</p><p>"Actually, it was Misa who sent me a telegram for Tobio had already left home," Lord Kageyama clarified.</p><p>"That's because he's excited to see you again," Shouyou laughed. "See, you are like the honey to his bee!"</p><p>Atsumu snorted while Mistress Hinata hissed that it was a horrible - and inappropriate- analogy to use. His lord looked a bit abashed but Lord Kageyama's hearty laughter alleviate any remaining embarrassment. Atsumu heard nothing more as Nishinoya took the last plate and he was tasked with washing the dishes - locking him in the kitchen for the rest of the afternoon.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>The back garden of Karasuno House was modest compare to the extravagant and grandeur of its neighbors but it was, to Atsumu, the most naturalistic and peaceful one ever since Kita took guardianship over it. A large willow tree ruled over western corner of the garden giving a welcoming shade from the sun. At the center was the mermaid fountain which all the hedges led toward. It was there Atsumu found Kita tending to the day-lilies around it.</p><p>His former tutor had been a man of many, many surprises. For one thing, Atsumu recently learned that he knew how to forge signature and handwriting.</p><p>"It's a secret," Kita had said when Atsumu demanded to know how he learned such a skill.</p><p>And for another, his tutor had an affinity with plants that Atsumu swore all the man had to do was talk and all the plants blossomed. In all seriousness, Kita's innovative gardening techniques and impressive plant growth rate had impressed the Hinatas and everyone in town.</p><p>"He is a magician!" His lord had exclaimed one day as he and Atsumu watched Kita tend to a rose bush that according to him had not bloomed since his father passed away two years ago.</p><p>"He's Feste," Atsumu shrugged as he privately thought, <em>he's Kita</em>.</p><p>Feste was the name Kita had chosen for himself. It was an unusually name that bordered on ridiculousness and Atsumu told him so. Kita had simply stared at him until Atsumu felt the need to apologize for the comment. Kita explained the next day that Feste was the name of a court jester who was the only known person to insult the king and live to tell the tale - a figure in history that Atsumu should know if he had pay attention to Kita's lecture on the twelve century court etiquette of Astoria. Atsumu thought it was unfair that Kita expected him to remember every court figure in Astoria history when such knowledge no longer matter.</p><p>"And Cesario and Sebastian were not based on real people?" Kita had asked as if reading Atsumu's thought. That was the last time Atsumu made fun of Kita's lifestyle choices and interests.</p><p>Arriving to the fountain, Atsumu had barely given his greeting when Kita gave his congratulations on his promotion. Apparently, he had heard of the news from Nishinoya who had overheard Daichi talking about it with Sakusa. Atsumu proudly puffed out his chest but Kita was having none of that.</p><p>"This mean ya responsibilities have doubles and are more weighted," Kita commented.</p><p>Atsumu signed loudly and propped down beside his former tutor. Although he felt a bit irritated by the direction Kita was taking his promotion, Atsumu wanted to discuss with him about another matter.</p><p>"I thought 'bout <em>him</em> again," Atsumu whispered. He did not had to clarify who the "him" was. Between him and Kita, there was only one "him."</p><p>Kita paused for a moment before he continue patting down the dirt onto the flowerbed. His face as calm and stoic as ever.</p><p>"That's to be expected," Kita stated. "It's only been six months."</p><p>Atsumu shook his head and lean back against the fountain. The roar of the water thundered in his ears but it did little to drown out the ocean in his head that had returned.</p><p>While on his delivery, Atsumu had seen a pair of twins, two girls wearing identical dresses and ribbons with colors inverse. That was how he and his brother used to wear when they were young before Atsumu threw a tantrum for being mistaken for his twin every five minutes. One of the girls had tripped and landed on her front. Her loud cries had caught Atsumu's attention but before her mother could calm the crying girl, her twin had taken hold of her braid and pulled it. The crying girl immediately stopped and proceed to pull her sister's braid and the two began squabbling on the ground. The girls' mother and a shop owner had to pulled them apart.</p><p>It was like viewing into a looking glass of his childhood; Atsumu had to sit down to calm his beating heart and suppressing the urge to scream at the unfairness of the world.</p><p>"Ya had lived yer life as one of a pair," Kita continued as he lightly rubbed an index finger against a pedal of a day-lily. "That's not an easy thing to let go of."</p><p>"But I thought I was doing so good! I haven't thought of him in weeks!" <em>Lies</em>, he thought of him every night before he closed his eyes and every morning when he wake. It's just that he had gotten good at leaving this ghost by the bed, not to be examined under sunlight.</p><p>"Dunno know what happen," Atsumu continued. Now that he had said what he wanted to say ever since he saw the twins girls, he couldn't seem to stop. "I really scared Daichi.  Got all quiet and distracted just cause I saw my reflection! How dumb is that?" He folded into his knees.</p><p>It never went away, the feeling of incompleteness. When Atsumu made a remark, he still waited for another voice - similar to his but not quite. When he saw something amazing or unique, he turned to his right, ready to share the wonder only to be met with air and silence. He had once started conversing with his shadow until Kita put a stop to it. Atsumu wondered if Kita was becoming tired of having to listen to Atsumu moan and grieve. Atsumu knew he was sick of himself most days.</p><p>Instead of answering Atsumu's question, Kita asked Atsumu to move a bag of fertilizer from the wheelbarrow onto the ground next to him so he could put the fertilizer onto the flower bed. A bit put out by the request but having never learned how to say "no" to Kita, Atsumu did as he was told. His nose wrinkled as the pungent smell hit him; he wondered how plant lived off this stuff.</p><p>"If ya have nothing better to do, ya can help me do the fertilizer - there's gloves in the box," Kita said as he opened the bag. The smell grew and Atsumu lightly gagged. Even so, a few minutes later, Atsumu was on his knees next to Kita, scooping fertilizer onto the flower bed, patting it down, making sure not to disturb the plants and flowers.</p><p>It was a disgusting and demanding work - one that Atsumu never thought he would do eight months ago. But then, eight months ago Atsumu's father was alive and his uncle was nothing but a wasted nobody. Eight months ago, Atsumu was a somebody.</p><p>That was one of the hardest pill for Atsumu to swallow when he began his facade as Cesario: he was a nobody no one found worth listening to, at least to the nobility who were not the Hinatas and the servants who were not from Karasuno House. That was not to say his life in Astoria was a picnic but at least there, there was some people who listened to him and followed his orders. Here, when he walked the halls while there were guests over, he had to hide or faced the wall when the guest walked by because heaven forbid they had to acknowledge his presence. His hands which were usually callous from fencing were now damaged by kitchen work- scarred and bruised from the washing, lifting, digging, and dragging. His feet were sore from the walking; his skin was tanner due to hours spend under the sun; and his dark hair lay flat over his head with sweat. It was all Atsumu could do to make sure he didn't get lice.</p><p>On the second day of working in the kitchen, Atsumu had complained to Kita about the unfair work demand and Kita had asked him how would he find a place to sleep, food to eat when he had no money and no title. That had shut Atsumu up and he refused to talk to Kita until the next day, when he had to ask his former tutor what a "rake" was and how to use it.</p><p>In all honesty, the reason Atsumu made it this far with his sanity intact was because of Kita. Kita, who was the string to Atsumu's kite, the anchor to Atsumu's boat. The first few weeks since the shipwreck, Atsumu was prone to nightmares that had him gasping for breath and sweating a river. During those nights, Kita would take him out to the garden for a walk. The spring nights were a welcoming relief from the suffocating heat of his attic room. His former tutor never asked Atsumu about his nightmare which were always a series of darkness, waves, and a face - fading in and out. For this Atsumu was thankful for it gave him a sense of control on what and when he could tell Kita. Atsumu once admitted that he was worry that he will wake up one day and not remember what his brother looked it. The minute those words left his lips, Atsumu had felt foolish - they look alike, all Atsumu had to do was look in a mirror. But it did not feel right and Kita understood that.</p><p>And so Atsumu spend the rest of the afternoon with Kita, digging, scooping, patting until the repetitive motions soothed the ache in his heart. It did not take it all away - Atsumu don't think it will ever go away but it was not as intense as six months ago or as bothersome as four months ago.</p><p>"I miss him," Atsumu admitted as his hands hovered over a day-lily. How easy it would be to let it dropped, crushing the flower. It was going to wither anyway and Atsumu was simply helping it along to its inevitable demise.</p><p>"I understand," Kita said and he placed a watering can onto Atsumu's hands. "I miss him too."</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>With the arrival of Lord Tobio, Lord Kageyama invited the Hinatas to welcome his grandson home and to dine at his manor. Not that it meant any less work for Atsumu but at least the kitchen wouldn't be so hectic.</p><p>Daichi did not want him to be a part of the welcoming committee. His reason was that Atsumu was not his lord's official valet yet and Sakusa was still there to fulfill that role. It was not, according to Daichi, because he was afraid Atsumu might say or do something insulting or ridiculous in front of the returned young lord.  Atsumu was not one to disobey Daichi's orders so after a minor tantrum in which Atsumu huffed and puffed, he returned to the kitchen to start peeling the potato. However, Daichi never stated that Atsumu was not allow to <em>observe</em> the welcoming, which was why he was currently sitting on a tree branch that overlooked the front garden of the Kageyama manor.</p><p>Atsumu had seen portraits of Lord Tobio and while he could see the appeal, he could hardly claim he found the man interesting. For one thing, in every portrait the man held varies degree of sullenness that made Atsumu wondered if that was the only thing he was capable of expressing. Then, there was a aura of dullness around him that gave an impression of a "good boy," Lord Tobio did not seem to be the type to break a rule or disobey a command. When Atsumu told his lord this, he laughed out loud.</p><p>"Kageyama is a good son but he's not a pushover," Shouyou stated.</p><p>His lord smiled a lot when he talked about Lord Tobio and it never failed to prick Atsumu's heart like a needle to a cushion. It was a smile that he never shared with Atsumu or anyone - the implication of its rarity was clear to Atsumu. But here he was, sitting in a tree because he wanted to see his lord, wanted to see his expression when he met his childhood friend and secret love again - would he gave Lord Tobio the same smile? Would his eyes held the quiet, passionate desire that he tried to hide but leaked out every time he looked at Lord Tobio's portrait or talked about the man's fencing ability?</p><p>Atsumu was pretty sure he could beat the young lord in a fencing duel.</p><p>From his vicinity, Atsumu spotted a tiny dot appearing at the end of Main Street and it was readily moving up the hill. Shouyou broke from the line to get a closer look - or perhaps, to be the first one to greet his friend when a look of shock appeared on his face.</p><p>"Is he riding a horse?" Shouyou exclaimed out loud. Apparently this was a very surprising news for Daichi turned to look at Sakusa with a disbelieving expression while the valet had two raised eyebrows. The same look of wonderment and disbelief was shared between Lord Kageyama, Mistress Hinata, and Sugawara, Lord Kageyama's head butler and valet. Only Lady Natsu seem to find joy in the discovery.</p><p>"He finally found an animal that like him," she exclaimed. Atsumu had to bite his lip to stop the laughter. Lord Tobio was starting to sound like a very interesting fellow.</p><p>"He can come riding with us now!" Lady Natsu continued.</p><p>"Nope, this must be a fluke!" His lord returned, shaking his head. "He must have bribe the horse with some carrots!"</p><p>Finally the gates of Kageyama Manor were darken by the young lord's arrival - his horse neighed as he pulled the reigns to a stop. Then, he was off the horse and was running toward the Manor.</p><p>"Grandfather!" Lord Tobio shouted. His traveling cloak flowing behind him as Bokuto, a footman of Kageyama Manor, tried to calm the horse down.</p><p>"Grandfather, what are you doing out of bed?" The young lord demanded as he grabbed his grandfather's shoulder. The concern in his voice and in his expression was so authentic that Atsumu started scrutinizing the old man to see if he was indeed ill or suffering from an injury.</p><p>"Whatever do you mean, my boy?" Lord Kageyama gasped. The confusion and shock was shared among everyone else.</p><p>"You shouldn't be out of bed when you are so ill!" The young lord was practically shouting into his grandfather's face.</p><p>"What, Lord Kageyama, you are unwell?" His lord exclaimed in shared concern and moved toward the old man with Lady Natsu. Sugawara was by his master's side in a flash. However, Lord Kageyama looked at his grandson in confusion - there was nothing ill in his face or manner. In fact, Atsumu had never seen an old man so young as Lord Kageyama.</p><p>"No, I am quite as well as everyone in this courtyard but Tobio, where did you hear of this lie?" Lord Kageyama asked. He was touching his grandson's shoulders as if to calm him down. It worked to an extent, Lord Tobio's tense shoulder lessen and he slowly pulled away from his grandfather's face.</p><p>"Mother ... she told me that you were ill and had taken to bed. She said the doctor predict it won't be long before ... before you..." The young lord looked even more confused and agitated with each words.</p><p>"Tobio, whatever Misa had said is untrue for I am perfectly well and sturdy as an ox."</p><p>"That's true, he picked me and Natsu up like a sack of rice earlier today, " Shouyou confirmed. Yet despite this, it took some time for Lord Tobio to believe both this grandfather and his friend's words of good health. He stared intently at this grandfather as if searching for symptoms of illness as Atsumu had a minute ago.</p><p>"But then why did mother -" A look of understanding passed through the young lord's face. He turned around and ran toward his horse, which was being led to the stables by Bokuto.</p><p>"Don't bother untying him, I need to return to the capital now," he shouted, roughly grabbing the reins from Bokuto's hands. There was a hint of barely controlled rage in his voice that it was no wonder Bokuto flinched. Shouyou and Lady Natsu started shooting questions toward the young lord but Lord Kageyama's booming voice silenced any confusion and anxiety of the welcoming committee members.</p><p>"What's this, Tobio? Why on earth do you need to return so soon when you've just arrive?"</p><p>"I -I just need to, " the young lord replied stubbornly. He looked so determined that Atsumu was sure he would walked back to the capital if the horse was not an option.</p><p>"Whatever it is, I am sure it can wait until tomorrow morning,"</p><p>"Tomorrow? Grand-"</p><p>But Lord Kageyama placed his palm out which stopped his grandson's rebuttal and continued, " Tobio, the sun is setting and it takes a full two days to reach the capital; it is unsafe to travel in the dark. Not to mention, your poor horse must have exhausted itself running you here. Apart from the inn where you sent the telegram of your arrival this evening, I am sure you had not taken rest at any time from there to here, am I correct?"</p><p>"Yes," Lord Tobio answered with a scowl.</p><p>"Then, let your horse rest as you rest. A tired mind is not fit for a long travel."</p><p>Atsumu never heard the rest of the conversation as his place of observation was disturbed by the arrival of Nishinoya and Tanaka, both of whom were asking, very loudly, as to why Atsumu was in a tree. Their shouts caught Saeko's attention and she stormed out of the kitchen demanding an explanation why there was a bucket of unpeeled potatoes in one of her kitchen sink. Upset at being found out but unable to gave a good enough explanation that would not get him in trouble, Atsumu climbed down. The last thing he saw was Shouyou taking Lord Tobio by the shoulder and steering him into the Kageyama Manor.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 2</strong>
</p><p>- <em>eleven days before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>In the end, Lord Tobio had to stay for an extra day due to a rain storm that started in the early morning after his arrival and continued late into the night. He was a force of suspended rage and impatience as he paced the parlor room of Karasuno House. Every now and then, he would glared out the window as if doing so would stop the rain and allow him to start his journey.</p><p>Not that Lord Kageyama would let him. The old man had insisted that his grandson leave the next morning when there was no rain and enough light. The two of them arrived to Karasuno House for dinner on Mistress Hinata's invitation surrounded by a thunderous cloud that rivaled the weather. There was no question they had been arguing. This was a uncommon sight based by the Karasuno stuff's surprise and exclamation which also increase Daichi's stress to make sure the dinner was perfect.</p><p>Originally the invitation was only meant for Lord Kageyama as it was assumed Lord Tobio would had left that morning but the weather had forced the young lord to follow his grandfather to Karasuno House. This meant extra work for Saeko and the kitchen stuff as they now had to find extra food for the extra person and Atsumu was tasked with killing another chicken out in the rain. Suffice to say, he was not in a good mood nor had any good regard toward the young lord that evening.</p><p>Adding salt to injury, Shouyou had barely sought Atsumu the entire time Lord Tobio was in Orion. His lord had literally walked in a rain storm to be with the young lord and brought him and his grandfather back to Karasuno House for dinner. He had returned in a very tense and nervous disposition; and kept on looking back and forth between grandfather and grandson which only fueled the belief that the two men had been arguing.   </p><p>Dinner had been as tense as everyone predicted. Lord Tobio sullenly glared at his soups and was looking at everything and everyone but his grandfather. In turn, Lord Kageyama gave his best of joviality but he was in a brooding mood as well; more often he ate his dinner than speak. Both Mistress Hinata and Miss Shimizu seemed to have accepted that the night festivities were non-existent and had kept to their dinner thus leaving the young Hinatas to make light conversation and jokes throughout the three courses. To an extent, Shouyou was doing a better job of getting a reaction out of Lord Tobio even if said reaction was on the aggressive side. Not that his lord seem to mind, in fact he had a rebuttal ready for every snap Lord Tobio made. They acted like an old married couple Atsumu had thought and he spend the next minutes soothing his aching heart for using <em>that</em> description.</p><p>Downstairs, the Karasuno staff was having a merry time trying to decipher the cause of the Kageyamas' bad mood.</p><p>"Maybe the young lord got himself a lover and Lord Kageyama disapproved," Mao Aihara grinned.</p><p>"That's a first," Tanaka muttered. "The man loves his grandson too much for him to disapprove anything he do."</p><p>"You never know, people who loved their kids too much have a hard time letting go of them." Aihara said in a matter-of-fact tone.</p><p>"Since when ya so good at child-rearin'?" Atsumu grinned mischievously. "Ya got some secret to share ... or someone?" That got him a light slap in the face which Atsumu supposed he deserve.  </p><p>"Sides," Tanaka continued as if he had not laugh for a good two minute at the slap on Atsumu's face, "since when does the young lord have a lover? Always suspect he'll die a bachelor."</p><p>"Oh, the wonders of love. What would we be without it?" Aihara did an over-exaggerated display of fainting onto the wall. One of her hand over her forehead and the other over her heart.</p><p>"Not 'ere servin' an extra dinner," Atsumu muttered.</p><p>The three of them were standing in the hallway next to the kitchen door, inside was pandemonium with Saeko screaming, at the top of her lungs, instructions and ingredients while the two other cooks stirred, chopped, and sautéed. The hallway, too, was full of activities as Nishinoya, Ennoshita, and Narita, who recovered from his stomachache, raced up and down with trays filled to the brim with freshly cut vegetables, steaming fish, and such. Atsumu's stomach growled as the fish passed him and he wished, not for the first time, that the stormy atmosphere of the dinner would move it quickly along so that servants could start their dinner.</p><p>Karasuno House was not a very large building and its staff was comparatively small for a family of such wealth and prestige as the Hinatas. There was Daichi Sawamura, the head butler, who oversaw all the going on and order of the servants and house. Any wrongdoings or new installments were reported to him and he reported to her ladyship. Second to him was Yui Michimiya, the housekeeper. A counterpart to Daichi, she oversaw the female servants and her main concern was the state of the house in term of order, cleanliness, and appearance. Aihara was the lady's maid to Mistress Hinata while Chizuru Sasaki see to Lady Natsu's dress and hair - Lady Natsu was too young to have her own lady's maid so Chizuru also worked as a cleaning maid. Sakusa, of course, was the valet and usually his only attention was on Shouyou. However, tonight he was part of the serving staff due to the addition of the Young Lord Tobio.</p><p>And speaking of the devil, Sakusa appeared down the hall and he shot Atsumu a nasty look that the kitchen boy returned in kind.</p><p>"Don't the three of you have better things to do than block the hall?" He asked. However, his eyes remained on Atsumu making it clear who he was blaming for this blockage. Atsumu found this insulting as it was Aihara who started the conversation, Atsumu was a simple pass-by who was pulled in with the promise of scandal and drama.</p><p>"We aren't standing in <em>yer</em> way," Atsumu pointed out. That was true for the three of them were standing at the side of the kitchen door that did <em>not</em> lead to the dining room.</p><p>"Sides, you can't expect me to stay out in the storm, would ya?" Tanaka said as he jammed his fingers behind him toward the back door.</p><p>Aihara shrugged. "Yui wanted me here in case they need an extra pair o' hands." She brought out her hands in front of Sakusa, who took a step back.</p><p>"Then, what are <em>you</em> doing here?" Sakusa sneered at Atsumu. It took everything within Atsumu not to stick his tongue out to annoy him.</p><p>"Omi-Omi," - Sakusa scowled at the nickname which only fueled Atsumu's use of it- "I'm the extra hand. What if ya cut yer hand and bleed over the table? Or worse," Atsumu gasped, "what if someone bleed and got their blood over ya!"</p><p>"Then you won't be starting your training anytime soon."</p><p>Atsumu scowled at the reminder that Sakusa was his mentor for the next two months.</p><p>"Still can't believe you got the position," Tanaka said as he shook his head; Aihara nodded in agreement. "I mean given your record."</p><p>"What record?" Atsumu demanded although he had an idea of what that constituted.</p><p>"You know, how you kept messing up on your work," Tanaka clarified.</p><p>"Mixing the letters," Aihara added.</p><p>"The vase," Tanaka said.</p><p>"Half-peeled potatoes."</p><p>"That's only at the beginning!" Atsumu growled. "I peeled potatoes better now and in record time."</p><p>"You actually time yourself?" Sakusa asked in disbelief.</p><p>"Not just the potatoes!" Aihara grinned. "I saw him counting to himself while doing the dishes and fixing the sinks!"</p><p>"Who're you competing with anyway?" Tanaka asked with a loud laugh.</p><p>Atsumu stuck his nose up, refusing to let their teasing get to him. "So what if I did? It keeps me motivated. Sides, my lord must had like what he see cause I'm his new valet."</p><p>Sakusa snorted and muttered, "How could he miss with that big head of yours."</p><p>Tanaka and Aihara chortled.</p><p>"But you know, being a valet is not like being a kitchen boy," Aihara gasped in mock seriousness that hackled Atsumu's skin.</p><p>"Yeah, kinda worry if you can keep up with the demands and appearances," Tanaka added.</p><p>"Cannot be sloppy in appearance and must be on time," Sakusa signed.</p><p>"Yes, yes. It's not letters and potatoes anymore," Aihara said.</p><p>"Why are ya acting like I'm an idiot?" Atsumu demanded, his anger at the teasing slowly raising. "I know it's different work! I ain't clumsy!"</p><p>"The vase," Tanaka, Aihara, and Sakusa reminded.</p><p>"One time!" Atsumu snapped.</p><p>Daichi then suddenly appeared behind Sakusa, frightening the hell out of the four of them.</p><p>"Is there a crisis I am unaware of that requires me to be missing a server and three of you blocking the hall?" Daichi asked with narrowing eyes.</p><p>"Exactly what I was asking," Sakusa muttered. When Daichi shot him a look, the valet bowed and went into the kitchen to get the serving tray of pudding.</p><p>The rest of the group dispersed as Daichi had Atsumu and Tanaka checked the windows and lights in case the storm broke in while Aihara was to remind by the door.</p><p>The next morning, under a clear sky, Lord Tobio left for the capital just after breakfast. Shouyou missed saying goodbye to him by a minute.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>"So he never explain to ya why he gotta go back?" Atsumu asked his lord later that afternoon when they were sitting in the music room. His lord was laying on the couch, tossing a small ball into the air while Atsumu sat by the piano, trying to tie a decent looking cravat.</p><p>Atsumu had started his valet training that morning - a training he had been looking forward to for it meant the first step in becoming his lord's valet. But it was also something he had been dreading because it meant being in Sakusa's presence. And Sakusa had not disappoint in fulfilling every one of Atsumu's prediction about him being impossible to work with.</p><p>For one thing Sakusa brought in a manual on how to be a good valet and expected Atsumu to read it. Atsumu had laughed in his face and asked him when would he had the time to. Sakusa replied "now" and Atsumu spend thirty minutes reading a boring five page pamphlet on the to-dos and to-don'ts of a gentleman valet when the valet could had simply tell him this. Then, they got into an argument on what the term "gentlemen valet" even mean. Sakusa claimed it meant that the valet must be a gentleman which was why he expected Atsumu to fail while Atsumu insisted that the term meant "a gentleman's valet" in which the master was the gentleman not the valet (Atsumu did not believe this but he would do anything to get under Sakusa's skin and get some enjoyment out of it). And as a gentleman the master would be understanding if his new valet were to drop the razor while trimming his beard.</p><p>"Like that time you drop the vase?" Sakusa rudely reminded.</p><p>"Like ya haven't dropped anythin' before," Atsumu snapped back.</p><p>Finally, Sakusa lost his patience; he threw a pamphlet on cravats on Atsumu's lap and told him to learn how to tie a cravat by instructions alone before storming out of the room. What angered Atsumu the most of the entire session was the lack of seriousness on Sakusa's part. Any question Atsumu asked was met with sarcasm and distain as if the valet did not believed Atsumu would survived long in his new position. Atsumu would made sure to tell Daichi of Sakusa's unprofessional behavior especially when hehad been nothing but an angel and a perfect student. Sakusa would later tell Daichi that Atsumu had been anything but a perfect student as the kitchen boy questioned everything Sakusa said and made a pun out of anything that caught his attention.   </p><p>This was why Atsumu was sitting in the unoccupied music room, trying to tie a cravat using a long cloth with the manual opened on the piano. He may be many things but he was not one to quit before he reached the finish line and damn it, he was going to learn how to tie a proper cravat so he could shove it under snobby, two-faced Omi-Omi's nose.</p><p>His lonely learning was disturbed by the arrival of his lord who claimed to have been looking for him. That one statement only propelled the already motivated Atsumu onto unimaginable heights for his lord had so much faith in him (never mind the fact that Shouyou made no mention of it).</p><p>They started talking a bit about the training but Atsumu did not want to talk about how much of a disaster that was and moved the conversation to the weather before arriving on the mystery of Lord Tobio. As much as Atsumu did not want to talk about this subject matter, he was dying with curiosity as to why the young lord was so determined to leave for the capital.</p><p>However, the man had been very tight lipped over the subject and any time his lord so much as mentioned the capital he got a killer glare instead.</p><p>"Truth be told, he never talk much about his going-ons in the capital," his lord signed. "But he always talk when his grandpa asked."</p><p>"But he didn't this time and that's what got yall trip up," Atsumu summarized.</p><p>"Basically." His lord threw the ball so high that it swirled to the side as it fall down. He immediately moved his left hand and caught the ball.</p><p>"What ya think it's 'bout?" Atsumu asked. He pulled on the cloth only to find he had tied his pinky and ring fingers together. <em>How</em>?</p><p>His lord shrugged, "Maybe he got a bad grade or is in trouble with the university and he did not want his grandpa to find out." He gave a grimace at his weak explanation especially given the fact that Lord Kageyama was prone to spoiling his grandson; Atsumu highly doubt a failing grade would cause such a fall-out.</p><p>"Or maybe it got something to do with his mum," Shouyou continued. "You see, his mum had lied to Kageyama about his grandpa being ill which was why he came back the day before."</p><p>"Why ya suppose she did that?"</p><p>"To get him out of the city quickly!"</p><p>"Righto, but why?" <em>And why does this damn cloth keep getting knotted</em>?</p><p>"Gyaaaa," his lord gave a loud exhale as he flared around his free hand. "I come up with his mum being the source, so you come up with the next part!"</p><p>Atsumu bit his lips and wondered the merit of mentioning Aihara's speculation of a lover. Out of all the talks, that one had been the most plausible to Atsumu. However, Tanaka had pointed out that Lord Tobio rarely show any interest in pursuing a relationship. But how well do the servants knew him? After all they only see him three months a year. Which left his lord as the only other person who could confirm the lover theory. But at what cost?</p><p><em>But I really, really wanna know</em>, Atsumu thought.</p><p>Shouyou got up with one last throw which almost touched the ceiling before falling onto his lap. He laughed out loud when he looked at Atsumu, "Are you trying to do a fisherman knot or something?"</p><p>Atsumu scowled as he looked back at the manual again and then his knot. He could not understand why he kept on messing up. He had no doubt it's the manual's fault - it was printed with heavy ink that smudged some of the picture making it difficult to determine which loop the arrows were point at and which direction to pull.</p><p>"You are really struggling with this, huh?" His lord continued, innocently pouring salt onto Atsumu's wounded ego. "Thought this would come easy for you."</p><p>"Why ya say that?" Atsumu savagely untied the knot.</p><p>"Cause you're a fisherman, kinda of a given to be around knots."</p><p>Atsumu rolled his eyes at his lord's ignorance of the world outside of Orion. Sometimes it was adorable, sometime it made him wondered how his lord had survived this long.(Which was a big talk from someone who have not know what a rake was six months ago but Atsumu could be very forgiving of his own numerous faults.)</p><p>"I do ropes, not cloth," Atsumu clarified. <em>And I was never a fisherman</em>. One of the many lies that made Cesario - anything to distance himself from Atsumu Miya.</p><p>"Aren't those the same thing?" Shouyou tilted his head to his side, conveying his curiosity. He looked so adorable that Atsumu supposed he could forgive his inexperience.</p><p>"Not really - Damn it!" Atsumu swore as he once again tied a small knot. "You dratted piece of blazing cloth!"</p><p>"Cesario!" Shouyou shot him a bemused look. If Daichi was here he would had sent Atsumu downstairs immediately for no reputable servant swore in front of their masters. But Shouyou was never big on reputation or tradition.</p><p>"Do you want my help with the cravat?"</p><p><em>Defiantly not big on reputation or tradition</em>.</p><p>"What?" Atsumu asked - a bit off-footed by the question. It then struck to himthat he had been so concentrated on the mystery of Young Lord Tobio and his own tying-knotting situation that he was essentially showcasing his incompetence to Shouyou the entire time. Topping it all off would be to have his lord show him how to do his job.</p><p>"I can show you and I think I'm a preferable demonstration than those drawings ... And better to look at, I'm sure." Shouyou sat straighter and gave off a self-satisfied smile to compliment his words.</p><p>Atsumu could only blink. There was something about his lord's posture and smile that made Atsumu felt like he was being teased which blossomed a sense of annoyance in addition to embarrassment in him. He was being look down upon, there was no doubt about it and Atsumu hated it. He may had learned to live with scrapping on his knees and bowing to noble, but he could not bear the thought of having being treated as a school boy by a man he very much wanted to kiss on a daily basis.</p><p>Rejection ready at his lips, Atsumu turned - only to see Shouyou taking a seat next to Atsumu on the piano stool. Citrus and something like dark chocolate invaded Atsumu's nostrils and he felt a bit light headed by the physical closeness that he could only dream about.</p><p>Not one for patience, Shouyou took the cloth from Atsumu's open hand and easily unknotted it which brought Atsumu out of his bewildered state. He scowled as he watched his lord's fingers nimbly smoothed the wrinkles.</p><p><em>Show off,</em> Atsumu thought uncharitably.</p><p>Then, to his surprise, his lord upturned his collar and started undoing his own tie.</p><p>"W- what are ya doin'?" Atsumu stumbled. His eyes fell onto the small showing of skin due to the loosen neckband.</p><p>"Well, it don't make sense to tie a cravat in thin air, does it? It would be better practicing with an actual neck!" Shouyou said easily. He crisscrossed the ends of the tie, twist them, did a loop, and -</p><p>"Ta-da! And this is how you tie a cravat!" His lord spread out his arms to showcase his cravat - which looked exactly like it was before he unknotted it.</p><p>"Wait, what? Ya didn't even show me!" Atsumu pointed out. He had tried to pay attention but then he got distracted by his lord's fingers and all thought of cravat flew out of his head.</p><p>"Course I did! Weren't you watching?" His lord tilted his head but his widening smile showed that he was aware of the lack of attention. This rose Atsumu's need to protect his pride.</p><p>"I was but ya did it so fast. Show me again." Atsumu demanded.</p><p>Shouyou laughed as he untied the knot and repeated the process. This time, Atsumu pay close attention to the tightness, directions, and loops.  </p><p>"Okay, think I got it," Atsumu stated after the third time.</p><p>"Well, I hope so." His lord undid the tie but instead of giving it to Atsumu, he left it hanging around his neck. "Here, try doing it round me."</p><p>Once again feeling whiplash by the on slaughter of emotions - most happy, some excited, and one nervous - Atsumu took hold of the ends of the tie, praying that his hands were steady and that Shouyou would not hear the pounding of his heart. However, he overestimated the length of the tie and of his own nervousness for after he crisscrossed the tie, he pulled the ends harshly, choking his lord.</p><p>Shouyou gasped out loud and started coughing, wheezing for breathe as Atsumu let go of the tie in horror.</p><p>"Shouyou, water!" Atsumu screeched. He quickly freed his lord's neck of the tie, which he fling onto the floor. "Water! Water!" He shot out of the piano stool and grabbed the water pitcher and glass by the door. He splashed some onto the carpet as he poured the water. He would no doubt get an ear-full from Aihara but that was a problem for another time. His lord was his main priority (a sentiment he was sure Aihara would understand).</p><p>"That was tight," his lord chuckled out as he took a small sip of water.</p><p>"Do ya have difficulties breathing? Should I call for Daichi?" Atsumu was already turning when he felt his lord grabbed his hand and pulled him back onto the stool.</p><p>"No! No need of that for a little mistake."</p><p>"I choke ya!" Atsumu reminded. He was still horrified by the event and by his lord's lack of care. For Goddess sake, the man was strangled but he was laughing it away.</p><p>"Not on purpose, I'm sure." A sly gleam appeared in Shouyou's eyes. But, Atsumu took offense and failed to take in the implication of the gleam.</p><p>"Course not! I would never -"</p><p>"I know, Cesario. It's a honest mistake to make."</p><p><em>Is it</em>? Atsumu wished he could dig himself a hole in Kita's garden and bury himself in it.</p><p>After that fiasco, one would think Shouyou would want nothing to do with Atsumu but he insisted on continuing with the training. Atsumu only agreed under the condition that it was his own neck being used as a model rather than his lord's. Shouyou did not find that appealing for some reason but Atsumu was not moved. However, this meant Atsumu was now tying from a different perspective that got him to confuse the direction and loops of the knot ... again. </p><p>"Here," his lord said as he took the ends of the tie. He also lean closer causing their thighs to touch. Atsumu almost jumped at the contact. He was finding it difficult to breathe as the smell of citrus and chocolate invaded his senses, stronger than before. He wondered what he smell like to his lord, probably sweat and rotten cabbage. </p><p>"Don't look away," his lord whispered as he casted a brief look at Atsumu from under his eye lashes. Like Atsumu could do anything else. </p><p>Shouyou was almost a head shorter than him and never had the height difference been more obvious than that moment when his head barely reached past Atsumu's chin. How easy it was to lean over and press his lips onto Shouyou's forehead.</p><p>It felt like they were the only people in the world - the sunlight pouring through the open window along with a soft breeze that lifted the pastel curtains gave the room an ethereal feel. Atsumu certainly felt like he was floating. His hands laid on his laps and he was afraid to move them, to do anything that might take away the quietness, the intimacy of the moment. It was not just him who felt this, right? </p><p>"I think I got it," Atsumu breathed out after this lord lightly tighten the knot and patted the tie down to smooth out any creases or awkward angle.</p><p>"You think so?" There was a breathless quality in Shouyou's voice that was not different from Atsumu's. His face was so open and it struck to Atsumu that he had never seen Shouyou like this before. He had always thought that Shouyou was a transparent person - whose emotions were easy to read and who always said what come to mind. Yet because of these very reasons, it never occured to Atsumu that there would be a different side, a side Shouyou kept hidden from everyone.</p><p>There was nothing mischievous, nothing teasing in his countenance. His eyes were heavy with something that had Atsumu wanting to lean closer.</p><p>"Yes," Atsumu whispered.</p><p>They stayed as they were, neither of them letting go or leaning away. Atsumu with his hands on his laps and Shouyou with his hands on Atsumu's chest. Actually, they were on the cravat but they had slid down after he was done. Eyes on each other; Atsumu noted that there were hint of gold in Shouyou's eyes, which moved down toward Atsumu's lips; was it his imagination or did he moved closer?</p><p>"We don't have cravats in Lyson, ya know." Atsumu splattered out.</p><p>"Really?" Shouyou stopped short, an amused twinkle in his eyes.</p><p>"Yeah ...  we just button up our clothes or tie it with a slash. None of these fancy, exaggerated chokers and stuff."</p><p>"Chocker?" Shouyou grinned with a raised eyebrow and Atsumu blistered at the reminder of that humiliating episode.</p><p>"Ya never letting that go, are ya?" He gave out a weak chuckle.</p><p>"Never!"</p><p>The door suddenly opened and Sakusa entered the room. Atsumu and Shouyou immediately pulled away but judging by Sakusa's stupefied expression, he had seen enough. There was no hiding the cravat around Atsumu's neck.</p><p>"What is it, Sakusa?" Shouyou asked. There was a light flush on his cheeks but his voice was steady. The intimacy of the moment gone and he was Lord of Karasuno House again.</p><p>"Her ladyship is asking for you," Sakusa said. "She wanted to discuss with you before leaving for the Tsukishimas."</p><p>His lord gasped out loud and slammed his hand onto his forehead.</p><p>"I forgot about that." He jumped up and walked toward Sakusa."Where is she?"</p><p>"In the library. Mr. Yamaguchi is also here."</p><p>"Right." Shouyou then looked back at Atsumu with a smile. "Good luck with your training. I can't wait to see how far you have come with the tie."</p><p>
  <em>Did - did he just wink at him?</em>
</p><p>Atsumu gasped at his lord as he left the room. Sakusa cast him an unimpressed glance before he too left, closing the door behind him. It was only then, Atsumu finally let out the breathe he had not realized he had been holding. He leaned onto the piano, feeling his face flushed.</p><p>
  <em>Did that really happen?</em>
</p><p>He lightly touched the cravat where the ghost of Shouyou's hands remained.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>
  <em>When Atsumu first arrived to Karasuno House, he had fallen ill. The physician had deemed that it due to long term exposure to the elements and the shock of what had transpired. Atsumu had thought that was obvious enough and had proceed to curse the hell out of the physician for even daring to suggest blood remedy for faster recovery. There was no way on earth or hell was Atsumu going to let a stranger bleed him just because he got sick over the weather. Beside, Atsumu was still numb to any other feeling beside anger and despair so he shuned human interaction from everyone but Kita ... and Lord Shouyou. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu had not wanted to get along with Lord Shouyou - a part of him was mad that the young man had the gall to take one look at Atsumu and Kita and deemed them important enough to take them back to his manor. But, his cursed body failed him when he need it the most and Atsumu spend the next few days in delirious fever - unable to tell reality and dream apart. Sometimes he was back on the ship as the storm raged and then he was on his back in a well-lit room with a fire burning. His brother was a constant presence along with his parents - his father always had his back turn, even in Atsumu's dream, his father failed to care. His mother's face come and go but always disappointed. Lord Shouyou appeared some times and each time, Atsumu had wondered if he had died and gone to heaven for what else would the Goddess's angels looked like. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>However, when Atsumu was strong enough to sit upright and held a spoon, he looked at Lord Shouyou as if he was one of Death's demons - pretty creatures that used their charms to lure their victims to their dooms. He did not want to become someone's charity project, what he wanted was to return to the beach and its neighboring towns and talked to the people there himself. When he told Lord Shouyou this, the man had looked at him and said, "You can leave when you can stand."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That had surprised Atsumu enough that he stared at the lord, who was opening the porridge bowl and cooling it down. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What kind of savior are ya?" Atsumu demanded. He must had shouted because the lord had looked at him in shock.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Wha-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Aren't ya suppose to be all 'no, don't go. Ya can stay 'ere all ya went and I will make ya feel better' or somethin.' That's what a hero would do!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The lord laughed out loud, "I am no hero.  Beside, you clearly want to leave and I am under no obligation to have you remain when you are well. Now, eat up before the porridge gets too cold. Saeko is the best cook in Celeste and you are in for a treat!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am not yer charity case," Atsumu glared over the porridge.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lord Shouyou ooked at him in the eye, "I am aware."</em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Daichi was not happy with either Atsumu or Sakusa when he found out about the training session. With astonishing patience, he asked them what they hoped to accomplish by acting like a couple of schoolboys fighting over their favorite pudding. Feeling <em>like</em> a reprimanded schoolboy, Atsumu gave his promise that he would <em>tried</em> (with great emphasis on the word) to follow along Sakusa's teaching without acting out every five minutes. Sakusa, too, promised that he would <em>tried</em> ( also emphasis on the word) to be patient and serious over training Atsumu.</p><p>Sakusa made no mention of what he saw in the music room. Atsumu wondered why he had not told Daichi especially since the scene that he walked in on was enough to start a scandal, which was the last thing Atsumu wanted for his lord. Perhaps he was waiting for a later time or maybe he wanted to keep Atsumu on the edge - which was kind of working. However, Atsumu did not want to confront him in case he might gave Sakusa more ammunition then necessary. </p><p>But even the threat of Sakusa could not take away the euphoric haze that had overtaken Atsumu since the afternoon. It was clear that Shouyou wanted him. After all, his lord had never acted like this toward him before in the months they had known each other. They always stood or sat at a distance with a good two to three feet in between. And although Shouyou had not mind Atsumu calling him by his given name, nothing intimate went beyond that.</p><p>Until now- what happened in the music room was on another level. Shouyou was the one who made the first move - for what else could the cravat be but an act of flirtation. And to think Atsumu had thought his affection was unreturned for he was so sure that Shouyou loved the young lord. Perhaps time and distance had stalled that love. Atsumu grinned to himself especially after dinner when Shouyou had passed by him and had given him a small smile with a wink.</p><p>And thus, Atsumu was floating on the high of it all as he finished his last chore of the night - checking the lamps and fireplaces to ensure that there was no stray embers or fire.</p><p>When he arrived in front of the library, he saw that it was occupied based on illuinating light and moving shadows under the closed door. Unable to feel even annoyed by this, Atsumu decided to wait in the common room before coming back. However, as he was passing the door, one of the candle fall from his bucket onto the floor and rolled under the table beside the library door. Sighing loudly, he kneeled down to pick it up when -</p><p>"I am worry about Cesario."</p><p>Atsumu stopped short at Daichi's voice and after ensuring that he was the only person in the hall, he inched closer to the door.</p><p>"I fear that his lordship might have been a bit rush in choosing him," Daichi continued.</p><p>"And you determined this from today's training?" Mistress Hinata's voice was closer to the door which meant she was sitting on one of the sofas that occupied the sides. This must had been an impromptu meeting for if it was scheduled, she would had been sitting by the desk, on the far side of the library and not so late at the night.</p><p>"It is not just today. I won't deny that Cesario is a good person. He is hardworking and does his best to complete his work."</p><p>"But-</p><p>"But he is also rush and impatient - he always try to finish his work as quickly as possible, especially work he found boring or undemanding. This results in him making mistakes that are easily avoidable. Not to mention, he tend to run his mouth at the most inappropriate time and subject matter regardless of who is listening and who the conversation is about."</p><p>"And you fear these flaws will interfere with his work as my son's valet."</p><p>"It is not so much as a fear then a prediction, my lady."</p><p>Atsumu scowled and a part of him wanted to move away so he did not have to hear more but he stay where he was. Filled as he was with curiosity on whether the Mistress agreed with these "predictions."</p><p>"I see, all understandable worries, Sawamura. However, I feel that we should wait and see how he fare in the trial period. If he is not up to standard then you can have Ennoshita or Nishinoya take on the role."</p><p>"I am not sure Lord Shouyou would let that happen easily seeing as how he had strongly rejected them."</p><p>Mistress Hinata gave off a small laugh, "Lord Shouyou is very stubborn on matter that are important to him but even he must bow to propriety despite finding it troublesome. If Cesario cannot do his job then there is no reason to employ him in a position others are well fitted for. We have to prepare for a fight if it come to it."</p><p>"Very well, ma'am."</p><p>"Of course, I cannot exactly delude myself in thinking there is nothing more in my son wanting Cesario to be his valet."</p><p>"My lady?"</p><p>Daichi's confusion was an echo of Atsumu and he leaned closer, as quietly as possible, to catch the next part of the conversation for the mistress had lower her voice to a whisper.</p><p>"Cesario is a very handsome young man, is he not? Not to mention, he is a <em>foreigner</em>.  He comes from a different world than us and he is well-traveled - he have been to places my son could only read about, dream about. Is it any wonder, that my son ... sought him?"</p><p>"Sought him?"</p><p>"Have Sakusa talked to you about what occurred in the music room on the second floor this afternoon? After Cesario's training with him had ended."</p><p>Atsumu's heart pounded like thunder in his ear and he almost missed Daichi's answer.</p><p>"No, he had not."</p><p>"Well ... Cesario had been using it to practice his cravat skills ... with Lord Shouyou. It seems, Sakusa is under the impression that the two of them were ... well, paramour with each other as he had caught them in a "compromising position," as he said."</p><p><em>Compromising position? What the hell was that supposed to mean?</em> For Goddess's sake, he and Shouyou were only sitting next to each other, turned toward each other, and may had been leaning closer but still there was nothing they were doing that was enough for propriety to faint over!</p><p>"Would you want me to talk to Cesario about this?"</p><p>Atsumu winced at Daichi's tone and he could almost imagined the head butler's disapproving look, having been the receiver of it for the past months. Shame, for the first time since the music room, grew inside of him as he realized that he did not like the idea of Daichi having a low opinion of him especially under the assumption that he was sleeping with his employer.</p><p>"No need," Mistress said. "I am sure it was more Lord Shouyou's fault than his."</p><p>"I am not sure I follow."</p><p>"Well, you see ... my son... he is bored, restless if you will. With Lord Tobio preoccupied in the city; Mr. Tadashi and Miss. Hitoka traveling;, and only Mr. Kei reminding, my son's usual group of friends are missing. So is it any wonder he sought a distraction elsewhere. And Cesario tend to indulge him far more than anyone else from what I have observed and heard. All those days, Lord Shouyou spend riding were nothing more than a mean to relief himself of boredom here in Karasuno."</p><p>"You believe he wants to leave Karasuno?"</p><p>"I <em>know</em> he wants to leave Karasuno. I can see it in his eyes, he had a far-away look these days - always looking out of the window. No doubt, imagining of the life beyond Orion. However, he would not talk about it, especially with me when I breech the subject. It my fault, I suppose. When parents were sending their children to boarding schools and universities in the city or other countries, I have him homeschooled ... I could not bear to be parted with him."</p><p>"Forgive me if I sound impertinence, but Lord Shouyou is an adult now and he is coming of age in two weeks. I am sure if he wants to leave, he would have."</p><p>"He could, but he won't. I believe that he feel bound to be here with my failing health and for Lady Natsu. I won't be long in this world, there is no denying that. And when I leave, Karasuno will become his and the wellbeing of everyone here and in Orion will be his to oversee and maintain. I am sure he understand this and is coming to an acceptance of it."</p><p>"A heavy burden on a young man."</p><p>"A heavy burden on anyone especially alone, which is why I am forwarding my agreement with Lady Kageyama on the subject of the engagement between our sons."</p><p>Atsumu gave out a small gasp and almost dropped his bucket. He quickly hugged it and stayed as still as possible. Not even taking a breath in fear that either Daichi or Mistress Hinata might open the door and found him. But nothing happened and Atsumu leaned closer to the door.</p><p>"I am a bit of an imposer, aren't I," Mistress Hinata said.  "I keep him trapped here all his life and now I am deciding his future. But he would not talk of marriage with me and I wanted him to be well-provided for. The Kageyamas are well-respected in the country and better for Lord Shouyou to have connections. And he knew Lord Tobio since they were young  and care enough of him so that would be a relief."</p><p>"I believe you only have his interest in your heart. But what of Cesario? If Sakusa is correct in his speculation then it would be better if they stop."</p><p>"Perhaps. But we won't be announcing the engagement for a while. And I suppose as long as this ... relationship does not go beyond Karasuno, I have no say in my son's ... dalliances. The least I could allow of him for keeping him prison here."</p><p>Hearing enough, Atsumu pulled away from the door and crept along the hall into the parlor. He sat by the door until he heard the library door opened and closed with a soft thump along with the fading footsteps of Mistress Hinata and Daichi. He stayed where he was for a few more minutes before making his way to the library. Daichi had blown out the candles so the fireplace was the only source of light. Instead of putting the fire out, Atsumu sat down in front of it. It's heat did nothing against the hollowness in his heart and stomach - both seem to have disappeared sometimes during the mistress and Daichi's conversation.</p><p>How long he had stared at the flames, he could not say. The happiness and lightness from earlier had evaporated leaving behind a sense of deep shame, embarrassment, and frustration that only the truth could create. The words swirled and circled around Atsumu's ears, rearranging his understanding of not only today but of the past six months.</p><p>So, it was all game.</p><p>His hands shook, not from the cold or the heat but the anger that was slowly bobbling inside, overtaking the frustration and shame.</p><p>So that was why Shouyou chose him to be his valet - Atsumu had wondered but he had concluded, had deluded himself to think that it was because of something Shouyou had noticed about him in term of skill. Or perhaps it was because his lord had enjoyed their times together and knew that Atsumu would never betray his secrets or worries. But, it was because Atsumu was, in the words of her ladyship, a "handsome young man."</p><p>But that did not mean this was how Shouyou saw him, a small voice in his head said. Shouyou was never one for materialistic interest or physical appearance but Atsumu agreed with the mistress that his lord was restless. Karasuno boundaries were not large enough to contain his lord's high energy and need of excitement but it hurt that he used Atsumu as a relief.</p><p>What else could explain the change in his lord's manner toward him today?</p><p>What was it? The need of some adventure, some change to his monotonous life in Karasuno by having a go with the foreign kitchen boy? Atsumu did not believe that Shouyou could be so cruel. But whatever the cause of Shouyou's actions in the music room was, it was not out of affection or returned feelings. Maybe it was some fun, something to play with. A distraction, a replacement for Lord Tobio who had left so abruptly. Well, Shouyou need not worry about that since Lord Tobio was as good as his with the engagement.</p><p>Atsumu gave out a self-deprecating chuckled. What a fool he was.</p><p>He was Shouyou's servant, first and foremost. How easy it was to forgot it during their talks when his lord looked at him and listened to his words without judgment. How easily Shouyou had allowed him to speak his way, curse words and all. Atsumu had been so taken in because it was the one part of himself that he did not had to hid under the persona of Cesario. But Sho-<em>Lord Shouyou</em> was his employer, and Atsumu was his kitchen boy. Any relationship between them would be a shadow to that of a master and servant. Besides, he was engaged ... to his love, so Atsumu never had a chance to begin with.</p><p><em>This is good</em>, Atsumu decided. This would help him get over Lord Shouyou as a relationship between them was impossible for how could he know if Lord Shouyou truly see him as an equal. This infatuation Atsumu held for the lord, better to be over it then a few weeks later when Atsumu was so deep that he would not be able to get out even if someone gave him a ladder. </p><p>If his heart ached at the thought, Atsumu refused to delve deep into it.</p><p>But it was not just this that had Atsumu's blood boiling and heart thumping. It was the lack of belief from Daichi in him being a valet - it was the belief that he only got his position because of his looks. Atsumu did not mind when Daichi reprimanded him for mistakes he made. He did not like it but at least it was something Atsumu <em>did</em>. At least, this way Atsumu knew his mistakes and could try to fix it.</p><p>But to know that the staff of Karasuno believed he only got the job due to his "handsome" face was infuriating. No wonder Aihara and Tanaka were making fun of him earlier, no wonder Sakusa had not been serious during the training session - giving him mundane, boring readings but no run-through on how being a valet to Lord Shouyou was. No doubt, they thought Atsumu would not pass his trial period and that his job would go to Ennoshita or Nishinoya.</p><p>Well, then.</p><p>Atsumu tighten his fist as he looked to his right where his reflection looked back at him. Dark hair, anger eyes, and a determined scowl. </p><p>He will show them - Daichi, Mistress, Tanaka, Aihara, everyone, even Lord Shouyou - just how serious he was and just how competent he was. He acknowledged that he had given them numerous incidents to doubt his abilities but that was only because he was never <em>motivated</em> to do his work well. What did it matter that he deliver letters and scrubbed floors when there was nothing self-serving out of them other than to remind in Karasuno with Kita and Lord Shouyou. But now, now he wanted the valet position more than anything to prove he can.</p><p>He was going to show all of them exactly what <em>Cesario</em> can do.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 3</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>From the moment they met him, the Karasuno staff immediately deduced that Cesario had never worked a day in his life - he held the broom wrong and swept too harshly, creating small clouds of dust and rubbish; he used wrong brushes to scrub the floor and wipe the windows; he tired easily as his hands redden with blisters and fatigue; he used the knife as a eating utensil and a weapon rather than a tool to carve, slice, and chop food. To put it bluntly, Cesario was not of lower birth. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But the effort to get the man to admit and explain was a wasted endeavor mostly due to Cesario's tendency to avoid any social gathering during those early months. He would either be out in the garden with Feste or in his room when there was no work for him. And besides, the man was undeniably rude and antagonistic in his words and behavior that any lack of interaction with him was a relief. Thus, the staff was left to their imagination to fill in the blanks.</em>
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  <em>Aihara rose to the occasion. She claimed that he must had been a son of nobleman. A second or perhaps a third son who would not gain the land or title so he left to make his fortune elsewhere. Unfortunately, his plans were thawed by the storm and therefore, must work in Karasuno for security and shelter.</em>
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  <em>"Wait, wait. If he's a noble, won't he have some friends here? I mean there are some Lysonian nobles who live here so why don't he go live there instead of working here?" Tanaka asked, equivalently plunging a hammer over glass to the theory.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maybe he doesn't know them," Aihara argued. "Can't go around other people's houses, begging them to let him stay, can he?"</em>
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  <em>"But then why work here? Isn't it better to move to the capital where there's a small Lysonian community there?" Kinoshita asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Or contact his family?" Narita added.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But I agreed he's of higher status," Ennoshita concurred when Aihara pouted at her shattered theory. "I mean look at the way he carry himself."</em>
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  <em>"Yeah, ordering us around like we're <span class="u">his</span> servants," Nishinoya muttered distastefully. The other day, he and Cesario had almost gotten into a verbal brawl when Cesario had ask-no, <span class="u">commanded</span> the second footman to bring him the mop and bucket. Nishinoya instead told him where it was and to go get it himself. Cesario was so offensed that he started demanding what gave Nishinoya the right to talk to him in such a way. The arrival of Feste and Ennoshita deescalated the situation as the former took Cesario to the garden. Whatever Feste had said, Cesario returned to the kitchen with a glower and proceed to get the mop and bucket without a glance toward Nishinoya. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Nose in the air like he's better than us," Tanaka nodded. He had yet to have any awkward or tense confrontation with the foreigner but he had seen the young man's lack of respect or consideration toward Daichi's role as the head butler, like the time the young man had snorted mockingly in Daichi's face when he was told to clean the fireplace.  Ennoshita and Narita had to physically hold Tanaka back from flying at Cesario. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And he had such a pretty face too," one of the maids signed. "What a waste."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Such sentiment was shared among the townspeople of Orion. The first time Cesario had walked down the main road he had caught passerby's interest simply for being <span class="u">new</span>. Dark hair that fell over his hooded eyes, strong jaws and a towering height - Cesario was a very fine man that had the people gazing just a bit longer than necessary and mouth looser than acceptable among family, friends, and strangers. But then Cesario opened his mouth and out pour his accented-Toria that spew mockery, damnation, and backhanded-insults at anything and everything. The people's fond gaze converted to disgust and irritation. By the end of the month, everyone agreed that they had never met a more disagreeable man then Cesario the Lysonian Kitchen Boy of Karasuno House.</em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>
  <em>-eight days before the Summer Festival-</em>
</p><p>During the three days following the abrupt departure of Young Lord Tobio, the Karasuno staff watched with bewilderment and confusion the change in Cesario. Gone was the man who did his work at the barest minimal and in his place was a very focused, driven man who saw his tasks as work of the highest order. Never before had the windows been wiped so clean, the floor so smooth, the firewood so evenly cut, and the furniture so ordered. </p><p>It seemed like child play to the staff, his change of work ethic. Some of the younger members bemoaned as to why Cesario had not been like this from the beginning. But the more astute member of the staff noted that it was more than Cesario finally remembering the rules and directions. There was a change in him that was unlike the young man who had arrived to Karasuno six months ago on that winter day. <em>That</em> young man was lost - unbalanced, sad-  in his past, a part of him must had been left behind in the ocean where the ship had sunk. After all, that was a traumatizing event and who could blamed the young man for his lack of direction in life. He had been half-dead than alive. Now, he had returned to the land of the living and was looking to the present and future; the past forgotten.</p><p>But what the staff did not know was that the change had been an uphill battle for Atsumu, one that was continuous with no ending in sight.</p><p>One could not easily switched off a bad habit simply because they wanted to. The human mind lived for familiarity that the body developed over the years; these familiarity could be a source of comfort in an unfamiliar land and they could be difficult to run away from. And Atsumu had gotten comfortable in his half-state of living and dead in Karasuno with him feeling the most alive in Lord Shouyou's presence.</p><p>Rush and impatience were, according to Daichi, to be the core causes of his mistakes while Kita once stated that it was his aggressive and competitive tendencies. However, having lost his only rival, Atsumu's fire had been non-existent except for the spontaneous bursts that occurred when he was helping his lordship with his sword-work or when they walked around Karasuno grounds. Yet even then, Atsumu did not feel the need, the passion to do better, to be better, to be the best. The impatience, instead, steamed from boredom and lack of direction. There were times he felt like he had never left the ocean, still holding onto the raft.</p><p>But then, Atsumu remembered he had been running from the comfort of his former life - he had rejected his name, his family, his country. Surely, he could reject or at least <em>tamed</em> his bad habits. Especially ones that Daichi and Mistress Hinata feared would carried on unfavorably as a valet; the one that had him following around Lord Shouyou like some lost puppy, ready to give and take at his command. But now, now a <em>challenge</em> had been sprang forth on him - being a good valet. No one believed he could do it and Atsumu loved proving everyone wrong.</p><p>What Atsumu had on his side was his stubbornness from his mother and his pride from his father; both of which were more than enough, he decided as he laid in bed. He had not slept a wink as the words and events of the music room and library circled in his mind - keeping the ocean at his bedside at bay for the first time.</p><p>If "rush" and "impatience" were his vice, than Atsumu would tamed them. He tried to be mindful of his speed as he washed the dishes and scrubbed the floor. There were times, he had gotten so bored with his task that he had been tempted to finish the job quickly. But, that would be equivalent to giving up. So he took a deep breath and did his work as diligently as he could. He wished Kita was around to see him during these times for his former tutor would had been proud. Atsumu would love the vindication even if it was a simple nod.</p><p>Yet, Kita had been supportive, or at least, helpful in another matter.</p><p>Atsumu could change his work performance and work ethic by pigheadedness and pride alone but he could not easily changed his personality. He had always been loud and had the tendency to run his mouth - his mother thought so, his brother thought so, Kita thought so, Aran thought so.</p><p>As a child he was self-aware enough to know this but confident enough not to care. The number of times people had commented on him could populate a small country:</p><p>"<em>Oh, that Atsumu. I pity his mother, having to deal with him all day."</em></p><p>
  <em>"I rather have the other one than the loud one."</em>
</p><p><em>The irresponsible one, the rude one, the arrogant one</em> - so many names, so many snide remarks and Atsumu had taken them all in stride because at the end of the day those people were nothing to him. It was Atsumu's life after all, they did not know anything about him - so what if someone did not want him because he had a bad personality? A lost to them. Besides it was not like anything they said was untrue.</p><p>However, perhaps because he was an adult now or perhaps he could not deny Daichi had every right to worry about Atsumu's lack of thought and care - he understood how this aspect of himself would an issue as a valet.</p><p>However, shutting his mouth at the appropriate time and at inappropriate subjects was proving to be a herculean task. He did not realized how much scanty commentary or snide remarks he made on a daily bases until breakfast the day after the library. He had entered the staff breakfast with the intention of saying nothing when he overheard Tanaka complaining about Miss. What's-her-Name and Atsumu was already giving his unasked-views of the matter with enough words to make a nun faint. None the staff blinked an eye at his addition but Atsumu cursed himself for the mistake. He tried again at lunch with similar results. He tired during his tasks around the kitchen but one word on a subject matter he knew well, he was already opening his month.</p><p>Thus, he turned to his former tutor of his difficulties in hope of some great wisdom that would enable him to keep his mouth shut for a better part of twenty hours.</p><p>"I want to be like Osamu," Atsumu said as casually as he could. It did not stopped the look of surprise that passed through Kita's eyes. Atsumu knew that it had more to do with him saying his twin's name out loud than what he was saying but he ignored it and continued on. "I'm not sayin' I wanna be all like him but I think that he had all the appearance of a valet - he was quiet, he kept his opinions to himself, and he didn't stand out. People always preferred him so why not take some of that and put it on me?"</p><p>He waited to hear Kita's thoughts of his plan because it was a very stupid plan. Yet, it had made sense to Atsumu for who knew his twin better than him. Not to mention, the game he and Osamu used to play as children when they would pretend to be the other and tricked the servants and guests. No one could tell them apart due to how similar their appearances were; all Atsumu had to do was speak in a higher tone while Osamu spoke in a lower tone.</p><p>No one, not even their mother, could tell them apart.</p><p>Kita did not like the plan. To him, it felt underhanded, like Atsumu was putting on a mask rather than actively thinking and reflecting on his actions and words. He would be pretending for the most part. But Atsumu hotly argued that it was not pretending - he needed a model to base his actions off of and since Kita was a god among humans, Atsumu had to settle for the next best thing.  </p><p>"It mattered that much, what they thought of ya," Kita finally observed. Although Atsumu wished to keep the library incident to himself, he knew Kita would not helped him unless his former tutor had the full picture of the situation. So Atsumu told him of what he had heard and of his resolution because of it. The observation Kita pointed out was an obvious one but embedded in his voice were the words, <em>you really care what other thought of you when you had never before</em>.</p><p>But the thing was Daichi and Mistress Hinata were not just "other people," they meant <em>something</em> to Atsumu. Maybe it was because he was in a unfamiliar land and of a lower status then he had ever been before but hearing those remarks had weighted on his shoulder, pulling him down into the ocean until all he could think was - <em>maybe they were right, maybe I am not as invincible as I thought I was, not as free I wish I was, not as untouchable</em>.</p><p>What he had overheard in the library had <em>hurt</em> - there was no denying it and it was that hurt on his pride that propelled Atsumu to change because he didn't want to be look down upon any more. He was tired of hearing his faults thrown at him in teasing remarks or friendly jabs when they had became stab wounds.</p><p>He was tired of not being enough.</p><p>After all, if Atsumu had just pay attention to his surrounding and not his own skin, his brother would had still be on the raft with him. They both would had swam ashore, would had kneeled in the sand in fatigue, would had been rescued along with Kita by Lord Shouyou. His brother would had been the one by Atsumu's side, joining in the teasing. Osamu would had been the one to mock Atsumu for his one-sided infatuation with his lordship and reasoned him as to why such a relationship would never work.</p><p>"If <em>he</em> was here, they would have love him," Atsumu said. This thought had plagued his mind after the third time he put his foot in his mouth. If it was his brother in his place, he would had simply raised an eyebrow, stared at the kitchen maid, and walked away. Nothing said, nothing to indicate his true feelings. Atsumu had always disliked this aspect of his twin - hated how perfectly his brother hid his emotions in people's presence. Hated how people used it as a point of comparison between the twins and how Atsumu was lacking when in reality, Osamu was just as rude, loud, and mean. But no, people never noticed it, so Osamu was clearly the better twin. The Karasuno staff would had loved Osamu. Perhaps Lord Shouyou would had preferred him to Atsumu - that thought had him scowling into his pillow late into the night.</p><p>"They probably had him in uniform by the first week without months of trainin'," Atsumu muttered, unable to keep some of the bitterness from his voice. And he immediately hated himself for it, he was jealous of his dead twin - how pathetic.</p><p>Kita's eyes stared straight ahead toward Karasuno House but Atsumu knew he was not seeing it. He was seeing a different house in a different country, a different life where the other twin was alive.</p><p>"I don't think so," Kita said. His words were soft not out of hesitation or uncertainty but for Atsumu's sake. "For all his quietness and reservedness, he was your brother. He had his moments of impatienceness, aggressiveness, and competitiveness; I'm sure Daichi would have noticed them."</p><p>Atsumu grinned without humor, "nothing get past Daichi ... or you. But he hid them better than me. <em>He</em> would had done better than me at this."</p><p>"Perhaps. But you are rushin' and what's good rushin' into things?"</p><p>"I wanna get this over with, I wanna prove them wrong now!" Atsumu did not stomped his foot but he very nearly did.</p><p>"End results are all that matter to ya, hmm?" Kita turned his analytical eyes on Atsumu, who did not looked away. Looking away meant concurring to Kita's point and that won't do.</p><p>"Course," Atsumu said. He could not help but feel a bit offended by Kita's question as if he was being indirectly viewed as a child. "What's the point of doin' things if nothin' good come of it? What's the point of tryin' if there's no price for it?"</p><p>"And what is the price for being a good valet?"</p><p>"That they're wrong 'bout me and I'm a good one!"</p><p>"But what of the journey? What of the time ya spend with Sakusa in yer trainin' sessions?"</p><p>"I rather forget then remember," Atsumu said without a hint of remorse.</p><p>"How 'bout these moments of uncertainty when ya strugglin' to get on stable ground? Aren't these worth notin' and rememberin'?"</p><p>"Why would I wanna remember feelin' like a failure!" Atsumu almost shouted in exasperation. But Kita's stare stopped him from doing so - Kita would indulge in his plight as long as Atsumu was mature to deal with it. "I mean don't it feel good to get to the end and get ya reward? Make it all worth it, don't it?"</p><p>"I won't deny that," - Kita looked away to watch a butterfly passed by, its golden wings noticeable among the green of the hedges- "but seems to be a waste to forget the in-between: the tears and the dead-ends. Each of them played a part in ya. Yer friendship with Sakusa change ya just as yer friendship with his lordship have and will continue to change ya."</p><p>"I won't call any of them 'friendship,'" Atsumu muttered.</p><p>"And the moments of failure will change ya too - because they happened and contributed to the end product. Don't ya think?"</p><p>Atsumu didn't think so. As far as he was concerned, he would rather not relieve every mistake or embarrassing moment in his life. And he preferred to be as far away from Sakusa as possible because the only change that man could bring in Atsumu was the possible of committing murder. He did not say any of this but Kita must had got it from his expression; he also understood that nothing he said would turned Atsumu away from his plan.</p><p>"I hope yer prepare for what will come at ya, this is a long game ya playing," Kita finally said. </p><p><em>Yes, it is</em>. But like with very game, Atsumu intended to win.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Three days after the library, Atsumu learned that Lord Kageyama had received a telegram informing him of his grandson's return in two days. The news was relayed over breakfast to the Hinatas. But the announcement that had the Karasuno staff talking was that Oikawa Tooru was coming along as well.</p><p><em>Sir</em> Oikawa Tooru was the cousin of Lord Tobio. Their mothers were sisters and both families resided in the nation capital. Although Sir Oikawa was not a frequent presence in the summer months as Lord Tobio and Lady Miwa were, his visits, however short they were, were greatly anticipated and welcomed. If the young lord was considered the quiet, serious, antisocial bachelor, his cousin was the opposite. Handsome, intelligent, charismatic, sociable, and of a gentlemanly disposition; Sir Oikawa had most of the Orion of marriageable age sighing and squealing in joy of his arrival.</p><p>"<em>Wow</em>," Atsumu exclaimed in what he hoped was in appreciation rather than mockery because Goddess knows he was not looking forward to meeting Sir Oikawa. Even his name sound a bit annoying. "And how much does he cost?"</p><p>"Why does that matter?" One of the kitchen maid glared at him. Atsumu was washing the dishes left over from the staff and upstairs breakfast while the three kitchen maids were preparing for lunch. Saeko had left to give next week's food order to the housekeeper.</p><p>Atsumu simply shrugged at the kitchen maid's question and she continued on glaring at him as she took out the vegetables from the basket. He wondered if he would get a similar reception if he were to bad-mouth Sir Oikawa in the town center; he probably would get pounded. Though he did not understand what the kitchen maid had found so offensive of the question - as far as he could see, his question was a reasonable one to ask and his brother would had asked such question. So really was Atsumu in the wrong to ask that? He was making small talks after all.</p><p>"About twenty thousand <em>Jen</em> a year," the younger kitchen maid with red-hair, Fujiko answered. She was the nicer one compared to the other two vipers that were her companions who never failed to remind Atsumu that he was an outsider in Karasuno and in Celeste.</p><p>Atsumu whistled as he converted the <em>Jen</em> to Astorian <em>Krell</em> in his head.  With that amount of money Atsumu could buy a country house in Astoria along with five servants for half a year. "Husband material right there. I'm guessin' there's a line of folks wettin' their pants tryin' to tie him down." Okay, now Atsumu might be mocking the guy. He could not help it but at least this mockery was more on his brother's level than his own.</p><p>"Oh, they tried," Fujiko grinned shyly. "But he's a bit obsess with his job to indulge."</p><p>"He's not obsess!" Kitchen maid number one hissed, "he just care very much about his job and he was knighted for his dedication!" Kitchen maid number two nodded enthusiastically and both started squealing about how amazing he was.</p><p>"So what's his job?" Atsumu asked Fujiko but kitchen maid number two answered with a dreamily sigh.</p><p>"He's a barrister and deals with criminal laws."</p><p>"He really is amazing, isn't he? And he is so kind and gentlemanly, I never heard him say a bad word," kitchen maid number one added.</p><p>"One time, I fell in front of him and he helped me up - he held my hand and everything."</p><p>This was followed by another high-pitch squealing that Atsumu was surprised none of the windows shattered.</p><p>"Too bad man like that are one in the dozen here."</p><p>"And not in our reach." The two women signed in resignation. Atsumu also signed in resignation at the fact that he was going to be hearing this for the rest of his kitchen tasks.</p><p>"What about Nishinoya or Tanaka? Or any of the footmen, they are nice people," Fujiko pointed out.</p><p>Atsumu gave a chuckle and was going to give his agreement while asking Fujiko if she had her eyes on someone when kitchen maid number one gave off a dismissive snort.</p><p>"I suppose Nishinoya is not too bad but I don't think he would be a good husband or a father. He's too loud and wild, not in a refreshing way. When I told my mom about him, she was shocked he was a footman - he's so, well, you know!"</p><p>"He's much better than Tanaka, though," kitchen maid number two snickered nastily. "Great Spirits, can you imagine being with Tanaka? If they made me marry him, I will drown myself. He is so weird and pathetic."</p><p>"Yes, going after Miss. Shimizu like that. Though, she acts too high and mighty as if she is better than us, they deserve each other." Both women dissolved into a giggle.</p><p>"That's a terrible thing to say," Fujiko argued with a disapproving frown but the two women ignored her and started talking about how the men in Karasuno were lacking in looks, personality, or humor department. They then turned their attention to the staff of Kageyama Manor and how they were much better to look at, like Lev, who was so tall and handsome  (<em>He's an airhead</em>, Atsumu thought), or Yaku (<em>He's a feral cat in sheep clothing</em>, Atsumu thought again). They also started talking about a man called Kuroo who was Sir Oikawa's valet or something and how they couldn't wait to see him. Afterwards, they returned back to making fun of Nishinoya and Tanaka.</p><p>Atsumu was shaking - it was a good thing he was not holding wine glass for he was sure to snap it with each words the women were saying. He took a deep breath to stop himself from intervening but it was no use - they were pissing him off.</p><p>"I'm sure they're glad not to be stuck with two oinking pigs with cabbages for brains for wives. They can do so much better than that," Atsumu snapped and stared at the two kitchen maids dead in the eyes so they understood exactly who he was referring to. All thought of his brother and patience forgotten as the indignation on behalf of Nishinoya, Tanaka, and the rest of the Karasuno staff boiled inside him. Both of the women flinched.</p><p><em>Good</em>, Atsumu thought savagely.</p><p>"W-what did you say?"</p><p>"Ya heard me or are ya ears broken from all yer squealing?" Atsumu asked. Fujiko tried to step in but the poor girl was too anxious and frighten to do more than stuttered. Atsumu and the kitchen maids ignored her.</p><p>"What's wrong with you, attacking us like that?"</p><p>"Oh, don't act like ya some victim. If ya don't like hearin' bad things bout yerself, then don't go 'round sayin' it on others."</p><p>"As if you are any better. You go around cursing at everything and everyone!"</p><p>"Yes, and even if you have twenty thousand <em>Jen</em> a year, no one will want you!"</p><p>Was that supposed to be some revelation for Atsumu? Were they expecting him to be sad about this? He rather be alone for the rest of his life then shucked up with some gold digger.</p><p>"What with all the hellaboluza!" Saeko exclaimed as she appeared on the doorway. "I can hear you three from Yui's office!"</p><p>There was an uproar from the kitchen maids who started blaming Atsumu for calling them names and insulting them when all they had been doing was having a friendly chat.</p><p>"Friendly chat? Ya were insulting Tanaka and everyone else! Including Miss. Shimizu!"Atsumu bit back. But the kitchen maids were relentless of their version of the tale. Saeko finally called order by having the two maids clear up the staff dining table and Fujiko finished the dishes while she took Atsumu out back.</p><p>"Oh those two," Saeko sighed in exasperation after Atsumu finished recounting what happened. "Heads in the clouds but they're always like that when Sir Oikawa visited."</p><p>"He can't be that <em>great</em>," Atsumu muttered nastily.</p><p>Saeko shrugged, "they are young, they are infatuated but I will talk to them about treating the other staff here so don't worry too much 'bout it."</p><p>"Bu-"</p><p>"It's not your job to oversee the kitchen, its mine. And when I see my kitchen isn't in order, I will deal with it." Her tone leave no room for argument and Atsumu could not help but pouted. "But, it is so nice to know that you care for Ryuu enough to defend him." She gave him a huge grin that for some reason left him embarrassed. She was a handsome woman after all. Atsumu stuttered to answer the complement but she was talking again, "when you first arrive, I though you some tight, rude little guy."</p><p>"Hey," Atsumu scowled, "I'm not little!"</p><p>"Of course, you concetrate on that! But really, you used to go storming around, biting off anyone who so much at look at you. But turns out you are alright. You're a good man, huh." Saeko laughed good naturally.</p><p>Before Atsumu could responded, he noticed a tint of orange appearing from around the corner of the building and he quickly jumped behind a stack of crate, which were used to deliver food yesterday. He hissed at Saeko to pretend he was not there and before she could questioned him, Lord Shouyou was before her.</p><p>"Good morning, Miss. Tanaka," he cheerfully greeted her.</p><p>"Oh- good morning, m'lord," Saeko replied. Atsumu wished she would stop looking down her side out of fear that his lordship might looked over the crates.</p><p>"Today's breakfast was amazing, especially the strawberry tart. Sawamura told me that it was a new recipe, it was very delicious. You are a really genius in the kitchen!" The compliments effectively pulled Saeko into a conversation with his lordship which lasted about five minutes but it felt like eternity to Atsumu whose knee was starting to hurt from the weird angle he was in.</p><p>But before his lordship left, he asked Saeko where Cesario was. Heart-pounding, Atsumu pleaded Saeko, who glanced at him, not to tell via eye contact. Thankfully, she got the message and told Lord Shouyou that Atsumu had went into town for supplies and would his lordship like to leave a message for him through her?</p><p>"No need, I can find him later," Lord Shouyou readily replied and left.</p><p>"So you got some lover spat or something?" Saeko asked. The question was so surprising that Atsumu jumped, hurting his knee even more. Swearing violently in his head, Atsumu took a seat by the doorway, his eyes on his surrounding in case his lordship returned.</p><p>"We aren't lovers." Atsumu could not stop the heat that raised to his face at the word. "I don't know what Omi-Omi been sayin' but we aren't!"</p><p>"But what about the music-"</p><p>"He was teaching me how to tie a cravat! Nothin' more - yall love to gossip and make things up."</p><p>"So, you really aren't together!"</p><p>"Nope, never!"</p><p>"Then, why are you hiding from him? Hmmmmm." Saeko raised an eyebrow and pointed at him as if she had him cornered - which she kinda did.</p><p>"<em>Oh</em>, look at that, I need to get started on the firewood," Atsumu shouted as he quickly stood up, ignoring the pang in his knee. He started walking away. "Gotta go, don't want Daichi up my neck again!"</p><p>"You can't run from me, Cesario. I will find out what you're hiding."</p><p><em>That's what I'm afraid of</em>, Atsumu thought as he walked away.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>It was not that Atsumu was hiding from Lord Shouyou. It just so happened that whenever he saw his lordship walking down the hall or the garden path, Atsumu suddenly remembered he needed to go the opposite direction or found something interesting behind a wall, a hedge, or a pile of crates. And it just so happened that when his lordship try to start a conversation, Atsumu remembered an errand Daichi had imposed on him. So with a quick apology and a sharp bow, Atsumu backed away. All the time feeling his lordship's eyes on him.</p><p>Okay, Atsumu lied; <em>he was hiding from Lord Shouyou</em>.</p><p>In fact, he had not seen his lordship at all for past two days ever since he rejected the offer of a walk around the boundaries of Karasuno and Kageyama Manor. Atsumu had thought the rejection had gone well; he had not stuttered as he made it clear he did not want his lordship's attention and that he had better things to do than spend all morning walking round the area. All this was said without him accusing his lordship of stringing him along or playing with his heart when it was all Atsumu wanted to talk about. But he did not because he did not want to hear Lord Shouyou confirmed Mistress Hinata's belief. Nor did he wished to show how affected he was by the episode in the music room, which had meant nothing to his lordship. </p><p>Lord Shouyou had tired two more times that day to initiate a conversation; each time, the "Daichi excuse" was ready on Atsumu's lips. Finally, his lordship got the message and proceeded to ignore his kitchen boy. This was when the real challenge began for Atsumu found himself wanting to apologize for his behavior just so his lordship would stop treating him like he was part of the furniture. </p><p>The incident with Saeko was the first time in two days Lord Shouyou had asked for Atsumu. He was not sure what to do with this information but he could not deny the bit of joy in his stomach at being remembered.</p><p>Even so, Atsumu was not giving up - he was not going to fall for whatever game his lordship had up his sleeve. He refused to be used as a stepping stone for someone else's love life - ready to be toss away at a moment notice when a better option came. However, he soon learned that when Lord Shouyou wanted something, he get it. And apparently, Lord Shouyou wanted to find Atsumu and found him he did that evening.</p><p>Daichi had given Atsumu a booklet containing all the aristocratic families of Celeste (written in Astorian <em>Toria</em>), which he wanted Atsumu to learned and memorized. Kita was helping Atsumu by quizzing him on the various family crest; names of lords, ladies, and sires; and properties when they heard the clacking sounds of boots hitting on the cobbled stone path.</p><p>Atsumu's heart sank to the ground when he looked up and saw the golden eyes of Lord Shouyou looking down at him. An unusual small frown graced his lordship's face, of which Atsumu knew he was core cause. However, his lord did not look angry nor did he look upset. He looked - well, in truth, it was hard to decipher the exact emotion on his lordship face; Atsumu never thought his lordship had such a perfect poker face. This must be the face Lord Shouyou wore at the numerous parties and calls made by his would-be suitors and annoying noble families.</p><p>Then, his lordship looked away; greeted Kita and only Kita. They talked a bit about the garden: how the weather was effecting the plants and how amazing Kita had been with the flowers for Lord Shouyou had never seen so much blossom in such a long period. Then, his lordship opened up as to why he had came toward them (and as to why he had been looking for Atsumu earlier that day).</p><p>"The Marton fete is tomorrow. It is similar to the Summer Festival here in Orion but on a much smaller scale and it is usually seen as the first stage of the Summer Festival. It is a tradition for me and Natsu to go to fete and since I remember you ... and your charge" - <em>Ouch</em>, Atsumu thought - "had never been to a Celestian fete before, my sister and I were wondering if you would like to come?"</p><p>With each words, his lordship's poker face broke and out came the bright disposition that Atsumu loved and expected. However, he partly wished his lordship would looked at Atsumu at least once. The entire time, he was looking at Kita.</p><p>"That's very kind of ya lordship and her ladyship, but would the house be okay with Cesario and me gone?" Kita asked. Atsumu nodded in agreedment.</p><p>"I have already discuss this with Daichi and he is fine with losing the two of you for the day. There is no dinner party and my mother is dining with Lord Kageyama so there is not much hands needed. You must come, the fete have games were you can win prizes, competitions too such as sword fights and arm wrestling. There are also rides and you have the chance to taste the best food from around Celeste! So how about it?" Lord Shouyou's eyes widen as he looked pleading at Kita. The urge to say yes was at the tip of Atsumu's lips and he lightly bit himself to shake it off.</p><p>"Well... if everything's planned out and Lady Natsu really wish it, I don't see why not," Kita agreed which had Atsumu turning his head so fast that his neck muscles cried in pain.</p><p><em>Wait, what</em>? An entire day with his lord? Atsumu could barely survived being in his presence and not looking at him; Kita was expecting him to do that for a whole day?</p><p>"Actu-" Atsumu started.</p><p>"Perfect!" Lord Shouyou exclaimed with his hands raised in delight, eyes still on Kita. "We will be leaving tomorrow around seven as it is a hour and a half long journey; the earlier we arrive the more time we will have. Lord Kageyama have allowed us to borrow his carriage and Bokuto is coming with us so we will meeting at the back gates. It will be fun, I promise."</p><p>"I am sure it will," Kita said.</p><p>"Yeah, but-" Atsumu started again.</p><p>"I will tell Natsu you agreed, she will be pleased. I will see you tomorrow." And with a bright smile, his lordship turned back toward the house.</p><p>Atsumu watched him walked away - his heart on the ground along with his stomach. He, once again, tried to suppress the ridiculous urge to shout his apologies and explained his behavior to Lord Shouyou. Of course, this was Atsumu's fault in the first place. This may be what he had wanted but the human heart was a fickle thing and Atsumu was a fickle person when it came to things or people he wanted.</p><p><em>This is good,</em> Atsumu repeated to himself, <em>don't get too close, don't allow yourself open to him</em>.</p><p>"Did something happen between ya two?" Kita's question was both a welcome anchor that pulled Atsumu away from following his lord and an uncomfortable realization that Kita was going to have him talk of his feelings. The last thing Atsumu wanted that evening on top of everything else.</p><p>"Nothing happened. I'm just takin' my position as valet seriously, that's all. Gotta get used to the custom and routine when Omi-Omi's gone. After all, I don't wanna <em>embarrass</em> them." Atsumu could not hold back the sharpness of his tone but if Kita noticed it, he did not comment on it.</p><p>"Still not a good enough reason to give Lord Shouyou the cold shoulders."</p><p>"Just keepin' my distance. Won't want people to get the wrong impression cause he's the lord and I'm his valet. That's all there is between us, nothing more. "</p><p>Atsumu stared at the hedges more than it was necessary for the alternative was Kita's eyes. And he was sure if Kita took one look at his face, he would learned the truth - of the music room, which he had not told his former tutor, and of Atsumu's heartache.</p><p>"Were ya expecting more?" Kita asked. His question, as always, an arrow to Atsumu's wall.</p><p>Atsumu blistered, "No! No! Course not!" Kita simply stared at him, hooking the confession out of Atsumu as easily as breathing. "Maybe? I dunno. I was being an idiot, ya know. I mean, we spend time together and he listened to me. Got me thinkin' he care; I think he <em>did</em> care. And I care 'bout him - a lot more then I should. But ... I am a servant and he's ... above me." Atsumu signed, "So, it's unfair to me to pine after him when it's not goin' anywhere."</p><p>"Did he know of this? Of your pinnin'."</p><p>"No!" Atsumu gave off a self-deprecating laugh. "Oh Goddess's Good Grace, no! He's not good with relationships and feelings. I could've wrote 'im a note and he still won't know."</p><p>"Really? He strike me as someone who can read people just as well people as can read him."</p><p>"Well, I read him wrong. Turn out I'm just some game for him, some distraction."</p><p>"Ah," Kita signed. "He broke ya heart."</p><p>The denial was at the very edge of Atsumu's lips but he swallowed it.  Was it really a broken heart or a broken pride? Was there a heart to break to begin with? After all, it was only Atsumu who had any high expectation out of their interactions for the past months. Lord Shouyou had never given any sign that he was fond of Atsumu beyond the superficial level of master and servant or master and companion.</p><p>Atsumu signed loudly. All these thoughts of master-servants and relationships were giving him a headache. He was not looking forward to sitting next to his lordship on their journey to Marton tomorrow. What if Lord Shouyou confronted him there? Or worse, what if his lordship continued to ignore him the entire day and only gave his full attention to Kita and Bokuto? Atsumu had never been jealous of his former tutor and he did not want to start now.</p><p>"Do I really hafta go tomorrow? Can't I cry 'flu' and stay behind?" Atsumu exclaimed in despair fit for the theater.</p><p>"Not if ya want Lady Natsu sad and Lord Shouyou angry at ya," Kita easily replied.</p><p>"He's already angry with me."</p><p>"Oh, yes. But I won't want to tempt it further."</p><p>
  <em>Well, what the hell was that suppose to mean?</em>
</p><p>"Did -did ya do this on purpose?" Atsumu demanded as the thought came to him. No, there was no way Kita would do this to him, right?</p><p>Kita raised the booklet of Celestian aristocracy to Atsumu's eye-level and said, in the same monotone voice that left no room for argument, "who knows. But I believe regardless of what ya worryin' 'bout, ya and his lordship need to talk it over. After all, how are ya goin' be his valet if he won't even talk at ya, much less look at ya?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 4</strong>
</p><p>-<em>seven days before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>Marton was a smaller town than Orion but it had the honor of being located by Bosha Lake where the remains of Bosha castle stood. It was believed the Boshas, a Lysonian family shadowed by rumors of illicit affairs within and outside the family circle, had hidden their vast wealth within the castle following the Rebellion of Celeste in which the Imperial Astorian army was expelled from the country, making Celeste independent. However, after years of excavation, legal and illegal, there was no denying that no gold, no jewel, not even a treasure map was discovered. But the story continued by the townspeople as the castle and story was a source of revenue for they brought in tourists, historians, and treasure hunters.</p><p>The other source of revenue was the Marton Fete. The Fete was not celebrated on some holy day as the Summer Festival nor was it based on some story of saints and spirits. It was created with the intention of profiting from the tourists who arrived early for the Festival but got bored quickly of the castle. All this was described to Atsumu and Kita by Lady Natsu as they left Karasuno House. The transportation provided by Lord Kageyama was an open carriage that was suitable for short travel. Lady Natsu and his lordship took the seats facing away from the horses while Atsumu and Kita sat opposite them; Bokuto was driving so he sat up front but he was very much part of the conversation.</p><p>Just as Atsumu suspected, Lord Shouyou ignored him through out the entire ride. There had been an awkward moment at the start of the trip when Atsumu had unconsciously answered a question his lordship had asked. Immediately, Lord Shouyou started talking to Bokuto of another subject altogether - which was frankly insulting. How dare his lordship treated him like this. Atsumu knew he kind of deserved this given his own treatment but he never expected Lord Shouyou to be <em>this</em> petty.</p><p><em>You could apologize</em>, a small voice that sounded like Kita whispered in his head. Atsumu stomped it into the ground - like hell was he going to apologize for doing the right thing. What did his lordship expect of Atsumu after his stunt in the music room, fell into bed with him? Which Atsumu admitted he would had done in a heartbeat but he rather fell into bed with the reassurance that the relationship was serious and not some silly fling. Even so, Lord Shouyou could at least not acted like Atsumu had offended him greatly. Was his pride that hurt by Atsumu's justifiable avoidance of him?</p><p>Then, Atsumu was mad that he was mad about this - that he was allowing himself to be affected. Thus, to show he did not care, he slumped against his seat, folded his arms, and glared at every tree and farmhouse the carriage passed by. Not once did he looked at his lordship but his ears were open to his voice, which was annoyingly loud and cheerful as Lord Shouyou spoke against the rumbles of the carriage wheel on the uneven dirt road. No matter how hard Atsumu tried to block out his voice and think of something else, he found himself listening to whatever story his lordship was conveying like a sunflower blossoming and following the path of the sun - as if it was the most natural thing to do. If only Lord Shouyou had a raspy voice of an old man then perhaps Atsumu would be turn away to listen ( he stubbornly refused to admit that he would had listened anyway).</p><p>Bokuto was equally loud and annoying as he shouted his excitement to see some of his friends who apparently lived in Marton, and oh, Kuroo is coming tomorrow too! He hadn't seen him in a while. Yes, they had been corresponding by letters but it was another thing to see each other in person. (Apparently, Bokuto and Kuroo came from the same town and had been life-long friends). This had Lord Shouyou laughing as he wondered what kind of mischief was to befall on them now that Sir Oikawa and Kuroo were taking up residence for a month. A month, Lady Natsu injected as she partially jumped in her seat, <em>Tooru is staying for a month</em>! Now, she can show him the novel she had been working on, and no, her brother cannot look at it for he will only make fun of her. Unlike her brother, Tooru is nicer and smarter; gives good advice and commentary. Her brother, on the other hand, says things like "this sound boring" and "this sound fun" with no constructive addition as to why it is boring or fun.</p><p><em>Lady Natsu is writing a novel?</em> Atsumu found the image of the young lady, who jumped and ran around the garden with no control or foresight, sitting down, drafting, plotting, and writing in silence a bit endearing. And she was only thirteen! Atsumu wondered if she used writing as a way to explore the world while safe within the four walls of Karasuno House. Not that she would be in Karasuno for long as this fall, Lady Natsu would be leaving for boarding school - leaving Orion for the first time in her life. It was decided between Mistress Hinata and Lord Shouyou in the early spring that Lady Natsu would benefited more in mind and spirit if she were to live beyond the familiarity and predictability of Orion - what better place than a boarding school where she could meet other girls from around Celeste and the neighboring countries. Although his lordship showed nothing but support for his sister leaving - teasing her of her nervousness and calming her of her fears -Atsumu wondered, knowing what he now knew, if Lord Shouyou felt a tint of envy of his sister leaving while he could not.</p><p>So many people were leaving in the fall. Sakusa, Lady Natsu, Sir Oikawa and Kuroo. However, this year Lord Tobio would probably remind given his engagement to Lord Shouyou - well, at least this was something for his lordship to be happy about. And Atsumu would remained in Karasuno as his lordship's valet, overseeing and serving the happy couple. This turned Atsumu's bad mood to a downward spiral of self-pity and heartache.</p><p>" ... and there is the matter of the ghost ..."</p><p>Atsumu's thoughts screeched to a halt as his head shot up like a dog when it noticed a squirrel ran past.</p><p>"Ghost?" Atsumu scoffed.</p><p>"You don't believe?" Lady Natsu asked.</p><p>"They made good stories 'round the fire during a stormy night."</p><p>"But this one's real!" The young lady insisted, her big eyes on Atsumu - they were gleaming with excitement that they sparkled like diamonds. It was a testament of how much Atsumu care about Lady Natsu that he did not rolled his eyes at her. He did it in his head. "Bosha castle is haunted. Tanaka told me that there had been sighting of a white apparition around the castle at twilight."</p><p>"This year most of the fete is located in the courtyard of the castle." Although Lord Shouyou's eyes were directed toward Kita, Atsumu could see that they too were glowing. "Maybe we will see if the stories are true or not. Or perhaps," - his lordship's knees were now twitching -" we might even find the treasure!"</p><p>"The fete never happened in the castle before?" Kita asked. His stoic expression a sharp contrasts to the siblings'.</p><p>"No, the fete usually happens in the town square and the main street. But this year, they deem the castle, at least its courtyard, safe. Of course the castle itself is sealed off, but the grounds are open. This is the first time it is open to the public without an entrance fee," Lord Shouyou explained.</p><p>"Which is why we are so excited. In the past, we can only entered with a guide and we cannot stray from the path but now we can go wherever we like!" Lady Natsu added.</p><p>"Well, we won't <em>really</em> see the ghost, right?" Atsumu could not help but asked. "I mean we're leavin' 'fore twilight and ya said that's when it appears." <em>If it ever really appears</em>.</p><p>Lady Natsu pouted and turned to her brother, "can't we stay till twilight?"</p><p>Her brother, in turn, referred to Bokuto for an answer.</p><p>"Sorry, little lady," Bokuto said (shouted). "It's dangerous traveling in the dark, especially with an open carriage. We have to leave around four if we want to make it back before the sun set."</p><p>"Cheer up, Natsu," Lord Shouyou said. "We can still look for the treasure." That returned the smile on Lady Natsu's face. And the rest of the journey was spend with the siblings and Bokuto listing what they shall eat, play, or see when they arrived to the fete.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Marton was located at the bottom of a valley and looking down from a hill, Atsumu could only marveled at the size of Bosha lake. It ran for miles toward the faded mountains that it might as well be a small sea. The sun lighted the town favorable, its rays glittering the small ripples of the lake and the red roofs that Celeste country houses were known for. The Bosha castle was easy to recognized as it sat on top of a small hill, towering over the town that looked no different from Orion with its tightly packed houses and cobbled-stone streets. However, part of the castle was hidden by a dense forest which populated a majority of the lake shore. Atsumu could not made anything among the greens and browns for the trees were too tall and too thick. Regardless, he was glad that the town was not directly by the lake shore - he rather not be too close to a large body of water even if the weather was good and well.</p><p>Bokuto dropped them at the town hall as he settled the horses in a stable. The stalls, with their various foods and games, started in the middle of the main street into the courtyard of Bosha castle. There were tents and small rings in the castle ground which was partially filled with people. They had arrived early enough to not be stuck in traffic - human or carriage-wise.  </p><p>There was so much to see, so many noises, and so many smells. The street was a splash of bright colors - orange, yellow, reds; there was a flute, some drums, and a ringing high note as they passed a band of musicians that had gathered a small crowd. Then, there were some string instrument that weaved and flowed among the seller's cries of their wares. Hanging down from every lamp post and some windows were the banner of Bosha Castle - a stone structure wrapped by a white lily. </p><p>Lord Shouyou and Lady Natsu were their guides as they pointed at each stall and gave out their favorite product or a story that had occurred there from years past. It seems that most of the stall were consistent in their location every year and so were the people who ran it. They had passed by five stalls and all the sellers waved in greeting at the Hinatas and Bokuto - they also gave curious glances at Kita and Atsumu who were not familiar faces from Karasuno. Atsumu was not really surprised by the Hinatas' popularity, given the brother and sister's cheerful and sociable nature that pulled everyone into their orbit like the sun pulling the planets and stars.</p><p>As he looked down the food stalls and took in the smell of spices, herbs, grilled meat, and smoke, he could not help but think how much Osamu would had loved this. That food manic would had stopped at each stall and tasted everything he could get his hands on, regardless of the cost. In the spirit of his brother, Atsumu did just that: visited each stall and bought at least one food or sample.</p><p>When he bite the octopus ball for the first time, Atsumu felt like he understood all the hidden wonders of the universe. He had been a bit apprehensive when he first learned of the food but it smelt wonderful and it looked wonderful, the taste was indescribable - it was the best thing he ever had. Second only to fatty tuna. Lady Natsu had been open in her recommendations and since she had been correct in naming the octopus balls the best in existence, Atsumu took her suggestions to heart.</p><p>However, Atsumu's good mood was short-lived when he came upon a stall selling grilled chicken and pork. The smell of grilled meat had called Atsumu away from the group who were waiting in line for popsicles. The seller had barely glanced at Atsumu when he stopped in front of her but the minute Atsumu asked her a question of the cost, she looked up and stared at him with narrowed eyes. Her eyes which had been friendly toward the customer before him was now distant and weighted. Atsumu felt an uncomfortable drop in his stomach, it had been a while since he received such a stare as the people of Orion had gotten used to his and Kita's presences. </p><p>"Where did you say you were from?" The woman asked as she dripped oil onto the chicken on the grill. Atsumu had made no mention of where he was from but knowing that ignoring the question could escalate the situation, he answered her question as casually as he could. He hoped the woman had enough self-awareness to back off.</p><p>"Lyson."</p><p>The woman screwed her eyebrow and Atsumu imagined she was visualizing a world map as she tried to pinpoint the country. "You mean Astoria?"</p><p>"Nay, different countries," Atsumu growled, once again not surprised. How many times had he heard that same comment in different variations and insinuations. It never failed to pissed him off.</p><p>Lyson was a small neighboring country of Astoria. He and Kita had decided that if he were to lie about his history it was better to choose a country he was familiar with (not to mention, the name 'Cesario' originated from Lyson so it would not had been out of place). Having spend most of his childhood summers in the small nation, Atsumu learned about Lysonian folklore mixed with Astorian tales; could speak its national language, <em>Lan</em> along with his native <em>Toria</em>; and visited the many festivals that populated each month of nation's calendar. And Atsumu knew well enough that the worst thing a person could say to a Lysonian was that Lyson and Astoria were the same country. The same for an Astorian. Funny enough, from a global perspective, Astoria and Celeste tend to be lumped together as both shared the same naming system, belief system, language family, and history as Celeste was a former territory of Astoria.  The difference came in term of government - Celeste being a constitutional monarchy and Astoria being an absolute monarchy - customs, culture, clothing, and writing system. Hell, Atsumu did not look that different from Celestians but apparently the way he pronounced certain words and used certain phrases were enough to brand him as a "outsider" in most people's eyes.</p><p>"You are the <em>foreign</em> boy at Karasuno," the seller continued. She said all this as a-matter-fact that was causing the bile in Atsumu's stomach to raise.</p><p>"Yeah," Atsumu muttered. He was starting to turn away; grilled chicken was not worth the direction this conversation was leading.</p><p>"You don't look like how I imagine," she said.</p><p>"Really?" Atsumu spitted. He made sure to pour every bitterness into his voice. "Sorry to say but ya not my type either." The woman gasped but Atsumu turned and continued his way down the street.</p><p>What exactly did she think Lysonian looked like? Or was it because Atsumu looked too much like Celestian for her liking? He understood the curiosity people had of him. It was not that there was an outward hatred or dislike of Lysonians but there was suspicion and doubt of anyone who was not Celestain born - a left over from independence, even if it were hundreds of years ago. Not to mention, towns such as Marton and Orion were located deep inside Celestian countryside  and the most people had heard or seen of Lyson or Astoria was through the papers. The slow decline of the agrarian economy in way of industry and the lack of available jobs meant that Lysiaon and Asotrian immigrants were less likely to travel far from the cities where there was jobs to spare and beds to fill. Not to mention, in cities there were small immigrant communities that soothed the ache for the smell and taste of one's homeland through shared stories, food, language, and beliefs.</p><p>At first, Atsumu did not mind people asking him about Lyson. Celeste was very different from the two countries and Atsumu loved pointing out these differences because he wanted to share the beauty and uniqueness of the country of his childhood summers. However, it became quickly clear that some people were uninterested to hear this, they were more interested as to whether Atsumu truly was a foreigner and if he were, they made it clear, what about him they found foreign. It was becoming repetitive, predictable, and insulting. It was as if they viewed him as a representative of Lyson - and Astoria by extension. Or they expected him to support or correct their own assumptions of outsiders.</p><p>There was a maid in one of the houses Atsumu used to deliver letters to who kept indirectly reminding Atsumu that he would never truly understand Celestian customs and way of life just because he once made the mistake of taking his shoes off before entering the house. Atsumu never hid his dislike of her and made sure to remind her of this every time he saw her ( granted, this meant that he was kind of encouraging her views of Lysonians being backward, violent people but Goddess's Grace did that woman made Atsumu want to snap at her at times). He had been so happy when the maid left service to marry a month later. Other servants from other houses had done some variation and degree of aggression; although, for some, Atsumu had a hard time identifying if they had a problem with him because he was a foreigner or because of his rude attitude.</p><p>"Cesario!" Lady Natsu shouted as she ran toward him, Kita was not far behind but Lord Shouyou and Bokuto were nowhere to be seen. Her bright hair, tied into two braids, swayed and gleamed among the dull black and brown. Atsumu took a deep breath to calm his pounding heart for the last thing he wanted to do was snapped at Lady Natsu or had her see him at his worst. The past days of practicing his brother's mannerism paid off as Lady Natsu detected nothing out of the ordinary from Atsumu's countenance or tone of voice, which was monotone with a small smile. The young lady beamed at him and Kita said nothing.  </p><p>Having found something she absolutely must show Atsumu, Lady Natsu took him by the elbow and pulled him - bumping him to passersby - past the food stalls till they entered the castle courtyard. Here, the smell of spices and smoke made way to the fuming invasion of engine oil and hay. The colorful red, orange, yellows remained but now the stalls were wider and embellished with stemming banners and signs, small statues up front, and beaming game keepers.</p><p>Lady Natsu pulled Atsumu toward a tent at the center of the courtyard; she pointed at a doll hanging on the side and exclaimed, "Doesn't it look like the Red Fox from the <em>Tales</em>?"</p><p>The <em>it</em> in question was a fox doll with bright red fur and two tails. But what was striking about the doll was its face - a tongue was sticking out of the fox's mouth to the side and its eyes were narrowed as it scrutinized the players, determining which one succeed and which fail.</p><p>It indeed looked just like how Atsumu imagined the Red Fox - the mischievous, sly guide of Sebastian and Cesario on their numerous adventure who spoke in half-truths and riddles -  to be.</p><p>Lady Natsu was very taken by the <em>Tales of Sebastian and Cesario</em> as was his lordship. The two siblings would sit in the shade of the tree in the garden and listened to Atsumu weave the <em>Tales</em> with exaggerated facial expression, hand gestures, and voices. Atsumu put all his acting skill into these moments when he would deepened his voice to be Sir Sebastian and squeaked annoyingly as Cesario the Scholar. He held a shovel as Sir Sebastian's legendary sword as he battled the troublesome weeds. Sometimes, the siblings would joined in the role-play and it always ended with Lady Natsu rewriting some part of the <em>Tales</em> with a lovely addition of female characters who won against Sir Sebastian every time and Lord Shouyou adding some extension to the quests or battle scenes so that they were more chaotic and more fun.  Atsumu had initially found the changes annoying as they were against the stories he had loved ever since he was a child but had since grown to enjoy them. He even span his own version of some tales. Once, Atsumu and Lord Shouyou did a mock battle that quickly escalated into a real sword fight that led to the discovery of Lord Shouyou's unending thirst for victory and Atsumu's unrelenting drive to never surrender.</p><p>"Want me to get that for ya?" Atsumu asked. He was already taking out a dime from his purse string that was tied to his belt.</p><p>"Really? Are you sure, I believe most of these games are rigged."</p><p>Atsumu waved it away, "I can still win it."</p><p>"Very well, then I will get you something in return." Lady Natsu clasped her hands together and brought them closer to her smile.</p><p>"It's a deal."</p><p>The game was simple enough to understand - the player simply threw the hoops into one of the poles ( which were gather together into a circle). If the player can get three hoops of the four, they win a prize. Simple enough except Atsumu quickly found that the hoops were too light and too elastic to fall completely into the pole without bouncing away. But then these games weren't meant to be won.</p><p>The first time Atsumu had not minded though he as a bit put out that he didn't win on first try. The second time was annoying but he felt he learned the secret on how the game worked. The third time was aggravating. The fourth was just downright insulting.</p><p>His lordship and Bokuto arrived by that point giving unwelcome background noises of exclamation as the loop bounced into a pole and out.</p><p>"That should had been an in!" Atsumu hotly insisted. The game keeper shook her head in a manner that indicated it was not the first time she heard such a comment.</p><p>"So you wanted the Red Fox-look alike," Lord Shouyou said to his sister. "Why don't you try it? This game's not <em>really</em> that difficult as long as you don't <em>rush</em> it."</p><p>That was a jab at Atsumu, wasn't it?</p><p>"Because Cesario said he wanted to get me one. Beside you are bad at these games so I don't know what you're bragging about," Lady Natsu replied.</p><p>"I can win this," Lord Shouyou loudly exclaimed, "First try too."</p><p>"Oh yeah?" Atsumu could not help but called out. "Please show me how it's done, m'Lord."</p><p>That earned him a side glance which was more than Atsumu had hoped to receive.</p><p>"I'll get it for you, Natsu," his lordship proclaimed as he paid for the four loops. He did so with so much confidence and a knowing smile that prickled Atsumu's skin.</p><p>But the game proved to be unbiased for his lordship did not win on the first or second try - he either threw too hard that the hoops bounced off or too lightly that they fell onto the grass without reaching the poles.</p><p>Atsumu could not stop the smirk from appearing on his face when his lordship took another glance at him after his failed second try. That seems to pressed his lordship's competitive button because he slammed a dime for a third try - staring straight into Atsumu's eyes. The challenge had been stated and what was Atsumu to do but accept it as he took out his own dime.</p><p>He did not know how long they played - all he knew was that he wasn't going to let that little, feral gremlin win. The need to protect his hoop-throwing honor was on high and he said he would win the fox for Lady Natsu and damn if he was going to back out from it. Lastly, the thought of his lordship's face - a hard frown coupled with intense eyes that could penetrate a person's soul - when Atsumu win was just too delicious to pass over.</p><p>When his third hoop fell onto a pole, Atsumu let out a loud whoop and turned to Lord Shouyou to showcase his win only to see his lordship jumping up and down at the balls of his feet in excitement. He too had three of his hoops onto a single pole. The game-keeper gave each of them the Red Fox doll with an amused smile - they must had been her only entertainment of the day.</p><p>However, when Atsumu turned to give Lady Natsu the doll, he found an unimpressed Kita. It seems that Lady Natsu had gotten a bit bored of watching her brother and servant loose and was carving octopus balls again so she and Bokuto walked to the stall.</p><p>No sooner had Kita finished his explanation, Lord Shouyou was zooming out of the courtyard and down the main street.</p><p><em>Like hell</em>, Atsumu thought as he quickly followed. His lordship may be fast but Atsumu had longer legs and no remorse of bumping his way through the crowd. Lady Natsu was easy to find due to her bright hair. She blinked in amusement as Atsumu and his lordship stopped in front of her, panting like they had ran ten miles rather than across the street, holding out the Red Fox doll toward her.</p><p>"Here ya go, your ladyship, as promised," Atsumu gasped.</p><p>"Told you I can get it for you," Lord Shouyou beamed, breathing just as hard.</p><p>And that was how Lady Natsu became the proud owner of not one, but two Red Fox dolls. She walked for the rest of the fete with the two dolls under her arms. If people were to assume she won those herself, she made no attempt to dispel the conjecture.</p><p>"So, who won?" Bokuto asked.</p><p>"Me," Atsumu and Lord Shouyou exclaimed, both pointing at themselves with a determined expression.</p><p>"I finished every round faster than you," Lord Shouyou argued - <em>like a child</em>, Atsumu unceremoniously thought.</p><p>"Well, I did more rounds than ya!"</p><p>"Both of you lost those rounds," Lady Natsu pointed out but the two men ignored her.</p><p>"I finished the game first."</p><p>"Well, I got her ladyship's doll first!"</p><p>"It's a tie," Kita said in a tone of finality that ended the rivalry. Not that it stopped his lordship from muttering "I still win" at Atsumu behind Kita's back. Atsumu, in return, stuck his tongue out. For some reason, this brought a smile to his lordship's face.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>If there was one thing Atsumu was looking forward to, it was the Marton Annual sword fight. He hadn't held a sword for a while now and he was inching for a reason to use it again.</p><p>And what better way to practice one's skill than a competition. However, Celestian country folks did not lived up to Atsumu's expectation of a worthy opponent. He easily won them all on first or second strike alone. Just when he thought he would win the entire game as easily as walking through a park, his next opponent was his lordship.</p><p>Lord Shouyou had taken off his vest and was in his white, button down shirt with his sleeves rolled up - all Atsumu could think of was how dirty that shirt was going to be. Then, he looked at this lordship's face and there it was the same challenging look from before. He was not going to go easy on Atsumu.</p><p>Unable to suppress a shot of excitement that went up his spine, Atsumu licked his lips - his lordship's eyes followed its path which only amped up the high of the fight. He readied his stance. He would not hold back - he was here to win and this time, there would be no tie.</p><p>At the referee's whistle, Lord Shouyou flew toward him and Atsumu brought his blade up just in time to save his front from getting bruised. As this was an amateur sword fight, the only rule was that the one who pushed their opponent out of the ring was the victor - kicks and punches were greatly discouraged and frequently overlooked. Maiming was a disqualification, trash talking was an entertainment.</p><p>Yet even the audience could see that the technique employed by the two men was above child-play. Lord Shouyou's love of sword play was well known so was his tendency to fight as if it were his last. No one in the last nine years was able to keep up with him in terms of skill, stamina, and energy.  But the audience was surprised that his lordship's opponents - a very handsome man, most of them agreed, but a foreigner- was able to keep up with him and match him point for point. Some of them noted that both men were smiling the entire time as if they were having the time of their life in that ring.</p><p>And so Atsumu lunged, blocked, swung, jabbed, and dodged; Lord Shouyou returned each with equal fever, equal intensity. The rush of a fight not easily won filled Atsumu's heart, arms, and legs with adrenaline. All he could think of was Lord Shouyou - of his movements and glances- was he to move left and attack? Or was it the right and a feint? It was the best moment of Atsumu's life - or at least, it had been in a long time. Never had he felt so free, so strong as if the fete joyous air had finally reached him.</p><p>"Is this all you got?" Lord Shouyou shouted. He took a tumble but was up on his feet with a lunge; Atsumu moved away with a laugh.</p><p>"Could say the same for ya!"</p><p>"Thought this would be harder!'</p><p>"Oh, I will gave ya hard," Atsumu muttered.</p><p>Thus, the fight continue on for a few more minutes and they might had gone on for an hour - neither man wanting to stop, too engrossed in the moment and each other to notice the time or their surroundings-  when a child accidentally dropped their ball which rolled onto the ring. Atsumu saw it just in time to move out of the way but failed to see his lordship's jab. He lost his balance and next thing he knew, he was on the ground, his hand out of the ring.</p><p>The end of the match was a more subdued affair with neither Atsumu or his lordship satisfied. Lord Shouyou tried to overturn the win but since he had jab Atsumu to fall, the referee could not say the ball was at fault. Had Atsumu slipped onto the ball, it would had been another matter (" Ya would had a broken leg or a cracked head," Kita said but Atsumu ignored this).</p><p>They shook hands (just because Atsumu was competitive as hell did not mean he was that much of an asshole) but Lord Shouyou did not let go immediately - instead he pulled Atsumu's hand with such strength that Atsumu's legs felt like jelly. The intense, hungry expression never leaving his lordship's face as he proclaimed, "<em>Next</em> time, I will win."</p><p>Atsumu should not take it - he shouldn't. He already broken his resolve by taking part in that stupid competition for the fox doll and that exchange during the sword fight. He would not fall for whatever his lordship was playing -</p><p>"Like hell ya will," Atsumu snapped. He gave a final, hard shake and let go.</p><p>Once again, this only made his lordship laughed.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Keeping his part of the deal with Lady Natsu, Atsumu looked around the game stalls - there was nothing he really wanted but he might as well choose a game Lady Natsu would enjoyed. His eyes fell onto a tent near the castle gates; it was an archery game in which the player shoot for their prize - the clutch was that the prizes were on a moving platform. Lady Natsu had recently started learning archery and from what Atsumu had seen, she was very good in form and accuracy. But she had never practiced on a moving target so the game might be a bit of a challenge.</p><p>
  <em>Well, nothing's wrong with a little challenge.</em>
</p><p>Atsumu picked a round black ball with orange fringes - it was not too big but not too small, a perfect target - as his prize. Lady Natsu stood with a determined glint in her eyes as she gave the seller a dime and grabbed the bow and arrow. It took her five rounds before she was able to get the timing right so her arrow hit its intended target. She was so much like her brother; with each failure, her determination grew and her fire to win never crease. Atsumu knew that she would be fine when she leave in the fall for adversity would be her motivator and greatest rival.</p><p>She presented the prize with a wide smile and Atsumu could only feel pride. He made an exaggerated bow in gratitude that was reminisce of their <em>Sir</em> <em>Sebastian and Cesario</em> role-play. The young lady returned with a small curtsy and the two of them had a good laugh. She later left with Kita so that she could win something for him as well.</p><p>"What the hell's this suppose to be anyway?" Atsumu muttered in amusement as he turned the ball of fluff in his palm. It had to be some kind of creature or bird given that it had two eyes and a beak.</p><p>"It's a crow," Lord Shouyou answered, giving Atsumu a nasty scare. <em>Good Goddess</em>, how does he keep doing that- appearing behind him with no sound like that.</p><p>"This a crow?" Atsumu looked over the doll again with the new information. He supposed he could made out how it <em>could</em> be one but -</p><p>"This the saddest attempt of a bird I ever see."</p><p>His lordship chuckled. "Of course, for someone with no imagination, it is difficult to see -"</p><p>"Hey!"</p><p>"- but it's not <em>suppose</em> to be a real bird. It's suppose to be a cute doll a young girl give her knight in thanks for the fox doll."</p><p>"The fox doll at least look like a fox, this looks like it belong in a tennis match."</p><p>"Come now, look at this." Lord Shouyou took the doll from Atsumu, taking a stand next to him that was a strong reminisce of the music room. It took everything in Atsumu not to step away, not to make an issue of this close proximity - although he doubt that his lordship was unaware of it. Calming his pounding heart, he paid attention to the doll as Lord Shouyou pointed out all the features as to how it was a crow - he even pointed out the wings and tail Atsumu had missed.</p><p>"Ha," Atsumu gasped causing Lord Shouyou to look up at him in surprise. "It's ya."</p><p>"I beg your pardon?"</p><p>"This crow, look at it - its orange hair's like yer. Its ya in crow form!"</p><p>His lordship blinked down at his counterpart with a scrutinizing eye that left no thread un-turn. "Humph, I suppose it does looks like me. How funny since my family crest is a crow too. Well, then, since you have so much of problem with it, I shall take it."</p><p>"What? No, her ladyship won it for me. Get one yerself." And Atsumu snatched the wretched doll back.</p><p><em>This was not good</em> - he was falling into the familiar pattern of banter that had his lordship leaning a bit closer than propriety would allow and Atsumu hanging onto his every words, reading his every expression like they meant something.</p><p>Clearing his throat, Atsumu placed the doll away and loudly exclaimed that he was going for a walk around the grounds. His lordship agreed that <em>they</em> should see as much of the castle grounds for who knew when <em>they'll</em> have this chance. At lost on how to reject the offer, especially with the memory of his lordship's cold indifference, Atsumu walked in tense steps a few feet beside Lord Shouyou. He planned to walk in silence but his lordship was having none of that. He was chatty as a crow, pulling answers and answers out of Atsumu - who gave in after a considerate amount of resistance. Atsumu hated how easy, how natural it was to walk by his lordship's side as if the past four days had never happened.</p><p>There were moments when Atsumu felt his lordship's eyes on him - it always align with Lord Shouyou asking questions that had Atsumu hesitating to answer. Things like what he had been up to for the past days, how his valet training was going ( had Atsumu learned how to tie a cravat yet), why he no longer use the music room for study. The space between them was far too glaring - every swing of his lordship's arms brought him closer to Atsumu and with every step Atsumu tried maintaining the distance. He also limited his response to a single word or a sentence that was no longer than twelve words.</p><p>What was his lordship trying to gleam from Atsumu - what was he playing at? Many times Atsumu wanted to drop the facade and just asked his lordship the questions that were eating up inside him like a caterpillar on a tomato plant. But, once again, he was not ready for the direction such an exclamation would led; and if Lord Shouyou, who was as forward as hell, was unwilling to enter that conversation himself than it was best left alone.</p><p>They walked round the castle which was a gray stoned fortress that was build in mind of a possible siege or revolution, the castle loomed as a great shadow on the eastern side of the hill, darkening the already thick woods. The romantic in Atsumu compared the wood to that of the Forest of Mist from the <em>Tales</em>. In fact, most of today seem to play some sort of parallel to the characters and setting of the <em>Tales</em>. Bosha castle for one could be the Castle of the Gray Lady, a castle hunted by the late wife of a lord who had Sir Sebastian poisoned and placed Cesario in a difficult position of finding an antidote - it was one of the few <em>Tales</em> that highlighted the scholar rather than the knight. Funny enough, it was Osamu's least favorite. He had claimed he hated that Cesario cared more of proving his intelligence in this tale than saving Sir Sebastian's life - it was out of character. Their mother would than reminded Osamu that the <em>Tales</em> were originally stories spoken around the fire, passed from one generation to another through tongues - some liberties must be taken on the inconsistency. Atsumu wondered if the Bosha family took inspiration from the <em>Tales</em> - he grinned, would there be a labyrinth under the castle?</p><p>Atsumu and Lord Shouyou arrived to an open area that over look the lake. Here tables had been lay out for people to rest while some couples and families were on the grass with their foods out on blankets. Some of the children were playing with kites which populated the blue sky, balls bounced around the green, and wooden swords slashed between the two. The picturesque scene of the lake against the blue-green backdrop was reminiscence of Lake Siger near Vega, the capital of Astoria.</p><p>And suddenly, the nostalgic longing for his home country rose like a balloon in Atsumu's lungs and he remembered the peaceful mornings when the sun would raise above the Astorian mountains over a pastel sky and the smell of pine; the sunsets when it looked like the world was on fire and the crows sang good bye; the taste of tuna freshly caught mixed with newly harvested rice; the frosted chill of a winter morning that hint of the inevitable snow; the sound of Toria spoken in long vowels and mixed consonants in which Atsumu's was not the only one in a crowd; the whoosh of robes against wooden doors and sliding panels.</p><p>Celeste for all its beauty, all its uniqueness and quirks was not Astoria - not home. It held no memories of days gone: of the times Atsumu would explored the woods behind his home, pretending to be an adventurer in search of treasure or a hero in search of demons to kill; of the times Atsumu and Osamu would made Aran go mad with their pranks and jokes but he never stayed mad with them long; of his mother's laugher at a funny story Atsumu invented or Osamu heard.</p><p>But Astoria was no longer safe - it had never really been safe- and those memories were just that, memories. Holding onto them like precious metal would change nothing and all it done was sank Atsumu into despair in the last months.</p><p>In a way, the library had been a wakeup call.</p><p>"What's that?" Lord Shouyou suddenly shouted as he pointed at the wood. Atsumu stumbled at the sudden intrusion and he looked at the place Lord Shouyou's finger was pointing. It was a small opening between the thick blanket of greens with a dirt path leading into it. However, he could not made anything out that might caught his lordship's attention.  </p><p>"See what?" Atsumu asked.</p><p>"I thought... I thought I saw something moved among the bushes. Something white." His lordship was frowning as he dropped his finger. Atsumu looked again but still nothing.</p><p>Not waiting for another response, Lord Shouyou walked determinedly toward the dirt path. Not really surprised and just as curious, Atsumu followed along.</p><p>"Is it safe to go? Won't we get lost?"</p><p>Lord Shouyou did not faltered in his steps. "I've visited these grounds before. This is a hiking path that led to the lake - its well-hidden by the trees but it's safe."</p><p>Stepping into the woods was like stepping into another world. The blasting music of the fete faded into a whisper as the calls of the birds took over. The sun stubbornly tried to break through the twisted branches and pockets of light appeared here and there.</p><p>They walked a few more steps before Lord Shouyou stopped short. He looked around. "It's not here anymore!"</p><p>"Maybe ya imagine it," Atsumu suggested. "Maybe something got caught in the sun?"</p><p>"There's nothing here that could reflect the light. Beside the woods are too thick to let much light through, Cesa-"</p><p>Suddenly, there was a loud crack that reminded Atsumu of the time he snapped a branch in half - only this time, it sounded like a tree trunk. Was it an animal? Can't be a deer - a bear? No, bears weren't native in this area. Another crack and from his side vision, Atsumu noticed a white object flashed by.</p><p>Something pressed against Atsumu's side and Lord Shouyou whispered into his ear, "you saw that, didn't you? That was not an animal!"</p><p>"Maybe one of the kite fly off." Atsumu was glad to find his voice steady for shiver that erupted at the back of his neck had little to do with the creaking sounds and mysterious white object.</p><p>Another crack and it was followed by a laugh, a hysterical laugh that was not unlike the scratching of long nails against black board. Atsumu's legs felt strangely light and it was taking more thought to stand straight. His lordship was shaking like a leaf on his right which meant Atsumu's entire right side was also shaking.</p><p>"M-m-m-maybe, we-we should go back?"</p><p>Atsumu was in agreement but the moment they turned back on the path, something fell in front of them. It was a ghastly thing with pale-greenish, wrinkled skin; its right eye bulging out while the left was half-closed; and its mouth hanging open with its tongue looping  out.</p><p>Someone screamed. It took Atsumu a moment to realize it was himself. His right side was tightly pressed into him and Lord Shouyou was also screaming. Without thinking, Atsumu brought his leg up and he kicked the grotesque face. It fell to the side, followed by a loud thump from a nearby tree.</p><p>A person in dark clothing gave out a groan as they sat up. They were wiggling their fingers and flapping their arms around as if trying to get rid of cobwebs or a fly.</p><p>"What the fuck?" Atsumu shouted. The figure gasped and looked at the two men in fright. They tried to get up but their cloak tangled around their legs and they fell onto their behind.</p><p>"Who the fuck are ya? Whatcha doin' in the blasted tree?"</p><p>"Look, Cesario." Lord Shouyou was crouching down over the grotesque face, which was simply a mask shrouded by a dark cloak. His lordship has holding the mask in one hand and on the other, he was gasping thin air. On closer inspection, Atsumu saw it was a sliver string.</p><p>"It was ya whose been makin' those noises!' Atsumu growled and the person bowed in fear.</p><p>"Why were you trying to scare us?" Lord Shouyou demanded.</p><p>The answer came in the form of a short, pudgy man who ran out of the trees in a huff - his face red with sweat. He was followed by two other figures, one of whom was dressed in white. The man, upon realizing who Lord Shouyou was, bowed so low that his nose was touching the forest floor.</p><p>"Trying out a new venture," the man stuttered. He then proceed to ask if his lordship would like to sit down or lay down and dear, dear, your lordship look so white. Did he need water? All this time, the man pushed Atsumu to the side.</p><p>"How are you feeling, your lordship?" The idiot asked so emphatically that one might think he was talking to his son and not his social superior. Atsumu was feeling a lot of things toward the man and none of them kind. But he held his tounge as his heart was busy bringing oxygen to his lungs and everywhere else.</p><p>Lord Shouyou waved it all away with an easy laugh. "What do you mean by venture?"</p><p>"A haunted castle." The man gave a grin that he probably thought made him looked mysterious but made him resembled a bulldog sneezing.</p><p>When neither Shouyou or Atsumu showcased amazement or wonder at the reveal, the man's jolly countenance withered a bit like a sack of potatoes.</p><p>"We're in the middle off the forest," Lord Shouyou pointed out.</p><p>"Yes, yes, your lordship is as astute as ever. But you see, this, what you see here, is a test run," the man said as he waved his hand toward the grotesque mask and his worker dressed in white. "I - well, I couldn't get the green light to have a try at the castle but it need not be in a castle, could be in a farm house or even a manor. The point is that what I provide is a chance for those to experience what it feels to be actually haunted - when you are being constantly followed as you moved from one location to another. Not that I had wanted to place you in such a terrifying situation and I do hope you forgive me. I would have never place your lordship in such an inexcusable state."</p><p>Once again, Lord Shouyou gave his acceptance of the apology and the man continued again with a single intake of breath.</p><p>"And the haunting, as you have seen, is provided by me, well, by my workers. They're the ghost, ghouls, demons, moving furniture, figureless creaking in the stairs, and following eyes - what we provide is a chance to live in your fear."</p><p>"So yer chargin' people to scare them?" Atsumu gaffed. "That's -"</p><p>"Amazing!" His lordship gasped - not exactly the words Atsumu would had used so he stared at Lord Shouyou in disbelief. "It's like a ride but more interactive and more exciting. Imagine, an actual haunting!" He looked again at the masked figure with genuine interest.  "Imagine this inside a hallway or basement - of course, its dark so we don't know where anything is and where each door lead to. You said this is a test run, are you planning on opening this at the Summer Festival?"</p><p>"Yes." The man gave off a belly-filled laughter that was far too loud and too high to be natural. "Yes. I've just rented a small house - not too high and not too shady looking to fit the look and it's a matter or advertising  - its the first of its kind after all."</p><p>"I'll be sure to come and tell my friends about it. I'll love to see how it all play out in a proper location."</p><p>"You are too kind. Not many saw this as a successful business and perhaps a tad -"</p><p>Atsumu rolled his eyes, this man was just fishing for compliments at this point. But Lord Shouyou fell for it - hook, line, and stinker. "I think it will be a success. I mean everyone love hearing ghost stories and this haunted castle is a story come to life. It is already scary enough with this so I don't think it'll be much of a problem. It's really genius - how did you come up with it?"</p><p>And thus the man want on a convoluted tale that could had easily been summarized in three sentences. Of course, here and there he would lament on the fool-handedness he sometimes felt of his endeavor and the folly he had endure from his wife, bank, investors, and friends. Lord Shouyou never failed to encouraged the man by stating it was an ingenious undertaking.</p><p>His lordship was too kind sometimes.</p><p>"In truth, your lordship, the venue was not my first choice and - well, I hope you don't think of me too imposing to discuss this matter with you?"</p><p>"Not at all, though I am not sure if I could be of any help."</p><p>"Oh, but you are since you are so giving and so kind in your opinions. You see the conservatory that you owned was my first choice but when I asked your estate agent, a Mr. Yamaguchi -  I believe his name was. He told me that it is out of bound."</p><p>"You are the one from two months ago - I remember now."</p><p>"Yes, yes," - the man's eyes were now gleaming with want and Atsumu stepped a bit closer to his lordship, fighting the urge down to slap his eyes away - "And I was wondering, well now that you've seen what this venture is capable of, I was wondering -"</p><p>"I am sorry. I believe I know what you're about to ask and my answer is the same as two months ago."</p><p>"Oh, but you see, I have seen the building and although the Western part is beyond help, I'm sure the rest of the build-"</p><p>"Mr. ---, what part of "no" do you not understand?"</p><p>It was as if someone have dumped a bucket ice water down Atsumu's vein - the same could be said for the man, who froze, his mouth hanging open, choking back his next word. Lord Shouyou was no longer smiling - any friendliness was erased from his manner and posture like a gate shut up. It was the same face he wore the day before when he found Atsumu and Kita in the back gardens with the added effect of shadows from the trees.</p><p>"Oh, I'm - I'm sorry if I have offend-"</p><p>"You have not offended me. But I must get going for my sister will be looking for me. Good luck with your endeavor - I will be sure to come during the festival."</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>"What do you think? Isn't it an amazing idea - a haunted castle!" Lord Shouyou, like the sun shining after a thunder storm, was as cheerful as ever</p><p>"I dunno," Atsumu muttered, "who the heck would pay to see that?"</p><p>"I would."</p><p><em>Of course you would</em>, Atsumu thought. "Apart from ya. Ya really think people want to pay to get their pants wet by some scary faces?"</p><p>"Of course, everyone like being scared now and then. Why do you think we love ghost stories so much? Its a moment of excitement without any real danger - who won't want that?"</p><p>The sunlight was an unwelcome glare after the coolness of the trees but the wide space of the green and the blue sky was appreciated from the suffocating closeness of the woods. The children were resting their kites as they chewed on their food given by their guardians. Wondering where Lady Natsu, Kita, and Bokuto were, Atsumu almost asked out loud when his lordship destroyed the fragile peace between them with a hammer of a question.</p><p>"Why were you avoiding me these last three days?"</p><p>He might as well asked if hell was hot or cold. At least, Atsumu would had an easier time answering <em>that</em>.</p><p>Foreseeing Atsumu's denial, Lord Shouyou added, "don't bother contradicting me. I'm not dumb as anyone may think."</p><p>"No one thinks yer dumb," Atsumu muttered uncomfortably.</p><p>"Then, why are you ignoring me? What have I done that offended you?"</p><p>Did - did he not remember? Did he not know - or he did but wanted Atsumu to say it?</p><p>"Ya didn't offend me." Atsumu hesitated but his lordship was giving him his undivided attention that, for some reason, resembled Kita at his most disciplinary moment. "It's just that there's been ... rumor 'bout us spending too much time together. If ya know what I mean."</p><p>"I don't. What do you mean?"</p><p>Unable to stay still for one more moment, Atsumu walked toward the railings - putting as much distance he could from the happy families and couples. The suffocating feeling from the woods was returning but it felt like his heart was hanging over the cliff - one word might tipped it over and permanently changed the way his lordship viewed him and how their relationship would go on.</p><p>But perhaps this was for the best - better to let it all open so he did not returned to Karasuno, looking over his shoulder at every creak in worry that it would be his lordship. And he really hated the silence and distance between them the past three days. The last hours had been the closest they had been with each other but what if that was to be destroyed by the next few minutes?</p><p>Nonetheless, Atsumu recounted what Mistress Hinata and Daichi had said in the library and how the Karasuno staff thought they were lovers because his lordship had given Atsumu the valet position before he was a footman. His steady voice was a mask to his galloping heart. He flexed his fingers from time to time to relief some tension. However, Atsumu had not been entirely truthful for he made no mention of his own feelings toward his lordships - feelings that perfectly align with the lover rumor; how much he wished it were true and how much he wished to know of Lord Shouyou's feelings of the matter, of him. Instead, he made it sounds like he had no feelings at all; that he was more upset of a rumor that was based on simple conjectures and was unsure as to why the Karasuno staff would think of them as lovers, when they surely were not. Unless his lordship had something to add?</p><p>Lord Shouyou's face was a kaleidoscope of emotions - at first his eyes were wide with curiosity and hunger - hunger for an enigma solved. Subsequently, it gave way to confusion, than frustration when his mother appeared, resignation followed at the mentions of the rumor than more confusion. </p><p>"What's wrong with being my lover?"</p><p>Not for the first time that day, Atsumu was left speechless. Lord Shouyou's voice was calm so were his posture, it was only his cheeks, which were a bit flushed, that showcased his self-consciousness behind the question. And what a question it was - how was Atsumu to think of it, to answer it? Was his lordship asking why Atsumu found the idea laughable - impossible? Or was he asking if Atsumu had no wish to be his lover?  Lord Shouyou's straightforwardness could be vague at times.</p><p>"Do ya want <em>me</em> to be <em>yer</em> lover?"</p><p>The flush darken and Atsumu could not say his face was not the same.</p><p>"Of course! I like you enough," - Atsumu's heart sore and plummeted at those words, <em>like</em> - " I enjoy spending time with you and well, I thought you like me too." Lord Shouyou looked down, revealing how red his ears had become.</p><p>This was not how Atsumu imagined his confession would go - yes, he had thought of confessing but it was always more romantic with the raising or setting sun in the background and a passionate, dramatic admission of love - on Atsumu's side. He felt Lord Shouyou would had been more straightforward with less flowery language but it would had been just as heart-pounding and warming.</p><p>What he had now was definitely heart-pounding but not heart-warming. There was something about all this that did not felt right, something that was nagging him.</p><p>"What 'bout Lord Tobio?" Atsumu asked.</p><p>His lordship quickly looked up - his eyes wide as well as his mouth.</p><p>"What about him?" He was trying to appear nonchalant but there was a note of alarm and breathlessness that was difficult to ignore.</p><p>"Well, ya in love with him, arentcha?"</p><p><em>What are ya doing, you big idiot! Why are ya bringing that man up now</em>? Because Lord Tobio was important to his lordship and it seem impossible to enter a relationship with Lord Shouyou without bringing him into the equation. Also maybe because Atsumu was a masochist deep inside, he wanted to know how he stand in comparison to Lord Tobio in Lord Shouyou's heart.</p><p>And indeed, Lord Tobio held a large part of his lordship's heart given how bewildered and flustered he looked. Lord Shouyou opened his mouth and closed it - he repeated this two more time- his eyes looked to his sides before returning to Atsumu's.</p><p>"How did - was it that obvious?"</p><p>"Obvious to everyone in Karasuno ... and the Manor and Orion."</p><p>"But not to the one that matters," Lord Shouyou whispered with a sad smile.</p><p>That smile told Atsumu everything he needed to know - even if he were to be his lordship's lover, he would be second or perhaps third to Lord Tobio. Yes, Lord Shouyou <em>like him enough</em> but he was <em>not</em> in love with him. Forget plummeting onto the ground, Atsumu was deep underground with the dirt falling on top of him.</p><p>And apparently Atsumu was not <em>just</em> infatuated with his lordship - not the short-term, rose-colored ones of youth when you think of your love as the height of romance and the best life could offer. Goddess know how much Lord Shouyou annoyed him with his stubbornness at times, exasperated him with his optimism, and put him out with his kindness. But the thought of having none of that in his life was a return to the beach when the world was in thunder and darkness, when the cold wind invaded every of his senses with the pressing belief that he might as well be dead. His feelings were not dying embers but a full out bonfire - with each day, each look, each time spend made it grew until it engulfed the entire forest.</p><p>When did it all began? Was it when Atsumu first took note of how nice he found his lordship's laugh or was it when he couldn't go a day without wondering if Lord Shouyou was having fun or if he was well. Moments that should had irritated him, he looked on later with endearment. He was in too deep but he had not left reality completely to know that his lordship did not share the same intensity, the same passion since he was aching for another man he had known for all his life.</p><p>After all, what was six months to a lifetime of friendship?</p><p>"That's the thing - I don't want to be ya lover that ya would push to the side the minute Lord Tobio showed up."</p><p>Lord Shouyou only blinked at him; Atsumu was glad to know that he could made him speechless - there must be some balance between them.</p><p>"Why would you think <em>I'll</em> just push you away?" The offense was quite clear.</p><p>"Why won't ya? Cause that's what happen to lords' lovers. Ya get tired of them and ya sweep them under the rug."</p><p>"And I'm the kind of person who would do that?"</p><p>"No, but that doesn't mean ya won't do it by accident. Your lordship, please, please don't play with me - don't play with my heart when ya not serious 'bout it."</p><p>There was no happy endings for lovers of lords, ladies, and sires - his mother was proof of that. His father was already married and had a son when he met Atsumu's mother. She, for all her sensibility, fell for him - making her a social outcast because Atsumu's father refused to dissolve his first marriage nor acknowledge Atsumu and Osamu as his legitimate sons. Astorian nobilities for all their love of scandals and love affairs could not bear the thought of his father with a mistress and two living sons. And even though Mistress Hinata did not seem at all scandalous at the thought of Atsumu being her son's lover he highly doubt the Kageyamas would be so forgiving especially Lady Kageyama who by all account sounded like an vapid, evil witch in human form. </p><p>Thus, despite all his romantic dreams and notions, Atsumu was unwilling to fall with his heart open - free for the breaking. But the problem was Shouyou Hinata was capable of breaking him without meaning to.</p><p>Once again, silence engulfed them. Atsumu was already thinking of routes around the house that he could use so his lordship won't have to see him anymore when -</p><p>"I liked what we had before," Lord Shouyou said gently as if he was talking to a baby - or a cracking heart. "You don't hide your opinion, you always say it as it is. I like that. I feel that I could tell you anything and I would hear no lie from you. I thought of you as my friend."</p><p>"Me too," Atsumu replied quickly. "Always felt lucky that I met ya that day, that it was ya who found me. Gettin' to know ya - and every one at Karasuno cause of ya ... I'm happy that ya thought that way of me, cause that's what I feel 'bout ya too." <em>That and more</em>.</p><p>Lord Shouyou gave a weak smile; then, he bit his lips and cleared his throat. "The truth is, I am attracted to you - I wasn't playing a joke on you, that day in the music room. I did ... plan on asking you especially since you seem just as interested." And his face was red again, so was Atsumu's.</p><p>"Oh." For what more could Atsumu say than he had already said. But the confirmation was nice to hear.</p><p>"But you're right - it is unfair of me to ask you to give more than you can just because you are my valet. I didn't think the staff would had taken it like that.  I didn't ask you to be my valet because of that. No, actually the thought of you undressing me and dressing me is a nice one," - both of them laugh awkwardly- "but I wanted my valet to be someone I trust. I know Ennoshita and Nishinoya are good people but I don't really, <em>really</em> know them, not as well as I think I know you. I trust you - your opinions are important to me."</p><p>"It's the same for me - yer opinions matter to me too."</p><p>"I am glad ... Would it be awkward if we are friends again? Forget this talk ever happen?"</p><p>"Can't forget this even if I wanted to," Atsumu grinned. What a strange feeling, his heart was breaking yet it was not a complete rejection. It felt like something had slotted back in place but still not quite right - like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle with a chip on its side so it would not lay smoothly down.  </p><p>Lord Shouyou laughed, "not for me too."</p><p>"But, yeah. We can be friends again - I want that."</p><p>His lordship's smiles beamed with delight and relief; Atsumu returned the sentiment and it was not long before they continued on their walk around the castle grounds. It was awkward at first but they easily found themselves returning to the playful banter of the day and not long, they were sharing a good joke Atsumu had heard of and Lord Shouyou laughing at the appropriate moment. Happy the two were to be talking again, but heavy in heart that although they had said what they wanted to say, neither could deny that they had not discuss all that needed be said. But determined as they were to be friends again, the two man walked, chatted, laughed, and played among the game stalls until they were quite content of where they stood to each other.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Lady Natsu loved the idea of a "haunted castle" and bemoaned that she did not get to experienced it. She pouted for a good minute until her brother announced the possibility of the crew coming to Orion for the festival. She cheered up considerably as she started recounting as to who among her friends would loved it, hated it, protested not to be scare but would be scare halfway through. This prompt her brother to wonder how Lord Tobio would react. Oh, Kageyama would no doubt froze over, his lordship exclaimed. He probably would even claimed how he was not scare at the beginning. Oikawa would do the same, though he was more likely to scream in fright than Kageyama. But if it was really scary or unexpected Kageyama would scream too (at this point, his lordship gave off a manic grin). Thus, the two siblings schemed.</p><p>Bokuto too was taken in by the fun of what a haunted house would bring. Once again Atsumu wondered what his lordship, her ladyship, and Bokuto found fun or pleasurable of being frightened to death. But then, those three belonged to the same flock of feathers.</p><p>Kita stood by, listening as the he finished his tea of bubbles - from time to time he would looked over to the siblings who had taken refuge under a large beech tree. Not too far but not too close so the siblings could have their private conversation - which meant the same could be said for Atsumu.</p><p>"Bokuto, ya know that half-burned conservatory at the bottom of the hill?" Atsumu asked. He tried to keep his voice low. Unfortunately, he was talking to Bokuto whose idea of whisper was equivalent to a blaring horn.</p><p>"Yeah!" Bokuto shouted prompting Atsumu to hiss at him to be quiet. He looked over his shoulder but the siblings must had been used to Bokuto because neither looked up.</p><p>"Well, that charlatan wanted to use it as a backdrop of his haunted scam but Lord Shouyou got really quiet and glare at the guy for even asking. I thought the guy was gonna drop dead or somethin'. Ya know what's that 'bout?"</p><p>"Oh," Bokuto said and unusually became a bit subdued. He too looked at the siblings before looking back at Atsumu.</p><p>"They didn't tell you, the Karasuno staff?" Now this was serious for Bokuto was actually whispering.</p><p>"'Bout what?" Atsumu asked eagerly.</p><p>"Their father - he died there."</p><p>Atsumu could not stop the gasp from sounding out of his mouth. Kita too looked shock (at least by his standard as the man simply widen his eyes).</p><p>"Always thought he died a natural causes from the way they talked 'bout him." Atsumu muttered. "So he got burned?"</p><p>Bokuto shook his head and paused to think something over. "He didn't die from the fire - that was an accident. He was killed by a robber who broke in thinking the house was empty. He was stabbed."</p><p>"Stabbed," Atsumu repeated (Kit's eyes were wider).</p><p>Bokuto nodded gravelly. "When the police looked over the place, or what's left of it, they found that the rooms were ransacked. Lord Shouyou and Daichi had claimed some stuff were missing too. So the police think the fire was the robber's attempt to hide evidence."</p><p>"Did they found who did it?"</p><p>"Nope, they got away."</p><p>Not a very happy ending and not a shadow Atsumu expected for the cheerful lot that was the Hinatas to bear. Not wanting to dwell on such unhappy thoughts, Atsumu turned the conversation over to Bokuto's employment with the Kageyamas.</p><p>"Ya just started working last year? I thought ya had been in the manor longer," Atsumu stated.</p><p>"Nope, I used to work for the Oikawas in the capital. Started working there since I was sixteen with Kuroo. I was footman there too."</p><p>"Musta been a big transition from city to country," Kita noted.</p><p>"I am okay. The country is lot cleaner, wider and I have lots of free time here. The people are nicer too."</p><p>"Why ya move here?" Atsumu asked.</p><p>If Bokuto looked subdued a minute ago, he now looked very twitchy; he started tapping his fingers against his thigh and he was bouncing at the toes of his feet. His eyes looking at every where that was not Kita or Atsumu's eyes.</p><p>"Oh, um. There were too many servants in Aobajohsai (the family home of the Oikawas) and well, Lord Kageyama was looking for a footman and ... Madame Oikawa suggested me ... He like me soooooo here I am! Ah, there's the stall I was looking for! I couldn't find it at first. Do you want anything?"</p><p>Both Atsumu and Kita gave a negative and Bokuto ran off.</p><p>"Well, that's a man with a secret," Atsumu muttered. "Do ya think-"</p><p>"No, whatever ya thinking of, stop. It's not ya business," Kita stated.</p><p>"But ya know what they say about those who work in the Manor. That they're all criminals!"</p><p>Lord Kageyama was a famous criminal lawyer in his younger days and held the title of Supreme Judge before his retirement into country life where he was most admired, respected, and loved.  But one could not help but muttered about his taste in his staff, one of whom many claimed had appeared in the national newspaper for participating in a kidnapping of a young girl from a very rich family. That person had long since died but Orion still insisted that every person who so much as wear the Kageyama livery had a criminal record. The two vipers of the kitchen maid had found this very appealing in addition to the Manor staff's good looks.</p><p>When Atsumu first learned of this he had laughed because he could not see sweet, kind Sugawara or Bokuto or even air-headed Lev committing any heinous crime will ill intent. But then he definitely could see Yaku gutting someone just for the heck of it. And Bokuto did had the tendency to be rough without meaning to and Sugawara had his chaotic, maniacal moments - so Atsumu suppose it was not unlikely for the Manor staff to have some sort of a shady past.</p><p>"Don't matter. It's Bokuto's decision to tell us why he changed employment so don't bother him," Kita replied. When Atsumu tried to make an argument against it, his former tutor successfully stared him down (despite being a head shorter than him) and shut him up on the subject - for now.</p><p>"Cesario," his lordship called over. "Come tell Natsu about the apparition and how real it looked. You had screamed so loudly that I thought my ears might pop off."</p><p>"It wasn't a scream, I tripped and yelped," Atsumu insisted, his face flushing a bit as the embarrassing memory came to him.</p><p>His lordship shrugged. "Still hurt my ears."</p><p>"Well, yer ladyship, when the 'ghost' appeared, his lordship jumped into my arms and held it so tight that I thought <em>he</em> was gonna pop them off. That's why I scream." Atsumu grinned when his lordship's smile changed into a small pout as Lady Natsu laughed out loud and started teasing her brother of being a scary cat.</p><p>"Isn't talking like that above yer station?" Kita asked suddenly.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"As a valet, ya can't talk back like that," Kita said. "Didn't ya said ya wanna be a good one?"</p><p>"Well, yeah," Atsumu floundered. "But his lordship said he don't mind so..." At lost for words, Atsumu simply shrugged.</p><p>"So yer talking again. All misunderstanding communicated and clarified?"</p><p>"Like ya didn't plan this," Atsumu muttered defensively. Although he was not upset, not when the outcome had been so favorable, but he so hate to admit Kita was right - especially since his former tutor was right about everything.</p><p>Kita merely nod his head. "So do ya know where ya both stand this time?"</p><p>Lord Shouyou had let out a yelp for his sister had started tickling him.</p><p>"<em>I</em> <em>always thought that if I care about someone, they need to know. No point in hiding it; life is too short to not act on feelings, right</em>?" Atsumu whispered in <em>Lan</em>, he did not want to be overheard.  "<em>But</em> ... <em>Osamu once told me that it's better to hide what you are feeling, than get in trouble for it. When you said what you said, you can't take it back. His lordship told me he wanted to be my friend. I wanted say I did not, that I wanted more than that - but I didn't. Because I don't want him to be distant again. I hated it. Hated that he won't look at me, won't talked to me; pretended that I don't exist. He do not returned my feelings - I can see it in his eyes. And if he wanted me, it's only temporary. And ya know how greedy I am - I don't want a short live romance, I wanted more than that. But if I pushed my feeling on him, he might avoid me again or I might upset him. I don't want to do that. I want him to be happy - even if it's not because of me</em>."</p><p>"<em>I think you make him happy, in your own way</em>."</p><p>"<em>As a friend. I don't mind that - I want to be his friend. It's better than being a stranger or just being his servant. I want to be his friend for as long as I can. I rather be that than a short-term beau</em>."</p><p>"<em>That's mature of you</em>."</p><p>Atsumu gave off a humorless chuckle. "Gotta grow up, don't I?"</p><p>And on that note, he walked toward the siblings for Lady Natsu was calling him over to hear his thoughts on the haunted house scam.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>The journey back was a quiet affair with Lady Natsu and Kita asleep - the young lady was slumped on the gardener's shoulder who slept steel straight with his head hanging slightly forward. Bokuto hummed a cheerful tone, breathing out a chorus from time to time.</p><p>Atsumu spend most of the journey in conversation with Lord Shouyou. There was silence from time to time but unlike the morning, they were not awkward or tensed with forced hostility. They had finally returned to the easiness of their relationship before the music room with the added knowledge of the high regard each had for the other's opinion. Thus, opinions were frankly given - agreements were jovial and disagreement were coolly tolerated with neither backing down (not that they thought the other would but it was fun to try). Bokuto gave his two cents on certain topic; his booming voice was a reminder to the two men that they were not completely alone. But once they entered a subject that Bokuto had no say or thought, the two found themselves so immerse in each other's voice and ideas that they might as well be the only two people left in the world. What escaped their notice was that Bokuto had stopped placing himself to their talk half an hour into the travel - the Manor footman had became aware that he was an unwanted presence and not wanting to be a nuisance to his lordship and to Cesario (who had became a dear friend of his regardless of the young man's somewhat-antisocial tendency), Bokuto kept to his singing and his daydream of tonight dinner (Fukunaga's food were after all a taste of heaven).</p><p>However, the happy conversation took a depressing turn once they passed through the main street of Orion and came upon the hill. The trees parted to reveal the conservatory and not for the first time, Atsumu could not suppressed a shiver at the sight. He had always found the building creepy and now he had a story to back up his feeling of unease. The building despite being known as the "conservatory" was a small two stories brick house with a glassed greenhouse perturbing out to the west. Even from the distant, Atsumu could see the missing roof and he knew that most of the glasses were missing in the greenhouse.</p><p>"I should have that knocked down," his lordship suddenly said. There was a small smile on his face that did not matched his eyes - which coolly stared at the broken walls before turning to Atsumu. In a blink, the cool eyes were a warm double suns but the chill remained.</p><p>"It looks haunted," Atsumu blurted and he groaned inside. This was probably the last thing his lordship wanted to be remained of. But Lord Shouyou laughed.</p><p>"It does, doesn't it! It's even creepier at night - one time I had to go to Marton for business and returned very late." His lordship's grin turned mysterious and he lowered his voice into a gasping level. "And it was on a full moon night. As I climb this hill, the blackened walls of the abandoned building rose over the trees till it towered over me as if Death had taken on a physical form."</p><p>"Ya good at this - ya should write them down. Made a good reading," Atsumu grinned. "So why didn't ya tore it down?"</p><p>"Sentiments, I suppose."</p><p>"It's that why ya didn't want the charlatan using it?"</p><p>"No, it's unsafe - part of the roof had fallen down and the wood had rotten so if anyone walk on the first floor, they might fall through. It's really an accident waiting to happen. <em>Charlatan</em>? You really don't like him, do you?"</p><p><em>I don't like that he look at you as a sack of money</em>, Atsumu thought. Instead, he said, "He won't stop suckin' up to ya. It was pathetic."</p><p>"He's a businessman, those people are expected to be flatterer - you need not worry for me, I am used to it... my father die there, did you know that?"</p><p>"Yeah, just found out today." What more should he say? Should he gave his condolences even though it had been two years or was it better to ignore it? It turned out there was no need, Lord Shouyou wanted to talk - he had not lied of wanting a friend to talk to, to share one's thoughts with. And so he talked, in a whisper, about the work his father did and how he spend more time inside the burned building than he did at Karasuno with his wife and children. The entire time, his eyes swung between the nearing conservatory and the sleeping face of Lady Natsu. There was a tremor in his voice that Atsumu recognized as suppressed anger - the anger one tried to bury only to realize that it was next to impossible because there was still so much one wanted to argue, complain, and protest. Atsumu could only guessed what it could be because no one at Karasuno liked talking about the man even the two vipers in the kitchen ( but then those two started in Karasuno last year so any talk from them was more conjectures and rumor-based). And the man had hurt Mistress Hinata enough for her son, her son who was so bright, so kind, talked of him in cold indifference that could not masked the shimmering anger.</p><p>Atsumu understood that. His own father had been laid underground only eight months ago in the most brutal fashion but he felt nothing, no sadness, no cry for vengeance over it. Only satisfaction that the man got what he deserved. It was a terrible thing for a son to think of one's father but the man had been more of a distant benefactor who visited from time to time. His father had loved Atsumu's mother very much but he could barely gave two wits of his own sons - his bastard sons. To think Atsumu had thought they were free of the man only for him to appear from beyond the grave and upturned their life with a single paper- which started the whole mess.</p><p>Atsumu told his lordship a very condensed version of this (minus the mentions of his brother, who his father really was, and what the paper consisted of). Nothing brought two people together than their mutual hatred toward their distant, might as well be non-existence paternal figure and their affection toward their own mothers who had taught them perseverance, assertiveness, and goodwill. Although Mistress Hinata had more luck in raising a kind son than Chika Miya had - Atsumu had not been an easy child to raise (in addition to the circumstances of his and his brother birth) and he felt sorry for all the trouble and headache he had given her due to his insensitivity and immaturity.</p><p>The carriage gave a gentle rumble as it took a turn and the blacken walls of the ill-fallen building was hidden by the trees again.</p><p>"I'm glad" - his lordship gave him a soft smile -" that we are speaking again."</p><p>Momentary stunned, Atsumu returned a similar smile, his heart melting like wax, and said, "me too."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Whew! This is a very long chapter ( the longest I have written for this fic) - Chapter 4 and Chapter 3 were originally one chapter but I felt that the Marton Fete deserve its own chapter because of all the events and information it contains.<br/>Originally Part One and Part Two were eight chapters each but since I added a plot point in this chapter, I have to increase Part One to ten chapters. And because I love parallelism, Part Two become ten chapters as well. Part Three is now eight chapters ( in addition to the prologue and epilogue, if I ever choose to do the epilogue). Thus, here is my explanation of the chapters increase.<br/>I have also made some edits in previous chapters for example, in the last chapter, Atsumu and Kita were studying Celestian Aristocracy not Astorian Aristocracy, which was what I had originally written.<br/>Also thank you to everyone who had been following along so far!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 5</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>-six days before the Summer Festival- </em>
</p><p>Lord Tobio returned on a bright afternoon with much less fanfare than he did a week ago. He arrived by carriage packed to the brim with luggages of which the majority belonged to Sir Oikawa (Lord Shouyou would later whispered to Atsumu that it was a miracle both men arrived with their limbs attached as the cousins were known to not get along. "But Kageyama looked like he was at his wits end holding himself back from strangling Oikawa," his lordship had laughed). However, this time Atsumu could not sneak away to witness the welcome for Daichi had him learning the uses of various forks and spoons under the watchful eyes of Ennoshita, who was well on his ways on becoming the second Daichi.</p><p>There had been a change as to who Atsumu's mentor was for a telegram arrived for Sakusa yesterday morning from his cousin. The telegram urgently requested Sakusa to come home for his father's illness had taken a turn for the worst. Sakusa was not even aware his father was ill as his family had hid it from him for they knew how he felt about sicknesses and germs but it seems that his father would not last long and he wanted to see his only son one last time.  According to Aihara, Sakusa was deeply shaken but determined. Mistress Hinata was told and permission was given - Sakusa packed up and left yesterday evening (Atsumu and his company had missed him by a minute) with a Manor staff who was on his way to Marton for an errand. There, his cousin was to meet him and they would journeyed to Mador, where with any luck, Sakusa's father would still be present to welcome him.</p><p>It was strange walking around the house without the gloom-and-doom presence of Sakusa and Atsumu reluctantly admitted that he missed the man - only because it was a bit boring going about the day with no one to tease or annoy. Sakusa was his favorite target  because that man had no qualms keeping his insults to himself which meant  Atsumu had no guilt, if he had any, talking back at him. But Atsumu could not say he missed Sakusa's teaching style.</p><p>Ennoshita, as the first footman, was to be Lord Shouyou's valet in Sakusa's absent, which was not surprising. What was surprising was that Daichi had called Astumu to his office to inform him that he was to start wearing his valet uniform. Not that he was the official valet, simply the fact that he would started practicing under Ennoshita. Atsumu was to shadow the first footman so he would see how things were done. He had been unsure as to how Lord Shouyou would reacted to having two people in the room as he undressed and dressed but his lordship had laughed and said it won't be the first time - now <em>that</em> was something for Atsumu to mule over as he did his kitchen duties of the day. In addition to all this, Ennoshita was to prep Atsumu on how to serve dinner for there was a strong possibility of another hand needed.</p><p>For someone Atsumu had thought to be a push over, Ennoshita was proving to be a very strict - while still patient- teacher. He was not easily swayed by Atsumu's antics nor was he willing to let Atsumu off easy when he made a mistake that could easily not be one.</p><p>"You are a fast learner,  I'm sure you will get a hang of this in no time. "</p><p>"Really?" Atsumu asked as he and Ennoshita cleared up so the kitchen maids could lay out the servant luncheon. He could not help but think it was a bit ridiculous; in Astoria, they only had one utensil for eating and another for soup - there was no difference if you were eating fish or chicken. But apparently in Celeste, your social class was determined by you knowing what spoon to use for salad, fish, pork, soup, and dessert. He told Ennoshita as much. The first-footman-turned-valet simply laughed.</p><p>"We like to be a bit complicated."</p><p>"This isn't complicated, it's a whole ritual. In A- I know in Astoria, only the royal family had to do this, not the nobilities."</p><p>Once again, Ennoshita could only chuckled. Then, he paused and gave Atsumu a look.</p><p>"What?" Atsumu asked a bit put out by how analytical Ennoshita looked - it was vaguely like Kita's and Daichi's that he was not sure what to do with this information.</p><p>"I am just thinking how lively you are now."</p><p>"What do ya mean?"</p><p>"Well," Ennoshita placed the last spoon into the drawer and closed it. "I'm not saying you are happier or smiling more but it's like you are more motivated and purposeful. You are doing your work not because you were asked to but because you want to, if that make sense. When you first got here, you were kind of like a leaf in a wind, floating where ever the wind blow without much care or thought. But now, you are choosing the direction. Sakusa noticed it too, he told me that you were a bit easier to teach now."</p><p>"Ohhhh, Omi-Omi said that, did he?" Atsumu could not stop the grin from appearing on his face as he imagined what he will do when the valet returned.</p><p>"Sakusa may not say it but he is glad you were taking his lesson seriously for he don't want to feel like he was wasting his time giving them much thought or preparation. And he also see it a bit strange that you are so determined and so attentive to his words when it was obvious you disagree with him. Regardless he is still glad."</p><p>Ennoshita had a sleepy disposition that from time to time Atsumu wondered if he was awake or even aware of his surroundings. However, moments like these, Atsumu was reminded that for all his quietness and plainness, Ennoshita was an observant fellow who was more aware of what happened in the house. No doubt, he was the one who reported to Daichi of these happenings. Not to mention, there was this aura surrounding Ennoshita at times that showed he was capable of more - it was a pity the man never worked on it. A sudden thought entered Atsumu's mind that had his inside squirmed with nerves - what else had Ennoshita noticed? What else had Atsumu given away without realizing?</p><p>"Daichi better watch out cause somebody's gonna take his job," Atsumu couldn't help saying.</p><p>Ennoshita looked down, his shoulder sagged a bit as if a weight was dropped onto him. "I won't go that far. Daichi is miles above me; he is a better, more accomplished, honorable man. I can never take his job."</p><p>There was a hint of bitterness in Ennoshita's voice that was surprising.</p><p>"So," Atsumu started, unable to stand the first footman's slow fall into defeatism, "you really thing I can do this? The valet position?"</p><p>"Of course, why else would Daichi consider having you in uniform now?" Ennoshita easily replied and Atsumu could not stop a smile from blossoming. The first footman returned it with a smaller version of his own- the bitterness no longer there.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>With Lord Shouyou's birthday being less than a week away - not to mention the Summer Festival- Karasuno House braced itself for a week worth of preparations. The first of these was the welcome dinner that was scheduled the evening of Lord Tobio and Sir Oikawa's arrival. Mistress Hinata had taken the initiative to host the dinner at Karasuno so Lord Kageyama could prepared the garden party scheduled later that week.</p><p>In addition to the Hinatas, the Kageyamas, and Sir Oikawa, two other dinner parties were invited. The first of which was a Mrs. Tsubaki who was the paragon of the nagging aunty who was in everyone's business and had an opinion for everything under the sun. Unfortunately, she was a friend of the mistress's late mother and Mistress Hinata did not have the heart - or had too big of a heart- to drive the old woman away. She had known the children since they were born and it seem rude not to invite her. Lord Shouyou had groaned when he learned of the guest list and Atsumu could understand the sentiment. He had heard enough to know that he rather be stuck in a room with ten screaming children than spend a minute in her presence.</p><p>Kei Tsukishima, the youngest son of the family lawyer and a friend of his lordship, was the other guest. He was similar to Sakusa in regard to how much his presence made Atsumu's skin prickled with a need to annoy the heck out of him. Which was fortunate that Atsumu never met the man in person but he had heard enough of him from his lordship and seen enough of him around the house to know that Tsukishima was not one to give his all on things he found not worth giving - which included everything Lord Shouyou found interesting and worth giving.  It was a strange friendship with how much Tsukishima tried to wrote off his lordship's call of companionship but at the end of the day, Tsukishima was always at the manor with a snark remark ready at his lordship's expense. Atsumu wondered how Lord Tobio fit in to all this.</p><p>Not that Atsumu would know firsthand as he was still considered too new to actually serve that night - beside with Daichi, Ennoshita, Nishinoya, Kinoshita, and Narita, dinner was in safe hands. If dinner existed in the first place.</p><p>Saeko was out of the powered cinnamon and it was the main ingredient of the night dessert - she intended for Fujiko get some but the stable cat had gotten into the kitchen and was trying his luck with the bread while the stove decided to throw a fit ("Of all days, it had to be today," Saeko said to Yui over the dark smoke). </p><p>Thus, Atsumu was given the task of running to the store and getting the spice along with some extra ingredient that didn't made it to the week order. He was proud to say that he got to the store without meeting a single dead end and had gotten the materials in record time. Therefore, Atsumu decided to stroll down the street, taking in the sight of what the town had in preparation for the festival. </p><p>Every gas lamps were embellished with streamers and a banner hang on every other one - it was more elaborate around the town center in which red and yellow banners connected the lamps from each side of the street thus it felt like a long tent had been erected. Only one street remained uncovered and that was the one in which the Sun parade ( one at the start and one at the end of the four days festival) would go through. The parade was one of the highlights of the festival as ithad floats and people wearing colorful costumes with masks. Atsumu noticed that some of the houses had placed empty barrels or stone basins decorated with sashes and paints; this was where flowers - especially sunflowers- would be placed. He wondered if there would be a place left for the game and food stalls and he supposed that they would be located in the area around the park. A stage was being constructed in front of the town hall - at the center was a stone structure. Based on the poster, this would be where the fire - that symbolized the solstice- would be lit and burn for the duration of the festival. </p><p><em>Woah, its really is a big thing</em>, Atsumu thought. He won't want to walk around town during the four days as he imagined the size of the crowd. Spirits help those poor devils.</p><p>Deciding to bypass even more construction he entered a narrow street that Tanaka had once showed him that would take him directly to the edge of Karasuno hill. However, just as he was going to turn a corner, an unfamiliar voiced sounded from one of the hidden arches.  </p><p>"You haven't been answering his letters. He told me."</p><p>It was not this voice - guff, deep, serious -but the one that followed that stopped Atsumu short.  </p><p>"I don't want to talk about it." Never before had Atsumu heard Bokuto sounded so serious - so lacking of good humor or cheer. It was unnerving . Wanting to be sure it was indeed Bokuto and not his evil doppelganger, Atsumu took a small peek around the corner. Bokuto's wild hair of black stripes over the whites were easily recognizable - he was leaning against the wall, his shoulder slumped forward. Atsumu could almost see his spike-like hair leaning downward as if in response to his mood. However, due to the shadows created by the surrounding buildings, Atsumu could not made out who the first voice belong to.</p><p>"You rather talk back at the Manor? Suga told me you volunteer to go to town so I know you are trying to hide from me." The first man stated.</p><p>"Why are you so determined?"</p><p>"Because you are being stupidly stubborn. Goddess, you look miserable. <em>He</em> looked miserable - all you've to do is answer some letter. They won't find out."</p><p>"But they will! They always do - people like them have spies everywhere ... How is he?"</p><p>The man gave off a frustrated sigh and Atsumu thought he might not answered the question but he was proven wrong. "He's doing well. It wasn't easy - changing from one life to another but he's getting there. Lord Tobio had been helping him so that's something; the young lord was quite taken with him. He's making new friends too - he told me about this Lysonian guy he met who apparently make the best rice dishes."</p><p><em>Lord Tobio? So this man's familiar with the Manor - who is he? A new servant?</em> Atsumu wondered.</p><p>"He does love rice." Bokuto chuckled. It was a sad sound that made the hair at the back of Atsumu's neck stand. What a terrible sound to hear on such a sunny day. "He have a good life now. I'm not going to ruin that."</p><p>"But he's not really happy." There was a sound of rustling as the man grabbed Bokuto's shoulder, probably to emphasize his point. "It's just one letter - let him know that you are well, that you are happy with your new position, and that everyone here is treating you well. That's all he wants to know. He's not waiting for a love letter."</p><p>"<em>You</em> tell him. He'll believe you."</p><p>"He rather hear it from you. Do you know he feel guilty over what happened? He believe it's his fault you have to move here."</p><p>"It's not."</p><p>"Then write to him and tell him that."</p><p>"I can't."</p><p>Finally realizing that he was eavesdropping into Bokuto's private affairs and this was something friends don't do to each other ( not that Atsumu thought of Bokuto as his friend, but the wild-haired man child insisted they were and arguing with him was so tiring), Atsumu took a step back. He did not want to imagine the chaos his day would be if Bokuto found out - what would he do? Pout and be depressed over Atsumu's snooping habits? Finally grew a petty bone and stop trying to hang out with Atsumu (why did that thought made his heart thump uncomfortably)? But then if Bokuto didn't wanted people to not know he shouldn't be talking about it in the middle of a street; even if said street was currently deserted and rarely used but still.</p><p>However, before Atsumu could made his decision, he realized how quiet the street had gotten. Taking another peek, he found the arch empty. </p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>That evening, while the Hinatas and their guests welcomed Lord Tobio and Sir Oikawa to Orion with dinner oversaw by the head butler and his four footmen, Bokuto and Suga visited the servant common room with Kuroo, Sir Oikawa's valet.</p><p>Bokuto was noticeable less talkative and every Karasuno staff felt the effect of it. Never before had Bokuto's presence been so ... unassuming. Before it was either too loud or too gloomy as the man never bother to hide his various mood swings and Karasuno had learned to go with it. But now he might as well be another chair to the servant table for how he leaned his head on his elbows and signed in a soft whisper every ten minutes. His booming laughter that never failed to bring smiles on his surrounding seatmates or his bright countenance that rivaled his lordship's and the sun was non-existent.</p><p>Atsumu really wanted to ask Bokuto about what he had overheard but that would open a can of worm he was unprepared to face.  So he had taken to poking the man a bit and when Bokuto failed to respond, Atsumu reluctantly turned to Kuroo, who had gathered a crowd around him for he was describing about the recent travel Sir Oikawa - and he- had taken.</p><p>There was no doubt that the voice Atsumu had heard in the alleyway was Kuroo's. But the man was not what he had expected. He had imagined a tall, well-packed man  with a heavy scowl that could made a baby cry at first sight. What he got was a man with an unfortunate hairstyle that resembled a rooster and a grin that reminded one of a black cat lounging about on a garden wall on a sunny day. There was something shady of his manner despite his friendly greetings that it wouldn't be surprising if he started selling stolen pocket watches he kept hidden in his jacket. Though from time to time, Kuroo would take a break from his grin and looked over at Bokuto - the worry was obvious and Atsumu wondered if Kuroo and Suga had brought the man over to cheer him up.</p><p>"Bokuto is now Lord Tobio's valet! Aren't you excited? You were practically bouncing with joy last night." Suga said with a smile that was as refreshing as the morning dew after a hot night. But Bokuto did not replied for he only signed and sank lower into the table.</p><p>They should had left him behind, for this was too painful to watch.</p><p>"Woah, seriously? Cesario, you won't be so lonely after all!" Tanaka inputted - the dense, considerate person he was.</p><p>This had Suga asking Atsumu how his training was going which then led to talks about Sakusa ( a change of subject Atsumu did not appreciate) and how his father must be doing. Hopefully, Sakusa had made it in time. Sickness are so scary, weren't they? This last question was asked by Suga who was giving Bokuto a hard glance. Still no response.</p><p>"Say - Cesario is it?" Kuroo suddenly called out, bringing Atsumu away from his talk with Suga.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Have you been to the capital?"</p><p>"Nay, why ya ask?"</p><p>"Cause I feels like I've seen you before."</p><p>"Must have one of those faces," Atsumu quickly said.</p><p>"Hmmm, maybe ... but your face is not that common."</p><p>"Nope, it is. Ask anyone here, they'll tell ya I never been to the capital." He then got up to get some water to hide his trembling fingers and removed himself from Kuroo and Suga's curious stares. </p><p><em>What did he mean I look familiar</em>? Did Kuroo recognized him?</p><p>Sir Oikawa's mother was a diplomat who had visited Astoria numerous times and Kita had learned from Bokuto yesterday that Sir Oikawa had traveled there two times for his studies. As his valet, Kuroo haad gone with him. However, both Atsumu and Kita had decided it would be impossible for Sir Oikawa to have known of Atsumu or Osamu. For one thing the twins rarely leaved the confine of the manor they lived in and for another, they took more after their mother than their father in appearance. Of course there were talks of his father's <em>twins</em> <em>bastards </em>but since Cesario was an only child, Kuroo should not suspected him.</p><p>No, Kuroo must had mistaken him for someone - that was the only explanation. Besides, the valet did not seem too bothered by it as he started describing in colorful details of an alumni party at the university Lord Tobio recently graduated from that had ended in a drunken spectacle to a laughing, engaged crowd.</p><p>"Wait, isn't he the one who's been bullying Lord Tobio?" Chizuru asked as Suga named the drunkard.</p><p>"The very one," Suga replied.</p><p>"He's not a good person so he deserved what he got, of course," - a sly smile graced Kuroo's face- "it was a pity Lord Tobio was not there to see it to the end. He disappeared half way through the fiasco."</p><p>Aihara looked very intrigued by this and Atsumu stopped pretending to be uninterested by giving the two Manor valets his full attention.</p><p>"Now, now, Kuroo, don't go around spreading tall tales," Suga said in a tone that clearly indicated he wanted to be the one doing the telling.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Aihara demanded.</p><p>"After all, he hates dances so he probably went to bed early," Suga continued.</p><p>" But you know Lord Tobio always attended these functions because that is what his mother expected of him. Something about how a Kageyama should fulfill their social duties by being present and all that "- Kuroo rolled his eyes- "but this is the first time he actually left. I saw him slipped out to the garden. "</p><p><em>Why?</em> Atsumu thought of which Tanaka and Aihara voiced.</p><p>" You know there have been talks that even Lord Kageyama heard from over here," Suga said.</p><p>"What 'talks'" Atsumu, Tanaka, and Aihara shouted. </p><p>At that very moment, Nishinoya noisy entered the room exclaiming he knew what the subject of Lord Kageyama and Lord Tobio's argument a few days earlier was about. Immediately, everyone started giving their two cent of what the subject could be.</p><p>"Is it cause the young lord's part of a gang?"</p><p>"It's a lover! It have to be it!"</p><p>"He's caught dabbling with illegal stuff?"</p><p>"Bad grades!" Atsumu shouted; everyone, including Bokuto, looked at him in disbelief ( although Bokuto's face reminded unchanged). "What? He<em>was </em>a student."</p><p>It seems that Ms. Tsubaki had a cousin who had a friend who had a son, who lived at the capital, whose best friend's second cousin once removed ( "That's a lot of connections," Atsumu muttered to  Suga) had a drink with a floor butler who worked for the same university who had seen the young lord left the party with someone - the floor butler swore that that someone was a staff member of the university too!</p><p>"Why's Lord Kageyama bother by that? I mean so what if he young lord is spending time with a servant, what's wrong with that?" Chizuru asked.</p><p>"Sasaki, you are too sweet sometimes," Aihara laughed. "It's his lover, wasn't it?"</p><p>"Yup," Nishinoya grinned. "Apparently, the young lord wanted to make it public or serious or something , I don't really know what but Lord Kageyama was against it."</p><p>"Lord Kageyama admitted to this?" Suga asked doubtfully. But neither he nor Kuroo was stopping the talks so the Karasuno staff took it as confirmation it was true. </p><p>"Not really, but he and Lord Tobio got really quiet when Ms. Tsubaki started talking about it and when she asked the young lord about the lover - Lord Tobio was so surprised he couldn't even answer. Lord Kageyama started talking about not discussing and - you should had seen the young lord- he actually glared at his grandpa and said that it's true; the man was his lover! Of course, his grandfather was - "</p><p>"Lord Shouyou! What did he do- what did he say?" Atsumu quickly asked as he could knew how devastating this news must been. Nothing was more heartbreaking than a love unreturned and given to another. </p><p>"Umm, don't know. His back was to me so I don't know. Ennoshita might, you could ask him."</p><p>"Is this what 'the talks' about?" Tanaka asked, turning to Kuroo who was listening with that cat-like grin of his.</p><p>"On no," the valet replied, "'the talk' was that the drunken fiasco was a prank started by Lord Tobio and he escaped before the professors found out. But this is <em>far</em> more interesting."</p><p>"So you have nothing more to say?" Aihara asked. "Does Sir Oikawa know about this?" </p><p>Once again,  Kuroo only grinned, "who knows."</p><p><em>He's enjoying this</em>, Atsumu thought which meant he, and by extension Sir Oikawa, knew far more about this. He wondered if this was the real reason Sir Oikawa came this summer - after all that man was not a frequent visitor of the area. Maybe he was sent here to keep an eye on his cousin. Atsumu could not deny how delicious this talk was but he could not enjoyed it to its full extent as he knew the other party hurt by this revelation. A broken heart can be hard to bear and Atsumu did not wish it on Lord Shouyou - especially not in front of his love, his family, his servants, and everyone else.</p><p>When Daichi arrived into the room, everyone stood up in respect including Kuroo, much to Atsumu's surprise. The head butler gave a small wave and they all sat down except Nishinoya, who gave a frighten nod at the thunderous look from Daichi before he ran to the kitchen.</p><p>"I see you're still running a tight ship as usual," Kuroo greeted.</p><p>"And I see you are as helpful as usual," Daichi replied with a small grin. Then, he noticed Bokuto. "Is Bokuto feeling well? He looks... very un-Bokuto."</p><p>"Kuroo decided to be an insensitive git today," Suga signed. Kuroo gave a helpless shrug as if to say his hands were tied at Daichi's unimpressed glare.</p><p>No longer able to hold his curiosity in, Atsumu asked Suga if they all knew each other. To which the answer was an affirmative as Kuroo, Bokuto, Daichi and Suga all hailed from the same town. There was a fifth name mention - a Mr. Kenma- but he did not entered service and currently lived not far from Orion as an assistant of some-kind to a law firm.</p><p>"I left first for service," Suga explained, "and I believe Daichi, Bokuto, and Kuroo left at the same time but Daichi was never a big city person so he found work here rather than go with Bokuto and Kuroo to the capital."</p><p>"Were ya working at the Manor when he arrived?"</p><p>"Oh no, I was working for another family until I switch jobs. Daichi was the one who found me this position. That and Lord Kageyama is a very generous master." <em>Not unlike Bokuto's story</em>, Atsumu noted. " Funny how life can be, don't you think? That the four of us will be under the same roof."</p><p>"Yeah but the world's not <em>that</em> small."</p><p>"Hmmm, in the world of servitude and nobilities, it is a small world."</p><p>Well, if that didn't sound ominous, Atsumu don't know what does.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>
  <em>It was a beautiful lunch and Osamu gasped aloud when he saw it. Atsumu too but he tried to hide it by giving off an air of maturity. They turned nine that day and Atsumu had decided he no longer wanted to be treated like a kid. He told Aran this; his friend had rolled his eyes and said, "than don't act like one." So Atsumu took it to heart and set on being mature ( he was after all a few minutes older than Osamu so he must acted his age. Osamu also rolled his eyes). </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Their mother was already sitting when Osamu ran to his seat, Atsumu walking after him. However, even his wish of maturity could not stop Atsumu from making a fuss about his soup. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Dear, its rude to be picky 'bout yer food," his mother scolded.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But it's bitter!" Atsumu let out his tongue to prove his point. "It's bad."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Even so, ya shouldn't complain too much especially since Cook did her best for yer birthday."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ma, I really, really don't like this. It's so bad!" In a fit of anger, Atsumu pushed his soup away causing it to spill over other dishes. Osamu gave out a scandalous gasp but Atsumu barely noticed. He folded his arms and stuck his nose in the air in a show of defiance. His mother was not happy and told Atsumu that if he did not apologize he would not eat the rest of his lunch. Atsumu may be hungry but he was also angry that no one believed him so he stayed as he were. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Until a small pain appeared in his stomach. He tried to held it in, but the pain increased and Atsumu could not help but gave out a moan. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What now?" His mother asked. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>" I don't feel goooooood."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Okay then, go lay down."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But Atsumu had not barely taken a step until an even more intense pain shot through him and he stumbled. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Atsumu - Atsumu! Guards! Osamu, put that food down. Don't touch anything! Guards!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Tsumu?" Osamu's voice sounded near but just as distant. Someone was touching his forehead but it was nothing, <span class="u">nothing</span> compare to the pain in his stomach. Nausea invaded his sense and he started to gag. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Guards! Don't worry, Osamu, dear, yer brother's fine - it's just a stomachache. He'll be alright."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The last thing Atsumu remembered before he lost consciousness was his brother's voice. </em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Atsumu awaken with a loud gasp as he sat up. His entire chest heaving like he had ran a marathon. His body hot and sticky as he sweated bullets. The dream - the memory - filled his head as his mother and Osamu's voices mingled with his own gasps. He hadn't thought of that day, or any other day of similar events, for a long time. </p><p>His room wasa furnace and its four walls were slowly closing in; his chest twitched with an itch that he couldn't reached because it was deep within that had him aching to shred his skin; his breathing shorter, quicker, harsher that his head swim as if it was suspended in the middle of a glass container of water. Without a second thought, Atsumu stood up, not bothering with a bathrobe or slippers, he ran out of his room; out of the servants quarters until he was in downstairs; passed the kitchen; and was out the back door.</p><p>The night air was a cool towel over his damped forehead - soothing away the scorches of his dream. The moon was his nurse, lighting his way to the crates where he took a seat. He leaned on his thighs as he took a deep breathe through his nose, held it for four seconds, and let it out from his mouth. He repeated the process until his heart steady and his breathing returned to normal.</p><p>The soup had been tainted with poison in which a large amount would killed but a small amount caused intense stomach pain and nausea. It was lucky, the servants had whispered, that the young master only took a slip of it; lucky that the young master was a picky eater, if not, well, it would had been a different story. Atsumu was put to bed rest for a week but by the third day, he had recovered enough to be bored being bedded. Osamu was not allowed to visit him until the fifth day when the healer could say with certainty that the poison had left his system. His mother had been at his side the entire time - holding his hand; comforting him with songs, stories, promises, anything to subdue his pain.</p><p>The thing was the soup was intended for Osamu. Everyone knew how much the younger twin loved food - despite the bitterness of the soup, he would had still ate it. And if he had -</p><p>Atsumu shivered and wrapped his arms around himself from the sudden chill. It was a good thing Atsumu had tried to act mature that day - it was what confused the assassin, disgusted as a server, who had assumed his calm and silent manner as being Osamu. Both brothers had been wearing the same clothes that day and Osamu usually sat at the left side of the table but since the food was plentiful on the right side, he had sat there - leaving Atsumu to take the left. From that day forward, their mother had encouraged the two of them to practice each other mannerism and to swap places from time to time.</p><p>Atsumu and Osamu were born to a world that hated them and the only kindness they knew of were from their mother; Aran, a nobleman whose parents worked under their father; and Kita. They were the only people who wanted the twins alive, the rest could care less about them - and many people wanted them dead. </p><p><em>"Why are ya so damn lucky?"</em> Atsumu's half brother had once screamed at him because that was the only reason why the Miya twins had lived into their adulthood, why Atsumu had lived so far. It was luck that brought Lord Shouyou to him, luck that the people of Karasuno were kind enough to take Atsumu in, luck that no one had recognized Atsumu or Kita ... until now.</p><p>
  <em>"You look familiar."</em>
</p><p>Kuroo's suspicion must had been what triggered Atsumu's memories, must had been what jump-started his nightmare. It had been so long since the fear of discovery hang over Atsumu's head for Orion was too isolated and too inland to be of any importance to Astoria or major cities. He had gotten soft - Karasuno was too much of a bubble, wrapping him in an imagined cloud of comfort and safety that heforgotten he had an uncle who wanted him dead and that any minute, Atsumu 's secret could easily leaked out if the right person saw him. He placed a hand over his heart. He had forgotten this feeling, the feeling of his life hanging by a thread. All it needed was just one person, one person to recognize him and tell his uncle.</p><p>
  <em>"In the world of servitude and nobilities, it is a small world."</em>
</p><p>It was so unfair, just when he was starting to feel content in his new home, with the people in Karasuno, he detected the first sign of an incoming hurricane - ready to uproot everything, flipped away the layers of Cesario until only Atsumu Miya reminded. What will happen to him if Kuroo or Sir Oikawa were to recognize him? What would become of Kita? What would Lord Shouyou say, what would he do? What should <em>he</em> do - should he and Kita leave?</p><p>The thought of leaving Karasuno, leaving Lord Shouyou hit his stomach like a brick and his hand twitch in frustration, pain, and anger - he did not want to leave him, not when they were finally on the same page. He had came to love Karasuno House with its creaky stairs, ridiculous passageways, and his tiny attic room. The thought of no longer egging Tanaka and Nishinoya on their daily serenade of Miss Shimizu; witnessing with Aihara Yui's frustratingly obvious attempt at capturing Daichi's heart; listening to Saeko's stories of her girlhood days; tormenting stupid Sakusa in his spare time; finishing his lessons with Ennoshita; mingling with Bokuto and the Manor staff; seeing how far Lady Natsu had gotten in her archery; talking with his lordship, being by his side. To no longer be a part of the House and all its inhabitants well, you might as well pull out his heart.</p><p>Kita, too, had a home in Karasuno just as much as Atsumu. He was at peace in his gardens where the trees and flowers were his to nurture, love, and enhance. He was friends with Daichi as they would spend some days having tea in the common room and talked about anything and nothing. As much as the people in Orion looked to Atsumu as troublesome, they looked to Kita as a gentle soul who would not let them bullshit their way through life if he could help it. Kita had a life here and like hell was Atsumu going to let something ruined it.</p><p>But maybe they won't have to leave. Maybe Kuroo had simply mistaken Atsumu for someone else, after all there were many Astorian immigrants in the city - perhaps Kuroo was confusing him for someone; didn't he mention a Lysonian fellow when he was talking with Bokuto? Atsumu was over thinking, it wouldn't do him good to rush it - he should discuss this with Kita. If Kita thought it would be problematic, his former tutor would had talked it over that very night. That's right, no need to be reckless and rush.</p><p>Nodding to himself, Atsumu looked up for his legs and he realized that the moon was not his only light source. There were lights coming from one of the windows in which the curtains were not drawn. It was the library. Heart, once again, leaping to his throat, Atsumu thought it might had been an assassin or a robber - the story of Lord Shouyou's father's death came to mind- but he remembered if it were, they would not be stupid enough to light a room thus giving away their position. So it must had been someone from the house.</p><p>Still not wanting to leave it to chance, Atsumu picked up a candle holder that had a broken handle and walked slowly up the stairs. His times spend walking up and down these halls had given him a good sense of where everything was that he did not need light to feel his way to the library.</p><p>The door was open and there was no sound of ransacking so that was a positive. Nonetheless, stance ready, Atsumu crept closer and took a peek. The light was coming from a lamp that was placed on the floor. It was surrounded by a large world map and laying over it, on his front, was -</p><p>"M'lord, whatcha doin' up so late?" Atsumu asked. He had hidden the candle holder behind the table in the hall before entering the room. His lordship looked up in surprise but he relaxed when he saw who it was.</p><p>"I could ask you the same thing." He smiled then his face soften. "Cesario, are you alright? You look so pale."</p><p>"Oh? Yeah, yeah, I'm good." But at the instanced look from his lordship, Atsumu crumbled. He didn't had the energy to hide anyway. "Just had a bad dream, that's all."</p><p>Lord Shouyou hummed as he sat up and criss-crossed his legs.  He patted at the area next to him and Atsumu took the invite to sit down. The glow of the lamp created a sort of barrier, protecting them from the rest of the world. The warmth of it, however, was nothing compare to seeing his lordship's face close by; just seeing those kind eyes, alive with gold, and his bright hair was enough to burn away most of the dream, chaining Atsumu back to reality -to the feel of the soft carpet under him, the light pressure of his nightshirt of his shoulder, the fuzziness under his bare hands and feet.</p><p>"You haven't been having nightmares for a while now," Lord Shouyou whispered, his voice was gentle as if to not disturb the night peace.</p><p>"How didja know that?"</p><p>"When I can't sleep, I usually visit the library. I used to see you and Feste walking around the gardens - even when it was snowing. Sometimes, I see you by yourself."</p><p>"Didn't know that."</p><p>"You know now."</p><p>"That's cause the curtains were open - usually you had them closed, right?"</p><p>"Yes, but the moon was brighter than usually and I thought I could use it along with my lamp."</p><p>Remembering the map, Atsumu asked what it was for and his lordship answered that he was studying it - he found the action relaxing and it was equivalent to a person counting sheep.</p><p>"Didn't know yer big on studyin' the world."</p><p>"Why do you think I ask about Lyson and the places you had been so much?"</p><p>"Cause it's new and exciting."</p><p>"Exactly. I love hearing about other countries - about their manners of life, how they view the world; how the world works with all these different countries, different beliefs, different views. It a big, big world. I could study for my entire life time and only touch the surface." His lordship lightly slide his finger over the width of Astoria, through the Southern sea and into the heart of Celeste. "I felt that if I am to live here for the rest of my life, at least I want to learn as much of the world as I can."</p><p>What a sad wish - to have the world at one's finger tip but to never see it.</p><p>"Why didn't ya leave?" At his lordship's confused expression Atsumu expanded his question.  "Ya of age. Ya can go anywhere - no one can stop ya so why don't ya just leave? See the world as ya wanted." Atsumu immediately wished he did not ask for Lord Shouyou gave a rueful smile, a smile filled with longing.</p><p>"See the world, now that's a thought." Lord Shouyou sighed as he uncrossed his feet and lay them out in front of him, his hands slid behind him as he looked up to the ceiling. "Do you know that Madame Oikawa had once ask me to be her assistant in her travels? I had studied international relations and diplomacy so she thought that I could learn better if I were to taste it firsthand. I wanted that so much." His eyes were not seeing the ceiling - with its impressive carvings and wood work- he was seeing something beyond that, beyond the stars, the moon. Then, it all clashed down as he bite his lips; it was as if he was reeling himself in - stopping himself from taking flight. "I could hardly believe it when she said it but -  but I couldn't. I am my mother's first child and the lord of this manor - I have a duty to the people who lived on this land and see to it that they are provided for as they have provided for me and my family. E-especially now with mother being ill. Although the Doctor Yachi stated that she is mending far better than she expected but ..." </p><p>A light breeze flew by causing the twigs of the bushes to tap against the window panels and the grandfather clock ticked the seconds away. Atsumu wanted to take his lordship's hand, wanted to take him into his arm - to tell him to be selfish, to take the leap and fly ...</p><p>"Can't ya be lord of the manor and still be a diplomat's assistant? That's what Madame Oikawa's doin' - she's the head of the family but she barely lived in her house all year 'round. Suga told me."</p><p>Lord Shouyou closed his eyes and took a deep breath; why did it feel like the shutting of a gate?</p><p>"I can't do that - I can't ... leave mother alone," he whispered.</p><p><em>Can't</em> or <em>won't</em> because the former indicated an inevitable while the latter indicated a choice.</p><p>"Do you miss it?" Lord Shouyou suddenly asked. "The sea - traveling?"</p><p>Atsumu mimicked his lordship's movement but instead of leaning on his hands, he laid on the floor; he folded his hands behind his head. Did he miss traveling? Being free was what his lordship meant. But the thing was Atsumu was never freed. From the moment he was born, there was a chain around his neck that had him looking over his shoulder at every corner, second-guessing everyone's words, and chewing his food with more thought than normal. No, freedom was an illusion his mother had bestow upon him and his ninth birthday destroyed the stage and ripped the curtain, revealing the bars of the gilded cage.</p><p>Karasuno was the most free he had been but he was still trapped.</p><p>"I miss traveling," Atsumu confessed - missed the animosity of being a nobody. Cesario had so far helped him with it but even actors must leave their characters and walked off the stage. When would Cesario's time be up and Atsumu Miya's  began again? Kita was of the belief that Atsumu Miya had been boxed up and buried. Perhaps that was true, perhaps Atsumu Miya was truly, equivocally dead? Because if it was up to Atsumu Miya, he wouldn't be laying on the library carpet talking about dreams and cages, he wouldn't have taken his lordship's bid for friendship in the fete nor would he had taken being viewed as the second man so easily without a fight. Except Atsumu Miya would defiantly listened in on private conversations that was not his to know, he would without a doubt lie his way through life if it meant he could live in peace. "I miss not having to stay in one place too long - always moving but it ... it can be tiring, always moving. Ya never really know what's at the end and ya never really lay down root, never made long-lasting friendship and stuff. Ya never - never really got to know who ya really are."</p><p>Sounds of paper and clothes against the carpet and Lord Shouyou was laying on his side, looking up at him. Once again, Atsumu followed along so that they were eye to eye.</p><p>"I am the opposite. I feel that being trapped in one place meant that you never know your limits, never really know the extent of your determination - the extent of what you can be." Lord Shouyou frowned a bit as he mulled a thought over. " We're a pair of lost sou - no, I don't like that... A pair of clipped birds - who had flown but now could not."</p><p>"I wanna be a fox," Atsumu grinned - a hint of teasing.</p><p>"Fine, a clipped crow and a boxed fox," Lord Shouyou signed - the teasing returned. "But why you want to be bound to the earth I will never understand."</p><p>"Hey, fox are cunnin' creatures who know how to survive. Why ya wanna be a bird - flippin' all day. Won't ya get tired."</p><p>"Tired but worth it." But then his lordship was frowning again. "I'm sorry. I wanted to distract you from your dream but I made this talk take an upsetting turn."</p><p>Atsumu's hand lifted up to crease his lordship' s cheek but he changed course and simply waved his hand over his own head. His finger tingled at the missed sensation and his mind happily filled in the blank. "Nay, I like this - depressing as hell, but good to know I'm not the only one havin' deep thoughts at one in the morning."</p><p>Lord Shouyou laughed. "Very well then, we must talk about something cheerful but equally deep thoughts."</p><p>"Can deep thoughts be cheerful?" Atsumu frowned in mock concentration.</p><p>"Yes. For example, the sunflower blooms to its fullest in the summer because it's the longest days of the year."</p><p>"But that meant it have no control and is dependent on the sun which ain't a good thing."</p><p>"Now, you're being sad on purpose!"</p><p>The next minutes they spend going over the map because for all his longing, Lord Shouyou loved to talk of his study especially to an eager party who had a lot to say and whose filter was non-existent. He had so much to say,so much to ask and to think Atsumu thought he knew nothing of the outside world. Lord Shouyou may think he failed in distracting Atsumu but the dream was now a faded painting whose paints had melted into a shallow pool revealing a blank canvas. How could he ever felt unsafe when he was around his lordship?</p><p>That being said, there was something that was still bothering him.</p><p>"M'lord-"</p><p>"I wish you would call me 'Shouyou' again.  I miss hearing my name in your voice."</p><p>Well, there goes his heart and his mind for Atsumu did not know how to reply to that. "Right ... so m'lord ( Lord Shouyou pouted but said no more) the reason why ya up this late, is it cause of Lord Tobio?"</p><p>His lordship's hand twitched but continued on its path around Kahr on the map. "I suppose you all heard downstairs."</p><p>"Nishinoya could barely keep still 'bout it."</p><p>"Neither could Tsukishima or Oikawa, both of them won't stop tormenting Kageyama. Trying to get him to tell more - who the man was, where they met, if he was still seeing him.  Well, Tsukishima was more in disbelief but I think Oikawa already know and was enjoying being able to talk about it. I don't think Kageyama intended to reveal it at dinner but Ms. Tsubaki was so insisted and Lord Kageyama, well... he was a bit dismissive. Can't say I believe either."</p><p>"Are yer alright?"</p><p>"I don't know... I feel discontented." At Atsumu's encouraging looks, Lord Shouyou continued. "I never thought Kageyama would fall in love - he had had a lover before, I know that but this one was different. I could tell - he was so - so defensive toward Lord Kageyama but..." His lordship stopped and glanced at Atsumu before looking away.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"It's nothing..."</p><p>"Can't be, ya got something ya wanna say - just say it. Yall feel better."</p><p>"No, if I said it... you will think badly of me."</p><p>Atsumu laughed. "I already thought badly of ya many times but I'm still here. So out with it. Nothing wrong with being jealous."</p><p>A pause as the clock strike one and chimed disapproving at the two men whose beds were not inciting enough to roll up the map and blew the candle out. Then -</p><p>"It's not that I am jealous - it's that,  I always thought that if Kageyama don't love me back, I will be happy knowing that at least he love no one else." He once again looked up as if in preparation of a scolding. But it only made Atsumu want to take him into his arm again.</p><p>"So ya human after all. Of course ya want him to be yer's, and only yer's - who won't want that?"</p><p>Lord Shoyou only blinked at him - a curious expression appeared on his face and he opened his mouth, only to close it as he looked away with a frown. A sense of deja vu came over Atsumu and he felt an opportunity missed.  But what ever it was, it must had been unimportant for his lordship was now giving a soft smile and said, "you are right."</p><p>Atsumu wished Lord Shouyou did not do that for a poison was growing inside him since the dinner party. He had been happy, elated knowing that Lord Tobio was attached to someone else for this meant that his lordship's love was unrequited. And unrequited love meant a new love was possible. Atsumu had a chance now.</p><p><em>What a hypocrite</em>, he thought in disgust. For all his resolve to be his lordship's friend, he found himself wrestling down the need to confess, to ask Lord Shouyou to take him, to look at him, to have him because Atsumu would never made him feel unloved.</p><p>His lordship had returned to the map and thus, Atsumu's inner tremor was unnoticed. He took a few seconds to breathe deeply to calm his selfish thoughts but it was like feeding birdseed to pigeons, it just kept on coming until the path was obstructed and Atsumu was trapped. So he needed a loud bang to escape. </p><p>"Why don't ya make him fall in love with ya?" Atsumu voiced. His lordship tipped his head in confusion.</p><p>"Did you miss the part of Kageyama being in love with his secret lover?"</p><p>"But the man's not here, is he? Isn't there a saying 'bout how distance make the love weaker or something?"</p><p>"It makes heart fonder."</p><p>Okay then, wrong saying but the point must be made. "Whatever, but ya had a chance now. Made him see what he's missing out without ya!"</p><p>"If Kageyama never saw it before, I doubt he will see it now."</p><p>"Right, cause ya had been tryin' to confess to him for years," Atsumu said, why was his lordship so against this? "Look, ya said that ya didn't think he would ever fall in love, but he obviously does so now all ya gotta do is romance him, be there for him, made him see what a catch ya are. Sides, ya both engaged to each other so ya do-"</p><p>"Wait," Lord Shouyou slammed his hands onto the floor and leaned toward Atsumu,  "what do you mean engaged? How are we engaged? Who told you that?"</p><p><em>Oh damn</em>.</p><p>"Umm ... that's what I overheard Mistress and Daichi talkin' 'bout... the other day. She never told you?"</p><p>"No, she hasn't. I can't - how could she do this and not tell me?" For someone who found out he was to marry his love of his life, Lord Shouyou looked quite upset. Though, Atsumu supposed if he were to find out of his own engagement from a friend than the arranging party or the fiance he would be upset too. Come to think of it, did Lord Tobio knew of the engagement?</p><p>"Even so, how am I suppose to" - Lord Shouyou rolled his eyes- "romance him? Should I send him flowers?"</p><p>"I will help you!" And plunged a knife through his own heart while he was at it. At a skeptic raise of his lordship's eyebrow, Atsumu carried on. "I knew these things and I 'ad help couples together before."</p><p>"Really?" An even deeper raise of skepticism.</p><p>"I have! Cause of me a lady's maid's now happily married with the former chauffeur of  - eh, of an estate that I was living near in Lyson." Atsumu cleared his throat. True, all he did was deliver a note the maid wrote (of which he thought she was asking the man to drive her somewhere not marry her) but he truly believed his involvement was a big help. There was also the matter of Kita and Aran, if Atsumu had never asked Aran if he like someone, in Kita's presence, he was sure those two idiots would not had talk about their feelings toward each other - ignoring the fact that he asked the question in mind of setting Aran up with another person but that did not matter. (Osamu made sure to tell Aran of Atsumu's original plans and Aran had told Atsumu to never make a career out of match-making, he was more likely to cause a separation). "The point is, Lord Tobio's the man for yer - ya decided that, right?"</p><p>Atsumu had excepted an immediate response so the hesitation surprised him. It was only three seconds but it was a very loud three seconds -</p><p>"Yes, yes, I ... I have decided that," his lordship said - it was more of a whisper. He looked at down at his interlaced fingers and at the world map. "I suppose this is a good way to know ..." A curious, thoughtful expression appeared before he looked up. "You're sure you want to do this?"</p><p><em>About as much as I want to slam the library door on my hands</em>, Atsumu thought- but that would had hurt even less then what he was putting himself into. "Yup," he said with so much enthusiasm that he wrinkled the edge of the map with his fist. </p><p>But it must had been believable for his lordship sat up straight and, with a bright smile, said, "very well then, when should we start?"</p><p>Atsumu smiled which was equivalent to pulling a boulder uphill. He was not part of this love story and the better he understood it, the better his life would be. At least Lord Shouyou would be happy and damn if Atsumu was going to let his lordship's chance of happiness slipped through his fingers.</p><p>"Right now."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 6</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>-five days before the Summer Festival-</em>
</p><p>Every love story began with a love letter - at least according to a book Atsumu once picked up and skimmed through. He no longer remembered what the title was or what it consisted of but that one line had stayed with him.  And so he told his lordship that he should write a love letter to Lord Tobio. Lord Shouyou had been apprehensive of the suggestion.</p><p>For one thing he did not like the idea of putting his feelings on paper. "What if someone found it and read it?" his lordship had exclaimed. It was a reasonable worry but Atsumu highly doubt Lord Tobio would leave a letter of such personal nature laying around. The look that Lord Shouyou gave him beg to differ. The second reason was that his lordship did not believed Lord Tobio would had understood the confession ("All these words will go over his head. Better to do a verbal confession - that way there is no room for confusion," he had sighed). But Atsumu had been insisted- " A love letter creates an air of mystery - it's something he can look over again and again and he will see how on paper - the physical proof- of how much ya want him!" Finally Lord Shouyou relented ( more out of the fact that it was very late and he, himself, was very curious as to what Cesario had in plan for the letter) and they decided to meet in the library after breakfast to draft the letter ( Mistress Hinata was to leave immediately for a visit to a friend living in the next town and Lady Natsu had archery lessons thus the room would be unused). With this decided and hands shook, the two men went to their respective beds where they laid for an hour awake as they thought over what had transpired, what was promised, what was to occur in the next few days and the logics behind it all. One groaned at his foolishness while the other sighed in resignation.  </p><p>Not surprising, Atsumu awaken three hours later with a pounding on his left temple and the world swimming in his eyes. Coffee was a temporarily relief but Kita's disapproving gaze did more to extract a promise to never sleep late ever again. Of course, Kita was not the only one to notice. Ennoshita wondered aloud to Atsumu how tired his lordship seem this morning and did <em>Cesario</em> had <em>any</em> idea as to <em>why</em>. Atsumu was proud to say he did not take the bait and calmly asked why should he know. The raised eyebrow and the pointed look at his second coffee of the day was obvious enough but Ennoshita knew when to fold his cards. Even so, Atsumu was sure Daichi would be told and thus Mistress Hinata.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>The library was a beautiful room and any bookworm worth their salt would loved to spend their entire life there. It took up two floors and could be entered from either the first and second floor, thus if one felt the urge to go to the library they need not walk down a flight of stairs. The second floor of the library consisted only of shelves, which were embed into the walls and a walkway with railings embellished with voluptuous bronze branches and leaves. The middle was an open space that overlooked the first floor; a spiral staircase at both end of the room were the only between the two floors. While three walls held books, the fourth consisted of five high windows that adequately lighted the room in addition to the marble fireplace that sat opposite of said windows and the flowered, bronze lamps that hang on the walls. Last night, the room had seemed to go on forever with only Lord Shouyou's lamp as the only source of security and warmth but in daylight, the room seem to be both large and cramped.</p><p>One section of the shelves consisted of documents and materials relating to the estate and Orion while the rest of the room was owned by the wild romances of the southern islands, the dark mysteries of Celestian cities, the terrains of horror that stretched from the Elder Sea to the Northern Ocean - written mostly in Celestian <em>Toria</em> with some <em>Lan</em> and <em>Kull</em>. Atsumu had been delighted to find some books written in Astorian <em>Toria</em> even if the books were more political and historical-based. It was like standing on stable grounds during a hurricane to be able to understand what was written and not feel like a fool trying to mouth every syllable and struggling to remember if a character meant 'field' or 'land' or 'earth.'</p><p>But even the beauty of the room could not withstand the horror Atsumu underwent when he read Lord Shouyou's first attempt of a love letter. He greatly regretted not bringing a third coffee because Lord Shouyou was proving to be an inadequate poet and an aggravating writer of love. His letter consisted of five pages, front and back (Atsumu had been most surprised). But quantity did not equate quality for the letter was all over the place. Lord Shouyou had began with a simple confession that quickly spiraled into a list of all the time Lord Tobio should had notice his feelings but did not; then he started talking about a funny anecdote that had absolutely nothing to do with said feelings; he also praised various other people while noting how Lord Tobio differ from each and every one of them. Atsumu was sure three-fourth in, his lordship had forgotten the purpose of the letter for he ended it with "<em>And how have life been treating you? Write to me soon, Sincerely, Shouyou Hinata</em>."</p><p>"What are ya trying to say?" Atsumu finally asked because his other comment was far longer and far ruder.</p><p>"Isn't it obvious?" His lordship asked with wide eyes. "I thought I made my point very clear here," - he pointed to the first line of the letter- "There is no room for confusion or miscommunication. Oh, before I forget, I should write Kageyama's name too so he don't think it's for someone else."</p><p>"No room for <em>confusion</em>?" Forget being subtle, this was a very serious issue. "Ya spend a page talkin' about the time a horse went missing and another page and a half, yer praising Sir Oikawa to high heaven because he taught ya a sword technique that Lord Tobio was, and I quote, 'stingy' to show ya. This isn't a love letter, this is ya dumping every grievances ya had 'gainst him. And what does Tsukishima hafta do with all this?"</p><p>"Well, while I was writing I remember Tsukishima mentioned a quote from a poem; I couldn't remember the exact wording but I like is so I tried to paint the picture of the moment so that Kageyama would remember."</p><p>"Cut it out," Atsumu firmly advised. "Cut it all out. But keep this one, this was good."</p><p>"But that just said, 'Kageyama there is something I need to get off my chest, either wise it might burst, -.'"</p><p>"It's the best of what ya had written."</p><p>Lord Shouyou pouted but he took out a blank sheet of paper and started composing his second draft. Unfortunately, it was more atrocious than the first:</p><p>
  <em>Kageyama, there is something I need to get off my chest, either wise it might burst; I love you very , very much and I forgive you for not noticing. But now that you know, do you love me?</em>
</p><p><em>I forgive you for not noticing, I forgive you for not noticing, I forgive - </em>who the heck write that in a freaking love letter?</p><p>"Are ya even tryin'?" Atsumu groaned. He slammed the note, facing the words downward, onto the table. "Where's the romance?" He was so agitated that he brought his hands up into the air. "Where's the passion, the mystery?"</p><p>"I said, 'I love you.' Isn't that the height of romance?"</p><p>"No, it's not!"</p><p>"Well, I don't see the point in love poems or metaphors. If I love him, won't it be better to just say it. Straight to the point, get it over with, a done deal."</p><p>Atsumu groaned in despair as he slapped his hands onto his face.  "Ya want him to want ya right?"</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>"Then ya need to show him what he's been missing all this time, what ya could bring into his life and be for him. What he's for you. Ya want him to yearn for ya, that's what make love last!" Atsumu exclaimed.</p><p>Lord Shouyou stared at him for a good minute before giving off a small chuckle which ruffled Atsumu's feather.</p><p>"If yer not takin' this seriously then I'm goin'. I've got work to do," Atsumu said as he started getting up.</p><p>"Wait, no." Lord Shouyou's hand grabbed his as he shouted, "don't go, I'm sorry for laughing. It's just, I did not expect this side of you."</p><p>"Whatcha mean by 'this side?'" Atsumu demanded as he ignored the tingles that was traveling throughout his body at his lordship's touch. And it was through two layers of clothing! He could not help but imagined how it would feel skin to skin and he immediately smacked himself in the head. Dangerous, inappropriate thoughts toward a promised man.</p><p>Seeing that Atsumu was not going anywhere, his lordship sat back down but he did not let go.</p><p>"Well, I never imagine you to be a romantic person," Lord Shouyou said simply. "You are just as straightforward as me so I imagine you would be the type to scream 'I love you' to your lover without a second thought and just go from there. But you are more thoughtful and considerate of love and its ... so different from my imagination that I had a moment of whiplash- if that make sense?"</p><p>"Well, ya the same," Atsumu stated. "Thought with all those years of pinnin', ya woulda some love poems and letters layin' round that ya never got to give him. But - ya straightforward too so ya probably didn't write anythin'."</p><p>His lordship snorted, "I think we both agree that poetry is not my strong suit."</p><p>"It's not even an option at this point," Atsumu muttered. His lordship gasped out loud and, in mocked indignant, let go of Atsumu. He was not sure to feel relieve or upset about it but at least he could feel his right hand again. Then, to his dread ( and excitement), Lord Shouyou leaned over the table so he and Atsumu were nose to nose. Once again, citric and chocolate clouded his nose.</p><p>"So," his lordship smiled with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Who had you written to?"</p><p>"What?" Atsumu asked as he slowly leaned away, not wanting to risk his poor heart with more irregular beating pattern and not wanting a rendition of the music room.</p><p>"From the way you talk, it looks as if you have a fair share of experience writing love letters. " His lordship bend closer. " There must had been someone you fancied - how lucky of them. They must had gotten the most considerate, lovely letters. "</p><p>"There ain't anyone else," Atsumu said quickly but couldn't stop the blossoming pride in his heart from the praiss  for indeed people should considerate themselves lucky to have a written letter from him. "I learn 'bout these things for fun. It's boring bein' on a boat all day, ya know."</p><p>"I don't believe you," Lord Shouyou sniffed in a manner very fitting for someone of his class. "I smell a love story here."</p><p>"There isn't one!"</p><p>"Very well. If you are so embarrass by it, you do not have to tell me now. But know that I will have my ears open." His lordship placed each of his hand on his ear and wiggled them; then, he sat back down and returned to his letter ( if one was to call it that). Atsumu was allowed to breathe again but he did not relaxed - chances of his lordship taking a seat on his lap was increasing by the minute and Atsumu did not want to imagine how <em>that</em> would had gone.</p><p>He wondered again of the situation he had placed himself in and determined the possibility of success - for if this morning was an indication, it was going to be a very, very long up-hill battle of a courtship. It really was surprising. Lord Shouyou had no problem praising people, pleasing people, teasing people - the number of people Atsumu witnessed falling a little bit in love with his lordship after a few minutes spend in conversation or over the course of a week was a bit alarming. Especially since Lord Shouyou did it without any thought. But just because his lordship seen to not be aware did not mean he was unaware - it was possible that he was very much conscious of the effect he had on people but never took responsibility of it for it meant having to deal with the consequence.</p><p>Atsumu paused and looked up. His lordship had his tongue peeking out as he was looking upward, tapping his quill on his chin. He gave a start - quickly dipped his quill in the ink bottle and started writing on the paper, his brows screwed in concentration, his tongue sticking to his left then right then left again as his hands scribbled, scribbled, scribbled away. He stopped, read,chuckled, and scribbled some more. There was a smudge of ink on his lordship's left check; Atsumu's fingers twitched and he tightened them to a fist.</p><p>"M'lord," Atsumu said. When his lordship looked up, Atsumu pointed at his own left cheek. His lordship followed the action with his hand and the still-wet ink colored the tips of his fore and middle fingers. Lord Shouyou gasped out loud and started rubbing his cheek till it was pink. Such a person was incapable of malice or deceit and Atsumu discarded the idea immediately.</p><p>But he admitted that while Lord Shouyou had all the qualities of an excellent lover and good husband, these same qualities made him an equally distant lover and a flighty husband if his fiancé was weak-minded, weak-willed, and very giving. But if his fiancé could matched and balanced all these flaws ( and stubbornly met his lordship's pigheadedness head on) than their marriage would be long and happy. Lord Tobio was said to be a very stubborn man; the many talks of the many infamous fights between the two lords meant they were well-matched but there laid the problem.</p><p>From the moment Atsumu had learned of the name of the person who held Lord Shouyou's heart, he had tried to find more of said person's feeling toward his lordship. Everyone - those from the Manor, Karasuno and rest of Orion- all agreed on the fact that his lordship's feelings were unreturned for Lord Tobio regarded Lord Shouyou as first his rival, second his confidant, third his ally, and above all else, his dearest friend - he would had been regarded as a brother if Lord Tobio had not spend eight months of every year away. Thus, Lord Tobio was immune to his lordship's charms for he had build resistance over it after so many years. Then how to make such a man fall in love with someone he never viewed as a romantic partner in the first place? Especially now since Lord Tobio was in love with another.</p><p>And there was the second problem - Atsumu knew nothing about the young lord. Yes, he knew of Lord Tobio being his lordship's friend from since they were twelve when the young lord started visiting the Manor after Lord Kageyama could no longer journey long distance. Yes, he knew of Lord Tobio's short temper, arrogance, and impatienceness just as he knew of his awkwardness, social ineptitude, and seriousness. But Atsumu had learned all this from his lordship, Lady Natsu, and the Karasuno staff. How could he be sure that their views of Lord Tobio was not colored by affection and time? How was he to help his lordship in his quest for Lord Tobio's love  - scheming scenarios, proofreading letters, considering possibilities-  when one half of the match was fill with bias opinions?</p><p>This was why Atsumu had insisted on trying the love letter plan - Lord Shouyou believed that it would not help but what if that was not the case? What if this was what created the first spark of interest? It was new of Lord Shouyou to <em>write</em> about his affection - and if he were to write it in such a way that was both true and vivid - what was to say it would not shake the foundation of Lord Tobio's view of his friend and see him in a new light?</p><p>Also there was something very encouraging of receiving a letter from your love. Despite his earlier disregard over his lordship's first two attempts, Atsumu knew if he were to received such letters from Lord Shouyou, he would had folded them gently and kept them in a box he would open from time to time to read it over and over again to be reminded that he was thought of and loved ( and what horrible penmanship his lordship had but it was adorable all the same).</p><p>Because wasn't that the purpose of a letter? To be told that you were loved and to remember that you were loved- past and present and future.</p><p>The third attempt was much better but stiff and distant, the fourth was very loose and more stream of consciousness - much like the first, the fifth returned to impersonality.</p><p>"I have hit a wall," his lordship frowned and Atsumu could only sighed in agreeance. "I either write too much and lose track of the subject or I write too little and lose my sentiment." Atsumu nodded some more and drank his tea. Between the third and fourth attempt, Lord Shouyou had rang for tea and, thankfully, Narita was the one to bring it up. The footman had given Atsumu a curious glance and took Lord Shouyou's vague explanation of Cesario helping him with some letters with a calm understanding that was clearly misunderstanding the situation. But at least Atsumu knew Narita would not ran his mouth about this as Sakusa had.</p><p>"Maybe ya don't hafta make stuff up," Atsumu said slowly. "Like what ya tryin' to do in the first letter with Tsukishima, ya could quote a poem or something that either ya or Lord Tobio or both of ya like. Use that as the starting point."</p><p>But Lord Shouyou frowned at the suggestion, "You want to bring poetry into this?"</p><p>"Ya the one who started it."</p><p>"I know but it was just a line, but an entire poem - that will only confuse Lord Tobio."</p><p>"Ya not givin' Lord Tobio a lot of credit - isn't he a law student?"</p><p>"Law is different from poetry. Law is uncomplicated as long as you understand the words and phrases while poetry is like Orion's streets. You think you are on the right path but the you saw a similar looking street that just have to be a right one only to come upon a dead end. Your previous journey is gone and you are lost. Poetry is too much work and too complicated for an uncomplicated thing like love."</p><p>Now Atsumu snorted. "Love <em>is</em> complicated, m'lord." For if it were not complicated, Atsumu would not been having a tug-or-war with his greedier instinct for the past hour. "If not, there won't be so many poems, so many books about it."</p><p>"Yes, but it doesn't have to be. We just make it more complicated. It's a feeling and like every feeling, we just need to say and be done with it."</p><p>"I get that - ya right but that's why love's complicated. My brother-" Atsumu stopped short and closed his eyes. This was not a topic he wanted to get into especially since the chances of him sobbing his heart at the end was very high.</p><p>"I didn't know you have a brother." Lord Shouyou said kindly as if he understood he had stumbled onto a treasure trove and was preparing himself for traps.</p><p>"Had. He's dead." Atsumu whispered - leaving no room for questions. Thankfully, his lordship had enough tact and returned back to their previous discussion.</p><p> "So what I am saying is that poetry won't bring out "passion" from Kageyama. It will only confuse him."</p><p>"Oh yeah, then what will?"</p><p>His lordship smiled. "Fencing!"</p><p>"Fencin'?"</p><p>"Fencing. Imagine it. Him and me fencing - getting into the heat of the moment, with every swing of our swords, but not stopping because we know that stopping mean losing. Then, he tripped and I fell over him - and there we are breathing heavily and-"</p><p>"Okay, I get it. Ya don't needa write a freaking novel!" Atsumu wanted to plug his ears and screamed "Neh, neh, neh" - anything to stop the stupid scene from replaying in his mind. But his traitorous mind had to go a mile for a yard, and it was <em>Atsumu</em> fencing with his lordship, not Lord Tobio. Atsumu was the one to fall or his lordship was - regardless they were both on the ground and damn, the summer sun glared down at them but neither of them noticed. Just like their sword fight in the Marton fete, Shouyu was in a loose shirt - very loose - he was breathing hard, his face flushed, his eyes fierce as a beat of sweat slid down his forehead, over his nose, down his cheek, down his neck, over his collarbone, till it disappeared under his shirt-</p><p>"... don't you think?"</p><p>"Yes," Atsumu said, except it came out like a gasp and he froze in horror as his lordship gave him a funny look. He cleared his throat, willed his face not to flushed despite feeling hotter than he was a second ago, and slammed his hand into his cup ... filled with hot tea. Swearing to every spirits from Astoria to Lyson, Atsumu jumped and waved his hand as a dull clatter and thump revealed an overturned cup and a silver spoon on the carpeted floor. His lordship was in tears with laughter</p><p>"So," Atsumu started five minutes later  - his hand now wrapped with a cool towel and the cup placed back on the table- in a tone that clearly indicated that what happened was to never be mentioned again (his lordship snickered), "what we're tryin' to do is gettin' Lord Tobio to notice ya - look at ya different. Doing' thing as ya used to do isn't workin' so ya gotta try something new. The letter's new, so is poetry."</p><p>Lord Shouyou continue to snicker some more before he gained control of his shaking shoulder. "Very well, let's go with your idea since you are so insistent and if that does not work, we will go with mine."</p><p>"Fencin'?"</p><p>"Fencing."</p><p>Understanding the compromise, Atsumu took it. He then looked over the third draft - the better one out of the five- and started pointing out places that would benefit from a quote and phrases that would work much better if his lordship mentioned <em>this</em> instead of <em>that</em>. All this was done with such focus and intensity that one might assumed it was <em>he</em> who was confessing. It was such a pity Atsumu never looked up from the paper, for if he had, he would had seen Lord Shouyou, with his head on his hands, looking at him with the most softest, intimate expression any living person could only dreamed of receiving.</p><p>Was Lord Shouyou aware he was making such a face? It was hard to say for the young man had a confusing day and night featuring the object of his youthful longing and the man sitting in front of him. What he did knew was how envious he was of Kageyama to receive a letter carefully crafted, edited, and tended by Cesario.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>The first time Atsumu and Yaku met,  Atsumu pointed out that Yaku was "too short for a footman" and Yaku commented on Atsumu's eyebrows being as "a bush big enough to hide under." The two privately agreed from then forth that they were not to be good friends. However, the animosity quickly developed into a strange respect in which both acknowledged that the other had <em>some</em> good points but neither could be bother to divulge deep into what those points were. Both were content to see the other as the "asshole who think too highly of himself."</p><p>"Oh, fancy seeing you here," Yaku drawled in a manner that indicated he found opening the back door for Atsumu a waste of his time.</p><p>"Back at ya," Atsumu said in a manner that indicated he found talking to Yaku a waste of his time. "Is the young lord here? I got a letter for him." Yaku made to grab the letter but Atsumu brought it closer to his chest. "His lordship wanted me to deliver to Lord Tobio personally."</p><p>Yaku gave a curious raise of his right brow before letting Atsumu in. Suga appeared from a door on the left, which must led to his office, with a questioning look that Yaku answered.</p><p>"His lordship is in the library. I can take you there," Suga said; he led Atsumu up the stairs and through a door that led to the entrance hall. Atsumu could barely stopped himself from gasping out loud and Suga shot him an amused, understanding look. The hall was a large space with a painted ceiling of angels, birds, and clouds; dark wood walls were adorned with carvings of birds and trees made one feel they were entering an ancient forest.</p><p>"This is the ancestral home of the Kageyamas," Suga narrated as they walked through a door on the other side of the hall that led to a well-lit hallway. The walls here were beige and portraits of the family hang between white marble statues. Through the windows, Atsumu spied the garden that was not as flowered as Kita's but was geometrically aligned and ordered that his former tutor would had approved.</p><p>"Thought the family lived in the capital?"</p><p>"That started only recently. Family homes tend to be country houses such as these while city houses are only meant to be occupied for a short time - such as for the social season- but Lord Kageyama's occupation had him living in the capital often so he converted the house there to be the main living place. It not unusual nowadays, some families rather live closer to the capital and uses their country houses as vacation spots."</p><p>"Ya do this often? Givin' guides of the house," Atsumu wondered.</p><p>"Sometimes, people are curious as to how the Supreme Judge live in his retirement."</p><p>Atsumu snorted. "Couldn't wait till he's dead before snoopin' 'round his life?" He immediately regret saying this but Suga did not seem offended - he simply laughed.</p><p>"Journalists don't wait around to spread scandalous tales of him so it's not surprising people want to come. I always believe it's human nature that we are all too nosy for our own good. Here we are. Wait here while I announce you."</p><p>They had stopped in front of a handsome door made from the same material as the entrance hall walls - the left door had a pack of birds flying over a sun - or was it the moon? While the right had a plant over the same circular object.</p><p>As Suga announced him, Atsumu took a deep breath and reminded himself to not react, to not feel too much, and to be as unemotional as he could be. Think of it as a game, <em>a game in which I am Osamu, if I break character I loose</em>. This was the first time Atsumu was wearing a uniform - footman livery- and the first time he was presenting himself to strangers. Since these were people who knew nothing of him, this was a chance to see how well he had gotten in his self-restraint and professionalism. He wanted to make a good impression and not embarrassed his lordship. He smooth out the letter and held it gently as Suga waved him in.</p><p>While the library of Karasuno house was vertically large, the Manor library was horizontally elongated and much darker as the only source of sunlight was the semi-circular glass room that seem to be protruding out from the library. The glass-like area was filled with plant and among the greens sat Lord Tobio - and his cousin, Sir Oikawa.</p><p>Atsumu cursed in his head as he had hoped to find Lord Tobio alone - he did not think the young lord would like to receive what Atsumu had to say along with the letter in front of an audience.</p><p>The two cousins were sitting around a small table, which held a chess board. Lord Tobio had most of his back to Atsumu and did not react straightaway to Suga's announcement while Sir Oikawa looked up and gave Suga a smile. He only took one glance at Atsumu before looking away which had the latter blistering inside with indignation.</p><p>To calm himself, Atsumu looked at the chess pieces just as Lord Tobio looked around.</p><p>This was the first mistake. For had Atsumu not looked down, he would had seen the changes in Lord Tobio's countenance - his eyes widening, his mouth hanging a bit open, his brows reaching high on his forehead. But then even if Atsumu noticed, he probably won't know what to make of it. But Sir Oikawa noticed and <em>he</em> knew what to make out of it.</p><p>Two years apart, Sir Oikawa and Lord Tobio were only acquainted through family dinners where every aunt, uncle, second cousin twice removed, in-laws who don't know when to shut up would compared the two boys on their appearances, intelligences, schoolings, grades, and statuses. For Sir Oikawa, his good looks, charisma, and popularity was well-looked upon and greatly praise. For Lord Tobio, his good grades, his standing in school, and his intelligence was more praised, more talked about, and more appreciated. Most grievance of all, some member lamented what a pity it was that "Tooru was not a genius" and that "Tobio can be so cold at times." Was it any wonder that the two boys learned to resent each other, Sir Oikawa more than Lord Tobio as they grew into adulthood and attended Shiratorizawa University where one's grade and social standing were everything. Neither could be more aware of their own inferiority than being in the other's presence.</p><p>Oikawa had to put up with his little cousin's moodiness ever since they left the capital. His aunt had written to him asking him to act as chaperone for the rest of the summer since Oikawa had nothing to do and won't it do him some good to visit his grandfather? Oikawa indeed had nothing to do but he rather not spend it with Little Tobio. But his aunt can be very persuasive and Oikawa could not deny his own curiosity over the rumors that were circulating around his cousin. To think Little Tobio would be at the heart of a love affair! And thus Oikawa had packed and sat for two straight days within close proximity to his cousin, during which he had became familiar with Little Tobio's thunderous scowl, impatient growl, and impossible silence. His cousin's mood did not improved and only worsen with last night dinner when Ms. Tsubaki reveled her trump card of a dinner topic. It was hard to determine who was more entertaining to look at: Little Tobio with his slackened face and flustered expression or Shouyou with his large eyes widen in confusion and a small frown in heartbreak or grandfather with his hardened scowl that fell in thunderous silence.</p><p>There was a story here and Oikawa wanted very much to be a part of it but how to gain access to it when being denied of it? Kuroo had not been much of a help as the Karasuno servants were just as surprised by the news of the lover. He had planned to call on Shouyou to see if he had any new information to piece the puzzle together but his cousin arrived to breakfast under dark cloud and Oikawa was left with the annoying job of cheering him up. Why would his grandfather think Oikawa could do a better job at this than Shouyou? And so the two cousins sat for chess because there was low chances of physical injuries unlike fencing and talking was not an option. Thus, Oikawa had prepared himself for a completely mundane day when Suga entered the room and announced Cesario - an unfamiliar name for an equally unfamiliar face. But only to Oikawa, it seems.</p><p>To put it simply, Little Tobio was bewildered and disbelieving as if he could not trust what he was seeing. But that was not all - his cousin was happy! His mouth had curved a bit upward - it was  a small fraction but coming from his cousin, it was a big thing. Especially since it was due to someone else's presence. Thanks to the reflective surfaces of the decoration around him, Oikawa noticed that Tobio's eyes seem to had soften and his hands trembled as if he was controlling himself from standing up ... or running toward the man. Then, Tobio looked back at Oikawa and quickly looked away; all traces of happiness, disbelief, and bewilderment gone - he was stoic little Tobio again.</p><p><em>How interesting</em>, <em>perhaps this trip would not be as tedious as I imagine</em>, Oikawa thought as he returned his attention to the Karasuno servant. Initially, he had not thought much of him. Now, Oikawa looked at the man as he would looked at his client - taking in his posture, his clothing, the air around him, the manner he held him.</p><p> He was a handsome fellow, Oikawa would gave him that, a strong, unexpressive face that would have been more beautiful if he were to smile. Nicely styled hair, strong shoulders, impressive height (probably a bit taller), and, when the man looked up, impenetrable eyes. There was a quiet sort of confidence about him and despite the curiosity he was showcasing, the servant was not giving himself away. His back and shoulder straight; face blank. Oikawa frowned as the grounds of the University came to mind along with the smell of hay. </p><p>"Say, what is your name again?" Sir Oikawa asked, which prompted Atsumu out of his analysis of the chess game.</p><p>"Cesario, m'Lord," Atsumu easily replied.</p><p>"Cesario - now, why do I feel I heard of it somewhere."</p><p>"It's from the Astorian children story of <em>Sir Sebastian and Cesario</em>," Lord Tobio said. Atsumu looked at him in surprise. As far as he could tell, <em>Sir Sebastian and Cesario</em> was not a well-known or well-loved tale in Celeste. The young lord did not struck him as a lover of children stories so where had he came upon the <em>Tales</em>? Probably at the university. Atsumu felt a sense of kinship toward him and let out a favorable smile before returning to apathy.</p><p>"That's right! A friend once mentioned it. But it does not sound like an Astorian name, does it?" Sir Oikawa commented, his eyes slowly looking over Atsumu. It was an unpleasant feeling and it reminded Atsumu of the time when the country police looked at him at the border when he, his brother, Aran, and Kita were escaping. He wondered if Sir Oikawa recognized him as Kuroo did. The lawyer couldn't have heard of him, could he?</p><p>"It's Lysonian. I'm from there. Share a lot with Astoria cause it's our neighbor. It was my mother's favorite story so she named me 'Cesario.'" Atsumu explained. <em>Lies</em>, his mother hated the <em>Tales</em>- said it filled Atsumu and his brother with ridiculous notions of adventure and impossible belief of romance.</p><p>"My, that is love," Sir Oikawa laughed but he continued on staring at Atsumu with narrowed eyes. "It's strange for I feel that I have met you before. Something about your" - Sir Oikawa waved his left hand toward Atsumu- "posture or aura, I suppose."</p><p>Atsumu felt his heart stopped. So Sir Oikawa had recognized him - did he knew? Did he had an inkling of who Atsumu really was?</p><p>"Cousin, you once claimed to have met Hoshiumi before when you had never seen him. You confused him with Yaku, remember?" Lord Tobio reminded, relieving Atsumu from the position of spinning more lies at the drop of a hat.</p><p>"Well," Sir Oikawa sighed as he sat straighter as if to protect himself from the past error, "it was an easy mistake to make."</p><p>"Hoshiumi has white hair, Yaku does not."</p><p>"And you are just so <em>good</em> at remember people, Little Tobio," Sir Oikawa snared. "If I remember correctly, you had once called Headmaster Washijou by the wrong name."</p><p>The young lord flushed, "It was a difficult name."</p><p>"He is the headmaster, every students knew of him."</p><p>"I still think you are mistaking him for someone else," Lord Tobio insisted and then, he turned to Atsumu. "Have you ever been to the Capital?"</p><p>"No," Atsumu immediately answered.</p><p>"Were you an actor or worked in a theater production before?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"And have you ever work in any houses under the Oikawa family or the Kageyama?'</p><p>"No, I'm always at Karasuno." Was it his imagination or did the young lord seem stunned by his answer. However, Lord Tobio went on so it must had been the trick of the light.</p><p>"See!" - Lord Tobio turned back to his cousin with an air of a man who had solved a difficult puzzle - "The two of you were never in the same place to have met - you must be mistaking him for someone else."</p><p>"Hmm, how long have you been a footman?" Sir Oikawa asked.</p><p>"Started today," Atsumu answered carefully.  How much information should he gave? If he were to tell them he had been in Orion for six months would Oikawa noticed how the dates corresponded with the announcement of Atsumu Miya's death in Astoria? Kuroo would no doubt learned of the six months through Bokuto so regardless Sir Oikawa would find out. "Am trainin' to be Lord Shouyou's valet so I won't be a footman long."</p><p>"Congratulation ... and congratulation to Shouyou for such a find." <em>Why did that sound like a threat</em>?  And Sir Oikawa continued on asking about Atsumu's background: what was his previous place of employment (" Was a fisherman"), how did he like Karasuno ("It's fine"), does he travel a lot ("Was a fisherman"), and what he thought of Shouyou ("He's a good employer"). All this time Lord Tobio tried to intervene but his cousin did not pause. There was no doubt Sir Oikawa was an excellent lawyer, the questioning he was placing Atsumu through was nerve-wrecking to say the least. </p><p>Sir Oikawa smiled ( he was always smiling and Atsumu had never seen anything so fake, he wished he could smacked it off), "you are not very talkative are you."</p><p><em>Because it's none of your beeswax, you nosy, squeaky git</em>! Atsumu almost shouted but he took a deep breath and gave Oikawa the most bland face as possible. Atsumu knew that this man was trying to get a raise out of him; Atsumu was an expert in this game to know another expert when he see one. He needed to get out of here, he don't think he could go one more minute of being in Sir Oikawa's presences without cursing at him.</p><p>Finally, Lord Tobio had enough and Atsumu could kiss him in relief when he said, "Se-Cesario, Suga said you had a letter for me. Can I have it?"</p><p>"Yes, m'lord. " Atsumu brought forth the letter and walked toward the young lord.  He hesitated and decided to forgo the short speech he had in mind. "Lord Shouyou hoped to get a reply soon."</p><p>"And you have nothing more to say to me?" Lord Tobio asked, he took hold of the letter but did not pulled it from Atsumu's gasp. The two stood there for a few second holding the letter between them. The young lord's eyes never leaving Atsumu's and Atsumu was a bit stunned by what he saw. There was warmth there that was nonexistent before and it was heavy with something that he could not name but it tugged his heart. Why did the question felt so weighted? Darn it, did Lord Shouyou forgot to tell Atsumu a secret code or something? Some phrase that hint to the content of the letter without Sir Oikawa knowing?</p><p>"All ya need to know is in this letter." Vague but direct, Atsumu mentally patted himself on the back for this as he let go of the letter. The entire time, Sir Oikawa watched them with a smile.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>"He asked for you," Lord Shouyou said later that night. Dinner was over and the library was once again for his lordship's use. The servant dinner would start soon but Atsumu had wanted to know if Lord Tobio had given a replyfor he had visited in the evening. Unfortunately, Atsumu had gone into town on an errand for Daichi so he had no firsthand account of the exchange. The young lord did not stayed for dinner as the he and Sir Oikawa were to dine at an acquaintance's house. Thus, using the cover of bringing his lordship his tea, Atsumu went to the library.</p><p>"Who?" Atsumu asked as he put the tea tray down on his lordship's left; It was the only clear area for the rest of the table was overtaken by books. Taking a peek of an open book, Atsumu could not made out what it said for it was in Celestian <em>Toria</em> but judging by the atlas nearby - he could assumed it was either about travel or diplomacy.</p><p>"Kageyama. What did you say to him?"</p><p>"Dunno, I just gave the letter and left."</p><p>"You must have done something. Kageyama is bad with names and faces yet he remember you, that's something."</p><p>"Nay, think he just remember cause Sir Oikawa was a making a big deal out of recognizin' me and stuff."</p><p>"Recognizing you- Like Kuroo?" His lordship took his tea cup and calmly stirred it as Atsumu stared at him - unsure of how to react or what to say. "Ennoshita told me Kuroo had asked about you - he claimed to have seen you in the capital, I believe."</p><p>"He need his eyes check cause I never been there." Atsumu said, feeling very tired of the subject for the amount of worry it caused him every time.</p><p>"True, I wonder who they mistake you for."</p><p>"Probably for some actor or some stranger. Hey, didja know that your lord know about the <em>Tales</em>?"</p><p>"He's not my lord, Cesario." His lordship frowned. "Really? He never told me when we were growing up ... he must have heard of it at the university."</p><p>Atsumu nodded. "So why did he visit ya? Did he say somethin' 'bout the letter?" He tried to put as much enthusiasm into his voice as he could mustered but his mind was a tempest of worry, trepidation, envy, anxiety, and paranoia. An empty stomach did not help the matter.</p><p>"Oh yes," - here his lordship give a beaming smile that look far too forced-  "You edited the letter well. Too well, in fact, that he did not believe for one moment that I wrote it.  So I told him that you wrote it ... and that you mixed up the letters because you were suppose to give him an invitation to my birthday party."</p><p>"Why did you tell him <em>that</em>?"</p><p>"Because he did not believe me! You were never at the end of his "lawyer stare." Its so intense that you would think he'll kill you if you did not answer his question." Then his lordship patted his hair down and gave a scowl that was a very good imitation of the young lord.</p><p>"Oh, trust me, I know what ya mean." Atsumu said as the memory of the afternoon returned. If Lord Tobio was anything like his cousin, Atsumu could only pity any one placed on the witness stand and be questioned by him. "Wait. Ya told him I wrote the letter - what if he think I wrote it to him!"</p><p>But instead of becoming alarm, Lord Shouyou leaned back and gave a self-satiated chuckle. "Don't worry about that. I have not written his name so he won't think it's for him. Beside I told him you are in a secret relationship with someone your parents disapprove of which is why you were writing letter - genius, right? Oh yes, I also got the letter back." - his lordship took out a folded paper from the drawers- "Its funny, Kageyama looked like he did not want to give it back but when I asked why, he just shoved it to me. So, the plan was a bust."  The chuckle became a cunning smile and he leaned forward. "Which means I was right! The letter did not work."</p><p> So this was what his lordship been wanting to say - rubbing his win over Atsumu. He scowled and a childish part of him wanted to deny the win, make an argument out of it. But he was tired, hungry, and worried. And in all honesty, he had enough of playing matchmaker for the day and perhaps, he was a bit happy it had not worked but he did not want to deluge deep into that.</p><p>"So, fencin' ," Atsumu sighed in defeat.</p><p>"Fencing." Lord Shouyou grinned.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: There is mention of sexual harassment and assault. It is indirectly talk about but for those who find this topic uncomfortable please note that it is near the beginning of the chapter, in the second block, starting with the lines: "Fujiko did not say anything for a while.." and end at "Once again, Atsumu gave his promise but this time with more conviction and understanding."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 7</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>"The two of ya are always together," the guard's son said to Atsumu and Osamu one summer day. Both of them looked at each other, then looked up at the boy whose name neither knew and did not care to ask. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>They said in perfect union, "we're brothers."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The guard's son recoiled as if he was hit and took a step back. He looked down at the two boys, who were a perfect mirror image of each other, looking at him with wide eyes that send another chill down his spine. His friends had once mentioned how weird the twins were but the boy would describe them as otherworldly - there was something untouchable about them, be it the weather or mortality. Maybe it was because of who their father was or perhaps because they were raised in isolation from the rest of Astoria or perhaps it was because of the way they acted as if it was them against the world. </em>
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  <em>"I know ya brothers," the guard's son said because he was a stubborn boy. His friends had dared him to try separating the twins because the young boys wanted to see how the twins would reacted to the separation. "But it's just weird, dontcha think?" </em>
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  <em>Again, the twins looked at each other and turned back to the boy. <span class="u">Foxes</span>, the boy suddenly thought, <span class="u">they must be what fox spirits are like in human-form</span>. </em>
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  <em>One of the twin, the one with the angry eyes, said, "whatcha mean by that?"</em>
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  <em>"Well, its the way ya talk and act - it's like ya don't see yerself as separate people but as a pair. I mean do ya ever spend a minute away from each other?"</em>
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  <em>The twin with the angry eyes rolled his eyes and returned to his game - the gurad's son had lost his interest. The other one, however, the one with the dull eyes frowned.</em>
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  <em>"Tsumu, he said we are weird," he said as he returned to his brother's side, eyes on the game. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He's the weird one," Tsumu snarled. "Didja know he's always peeking at the maids. Caught him doing it once - ma said only weirdo do that." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The guard's son blushed and tried to talk back but the dull one had started talking in agreeance. And just like that, the twins returned back to their world and the boy was left feeling dismissed and humiliated. He thought he was making a bang but he was nothing by a peddle against the stonewall the twins had constructed around themselves - he was just that insignificant. </em>
</p><p><em> <span class="u">After all</span> </em> <em>, Atsumu thought, <span class="u">we are twins. Of</span> <span class="u">course we're always together</span> </em></p><p>
  <em>It was natural for them to understand each other best than anyone else; besides it was not like any of the other kids, apart from Aran, ever really tried to befriend them. For if they had, they would see that the twins did not get along. They were always fighting: who gets what, whose the first to go, who was the best. They were always blaming each other for the smallest inconvenience ("Tsumu, stole my pudding again!") to the largest infringement ("Osamu's the one who kick the statue!"). Each see himself as the best and was angry the other dare to think otherwise. Atsumu certainly did not see himself as part of Osamu if anything he see himself as the leader since he was the first son. Thus, he must be the one to lead and Osamu was to follow. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But the guard's son was right about one thing - the twins were never far apart from each other for longer than an hour. The longest they had been was when Atsumu was poisoned or one became too sick that they needed to be quarantined. It never occurred to the twins that they could lived their lives not next to each other for when they thought of the future there was always some variation of "Atsumu would be there..." or "And Osamu would not leave..." Both groaned and despaired at the thought but when they wondered of future without the other it was so unreal, so unnatural, that they shut it off and pushed it to the very depth of their mind. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It never occurred to them that even though they viewed themselves as separate beings- they were always comparing themselves to each other and living their lives based on what the other was doing and not doing. </em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>-<em>four days before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>Lord Shouyou had an argument with his mother. The staff could hear muffled sounds through the oak wood of the mistress' bedroom door and the stone walls but only Chizuru had been near the area at the time and she was too respectful to eavesdrop at the door as Atsumu or Aihara would had done. But Aihara's relentless questioning got  Chizuru to admit that she had heard <em>some</em> phrases but she was not eavesdropping, mind you; she was simply walking by and had half-mindedly took note of <em>some</em> words.  The first of which was something about an "engagement" and the other was of something needing to "end." (Atsumu had a good idea as to what the former was about and could only guessed for the latter). She could not remember who said what but she was sure that it was Lord Shouyou who had started shouting. The minute he had raised his voice, Chizuru had made herself scarce lest he opened the door and find her on the landing.</p><p>Theories were thrown out as to what pertain the subject of such volatile nature that would had the two friendliest people in the world screaming at each other - especially a mother and son who were very loyal to each other. Thank goodness, Lady Natsu was not home as she had left for a luncheon with a friend. Ennoshita pointed out that this revealed premeditation on Lord Shouyou's part as he was the one who visited his mother's room which meant he was the one who opened the conversation.</p><p>Atsumu had been dumbfounded as his lordship had shown no intention of talking to his mother yesterday or the day before about the engagement and he was even more shock that Lord Shouyou would be upset over it - upset enough to shout at his mother. He had assumed Lord Shouyou's lack of enthusiasm at the news had been more in part of being told of it by Atsumu; privately his lordship must had been jumping of joy. But this argument showed it was not the case. However, what if the "engagement" Chizuru mentioned was not of Lord Shouyou and Lord Tobio but of another matter? If so, what? But if it <em>was</em> about his engagement with Lord Tobio, why did his lordship waited a whole day to confront his mother about it? Yes, Mistress Hinata was busy yesterday but there must had been plenty of times for Lord Shouyou to talk to her - unless, it was like Ennoshita had said, he was waiting for Lady Natsu to not be home. Perhaps he knew an argument was inevitable and he did not want his sister to witness or over hear it.</p><p>Daichi quickly ended anymore talks by reminding everyone of the work that needed to be done and that it was not unusual for a mother and son to argue - even ones as sweet as them. One good thing about the argument was that it opened an avenue that Atsumu had been wanting to talk about but was unsure of how to begin.</p><p>"We haven't have this kind of screaming ever since Lord Hinata passed," Fujiko muttered to Atsumu. He was waiting for Ennoshita to start his training session and had strike up a conversation with Fujiko who was clearing the servant breakfast. This unprompted observation was all Atsumu needed to ask, "His lordship's father ? Ya know yall don't talk much 'bout him. What's he like?"</p><p>Fujiko's hands had trembled and the plates shook but she steadied herself in a timely manner. She looked at Atsumu before looking behind him, no doubt making sure the two vipers of a kitchen maid were not within earshot, before returning to Atsumu.</p><p>"Why you ask? What have you heard?"</p><p>Atsumu shrugged and in a manner of carelessness, he leaned against the wall. "Just that he died two years ago and he was not a good father ... or a good husband. But never got any details on what's he was like as an employer."</p><p>"It's just like you said, he was an absent one - never seen his face" - Fujiko gave a bitter snort- "never show his face till he's ..." She bit her lips before continuing, "you know he's not a good man, right?"</p><p>"Yeah, " Atsumu said slowly - there was something in Fujiko's countenance that told of something big, much bigger than he had anticipated. "Kinda got that since none have nothin' good to say 'bout him."</p><p>"That's cause there is nothing good to say about him." This part came out in a rush as she was afraid of being overheard.  But remembering herself, Fujiko cleared her throat and looked behind Atsumu again. "He's not- you won't repeat what I say to anyone, will you?"</p><p>Atsumu gave his promise, after all who could he talked to? He had no acquaintances beyond Karasuno and the Manor. And he was sure most of the staff of both houses already knew what kind of man Lord Hinata was. He stepped closer to Fujiko and started placing the plates, forks, and cups onto her tray.</p><p>"You really won't?"</p><p>"Nay."</p><p>"I don't want Sawamura or Mistress to think I'm spreading things."</p><p>"Come on, I've been here six months now. Ya know I won't betray Mistress or Lord Shouyou. Daichi would kill me."</p><p>Fujiko did not say anything for a while and Atsumu was astonished at the amount of patience he was exhibiting for if it were a month ago, he would had bit her head off for not talking.</p><p>"He's been with other - women, if you know what I mean."</p><p>Atsumu had guessed as much as he remembered Lord Shouyou's bitter face but most lords had mistresses or lovers ( Atsumu was, after all, a product of such affair) but why was Fujiko saying it like it was a world-ending secret? Then a thought -a horrible, disgusting thought -came to mind and Atsumu quickly looked around to ensure they were truly alone before asking, "Did he- I mean- to ya, did he-"</p><p>Fujiko quickly shook her head which was lightly flushed. No, she was only a kitchen maid and thus beneath the lord's notice ( this was said with such relief that one might think she had a knife directed at her back but Atsumu supposed it was no different). However, there were others  who had been subjected to such - attention, if one was to call it that. She would not named names and Atsumu did not ask. The very thought was turning his stomach; he regretted ever entering this conversation and asking Fujiko to relieve it. Did Mistress Hinata knew? Of course she knew; when she found out she was most unhappy, disgusted, and tormented ( not for her husband, any love she had for him had died not long after Lady Natsu's birth). They had a row and so frenzy the mistress was that she had him leave the house, <em>her house</em>, and to live in the conservatory as she started on the proceedings for the divorce.</p><p>Except the divorce was never needed for two weeks later, Lord Hinata was stabbed in a robbery gone wrong and his body burned to crisp (Fujiko's tone made it clear she saw it as retribution at its finest). Lord Shouyou was twenty years old at the time and he was told; Lady Natsu was only eleven, she was never told and everyone ensured she was never to know.</p><p><em>Sentiments</em>, Lord Shouyou had said was the reason why the conservatory was never tore down but Atsumu now wondered if it was some kind of revenge, a mockery on the man who his lordship had the misfortune to call his father.</p><p>"That's why we don't talk about him," Fujiko repeated. This time it was stronger and more purposeful. "He was not a good man and man like him don't deserve to be remember. And that's why I am telling you now so you don't go around asking others. The Mistress don't deserve that so don't go telling anyone this."</p><p>Once again, Atsumu gave his promise but this time with more conviction and understanding.  What seem like a juicy gossip had spiral into a lesson on restraint and compassion - some things were better left alone and nothing good from turning it up.</p><p>Ennoshita arrived not long after and Atsumu was taken to the storage room to look over the silverware. Before he left, Atsumu gave Fujiko a kind smile - one he rarely gave- and patted her back in what felt like an inadequate comfort for the memories he unwittingly made her go through.  He resolved to be kinder to her and to the other maids - yes, even the two vipers in the kitchen.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Lord Shouyou was a picture of smile and energy - the argument with his mother forgotten or hidden underneath the beautiful blue sky in which summer had benevolently allowed a cool breeze to fly through. Fujiko's story rang in Atsumu's mind and he found he had no stomach to question his lordship about the argument. If his lordship wanted to talk of it, Atsumu would listen; if he wanted to go about his day pretending it never happen, Atsumu would not argue. </p><p>Lord Kageyama had invited the family for tea and Lord Shouyou used it to issue his challenge. Lord Tobio took it up without a second thought. Thus, Atsumu and his lordship arrived to the back garden of the Manor to see a wide space prepared for said match. Lord Tobio and Bokuto were already there (Mistress Hinata and Ms. Shimizu went inside the house to drink tea with Lord Kageyama and Sir Oikawa, both of whom had decided to skip watching the match, one they had seen hundred times before, and enjoyed each other's companies).</p><p>As they walked across the field, Atsumu looked over the hedges that led to the Manor garden. The night before, Lord Shouyou had explained his plan to use the fencing match to get Lord Tobio into a secluded area in the garden while Atsumu distracted anyone nearby by leading them away from said area. Then, his lordship would fake an accident in which he would "twisted" his ankle. Thus, Lord Tobio must carry him back to the Manor. Lord Shouyou said this with such relish and excitement that he jumped up from his desk, picked up the two ceremonial swords on the library wall, and acted out his plan. He had Atsumu be Lord Tobio while he was himself. </p><p>Atsumu made a jab about how his lordship's first priority was to get Lord Tobio below his eye level. Lord Shouyou smiled sweetly and proceed to take a swing at Atsumu. He easily blocked it but the angle of the swing meant that Atsumu had to kneel down to do so.</p><p>Still smiling sweetly, Lord Shouyou said, "well, that was easy."</p><p>He loomed over Atsumu, who growled and made to get up but his lordship restricted his movement by putting more pressure on to his sword, pushing Atsumu back toward the wall. Lord Shouyou, the sneaky bastard that he was, had made sure they were standing close to the wall when he was reciting his plans.</p><p>"So I'll get him into a similar position as this but with a tree against him."</p><p>"Sure ya can do this? I don't think Lord Tobio's gonna stand around as ya take a swing at him!" Atsumu spitted out as his legs cried at the prolonged strain but he made no move to get up or fight back. Lord Shouyou was surely waiting for such a response and Atsumu refused to be predictable.</p><p>"And then," his lordship continued cheerfully as if Atsumu had not spoken, "I will hold this position a bit longer and get close to him, like this" - He pressed forward and so that his nose was almost touching Atsumu's; their breaths mingled as the library became drastically hotter and the aches in Atsumu's legs became secondary to the pressing hardness of the wall, the electrifying tingles of his arms, the overwhelming scent of citrus, and the need to press his lips against his lordship's. </p><p>Why the fuck were his lordship's eyes so bright when there was only the candle light to illuminate the room? Where did the gold came from? And why was Atsumu having difficulties dragging air into his lungs and out?</p><p>"What novel ya get <em>this</em> idea from?" Atsumu breathed out as he looked over his lordship's shoulder. The break from Lord Shouyou's eyes made the closeness a bit bearable but the scent of citrus was still overpowering.</p><p>"Hey! " - Atsumu could envisioned Lord Shouyou's cheeks widening as he pouted- "This is a hundred percent original idea, I came up with it from our fight at the fete! Besides what I am saying is that I am going to use this to get Kageyama flustered cause he will. And he will be so shocked that he will push me away. And I will fall," -after staying still for a second more, his lordship let go and fake falling onto his bottom. Atsumu's lungs were functional again- "and I will pretend to twist my ankle as I did. He will feel so guilty that he <em>have</em> to carry me back!"</p><p>"How ya gonna explain when ya can walk again an hour later?"</p><p>A manic smile overtook the sweetness as his lordship said, "I won't. I will simply get up and started walking back to Karasuno. Of course, I will give him a look before I leave and say something so simply yet so flirty that will leave him confused and he will spend the whole day thinking it over. It's like you said, right? Something to see me in a different light!" He ended his explanation with a flourished wave of his hands as if he was waiting for applauses.</p><p>"Seriously, what novel ya readin'?" Atsumu asked instead. In theory, the plan was enticing, passionate, and eye-catching but it was because Atsumu was already attracted to his lordship. Would a similar reaction occurred to a person immune to said lordship? What were the chances of Lord Tobio simply rolling his eyes and calling for Suga or Bokuto or even Atsumu to carry him back to the house?</p><p>"I am starting to think you are only saying this to convey how at awe you are at my idea. Besides, don't you feel it? The heat of the moment? The way your heat jumped at being so close you could kiss?"</p><p>"Yeah, it's great," Atsumu dragged out the last word in a manner to showcase his lack of care or effect of said heat of the moment. "But ya really think Lord Tobio's gonna fall for it? Cause no way is <em>that</em> gonna work."</p><p>All of a sudden, Lord Shouyou stood straighter, looking very agitated. "Well, since your letter idea did not work I am not taking any criticism from you. And you said you will help me so do your part and I will do mine. We will see who's right tomorrow!"</p><p>He, then, stomped toward his desk and drank his tea in a single gulp.</p><p>It struck Atsumu later, when he returned back downstairs, that Lord Shouyou's face had been a bit flustered near the end and he wondered if his lordship had had the same reaction to their closeness as Atsumu had. But as quickly as the thought came, he waved it away as the product of his own desire and continued on toward his dinner with a heavy heart at the thought that the plan <em>might</em> work.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>"Kageyama, this will be our three hundred and eighty sixth match!" Lord Shouyou exclaimed as he stretched out his biceps. His broad grin was a sharp contrast to the straight line that was Lord Tobio's mouth.</p><p>"Ya count yer matches?" Atsumu blurted out as he handed Lord Shouyou his sword.</p><p>"And the practice matches! How else are we to know who is the winner!" His lordship laughed aloud as if what he said was the most natural conclusion to make. "So far its two hundred wins for Kageyama and a hundred and eighty six for me. That also meant its two hundred losses for me and a hundred and eighty six for Kageyama."</p><p>"Aren't we including the score of the Ashton match?" Kageyama asked. He lightly swung his sword against the air, testing its weight before nodding to Bokuto, who was to referee the match along with Atsumu. "That's what you stated in your last letter."</p><p>"Ack, that's right! But if we add that then we have to add all the other ones!"</p><p>Kageyama hummed with a deep frown that made him look angry but Atsumu was starting to realize it was his thinking face. "Also the matches I have in school and you here, which would make this -" And the young lord's face become even more tight as he count the numbers.</p><p>"About four hundred and fifty matches! But that means I have won - hmmm, let's see-" Lord Shouyou stuck his tongue out as he started counting with his fingers. "A hundred and ninety three wins for me!"</p><p>"Don't forget to count the ties."</p><p>"Course I don't forget!"</p><p>"Okay, let's start <em>this</em> match before Suga arrive with tea," Atsumu called out. He deeply regretted his question and he wished to never witness Lord Shouyou and Lord Tobio counting their wins and losses again; just listening to them was giving him a migraine.</p><p>His lordship shot him a quick smile and nodded pointedly toward the garden - subtlety really was not his strongest suit.  Lord Shouyou's body was a bundle of twitches and jumps; he kept looking at the garden path with such an eager expression that he might as well write out his intention on paper and gave it to Lord Tobio. Nonetheless, Atsumu returned a stiff smile of his own as he glanced at Bokuto who was talking Lord Tobio's ear off about counting wins and losses and how <em>he</em> could not do that because number confused him sometimes.</p><p>It was like seeing Sakusa and Lord Shouyou together but in reverse. The young lord's mouth was as straight as a lamp post and he was barely moving around; on the other hand, Bokuto was swinging his arms one minute and jumping on his toes the other ( Atsumu could only imagined how the dressing scene played out between them - he and Lord Shouyou had a good laugh about that). But to his credit, Lord Tobio did not seem annoyed by it; in fact, he seem to be taking Bokuto's suggestions and comments in serious consideration.</p><p>This was not what Atsumu imagined the young lord to be. He had imagined a hard-ass, class-conscious, arrogant young man but the one before him, from what he see so far, was a quiet, serious, stoic man. The temper and impatienceness from a week ago was non-existent, perhaps those were attitudes of a child that were unlearned in adulthood? If that was the case, Lord Tobio had a point more than Atsumu who still could not let go of his own arrogant, aggressive, selfish tendencies at times.  While he was the picture of quiet and professionalism to the Lord Tobio, Sir Oikawa, and Kuroo, Atsumu still ran his mouth around the servants and he still wanted to keep his lordship to himself. But he liked to think he was making great strive; after all, the Astorian Empire was not build in a day ... or a week.</p><p>Then, Lord Tobio's eyes fell on him and did not look away - again. He had been looking at Atsumu from the moment he and Lord Shouyou arrived. At first it hardly registered in Atsumu's mind as it was natural for Lord Tobio to look at him since he was standing next to his lordship. The second time, Lord Shouyou was already standing next to the young lord - Atsumu had thought his lordship must had said something about him. The third time was more unnerving and Atsumu wondered if there was something on his face or clothes - heck, was there white powder on the bottom of his pants? Surely both Lord Shouyou or Bokuto would had pointed it out if there was something. And now, now Atsumu could not deluded himself into thinking that Lord Tobio was not consciously looking at him. He was half in mind to scream "what" just to get it over with but that won't do; it would only embarrassed his lordship so he kept it in and gave the young lord a short nod before looking away. </p><p>His eyes once again fell onto the garden path; his heart prickled as if thousands of ants were crawling over it. At the very least, Atsumu was thankful he did not have to observe Lord Shouyou' s plan in action.</p><p>Bokuto called for the two lords to take their positions. Atsumu wished his lordship luck and Lord Shouyou sprinted toward the center of the court. Lord Tobio's valet was his usual energetic, cheerful self again - the doleful, depressed man from days ago was gone; Atsumu took this to mean that Bokuto had won in his determination to not write despite Kuroo's insistence. Once more, Atsumu pondered on who the letter-writer was, what the letter consisted of, and why Bokuto was so against writing back.</p><p><em>So many secrets, so many hidden sides,</em> Atsumu thought as his mind wondered toward Suga and his little story of becoming Lord Kageyama's valet; Ennoshita and his bitterness toward being the head butler; Lord Tobio and his ever-so-mysterious lover back at the capital; even Lord Shouyou was keeping something - like that whole mess with his father and the real reason why he won't leave Karasuno. It had to be a big reason to keep him chained to one place. But remembering his talk with Fujiko and the fact that he himself was keeping a bigger secret from them all, Atsumu supposed he shouldn't really be surprised by this. Everyone had something they want to hide - it was just a question of who gets hurt and who gets a happy ending that determined the value and consequence of said secret. </p><p>"Ready?" Bokuto's booming voice shook Atsumu back to the present. He looked down just into time to see Bokuto started the match. Lord Shouyou's sword sliced through the air with a definite whoosh. The hard clang of Lord Tobio's sword stopped its trajectory and away they went; tiptoeing and dancing around each other to not be touched for the first touch was the first loser.  </p><p>It was an amazing start and Atsumu burned at the thought of not being a part of it. What would he start with? Which direction would he go? But he could not think too much for it was taking every ounce of his concentration to keep up and observe. Bokuto, however, seem to have no problem letting out gasps of excitement, exclamations of amazement, and groans of disappointment.</p><p>Like always, his lordship's speed and reflexes were things of marvel. Atsumu could already guessed some of his movement - each time he got it right, Atsumu puffed out in pride; each time he got wrong, he deflated a bit but resumed his observation. One amazing moment was when Lord Shouyou deflected a difficult attack with a move Atsumu had shown him. At this Atsumu gasped aloud and he could only beamed with a sense of accomplishment and joy at his lordship's remembrance and growth ( the first time his lordship did this move, he almost cut Atsumu's arm out).</p><p>In the case of Lord Tobio, Atsumu was upset to see that the talks of his good swordsmanship were not just rumors but he supposed it made sense for the young lord to be so excellent and talented, Lord Shouyou would not had been so taken with him if he were not.  Lord Tobio <em>was</em> talented; it could be seen in his stance, his foot work, his speed (not as fast as Lord Shouyou's but good enough to match him).  Atsumu could not be upset for long - not when such an exhilarating match was being played him. And he supposed as a lawyer, Lord Tobio won't have to worry much about self-protection from wronged or over-zealous clients.</p><p>Suddenly, instead of attacking directly as one would expected, Lord Tobio changed tactic as he moved to his right and rotated his waist - the movement stunned Lord Shouyou that he lost his hold of his sword and it dropped onto the ground. Not wasting a moment, the young lord  made to jab at his opponent. Only instinct saved his lordship from the losing blow - he rolled forward as the young lord's sword lowered to where his shoulder was. Even more impressive, he used his foot to hook his fallen sword and pulled away to stand up in time, sword in hand.</p><p>Bokuto gasped out loud, so did Atsumu; but while Bokuto's was out of surprise and awe at this new find, Atsumu's was out of shock and excitement of a familiarity. That was an Astorian sword technique - very amateurishly applied but recognizably so. Atsumu started relentlessly critiquing Lord Tobio's footwork, hand position, and timing - everything that could be improve upon and everything Atsumu could execute in perfection. </p><p>His fingers tingled with the want to hold a sword, his feet ached to run, to jump, to place himself in the competition and matched Lord Tobio's attack blow for blow, especially so that he could wiped the self-satisfied smirk off the young lord's face and prove himself of being the better sword-man to everyone else. </p><p>At the same time, Atsumu could not deny a sense of warmth forming within him toward Lord Tobio. First the knowledge of the <em>Tales</em> and now this - the young lord was proving to be a cultured man ( not as much as Lord Shouyou, of course) but anyone who knew anything about Astoria was on Atsumu's good books. Where had Lord Tobio learned this? Did Celestian university employed Astorian sword masters? But these questions would had to wait for the match had taken a faster, more aggressive turn.</p><p>Lord Shouyou must had seen Lord Tobio's unexpected play as a personal challenge for his eyes were so intense that it rivaled the sun's glaring heat and so focused that he could see nothing else but the man he was trading blows with. Such eyes screamed of a fight to the bitter end and Atsumu was once again pulled by the desire to pick up a sword and joined the fight. His lordship's changes were not missed by Lord Tobio who immediately and effectively changed his stance and speed - Atsumu tried to stump down the admiration that sprang from this.</p><p>Cursed those two, they looked like they were having the time of their lives; a meteorite would hit and neither man would take notice.</p><p><em>Goddess's grace, </em>Atsumu realized with sudden clarity as his lordship flipped back to duck a blow. <em>He's really <span class="u">into</span> the fight</em>!</p><p>So into it that instead of running into the garden, Lord Shouyou ran up steps and through the backdoor which had opened at that very minute by an unassuming Lev. Lord Tobio was not one to give up so he followed his lordship into the house. Lev had to pressed himself to the door to avoid a fatal injury; neither of the lords seem to noticed the footman, so focused as they were on each other.</p><p>Atsumu was stunned, Bokuto was no different. Both men looked at each other for a good minute as if to make sure what had transpired had indeed transpired before they sprinted into the house. Poor Lev had to reacquaint himself with the door to let them through.</p><p>"Who's wining?" Lev shouted after them.</p><p>"Dunno," Atsumu shouted back as he and Bokuto followed the clanging of the metal down the hallway that he had walked down with Suga yesterday.</p><p>"Stop running around, dumbass!" Lord Tobio's voice echoed in the hall as if there was a hundred of him speaking.</p><p>"But I'll lose if I did!"</p><p>The two lords disappeared into a room, not the library but a smaller room that might had been a parlor. It contained many cushions and tables, which held delicate ornaments that made the fencing match much more dangerous and difficult to maneuver. Not that it stopped the two lords; if anything both seem even more determined to utilize their new surrounding to their advantage - by this point they had gone past common sense and fencing rules.</p><p>Lord Shouyou jumped onto the tea table to avoid tripping over it and Lord Tobio followed by stepping on to the cushions - Atsumu had a passing thought about extra work this was giving the Manor maids but it was gone as he himself tried to avoid toppling over the furniture while getting a good view of the match. </p><p>"Was that a touch?" Bokuto asked.</p><p>"Nope," Atsumu growled as he squinted around the small trinkets. "It hit the couch - Suga's not gonna like that."</p><p>Lord Shouyou jumped down and using the change in height, he jabbed toward Lord Tobio's back; the young lord was prepared as he turned around and dodged the blow. However, this swift movement caused his leg to hit the table next to the cushion he was standing on and the ornament on it, an egg crafted with beautiful stone and flowers, wobbled and rolled over the edge.</p><p>"The egg!" Atsumu and Bokuto shouted as neither of them were near enough to catch it in time.</p><p>In an impressive display of perception, speed, and reflex, Lord Shouyou jumped over the stool, slide over the wooden surface, and caught the egg just in time to block a blow from Lord Tobio.</p><p>"Cesario!" His lordship shouted and he threw the egg into the air - he did not look around to see where Atsumu was, he just <em>threw it</em>.</p><p><em>That sadistic twerp</em>, Atsumu thought as he dived after the egg. It gleamed like a diamond in the sunlight and for one wild moment Atsumu was sure it would slipped pass his fingers and shattered into thousand pieces on the carpet-covered floor. But he leaned a bit forward and his hand clasped the cool, rough texture of the ornament just as his heart slammed on to his ribs. He rolled onto his feet, just in time to see his lordship's foot disappeared around the door; his playful laughter echoing in the hall in addition to the clang and swish of the swords.</p><p>"Nice catch!" Bokuto screamed as he ran toward the door.</p><p>Atsumu stood up - his legs wobbled a little at the sudden rush of adrenaline- placed the egg in its proper place, and ran after them; his heart still pounding like the drum of a war cry.</p><p><em>How dare he</em>, how dare he called him out without a single glance, a single indication of his intention. Just "Cesario" and he expected Atsumu to understand, to be where he needed him to be. <em>The gall of him</em> - Atsumu grinned; annoyance, exhilaration, adrenaline, and gratification filled within him as he entered a third set of door which led to the library where the tea party was taking place.</p><p>The small table from yesterday had been exchanged for a large one which now held pastries, a steaming tea pot and tea cups. Lord Kageyama, Mistress Hinata (who had her hand over her heart), and Ms. Shimizu were standing up and looking at the two lords with a mixture of resignation and exasperation. Sir Oikawa was sitting down and slipping his tea, completely ignoring his cousin and neighbor as if they were nothing but a couple of pesky flies. Atsumu found the calm both annoying and admirable - the latter feeling irritated him greatly and he swiftly stomped it down so that annoyance could take over. </p><p>The large space of the library meant that the claustrophobic feel of the parlor was nonexistent as does the obstacles of ornaments and furniture but now there was a larger audience for Kuroo, Suga, and Yaku had entered the room - either they heard the commotion and came to investigate or Lev had told them. The end felt near as they all watched, followed, and observed with baited breath as the swords hit, swung, and flew for the lords ducked, lunged, and jumped.</p><p>The mistake was on Lord Tobio's part as he pay too much attention to his left that allowed his right to be open for an attack. Lord Shouyou, after his jab was defected, immediately switched hands as he jumped to his right- Lord Tobio's left. The young lord hesitated to follow along and that hesitation was enough for Lord Shouyou's sword to make contact with his right rib.</p><p>"Touch!" Atsumu and Bokuto shouted.</p><p>"Yes!" Lord Shouyou raised his arms into the air and jumped, a wide grin in place. "That's a hundred and ninety four wins for me and two hundred and thirty loss!"</p><p>Lord Tobio tsked but did not see too upset by the loss.  A small smile graced his face; it made him looked younger and kinder. Both he and Lord Shouyou were breathing harshly but neither seem tired. The momentum of the fight was still there and it was burning within them that even the coolness of the library could not distinguish it. Atsumu understood that and he expected nothing else from those two.</p><p>"I will win next time," the young lord promised.</p><p>To which Lord Shouyou replied, "So would I!"</p><p>The two shook hands and thus, the match ended.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>While Lord Kageyama had found the match amazing, both he and Mistress Hinata weren't too happy about what occurred and the two lords were called out of the room to be reprimanded like the children they were. The intense, demon-like aura that had surrounded Lord Shouyou was replaced by that of a schoolboy who was caught sticking his hand onto a jar of cookies before dinner. Lord Tobio, too, had taken on a more sullen feature which was his version of a pout. </p><p>Atsumu laughed at these changes - no matter how old one become, parents and guardians could easily made one feel like they were a child again. The two lords were then sent to the parlor to clean it up as punishment for their carelessness and nonchalant attitude as it made no sense to add to the maids' chores. While they did that, Atsumu and Bokuto collected the swords and returned to the court.</p><p>"WOAH! That was so <em>intense</em>, the best play I ever SEEN! " Bokuto exclaimed. His eyes were shining and his chest was moving up and down as he breathe heavily. He looked as if he was the one playing but then, both he and Atsumu had to ran after the two lords so it did felt like they had been part of the match as well as being observers.</p><p>"Yeah," Atsumu murmured as he wiped the back of his head over his forehead. A cool glass of lemonade would be much appreciated at this point. "The play Lord Tobio did - it's alright but <em>I</em> can do it much better."</p><p>"They really were!" Bokuto said, clearly not listening. "I heard that the two of them can get really, really into it but I didn't think it would be like this - all that running, jumping and woowwwww. They really went all out!" With each word, Bokuto was vibrating so much that sword stand next to him began to tumble. Atsumu was making waving motions with his hands to calm him down when a very annoying sound interrupted them.</p><p>"Welllll, that's what to be expected from Little Tobio and Shouyou," Sir Oikawa said as he came to stand near Bokuto and Atsumu. Kuroo was next to his master, a cat-grin in place. Seeing these two together was causing all the hairs at the back of Atsumu's neck and hands to raise like a cat in preparation for a fight. There was a knowing look about their faces as they faced him and it once again brought forth the questions of <em>did they know</em> inside Atsumu's head like pots and pans banging on each other.</p><p>"Tobio always love sword play and if he had not love law much more, I am sure he would had taken up sword play as a career. <em>Shouyou</em> can be very intense and passionate on things he set his mind  to. So they are two peas in a pod," Sir Oikawa signed good-naturedly. Except he said "Shouyou" in a low tone, almost like a purr, which set the hairs at the back of Atsumu's neck off again but for a different reason.</p><p>"Not to mention, you tend to play your best when you want to impress someone," Kuroo added. Sir Oikawa nodded his head in agreement and the two man, once again, looked at Atsumu.</p><p>"Yes?" Atsumu asked, his voice as monotone as he could mastered.</p><p>"Golly, man." Sir Oikawa exclaimed, "surely you <em>must</em> have notice. I doubt you can be this <em>obtuse</em>."</p><p>The desire to scream every rude words bubbled in his lungs but Atsumu stomped it down because he did not want to give Sir Oikawa the satisfaction. So he said, with great control, "there're many things I'm obtuse 'bout. Ya better tell me so I'll tell ya what I know or do not know."</p><p>"How well spoken." - <em>That was a sneer, wasn't it</em>?- "I mean the fact that neither my cousin or darling Shouyou could keep their eyes off you."</p><p>"Course, I'm his lordship's servant. They need to look at me when they're talkin' to me."</p><p>Both Sir Oikawa and Kuroo stared at him as if they could not believe they had just heard and Atsumu could not understand what he said that could create such a reaction.</p><p>"But Lord Tobio was looking at you throughout the match, so was Lord Shouyou," Bokuto declared. "And neither of them were talking to you then."</p><p>"No way, ya lying'," Atsumu scoffed. "I was lookin' too and I don't see them lookin' at me." Granted he was paying more attention to the swords and the lords' movements ( and if he were paying close attention to anyone, it was Lord Shouyou) but he was sure his lordship had not even glanced at him once since Bokuto started the match. He also doubted Lord Tobio would take the trouble of looking away from his opponent just to look at a footman, even if he did stared at said footman a lot before the match.</p><p>However, Bokuto shook his head. "They were! Not all the time but just as I started the match they looked at you, but you were staring at the sky so you didn't notice. And before Lord Tobio did that awesome sword play - Sir Oikawa, Kuroo, you should had seen it, it was AMAZING-  I swear he glanced at you! Lord Shouyou, too, like when you made a grab for the egg. Also at the end of the match and before they left the room."</p><p>"Well, well, well, how curious," Sir Oikawa muttered as he and Kuroo grinned at each other. This only installed in Atsumu the belief that he was being made fun of so he decided to take what Bokuto said with a grain of salt.</p><p>"Sure, Bokun, whatever ya say."</p><p>For some reason, this caused Sir Oikawa to gave off a big sigh. "So this is what they mean by the 'innocence of youth.'"</p><p><em>What</em>?</p><p>"Well, sir, you know how young people are these day. Can't read subtlety even if it's in front of them." Kuroo nodded.</p><p><em>What the fuck</em>?</p><p>"But is Cesario that young?" Bokuto once again asked. "I mean you're twenty four, right? ( Atsumu gave a hesitant nod) so that means you were born on the last year of the era, does that make you more younger than us?" Atsumu could not give a sensible response to such a senseless question. However, unlike Sir Oikawa and Kuroo, who were mocking him, Bokuto asked his question in pure seriousness and seem to be expecting a serious answer.</p><p>"Oh, you make an excellent point, Bokuto," Sir Oikawa said. And he began asking if one really was twenty four if they were born at the end of an era and the beginning of a new era. In fact, Kuroo expressed, some culture counted the moment of conception as the start of a child's life thus Atsumu would be considered twenty five in some countries. But with the changing of the eras, it could still be said that Atsumu was twenty four. Bokuto then added that birthdays are similar to anniversaries so would that make this year Atsumu's twenty fourth anniversary or was it the twenty third - the twenty fifth?</p><p><em>What the heck are they talking about?</em> Atsumu thought, feeling more and more like a fish out of the water. <em>Are they being serious 'bout this or are they pulling my legs</em>?</p><p><em>Oh</em>, this must be what Aran felt ever time Atsumu and Osamu did their many pranks and joke routine. In a flash, Atsumu remembered every reaction, or as many as he could, done by Aran - the exasperation, the exhaustion, the logical reasoning- and never before had Atsumu felt such closeness to his only friend than this moment.</p><p>But, Atsumu backtracked, he was not be as bad as Sir Oikawa or Kuroo since what he and his brother did was actually funny; Aran just lack the sense of humor. What Sir Oikawa and Kuroo were doing now was simple teasing that only benefited them and no one else ( if anyone were to ask Aran he would say <em>this</em> was exactly what the twins did too).</p><p>At that moment, Suga appeared with a tray containing a lemonade jar and two glasses with compliments from Lord Kageyama to Atsumu and Bokuto for putting up with his charge's shenanigans. Suga's arrival was also a blessing for he took up Sir Oikawa and Kuroo's attention thus allowing Atsumu to quietly and quickly slip back indoor after his thirst was quenched.</p><p>He made his way toward the parlor where Lord Shouyou was straightening the last of the squashed cushions; Lord Tobio was nowhere to be found.</p><p>"Hello there," Lord Shouyou greeted - he did not seemed upset over his punishment. In fact, the energy that was vibrating off him before the match was still present. It just wasn't as overwhelming. "What do you think of the match? Crazy, wasn't it?"</p><p>Atsumu only hummed and continued on staring at his lordship, who looked up in confusion. Suddenly, his eyes widen and he slapped his hands onto his hair with a loud, "Gyaaaa, I forgot about my plan!"</p><p>"Geez, really? I couldn't tell," Atsumu drawled.</p><p>"And I was so prepared. Ahhhh, all that planning, wasted!"</p><p>"Ya don't have to be so hard 'bout it. Ya could do it again."</p><p>But Lord Shouyou stared at him with a serious expression as he crossed the room. "No, I can't. I am sure the same thing will happen if I did."</p><p>"Ya think so?"</p><p>"Yes." Lord Shouyou placed his hand over his heart and looked at Atsumu with such intensity that one would think he was about to reveal a deep, dark secret. "If today show me anything is that my desire to win against Kageyama in anything trumps everything else."</p><p>"Kinda got that when yer countin' yer losses and wins." Atsumu shook his head in amusement and then, unable to contain himself, he full on laughed in his lordship's face. The hilarity of what transpired had finally caught up to him - he couldn't believe these two. They actually ran around the house just cause neither wanted to lose! And here, Atsumu thought he and Osamu were the only ones who get this intense over a competition.</p><p>"It's not funny - this is a serious matter!" Lord Shouyou said. However, his lips started to quiver and he, too, was laughing by the end of his exclamation.</p><p>"Is it always like this with ya two? Poor mistress and Lord Kageyama," Atsumu gasped between laughs. "Ya gotta be menaces growin' up."</p><p>"No, I was an angle! Kageyama was a brat."</p><p>"Don't believe ya. Ya got a mischievous bone in yer body, yer just good at hidin' it."</p><p>"Not true!"</p><p>And the two dissolved into laughter again until their jaws ached, their temples throbbed, and their lungs stung.</p><p>"But you must admit it was an amazing fight!" Lord Shouyou beamed after their laughter subsided. Dang it, Atsumu could never say 'no' to that smile nor could he denied it was an amazing fight.</p><p>"I guess. Lord Tobio was really gross with that one play, didn't know he knew Astorian technique."</p><p>"Neither did I. He is a box of surprises for the both of us." Stilling beaming, Lord Shouyou leaned closer. "And me? I had some good play, hadn't I?"</p><p>"Ya mean when ya threw the egg? What the heck, m'lord? Ya almost gave me a heart attack!" Even so Atsumu could not mustered up the annoyance he had felt from that moment for his heart was so light and everything seem so peaceful.  He was not even offended when his lordship gave another laugh and stated that he was not worry for he knew Cesario would catch it for Cesario never failed in his expectation. How was Atsumu to respond to that but puffed out his cheek in mock indignation and cross his arms in pride?</p><p>"Say, why ya call him 'Kagayama'? I mean ya both friends so why not go by yer given names?" Despite asking this, Atsumu remembered that his lordship and his group of friends tend to call each other by their last names. Perhaps it was a Celestian habit but he had seen other group of friends using their given names with each other so maybe it was just his lordship.</p><p>"Well, it's because I have always known him as 'Kageyama' - it seem a bit forced to call him 'Tobio' for no reason." Lord Shouyou signed and looked toward the windows which faced the front gardens. "The truth is, it also feel a bit intimate to call him that; I feel like I need his permission to do that. Besides if I start calling him 'Tobio,' he will notice and I suppose I am a bit afraid he might ask me not to call him that. It feels like a rejection if it happen."</p><p><em>Intimate</em>, Atsumu never thought of it that way. People had always called him "Atsumu," that was, those who bothered to remember which one he was. Thus, the uniqueness of having few people call him by his given name had lost its appeal and wonder. "Cesario" was a nice name but it was nothing special, not now when everyone called him by it. But this meant that "Atsumu" had a new importance. It was no longer common but different, unknown. His heart took on a galloping pace as he wondered what would his name sound like from his Lord Shouyou's lips, in his voice.</p><p>Wait a minute-</p><p>"I called ya by yer given name," Atsumu pointed out. He had been calling him so for two months until recently when he reverted back to calling him "m'lord."</p><p>"Oh yes." Lord Shouyou now was looking at the couches, the wall behind Atsumu, the candle holders - anything that was not Atsumu's eyes. "You started calling me that one day and I never told you to stop."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>His lordship shrugged. "I did not mind," - he bit his lips and then he looked at Atsumu straight in the eyes- "and like I said, I like hearing you say my name."</p><p>Suddenly, Lord Shouyou turned his body away, placed his hands behind his back, and said loudly, "Do you know that I did not like Kageyama when I first met him?"  Atsumu made to interrupt but his lordship continued, walking toward the windows. "For a nine year old, he was soooo proud, rude, and scary. Both of our mothers wanted us to get along since we are neighbours. But I knew he did not like me too because he was always shouting. He never seem to listen to what I say and there was always something about me he found lacking. I won't go as far to say I hate him but I did not enjoyed being with him that first summer. It got a bit better during our second summer, he was more quiet and was more interested in books than playing with me. I did not mind because I had Yamaguchi, Yachi... and Tsukishima, I suppose.  Then, his father walked out of the family and Kageyama had to stay with us for a month since his grandfather had to travel to the capital with Lady Kageyama to deal with the matter.</p><p>One night, I found him in the library, looking out from one of the windows with a candle. He won't tell me why he was there or what the candle was for but Miwa told me it was an old habit of his in which he would wait for his father's return, when the man had to travel far, by the front window with a candle to light his father's way home." His lordship lightly placed his hand on the window still, his eyes a bit faded as if seeing a small child sitting there, with a candle burning, waiting for a father who was never coming back.</p><p>"So that;s how ya become friends? Got some heart-to-heart chats late into the night?" Atsumu asked in a whisper. There was something precious of that memory, that image that he could not help but feel for the young lord.</p><p>"Nope, I told him he was being stupid and that his father did not deserve it." At Atsumu's shock look, his lordship laughed. "I can be mean and remember, I did not like Kageyama back then. Well, you can imagine how Kageyama react to that. Next thing I knew, we were rolling on the floor, trying to punch the light out of each other.  Daichi and Ennoshita had to separate us and my mother punishment me by giving me an impossible task - make Kageyama smile."</p><p>Atsumu whistled. "That's a tall order."</p><p>"You have no idea."</p><p>"Didja win?"</p><p>"Not that summer. But my mother got what she really wanted - me spending time with Kageyama. I was determined to succeed so I stuck to him like glue. I even roped Yachi and Yamaguchi into my schemes; Tsukishima only came to make fun of me." A soft smile appeared as the memory took over. "Before I knew it, the five of us were friends. And I came to look forward to Kageyama's visit every summer. We started competing over everything and well - here we are. Somewhere along all that, I fell for him. I don't know how or what but I remember looking at him trying to fish - he's horrible at it- and thinking how I couldn't stand the thought of him not in my life. I was miserable that winter, missing him and everything. I waited for his letters every day. When I received one, it was the most happiest I was and when I send my reply, I wait for the next one."</p><p>"Then, why didn't ya confess?" Atsumu asked because it seem to be the most obvious course of action to take and there was nothing else he could say that would not lead to him bleeding his heart out.</p><p>"Because I'm waiting for him to love me."</p><p>"Waiting?" Not a word he expected to come out of his lordship's mouth. "Ya said that as if it's inevitable." <em>As inevitable as him loving no one else but you.</em></p><p>"Because I know it is." Those words came out in a rush as if saying it quickly would take away from the impartiality of it - Lord Shouyou must had been aware of it for he sighed and leaned against the window still, eyes on the outside. "At least, I thought it was. I told you our mothers wanted us to be friends and now they wanted us to marry. It's not just them - everyone paired us together. It was always 'Hinata and Kageyama.' Find one and you will find the other - if they see me, they know Kageyama is not far behind; if they find him, they know I am close by. It seems so ... natural, the way they talked of us and I came to believe that we will <em>naturally</em> be together. I came to rely on that certainty."</p><p>Lord Shouyou locked his hands together as silence followed. There was so much Atsumu wanted to say but he didn't know how to do so without sounding like a douchebag stomping on his lordship's feelings. A small chuckle broke the stillness as Lord Shouyou angled his body toward Atsumu.</p><p>"You don't agreed with me," he said. Atsumu bit his lips and scowled. "Tell me."</p><p>"Ya won't like what I'm gonna say."</p><p>"Frankly, it would be a relieve. I never talk about this to anyone; you're the first to know. Besides, I welcome our talks, they are always refreshingly honest and transformative."</p><p>Atsumu did not reply immediately but waited to see if his lordship changed his mind - he didn't. Instead, his scorching golden eyes locked on Atsumu's, those wide, demanding eyes pulling him out of his hesitation.</p><p>Taking a deep breath to calm his pounding heart, for he knew that once spoken there was no going back, Atsumu said, "I think ya puttin' too much faith on somethin' that have no business with love."</p><p>"You don't believe in soul-mates?" His lordship leaned forward, a hungry expression now overtook his face as he scrutinized Atsumu's eyes, his nose, his mouth as if looking for a crack, a lie - anything that give a hint to the truth behind Atsumu's words. "Don't you believe in fated pairs that heaven had bonded from birth till death?"</p><p>"I believe we have some control on who we love and who we stay with <em>despite</em> what heaven say."</p><p>"Then, you have never <em>truly</em> been in love before."</p><p>This was said so innocently, so causally as one would talk about the weather. Atsumu blistered as his blood boiled and his head pounded like the beat of a war drum. His spine straightened as the words and tone washed over him and he let his anger took hold of his body so that he was standing in front of his lordship; he bend forward, leveling their eyes so that his lordship did not miss a single word Atsumu say.</p><p>"I am in love with a man I can never have." His voice was as silent as the falling snow and as cold as the frozen lake. Lord Shouyou eyes widen and blinked - whether from the confession or from the tone, it matter not. "I know what its like to ache for someone only for them to not look at you, to not see you,to not hear you the way you want them to. I know what its like to lay awake at night, going over everything that he had said or done because I am glad to have know him. So don't you dare say that I was never in love. I may be an irredeemable asshole but at the very least, don't treat me as someone incapable of loving."</p><p>"I didn't -"</p><p>"Yer right about one thing, I don't know when it happen." It was like his lordship's word was a canon to the dam that was Atsumu's feelings and now that it cracked, nothing could be done but watched as the water overflowed and prayed that the destruction was minimal. But water was too cool of an element to describe Atsumu. No, he was a raging inferno, which his lordship had carelessly pour gasoline over. "I was in the middle by the time I notice. <em>That</em> I cannot control but what I <em>can</em> is what I do about it. I decided that he could be happier not by my side so I never told him. And I am not gonna be sad 'bout it cause I want him to be happy. I'm still his friend; I'm still by his side, that was better than nothing.</p><p>Believe in soul-mates, I'm not gonna mock ya for it. If ya said ya didn't confess because yer scare of rejection, I get that. If ya said ya didn't confess cause ya want to protect yer friendship, I get that. But what I see is ya using an abstract concept to justify your inaction. Was today and yesterday the first time yer actively court him?" - His lordship's eyes looked to the side before facing forward again - "How can ya say he'll never fall in love with ya when ya have never try to act on it?"</p><p>"If I act on it, doesn't it seems like I am forcing him to choose me?"</p><p>"Like yer mother forced ya to become his friend?"</p><p>Lord Shouyou had nothing to say as Atsumu suspected.</p><p>"Ya know, I always thought it's weird how a forward guy like ya never confess or ever act on yer feelings. I seen ya flirt with others. Hell, ya even asked me to be yer lover! But when it come to Lord Tobio, ya just clam up as if he was something above everyone else; someone ya can't touch because he was <em>that</em> special. I think ya romanticize love - it's like ya see it as this one-time thing that ya only have one chance at and it's never for ya to decide. But that's not what love is.  When I said love's complicated, I'm not just talking 'bout love letters and poetry, I'm talking 'bout havin' to <em>work on it</em>. Deciding to confess, deciding to stay together, deciding to be there for each other, talking to each other. Makin' it last, it's not gonna happen sitting on yer butt and waiting for life to ran its course."</p><p>Atsumu took a deep breath and after a minute of hesitation plunged on - his lordship already knew about his father what was one more? "My parents love each other. I don't trust my father in many things but one thing I can always count on is that he love my mother. But ya know, it didn't make her life better. It only make it worse because my father's a selfish bastard who didn't know when to quit. See, he's married to someone else but he won't get a divorce. Yet he also wanted my mother to be his mistress all the same. He gave her a house, two sons, wealth, clothes, servants, everything so that she would stay by him. She could had run away, Goddess, I wanted her to run away. Her life would had been easier but she had decided to stay. That's what the two of them decided and they weren't happy. They were by each other side, the love of their lives, but they weren't happy.</p><p>I also know another couple who are the kindest and most smarter people in the world but guess what? They fight too, they had their arguments and disagreements. Because people fight, disagree, hate, and are as petty as fuck - no way is everything solve by feelings returned. But they are together because they decided to make it work. Trust me when I say this, one of the them is the most practical person ya could ever meet and he's not one to follow emotions but he was willing to try."</p><p>Atsumu gasped his lordship's shoulders causing the man to jumped. "If ya believe that ya and Lord Tobio are soul-mates, if he's the love of yer life, the one ya wanna grow old with, don't just wait for it, act on it - fight for it."</p><p>Nothing in response but sharp breathing as his lordship closed his eyes. Atsumu did not disturb this as he too was breathing hard as if he had ran under the scorching heat.  Expect the sun had moved westward thus the parlor had lost its bright luster and had taken on a dull yellow tone.  Some sounds from the other side of the houses could be heard but they did not disturb the quiet bubble surrounding them. The outside world had no place here. Then-</p><p>The door opened like a canon hitting on a glass shelf, shattering everything with a horrible clatter. Atsumu looked around to find Lord Tobio standing by the door. The young lord's eyes were wide and his month was open in a small gasp - it would had been comical if not for the position Atsumu realized he and his lordship was in. He let go of Lord Shouyou quickly just as his lordship jumped forward as if the window had electrocuted him.  Atsumu took a moment to ensure that his face gave nothing away - which was equivalent to pushing a boulder uphill. His heart was still drumming with indignation, frustration, and anguish and part of him wanted to scream at Lord Tobio to get out for there was much needed to be said and clarified.  </p><p>"What is it, Kageyama?" Lord Shouyou asked. His voice was impressively steady - no hint of the emotional crisis in his eyes or face despite the pinkish glow of his cheeks and ears. <em>Lord Shouyou of Karasuno House</em>, indeed. Atsumu wanted to smack it off.</p><p>The young lord seem lost on what to say as his eyes took on his friend's appearance before looking at Atsumu, who was barely able to contain the flinch that overtook his body for the young lord's face was a picture of an incoming storm, complete with thunder and lighting. Did he sensed Lord Shouyou's distress and concluded that Atsumu was the cause of it? Anger bubbled within Atsumu at this presumptive thought, it was not his fault Lord Shouyou decided to lay out his skewed, illogical views of love and life. If anything, Lord Tobio should be grateful at Atsumu for saying what he said - he partially saved his marriage from taking on an emotionally-empty, soulless path!</p><p>"Kageyama?"</p><p>"Grandfather wants us in the garden," the young lord barked. Lord Shouyou did not recoil at the tone. Instead, his face took on a defensive expression as he tipped forward as if daring Lord Tobio to talk to him in such a way.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"I don't know." And the young lord left with a sharp turn.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Neither Atsumu or Lord Shouyou resumed their conversation. Both man silently left the parlor and walked toward the back doors - both determined to portray a sense of normalcy toward the others by the time they arrived outside.</p><p>Lord Kageyama, Mistress Hinata, and Ms. Shimizu had already left for the pavilion, a circular marble structure located at the center of the back garden. Apparently, the gardeners had found something when they were digging around the area near the willow tree in the far eastern side of the garden and Lord Kageyama wished to present their finding to them.</p><p>Lord Tobio was waiting with Sir Oikawa. The lawyer did not questioned Atsumu or his lordship as to where they were or as to why a dark expression was present in his cousin's face.</p><p>"Shouyou!" Sir Oikawa -<em>freaking</em>-purred as he looped his arm around his lordship's. "Let's walk together. I haven't seen you for months now we have so much to talk about.  I had send Bokuto off on an errand with Kuroo. So you won't mind if Cesario walk with Tobio, would you?"</p><p>Lord Shouyou seemed a bit lost at this on-slaughter of requests but after a quick glance at Atsumu and Lord Tobio, he gave his acceptance and the two of them started toward the garden in easy chatter, leaving Atsumu to follow along with Lord Tobio.</p><p>From his peripheral vision, Atsumu noticed that the young lord's hand trembled as if to wave a fly away. It moved again, this time an inch closer toward Atsumu's hand before it stopped and fell back. Thinking that the young lord must be uncomfortable with the physical closeness ( even though they weren't really that close), Atsumu placed his hands inside his pants pocket.  Lord Tobio's eyebrows tighten and he looked even more sour then he had a minute ago.</p><p>Although a bit confused, Atsumu decided to turn his mind onto other pressing matters - such as the fact that his lordship's enthusiastic (<em>fake</em>) performance was starting to get on his nerve despite his earlier resolve to act normal. <em>Fuck normal</em>, he wanted to continue on the talk because <em>damn it</em> - the displeasure of the moment returned and off went his heart, plumping blood to his hands that trembled with the need to held his lordship (  <em>"You have never truly been in love before ," bastard! Bastard!</em>). There was a lot he wanted to say - how hard it was for him to just stand there and listen to him talk about the young lord, how every time his lordship spoke of the young lord it was a nail to his heart, how much he wanted to walk away to relieve the ache. This was what aggravated Atsumu the most - that he had to suffer all this while Lord Shouyou was content to <em>wait</em> for a love returned when it was not even a guaranteed.</p><p><em>Bastard- cowardly, selfish, childish bastard</em> -</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>Lord Tobio's voice jolted Atsumu that he almost stumbled over a stone on the cobble-stone garden path. He looked to the young lord who had stopped walking. Atsumu had not expected Lord Tobio to talk, especially to him.</p><p>"Excuse me?" Atsumu asked. Realizing how harsh he sounded, he cleared his throat and said in a more softer tone, "m'lord?"</p><p>Lord Tobio fully turned toward Atsumu and he was struck by the fact that the young lord was the same height as him - funny, he had imagined him shorter.</p><p>"What were you doing with Hinata?"</p><p><em>Ah</em>, <em>the protective friend.</em> Now if only that protectiveness arise from jealousy, his lordship would get his wish and Atsumu would looked like a fool for scoffing at Fate and Soul-mates and all that bogus. Seeing how his luck had been, Atsumu won't be surprised if such an event happen. Fate and Life just loved playing with him - turned him around, stomped on him, pushed him, left him to dry in the unforgiving sun that was so self-centered that the freaking planets orbited around it. <em>Stupid Sun</em>. Nonetheless, the need to defend himself raised ( it was not his fault, damn it!) and he opened his mouth -</p><p>"Are you angry with me - because of what mother did?"</p><p>Only to close his mouth as the seed of confusion grew - a small shade from the sun but it was enough to screech his angry- pained- thoughts to a halt and sprouted new bewildered ones. <em>WHAT</em>? <em>What does your mother have anything to do with this?</em> <em>And of course, I am angry with you- you're accusing me of hurting his lordship</em>!</p><p>"I heard what she did. Miwa told me to be careful but I did not think she would go to that extent," - the young lord's hands tighten to a fist so fast that Atsumu was sure it left scars- "did Suna told you about me? Because you know I won't have left like that without a reason. I should have left a message but I thought you didn't want to see me anymore so I didn't. Once I got here, I realized  what ... and why she did it. You have to know that if I had known, I would have gotten you out. I won't have left you." The last part was said almost like a plead. Atsumu could say nothing for he was stunned by the fact that this was the longest he had heard Lord Tobio talked and he was lost as to which point he should focused on.  Taking Atsumu's silence for <em>something</em> ( who knows at this point), Lord Tobio glared at him. "Why aren't you saying anything?"</p><p><em>Because I have no freaking clue what you're talking about</em>!</p><p>"My, my, you two look very good together!" Atsumu never thought he would find Sir Oikawa's annoying voice amazing to hear. It was a welcome to the awkward, tense one-sided conversation that had gotten out of Atsumu's control (did he even had it?). The lawyer was looking over his shoulder at them with a calculating grin and only then did Atsumu fully took in the implication of what Sir Oikawa had said.</p><p>"Shut up, Oikawa!" Lord Tobio growled. His shoulders had became rigid as a tree trunk and his ears were gradually becoming red as a tomato.</p><p>"I am only making an observation, Little Tobio. No need to bite my head off about it. Shouyou, don't you agreed? Don't the two of them complement each other with their dark hairs and stature?  They have even have similar cool personalities. Although, Tobio is not really as cool as he seems."</p><p>Atsumu was still dumbfounded by this that he could barely react or gave a comeback. Him and Lord Tobio? Sir Oikawa was mad and near-sighted. Did he not understand the number of arrows he was shooting to Lord Shouyou's heart at this very moment?</p><p>His lordship did not replied immediately; instead he looked back and forth between Atsumu and Lord Tobio as if he was actually giving Sir Oikawa's question a serious thought. Then, with a blank expression, he said, "Cesario is not as cool as he seems as well- he can be very fiery about many things. For example, he may say things - demanding things that is beyond one's comfort level- in a moment of passion. But I know he never meant to hurt because he was only giving his opinion, which was asked from him." - Lord Shouyou looked at Atsumu straight in the eyes - "He is right about some things and wrong about some things but he is not wrong to be angry when he has been insulted because someone had said a very presumptive, arrogant thing tohim. He had every right to be mad at that person."</p><p>It was an apology. It may not be the one Atsumu wanted to hear but damn, did he wanted to forgive his lordship right then and there. And so, to not easily give in because sometimes Lord Shouyou needed to know that not everyone would gave him what he wanted immediately, Atsumu simply hummed.</p><p>His lordship could decided what to make of it by himself.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>What the gardeners found was a time capsule - one that was buried by Lord Shouyou and Lord Kageyama nine summers ago. However, instead of a circular container, it was a small trunk about half the size of a man's arm. Neither lords remembered its existence while Lord Kageyama and Suga did. The two happily recounted of that fine summer day when Lord Shouyou brought forth a book in which a character buried a set of childhood memoriam in a small capsule in hope of retaining his youth. The two boys, for Lord Shouyou was only fourteen and Lord Tobio thirteen, decided that it would be amazing to do just that -  not to be young forever; oh no, they scoff at the thought but to write a letter to their future self! Suga was asked to provide a capsule while Lord Kageyama was asked for permission to dug a hole near the willow tree he prized so much. Both men did their parts, followed the two boys to the tree, and watched them dug a hole ("No," Lord Shouyou had said, "we will do it ourselves!"). And there the trunk remained through the summer days, the falling leaves of fall, the frozen stiffness of winter, and the blossoms of spring - sitting there quietly as its very existence was wiped off from the lords' minds as they became preoccupied with other matters. Mistress Hinata claimed to not have known of it. Ms. Shimizu was not living at Karasuno at the time, and Sir Oikawa was absent that summer, something he pouted about for a little while before taking part in the nosy crowd that consisted of Atsumu, Suga, and Lord Kageyama who huddled around the two lords as they opened the trunk.</p><p>Lord Shouyou tipped it over and its contents fell onto the pavilion floor: several folded papers, a bag (that seemed to held rocks due to the harsh sound it made when it made contact with the concrete floor), dried remains of what seem to be flowers, a small doll, and small pocketbook.</p><p>"Oh, I was wondering where this went," Mistress Hinata exclaimed as she picked up the doll. "Natsu had made a huge fuss about losing this - why on earth did you place it here?"</p><p>"I am not sure." Lord Shouyou frowned as he took the doll from his mother and examined it.</p><p>"Hang on, isn't that the doll you claimed was hunted and made me do an all night vigil to make sure its won't hurt Natsu?" Lord Tobio pointed out. Lord Shouyou gasped and excitedly exclaimed <em>it was the doll</em>. Kageyama, remember how we tried to keep awake all night? You keep on pinching me! And you, Lord Tobio replied, kept flicking water in my face.</p><p>The other objects produced similar responses as either Lord Shouyou or Lord Tobio recounted the events surrounding them and as to how they made their way to the trunk. The bag contained marbles and it was the first "country game," as Lord Tobio described it, he had played with Lord Shouyou; Lord Kageyama jumped in to reminded the two boys of how they would put the marbles in their mouth to stop the other from taking them. The dried flowers took some time and prompting before Lord Shouyou remembered they were from the Flower festival - the one time Lord Tobio visited in the spring. It was part of a wreath Lord Shouyou had kept till summer came; Sir Oikawa commended him on being able to keep it for that long to which his lordship blushed. The pocketbook contained crude, ineligible drawing of what seems to be maps of the area surrounding Karasuno and the Manor. At this neither lord claimed ownership of the drawing and pointed to each other of being the artist. But why maps? It was when they had explored the land in hope of finding a hoard of gold that Suga had told them fairies had hidden from their enemies.</p><p>In a way, all the objects were junk that barely held any sentiments since both lords had so easily forgotten about them. But at the same time, these objects jumpstarted stories of childhood recklessness, freedom, abandonment, and joy that Atsumu could not help but found endearing as Lord Shouyou became more animated and his fake normalcy replaced with pure excitement and spirit. Lord Tobio's tensed shoulder had relaxed and his brows were looser - a smile was hinted at the most random time as he argued on whether it was him or Lord Shouyou who hid Saeko's whisk in an attempt to stop the cook from making vegetable menus. The event of the parlor seem to be a mockery to the scene playing out between the two friends surrounded by the articles of their shared past; and by the people who loved them and wished for their best.</p><p>Atsumu had never felt so much like an outsider than he did at that moment; his words at the parlor slammed into him and for a moment he wondered if soul-mates were indeed real and he was the fool for mocking them. He was an intruder to this relationship that had been in development since the lords met when they were nine - every argument between them was a step toward friendship, every moments of idiocy was a shared fondness of the other. The scene in front of him <em>made sense</em>, it made sense of Lord Shouyou and Lord Tobio to be together.</p><p><em>Osamu, I am a real idiot</em>, Atsumu thought as he look away. <em>If we were doing a time capsule what would you put? Me - I don't know. There is nothing I have that mean much. </em>Anything that really matters, any memories he wanted to keep was inside him for no object could represented it. </p><p>His eyes fell on the trees, the loose stone on the path, the one cloud floating lazily through the blue sky and once again, the ache for his homeland came to him. The manor where he lived in Vega, the capital of Astoria, was isolated by tall walls to stop people from looking in - and to keep the twins away from public viewing. There was a pavilion there too. But unlike here, it was located in a middle of man-made lake and the only way to access it was by the flat stones steps. It was a favorite spot for him and his brother for they would pretended they were on a boat on some high-sea adventure starring pirates, mermaids, and sea creatures. Atsumu always had Osamu played the person needed saving which his twin dislike and always made it difficult for Atsumu to save him because what if that person did not want to be save? What if that person wanted to live with the sea creature because he did not want to be with his nosy, stupid brother anymore?</p><p>The thing was Lord Shouyou and Lord Tobio had remained Atsumu too much of himself and Osamu. It was an unconscious thought that had been bubbling for awhile now but he never fully took it out of the box and examined it under bright light and a magnifying glass. He and Osamu, too, were viewed as pairs. They were twins, born under the same star, only minutes apart, so it made sense that they would never be seen as individuals with their own dreams, wants, and distains. What Atsumu wanted, Osamu must too. What Osamu hated, Atsumu must too.</p><p>Twins - as if each was a part of a whole person which was why one was so aggressive while the other was so passive. One took all the fire, the other had to deal with all that remained. For that neither brother would ever be content with anything; they will always be hungry, always wanting, never satisfied - it was the tragic fates of twins. That was what the old woman had said when she looked at Atsumu's palm; he had snatched his hand away and left without a backward glance, determined to defile fate because no way was he going to let something like <em>stars</em> decide what he become and what he wants.</p><p>But even he had fallen, for a little while, to the illusion of certainty. Everyone said that Atsumu and Osamu would always be together for it won't do for twins to be separated. They could not survive without the other. And Atsumu had accepted it just like how Lord Shouyou had accepted his future with Lord Tobio as a fact rather than a hope.  Both had lived with the <em>certainty</em> that there was one person who would be with them for the rest of their lives.</p><p>But Atsumu now knew better, he now understood how life functioned and how stupid it was to believe everything was certain because nothing was certain. Everyone got it wrong - didn't they? Osamu was dead, and Atsumu was alive. But he was not broken as they claimed he would be. He did not stop functioning as a person simply because his other-half was gone. Yes, he had been discouraged, he had lamented, he had bantered, he had been destructive but he had also learned to live without his twin.</p><p>Atsumu took a sudden, deep breath. The blue sky wasn't as blue anymore, the carefree chatter around him faded away along with the breeze that shook the tree branches and the tinkling of the nearby fountain. It felt like someone had driven a spiked horse carriage over his heart while his lung were overcrowded by the factory smoke that had him coughing and panting. He should not be thinking such a thought in the first place! It felt like betrayal at its finest, a stab in the back, a push down the stairs.</p><p>When was the last time he thought of Osamu, really thought of him other than a passing notion of  "Oh, Samu would had like that" or "Osamu was the idiot, not me." It arrived by a second and was gone - it had not left the familiar sting of regret of being the one who survived, the throb of guilt for not holding his hand when the wave crash, and the spasm of wistfulness of a youth, carefree days spend together.</p><p>When did he stop grieving?</p><p>He stumbled out of the pavilion; his leg wobbled at the uneven floors but he could not be inside that circular prison a minute longer. Was that all it took? Six months of mourning before a person could look on to a new life without a flinch of guilt or was Atsumu that selfish of a person. Perhaps he had never truly loved Osamu.</p><p><em>Kita, I need to talk to Kita</em> - Kita would know, he would explain, explain the mess that was Atsumu. His hand gasped a smooth surface and not even seeing what it was, he sat down - bend over, head in hands, knees out. Why did it turned out like this? The day had opened with such promise of a romantic scheme, why had it led to hurt feelings, talks of fate, and acceptance of a brother gone? This was not the time or place for such a thought. He should be alone on a gloomy day in which the possibility of the world ending was high, not a beautiful summer day with daisies and roses in bloom. It should be made in solitude in the darkness of his room where he could finally faced the ocean and dried it into a desert - no longer watering it with his tears.</p><p>It felt wrong - as if the sun had really been raising from the west and Atsumu had awaken to a truth but could never let go of the knowledge that sunrise was east- it felt wrong because he should not be fine within six months; he should still be struggling for a year, perhaps even two. That was how long it took for him to accept his mother's death so why was it so easy to accept Osamu?</p><p>Did he truly cared for him?</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>The day inevitably end, as it must, and the Hinatas with Ms. Shimizu and Cesario made their way back to Karasuno by foot under the fading pastel sky. Cesario was talking to Mistress Hinata which had him walking closely behind her and Ms. Shimizu. She was no doubt asking how he was and if there was something the matter but Cesario would not answered. Not when Shouyou had asked the same thing and had received a dull, "it's nothing. Just something on my mind, m'lord."</p><p>Shouyou had been worried when Cesario stumbled out of the pavilion without a single word - his face ashen and the lively spark that was always present in his eyes dulled. He had quickly followed and had been quickly turned away. At first, he thought Cesario was still angry with him but now he was starting to suspect it was another matter for the only time Shouyou had ever seen him so downtrodden was the day they first met when the man had cried his heart out.</p><p>A part of him wanted to take Cesario by his shoulder and shook him to confess so that Shouyou could help him alleviate the pain, so that the confident, lively,  forward Cesario could returned.  Another wanted to take him in his arms and soothed those tense brows. But he hesitated as the memory of the parlor returned and hot shame filled his stomach. The coldness of Cesario's voice rang in his ears for he had never used such a tone with Shouyou  before. The three days Cesario had avoided him like a plague were nothing compare to this because then, Shouyou had been in the dark as to why. Now, he was fully aware of how his behavior had played a part to his favorite's distress and this dragged his heart down as if it was tied to a boulder and was flung into the sea.</p><p>Wanting to relief himself of the guilt, Shouyou looked back to the Manor only to find Kageyama standing beside the entrance door, looking at them - no, looking at Cesario.  This view did nothing to calm the storm within Shouyou; he remembered how Kageyama had also made to follow Cesario but was stopped by Shouyou.  After all Cesario was <em>his</em> servant not Kageyama's. But Kageyama was a stubborn arse; after Cesario had rejected his question, Shouyou had turned around to find his friend standing beside the fountain - his face screwed with worry.</p><p>And now, here was Kageyama with an unguarded look, one that he rarely gave because he was rarely expressive apart from anger or frustration. Shouyou can count the two times he had seen him so unguarded: the night he had found him in the library with the candle and the summer when the two of them had a huge argument which led to them ignoring each other for months.</p><p>This particular look was one of longing, sadness, and pain; at least, those were the words that came to Shouyou's mind as he observed his friend. And that confirmed a thought that had sprang on Shouyou yesterday when Kageyama arrived unannounced with the love letter in hand, asking to see Cesario.</p><p>Kageyama was interested in Cesario.</p><p>It was like being slapped with a red hot poker - the imprint remained hours afterwards and Cesario's instance that he had said nothing to warrant such an interest did not settle Shouyou's wild imagination. So unnerved by the idea, Shouyou had lashed out on Cesario during the mock fencing display last night even though he had promised himself not to tease him like that anymore. This only added to the mountain of remorse that was building in his stomach.</p><p>
  <em>You two look good together!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don't the two of them complement each other?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am in love with a man I can never have.</em>
</p><p>"Kageyama!" Shouyou screamed. His friend turned to him with a jump.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Don't forget your cap during the garden party!"  Shouyou made sure to gave a big smile to which Kageyama returned with a frown. How typical of him.</p><p>"I am not going to forget!"</p><p>"That's what you said last time and you were as red as a lobster by the end of the day!"</p><p>"Shut up!" he growled. Shouyou laughed at the familiarity, his heart lighter by an ounce. He waved goodbye and turned to find Cesario waiting for him. His mother and Ms. Shimizu nowhere to be seen.</p><p>"Oh," Shouyou stumbled, the lightness was gone like a sudden gust of wind had arrived and uprooted the flowers from their stems. "You didn't have to wait for me."</p><p>Cesario shrugged as if to say it was nothing and Shouyou wished he would smile, would look at him in the eye. He never realized how those two were freely given to him - how Cesario's attention was one he never had to sought.  </p><p>Why did it turned out like this?</p><p>The day had not started out great given his row with his mother - a row both knew was inavoidable but they had been doing so well avoiding it for last two years. Until Cesario accidently let out that Shouyou was engaged to Kageyama without his permission or knowledge. Just the thought burned his inside for how could she do this? Mostly when she knew how Shouyou felt about arranged marriages and of Kageyama. And how could she justify her action with claims of it being for his good when Shouyou was sure he would end up hating Kageyama before he even reached the end of the aisle for even agreeing to it? How could Kageyama agreed to it when he had made it perfectly clear marriage was the last thing he wanted - especially now that Shouyou knew he was in love with someone else? That last question had burned in Shouyou's mind as he walked across the field toward the Manor and watched his friend weighted his sword. But he dashed it away because he did not want to make a scene, especially in front of Cesario who had been so supportive even when he looked like he had swallowed a lemon at times. Besides, the day had gotten much better from then - chiefly when Cesario was concern. </p><p>And once again, his thoughts retuned to Cesario. He really shouldn't be surprised for it was becoming a common pattern for the past two months perhaps even more. They had been so happy - laughing in the parlor over Shouyou's forgetfulness that everything had seem right in the world ( in addition to the fact that Shouyou had won a match against Kageyama!) But now, Shouyou's heart felt so raw as if he had rubbed it too much; the uncomfortable silence between him and Cesario  - a silence that was rare and few in between- was not making things better.  But the thing was, Shouyou was also displeased by how Cesario had sneer over his feelings toward Kageyama as if he found Shouyou to be a gullible coward for not acting on his feelings. What was wrong with that? What was wrong with waiting? And to think Shouyou thought Cesario was the romantic one!</p><p> Starting a conversation now was not going to do either of them any good especially when the rawness and hurt was so recent. With that, Shouyou walked on without a single glance at Cesario. But he knew, even in anger and annoyance, Cesario would be by his side. That was another certainty.</p><p>However, he could not help but took a quick look at the manor. To his relief, Kageyama was no-where to be seen and only the Manor's windows remained to see them off.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 8</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita first met the twins when they were only eleven years old but the twins won't properly met him till they were twenty-two. At that time, Kita was a student at the Academy along with Aran. He and Aran had quickly became friends simply for the fact that they worked well together. Not to mention, Kita liked Aran, who despite the serious, intimating aura of power that surrounded him was the most funny, jovial, friendly, and kindest person Kita ever met.  He liked to think that Aran too found him admirable and the moment the thought appeared in his mind, he shook it away as a wistful fancy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like everyone one in Vega, Kita had known of the Miya twins - who their mother was, who their father was, what their existence meant for Astoria, and the various rumors that surrounded them. The most superstitious rumors claimed the twins brought calamity to the land and to anyone who met them; others believed they were possessed by fox spirits at birth; some insisted the mother was a witch and her sons were her familiars; other even dared to wonder if the twins were truly the father's sons for they looked <span class="u">nothing</span> like him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sometimes, when he think no one would notice, Aran would snorted at these talks and rolled his eyes but he never said anything to counteract or give any indication that he knew more than he should. Therefore, Kita never confronted him over it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Until one day, Aran asked Kita if he would like to come with him somewhere. Kita had said yes thinking they would visit a museum or a park. But to his surprise, instead of walking toward the cultural district, Aran had walked in the direction of the Royal Palace. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As the only son of a low-ranking noble family, Aran had some access to the outer ring of the palace. On that day, Kita was taken to the most isolated part of the ring where a small gate was located (no doubt, known to only a handful of people). Before entering, Aran asked him to not say anything and to remain by his side. Now curious even more and wondering if he was about to meet Aran's parents ( the thought turned his stomach a bit) Kita gave his promise. They walked through two gates ( both oversaw by three guards who nodded in greeting at Aran) before they came upon a garden.  Looking beyond the tree trunks, Kita could made out a lake and what seem to be a pavilion at the center.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Giving him a knowing smile and with a finger placed on his mouth, Aran walked into the sun while Kita remained behind in the shade. The still air was suddenly disturbed by a loud cry that shook the birds from their trees.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"ARAN! Aran! Aran!" A blur of black and red ran straight into Aran who let out a loud "oaf." He whipped his arms around like a bird flapping its wings as he placed his right leg behind him so that he and the child wouldn't fall.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Great Sprits! Atsumu, ya really need to stop running into people like this!" Aran exclaimed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu laughed out loud, "I only do it to ya cause ya always did those funny movements!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then, someone jumped on to Aran's back causing him to double over. This person was the exact image of Atsumu except while Atsumu was a whirlwind of movement and energy, this one was more subdued and quieter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Osamu!" Aran groaned in mixed exasperation and fondness. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Aran, didja bring candy - like the one from last time?" Osamu asked. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Look, look, I've been practicing the stance ya showed me." Atsumu had broken off from the human huddle and held out a wooden sword in a fighting stance. "See? See? I'm good, aren't I?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>After he detached Osamu off his back with promise of candy, Aran corrected Atsumu's legs which were too wide apart. Osamu snickered causing his brother to glare at him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Shut it, Samu!" Atsumu hissed. "Aran, are ya gonna stay long? Will ya practice with me? Samu won't do it cause he's that bad."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not true!" Osamu shouted. Kita was surprised by the volume. "Ya been practicin' all night and I wanna sleep. People need sleep to be smart - that why ya gonna be so stupid when ya grow up."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ya the stupid one!" And off the twins went, brawling at each other. Aran looked at this and sighed as if it was a common sight. There was a rustle of movement and a woman appeared next to Aran. She was no doubt the twins' mother: she had Atsumu and Osamu's eyes, dark hair, and face structure - although her was softer. Aran greeted her with a bow to which she returned with a smile and the two talked for a few minutes before the twins tired themselves and seek their mother and Aran's attentions. It was a lovely sight, the four of them, and Kita couldn't help but gave a small smile at the peacefulness of the moment and the obvious affection displayed by the Miyas toward Aran. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And that's how I saved Samu from the snake!" Atsumu finished his retelling with a flourish. Osamu scowled beside him and muttered something that Kita could not hear. Aran looked bemused until Lady Miya told him it was a true story; at that, he became a bit more serious.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Dang, Atsumu. Ya got some guts jumpin' in and savin' Osamu like that," Aran said; Atsumu beamed with pride until he was told to be careful or else he would had gotten hurt. Lady Miya nodded in agreement and said that next time her son should called for adult help. Atsumu scowled even more.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But I'm the eldest!" He said, slamming his hand onto his chest. "I gotta protect Samu cause no else gonna do it!" ("I don't need ya help," Osamu hissed but he was ignored). "It's not just snakes, its people too. Samu never speak up for himself cause he's a coward ("HEY!") but that why I gotta look out for him!" </em>
</p><p><em> <span class="u">What a curious child</span> </em> <em>, Kita thought. Atsumu did not seem to understand the responsibility he was placing onto himself. It may be easier to say you will protect someone, but when the moment of protection came, that was when the burden revealed itself. But then what a <span class="u">normal</span> thing for a child to think: that the world was at their disposal and what they think was right. But from the way Atsumu held himself, even at eleven years old, there was hint of the lack of care he had regarding anything but the three people he was with. He was going to be troublesome when he grew up, there was no doubt about that. </em></p><p>
  <em>Aran could not stayed for long as doing so would mean leaving Kita in the shade for a longer period than kindness would allow. Atsumu was very upset over this. So was Osamu, but as the complete opposite of his twin, he only pouted and held onto Aran's pants while Atsumu questioned why Aran couldn't stay? He was never around anymore and why was Aran so stingy with his time. But the insistent promise by Aran of staying longer during the next visit and the hard look from their mother had the twins letting Aran go. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So what ya think of them?" Aran asked as he and Kita walked back to the academy dorm. "As weird as everyone say?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita did not answered immediately as he reflected on what he had seen and compared it to what he had heard. He supposed he would had to wait a few days to see if any of the predisposed bad luck would come his way but seeing as how Aran was as fine and fit as he was the day Kita met him, he doubt any waiting was required. He thought of Atsumu, that bash child who looked without fear at the adults and the world; then he thought of Osamu, he was as quiet as the rumor had stated but Kita had seen how well he held himself against the incoming boulder that was his brother. As someone who could stop Atsumu when neither his mother or Aran could, Osamu was someone to be reckoned with. But Kita would not deny that there was something <span class="u">lacking</span> in Osamu; what exactly it was he could not say by first meeting alone. However, there was no supernatural dealings, no fox ears or tails; nothing out of the ordinary that one would expect of the Bastard Twins. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, they are completely ordinary," Kita concluded.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Aran laughed out loud. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>***** ***** *****</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why we need a tutor anyway?" Atsumu asked Osamu - the two of them were inside the training hall and believing they were alone, had not bother to keep their voice down. Therefore, Kita, who was on his way to meet with Aran to celebrate his first week of teaching, overheard everything by the open windows</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Pa's idea. Thought we need to know more 'bout our own history," Osamu replied dully. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Since when that jerk-face cared 'bout our schoolin'? And why now?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maybe he didn't want us to embarrass the diplomats for not knowin' anything. He's been pushing us to attend more parties lately."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ohhhh really?" Atsumu sneered. "And here I thought our existences were embarrassment by themselves."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was a loud thump and a sharp cry from Atsumu.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Jeez, dumbass, told ya to tied yer shoes properly," Osamu stated.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ya the dumbass! These are yer shoes!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, serves ya right for stealin' my stuff!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There were sounds of more thumps and clothes rustling. Kita end up late for his meeting with Aran because he spend the next few minutes prying the twins apart and lecturing them on their behavior. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>All of Kita's acquaintances were surprised by his decision to be the twins' tutor and everyone warned him that the twins were impossible to teach or control. Most felt that Kita was too soft, too quiet for them ( when Aran heard this he choked on his tea). Kita knew that most of these warning were from his acquaintances' own beliefs of the twins rather than experiences so he discarded their well-meaning but rude advises and entered the walled-manor with the intention of doing his job and do it well - whatever came his way, he would deal with it according. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The twins were not difficult student to teach - as long as one was unwavering and unwilling to fall down the rabbit hole that was Atsumu and Osamu' s numerous - but unrelated to the lessons- jokes, observations, and attitudes. Fortunately, deviating from the chosen path was not Kita's forte. A look into one of their lessons revealed as such.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita and the twins were looking at various portraits of past kings and queens of Astoria. One of the highlights of the portraits was the elaborate head adornments, which represented the power, dignity, and strength of the sovereign. As such, each adornment was unique to the ruler who wore it. The seventh Queen's crown was embellished with flowers and grains that indicated her mother's agricultural background, which also explained the various agricultural and labor reforms under her rule; while the thirteenth King's was adorned with feathers from his many hunts and the many wars he started. The current king's was filled with beads and cloths that represented the founding clans of the empire- noticeably, the fox of the Miyas was missing despite the family's legacy as the only living descendants of one of the clans. Neither Atsumu nor Osamu were upset over this; instead, they were more interested in making fun of each and every one of the past royals. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Look at this one, he looked like he got an elephant's trunk on his head!"Atsumu stated with a malicious smirk. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not as bad as this one - ya think her head can hold anything more. Goddess, her neck must be thick," Osamu snickered just as nastily. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu snorted. "Sure, but don't ya think that the trunk kinda looked like his-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And how exactly does that pertained to our lesson on symbols?" Kita interrupted. The twins froze and looked at Kita as if they had forgotten he was there. They must had - it wasn't a question of "if" but a question of "when." Osamu floundered for an answer while Atsumu looked the other way.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Atsumu," - the eldest twin flinched and turned toward Kita stiffly- "what were ya sayin'? What does an elephant have to do with our lesson?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu shrugged and folded his arms, "it's just an observation, no need to get so twisted 'bout it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"There's nothin' wrong with making observations. I'm not discouraging ya from it but it's a matter of timin' - what point are ya tryin' to make with this? Or are ya just sayin' this to past the time?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>More guilty fighting from the twins and the rest of class continued with limited interruptions. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita was correct in his observation that Atsumu and Osamu were completely ordinary - like most twenty years old the twins where of the belief that they were adults and need no more supervisions. If problems were to come their way, they could solved it themselves. They were also very motivated individuals - Atsumu more than Osamu- not to mention, innovative and self-aware. They seemed to understand their limits and rather than despaired over them, they pushed themselves to be the best version of themselves. Though, their actions tend to take an unorthodox and unhealthy route ( not to mention spontaneous) and Kita had to spend a good deal showing them the best way to take care of one's body and mind. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But where they differ from most twenty years old was that the twins had yet to learn to live in the world on their own two feet separated from each other. The brothers were very close; they may fight with each other, words and fists, but at the end of the day Atsumu was the first person Osamu talked to and Osamu was the first person Atsumu turned to. Having been raised without being around children their own ages, it was no surprise that such a bond would appeared. But it worried Kita for a bond as deep as that could be a hindrance on personal growth and he worried for Osamu the most. Atsumu was independent and daring enough to not see himself bonded to his twin but Osamu clearly depended on his elder brother's presence especially when confronting other people. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita and Aran were walking in the manor garden when they witnessed Osamu with Akihito, the twins' half-brother. Both men stopped and watched in tense, ready silence for they could see Osamu's body was in a defensive stance while Akihito was aggressive. Each step Akihito took, there was an air of ill-intent in it; Osamu did not moved back but nor did he took on an offensive stance. If anything, he seem to reduce slowly into his shell. Kita was just about to intervene when Akihito grabbed Osamu and slammed him into the wall. Before Kita or Aran could shout or ran, Atsumu was already there - he punched his half-brother without hesitation. It was when Akihito retaliated against Atsumu did Osamu took part in the fight, placing himself between his brother and half-brother. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The twins were punished for this as Akihito's mother believed the attack was of a jealous and malicious nature rather than protection as Kita and Aran tried to explain. Lady Miya's words and pleas could not save her eldest son from the twenty lashes on his bare back while her youngest son was forced to watch the whipping. With each lash, Atsumu's back redden but he did not shout or gave any sound of his discomfort. But each lash was a stab to Kita's heart - Aran's too as the two men stood by Osamu. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu made no sound but his hands were tighten to a fist that bleed and he refused any assistance until he was sure Atsumu's wound were tended to first. Akihito was also there, so was his mother and his uncle - all three of them looked at Atsumu's back in satisfaction and never before had Kita hated people more than those three. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Aran shook his head as another harsh slap sounded. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Akihito was in the wrong," he muttered in disgust - disgust at himself for not intervening quicker, for not being able to reach the father's ear before Akihito's mother got there first. Kita could say nothing for he too felt anger at himself but there was more - this was the first time he witnessed the vendetta the father's family had against the twins and it disgusted him that anyone could hated Atsumu and Osamu for the simple fact that they were <span class="u">born</span>. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>This incident was not the last - in the next two years he would witnessed all kind of insults, punishments, and attempts made toward the twins. Although Kita tried his best to see that none of them reached the brothers, he could not shielded them from everyone and everything. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he did noticed that out of the twins, the one who reacted to these threats and insults was always Atsumu - the world banged its fangs at him, so he banished his fangs at the world. It was Atsumu who talked back; who fought back; who looked at the nobilities, at his step mother, his half brother, his uncle, his father in the eyes - daring them to their worst. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And it was Atsumu who tried to shield Osamu from everyone and everything. </em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>
  <em>There was a spot in the garden that was rarely disturbed by the inhabitants of the Manor or the gardeners - it was a lovely place where a large tree provided shade from the sun and it was not far from the lake so Kita could made out the ripples of the water. At twilight each day, he would leaned against the tree with his eyes closed and ears opened as he allowed the fast-paced world to fade away, leaving him alone with his thoughts and the rustling of the leaves and wind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>About three months into his new job, his sanctuary was disturbed by none other than the twins. Kita's eyelids twitched at the soft thump of their boots on the grass and tree roots but he was so tired that he could not lift his lids open or turned his head. Besides, it seems to him that the twins were trying not to make too much noise as they were speaking in whispers and their footsteps were softer than usual. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Couldn't believe he sleep like this - he's human after all," Atsumu gaffed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Shusssh, idiot! Ya'll wake him," Osamu muttered. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was a rustling sound that reminded Kita of curtains unfolding against the rough wind; then, something light fell over his entire front saved for his face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"This should keep him warm," Osamu whispered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"All that time tellin' us not to wear to lightly so we won't catch a cold and here he's out here, sleepin'! Hey, if he catch a cold, ya think we can say, 'told ya so?'"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu chuckled and muttered something back. The twins' steps faded away along with their voices. After a few seconds, Kita peeked under his eyelashes to find himself alone with a blanket over him. </em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>
  <em>Chika Miya's funeral was a very small affair as both of her parents were long since dead. Her lover's family never considered her as one of their own and she was too proud to beg for their acceptance. She looked down on them just as much as they her but she always felt her contempt was more in the right than their were. Therefore, the only family she had was her two sons and they were one of the few who stayed for the entirety of the funeral which was three days long as per custom. The other audiences were Lord and Lady Ojiro and their son, Aran. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita, too, stayed for the three days despite only being with the Miyas for seven months. He felt it was only right to pay respect to her not just because she was his employer or the mother of his students but because she was an extraordinary person who deserved all the love and respect in the world and whom he deeply admired. The twins' father came on the first day only. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was the third time Kita had seen the man in person. The first was when he applied for the tutor position, the second was when he was presenting the twins' grade - in both instances, Kita could not say he liked what he saw. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>At first sight, the father looked like a moving corpse, his eyes were dull with dark shadows underneath, his hair - despite their neatness- hang before him as the willows' leaves, and he walked in a slouch as if every movement brought him pain. When he came upon the coffin, he was kneeled down with a heavy thump the shook the room and Kita's rib-cage. The man's shoulders shook and his eyes down-casted. For the first time, the father was showing himself as a human being capable of despair. Kita almost felt sorry for him but he loved Atsumu and Osamu more and could only looked in disapproval as the father looked, and only looked, at Lady Miya's body.  She was the only one he saw, not the flowers, not the Ojiros ( although Lord Ojiro tried to speak to him), not Kita, and certainly not his sons. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu looked forward with a determined air that both acknowledged and ignored his father's presence; Osamu looked at his father occasionally, with a hopeful gleam at first that slowly dulled and disappeared. The father left without a single glance or word of his sons' wellbeing- of what was to become of them-  to either Kita or the Ojiros. It would be three months before the father remembered the twins ( during that time, Atsumu and Osamu lived with Aran). Lady Miya had once confessed to Kita that she hoped for her sons to have a good relationship with their father; but looking at the disappearing back of the man, Kita knew that Lady Miya's last wish was never to be fulfilled. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Another figure graced the funeral on the second day and it was the day Atsumu blew up as everyone was waiting for him to. Lady Mika Yamaka was the twins' cousin and the only one of the father's family who acknowledged the twins as her family. Aran had said that as a child, she used to play with Osamu; Atsumu for some reason had taken an instant dislike of her and always made himself scarce when she came over. She arrived on the early hours of the morning with Suguru Daishou, a son of one of the palace guard. Her presence was first acknowledged by Osamu who greeted her with a  dull 'hello;' this caught Atsumu's attention who looked at her with narrowed eyes that was meant to insult. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What are ya doin' here?" Atsumu sneered. Lady flinched while Daishou growled in warning. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am here to pay my respects," Lady Mika said, "Lady Miya-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Save it. We don't need ya respects and we certainly don't need ya mockery," Atsumu spitted causing Lady Mika to flush but she made no action to move away. Kita and Aran looked at each other and both stood ready to intervene; Aran by Daishou while Kita and Osamu looked over Atsumu. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am not here to mock anyone. I do respect her and I am heart-broken of her passin'."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"How many times ya practice that in front of a mirror?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hey," Daishou explored, taking a step forward. "Don't speak to her like that."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm gonna speak to her however I want!" Atsumu too had taken a step. Osamu immediately placed himself before him with a stern, "Atsumu, shut up."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu looked even more thunderous and the target of his anger turned to his twin. "What the fuck, Samu? Why ya always on her side? She could care less if we're dead - probably would danced over our graves."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"As oppose to uncle who would had thrown a whole-ass party - just shut yer mouth before ya hurt yerself." With that Osamu turned to Lady Mika and apologized on his twin's behalf. Atsumu looked at his brother for a full minute before he hissed something in his ears. Osamu did not responded so Atsumu glared at Lady Mika and Daishou one less time before stomping away. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Aran made to follow him but Kita took hold of his shoulder and nodded his head toward Osamu. Aran nodded and stayed behind while Kita followed the sound of thunder toward the garden pavilion. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu walked around its boundaries as a caged tiger who was slowly descending to madness at the limited space. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That was very rude of you," Kita began and Atsumu whipped his head around with a low growl. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So? I'm always rude; it's not like it's out of my behavior."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That does not justify it especially when Lady Mika had taken the time to come here."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh, here we go - precious, <span class="u">nice</span> Lady Mika. What? Ya went me to nice to her just cause she didn't sneer at us in the face? When her whole-ass family bein' doin' it? Forget it!" Atsumu stomped toward one of the pavilion railing and leaned on it with folded arms. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And you acting like a child make you in the right? Tell me, how does hauling insults and walkin' out convince anyone of your argument?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu struggled for a bit as he tried to find a reason that paint his past action in a favorable light but Kita did not had to wait long to see such an endeavor failed. Instead, Atsumu contiuned on to insist that Mika was the one in the wrong.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't trust her."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why? From what I see and what I heard, she had done nothing for you to think so."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Because she's a snake!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Again, what make you say that? What about her personality that you find lacking? What of her actions you find insulting?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Because she is nice!" Atsumu exploded like lighting on a calm day as he leapt onto his feet. "She is nice to me and Osamu when she had no reason to. And people are only nice to us because they want something - I don't know what her angle is but I swear she is not the innocent lamb she presented herself to be. I mean, look at the guy she hang out with."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Daishou? What does he have anything to do with this?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He's Nohebi." Kita could not stopped his surprise from showing, which caused Atsumu to grin in satisfaction. Nohebi explained many things: why Daishou always wore long-sleeved clothing and gloves - no doubt to hide the tattoos that all members of the clan had. There was also the air of secrecy and smugness that surrounded the young man as if he had insight on issues others did not. Not to mention his closeness to Lady Mika. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If what you say is true then that's all the more reason to not antagonize Lady Mika," Kita said. Atsumu growled in frustration as started pacing again. Kita gave him a few minutes so that if he had any grievance, he could air it out. But his charge gave nothing while his movement became more and more agitated. Kita privately sighed in his head, feeling a bit tired. Atsumu was a hurricane on his worst days and although Kita liked to think that he had a better understanding to what make Atsumu ticked - there were moments when his charge's emotions were difficult to reason with. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ya want me to apologize?" Atsumu's tone made it clear that was the last thing he was doing. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I want you to do what is right - look at the situation. Anyone lookin' in will see that you are wrong and will use this against you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu snored and looked away but Kita was not deterred. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Atsumu, Lady Mika is your family, and" - Kita raised his voice a bit for Atsumu had opened his mouth to retaliate- "she is a possible ally. You need allies, both you and your brother, because your only protector is gone." This stopped his charge's mounting anger and he looked at Kita with wide eyes. "You survive with your life when you punched Akihito because of your mother. You and Osamu get to live here and travel because of her. Your father only looked after you because of her." It was a harsh thing to say especially at a funeral but nothing but hard facts are going to get Atsumu to understand the danger of his situation. "Atsumu, can you say with certainty you know where your future is heading? Do you know where you are to live? Do you think the servants will remain loyal to you when your father is the one paying their wages, when your father had their lives in his hand? Do you think that the nobilities are going to stop tormenting you?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu's shoulders shook but he did not answered because he already knew the answer. Like a switch, Atsumu was no longer an incoming storm but a child cowering in the corner as the thunder roared.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Whatever ya may think of Lady Mika, the point is that she come and whatever her reasons may be, you should look at it in light of your present situation. I am not discouraging your anger, your feelings - you have every right to feel the way you do. But that does not mean everyone will understand. They may take your anger as exaggeration, your fears as paranoia, and your protectiveness toward Osamu as unnecessary. Atsumu, you may not care what other think of you but they matter because they will affect how they treat you and Osamu. "</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was a cloudy day and the last bit of light was slowly diminishing with the heavy presence of gray - they would had to set out the cover so that the funeral room would not be flooded and the mourners won't get wet. And Kita would had to ensure that Atsumu did not spend an unnecessary amount of time in the rain, a fever in the middle of a funeral was not good thing - in a practical or superstitious sense. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm not in the wrong," Atsumu whispered, his voice shook. "I'll accept her condolences but I'm not gonna apologize. I think I'm still right in what I feel so don't think this change anything."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not entirely surprised but glad to had calmed the storm for a few more days, Kita nodded and he steered his charge back into the funeral room just as the first drop of rain appeared. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>***** ***** *****</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-<span class="u">one months after the shipwreck, four months and twenty days before the Summer Festival-</span></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu had awaken from another bout of nightmare and had pounded on Kita's room in short breath and heated skin. With a shawl and a coat, the two men had walked to the garden as they had done many times before. But that night, Kita knew it was not just the nightmare that was keeping Atsumu up. His shoulders were tense and his entire body tingled with a rage so strong that it would had crumbled the mountains with a single blow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Atsumu, do you think you will ever forgive yerself in the future? What happened was out of yer control -" Kita started but Atsumu pushed away from him and started walking further into the garden. It had snowed that afternoon and most of the garden was untouched. Atsumu kicked the fine powder, disrupting the smooth surface as if he was so offended that the world dare to function as normal when his world was falling apart. Kita could only stayed next to him and let his rage ran its course. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, it's not!" Atsumu snarled. "I know I can't control the weather or the ship. But - but at least I could have make sure he was beside me the whole time. You can't say that wasn't my fault! I was there, I had him next to me, he was holding me close, and I didn't grab him. It's always turning in my head, that one moment. If only I grab him, I said to myself, if only I held him then he would be here. How can ya ask me to forgive myself of that?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita had always assumed that Atsumu would had an easier time living without Osamu since he never seem to depend too much on him but he saw now how wrong he was. Atsumu protected Osamu from the world, and Osamu protected Atsumu from his own self-destructive tendency. Atsumu could had been far more aggressive toward the nobilities, to Akihito. But most of the time, Osamu would pulled his twin to his side, either with words or first, and was able to distract him from doing something that would had gotten him in trouble. Osamu was quiet but he was also observant and he was far in tune to what make other people tick and the effect they had on each other so he knew exactly what line Atsumu should not cross. Atsumu had depended on Osamu to be his conscience, to look after his mood, aggression, and greed. Now, without his twin, Atsumu was lost as to how to handle his own emotions - how to handle his guilt as the surviving twin and of having to live in the world by himself. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The brothers were close and both had depended on each other for the past twenty four years. Of course, Atsumu would felt the blunt of this severed connection - one that Kita could never understand. Thus, he could not say anything but stared at his charge. He did not flinched at the glare Atsumu had given him for he knew he was a replacement to the true target of his charge's anger. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>For the first time, a feeling of helplessness came over Kita and he wished that he could wiped it away as well as Atsumu's grief. But grief was a difficult process especially when Kita himself was dealing with the loss of Osamu too. Atsumu did not blame him for what happened but Kita felt he shared some of the responsibility. After all, it was his duty to ensure the twins reached their destination; it was what he promised Aran.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita closed his eyes as his heart thumped in a heavy rhythm and a chill ran down his body from the nonexistent wind, he wished Aran was here; he would know what to say, what to do when dealing with an out-of-control Atsumu. But most of all, Kita wanted Aran here for himself. He wanted to be held by him and allowed by him to let lose his own guilt over Osamu's death and over Atsumu's spiraling emotional stability. He wanted to share his grief with Aran, who always had a rebuttal for all of Kita's logics; who always insisted Kita to share his feeling and to simply feel.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="u">"Ya don't hafta think too much of it," Aran had once told him. "If ya happy, ya happy. Ya need no words to explain it - just feel it. Isn't it better to laugh with yer friend just cause yer happy than think it over by yerself?"</span> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He missed Aran, his solid, unwavering presence; his own brand of logic; his laughter that never failed to brighten Kita's day; his kindness and caring nature that reminded Kita that he too deserved to be cared for and loved. But Aran was in Astoria as it was too dangerous for him to openly show his support for the twins because he still had a family. Kita, on the other hand, had no family - his grandmother had died a year before he took the tutor position. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita had always thought that there was nothing in the world he would had difficulties accepting - if something had not went the way he expected, he would not throw a fuss but go about it to the best of his ability. Life, however, had a way of throwing curveballs at you; testing the limits of how well you know yourself. For Kita, it was his grandmother's death. It was not something he could closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then go about his days. Her missing presence followed him for days to the point he found he had no energy to leave his bed at times. Death was always a certainty- Kita knew that and he expected it but that did not make her passing any easier.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In the end, routine, Aran, and the Miyas had been the lines that tied him back to the land of living. Teaching the twins had given him a reason to get up, folded his beddings, washed his body, eat his breakfast, and walked to the manor; walking with Aran had given him a reason to talk, to laugh, to cry, to not be stuck in his own head; drinking tea with Lady Miya every evening had given him time to reflect out loud and to reread his philosophy books. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Aran and the Miyas were the closest he had to a family.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lady Miya's death was bearable only because Kita had others to share his grieve with. Osamu's death was unbearable because it was preventable- if only Kita had kept his charges close to him. But he had no one to talk to for he was in a foreign land under a false name. The only one who knew was Atsumu, who could barely contained his own grief, how was he to handle Kita's?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He should be here," Atsumu exclaimed to the inky night sky as he kicked the snow once more and all Kita could do was watch. </em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>
  <em>-<span class="u">two months and twenty days after the shipwreck, three months before the Summer Festival-</span></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Daichi's office was tight but cozy with a small fireplace and an equally small window that opened to the garden. The weather was becoming warmer and it won't be long before Kita would be down on his kneels nurturing the plants of Karasuno. He already had some ideas on what he wanted to plant and what he should do. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He told Daichi all this over their cups of hot chocolate. It was after dinner and most of Karasuno staff was finishing their last chores or preparing for bed. The Mistress and her children should be in bed unless Lord Shouyou had one of his bouts of sleeplessness that had him occupying the libarary late into the night, studying. Kita had been opened of his disapproval as his lordship should find someway to combat this issue rather than let it ran its course. Daichi had agreed and the two men spend a good hour talking about their young charges' tendencies to be reckless with their bodies before they fell into silence as they slipped their hot chocolate.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita did not find the silence unwelcoming or awkward because it was Daichi. In a way, the head butler reminded him of Aran with their steady presence that hold down the chaotic and eccentric personalities around them. Kita was forever thankful for the head butler was just the sort of person who did not get easily swayed by Atsumu's antisocial, erratic habits. And Atsumu needed all the stability he could get during this time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"How are you these days? We haven't talk in awhile," Daichi said. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita slowly placed his cup back onto his saucer as he thought the past week over. Another reason he had gotten along with Daichi was due to the head butler's observant and caring nature. After his first month in Karasuno, Kita was taken by Daichi to this very office and was asked him how he was. When Kita had turned the question toward Atsumu's well-being, the head butler had shook his head and again asked how was <span class="u">Kita</span> doing. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You were on that boat too," Daichi had said, his voice gentle, "forgive me if I sound impertinence, but you too should be kinder to yourself and looked after yourself." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>From that moment on, Daichi had became Kita's confident just as much as Kita was Daichi's. But it took Kita another month before he let the head butler in on his decreasing confidence in being of any help to Atsumu. Although he did not mentioned Osamu, Kita was sure Daichi understood that both he and Atsumu were grieving. It had been a relief to talk to Daichi - he never asked for more and he always listened until Kita's throat was raw from prolonged usage. He soothed the worries that crept up, validated the fears, and reminded Kita that he was doing the best that he could. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was like what Aran had said, <span class="u">Better to have it out then kept it in</span>. Sometimes, during these moments, Kita could almost imagined Aran by his side, his arms around him as he laid his forehead on his. <span class="u">Kita, ya need to get out of yer head sometimes. Talk to me, I'm here.</span> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am well - I thought I might had gotten a cold the other day because I had a faint ache in my temples near the end of the day. But with some water and a night sleep, I was fine the next day. But that does not mean I am out of the wood just yet," Kita said.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Daichi chuckled. "This is the season for colds and running noses - thankfully, we were well-prepared this winter."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Very well-prepared," Kita agreed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Coming from you, that is a sure sign we are in the right direction. Would you like to take a day off, just in case?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita thought it over and said, "as of right now I am fine so I will hold off on that but don't worry, you will be sure to know if it gets worse."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I can always trust you to take care of yourself."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita smiled. "Still, it does not hurt to be reminded from time to time. Sometimes, we can get lost in our heads that our own nature and habit goes against us." A moment of silence as the hot chocolate warmed his throat, heart and lungs.  "How have Cesario seem to you?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Daichi hummed over his cup as his brows lowered in thought. "His work has gotten much better compare to last month," - he gave out a tired sign- "though I can't say the same for his attitude - some of the maids are still scare of him. But he and Nishinoya are finally getting along. Thank goddess, and here I thought Nishinoya is an easy fellow but Atsumu really pushed his button. Oh, and don't get me started on him and Sakusa -  I swear I go to bed worried of finding a dead body the next day."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita internally grimaced. Atsumu's upbringing had made the transition to service life difficult and made him an outcast among the Karasuno staff. It did not help that his charge had a habit of looking down on everyone he deemed inadequate or boring. Kita had already talked to hm about this attitude several times but the thing about upbringing was that they were difficult to turn off. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Although-" Daichi suddenly looked pensive as he stared out the window. Kita gave his friend a few minutes to gather his thoughts before asking, "yes?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, I notice that Cesario had been spending time with his lordship of late."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, I have noticed it too. Is it a problem? Have his lordship been complaining about this?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, in fact its quite the opposite," - Daichi turned to him with a even more perplexed look- "his lordship seem to be of the belief that Cesario is the most funniest, interesting person he had met in a while!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kita could only blinked which promoted Daichi to expand on his point - of how the Lord Shouyou had been taking Cesario with him as he go riding in the country side and how the two men could be found in some corner of the land in a huddle, talking the day away. Kita had knew of this for he had witnessed it himself. In truth, he encouraged Atsumu to take Lord Shouyou's offers for he could see the positive effect they had despite his charge's insistance in acting otherwise. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Would such a relationship be an issue to the family?" Kita asked as he pinpointed the main cause of Daichi's worry.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The head butler hesitated. "There is nothing improper - at least from what I see but I feel that Cesario should be careful to not expect much from this."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Excuse me?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am not saying that Lord Shouyou is reckless or irresponsible, he is but that is another matter. What I am saying that Cesario should not take this closeness as any indication of interest from his lordship's part."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am sure it won't come to that." Though privately, Kita could see Diachi's worry for he too had the same thought. "Lord Shouyou - he seems disinterested in finding a spouse."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't really blame him. Especially since his father-" Daichi grimaced and shook his head which indicated the end of the subject and Kita accepted it. The rest of the time was past in a more mundane manner about very mundane subjects. It was altogether a very peaceful moment. </em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>
  <em>-four days before the Summer Festival-</em>
</p><p>Under the dying sky, Atsumu found Kita in the garden. Since he was done with the day's work, his former tutor was sitting on one of the benches which surrounded the fountain with an open book on his lap, his head facing up, eyes closed. The garden was his kingdom, the plants were his subjects; just as he had taken care of them throughout the day, his plants shaded him, protected him in his moment of rest. This was not an unusual sight for Atsumu to come upon during twilight and he always found these moments never failed to calm his raging heart. But that evening, after the emotional upheaval in the Manor garden, Atsumu was struck by how sad the scene made him feel. As if all the flowers, the grass, and the hedges had dull in reflection to their master's emotional tumor.</p><p>Kita, sad?</p><p>Those two words were a juxtaposition - in fact, any emotion other than stoicism was a juxtaposition when it came to Kita. Atsumu had once muttered to Osamu that Kita might had been an automation when they first saw their tutor; Osamu had laughed. Aran, who was behind them at the time, had bonked them both in the head and scolded them for being the rude ass they were. Atsumu liked to think that he and Osamu had gotten better in how they treated Kita but he was always put out by the man's lack of facial expression and his considerate power of logical reasoning. Atsumu could never win an argument with him; at first, this was frustrating, but it slowly made its way to fear mixed with respect and admiration. Never before had someone looked at him and Osamu and said they were wrong and proceed to explain in the most simplest term where and why they were wrong and what they could do to correct it ( Aran usually despaired at the twins' illogical, impractical way of doing things, which had been a source of entertainment for them).</p><p>Atsumu had came to the garden to let out his inner storm onto Kita so that his former tutor could smooth the waves because that was who Kita had became to Atsumu. He was <em>the string to Atsumu's kite, the anchor to Atsumu's boat</em>. Any worry, however irregular or random, Kita would listened to him - he never made Atsumu feel stupid for thinking the way he did, never made Atsumu feel wrong for grieving for Osamu the way he did. Anyone else would had gotten tired of him by the second month, which was the time Atsumu's moods were at their worse.</p><p>What was it that Ennoshita had said, Atsumu was <em>like a leaf in a wind</em>. Yes, Atsumu could now say he was indeed less purposeful, less living in those early two months especially compare to now when he awaken each day looking forward to it; smiling brightly when he saw hint of sun rise against the pastel sky, when he hear the familiar chatter of the Karasuno staff, and when he heard Lord Shouyou called his name. He was happy here and he thought Kita was too.</p><p>But just like how he failed to consider Osamu as properly as he should, Atsumu had failed to consider Kita's feeling.</p><p>He remembered a moment about four months ago, when he was in the lowest of low in his grief, he had contemplated on hitting Kita because he had found the man's lack of emotion infuriating and mocking. It was as if Kita was saying Atsumu was weak to feel as he did. Of course that was the last thing Kita was saying but Atsumu had played victim because anything that was not about himself, his own feelings, were not worth his time.</p><p>Hot shame filled Atsumu's stomach and heart. What a selfish person he was, here he was a minute away from ruining Kita's peace with his own storm because he could never get himself out of his head and considered the feelings of those around him. </p><p>Kita could had walked out. He was not well-known among the Astorian aristocracy to be of much importance; he could had simple disappeared and made a new life for himself, away from the troublesome role he had taken as Atsumu's guardian. Instead, he continued to teach Atsumu of the larger world, guide Atsumu in his grief, support Atsumu in his determination to be the perfect valet, and listen to Atsumu in his lowest moments. He had nothing to gain from helping Atsumu; after all, his life would had been different if he had not followed Atsumu and Osamu that night. Aran too.</p><p>Where was Aran now? The last Atsumu had saw of his childhood friend was in the docks of Dors, a port city miles from Vega. Aran had stood tall among the sailors and traders as he took Atsumu by his shoulders and told him that they will meet again. That was a promise Aran made and Aran always kept his promise. Atsumu had dreamed, in the early months, of Aran appearing before the main doors of Karasuno, taking Atsumu and Kita away. But as days passed and as Atsumu became more content with his life in Karasuno, he stopped waiting for his childhood friend and started praying for his safety. That Aran's treachery was not discovered, that he was alive and well, that he survived the journey across the sea if he ever undertook it.</p><p>Kita was no doubt still waiting for Aran to keep his promise. When was the last time Atsumu asked Kita how he was feeling? Did he ever talked to his former tutor about Aran because Kita wanted to talk about him not because Atsumu wanted to? And of Osamu? Atsumu was not the only one who had known him - Kita did as well.</p><p>"Atsumu?" Kita's voice, quiet and steady, rang across the open space; Atsumu found his eyes ached with a stinging pain as if dust had flown through them. "What's the matter?"</p><p>Clearing his throat and shaking his head, Atsumu walked toward Kita and took a seat next to him. Kita folded his legs, closed his book, and set his back straight - ready to listen to what Atsumu had to say and what advice to give.</p><p>"<em>Kita, are you happy here</em>?"  Atsumu asked instead. Unable to look at his former tutor in the eye, he focused on his hands, feeling a bit embarrassed as if he was a child asking his parent a very personal question concerning said parent and the child was unsure if they really wanted to hear the answer.</p><p>Kita hummed as he leaned back. Atsumu could imagined his passive face staring straight at the hedges or the sky as he reflected on the question - turned it around in his head, looked at it from side to side, and compared it to the past months before coming to his conclusion.</p><p>"<em>I believe I am as content I can be here as I can be anywhere</em>," Kita said quietly. "<em>After all, I have food in my belly, a roof over me, clothes by my side, there is nothing here for me to be upset over. Not to mention, the garden is doing well and there is always something to do here</em>."</p><p>"<em>It's a simple yes or no question, Kita. You don't need to write an essay to say you happy</em>," Atsumu muttered, a bit perturbed.</p><p>Kita laughed out loud which shock Atsumu so much he stared, wide-eyed, at his former tutor. He had never heard him laughed this much.</p><p>"<em>Aran used to tell me the same thing</em>," Kita choked between laughter. "<em>He always gets frustrated that I could never say a yes or no. You are like Aran at times. </em>"</p><p>Atsumu smiled, "<em>bet he's not going to like that comparison</em>."</p><p>"<em>No, I suppose not</em>." Kita's laughter had subdued to small chuckles. "<em>But you right. I'm happy here and I'm glad to have met the people in Karasuno and the Manor - they are good people</em>."</p><p>"<em>They are</em>." Annoying and confusing  at times, but all the same, the very best that Celestian country side had to offer.</p><p>"<em>Are you happy, Atsumu</em>?"</p><p>"<em>Nope, nope</em>," Atsumu loudly exclaimed, "<em>we aren't doing that. This is about you- we can come to me on a later date</em>."</p><p>"<em>Are you sure, you looked very down a minute ago</em>."</p><p>"<em>I was done but I'm feelin' better now cause I know you happy. Kita, I am glad that I got to know you not just for these six months but for the past two years. People always say that I was born under an unlucky star but I think I'm lucky cause I got to know you. You helped me these months and I know I wasn't the easiest to be with but you stick with me</em>." Atsumu turned so that he and Kita were eye to eye. "<em>Thank you for everything. I am so happy that I got to meet you.</em>"</p><p>Kita's eyes widen. He looked down before looking up; for the first time, he seem to be lost for words. Then, a tear came down his cheek followed quickly by another - Atsumu was horrified.</p><p>"K-Kita, are ya okay? Did I say somethin- did ya need something? Should I-" Atsumu started getting up but Kita lightly petted his lap.</p><p>"No, no its okay," Kita said, tear still raining down his cheeks as he used his free hand to wipe them off. Atsumu took out a handkerchief from his breast pocket and handed it to Kita who used it to dapped his cheeks. After a few seconds of awkward silence, awkward on Atsumu's part for never had he imagined he could made Kita cry ... or that Kita could cry, his former tutor spoke.</p><p>"<em>The truth was I wasn't feeling my best today as well. I woke up with a heavy feeling in my chest but after doing what I have to do for the day, I felt a bit lighter. It was only here when I was resting did the heavy feeling came back and I suppose I was more tired than usually. So hearing you say that makes me happy, because it's the same for me too, Atsumu. I am happy to have you in my life and that I have gotten to know you</em>." Kita looked up with a soft smile that pierce into Atsumu's heart, causing the stinging in his eyes to return at full force.</p><p>"<em>D-don't say it like, Kita</em>!" Atsumu gasped as he felt something hot filled his eyes. "Ahhh, it's so windy today! Dust are gettin' in my eyes!" Kita laughed softly and gave his handkerchief back but Atsumu shook his eyes and used his sleeve to rub his eyes.</p><p>"<em>You know</em>," Atsumu gasped over another burst of dust in his eyes, " <em>Aran will find you</em>," -Kita's eyes widen again making more tears flowed down- "<em>he promised to find us and I know he will. Maybe it will take him a few more months but he will find you because that what you deserve and will get</em>!"</p><p>"<em>That is a possibility</em>-" Kita stared, his eyes turning a bit sad but not on Atsumu's watch.</p><p>"<em>No, its a fact! He's going to find you and you will be with him again cause Aran never break his promise! You have to agree with that</em>!" Atsumu did not bother to rubbed his sleeve over his eyes again because he needed Kita to understand this - that there was more happiness to come.</p><p>Kita wanted to argued against that, probably with a discussion on the probability of fate, promise, and life but looking into Atsumu's determined eyes, Kita knew that his young charge would bring down heaven if it meant proving himself right. Kita smiled, <em>troublesome indeed</em>. And besides, isn't that what Kita wanted as well, to know that Aran was safe and to see him again. And so, for the first time in his life, Kita concurred to Atsumu - just this once.</p><p>"I agreed."</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>-<em>three days before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>Atsumu's attic room was small with only a bed, a table, chair and a dresser - in truth Atsumu did not need much but the room had made him feel claustrophobic at times especially after a nightmare. Tonight - or in the early morning - his room felt so big as Atsumu laid on his back, staring into the ceiling. It was not that he was feeling agitated that he couldn't sleep or too depressed that sleep seem tiring but his body was alive, his sense were tingling that any creak or squeak had his nerve firing in alert.</p><p>He had never felt so awake than that night.</p><p>He and Kita had spend the rest of twilight in quiet conversation, starting with Kita recounting some of the plants he was thinking about growing and then the talk turned to what the Summer Festival would be like and whether Kita wanted to visit it once during the four days ( "I suppose," Kita said, "I would like to visit the shrine at least"). Occasionally, the two sat in quiet meditation, listening to the fountain behind them and the random tapping of heel on stone.</p><p>Osamu entered their conversation only twice - the first time was when Atsumu was describing the fencing match which Kita claimed to had reminded him of two people who would had gone all out as well and the second time was when Kita followed on the pervious observation by noting that the technique Lord Tobio used was a favorite of Osamu, didn't he taught Atsumu that? Atsumu reluctantly admitted that yes, Osamu was the first to use it but Atsumu was the one to perfect it. Beside, Atsumu was always the better swordsman than Osamu, who had always preferred hand-to-hand combat.</p><p>It was easier to talk about Osamu then he realized. Atsumu had thought his heart might had choked with guilt over the casualness. But instead, his heart felt lighter and more content as the memory of his twin standing in front of him, showing the technique came to mind ("And ya said I'm the amateur." Osamu had sneered, "ya the one who keep on gripping it wrong, scrub!") Atsumu laughed and shared this with Kita, who then commented on a time Osamu had gotten Atsumu in trouble when he raided the kitchen. No one had believed Atsumu when he insisted it was his twin who did it, no one but Kita who only had to look at Osamu before the whole story came out.</p><p>"<em>I was always blamed on things Osamu did</em>!" Atsumu had shook his head in mock indignation.</p><p>Finally, as the two were returning to the house with the waning moon slowly illuminating the dark sky, Atsumu asked, "<em>do you think I love Osamu less</em>?" He meant to asked this as casually as he could but it came out small and unsure.</p><p>Kita answered he did not and when Atsumu asked how he knew that, his former tutor simply smile and said, "<em>because its you. You won't have been so angry at the world when he died if youdidn't and you won't have been so upset today if you didn't. It feels good to talk about him doesn't it? That is one way you and I can honor his memory, by talking about him to others. Of course, that is not for me to decide alone. You can decide to keep him your secret or to share him. Regardless of what you choose, I know it is always out of love</em>."</p><p>And he left Atsumu behind standing in shock.</p><p><em>Really, Kita's power of observation should had a limit</em>!  Atsumu thought as he turned to his side with a huff. The waning moon had gifted Atsumu's room with an vexing source of light that he also blamed his lack of sleep on. The pale light shone onto his desk where the black ball of orange fluff that Lady Natsu had won him in the fete stood.</p><p>Atsumu reached for the doll as he rolled onto his back. He looked over it once before throwing it in the air, catching it as it fell and throwing it again.</p><p>The sad clouds that had hang over him for most of the evening had dispersed after his talk (and cry) with Kita and Atsumu could looked back to his behavior and words of the afternoon with a more distant eyes. He still stood by his belief that fate have little to do with love but he wondered if he could had said it better without sounding so condescending. And why did he had to mention his parents, Aran, and Kita ( even if it was indirect) when they had nothing to do with his lordship? And what on earth made him think confessing indirectly was a good idea?</p><p>He would had to talk to Lord Shouyou - that was a given for he still wanted to continue their talk. He wanted to hear Lord Shouyou's side of this: what did he meant when he said there was some things Atsumu was right about and something he was wrong about? And did anything Atsumu said changed his lordship's views his own relationship with Lord Tobio or in how he view his own actions in said relationship? Atsumu could talked himself around each issue but there would be no definite answer unless given by his lordship himself.</p><p>A toss up and down the ball went.</p><p>But what Atsumu could do was think of his own actions and his own feelings. His indirect confession was a mistake - it led to nothing and perhaps he only said it because he wanted to see his lordship's reaction. Wanted him to know that he was not the only one suffering from an unrequited love. But that won't do and so Atsumu reminded himself of the promise he made.</p><p>This was not his love story; he was only a side character at best.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>The morning found Atsumu and Ennoshita in his lordship's room helping Lord Shouyou get dressed. The first time Atsumu had seen this happened, it had taken all his concentration to not be a blushing mess and to not have his thought deviate to a very dangerous path. His lordship, the teaser he was, had happily asked Atsumu if he was feeling well and if he needed to have the windows open because "Cesario, your face looked a little flushed!" Atsumu denied the suggestion with such grace and control that even he was at awe at himself. After everything was set and done, Atsumu washed his face vigorously in the servant's bathroom as if the spirit of Sakusa had taken over him and he realized how dirty his face was. </p><p>Now, this was the third time and still Atsumu could not stop himself from staring far longer than propriety allowed when Lord Shouyou took off his night shirt because dang it, why was he so well formed and how Atsumu wanted to touch him or had his lordship wrapped his arms around him so that Atsumu could died a happy man .</p><p>Ennoshita was the one who did the dressing while Atsumu was to ready the clothing and brushes on the side while observing the process. It was ritualistic, the way both Lord Shouyou and Ennoshita moved in complete harmony without a single word of instruction unless Ennoshita asked for specific and Lord Shouyou returned or Lord Shouyou instructed for specific and Ennoshita followed. Atsumu wondered if it was the same between Lord Shouyou and Sakusa especially since Omi-Omi was his lordship's permanent valet. That being said, he thanked the Goddess every day that it was Ennoshita who was teaching him and not Sakusa because heaven only know what Omi-Omi might tell the mistress. But then, if Ennoshita noticed the gazed, dreamily looked that came upon Atsumu when his lordship walked around half-naked or in unbuttoned shirt, he never said anything but only smiled knowingly (Atsumu was not sure which one was worse).</p><p>"-don't you think, Cesario?"</p><p>Atsumu jumped, in which he almost bumped into the dressing table and knocked the brushes off.</p><p>"Umm, what?" Atsumu asked as he found Lord Shouyou looking at him as he buttoned his cuff while Ennoshita was behind him, brushing any wrinkle off his dark jacket.</p><p>"I was wondering if you are nervous for tonight, you will be serving the dinner with Sawamura and the others, correct?" Lord Shouyou repeated.</p><p>"Yeah," Atsumu nodded, "D- Mr. Sawamura thought that I'm ready since he was thinkin' of having me serve during yer party as well. So this is kind of a test run to see if I can hold a tray without knocking it over." Which Atsumu was sure it won't happen. But Aihara had raised her eyebrow in doubt and Atsumu was even more determined to prove himself. "I am not that worry - I know I can do."</p><p>"As confident as always but I agree. You have my vote. What do you say, Ennoshita, do you think Cesario is ready to take on the task?"</p><p>"Certainly," Ennoshita said as he placed the brush back onto the table. "Cesario had been doing well in everything so I don't see any problem happening tonight."</p><p>Atsumu beamed. "I got good balance anyway. And yeah, I know I dropped some stuff at the beginning but that's only cause my mind's on somethin' else. When I was a kid, my brother and I used to play on a tight rope and I always got across far quicker than him. I also can carry more books on my head than him." He paused as he realized what he had admitted to. A shot of panic rang from his legs to the base of his skull; his hands shook on their hold of his lordship's night clothes; and his ear rang as his words played themselves over. He hadn't mentioned anything incriminating about himself or Osamu - no mention of his real name or location so there was no worry of being identified. But maybe because this was the first time he ever talked about his brother so opening that made it so panic-inducing.</p><p>Ennoshita certainly seemed surprised but Lord Shouyou had perked and was looking at Atsumu with curiosity brimming out from his eyes. He wanted to know more. This thought shuddered Atsumu's heart. He wanted to say more but also wanted to say no more on the subject.</p><p>"What kind of person was your brother?" Lord Shouyou asked. When Atsumu did not gave an immediate answer, he quickly added, "you don't have to answer it if you don't want to. In fact, you are under no obligation to answer so-"</p><p>Atsumu shook his head. "No, no. It's alright, it's just ... I've never talk about him to anyone before and I dunno what to say."</p><p>"What about the things that first came to mind when you think of him?" Lord Shouyou suggested. "Like when people asked me about Natsu, I always see her smiling as she was climbing a tree cause the neighbor dog chased her."</p><p>"That's not something to say with a smile on your face, m'lord." Ennoshita muttered.</p><p>"Why was she smiling if she got chased by a dog?" Atsumu asked at the same time.</p><p>"I can't remember but that is what I think about because that's my sister: optimistic, energetic, lover of animals, and sometimes annoying but she is so cute that you can't help but want to cuddle her every time!" Lord Shouyou hugged himself to emphasize the last point.</p><p><em>The first thing that came to mind about Osamu</em>?</p><p>He thought of the time Osamu ate a plate full of <em>onigiri</em> and had not left a single one for Atsumu because his brother was that greedy. There was also that time Osamu refused to acknowledge him for a whole day just because Atsumu accidently ate his pudding. Sure, it was alright for Osamu to eat more than his share but when Atsumu did it, it was a mortal sin. <em>Hypocrite</em>! But before Atsumu could say any of this, something else came to mind. Osamu standing in front of him surrounded by nobles, they were looking down at him, whispering behind their hands and fans. Yet the entire time, Osamu did not react: his shoulder slouched, his head bowed down, eyes on the floor.</p><p>"A coward," Atsumu whispered causing Lord Shouyou and Ennoshita to stop their conversation. "He always had his head down and never talked back. The way he stood, it was as if he wanted to melt into the shadows, unacknowledged by the world." Atsumu looked at the mirror  - dark hair, dark eyes, sharp jaws. "But he didn't do that cause he was afraid. He did that cause he thought that would make life easier for him, for us. He used to say that he wanted to live in peace with others by being <em>nice/</em>" Atsumu could not help the sneer as he said that word - because the indication there was that Atsumu was not a nice person. He did not mind at the time but what he had minded was that Osamu was trying to be nice to people who was anything but nice to them. They did not deserve any kindness from Osamu or from their mother, they could rot in hell as far as Atsumu was concerned.</p><p>"But ya know, he was not a pushover. Once he and I tried to pluck some fruit off a tree but the nearest branch was a bit higher so one of us had to act as a stool. Course I wanna be the one who do the pluckin' so I told him to kneel down but that idiot refused, sayin' I can't tell a ripe one from a bad one. Which was stupid, we had been plucking that tree since day one, I knew my stuff. But that guy won't budge - even when I shouted, bribed, and tried to physically held him down. We caused a big commotion that ma gave each of us a stool to stand on instead. And there was that other time, he lied and said I stole the cookie from the guest plate when he, in plain view of everyone, took that cookie!"</p><p><em>Damn it</em>, Atsumu had not planned on spilling all this but just like in the garden yesterday with Kita, now that Atsumu could talk, now that he allowed himself of this, he found there was so much he wanted to say. So much he wanted people to know about his brother. Because at the end of the day, Atsumu, Kita, and Aran were the only people who truly knew his twin. And when they were gone, no one would had known that there was once a man called Osamu and he was Atsumu's brother. He did not want that - he wanted more people to know of his brother so that at least Osamu could live on in the stories Atsumu tell.</p><p>"He sounded like a handful," Ennoshita quietly said.</p><p>Atsumu looked away from the mirror and grinned slowly, "just consider yerself lucky yer stuck with me and not him."</p><p>Lord Shouyou smiled, "I'm sure Daichi would had been able to handle him all the same."</p><p>Ennoshita left not long after when the last of Lord Shouyou's buttons were done but Atsumu was asked to stay back because his lordship had something to ask him. Feeling a bit nervous, Atsumu ignored the meaningful look Ennoshita shoot him as the door closed behind him.  </p><p>However, instead of jumping into a conversation, his lordship started fidgeting and looking at everything and anything that was not Atsumu's eyes. This calmed some of the nervousness bubbling in Atsumu's stomach. Neither of them knew what to say despite the many things they wanted to say and had rehearsed in their head. But having the person in front of them seem to blew all thought and logic away so that they were left only with silence as the memory of their last encounter in the Manor parlor came to mind. </p><p>"About yesterday -" his lordship started but Atsumu beat him to it.</p><p>"Ya don't hafta apologize. It's not like ya were insulting me or anything yesterday. I'm the one who jumped the gun so ya don't need to worry 'bout that. I am not mad 'bout it anyway."</p><p>"Even so, I shouldn't have said it like that - not when I didn't really know about your situation."</p><p>"It's really not that big of a deal." Please don't let him asked who the person is, Atsumu begged to the Goddess. But just like always, he was Her least favorite child.</p><p>"So, can I ask who the person was - the one you said would never love you back?" This was asked with the most adorable set of wide eyes and Atsumu could literally feel the name being pulled from his stomach to the tip of his tongue. He bit and swallowed it hard cause like hell was he gonna had his heart broken that quickly - there need to be space between the amount of emotional crisis he went through on a daily bases.</p><p>"Ya can't" Atsumu blurted out. Lord Shouyou flinched and Atsumu was already half way to take back his "no" when his lordship nodded and muttered that it was an invasive question anyway of which he did not have a right to ask.</p><p>Awkward silence once again fell between them and it was only nine in the morning! Adding to the fact that Atsumu had not slept a full night again (sorry, Kita) he was not of sound mind to do mental gymnastics.</p><p>"I thought about what you said yesterday, about how I romanticize love and that I think it is up for fate to decide who I end up with," Lord Shouyou said. Atsumu felt his breath left his lungs as he waited for the next words - he was not really sure what he was waiting for but what he knew was the at least they could now get rid of the awkwardness between them.</p><p>"My parents didn't love each other," his lordship mumbled. "Other families too. I've see so many people unhappy in their marriages and the thought that that will be me one day ... it makes me so mad. I thought to myself at the very least when it's my turn it will be someone I love - someone I know. But the thing was, I don't really want that. Marriage. You are wrong, you know,- I don't romanticize love - I don't think it really exist. The thought of putting all that effort, chasing after someone but to have nothing to show for it seems like a waste. So I watched for a certainty and when I found it in Kageyama, I held on to it. Waiting seem like a safer option because what if I lay my heart out and he rejected me? Then what was the point of all those years? At the very least, by waiting, it's not <em>my</em> fault if it didn't work out."</p><p>And here it was; the truth. Because deep down inside, Lord Shouyou was aware that perhaps life was not going the way he had hoped and the thought terrified him. That perhaps he had been chasing a path that only led to a dead end. Regret, humiliation, despair those were always, always a possibility never a chance but Shouyou had not wanted to face it - facing it meant having to let go of a long-held dream. Letting go of a certainty that had been his light in those dark days following his father's death, those days when the worry, fear, and anxiety weighted on his heart that he might as well not had one anymore as it was crushed to splinters.</p><p>"It's different from a career or a lifestyle because even when you failed to obtain your goal, you can look back on all your work and say to yourself you did your best. You have something to show for it. But with love, there is nothing to look back on. The good memories become a reminder of things you have lost and you slowly ended up wishing you never met the person, that you never fell in love. You can't look back and say you did good because all you see is how incompatible you really are and you wondered why you have been such a fool, a blind fool for allowing yourself to trust someone when that someone is never permanent."</p><p>"Ya thought 'bout all this?" Atsumu could only replied because of how negative it sounded. Who hurt Lord Shouyou for him to held such bitterness toward falling in love?</p><p>Lord Shouyou crossed his hand over his chest and held himself closed as if to protect himself for an invisible wind. "I love Kageyama but like I said, I thought it was love only because I realized I can't see my life without him. Maybe I do love him in the romantic sense or maybe I love him in the platonic sense. But the truth was, he was a safe option compare to... well anyone else. Because I know Kageyama will never betray me and I needed that certainty more than anything else. You know I had my share of lovers." Atsumu nodded. He never met any of them as they all were before he arrived which was a good thing because Atsumu don't think he could stand a minute in the house without bursting out in jealousy if he saw one of them so much as touched his lordship. The only reason why it had been bearable to look at Lord Tobio was because Atsumu had not once seen Lord Shouyou looked at the man with a heated, intense look of longing and desire. Instead, most of it tend to be soft smiles and warm eyes (it still prickled his heart). "You are making a funny look, Cesario."</p><p><em>Shit</em>! Atsumu quickly schooled his featured but his lordship gave him a teasing smile before it returned to a thin line.</p><p>"I don't really, what was the term you used, <em>try</em> with them as well. I mean, yes, I had my fun with them and they had theirs with me but at the end of the day, I never looked for them, I never inquired after them. Some of them had wanted more but I always pretend I never notice because I could barely bother with it. Maybe, one or two of them, if I had tried, something more would had grown from it. But I never did because ... I thought of them as short fancy and that the real deal was the one I held for Kageyama - unwavering, constant, and <em>distant</em>."</p><p>Lord Shouyou brought out his hand toward Atsumu as if to grab something but his eyes were further away. Then, they sharpened and looked the man in front of them with a twisted smile. "Cesario, I think I am afraid to have my heart broken."</p><p>No longer able to help himself, Atsumu walked forward, took his lordship's hand, and brought him into his chest. He held Lord Shouyou close as his heart thumped loud in an intense tempo. His lordship's shoulder shook. Whether from the sound, contact, or the weight of his confession, Atsumu could not tell but he lightly started swaying his body in hope to alleviate the pain, even if for a fraction.</p><p>"I do love him," Lord Shouyou's voice was muffled so it was hard to tell if he was crying or not. But the admittance had Atsumu holding him tighter. "But not in the way I thought I did. In a way I am still sad, sad that he did not fall for me, sad that he had fallen for someone else. But I already knew this for a long time now ... a very long time. Not the falling for someone else part, that was recent. But I think I have been doubting myself for a very long time but I never wanted to admit it because admitting it meant all those years I waited for him were a waste." He let out a self-deprecating chuckle.</p><p><em>A waste</em>, <em>huh</em>. Another word Atsumu did not thought Lord Shouyou would understood or used. But perhaps even those who smiled so brightly, lived so happily, had insecurities and fear that were the complete opposite of their exterior selves.</p><p>"Ki- umm, Feste once told me that all the struggle, the in-betweens from one point to another matter because they all appear in the results," Atsumu said softly as if he was soothing a scared animal from a thunder storm. "I thought that was bogus cause it's the end-result that matter, right? I get thinking 'what's the point of working this hard if I the end result's not what I want' but ... I get it now, what he meant. Memories won't last forever but the things  that matter are engraved within us, made us stronger. I think its the same thing with love - lovin' someone, whether its returned or not, whether it ended on good or bad terms, we got somethin' from it. Even if its not what we wanted. Maybe we learned to look out for clues in future partners, maybe we learned what we wanted in said partners, maybe we learned a bit of ourselves as well - like are we the type of person who gives more than its return, the type to prefer physical acts of love rather than verbal... so many things that we won't know unless we put ourselves out there. M'lord, do ya regret the times ya spend with him - loving him, then and now?"</p><p>Silence followed and Atsumu did not disturbed it as he continued to rock his lordship. He slowly placed his chin over his head and moved his arm a bit so that Lord Shouyou was more comfortable and that there was no limbs twisted or pressed in a weird manner.</p><p>"No, it had hurt when he won't look at me but I was happy with the time we spend, the competitions we have, the arguments. I don't regret any of that." His lordship began with a whisper that grew stronger with each word.</p><p>Atsumu smiled, "Then, is it really a waste?"</p><p>A pause and Lord Shouyou shook his head. After a few minutes of silence filled only with their soft breathing, Atsumu slowly step back; his lordship did not move to follow but remained in place, his eyes downcast. Atsumu softly gasped his cheeks - they were both as soft and rough as he imagined and more. He gently smooth his thumbs under his lordship's eyes.They were dry.</p><p>"Cesario," his lordship finally looked up into his eyes. His hot breath touched Atsumu's chin as he said, "I am sorry for what I said."</p><p>Atsumu made to say it was not necessary but his lordship placed his finger over his lips and Atsumu shuttered at the contact - tingles down his spine.</p><p>"I mean it, Cesario." His lordship leaned even closer. This time, his brows were lowered in determination. "I am really, really sorry. It was presumptive and condescending. I don't think of you as an irredeemable asshole, your words not mine ( his lordship added at Atsumu's indignant squeak) I think you are a real passionate, hard-working, kind person who for some reason refuse to let people see it."</p><p>"Well, ya strechin' it a bit with the 'kind' part," Atsumu muttered as his face lightly flush at the praise - his heart full of forgiveness that he barely remembered why he was so angry yesterday.</p><p>But Lord Shouyou shook his head, "no, I don't think I am."</p><p>"Ya are."</p><p>"I'm not."</p><p>"Ya are."</p><p>"I'm - you are deflecting!"</p><p>"Nay, just statin' some facts."</p><p>His lordship leaned away and smacked Atsumu's shoulder lightly. Atsumu chuckled to which a small smile is returned.</p><p>"You are always helping me," Lord Shouyou pointed out. "Even now, you are consoling me."</p><p>"Well, yeah - dunno if ya notice this but it gets really depressin' when ya sad," Atsumu muttered. "And I don't like seein' ya sad. Are ya fine now? Anythin' else ya wanna talk 'bout?"</p><p>Lord Shouyou shook his head, "no, I am - well not really fine but I am feeling much better. It was something I have been holding in for a long time and its good to finally say it."</p><p>"Yeah, Feste always say that its best of talk about things than keep then in or else we might explode."</p><p>"Feste always know what to say."</p><p>"He is <em>Feste</em>."</p><p>Atsumu started to lean away but his lordship followed so that their chest were only inches apart - and there goes Atsumu's heart again.</p><p>"Cesario, yesterday in the garden, you were really upset - can I ask about it?" His lordship licked his lips and Atsumu almost forgot his question until the next one hit him like a ton of bricks. "Does it have something to do with your brother?"</p><p>"W-what- what made ya say that?"</p><p>"Because, the only time I have ever seen you that upset was the day we meet ... and those nights you were in the garden with Feste. You've never mention him until recently and today, the way you talk about him; it was as if a large weight was off your shoulders but there was this sadness around you still. I can't help but wonder if that was why you acted the way you did yesterday."</p><p>Atsumu closed his eyes. It was one thing to talk about Osamu in term of stories but it was another to talk about what he was to Atsumu - about his guilt, about the raft in the ocean, about the storm. This was not his lordship's burden to bear.</p><p>"M'lord, ya got nothin' to worry about. Yesterday, I was feelin' down cause I was a bit, <em>only a bit</em>, nervous 'bout tonight so it's really nothin'. Ya don't have to worry," Atsumu said with an easy grin; he brought up his hands in a placating manner to emphasize the truth of his words. However, it did not lessen the tightness on his lordship's shoulder; he seem even more bothered which was the opposite of what Atsumu hoped to accomplish.</p><p>"Cesario," he said as he took one of Atsumu's hand in both of his. It was a hesitant touch that strengthen when Atsumu did not smacked it away. "I know you think you're doing me a favor by insisting that you are well and that nothing is bothering you. But the more you hide your pain from me - especially when it is obvious- the more worry I become. Instead of feeling relief, I only feel bothered and think up the worst case scenarios."</p><p>Lord Shouyou pulled him closer so that Atsumu could not escape from the golden gleams that invaded his dreams, his walls - willing him to tear them down. But this time, instead of a catapults or boulders, it was the gentle drizzle of rain that slowly rose until his heart overflow and every guilt, every pain, every worry was seconds away from bursting.</p><p>It was time for you to leave the ocean behind, Lord Shouyou's eyes were saying.</p><p><em>Atsumu</em>, <em>do you think you will ever forgive yerself? </em>Kita had asked.</p><p>"You're really important to me which is why I want to do the same for you. Cesario, you don't have to tell me now but please don't push me away. Maybe it's bad to think this way, espically with the shipwreck but I consider the day I met you the luckiest day of my life - I am happy to have you here, you make my life brighter. "</p><p>The ache at the back of Atsumu's eyes returned as his heart felt like it was being placed in a fire. The room suddenly felt very hot - uncomfortable but comfortable. He wanted to leave but wanted to stay. He wanted to cry but also laugh.</p><p>"Cesario? Cesario, are you crying?" Lord Shouyou gasped as he tried to grabbed Atsumu's face but Atsumu looked up.</p><p>"N-no. It's the dust! Some dust fell on me! Goddess, it's so dusty - why did Ennoshita leave the window open?"</p><p>First Kita and now Lord Shouyou? What was going on - why was everyone suddenly proclaiming happiness at knowing Atsumu? No one had ever told Atsumu they were glad to meet him - they always made it clear they found it a curse to had known him. So to hear Lord Shouyou say this, especially right after Kita,  Atsumu did not know what to do. At this rate, he was going to be a shriveled up bean with the amount of water leaving his body involuntarily. Damn it.</p><p>Atsumu wiped his sleeve over his eyes but those damn water kept on coming! It took him a while for his body to stop shaking and his eyes to stop aching but there was nothing he could do to hide his pink eyes. His lordship let him be for a while but his patience were not as limitless as Kita. He tugged Atsumu's front jacket insistently so that he had no choice but to look down into those golden eyes, those soft, understanding eyes. And so for the second time, Atsumu cried in front of his lordship but unlike last time, this one was more lightly, more happier because after a storm, the sun had to come out one day. </p><p>"I should be the one sayin' that," Atsumu gasped but any words were choked at his throat. Goddess, he was drowning.</p><p>Lord Shouyou laughed as he lightly brushed his thumb under Atsumu's eyes, not unlike what Atsumu did a few minutes ago. "I meant it. So please, stop thinking of yourself as a burden- you're not my charity case, right?"</p><p>Atsumu could only nodded as he once again tried to speak but failed. The one time he needed his mouth and the blasted thing failed him - how typically. He did not immediately talked about Osamu when his tears finally stopped and Lord Shouyou did not insisted anymore. But as they left the room, both men knew that they had reached another level of understanding with each other and that one day all the cards would be one the table. Although the thought tugged their stomach with nerves and fear, they were also relieved to know that they did not had to bear their secret alone forever. Atsumu would be ready to talk about Osamu just as Lord Shouyou would be ready to say what he wanted to say ever since the Marton fete. </p><p>Taking one last look at his lordship and himself, ensuring that nothing was out of place, Atsumu opened the door. Lord Shouyou took a step forward only to stop and asked, "the man you love - you really believe you have no chance with him?"</p><p>"Yes, I thought once he returned my feelin' but turned out he wasn't really serious 'bout it as I was."</p><p>"What an idiot," his lordship smiled sadly.</p><p>"Yeah, he is," Atsumu returned with an equally sad smile. </p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>The dinner guest list was the usual parties of the Kageyamas, Sir Oikawa, the Tsukishimas, and Ms. Tsubaki but with the addition of Mr. Tadashi Yamaguchi and Ms. Hitoka Yachi, both of whom had returned from their travels late last night. There was no pair of humans more compatible, supportive, and nervous-wrecking as those two, with the former toward Tsukishima and the latter toward Lord Shouyou. The four of them, Lord Shouyou, Mr. Tsukishima, Mr. Yamaguchi, and Ms. Yachi ,were bonded by chains of childhood memories and dramas, thus keeping each other grounded but having a go at it from time to time. Lord Tobio, no doubt, fitted into this chain and now Atsumu would had a chance to see how.</p><p>He had not been lying when he stated that he was not nervous about serving dinner and he was still not nervous when it only an hour before it started. His talk with Kita yesterday and with Lord Shouyou this morning had relieved any ill-feelings of the days before and he could looked toward the evening with a fresh body, determined mind, and easy manner. The ten minutes nap and cup of coffee had also helped.</p><p>Atsumu brushed his sleeves as he looked at his reflection in the male lavatory so that there would be no wrinkle or hair out of place that would hit Daichi's berserk's button. The dark jacket of the footman filled his shoulders well and really emphasis his good angle he must say. Not to mention, his newly styled hair gave him a very handsome, mature look. Aihara said it made him looked like a womanizer and he promptly kicked her out of the room.  Kita had also stopped by to wish Atsumu well and to remind him that patience goes a long way for these sort of things ( "Jeez, Kita, a simple 'good luck' would do," Atsumu huffed but glad all the same).</p><p>With one last look over, Atsumu nodded to himself and smirked as a way of pep talk before leaving the room and running head first into to Narita, who had the night off as Atsumu was taking his place. The footman was dressed in a simple suit that indicated he was going into town. Atsumu contemplated teasing him by wondering if he was meeting someone but decided to hold it off for tomorrow. Instead, he wished the man a good night and Narita returned with a kind "good luck."</p><p>As Atsumu walked through the main hall, he paused in front of the library. He could hear movement inside - Lord Shouyou must been inside finishing some final paperwork before the guests arrived. Atsumu quickly smoothed his hair with the help of the reflective surface of the vase and after smarting up his jacket, he knocked on the door. There was a dull thump and a curse. Not waiting for a reply, Atsumu blasted the door opened to find a very flustered looking Lord Tobio on his knee besides the couches.</p><p>"M'lord?" Atsumu gasped as he looked around the room - nothing seem to be out of place save for a fallen pillow but that was not heavy enough to have made such a noise. "What happened?" <em>And what was he doing in the library? How did he get in with none of the staff knowing</em>?</p><p>Lord Tobio blinked in a daze before he aroused himself to wakefulness. "Umm ... I was just looking for-"</p><p>"Yer hand!" Atsumu interrupted for the young lord had moved his left hand to reveal a streak of red. His right hand was bleeding. Atsumu strode across the room and kneeled beside Lord Tobio, who looked down at his hand - seemingly confused at the wound.</p><p>"Ya hurt! Sit down," - Atsumu pointed at one of the couch as he got up and walked toward his lordship's desk- "Lord Shouyou had an emergency kit here so we can use this to stop the bleeding." The box was were his lordship had left it after he had taken it out to look over the burn Atsumu had gotten when he had placed his hand in the hot tea. It seems as if a year had passed since that day - was it really only two days ago? So much had happened since then.</p><p>"I didn't thought it would bleed this much," Lord Tobio muttered when Atsumu arrived back to his side with the kit.</p><p>"Ya didn't know ya got hurt? How did this happen anyway, m'lord?" Atsumu hastily asked when he realized how casual ( and mocking) his tone was. He opened the box, took out a clear bottle labeled alcohol, and took out his napkin from his own pocket.</p><p>"I knew I got hurt," Lord Tobio exclaimed, looking very much like a perturbed child. "I just didn't think the small cut could cause this much bleeding."</p><p>The "small" cut was not singular but multiple and was the size of Atsumu's fore and middle finger combined. "Small" indeed.</p><p>"What did ya cut with? This looked like ya scratched it with wood or the ground or somethin'."</p><p>The young lord hissed when Atsumu dabbled the cloth, now soaked lightly with alcohol, on it - clearing it from the blood and dirt. It wasn't difficult and it wasn't long before Atsumu was bandaging the hand with a clean gauze. Thankfully, the cuts were not too deep and the reason for the large among of blood was due to the multiple wounds. Lord Tobio was able to flex his hand despite the small sharpness it brought to his hand.</p><p>"Still, better to have a doctor see it - isn't Ms. Yachi's mother a doctor? Can't she take a look at it?" Atsumu asked as he gathered all the supplies back onto the kit.</p><p>Lord Tobio shook his head and muttered how it would be fine and that he could had Suga looked it over when he went back to the manor. Atsumu did not like this and started lecturing him on taking good care of his hand, especially since he was a fencer and "yer hands need to be in good conditions or ya would have trouble later in life."</p><p>The young lord looked annoyed and seem ready to argue when he paused and looked at Atsumu with a pensive expression. It was infuriating that Atsumu could not tell if this was a good thing or a bad thing and so to level out any awkwardness and to deal with his own curiosity, he asked again what happened.</p><p>Lord Tobio reluctantly admitted that he had came up to Karasuno by the back road when he heard a sound from one of the tree. It belonged to a cat, meowing for help as it was stuck. And so he tried to do the honorable thing by getting it down. Only the cat seem to have an issue with him and had tried to scratch him the minute he took it in his arm. It did not succeed but Lord Tobio fell and that was when he scratched his hand.</p><p>Atsumu knew he should not and that if Daichi heard him, he would get in to trouble but in the end it was a lost cause for he laughed out loud in Lord Tobio's face at the ridiculousness of the story. He thought the young lord got it over some fencing accident or something of that nature - not because he was helping a cat of all things.</p><p><em>Really</em>, he really could not hate Lord Tobio even if he wanted to. Atsumu disliked being second to anything or anyone; and he would forever be upset having to forfeit in the fight for his lordship's heart; but Lord Shouyou's happiness was what matter in the end and so he had been willing to get along with Lord Tobio - to a degree. But now, after the fencing match and seeing a firsthand just how awkward and socially inept the young lord was, Atsumu only found him endearing and a fun target to tease much like Sakusa. Even now, Lord Tobio was glaring at him with a deep flush and a scowl that was clearly meant to hide his embarrassment. It only made Atsumu laughed harder.</p><p>Unable to help himself, he smirked and said, "ya really had a way with animals."</p><p>Lord Tobio glared at him. "It's not my fault! At least it didn't bit me this time."</p><p>"Ya got bitten!" Atsumu shook his head as he remembered Lady Natsu mentioning how animals didn't like the young lord. "Whatcha done -"</p><p>"-in my past life to be treated this way?" Lord Tobio finished. But despite the annoyance in his tone, a small smile had appeared which had Atsumu blinking at him. "Believe me, I asked myself that sometimes."</p><p>"Well, good thing ya horse had no problem with ya."</p><p>"You would know."</p><p>Okay, now Atsumu was lost on how to reply. Why did this occurred every time he spoke with the young lord? </p><p>There was a sudden rustle and a small meow sounded. A bundle of fur made itself known from under one of the coach as it stretched onto its fore legs. Atsumu gasped out loud.</p><p>"What is he doin' here?" he shouted the same time Lord Tobio said, "there you are."</p><p>The two men looked at each other.</p><p>"Wait, that's the cat ya rescues - ya brought the <em>devil cat</em> into the house!" Atsumu exclaimed in horror as he pointed accusingly at the young lord.</p><p>"Yes, I can't just leave it outside. What if it get stuck on the tree again?"</p><p>"Who cares! It's a cat, it can survive the elements! We got to catch it and throw it out before it scratch something."</p><p>"Scratch what?" Lord Tobio leaped in alarm as Atsumu flew toward the cat who hissed and leaped over the coach.</p><p>"The coach, the curtains, the books!" <em>My face</em>!</p><p>The devil cat had been a thorn in Atsumu's back side ever since he first stepped foot on Karasuno. It was the cat's fault the vase in the parlor room broke because it crept into the kitchen to steal some fish and had leapt upstairs when Atsumu tried to stop it. No one had believed Atsumu when he insisted it was the cat's fault because apparently Saeko and Fujiko were too busy to noticed the stupid thing entered the kitchen. The cat had also shredded Atsumu's winter jacket the one time he left in hanging on the garden bench, which had resulted in him getting a lecture from Kita and Daichi on leaving thing unattended. And now the cat seem set on ruining Atsumu's night which was the last thing he wanted. Thus, he and Lord Tobio ran around the library trying to catch the devil.</p><p>But Lord Tobio's presence seem to anger the cat just as much as Atsumu's did which made him wondered how on earth the young lord got the cat into the library in the first place (apparently the noise Atsumu had heard was of Lord Tobio looking for the cat for once they were inside the room, it had leaped out from his arm and slipped under the furniture).</p><p>"Gotcha!" Atsumu exclaimed as he leaped behind the cat - only for it moved away and causing him to tripped over the fallen pillow. At that exact moment, Lord Tobio appeared around the coach and Atsumu could not stopped himself from falling right onto him.</p><p>Atsumu had enough sense to grab the young lord's waist and pulled him toward him to cushion their fall. A sharp pain sang throughout his right side and for a moment, Atsumu could not remember what day it was and what he was doing. All that matter was the pain and the color red which he realized a second later was the library floor. Something warm was pressing onto his chest and legs.</p><p>A deep groan had Atsumu looking down and he almost had a heart attack when Lord Tobio's face appeared before him. They were close enough that their noses were almost touching. Atsumu tired to leaned away but his knees gave out a cry and he fallen onto the young lord again.</p><p>"Oof!" Lord Tobio gasped.</p><p>"Damn it," Atsumu wheezed as he slowly untangled himself so that he was hovering over the young lord. His elbows on either sides of Lord Tobio's head. The young lord's brows were tight as he rolled onto his back. His eyes widen when he realized how close they were and before Atsumu could gave his apology or rolled away the library door opened.</p><p>"What was that so-" Lord Shouyou stopped short as his eyes widen. Atsumu was initially confused at the befuddled stare until he remember the position he was in - him hovering over Lord Tobio as if he was going to kiss him or something. He immediately leapt up, ignoring the sharp cries of his muscles. In fact, he rather had a day full of aching joints than be under the accusing stares of Lord Shouyou. They were accusing and angry but only for a minute before it dulled into the barely contained clench of the door knob. Atsumu felt very guilty even though he had no reason to. The guilt however quickly disappeared when he noticed the yellow fur-ball that was the devil cat slipped past his lordship's feet into the main hall. Atsumu swore on his mother's grave that the cat gave him a very satisfied look.</p><p>"What happen?" Lord Shouyou's voice was cheerful. It shot a shiver down Atsumu's spine because it was his fake cheer, one that he used to hide the anger that was clearly there in his eyes. Did he- he could not possible think Atsumu was trying anything on with Lord Tobio, could he?</p><p>"The cat," Lord Tobio groaned as he sat up, "Seb-Cesario and I was trying to catch the cat and he tripped on me."</p><p>"The cat?"</p><p>"No, Cesario."</p><p>"Because you were catching a cat."</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Well, where is it?"</p><p>"The cat," Lord Tobio stated as an explanation as he looked around the room.</p><p>"It's gone, it got out," Atsumu muttered. Goddess, if he ever got his hands on that <em>thing</em>, he was skinning it into a scarf!</p><p>And to make this moment even more perfect, Sir Oikawa's annoying face appeared behind his lordship. "There you are Little Tobio, we have been looking for you. Oh, what on earth are you doing on the floor?"</p><p>"Looking for a cat, apparently," Lord Shouyou muttered. Atsumu blistered at the disbelieving tone and before he could demanded why his lordship was speaking in such a way, Lord Tobio cut in.</p><p>"You think I am lying?"</p><p>"Of course not." His lordship snorted in a very un-Lord Shouyou-like manner that even had Sir Oikawa giving him a look. "I am sure that is why Cesario is here, looking for a cat."</p><p><em>That was exactly what we were doing</em>, Atsumu almost shouted but the look of curiosity on Sir Oikawa's face stopped him.</p><p>Lord Tobio narrowed his eyes, "that's exactly what happen."</p><p>"I am not accusing you of anything."</p><p>"Doesn't sound like it."</p><p>"Woah, you two. This is supposed to be a happy dinner - there is no need to fight before the night even begin," Sir Oikawa stated. It goes to show how unreasonable Lord Shouyou was being if Atsumu was agreeing with the lawyer.</p><p>Thankfully, Daichi appeared to take Atsumu to the kitchen to ready the dining room for the evening. The head butler was quite surprised at the gathering near the library entrance but his question of something the matter was quickly waved away by Lord Shouyou who stated that he would take Lord Tobio and Sir Oikawa to the sitting room. The last thing Atsumu saw of the two lords was the glare both were giving each other before they disappeared down the hall.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Despite the unpleasant beginning, the dinner party was a success for Atsumu had not dropped a single tray on anyone or on the carpeted floor - any of that would had been horrendous as the first scenario would incurred him the wrath of Daichi, Mistress Hinata, and whoever he dropped it on while the second scenario would incurred Daichi, Mistress Hinata, and the maids who had to clean it. However, there were two near incident when such an event was likely.</p><p>The first time was when soups were being served. Ms. Tsubaki was in her element and was talking to the moon and back about the scurry maid from the Lin farm, who had ran off with that footman from that family and did you know, Oikawa dear, how lovely you look it turquoise, very becoming of you; and Lord Shouyou, you are looking so fine tonight, very much like the night before; ah, it brought her great joy to see his lordship ad Lord Tobio together for she had thought that Lord Tobio would be forever occupied by his <em>beau</em> in the capital ( Lord Kageyama closed his eyes at this part while Lord Tobio kept on drinking his soup but he had glanced at where Atsumu was standing. Atsumu took it as an indication for more wine and he let Daichi know). Then, Ms. Tsubaki returned to Lord Shouyou and went on a rampage about his "bachelor life" and perhaps love was not that far off for him ( this was said with suggestive looking at Lord Tobio who at that minute was in conversation with Ms. Yachi).</p><p>"Strangle me," Lord Shouyou hissed into Atsumu's ear when it was time for the change of course. Atsumu snickered and almost dropped the tray of salad he was holding due to his shaking hands. His lordship smiled at him while Lord Tobio shot the two of them an unimpressed look.</p><p>The tension from the library was nowhere to be found in his lordship's countenance and Atsumu would had thought he had imagined it if not for the fact that there was a noticeable strained atmosphere between the two lords. Perhaps, Lord Shouyou had been correct in his assertion that his feelings toward the young lord had been more platonic than he had initially thought for his lordship did not seem upset or hesitant in way he treated Lord Tobio - that was when he did talked to him.</p><p>The young lord, in turn, barely looked at Lord Shouyou and most of his energy was directed toward Mr. Tsukishima who had been making one snarky remark after another. There seem to be no love lost between Lord Tobio and Mr. Tsukishima but none of the dinner party seem to find their passive-aggressive comments alarming so Atsumu could only assumed this was how the two men acted on a daily bases. With Ms. Yachi and Mr. Yamaguchi, Lord Tobio was more quieter but still responsive - his face did not tense up in annoyance or confusion until Lord Shouyou inputted himself into the conversation, which was then followed by a comment by Mr. Tsukishima that had the two lords glaring at him.</p><p>Nonetheless, the rigidity between the two lords was noticeable to everyone such as when Nishinoya muttered to Atsumu as he was passing by, "Woah, did something happen between those two? You can cut the tension with a knife!"</p><p>Atsumu could only shrugged.</p><p>The second time an incident almost occurred was during dessert when ice-cream was being served. The green minty scoop paired with a small chocolate bar turned Atsumu's stomach for he found the flavor equivalent to that of toothpaste and could not understand how anyone could eat it (pointed, judging stares at his lordship). As he was placing the glass cups in front of the guest, Sir Oikawa suddenly asked about the library.</p><p>Atsumu's right hand wobbled and he stood still to steady himself as Lord Tobio explained, once again, what had transpired. This led to exclamation and talks about Lord Tobio's  many unfortunate, near-misses with various animals that ranged from domestic to wild - curtsy of Mr. Tsukishima, Mr. Yamaguchi, Ms. Yachi, and Lord Shouyou. Each story had the young lord scowling even more but it was only with Mr. Tsukishima and Lord Shouyou did he tried to argue against. Sir Oikawa listened to this talk with a small smile before turning to Atsumu, who had appeared behind him to place his ice-cream, and muttered, "Little Tobio seem to have forgotten a <em>little</em> bit of the what happen. I am sure your retelling would be more trilling and more filling for Ms. Tsubaki."</p><p>Atsumu wondered how many would believed it was an accident if he were to drop the ice cream onto Sir Oikawa's lap. The pointed stare from both Daichi and Ennoshita told him he would not succeed. Atsumu pouted for the rest of dinner until the ladies left first then the gentlemen.</p><p>"I meant to say this earlier but that's a new look you have there," Lord Shouyou said as he came upon Atsumu as the others were leaving the room. </p><p>Atsumu grinned and had to hold himself back from touching his hair. Usually he don't do much with his hair apart from making sure it was clean and neat because if it was a rat's nest, Daichi would had him sit in front of the mirror and combed his hair himself. For tonight, he had styled his hair in a "windswept" kind of look that showcased his eyes and his forehead well.</p><p>"Yes, thought I might look my best tonight." Unable to help himself, Atsumu leaned a bit closer and asked, in the most causal tone possible, "it looks good, doesn't it?"</p><p>"Yes, it reminds me of Oikawa," Lord Shouyou beamed.</p><p>Well, wasn't that a stab in the heart. "M'lord, why are ya insulting me?"</p><p>His lordship seem genuinely confused by this reply as if he actually considered Sir Oikawa to be a favorable comparison to make. And of course, as if hearing his name as a summon, Sir Oikawa appeared next to his lordship with a pensive look upon him as he took in Atsumu's new hairstyle. Atsumu, in turned, gave the lawyer's hair a good scrutiny and concluded that one, his own was better and two, he wished he had dumped that ice cream onto him. </p><p>"Must say, Cesario, you clean up very nice," Sir Oikawa said. "Don't you agree, Little Tobio?"</p><p>Lord Tobio did not replied and left the room without a single glance toward them.</p><p>"As cheery as ever," Sir Oikawa tsked.</p><p>"Did something happen?" Lord Shouyou asked, his brows low with worry. "He seem to be fine when he arrive and now he's seem angrier than ever."</p><p>"Who knows what went on in that head of his. Do you know he was very happy about two days ago but now he was brewing up a storm. Grandfather could barely get a word out of him of the why and I, well I just make things worse." Sir Oikawa placed a hand over his lordship's shoulder and started leading him out of the room. Lord Shouyou shot Atsumu an apologetic smile before giving the lawyer his full attention. "Shouyou, you think you could talk to him?"</p><p>"I could but I don't think it would make much of a difference. I mean I couldn't get him to admit why he wanted to return to the capital in a hurry when he first arrive here about two weeks ago."</p><p>"Ah, yes, that. Now that's another mystery -"</p><p>And the rest of the conversation was cut off with the wooden door closing after them. Atsumu blinked in confusion as he was so sure Sir Oikawa was about to make a comment on what happened in the library or that Lord Shouyou might asked about it. But he supposed this was for the best as he did not want to sound like an idiot on explaining about the devil cat and the cut on Lord Tobio's hand. That being said, he hoped Lord Tobio remembered to have the wound washed and freshly bandaged when he arrived at the Manor; it won't do for an infection to occur.</p><p>For the rest of the night, Atsumu, Ennoshita and Nishinoya cleared the table while the head butler and Kinoshita served coffee in the parlor. Before he left, Daichi had told Atsumu he would gave him his evaluation before the servants dinner and added that Atsumu needed not worry for he did well; there was no mention of the library so either Lord Shouyou had said nothing or Daichi did not want Ennoshita or Nishinoya to overhear. Nonetheless, Atsumu took it to mean he passed. To celebrate this, Atsumu and Nishinoya raced to see which of them could get as many plates to the kitchen quicker without an accident and without Ennoshita finding out. The first footman eventually did and gave them a good scolding; to which they got another scolding from Daichi, later that night.</p><p>It was all in all, despite some mishaps, a successful end to a great day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello, I apologize for the very long wait between chapter 7 and this chapter. I had hoped to post this before October 2nd but life and work got into the way. Even so, thank you so much for all those who had been reading, commenting, and following along!! </p><p>Just one note: this chapter was longer than I had anticipated so the chapter count for PART ONE had increase by one which meant only THREE chapters to go before PART ONE ends! (YAY!!)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 9</strong>
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  <em>However well-loved Lord Shouyou was, to the elder generation of nobility, the man was seen as a bit of a nuisance - not to mention improper. They pitied him for the unfortunate death of his father but the truth was that man was a son of a disreputable family who had married above his station so they could not really be that bothered by the death. They were more occupied by the fact that the murderer was still at large. </em>
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  <em>The Hinatas could traced their ancestry to the founders of Celeste, before the country became a territory of the Astorian Empire. The wealth they had accumulated through the many generations made them one of the wealthiest family in the country. The nobilities wanted that wealth, they wanted the land Karasuno House sat on, and they wanted the connection the Hinatas had with other great houses such as the Hoshiumis, the Oikawas, the Usuris and the likes. But for the love of everything, Lord Shouyou Hinata, the seventeenth Earl of Karasuno, refused every marriage invitation that came his way and while he seem to have no problem having lovers, he was never serious with them. </em>
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  <em>In the past, the children of nobilities were tasked with becoming the earl's friend in hope that one of them would snared his interest and cured his wayward ways. But the older generation did not expected their children to fall  partially in love with Lord Shouyou to the point none of them wished to cause him any harm or discomfort.</em>
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  <em>Thus, families had to be contended with their children being simply <span class="u">friends</span> with Lord Shouyou.</em>
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  <em>Then one day, the nobilities of Orion woke up to learn Lord Shouyou had  brought back two strays from the ocean. Much like the Karasuno staff, they took joy in wondering Cesario and Feste's circumstances, intentions, and consequences. But unlike the laypeople of Orion who interacted with the two foreigners, the nobilities had to go by their servants and friends' words and it was not long before they mockingly felt sorry for Lord Shouyou, who had gotten an impossibly rude servant. </em>
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  <em>Served the young man right, the nobilities muttered. Always doing whatever he wants, talking with whoever, is it any wonder that such an ill-mannered man would came to him. And he kept the man on! Now if it were me, I would had turned that man away the minute I heard him speaking ill to me. But you know why Lord Shouyou kept that Lysonian on. I heard the he is a very handsome man and you know how Lord Shouyou is. Young man these days, so much time on their hand that they think they can do as they please. Pity for his mother, his poor mother. How could she managed such a son. </em>
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  <em>All this was relayed to Shouyou by Tsukishima, who could despite his bland tone could barely concealed the hint of care and worry he held toward his long-time friend. </em>
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  <em>"What possess you to take Cesario on?" Tsukishima asked - it was one of the rare moments he spoke toward Shouyou with no intent to tease or mock. Shouyou's affection toward his friend warmed at this as he thought the question over. </em>
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  <em>At last, Shouyou replied, "I needed a kitchen boy;" and this gave Tsukishima enough ammunition to return to mocking him. </em>
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  <em>The fact of the matter was, Shouyou had barely interacted with Cesario. He had mostly left the man to Sawamura's capable hands. After all it was what he had promised Cesario when the Lysonian was ill- that he would help him toward full health but whatever happen after was up to Cesario. </em>
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  <em>Even so, no matter what he said, Shouyou could not denied the part in him that tuned in on any discussion involving Cesario, could not denied that his eyes followed his new kitchen boy as Cesario walked through the back garden to go to town. It was not that Cesario was unique or unusual for Shouyou had known far more eccentric people in the form of Oikawa, Hoshiumi, his own servants and the Manor staff. He was handsome, Shouyou was not blind to that, but he was also very rude and mean-spirited which even good looks could not hide away.</em>
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  <em>It was more of how contradicting the man was. </em>
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  <em>The Cesario in the fisherman hut, the one who had hugged himself as his shoulders shook uncontrollably and his lips bleed as he tried to keep his cries in, was a lost child who the world had turned away and left to fend for himself. The one in front of Shouyou now looked at the world with indifference and coldness that was similar to the hollow graves waiting for coffins to be lowered and Shouyou was the gravedigger. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sometimes, Shouyou wondered if Cesario hated him due to how the man would narrowed his eyes anytime he saw Shouyou and could not seem to bear being in the same room for longer than a minute. This fact fascinated him more. He had never been hated on before ( at least not so openly) and in Shouyou's opinion, he had not done anything to be hated for. </em>
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  <em>Then one night when the four walls of Shouyou's room could not keep out the cold and the fire in his fireplace was a mockery of any warmth, Shouyou had walked to the library and saw through one of its windows the garden and its two walkers. Cesario and Feste stayed out for no longer than ten minutes as their walk disturbed the freshly powered whiteness of the land. Shouyou stood by the window mesmerized by the circular movement of Cesario who turned and turned the snow around, revealing the dark mud underneath, which mixed with the white - nothing pure and untouched remained under Cesario's rage. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It then struck to Shouyou that Cesario was angry because he was grieving. Of what and of who, Shouyou could not be sure but he guessed it was one of most importance to the man. Cesario was not alive or at least, not part of the living world. His anger was a smoke screen and his harsh, cruel words were sharpened swords to be left alone. His body might be at Karasuno but his heart remained out at sea.</em>
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  <em> And in that one moment, that one night under a full moon light that reflected over the unnaturally white land, Shouyou had pitied Cesario. </em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>-<em>two days before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>Atsumu really, really believed that the devil cat had it out for him. The stupid thing had almost tripped him as he was making his way down a field while lifting one end of a long table ( the other end was held by Lev).</p><p>"How can you be sure it is the same cat?" Lord Shouyou asked, bemusement obvious in his tone after Atsumu explained with a lot of dramatics of his near death with the garden lawn. Lev had unhelpfully added that Atsumu had let out a high-pitch squeal when the cat appeared, which had Yaku smirking and muttering, "and here I thought it was a pig."</p><p>"I know it's the same one cause it got the same brown spot at its back and by its left eye. And the look it give me - like it wants to claw my face!" Atsumu bemoaned as he slapped his hands onto his cheeks as if to protect it from said claws.</p><p>"An understandable want," Yaku unsympathetically replied. Lord Shouyou choked as he bit his lips to hold his laugher in.</p><p>"Maybe you are just not a cat person," Lev stated.</p><p>Atsumu shook his head, "no way, cats love me! (Yaku snorted) I am serious! There is this lady that my brother and I used to visit umm... near this village in Lyson and she had lots of cats. They always come to me- letting me pet them and all that while they barely look at my brother."</p><p>"Using catnips does not count," Yaku said and Atsumu gave up when Lord Shouyou started laughing out loud.</p><p>The four of them were in the field behind Kageyama Manor, beyond the hedged garden where the pavilion stood in the middle, setting chairs around small round tables under a large white tent. The long table was now being laid with foods by Fukunaga, the head cook of the Manor, the Manor maids, and Inu, the other footman, under the watchful eyes of Kai, the under butler. Close by, Lord Tobio (with Bokuto by his side) stood next to his grandfather (with Suga by his side) and Mistress Hinata ( with Daichi and Miss Shimizu on her side); they were going over the seating chart to ensure that old rival families were not seated together, engaged couples do, and that old flames did not mingled. Through a crack between the tent walls, Atsumu could made out Lady Natsu, Aihara, Oikawa, and Kuroo coming down the lane, each holding a basket of small gift for the guest. All of this preparation was for the garden party that Lord Kageyama was hosting to celebrate Lord Tobio's graduation and passing of all his exams.</p><p>"Going all out, isn't he?" Atsumu muttered to his lordship when they first arrived and came upon the white tent.</p><p>"He loves spoiling Kageyama," Lord Shouyou smiled.</p><p>Lord Kageyama was indeed in a jovial mood as he let out a belly-filled laughter while patting his grandson's back. Lord Tobio was pouting but Atsumu spied a small smile gracing his face when he pointed to a chart, which was set on the table. The guest list had hit a bit of a snag when last minute telegrams arrived to inform them that neither Madam Oikawa or Lady Kageyama was coming; the former was understandable as Madame Oikawa was in a neighboring country and the unexpected political issue in said country meant that her presence was required longer than intended; the latter, however, was cold as Lady Kageyama lived in the capital which was only a two days ride, her excuse was that an old friend was visiting and she simply must meet them.</p><p>However, according to Lord Shouyou, Lord Tobio seem far more relieved of this news than devastated. Atsumu would had to take his word for it as the young lord was as expressive as a rock.</p><p>"Did he not get along with his mother?" Atsumu asked as he set down a chair beside his lordship.</p><p>"They get along fine," Lord Shouyou replied. He looked at his friend again with a small frown before saying, "I told you before that Kageyama is a good son - he always does what he's been told and I had never seen him disobey her. But the thing is, if you meet Lady Kageyama, you too won't want to go against her. She is a really scary lady: no-nonsense, blunt, and doesn't smile! All she have to do is look at you like this," - his lordship narrowed his eyes, his smile straighten into a loose line that was both disapproving and unamused- "and you feel like you are nothing but a peddle under her shoes."</p><p>"Sounds like a person who get what she want."</p><p>"She <em>always</em> gets what she wants."</p><p>Regardless of what he felt of his mother's lack of presence, Lord Tobio was perturbed that his sister, Lady Miwa, could not come as a whole ocean was separating her from Celeste. There was also talk about a man name Akaashi, who seem to be a mentor of sort for the young lord, was not coming as well. Which meant that Lord Tobio would had to made do with a party filled with his university friends and close families friends of his grandfather - which was kind of sad to think of.</p><p>But earlier in the day, Lord Shouyou had the young lord out of his low by annoying the heck out of him with proud tears and heartfelt speeches of how Lord Tobio is now a full-adult and ready to enter the adult world only at twenty-two years old - while Lord Shouyou was turning twenty <em>three</em> in two days. Lord Tobio made to grab his head but his lordship dodged and the two had a mini game of tag around the tent which almost resulted in glasses of champagne toppling over.</p><p>Whatever tension that existed between the two the night before seem to have dispersed with that moment and Atsumu could see that Mistress Hinata and Lord Kageyama were quite relieved by this. Early that day, Lord Shouyou had told Atsumu that he wanted him to stop the "Making Lord Tobio Fall in Love with Him" schemes, he had decided that he wanted to talk to Lord Tobio directly about their engagement and other matters. Atsumu felt a large boulder lifted from his lungs at this and could barely keep his smile off his face or his voice - which had Kinoshita and Narita looking at him weirdly as he was grinning from ear to ear the entire morning. However, with the party preparation and the incoming guest ( which seem to be about twenty people at least), there won't be enough time or space for Lord Shouyou to get his heart-to-heart conversation. Not that his lordship seem too bothered by it as he was talking away about the guest list as he set the chairs.</p><p>"I haven't see Hoshiumi in so long - well, actually I had seen him last winter but anyway, I'm glad he is coming! He is a son of the Viscount of Kamomedai but since he is the second son, he won't inherit Kamomedai, which I heard is a huge castle! Yes, just like the Bosha Castle. That's why he's training to be a diplomat; well, he was studying law at first- that's how Kageyama met him. Anyway, Hoshiumi visited him about two summers ago and that's how I met him. He is a really amazing person who know everybody in the capitalm, which is where he live. Not to mention, he had traveled out of Celeste - it was actually thanks to him that I got to write to so many people about my studies. He is a year older than me but he never made a big deal of it.</p><p>Oh, yes, you will finally get to meet Ushijima! No, not Ukai - Ushijima, the one who live in Mador. Yes, the same town Sakusa is from. Ushijima's family owned a lot of land there - most of which are lived and worked by tenant farmers. But he had been living in the capital for a while now. That's right, he also attended Shiratorizawa University and was Kageyama's senior by two years. But Oikawa knew Ushijima better since they were in the same year. Right, Oikawa? You and Ushijima are good friends, right?" Lord Shouyou asked the lawyer just as he was entering the tent.</p><p>"Urg," Sir Oikawa scoffed, "Ushiwaka and I are not good <em>anything</em>! Why is he coming again? Don't he have some company to look over in the city?"</p><p>"Ushijima is planning to return to his family manor this summer so that he could start take over the estate issues," Lord Tobio interjected.</p><p>"Oh thank the Goddess, the city was started to feel cramp with him there," Sir Oikawa muttered. "Why, oh why can't Iwa-chan come?"</p><p>"He had a family situation to take care of," Lord Tobio answered.</p><p>"It's a rhetorical question, Little Tobio."</p><p>"Sounds like a merry crowd to look forward to," Atsumu muttered to Lord Shouyou. He <em>was</em> looking forward to meeting this Ushijima for anyone who could unnerved Sir Oikawa was in his good books. And if, for some reason, the seating chart were to have Sir Oikawa sitting next to Ushijima (when Mistress Hinata was sure she had them sitting a table apart), well Atsumu could not help it if his hands had a mind of its own!</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Lord Korai Hoshiumi arrived with a bang because he and Atsumu slammed into each other while the latter was hold three empty trays that fell onto a nearby table as Atsumu toppled over the chair. Lord Korai saved himself (and his white suit) from grass stains by using Atsumu's back to break his fall.</p><p>"Are you alright?" Lord Korai screamed into Atsumu's ear, momentarily deafening him as he tried to right himself up.</p><p>"What the fu- I mean, yes, yes."</p><p>After the two men got up and their clothes smoothed out of any wrinkles and stains, Atsumu got a good look of the man. It turned out that the man's suit was not the only thing white about him as his short hair was so pale it rivaled the unblemished snow. Lord Korai's wide eyes looked at him up and down and Atsumu was strongly reminded of a bird getting ready to pluck a worm.</p><p>"Say, you are -" Lord Korai started but something caught his attention and the next thing Atsumu knew he was pushed to the side as the white lord was leaping into Lord Shouyou's arm with a loud, "Shouyou Hinata!" His lordship gave out an equally loud cry of joy as they twirled around, away from the chairs.</p><p>The two men hugged for a few more seconds ( far too long in Atsumu's opinion) before they let go and fell into an easy chatter.</p><p>Lord Korai was not what Atsumu expected a friend of Lord Tobio to be like. But then if the young lord  considered Lord Shouyou to be his best friend than it should not be surprising that he might be friend with someone like Lord Korai, who was grinning too widely and talking too loudly to rival Bokuto. Interestingly enough, Lord Shouyou was not being his loud, energetic self - he was still smiling and still brimming with energy but it was more subdued; there was a more mature air around him as he answered Lord Korai's questions of what he had been up to all summer in a calmer tone.</p><p>"Oh, oh, Kageyama!" Lord Korai greeted when the young lord and Bokuto came toward them. The white lord did not ran up to him but gave a short nod that was returned.</p><p>"How long will you be staying?" Lord Shouyou eagerly asked.</p><p>"Till after the festival ends. No point in traveling during then. Thanks again for inviting me to stay over, Kageyama."</p><p>"It's no problem," Lord Tobio muttered.</p><p> At that moment, a shadow fell over Atsumu and he almost had a heart attack when a mountain of a man appeared.</p><p>"Shouyou Hinata," the mountain man greeted in a deep voice that rumbled Atsumu's ribcage. "Kageyama."</p><p>"Ushijima," Lord Shouyou greeted with pure happiness while Lord Tobio said, "hello."</p><p>Lord Wakatoshi Ushijima was the complete antithesis of Lord Korai in that he was exactly the sort of person Atsumu imagined to be Lord Tobio's friend: quiet, stoic, and Goddess's Grace did he looked like he could hit a wall and it would crumbled.</p><p>But that was the extant to what Atsumu saw of the four men as Daichi appeared and took him and Bokuto away to finish the preparation so that the Manor staff could started getting ready for the incoming guest.</p><p>"Hinata, who was that?" Lord Korai 's voice rang across the lawn and Atsumu sneaked a peek. The white lord was staring at him with a raised eyebrow before turning his attention to Lord Shouyou.</p><p>"That's Cesario, my new valet when Sakusa leave. He's the one I talk about in my letters."</p><p>A certain look came upon Lord Korai but due to the distance, Atsumu could not made a head or tail of it. Nonetheless, he thought no more of it as he stop himself from walking into Daichi, who had stopped short in horror at the sight of Suga carrying four trays of champagne with a manic grin in place.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>There was a good mix of young and old among the arriving guest; Bokuto gave a small introduction of each guest that came to his view but Atsumu did not found it helpful as it was a combination of gossip, personal memory, and random facts.</p><p>"That's Yahaba - I heard he beat up a man once because the guy angered him but I don't know if that is true cause Yahaba is quiet and sweet... like Suga! (Not a comparison Atsumu would had made since that meant Yahaba had a manic side to him but he kept that opiniun to himself) That's Kindaichi and Lord Kunimi - they are in the same year as Lord Tobio but Lord Shouyou used to called them turnip head. That one or was it the other one - ahhhh, both of their hair are so different! But everyone's hair is so different today- yours too. Are you keeping it like that all the time now?"</p><p>"Yeah," Atsumu said defensively as he lightly touched his hair, which he had styled similarly to last night. "What's wrong with it?"</p><p>"Nothing! It looks good! Really mature!" If any other person were to say this, Atsumu would be ninety-nine percent positive that he was being mocked but it was Bokuto so that was a low negative percent.</p><p>"Well, at least I don't look like I rolled out of bed five minutes ago," Atsumu said, thinking of Kuroo and his rooster-shape disaster of a hair. Really did that man ever heard of a comb or a hair gel?</p><p>This led to a tangent as Bokuto talked about his own hair and how it always fell onto his eyes when it was wet. The idea of a none-spiky Bokuto was so otherworldly that Atsumu had an image of a bald Bokuto, which had him wheezing for breath.</p><p>It was then that Bokuto remembered something that he had meant to tell Atsumu. </p><p>"The pavilion?" Atsumu repeated. "Who wanted me there?"</p><p>"Lord Kageyama," Bokuto happily replied. "He wanted to discuss something with you but did not want to alarm Lady Hinata or Lord Shouyou about it."</p><p>"Why? What did I do?" Atsumu looked around the field to see if he could catch the old man but the white tent obscured his view as did the various shade of black, gray, and brown of man suits ( Celestians really were an unimaginative bunch when it came to man's clothing - where was the splash of colors? Jewels? Knee-high boots?)</p><p>Bokuto could only shrugged and seeing Atsumu's worried expression, patted (slammed) his back in a soothing manner. "Don't worry, I'm sure it's nothing bad. Lord Kageyama is not a mean old person nor is he going to accuse you of something you did not do!"</p><p>Atsumu was not soothed. If anything his worry shot up to the hundredth as he scattered through his memory trying to remember the last time he was in the old man's presence and what he had said or done in front of him. Did today count? But the old man was more concentrated on the party preparation so maybe it was something before. How about the day of the fencing match when Atsumu had stumbled out of the pavilion in a somewhat rude manner. Maybe Lord Kageyama wanted to ask him how he was - but surely he could had asked Mistress Hinata or Lord Shouyou. Whatever this was, it was something the old man did not want the Hinatas to know. Could - Atsumu swallowed his saliva- could it be that the old man knew who Atsumu was? It was possible. Perhaps Sir Oikawa or Kuroo told him of how Atsumu reminded them of someone and perhaps that was what cause the old man to make a connection. No, that was ridiculous. As far as Atsumu knew the old man had never left Celeste nor did he seem interested in Astorian politics. At least, that was what Atsumu think he knew. Where was Suga when he needed him?</p><p>With a very heavy heart and a floating stomach, Atsumu made his way toward the pavilion. The easy chatter and playful music of the party felt like a mockery; it was so unfair that he had to go through an emotional hurricane during such a good day.  The hedged path that led to the pavilion was thankfully empty. However, the closer Atsumu got to the center of the garden, he could made out a series of noises that sounded like curse words, grunts, and gasps.</p><p>Peeking around the corner, Atsumu saw a young lady pacing around under the pavilion. Her head down while her shoulder shook when she suddenly let out a shriek and stomped the nearest column. Atsumu bit his lips to stop the laugh from bursting out as the lady lifting her skirt to stomp around like a five year old throwing a tantrum.  Atsumu looked around to see if there was anyone else around who would know the cause of such scene or was witnessing it along with him but there was no one around  - not even Lord Kageyama.</p><p>Just as he was deciding to gave the woman some more time to herself, he heard a sob and to his horror, the lady collapsed onto a seat and started crying into her hand.</p><p><em>Not your problem</em>, Atsumu thought as he slowly backed away. <em>Just find Lord Shouyou or maybe Mistress Hinata</em>, <em>they will know what to do</em>. Another snob sounded and then, a memory of Lady Natsu crying on the ground with her knee bleeding because she scrapped it during their <em>Tales</em> role play came to mind.</p><p><em>Ah, dammit</em>!</p><p>"'Cuse me," Atsumu said as he rounded the hedge and walked toward the lady, who had leapt up. "Are ya alright?"</p><p>"Yes, yes. I'm perfectly fine," The lady gave out a weak smile that was ruined by her watery eyes and tumbling mouth. She had freckles on both of her cheeks, which were pink.</p><p>Since he asked, his job was clearly done. But Atsumu's legs, the traitors they were, refused to budge.</p><p>"Sure," Atsumu drawled as he placed his hands on each side of his hip. "Look ma'am, ya cryin' in someone else's garden durin' a party. That don't sound 'perfectly fine' to me."</p><p>The lady blinked wetly at him before muttering a small "I suppose you are correct." She sighed and plopped back down on her seat as her shoulder sagged.</p><p>Atsumu briefly contemplated whether to sit or stand before throwing caution to the wind and sat by her. The lady did not complain nor did she rejected the handkerchief Atsumu gave her. This was when he noticed a folded letter on her lap. The splatter of water and the crumpled sides hinted that she must had been reading the letter when her emotional outburst began or perhaps the letter was the cause of said outburst?</p><p>"So what's the matter?" Atsumu asked, feeling a bit awkward as the two of them sat in tense silence. He realized he was unsure if he had the emotional capacity or empathy to hear her woes or gave her advice. Why didn't he called for Lord Shouyou? No doubt, that man would know what to do or wha to say that would had the lady smiling in a minute.</p><p>The lady did not say anything as she just dabbled her eyes with his handkerchief and bit her lips as she glanced at him. She quickly looked away when their eyes met.</p><p>"May I first ask who you are?" She asked. "I believe I have never seen you here before."</p><p>"Cesario, Lord Shouyou's new valet - just started recently."</p><p>The lady brighten at his lordship's name. "Oh, you're the one who -" she paused.</p><p>Finding her gaze more unnerving than the silence, Atsumu muttered, "look, do ya wanna talk to him cause I can get him."</p><p>But the lady shook her head and mumbled how she did not want to be an inconvenience to him. <em>Well, ya being an inconvenience to me right now</em>, Atsumu thought but he instead said, "so, out with it. What's bothering ya? If ya gonna just keep it in, it's not gonna do ya much good since ya just gonna talk to yerself in circles and keep me here in this weird situation. Better to have these things out and look for a solution, right?"</p><p>The lady had the gall to giggle and Atsumu as not sure to be insulted or glad he got her to finally stop crying. She fully turned to him so that they were face to face and for the first time, she smiled at him. "You are very forward, you know that?"</p><p>"I've been told."</p><p>"But the thing is my situation don't have a solution ... or at least, I am not sure what the solution is." She bit her lips again and looked over Atsumu as if scrutinizing his honesty and reliability. "You won't repeat what I say to others, would you?"</p><p>Atsumu snorted. So that was what she was worry about. "Don't worry, I got no friends to talk to and sides I'm not gonna spill ya secret just cause I feel like it. No offense, but I got better things to do than that."</p><p>She seem reassured  by this and explained her situation, pausing occasionally to gather her thoughts.</p><p>She was Lady Kaori Suzumeda of Fukurodani, a manor about a day south of Orion, and a former senior classmate of Lord Tobio from Shiratorizawa University. She was engaged to a Lord Saburou for months now under the agreedance of hers and his parents. It was a marriage of convience for Fukurodani had the title and land but no more money while Lord Saburou had the money but no title; she had every intention to marry him to help her parents who did not know what it was like to live without servants attending to their every whims. However, two unexpected occurrences had her hesitating to gave her agreement to the marriage.</p><p>The first was that she had finally met her fiancé two weeks ago and had found him to be an pompous, rude pig who she could not stand being next to let alone being married to. However, her parents were deaf to her complains and had insisted that she get to know him during the garden party - who knew perhaps she would find something charming about the man. However, five minutes into the party, she had been indirectly insulted by her so called-fiancé for he gave more attention to the female Manor staff ( Atsumu scowled deeply at this and intended to let Suga knew of this) than at Lady Kaori; he was always cutting in on her conversation with others; and seem to think that every words out of his mouth was in the right and every words out of her was in the wrong. The latest incident was when he humiliated her in front of her circle of friends that left her partly in tears and partly in rage - but doing either in public would made her and her family looked bad so she held it in with great restraint and left her fiancée by seeking shelter in the pavilion.</p><p>At this point in her story, Lady Kaori stopped and looked at the hedges in a dazed expression as she gently rub the letter before opening it.</p><p>The letter was from her lover from the capital. Her parents were unaware of her lover's existence who was a classmate of hers; both Lady Kaori and her lover had long since decided that they would stop their relationship when Lady Kaori's engagement to Lord Saburou was officially announced. In fact, she and her lover had stopped contact ever since Lady Kaori left the capital three months ago.</p><p>Until this morning when Lady Kaori was given the letter from her lady's maid, who loved her as a daughter to keep the letter away from the parent's eyes.  The letter (once again Lady Kaori paused as her face flushed a bright pink) asked her to not go through with the wedding; instead, her lover asked her if she was willing to lower herself in society's eyes by marring a merchant's daughter for even if the merchant's daughter may not have the wealth or a title, she have every intention to love Lady Kaori to her dying days and to make Lady Kaori happy as her wife.</p><p>(Atsumu's heart might had skipped a beat at this part).</p><p>And thus explained Lady Kaori's rage and tears: the humiliation of the day event and the content of the letter - the answer to her own insecurity over her lover's feelings- weighted on her shoulders and her soul split into two. One side wanted to accept the proposal, throw her entire lavish lifestyle away and be with the person she truly love, while the other side wanted to be a good daughter and follow her parent's wish and expectation of marrying a rich lord and furthering her family line.</p><p>The answer was obvious to Atsumu.</p><p>"Dump the guy and write yes," he said the minute Lady Kaori finished her story. She gave out a weak laugh.</p><p>"If only it's that easy."</p><p>"What's makin' it difficult?" Atsumu demanded. "It's ya life and Lord Arse (Lady Kaori looked at him in amusement) sound like a right bastard.  Ya don't know him till now, he made ya unhappy in only five minutes while ya lover - ya been together for two years, ya know what she is like and ya like her! Isn't that answer enough for ya?"</p><p>"There is my parents, society, my upbringing to think about."</p><p>"And not ya wealth or ya not sayin' it to not look materialistic?"</p><p>She blushed and angrily looked away, "you really are too forward."</p><p>"But ya care 'bout what other say 'bout ya."</p><p>"I-" she looked down at her hands as she played with her fingers. "Of course I do. That's how I've been raise! Look at others, look at what they say - if they say I am not enough, than I am not enough. If they say I am good, than I am good."</p><p>"But that's so restricting!" Atsumu gasped.</p><p>"And whatever I do, my parents are also affected. They had been kind to let me attend university and finished my degree before pushing this engagement on me. It would have been easy if I was the second daughter but as the only child, the responsibility of Fukurodani fell on me. I cannot repay my parents by rejecting them access to an easy life. Not to mention, they found him a perfect gentleman and a perfect son-in-law."</p><p>"Fine then, how 'bout ya parents marry the lord since they like him so much."</p><p>The Lady laughed out loud and Atsumu grinned before frowning as he saw that Lady Kaori's indecision were more external. Rather, her heart wanted to be with her lover but everything else was pointing to the advantages of marrying right. What was it with Celestian nobilities, Astorians even, arranging marriages and dictating people on who they must love and marry? Atsumu agreed with Lord Shouyou in this regard. If Atsumu's mother did this, he would had flat out said no and insulted his fiancée to get out of said agreement. Was that selfish of him - yes. Did he care - nope.</p><p>But then, in truth, Osamu was the more likely person to get engaged than Atsumu and that idiot would had no doubt go through with the engagement because he would see it as the right thing to do. But what was the point of breaking your back, allowing yourself to be humiliated, bowing in gratitude for people to only walk all over you? That was what kindness was - forcing yourself to do something for the sake of others who could not do the same for you.</p><p>"Look, ya know what ya want," Atsumu said. "That's obvious but in the end, its yer life. Yer parents aren't gonna to be married to him, ya are. Yer parents aren't gonna share a bed with him, ya are ( Lady Kaori gasped with a flushed face but Atsumu ignored her). So if ya really think of it, ya the one who gonna live with the consequences. If ya think ya can survive all yer life next to that man, marry him. If ya think that ya would be happy knowing that ya parents are looked after, marry him. But if ya think ya can fake it, then I gotta tell ya, lying to yerself isn't gonna work or last long. Thing about lies is that ya could only do so much before ya break.</p><p>If ya think that ya can live the rest of yer life with yer lover and her meager earning, write yes. If ya can see yerself happy away from having servants and doing yer own laundry ( though ya gotta really think 'bout this cause do ya know how long it take to clean that dress, dry it, and sew it?) write yes.  If ya can go on yer day, ignoring what other people say 'bout ya, write yes. But ya probably already know all this right?" A halted nod was given. "So in the end, I am just gonna ask this question: are ya happy?"</p><p>"Happy?"</p><p>"Yeah, happy. Feste said that happiness's something that comes and goes; we got no control over it cause it depends on what we're doin' at the moment. But I also say that when ya on yer deathbed and think back to yer life, can ya say ya were happy? What are the things ya would think back on in both of these situations? In which one, are ya happier?"</p><p>There was a rustling sound but it must be thewind or that devil cat moving among the bushes so Atsumu ignored it. Lady Kaori had her forefinger on her chin as her other hand held the letter, her eyes zipping through the lines. Her mouth worded "happy" as her head turned toward the blue sky before returning to Atsumu.</p><p>"What is this?" A sharp voice sounded causing both Atsumu and Lady Kaori to jump as a tall man came out from the hedges. His auburn hair gleamed horribly against the sun and his tie clashes ridiculously with it. Who was this man's valet or was it this man who lack taste?"</p><p>"Saburou," Lady Kaori gasped. Atsumu sniffed, that's her fiancé? She really should dump him, if not for his personality than at least for his lack of fashion sense.</p><p>"Love," the man beamed and Atsumu wanted to gag at the sweetness of his tone, "I have been looking all over for you. Who is this man? And what on earth are the two of you doing under there?"</p><p>There was an underlining threat in those question that had Atsumu more bemused than insulted.</p><p>"This is Cesario, Lord Shouyou's valet," Lady Kaori lifted her right hand while her left discreetly hid the letter in the fold of her dress. "He is helping me find my gloves -"</p><p>"While sitting down in the pavilion?"</p><p>"Well, he found it and I was putting it back on-"</p><p>"Then, you should have come back out. Really, I don't understand why you feel the need to waste this man's time. He surely had work to do. Do you not?"</p><p>Now Atsumu feel insulted not to mention annoyed at the lords' constant interruption. A sentiment Lady Kaori clearly felt going by her stiffen shoulders and shaking hands. "Nope."</p><p>"No? Lord Shouyou's valet ... the foreign one I believe."</p><p>"Yes," Atsumu said through gritted teeth.</p><p>Lord Saburou sniffed and walked toward Lady Kaori; he held his arm up. The young lady took it and Atsumu trumped down the need to ripe her hands off him and wipe them - who knew what this man had touched.</p><p>"Lord Shouyou should keep a close eyes on his servants; I always say that you can always tell the state of an estate by how the servants act and if Lord Shouyou is not careful, Karasuno will lose its prestige. Especially if he keep employing, "- Lord Saburou glanced at Atsumu- "outsiders. The state of this country with these people-"</p><p>Atsumu retched his jaw open to give Lord Arse his two cents on the "state of this country" when Lord Tobio appeared behind the lord. Immediately, Lord Saburou's easy manner shifted into something tense that had Lady Kaori giving Atsumu a questioning look.</p><p>"Ah," Lord Arse exclaimed, "the man of the hour. I was wondering where you were since you were not by the tent when I arrive." His voice was tight as if he was holding back words he truly wanted to say.</p><p>"Then you should not have arrive late," Lord Tobio said and turned away from him to greet Lady Kaori. Lord Arse blistered at the dismissal.</p><p>"Regardless," Lord Arse said, "a good host stay to ensure his guest are well looked after. I know it can be difficult for <em>you</em> but do try. You are no longer a child and as a man you have responsibilities. I heard you have pass your examination, congratulations. But it is not going to get any easier so it is best to learn to be respectable to your seniors."</p><p>"But you are not my senior since you drop out in your second year so I don't know what I can learn from you," Lord Tobio returned. Atsumu let out a small laugh. He did not know if the young lord was doing all this on purpose or was being his usual blunt self but it was doing wonders on Lord Arse's facial colors. Lady Kaori, who was biting her lips to hide her own grin, foresaw the inevitable show-down and reminded Lord Arse that he was looking for her for a reason. It was not long before the two left. The young lady gave Atsumu a small wave with a weak smile as they rounded the corner.</p><p>Atsumu hoped that she took his advise and dump the arrogant toad-head.</p><p>"What didja do to make him hate ya?" Atsumu asked as he stood beside the young lord.</p><p>"Well, I suppose Satoshi being his younger brother did not help."</p><p>Satoshi? Now why did that name sound familiar - <em>Satoshi, Satoshi, ah</em>! The drunkard from the alumni party Kuroo had talked about on his first night back. "He think ya the one who did the prank."</p><p>Lord Tobio gave off a smile that send shiver down Atsumu's spine. It was a smile that was more of a threat than of reassurance. "Satoshi probably written to him about it but he have no evidence to implicate me."</p><p>"But Lord Arse believed him."</p><p>"Lord <em>what</em>?" Now the young lord looked bemused. Today really was a good day, Lord Tobio looked more relaxed than Atsumu had ever seen him.</p><p>"Lord Arse. Ya know, cause he got a stick up his arse and he got a head of one."</p><p>"But he does not look like one?"</p><p>"It wasn't literal - never mind," Atsumu sighed.</p><p>"Since you are here-" Lord Tobio said as he placed his hand into his jacket pocket. But his face twisted in confusion when it came out empty-handed. He started petting his jacket and plunging into his other pockets. Atsumu observed this in an amused manner, how many pockets does his jacket have?</p><p>Suddenly, it struck to Atsumu that the pavilion was a perfect location for a meeting that one did not want to be disturbed on, seeing as there was no one around.</p><p>"Wait here," Atsumu exclaimed as he started walking down the lane. "I will be right back. Don't go anywhere!" He pointed at the young lord, who looked a bit bewildered but nonetheless gave a short nod.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Atsumu found Lord Shouyou easily as his red hair was a beacon under the sun. He was with Lady Natsu and Lord Ushijima by the lake. After his lordship's eyes fell on Atsumu's, he excused himself, and made his way toward Atsumu.</p><p>"Hello, you. I was wondering where you were," Lord Shouyou beamed.</p><p>"Lord Tobio is at the pavilion."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I saw Lord Tobio at the pavilion. And ya wanted to speak to him about your engagement, right? No one's at the pavilion right now and it's good to get this over with so that ya don't have that hangin' over ya head."</p><p>Lord Shouyou quickly agreed and the two men made their way back to the garden which proved to be a difficult endeavor as every guest wanted to greet and talk with his lordship. Lord Shouyou eloquently and easily got himself out of it all by citing an emergency letter he needed to see to.</p><p>When they arrived closer to the center of the hedged garden, Atsumu slowed down and told his lordship to go alone as his presence would not be needed. Lord Shouyou nodded and gave him thanks as he turned around the corner. </p><p>Now that he was alone, Atsumu found himself torn between listening in on the conversation or letting the two lords had their privacy. After a good minute, Atsumu decided that he could simply asked his lordship and turned around - only to find his path blocked by Sir Oikawa, who was giving him a disappointed look.</p><p>"What are you doing?" He hissed as Atsumu stopped in front of him. "Why did you called Shouyou over to the pavilion?"</p><p>"Wh-Pardon?" Atsumu said. Before he could asked Sir Oikawa to explain himself, there was movement behind him and he heard Lord Shouyou's carefree laughter. Without thinking, he pushed himself into the bushes only to find Kuroo already there.</p><p>"What the hell?" Atsumu exclaimed before remembering himself. He whispered, "whacha doin' here?"</p><p>More sound of rustling and Sir Oikawa appeared next to Kuroo, shushing him to be quiet as the voices of Lord Shouyou and Lord Tobio got nearer until they were right in front of the bushes the trio was hiding behind.</p><p>Atsumu cursed in his head as his hand touched something soft and wet; he hoped to hell that it was only mud and nothing else. He could only imagined the strain this would had on his trousers - the cleaners of Karasuno House were going to kill him; that was, not before Daichi get to him first. Some of the twigs snagged parts of the cloth around his hands and he knew if there was a cut, he would be the one to sew it for Aihara would not do it for him. He could asked Chizuru but Aihara would had thrown the jacket back at him the minute she found out.</p><p>"So, what are you doing here in the first place?" Lord Shouyou asked.</p><p>"I am here to meet Cesario - at least he ask me to come here."</p><p>"He did?" His lordship's voice sounded a bit choked.</p><p><em>I did</em>? Atsumu repeated in his head.</p><p>"He wrote me a letter." From a small opening through the branches and leaves, Atsumu saw Lord Tobio took out a paper from his inner pocket.</p><p>"He did?"</p><p><em>I did</em>?</p><p>"Yes, but he then he walked away and brought you here so I don't really know what he went. Here's the letter." Lord Tobio passed the paper to Lord Shouyou. With each passing seconds, his lordship's eyebrows flew up until it almost disappeared behind his bangs. He finally looked up with the most perplexed expression.</p><p>"Kageyama, this letter is written in Celestian Toria."</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Cesario can't write Celestian Toria- much less read it."</p><p>"I know." Lord Tobio nodded and frowned. "But I assume he had someone written it for him as I can't read Astorian Toria. Like what he did with that first letter, remember?"</p><p>"The first letter? Oh right, the love letter.  That's right ( Lord Shouyou gave out a nervous laugh) I was the one who wrote that for him. But this one ... this is Kuroo's handwriting," his lordship exclaimed after he looked over the letter the second time. Lord Tobio looked at him, shock apparent in his face.</p><p>"What? No, it's not. That does not look like his handwriting."</p><p>"That's because he wrote this with his left hand - Kenma once told me that Kuroo had been practicing writing with his left hand and I had seen a sample of it. See this "g" and "s" they are the exact shape and length as how he write with his right hand." Lord Shouyou placed his face between the juncture of his thumb and forefingers of his left hand. "Now why would he write a letter to you pretending to be Cesario?"</p><p>Atsumu turned toward Sir Oikawa and Kuroo outraged.</p><p>"Damn, didn't thought he would notice it so quickly," Kuroo muttered.</p><p>Sir Oikawa breathed out, "Shouyou can be annoyingly perspective sometimes."</p><p>Neither of them sounded upset or guilt-ridden at their scheme being exposed. Before Atsumu could let loose his own anger, Sir Oikawa stood up and after lightly dusted his knee, walked out of the bushes.</p><p>"Oikawa! What are you doing in the bush?" His lordship asked.</p><p>Sir Oikawa gave some excuse of having thought his button fallen off but apparently it was only some else's earring that caught his eyes. Now, he could not help but overheard their conversation of a letter. Lord Shouyou and Lord Tobio showed him the paper and the three men walked away until their voices were lost behind the hedges.</p><p>"You bastard," Atsumu hissed like an angry goose toward Kuroo.</p><p>The lawyer's valet simply stared at him, "won't deny it but can you explain why you say that?"</p><p>Atsumu slammed his hands onto the ground, no longer caring if the dirt smeared his hands, sleeves, or pants as he glared at the conniving conman-in-hiding. "What were you two plannin'? Writing a letter to Lord Tobio like that? Are ya tryin' to get me in trouble?"</p><p>"Oh, no such sort. We are merely trying to help you and Lord Tobio along."</p><p>"Wha- wait a minute. <em>Ya</em>, it's ya who told Bokuto that Lord Kageyama want to see me!"</p><p>Kuroo gave a grin. "Well, well. Looks like Lord Shouyou's not the only one who is perspective. But why are you so upset?"</p><p>"Because for the past days, I've been tryin' to get Lord Shouyou and Lord Tobio together!"</p><p>Kuroo laughed out that sounded like a mix between a donkey and hyena. "Goodness, what a band of match makers we are!"</p><p>"I'm gonna strangle ya then I'm gonna strangle yer lord!"</p><p>"Careful, kid, you don't want to leave any evidence behind- won't look good in court."</p><p>"No wonder my plans haven't been working cause ya two been messin' it up."</p><p>"I won't put it that way," Kuroo said. "Today is the only time Sir Oikawa and I did anything so any errors in the past tries are not on us."</p><p>"And me and Lord Tobio?" Atsumu exclaimed, not really listening. "What on earth gave ya two this stupid idea?"</p><p>Kuroo did not answer immediately. He calmly placed his weight onto his heel in the most slowest manner that was meant to aggravate Atsumu, who was half in mind to push him onto the ground. "Well, we are going more on Sir Oikawa's observation and Sir Oikawa is never wrong. Besides, he would not have acted on this matchmaking scheme if he had not felt some truth in it."</p><p>"Whatcha tryin' to say? There is nothin' between Lord Tobio and me!"</p><p>"You really are dense." Kuroo leaned closer toward Atsumu, who moved away immediately. "For two people you are so keen on getting together, neither Lord Shouyou or Lord Tobio been giving each other much attention as they have been giving <em>you</em>."</p><p>"Ya jokin'" Atsumu scoffed.</p><p>"You are a strange fellow."  Kuroo hummed with his cat grin in place. "Why is it so hard for you to see that people might actually like you? Do you enjoy playing <em>victim</em> that much?"</p><p>Atsumu stood up so quickly that he might as well had teleported away from Kuroo, who was still blinking at the empty space as Atsumu walked out of the hedges. His head was pounding like a volcano minutes away from an eruption as Kuroo's words swirled around him like a hurricane.</p><p><em>Bastard</em>! Like what the hell did he know? Barging in with his master as if they own the damn place and doing whatever the damn they like. What the hell did they know - Atsumu had a lifetime of examples to give on how he was the least likely person for people to fall in love with. Osamu even said so himself and no one knew Atsumu better than Osamu. Of course, his brother had been joking at the time but Atsumu had taken that view to heart for it was the only legitimate explanation as to why he was still a bachelor while Osamu had gotten confessions, gifts almost on a weekly bases (some from the very people who wanted them dead). Besides, the onetime Atsumu had thought his feelings were reciprocated, he had been let down.</p><p><em>So go to hell, Kuroo</em>!</p><p>He really needed a drink - he wondered if Lev still had the key to Yaku's secret stash.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>
  <em>-<span class="u">twelve years ago, Vega, Astoria</span>-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I hate ya!" Atsumu screamed into his twin's face as he ripped the blanket off him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu blinked drowsily as the blinding sun stung his eyes. He rolled over with a groan and muttered "Whadjawant?" before closing his eyes, returning to sleep. But Atsumu was having none of that. He shook his brother's shoulder that resulted in Osamu kicking him in the stomach. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why ya gotta have my face?" Atsumu exclaimed as Osamu washed his face to get rid of the last remnants of sleep. Not that it did him any good, his eyes were still half-opened and he was moving sluggishly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What ya talkin' 'bout?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu's response was cut off by the arrival of the head maid who greeted the boys cheerfully as she laid their breakfasts down on the table. Osamu's tray had the addition of three red boxes while Atsumu's tray only held his breakfast. Atsumu glared at the boxes as if he was wishing they would gone up in flame.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What's this?" Osamu asked as he picked up one of the box and rattled it around. There was a soft sound of a hard object hitting the paper walls. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yer chocolate," Atsumu sneered. Osamu's perplexed look only serve to anger his twin who shouted, "its Lovers' Day, dummy!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A look of understanding came upon Osamu which turned into a snigger as he looked at his brother's tray. "Ya didn't get any this year again."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu picked up a pillow and threw it at Osamu, who easily dodged it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why ya so upset 'bout it anyway? Ya always said Lovers' Day's for loser," Osamu stated, leaning over to dodge another thrown pillow. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was only half way through their breakfast that Atsumu felt calm enough to admit the cause of his bad mood. He had waken early to practice his sword work in the garden. When he was returning back to his room, the one he shared with Osamu, he was stopped by one of the gardeners ("Which one?" Osamu asked. "The one 'bout our age," Atsumu replied dismissively). The boy had a very pink face and was very frigidity as he started sprouting how he had found Atsumu interesting - not to mention handsome- and he was hoping that Atsumu did not found him presumptive for saying so. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ohhhh, so he like ya- that's a first," Osamu muttered, Atsumu glared at him. "What? Found him too 'common' just cause he's a gardener?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No," Atsumu said in a manner that indicated that he did thought that. Apparently, what had really boiled his blood was that the gardener had called him "Osamu" at the end of the confession. OSAMU! As in his freaking twin, the idiot had mistaken Atsumu for Osamu. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ahhh, that makes more sense," Osamu nodded. Atsumu threw another pillow at him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So much for admiring ya," Atsumu sneered. "Can't even tell ya apart from me. And why didja get so many chocolate! We have the same face - how come I never get any?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maybe cause no one like ya."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ooorrr maybe they mistaken ya for me and that's why ya always get chocolate."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu snorted, "nay, look. They have my name on them. Face it, Tsumu, no one like ya - can ya really blame them?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Whatcha mean?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I mean ya rude - ya don't listen when other's are talking and ya are definitely the type to forget anniversaries and birthdays unless its yer own. Not good qualities in a lover." Osamu then self-importantly chew on an apple. He waited for another rebuttal but when none came he opened his eyes to find his brother leaning against his breakfast tray with a deep frown. Swallowing the apple, Osamu asked, "What's wrong? Got nothin' to say?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu still said nothing and continued on eating his breakfast with such determination that one would think his life depended on him finishing his meal. Since this meant Osamu could eat in peace, he did not complain. When all the bowls and plates were empty into his belly, Osamu opened one of the boxes. There were five pieces inside and based on the color, they must be dark chocolate. He sneaked a peek at his twin who was still sitting in contemptuous silence.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu sighed. It was so tiring keeping up with his brother's mood, especially since they tended to affect Osamu's own moods. He knew he was not going to hear the end of this for the next weeks, just as the years before. Frankly, he did not understand what the big deal was. Yes, he got chocolates - so what? If Tsumu wanted it so much, he could just get some from the kitchen or ordered some from Aran. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Here," Osamu said, passing a single piece of chocolate to his twin. Atsumu glared at it as if it was the most offensive thing he ever seen but he took it nonetheless, and gobbled it up like the uncultivated pig he was.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Goddess," Atsumu exclaimed, immediately sticking his tongue out. "What is this? It's disgusting!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's dark chocolate."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I hate it!"</em>
</p><p><em> <span class="u">Geez, what a shock</span> </em> <em>, Osamu thought as he opened another box. </em></p><p>
  <em>"Bet someone's gonna confess to ya later today," Atsumu muttered after he swallowed the chocolate (his expression made it clear it was the hardest thing he had to do. Dramatic ass). </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's what botherin' ya- that ya don't get confess on? Whhhyy, got someone in mind?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No!" Atsumu picked up another pillow menacingly and Osamu readied himself by picking one up himself. "It's just ... why ya?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu bit his lips and said, "it's always ya gettin' the attention, gettin' confess on, and gettin' chocolates. I - never got that. Why? We have the same face, so what if my personality is bad, it's not like any of them know ya that well as well. So... why is it always ya?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu was going to reply sarcastically but something in his brother's tone and expression stopped him. He realized that for Atsumu to readily admit this ( at nine in the morning) with less fanfare  (lesser than usual) meant that this had been stewing in his brother's mind for a while.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I dunno - maybe cause yer a late-bloomer."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"A what?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I meant that maybe ... liking ya," - Osamu made a disgusted face and hoped that this would be the last time they talked about Atsumu's non-existent love life because Goddess, he could not do this on a monthly bases;there must be a limit to things he do for Atsumu- "it happen later in life. Ya know what mom said, ya don't always love the same type of person all yer life - ya may like something when ya young but as ya grew, ya end up preferring something else. I mean, we are only thirteen, we got a lifetime ahead of us. So maybe that's ya - ya just someone who only when ya old people can understand and like."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So I gotta wait till I'm old with white hair for someone to like me?" Atsumu exclaimed in horror. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Just how old do ya think is 'old?'" Osamu asked irritated.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The geezers' age."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, I hope ya got someone by then cause I cannot stand hearing ya moan about this forever!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hey, I'm not moaning 'bout this."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh, okay, throwing a temper tantrum - did that sound better?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu puffed out his check in frustration and slammed his head onto the pillow. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And it won't hurt for ya to change some bad habits," Osamu continued. This had Atsumu getting up, looking very offended.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So no one's gonna like me unless I change my personality?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not yer whole personality but like some of it - like tone down yer expectations. Not everyone's a perfectionist like ya and not everyone does things a hundred percent motivated."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, I don't get it," Atsumu folded his hands. "If they can't like me for me being myself than why should I be with them?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu looked to heaven, seeking strength from them before looking at his idiot of a brother. "Because relationships are hard work - ya don't just get together cause ya wanna be together. <span class="u">Ya gotta work for it</span> to make it last long. And if that mean ya gotta change some parts of yerself to make ya - partner happy than ya gotta do it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu clearly did not like this based on his deepening frown and tense shoulder. After a few more seconds of peace, he finally decided that that sound stupid and unnecessary - he's not going to change for someone he did not know he would be with forever. Osamu did not want to continue this discussion so he happily let it end for it seem that Atsumu had found a reason as to why not getting confess on was a good thing. </em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Unfortunately, Lev did not had the key anymore as Kuroo had found it a few days ago, which meant Yaku found out not long after. Kuroo and Sir Oikawa really were demons send from hell to make Atsumu's life a misery. And so he had to make do with a glass of water. Not at all helpful but refreshing to his parched throat all the same.</p><p>Bokuto found Atsumu sulking outside the tent and asked him how his meeting want. For the life in him, Atsumu could not be mad at the valet's part in Sir Oikawa and Kuroo's scheme - partly because the man was beaming with so much energy that Atsumu felt tired just looking at him.</p><p>"Your friend and his master are a royal pain in my arse," Atsumu said instead. Bokuto tilled his head with a small pout as he thought it over.</p><p>"Pain? Well, I suppose, Sir Oikawa's a good fencer so I guess he can beat you in a match - Kuroo is a good shot too."</p><p>Now, Atsumu felt insulted and he started fiercely defending his own fencing abilities- how if he and Sir Oikawa were to fight, he could beat him within a minute - no, twenty seconds blindfolded!</p><p>"Who is getting blindfolded?" Lord Shouyou asked - his and Lord Korai's heads peeking out from the tent followed by Lord Tobio and Lord Ushijima. Thankfully, Sir Oikawa and Kuroo were not with them - Atsumu supposed it was because the lawyer did not want to be in the same presence as Lord Ushijima. Lord Tobio was looking at him and Atsumu wondered if he was going to ask about the letter. He hoped not. The very thought of the letter made him want to punch the nearest tent pole. Thankfully, the young lord must not had wanted to embarrassed himself for he said nothing.</p><p>"Cesario, m'lord! He said he could do anything blindfolded," Bokuto happily answered.</p><p>"I won't recommend it, " Lord Ushijima said. "It is disorienting and do more harm than good especially if you are handling a weapon or talking a walk."</p><p>"Have <em>you</em> been blindfolded before?" Lord Shouyou asked, his eyes brimming with curiosity that was on par with Lord Korai's. Atsumu too was looking at the man as if he held all the secrets to the universe.</p><p>Lord Ushijima nodded calmly and explained the mechanics of a childhood game he had played with Sir Oikawa. In all seriousness, Atsumu thought Sir Oikawa had wanted to do more harm since the lawyer had Lord Ushijima walked around the garden blindfolded without help and he did not even shout out directions. The only reason why Lord Ushijima got out of this intact was due to the fact that someone named Iwaizumi had been present and he was the one who did the shouting. When Atsumu muttered this theory to his lordship, Lord Shouyou disagreed and believed it was more to do with competitiveness for "Oikawa considered Ushijima as his rival ever since they were children and he always felt the need to one-up him in everything. It's the same with Oikawa and Kageyama too."</p><p>"And ya and Lord Tobio," Atsumu pointed out.</p><p>Lord Shouyou thought it over and had the gall to say he believed he and Kageyama could stopped at anytime. Must Atsumu reminded him of the fencing incident from two days ago? His lordship waved it away dismissively for fencing was a different story. This caught Bokuto's ear and he went on to exclaim that the fencing match was the best he had seen which prompted Lord Korai to ask "what match." And after all was explained, (with numerous interruption about the weather, the size of the manor's door compared to other houses', the decors in the parlor room, the wideness of the library, the proper occasions to wear the color white) Lord Korai challenged Lord Shouyou to a match. Of course, his lordship eagerly accepted and both looked like they were about to change into their fencing gear (yes, Lord Korai brought his own) when Lady Natsu appeared to reminded them all that Lord Tobio was needed in the tent for the speeches and toast.</p><p>"Really, brother, you need to learn to time things better! You will make a bad host!" She frowned in a very Mistress Hinata fashion as Lord Shouyou gambled out a reply.  All of the them entered the tent; while Lord Tobio, Lord Shouyou, and Lady Natsu moved toward the center, Atsumu and Bokuto remained in the back with Lord Korai and Lord Ushijima. Feeling someone's eyes on him, Atsumu looked around to find the culprit being Lord Arse. His face had lost its cool, gentleman exterior and now exhibiting an ugly sneer and flaring nostrils. Quite unperturbed by this, Atsumu looked away - he did not bothered to hide this and if it angered the man, <em>good</em>. That arrogant toad-head needed to be put down a notch.</p><p>"So, how long have you been here?" Lord Korai asked; his bird-like eyes were on Atsumu and he felt like they were reaching into his soul. But Atsumu did not looked away for he felt it was a sign of weakness. </p><p>"About six months," Atsumu replied, feeling like he had this conversation before.</p><p>"Have you been anywhere else other than Orion and Marton?"</p><p>"Nope." <em>Good Goddess, does this man ever blink</em>?</p><p>Lord Korai hummed; then, Lord Kageyama began his congratulatory speech and the white lord finally looked away. Atsumu spend a majority of the speech blinking the life out of his eyes to relieve them. It was a pity Lord Korai never continued his study on law, his unrelenting stare would had made him a good prosecutor.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>The white tent was constructed not far from a lake that was part of the Manor property. It was not as huge as Bosha lake but neither was it small. It was deep enough and long enough for row boats to drift through. A long, white dock extended inward to the lake and the boats were tied to its sides. However, swimming was strongly prohibited due to the long weeds found at the bottom of the lake that had a nasty habit of tangling itself around swimmers' legs and dragging them to a watery grave.</p><p>Atsumu shivered as Lord Shouyou explained this and he rejected the lord's offer on getting on a row boat. He did not want to tempt faith. Some of the guests had drifted away from the tent to take a stroll around the lake in which a pathway had been constructed for that very purpose while younger guest, mostly couples, had taken the boats out and were drifting at a steady pace.</p><p>The two of them and Lord Tobio were standing on the dock as they had just helped Lady Natsu onto a boat with Lord Ushijima. Lord Korai had taken his own boat with another guest and they were racing to catch up with the young lady.</p><p>A sharp  tapping sound behind them announced the presence of another guest; it was a thin lady dressed from head to top in red that Atsumu momentarily thought she was rose - not the full bloom ones, but the ones that were shivering from the heat and lack of water. Following her was Lord Arse and that was when Atsumu saw the resemblance between the two.</p><p>"So," the woman shrilled, "Lord Shouyou, I am sorry to have to be the one to say this but one of your staff have been behaving very badly toward my brother."</p><p>His lordship blinked at her and he shared a look with Atsumu as if to ask if this was really happening. Atsumu could only shrugged as he had a good idea what this was about. He glanced at Lord Tobio, who was looking at Lord Arse with narrowed eyes.</p><p>"I see," Lord Shouyou said and he waved his hand for her to continue.</p><p>"Your valet, "- the woman brought out her hand toward Atsumu- "Ceasa, I believe ("Cesario," Lord Shouyou corrected, he was ignored) had acted most improperly toward my soon to be sister-in-law."</p><p>"What?" Lord Shouyou and Atsumu exclaimed.</p><p>Lord Arse give a grieve nod as if it pain him to share such a news- <em>asshole</em>. "I had came upon him placing my fiancée in a compromising position -"</p><p>"We were just sitting next to each other!" Atsumu thundered. The woman took a sharp intake of breath.</p><p>"That is most improper," she exclaimed, looking as if she was five seconds away from fainting. Except there was no chair for her to lay on so she had to made do with the situation.</p><p>"Ya can't be serious! Lady Ka-"</p><p>"Please do not throw away my fiancée's name as you please."</p><p>"And please shut up so I can listen to what my valet have to say," Lord Shouyou snapped. Feeling vicious, Atsumu gave his story, without mentioning what Lady Kaori had told him of course. Lord Tobio also added that he was there and had saw nothing scandalous.</p><p>"You arrived at the last moment," Lord Arse said, "your words are not evidence."</p><p>"I was actually there before you arrived. You even ran past me but you did not noticed me as you were too busy muttering to yourself," Lord Tobio said coolly.</p><p>"Well, this is obviously a simple misunderstanding," Lord Shouyou said.</p><p> Atsumu quickly nodded and said, "ya should ask Lady Kaori, she will tell ya -"</p><p>"It is my fiancée who told me this. She was most shaken by his conduct and I assure you that what I say is the truth," Lord Arse said calmly.</p><p>"Oh ya <em>listen</em> to her. Thank the Goddess, and here I thought ya were making it up, you laying asshole," Atsumu hissed.</p><p>The woman pointed at Atsumu with a disgusted look, "You -you, how dare you! My lord, surely you cannot let him talk to my brother in such a manner. I have heard about him but this is beyond anything I have imagine. You simply cannot not ignore this behavior. "</p><p>"I don't see why not. It look like the appropriate behavior to act when accused of something he did not do," Lord Shouyou said. The woman looked dumbstruck at the coldness in his voice.</p><p>Lord Arse, however, got past his own shock as he took a step - the creak of the wood under his foot was a threat that had Atsumu moving to his lordship's side so that if worse come to worse, Atsumu could stopped any incoming fists or kicks.  Lord Shouyou seem to notice as well for he straightened his spine and his body brimmed with preparedness; Lord Tobio took a few steps forward so that he was closer to Lord Arse. This location was not an ideal situation as the width of the dock could only fit four full grown men; there was not enough room to run or step on without falling into the lake.</p><p>"If you must know Lord Shouyou, I believe that your valet had been in communication with my fiancée long before today."</p><p>"That's a lie!" Atsumu shouted but Lord Arse continued on, "she had been secretive lately and had been writing to someone. I fear that I am being cheated on so you see why I am most distress about this. I do not like being make a fool of so if you valet would just admit to the affair, I would not charged him for adultery. "</p><p>Atsumu's argument (and list of insults) choked at his throat as Lord Arse's words washed over him. <em>Affair</em>? <em>Adultery</em>? <em>What the flying fuck</em>?</p><p>"Do you have evidence?" Lord Shouyou asked. His eyes never leaving Lord Arse who was good ten inches above him but then when had height been an issue for his lordship.</p><p>"Today was evidence."</p><p>"Not enough for court," Lord Tobio interjected.</p><p>Lord Arse gave off a patronizing laugh, "Lord Tobio do you really believe the court would believe the words of a outsider compare to mine? Do you really thing that the court care about evidence when my words are enough as one."</p><p>"Yes," Lord Tobio said.</p><p>"Then university was wasted on you - in this world only money and name can get you anywhere."</p><p>"So you intended to convict Cesario on a fanciful notion based on today events and on your insecure paranoia ," Lord Shouyou said.</p><p>The first crack on the façade appeared as Lord Arse's face redden. "There is nothing insecure about this - I have witness with my own eyes this affair-"</p><p>"You said, Lady Kaori told you of Cesario's behavior."</p><p>"I will admit she claimed that nothing had occur but I can see from her behavior that she was lying. I know my fiancée well."</p><p>"No, ya don't. Ya only met two weeks ago," Atsumu said but immediately regret it when the asshole looked vicious as he flung out his hand.</p><p>"See! How did you know this if you were not in contact with her? No one know this but us. Lord Shouyou, I know you have your eccentricities but you need to be loyal to own kind. And you may think you are being a benevolent master but a good master always see to it that his servants are disciplined for their wrongs -"</p><p>"Leave."</p><p>"- excuse me?"</p><p>"<em>Leave</em>, you and Lady Sachi are no longer welcome here - Kageyama?"</p><p>"I have no complain," Lord Tobio replied.</p><p>"Lord Shou-" Lord Arse started but Lord Shouyou was already walking past him, he did not even give the man a glance.</p><p>"You and Lady Sachi are only here because of Lady Kaori but since both of you see fit to make trouble and start unnecessary accusation on <em>my</em> staff, I no longer see the point of your presence here. " Lord Shouyou stopped by Lady Sachi and looked back - his golden eyes shone under the shadows of his bangs that was not out of place of a crow ready to attack. "You are correct money and name can get you anywhere, but I have both. Far more than you do so Lord Saburou do you really want to go through with the conviction? I do not care about my reputation, I don't care if this court case will cast Karasuno in a bad light but can you say the same of your family? I have ever intention to fight you in court if you are so determined but know that I will give you no mercy. Now, get out before I have Lord Kageyama's staff do it."</p><p>"You," Lord Arse choked. His hands shook in a frenzy and his face had broken to a nasty shade of red. However, neither Lord Shouyou or Lord Tobio gave him a look as both started walking back to land, where Sir Oikawa, Kuroo, and Lady Kaori were. The young lady was breathing deeply and she looked very distressed as her eyes flew to all their faces. Atsumu made to follow but sudden movement caused him to stop and he saw the fist making its way toward the back of Lord Shouyou's head.</p><p>"Look out!" Atsumu shouted as he ran and grabbed the asshole's hand; the sudden intrusion of the speed succeeded to stop the attack but now angry eyes that were no different from a bull seeing red were now on Atsumu. He quickly let go and made to run but another incoming fist had him dodging it and next thing he knew he was at the other end of the dock with the lake at his back.</p><p>This was not good; Atsumu was a good fighter but hand-to-hand combat was not his forte - it was Osamu's.</p><p>Another fist was flying toward him and Atsumu had enough sense to dodge but his foot slipped on the wet floor; for a moment he was weightless, his feet touching nothing, than with a shock that electrified his entire body, something hit his back hard and he was falling.</p><p>The world was dark, wet, and directionless. Everything was invading his senses and when he opened his mouth, he felt something entered his throat that made him choked - something was restricting his nose for no oxygen was entering. Pressure was expanding in his lungs and brain; when he moved his arms and legs, he realized a lot more energy was needed from something not solid but not air was restricting his movement.</p><p>He needed to get up but the more he moved his legs, the harder it was for him to determined which way was which.<em> The storm above was not helping as he broke the surface; only to be submerged again with the incoming wave that had him tumbling around in the perpetual darkness</em> -</p><p>Atsumu struggled against the haze and he pushed onward only to feel something pulling him back - one of his legs seemed to get tangled up with something - <em>the mast of the ship</em>- No! Lakes don't have ships; then what was pulling him? <em>Osamu! Where was Osamu - he was holding onto a raft</em>, no, there was no raft, Atsumu was standing on the dock, so he was-</p><p>- gasping for breath as his body dropped onto the ground, his hands tickled at the feel of something long, thin, and soft - grass. He was back on land. Every sound was amped to the eleven and he could not made up which was which. The sun glare was as invasive as the darkness and he could sworn he was still underwater with how heavy his head was. Was it even connected to his shoulders?</p><p>He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead onto his forearm - trying with all his might to breathe calmly but it was impossible as if his heart was galloping from an avalanche - trying to get his blood working and lungs functioning.</p><p>Goddess, could everything shut up?!</p><p>He started coughing and an ache shot through the back of his neck; he stumbled onto his side.</p><p>A gentle touch on his face, on his shoulder and after a good cough he opened his eyes to find two faces looking down at him - bright orange that rivaled the burning sun and two, clear blue orbs that must had been the moons. Atsumu blinked some more and the faces cleared to revealed Lord Shouyou and Lord Tobio - both of their hair were dripping and both were panting hard. Neither were wearing their jacket so their white shirt clung to their bodies like second skins.</p><p>"Samu? Where's Osa-" Atsumu blinked as the memory came back to him. Lord Arse and his sister's accusations; the fist coming toward him. He moved his head and his nose was tickled by the grass - that's right, he was not at the beach, there was no storm. He blinked at the lords in front of him. "W-why are ya wet?"</p><p>Lord Shouyou let out a breath and Lord Tobio's shoulders relaxed.</p><p>"You fell into the lake," his lordship gasped. He pushed back his bangs but his unruly hair refused to be tamed and they fell back on his forehead.</p><p>"Here, let's get you back to the manor," Lord Tobio said as he lightly grabbed Atsumu's shoulder. Lord Shouyou took his other shoulder; both men help Atsumu sat up. He saw that he was sitting at the edge of the lake, he could see people running toward where he was. Through the thong, he could made out the white of the dock. He tried to move his left leg and felt something tight around it - it was weed.</p><p>Not understanding what was going on Atsumu leaned onto Lord Tobio and the movement of the young lord's chest made him aware of the argument he and Lord Shouyou were having.</p><p>"-no need. Have Dr. Yachi looked him over before we move him."</p><p>"Then, he might get a cold by then!"</p><p>"No, look. She is coming over."</p><p>"Here, have him lean on me while you go get her."</p><p>"I am fine- you go."</p><p>"No, he is my responsibility - I should be by his side."</p><p>"Dumbass, don't move him too quickly. Beside, he's my-"</p><p>"He's not yours. He's <em>mine</em>," Lord Shouyou growled which send tingles through Atsumu's heart as if his lordship's words had cast a chain around it - tightening it so that it beats to his command and his alone.</p><p>"No, he's not." Lord Tobio whispered but his words had the same force as his lordship's. While the former was a raging forest, his was a clashing wave against the sand that sprayed salt on one's face.</p><p>"What are ya-" Atsumu curled over as a fresh set of coughs racked his lungs - burning the back of his skill as the world doubled and toppled over.</p><p>"Oh for goddess's sake, set aside your rivalry for a second before Cesario get sick!" Sir Oikawa's voice, sounding far more serious than ever before, was the last thing Atsumu recognized before darkness finally over took him.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>By the time Atsumu had came to, he was already back at Karasuno House being carried up the stairs by Lord Ushijima. He would had been embarrassed if not for the uncomfortable ache on his face and the bone deep heaviness that had him looking at everything and everyone in a daze. But with a good hour of sleep and a bowl of hot soup mixed with medicine, Atsumu was half way back to being his normal self.</p><p>Lord Shouyou had been by his side ever since the lake ( if Kita was to be believed) - Lord Tobio was there as well when Atsumu had woken up but he had to return to the Manor for his grandfather wanted him to say goodbye to the guests. The young lord's frown made it clear it was the last thing he wanted to do but could not gave a reason to stay behind when asked by Mistress Hinata.</p><p>His lordship was wearing a different set of clothes and his hair was also dry - apparently, he was not allowed to see Atsumu until he had changed out of his wet clothes and dried up. Nonetheless, he was wrapped in a blanket just in case. His face had brighten with relief and satisfaction upon Atsumu's awakening which had the correlated effect of brightening Atsumu's mood. Lord Shouyou had helped Atsumu sat up, readied his porridge, fluffed his pillow, and tightened his blanket. He would not allowed Kita to do any of it so Kita sat back and readied the medicine per Dr. Yachi's order.</p><p>The doctor had seen Atsumu over and had proclaimed him much better than an hour ago but she preferred he rested for the remainder of the day. Any argument by Atsumu was shot down by Lord Shouyou and Kita; thus, he was committed to bed rest - and that was when the visitation started.</p><p>First, Mistress Hinata and Lady Natsu came to see how he was. Atsumu was more horrified that the mistress had walked up the steps and when he communicated this, Mistress Hinata had laughed and explained she was feeling much better lately; besides, the stairs were a good exercise. Lady Natsu gave him a small charm that meant good health and she hoped this would helped him get better. Atsumu had to hold himself back from hugging her in gratitude and to hide his tears.</p><p>Then, Nishinoya and Tanaka barged into the room, followed by Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinoshita - the latter two talking too quickly and too energetically about what had occurred. After Atsumu gave his version of the tale ( minus the information Lady Kaori had told him), both men gave their support for Atsumu and encouraged him to not let some boring-ass lord get to him. Even if he did sue Atsumu for adultery, Atsumu got the Hinatas' support and protection, not to mention the Kageyamas' - that much support was enough for him to evade jail for a lifetime. Atsumu would not lie and said their visit humbled him - if anything, their visit heightened his already heighten sense of self. Ennoshita, astute as ever, pulled Nishinoya and Tanaka away so that Atsumu could start his rest.</p><p>Not that he could get any as the next group had him laughing and cursing consecutively. Aihara, Chizuru, Fujiko and Saeko arrived with well-wishes from the kitchen maids ("really?" Atsumu asked suspiciously), the laundry ladies, and the housemaids.</p><p>"Ahh, those girls! Sure you almost drowned, but Goddess save them if they don't see you naked," Saeko shook her head while Aihara stated that they didn't missed much. Atsumu was proud to say he did not throw a pillow at her but he did gave her a rude gesture when no one was looking to which she gave one back. Fujiko promised to sent him chicken soup that her mom used to make for her that would perk him back up - Atsumu looked forward to it for Fujiko was on her way to being head cook under Saeko's tutorship.</p><p> Lady Kaori arrived not long after. Atsumu made to get up but she waved it away.</p><p>"I am here to apologize for this was my fault," she started but Atsumu was having none of this.</p><p>"Ya don't need to do that. It's his fault attackin' me. I mean, it's not like ya told him to hit me right?" He teasingly raised an eyebrow at her. Realizing he was not being serious, she gave off a small laugh and agreed. Then, she started inquiring about his health but Atsumu waved it away.</p><p>"Ya are gonna leave him, right?" Atsumu asked. She hesitated as she thought it over. Atsumu had been ready to smack some senses to her if she were to say "no" when she said, "yes."</p><p>"I will have to talk it over with my parents, of course but I have no intention of being bonded to a monster like that."</p><p>Atsumu nodded and leaned closer so that only she could hear his next question. "And yer lover? Will ya write to her yer answer?"</p><p>"I -I will but not now. I have to finalize everything and think some things over ... but yes, I will write to her."</p><p>Atsumu smiled to which she returned. She clasped his hands with hers.</p><p>Then, not a minute after she left, he was visited by the Manor staff - even Yaku and it was hard to determine who was most surprised by this: Atsumu or Yaku. The short footman tried to justified his appearance by stating that Lev and Bokuto had pulled him here expect Suga appeared at the door to explain it was Yaku who pulled them all away from the house to see him. Atsumu sank his teeth on this juicy detail and teased the man about it. After a minute of blushing, Yaku bit back in his usually Yaku -fashion and all was well between them. Suga had the addition of well-wishes from Lord Kageyama, Sir Oikawa, Lord Korai, and Lord Ushijima but none from Lord Tobio who apparently was scowling up a storm for not being able to come.</p><p>It was from them that Atsumu learned Lord Arse had insisted on not taking responsibility over what happen ( "bastard," both Atsumu and Lord Shouyou muttered, they smiled at each other). Therefore, Sir Oikawa had told ( told, not threatened) Lord Arse that Lord Shouyou could sue him for manhandling his servant and Lord Tobio, Sir Oikawa, Kuroo, and Lady Kaori were witnesses who would claimed that Lord Arse was the instigator and Atsumu was the victim. As such, the accusation against Atsumu being an adultor was dropped.</p><p>Atsumu could not be fully happy about this as it meant he was now in Sir Oikawa's debt; he did not like to view the lawyer in a favorable light.</p><p>By the time the last visitor left, Atsumu was feeling strangely warmed and smothered; every appearances had made his heart grown two times bigger and his face five times redder. It wasn't like he was ill or dying so the amount of these visits and well-wishes weren't really necessary.</p><p>"That's because they all care for you and they wanted to see with their own eyes you are better," Lord Shouyou explained.</p><p>Atsumu muttered, feeling suddenly embarrassed at the admittance, "I didn't think they like me."</p><p>Lord Shouyou looked shock at this and Atsumu was shocked to discovered that his lordship found it strange people could hate Atsumu.</p><p>"I understand if there are people who dislike you. I mean no one can be loved by everyone," Lord Shouyou, who was loved by everyone who met him, said ( clearly Atsumu was not the only one who underestimated his own appeal to others). "But I don't think anyone who get to know you, who really get to know you, could hate you. Get annoy by you, certainly; but outright hate you? I have a hard time believing that."</p><p>"Well, ya can't disagreed I wasn't really nice when I got here," Atsumu argued back. Behind Lord Shouyou, Kita was reading his book but Atsumu was sure he was listening.</p><p>"I can't disagree," Lord Shouyou nodded ( and that kind of hurt Atsumu's pride). "But that was months ago. You were very rude back then but you aren't like that anymore. You have change."</p><p>"Have I?" Atsumu had meant this to be rhetorical but Lord Shouyou took it as a challenge.</p><p>"You are more ... thoughtful of your actions and words. Before, I know and have heard the way you talk to the staff - it was like you see them below you. You sounded like you are ordering them at times - even me! Remember that time, I dropped a book in front of you and you said you are not picking up any 'damn book' for me?" - Atsumu blushed and he cursed his past self - "But now it's like, you are still outspoken but you are more aware of others' feeling and how your actions can affect them - as if you finally understand that you are not alone. I mean, what about what you said to Lady Kaori? You were more worry for her well-being than your own."</p><p>Atsumu did not know what to say, mainly because he felt nothing had changed. Was he really that different from six months ago? Yes, his relationship with Nishinoya and Tanaka was far better than back then, and yes, he was starting to take note of the maids and the demands of their lives but it did not feel world-changing. Atsumu always thought that to change, something in the world had to fundamentally shift to match the need for the change or resulted of the change. Yet, there was nothing - the world continued on its usual way and Atsumu was doing things as he usually did. But somewhere along the line, his priorities had changed and so was the way he treated those around him. Because the past him would not had bothered to remember the name of every Manor House staff  because of the simple fact that he did not lived with them. His past self would certainly had taken Lord Shouyou not returning his feelings as a challenge and would had acted selfishly toward him. His past self would had taken Kita's place in his life as natural than a choice his former tutor had made.</p><p>And his past self would not had noticed Lady Kaori.</p><p>He looked down at his hands - his calloused, scarred hands from the washing, lifting, cutting, gripping. He had long since let go of his former life of luxury in Astoria but it seem that there were more things he had let go of.</p><p>"My brother was the nicer one," Atsumu admitted in a whisper. Lord Shouyou, who had moved to collect the pillows that had fallen on the floor, paused. The sound of paper flipping also stilled. "I think that made it easier for me to be mean to others. "- he tightened his hands into a fist so he could feel the rough patches between his fingers-  "No, I've to be mean because it's the only way I can protect him, the only way for us to survive. If I was any nicer than people would walked over us."</p><p>Atsumu took a peek across Lord Shouyou's shoulder at Kita; his former tutor's usual emotionless face was broken with a small smile and that was all the encouragement he needed. His eyes moved to the side so that they were under the penetrating gaze of two golden suns - warm and kind.</p><p>For a moment he was transported back into the fisherman hut, on that winter day as the fire warmed his body and Lord Shouyou had held his hand as he cried his heart out.</p><p>"I'm not sayin' this to justify myself - but I think this is why I change or part of the reason why I change. Cause he's no longer here to be the nice one; he's no longer here for me to hide behind. Now I've to watch what I do and say cause there's no one to do that for me. I've depended on him too much." Atsumu took a deep breath. "My brother was on that ship."</p><p>He stopped short as a strange stone pressed onto his chest, choking the words down his throat. Atsumu took a few seconds to gulp it down, closing his eyes to control the wet sensation appearing there. He felt the bed on his left tipped and a light touch on his hand. The smell of citrus invaded his sense which only made the pressure worse. He opened his eyes to the golds of Lord Shouyou's.</p><p>"It's my fault he's dead - I didn't hold him when a wave clashed into us; that will haunt me forever. I don't think that I deserve good things cause if he's not here cause of me than I don't have the right to a good life," - his lordship's hold tighten but he did not interrupted- "We're always together so the idea of livin' without him is alien and sometimes it feels impossible. But I don't think that anymore - or more like, I've accepted that he's not here anymore." Atsumu rubbed his thumb to a patch of Lord Shouyou's skin. " And that cause of ya and everyone here - ya a bunch of stubborn arses, ya know. Ya let me be me but also don't fall for my nonsense."</p><p>Atsumu turned to his side so that he could look at Lord Shouyou in the face, the warmth of his hand was the lighthouse helping his thoughts to harbor - to say goodbye to that stormy night six months ago.</p><p>Time to let go.</p><p>"Thank you for findin' me on that beach and thank you for saving my life, <em>Shouyou</em>."</p><p>His lordship jumped at the name as his face split into a wide grin that had Atsumu smiling too. Then to his shock, Shouyou brought his hand up and kissed it. Heat spread throughout his body until his head felt so heavy that Atsumu had to lean back onto the pillows.</p><p>Shouyou laughed softly and whispered, as he place Atsumu's hand against his cheek, "thank you for telling me this. I am so happy that you are here,"- he closed his eyes- "and if you want to talk about what happen or your brother, you can also talk to me too. I won't know what to say but I can listen - I don't mind." He opened his eyes, which were a bit watery. "I thought I lost you today. Please don't do that again."</p><p>Atsumu wanted to make a joke - anything to lighten the pounding of his heart and ignore the intense softness of Shouyou's cheek against his palm but all he could think of was that he could die happy now.</p><p>So he said a simple, "Will try."</p><p>Shouyou kissed his palm again.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Shouyou could not stayed long for his mother wanted him downstair to go over the plans for his birthday party. Much like Lord Tobio, his lordship did not looked happy at this prospect but had relented under the combined stare of Daichi ( who had came with the announcement) and Kita.</p><p>"One last thing, do you have a habit of go around giving love advise to every nobility you come across?" Shouyou asked as he got up to leave.</p><p>"Dunno," Atsumu scratched the back of his head. "Maybe these things come easy to me."</p><p>His bright laughter stayed with Atsumu long after Shouyou left the room. And it reminded with him when Kuroo came to visit alone.</p><p>"Hey, is visiting hours done?" Kuroo asked. He looked oddly hesitant and nervous. Atsumu's stomach dropped as he wondered if Sir Oikawa had not really been successful in talking Lord Arse out of his vengeful state and Kuroo was here to deliver the bad news.</p><p>"Almost," Kita said. "I believe Atsumu can be up for one more unless he disagree." At his former tutor's look, Atsumu said he did not. Before he left, Kita told Atsumu that under no circumstance was to overexert himself or do any unnecessary movement until Dr. Yachi gave her okay and he should drink his medicine at the hour mark.  Feeling like a child under the hawk-like gaze that invaded his bones, Atsumu said a halted "yes."</p><p>Kuroo whistled, "not a man to say 'no' to."</p><p>Atsumu nodded gravely. "So whatcha wanna talk 'bout? Is it about Lord Arse - He's gonna charged me?"</p><p>"Lord Arse? Oh, you meant Saburou -no, no. You do not have to worry about him. After Sir Oikawa and Lord Kageyama were done with him, he and his sister walked away with their tails between their legs."</p><p>"So what ya here for?"</p><p>Kuroo gave a tight grin and scratch the back of his head. He sighed and said, "I'm here to apologize."</p><p>"Apologize? For what?"</p><p>"Back in the garden. I accused you of playing victim and I realize that I hit a nerve; I am really sorry about that," Kuroo said as he let out a small smile that conveyed the truth behind his words and intention.</p><p>Atsumu was frankly at lost. He had not expected Kuroo to apologize to him, much less go out of his way to seek him. He had always viewed the valet as a schemer who took great joy in provoking people but apparently the man before him was also a man with morals: he knew when to stop and when to considered the extant of how his words could hurt others. The cold attitude Atsumu had toward Kuroo lessen and try as he might, Atsumu found that he did not have the pettiness or childishness to not accept the apology. Geez, he really had gotten soft.</p><p>"But I really don't see why you would not believe me when I say Lord Tobio is interested in you," Kuroo said exasperated. He was leaning against the chair with his feet propped on Atsumu's bed; they had been talking for half an hour over what transpired in the party ( Kuroo was proving to be a funny but observant fellow - he know just what to say to get the core of a person's worry or their strength) which led to the topic of the pavilion.</p><p>"Don't know why ya keep thinkin' he is!"</p><p>"Listen, I know Lord Tobio ever since he was fifteen, that was when I started working as a footman with the Oikawas. He and his mother were living with them at the time. The point is that the young lord rarely show any interest in people around him - he always got his nose in those law books or court cases. I mean he will attend parties and all because that's what Lady Kageyama wants him to do but even then he barely gave a glance to the other lords who he didn't know. While every teens were falling in love left and right, he was not even swayed. But from the moment he arrived here, he was looking at you - do you have any idea how rare is it? Lord Tobio only seek people when he is interested in them."</p><p>"Fine, fine, he's lookin' at me. But that don't mean he's interested! I had people looked at me all the time - I mean when ya have this face," -Atsumu waved at his own face- "it can't be help. But I am also from Lyson so maybe its cause I'm a foreigner-"</p><p>"Don't bother with that route. He's from the capital. There is a large Lysonian community there." Kuroo paused. "I heard that he had been hanging out with the Astorian crowd lately; been seen going in and out of this building called Inarizaki, its where lots of Astorian immigrants lived."</p><p>"What about his lovers?" Atsumu folded his hands. "Ya said he don't show interest but I heard he had 'bout two lovers - the recent one got his grandpa's pants in the twist."</p><p>Kuroo pushed his feet so that his chair stood on its back two legs. "I'm not sayin' he was never interested in guys - I'm just saying that he always took great lengths to hide it. His mother had big plans for him and that involved who he marry-"</p><p>"Like Lord Shouyou-" Atsumu bit his lips but Kuroo only raised his eyebrows.</p><p>"Oh ho, so you knew about it."</p><p>"Yeah, only me. It's still a secret though."</p><p>"Same here, I only knew cause of Sir Oikawa. Anyway, yes, she always planned on Lord Tobio marrying Lord Shouyou so anybody Lord Tobio was interested in was not gonna last long - not if she could help it."</p><p>"So he had to hide who his lovers are."</p><p>"Hmm hmm. Do you know why he only have two? Because the first one got scared away by his mother."</p><p>"No way."</p><p>Kuroo gravely nodded. "You must had seen him since he was here today."</p><p>"Wait, really? Who?" Atsumu started going back to all the person he had seen and the names Bokuto had thrown at him.</p><p>"Lord Kunimi."</p><p>"The turnip head! Or not the turnip heard," Atsumu gasped. Kuroo looked bemused. "So what happen? What did she do?"</p><p>"Well, first you have to promise nothing leave this room," Kuroo said with a grin but Atsumu could feel the threat beneath it. So he gave his promise. "See, Lord Tobio went to a boarding school not far from the capital - that is where he met Lord Kunimi; Kindachi as well (by the way Kindachi's the one with the turnip head). These three had known each other since they were kids - hell, Lord Tobio had known them longer than Lord Shouyou even. From what I heard, Lord Tobio had not gotten along with those two at first, especially with Kindachi - Lord Kunimi basically ignored him. But since they were the same age and year, they were always put together so they became friends. But especially Lord Tobio and Lord Kunimi; the two of them became inseparable. Always hanging out together, studying together and what not. Lord Kunimi even visited the Manor one summer - now that was a funny year, especially since Lord Shouyou won't leave those two alone and kept on inserting himself between them any time they so much as sat next to each other - Lord Tobio looked like he wanted to strangled him by the fifth interruption."</p><p>Atsumu snorted as he could already see a younger Shouyou, puffing out his cheeks as he squashed himself between the two boys. That image was cuter than he intended.</p><p>"So Lord Kunimi was his childhood sweetheart." </p><p>"And his former fiancé."</p><p>"What?" Atsumu sat up straight as if a steel plate had replaced his back muscles. "Sho-Lord Shouyou never said that!"</p><p>"That's because he never knew. No one did- only the family. See, Lord Tobio and Lord Kunimi got engaged in secret and only Lady Miwa knew - that's cause the young lord can't hide anything from his sister. And she help hide the engagement because she knew Lady Kageyama would not approved. I mean, the Kunimi is a good family but they aren't really that high-ranking or that wealthy - not to mention the fact that they are on the opposite end of the political spectrum and Lord Kunimi is known to be a bit of a slacker at times. But, Lord Tobio did not want to get marry without his family knowing - especially his grandfather so he told his mother."</p><p>"She did not like that."</p><p>"Not one bit. But she was a crafty person soshe did not made a big deal about it when Lord Tobio told her and seemingly gave her approval of it. Then, she visited the Kunimis and hinted at them that Kunimi was eloping. The Kunimis were a traditional sort of family which meant that courtship and marriage had to follow a certain procedure so you can imagine their anger when they learned that their son was engaged without their approval."</p><p>"Even when the one he was engaged to was Lord Tobio?"</p><p>"Especially because it was Lord Tobio; the parents knew that Lady Kageyama did not approve and because she did not approve, they did not approve. They knew that the worst thing to happen was to be on her bad side. But unfortunately for them, Lord Tobio fully intended to go through with the wedding which was when Lady Kageyama brought out her main attack; she created a rumor that Lord Kunimi was having an affair a teacher."</p><p>"Oh, shit," Atsumu whispered, both scandalized and captivated by the direction the story was going.</p><p>"It was horrible, he almost got suspended for it but the worst was that his reputation was tarnished by the supposed 'affair' to the point that he and his family got shunned from most social gathering. Of course, Lord Tobio tried to help but what could he do - most of the people were in his mother's pocket and he didn't really had much control over the student body to stop them from isolating Lord Kunimi."</p><p>"So the engagement got cancel."</p><p>"Yes, I don't know wither if it was Lord Tobio or Lord Kunimi who did it but I always got the feeling that it wasn't a mutual decision. The two of them had a big row and just stopped hanging out with each other. I mean you can't really blame Lord Kunimi - Lady Kageyama almost ruined his life, not to mention his family's standing in society. And I guess Lord Tobio was embarrassed and guilty over what happened."</p><p>"What bullshit," Atsumu exclaimed, "it's not his fault what his mother did! And just cause she his mother doesn't meant she can do that to him. Does Lord Kageyama know?"</p><p>"About her controlling ways, oh, he knows. But since they lived in the capital, there isn't much he could do to control his daughter's actions.  Now about the marriage, I doubt that since Lord Kageyama like Lord Kunimi - the old man would had allowed the marriage to occur if it meant Lord Tobio would be happy. You know, I was surprise to see Lord Kunimi here today. After what happen, Lord Tobio really isolated himself from him - and anyone in the school, really. It was only at Shiratorizawa did he started making friends again - like Lord Korai and Lord Ushijima."</p><p>"Lord Kunimi went to the same university too."</p><p>"Yup, it was really awkward between them from what I saw. Neither of them would acknowledged each other even when Sir Oikawa created this whole scheme of getting them to be friends again - I mean he even got Kyoutani to take part and that guy don't do team work. It didn't work back then. But today, I guess it's all water under the bridge for those two- I saw them talking under the beech tree by the lake after the young lord came back from Karasuno, after you almost drown ( Kuroo added at Atsumu's confused expression). Neither seem upset. Though, you can't really tell with those two."</p><p>Slience followed at the end of the story for a while until Atsumu asked,"what about the recent one - know what happen to him?"</p><p>Kuroo shrugged as he crossed his arm behind his back. "Who knows but I am sure Lady Kageyama had a hand in stopping that one as well. Why do you think Lord Tobio is here - she won't have him anywhere near the capital."</p><p> Atsumu nodded as he remember the day he first saw Lord Tobio. "He came back thinking his grandpa was ill. But that was a lie to get him away." <em>But to do what</em>?</p><p>"Look the point I'm trying to make is that that incident with Lord Kunimi taught Lord Tobio he had to be careful with who he showed interest in cause if his mother caught even a whiff of it, you bet she would had her claws out ready to pluck the guy out."</p><p>"Annnddd this had to do with me because ..." Atsumu titled his head to the right.</p><p>"Because that's why all Lord Tobio had been doing since he got here was staring at you! He did not want people to find out and get the word back to his mother - I am sure of it."</p><p>"Stiillll, kinda feel like a stretch." Atsumu titled his head to his left with an eye roll.</p><p>Kuroo gave out an exaggerated groan; he plopped back his chair on its four legs and placed his feet on the floor so that he was leaning on his elbow as he gave Atsumu a disappointed look. "Your denial is no longer funny - there is a limit on how long you can act dumb. You know you're good looking but you don't think people would view you in a romantic light, why?"</p><p>Atsumu simply gave out a rueful smile, <em>because there is nothing lovable about me, the past years were proof of that</em>. Except that was not true as the past hours flashed through Atsumu's mind: how the Karasuno staff and the Manor staff had visited him; how Mistress Hinata and Lady Natsu cared; how Shouyou had not turned him away as he let his insecurity out; how Lord Tobio, regardless of what Kuroo said, had looked out for him multiple times during the party. Atsumu rubbed the quilt that Ms. Michimiya had given him so he won't catch a cold. People may not viewed him as a possible romantic partner but he was still loved here.</p><p>A  soft knock sounded from the door and in walked Lord Tobio, asking about Atsumu's health.</p><p>Atsumu ignored the pointed look Kuroo gave him as he answered the questions. But Lord Tobio did not leave immediately; he stood awkwardly by the door, looking around the room before at Atsumu. Kuroo gave out a light chuckle and stood up.</p><p>"Well, I better get going before Sir Oikawa started missing me. Hey, get well soon," - Kuroo patted Atsumu's head as if he was an old man visiting his grandchild- "you make thing interesting around here and I would hate to see you not at the party." The familiar cat-like grin appeared on Kuroo's face at the last word.</p><p>Atsumu stuck his tongue out at him in reply but returned the grin. Kuroo then left the room, shutting the door softly behind him - leaving Atsumu and Lord Tobio, who had taken the empty beside seat, alone.  </p><p>The young lord was wearing a simple jacket; he was also breathing harder than usual which made Atsumu think he ran all the way here from the Manor. Not only that but there was a nervous sort of energy around him as he fingers played with each other. He had his head down so Atsumu could not made out what face he was making (not that that would help as the young lord had so far had shown about five to six emotions and most of it had to do with pouting, anger, and apathy).</p><p><em>Lord Tobio only seek people when he is interested in them. </em>Atsumu scowled and shook the thought away.</p><p>"Sooooo," he started but when Lord Tobio did not take the bait, Atsumu gave out a frustrated puff. "How did the rest of the party go? Guess everyone's gonna talk 'bout me now, huh?"</p><p>"Yes," the young lord immediately answered. "Hoshiumi already wrote what happen to his mother and friend."</p><p>"Ya don't hafta tell me that." Atsumu muttered as he internally groaned. The idea of people outside of Orion knowing about him did not sit well, even if it was under a false name. But how was he going to stop its spread without having to explain himself? He could only hoped people would pay more attention to Lord Saburou's despicable action and viewed Atsumu as the unfortunate servant who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  </p><p>"You are feeling fine." The young lord's hands tighten their hold on his knees. "When ya fall ... I was so sure that I was too late."</p><p>"Hey, come on." Atsumu lightly poked his hand. "I am good so ya don't need to over think it." But the frown did not lift from Lord Tobio's face. Wanting to change the tense atmosphere more than anything, Atsumu said, "well since ya know I'm fine now, are ya gonna talk with Lord Shouyou?"</p><p>This had the young lord looking up. "Why would I do that?"</p><p>"Cause ya gonna continue ya talk in the pavilion ... about yer engagement?" The last part came out as a question as Lord Tobio's frown became more pronounced and Atsumu felt that once again he and the young lord were on two completely different pages.</p><p>"I already said I am going through with the engagement so-"</p><p>"What? Why? You can't honesty want to marry him?" At this rate, Atsumu might as well just sat up with the amount of shocking revelation he was receiving.</p><p>Lord Tobio looked bewildered. "Of course I am," he said slowly as if he was talking to a toddler, "I am keeping my end of the deal. Why are you so surprise? You know this is going to happen."</p><p>"But Lord Shouyou did not want to marry you."</p><p>"I like to see him try talking my mother out of it," the young lord scoffed as the bitterness oozed out of him like oil on a pan.</p><p>"Can't he? He's the type who also get his way."</p><p>"Not when my mother is involved. She always get her way - no matter what dirty techniques she use." Lord Tobio gave a humorless smile that resembled a shallow grave. "She got me here, didn't she?"</p><p>"What is it with you people?" Atsumu exclaimed, his voice came out louder than he intended as the young lord looked at him with wide eyes. "Why are ya fine with letting others tell ya what to do ? Why don't you fight back? Why do ya keep running away?"</p><p>"Run away?" Now the young lord was starting to look offended. "I did not run away. There is nothing to run from when anything I do, anything I say get back to her." Lord Tobio bit his lips. "Why are you so angry about this? It never bothered you before."</p><p>"Cause it's ridiculous how yall are fine with livin' a miserable life than fight for a good one."</p><p>"It's my life- I decide what happen to it."</p><p>"So ya okay with ya mother controllin'' it?"</p><p>"Better than fightin' with her every time, every day."</p><p>"Ah, so ya rather have it easy than fight for what ya want."</p><p>A dangerous gleam fell over the blues of the young lord's eyes. He leaned forward and said in a low, barely -controlled level, "I already <em>have</em> what I want, anything else that happen to me does not matter."</p><p>Not really understanding but not wanting to lose the argument, Atsumu said, "and ya happy 'bout that?"</p><p>"Yes." Lord Tobio's hands shook.</p><p>"Don't believe ya."</p><p>"Why say that?"</p><p>"Cause ya been a moody little bastard for the past week. Everyone noticed it. If ya happy than ya be sproutin' sunshine and some shit won't ya?"</p><p>"No, I won't. How would you know? Maybe I am happy about this engagement now that I'm here and got to see Hinata again."</p><p>"I've seen three years old lie better than ya."</p><p>Something snapped in Tobio as he let out a strong growl - this was a face he only showed Hinata and Tsukishima but the bed-ridden valet had been hitting every nerve Tobio had been suppressing from the moment he saw him in the Manor library. The emotions, the impatience, the uncertainty he had been keeping a tight lid over spilt out like a lava into the ocean but instead of being cooled, Tobio felt more heated.</p><p>"So why didja come up here anyway?" Atsumu asked.</p><p>"Because I like you, you idiot!" Lord Tobio froze as the last syllable left his mouth. His eyes were as wide as an owl while his mouth hang loosely. His hands slowly covered his mouth.</p><p>The fierce competiveness between the two men dispersed as the full impact of what Lord Tobio said came upon them.</p><p>"So... as a friend?" Atsumu asked, his voice calmer than what he was really feeling inside.   </p><p>The frozen look on Lord Tobio's face melted as a determined gleam appeared. Atsumu felt his stomach dropped uncomfortably when the young lord placed his hands down, his back straight and shoulder set as if he was entering a battlefield.</p><p>"No- I mean, like more than a friend. That day ... I lied when I said you- anyway, the point is that I like you." Lord Tobio leaned in so fast that Atsumu had no time to react until their faces were inches apart. The young lord's eyes burned. "I really, really like you and I wanted you to know because I needed you to know. I cannot stand you not knowing just like I cannot on longer stand this facade you are doing!"</p><p>"So not like a friend," Atsumu repeated more for his benefit than Lord Tobio's because his mind was as empty as the Gran Desert and as quiet as the deep ocean.</p><p>Lord Tobio's face remained as determined but it had been steadily becoming pinker every passing minute until he resembled a tomato. Atsumu was pretty sure his own face was the same. The two of them stayed in that position for a few more minutes, neither man knowing what to do next until -</p><p>"You don't have to reply- at least, not now. In fact don't say anything," Lord Tobio quickly said as he jumped up and started backing out of the room. "You can think about it and - and tell me later. Yes, I can wait," - the young lord's back hit the door and he immediately grabbed the doorknob and pulled it- "So get well soon. And, and I am not going anywhere- not anymore."</p><p>With one last look at Atsumu, Lord Tobio turned away, closing the door behind him. His footsteps sounded loudly through the walls  which meant he was running down the hall and the stairs.</p><p>"What just happen?" Atsumu breathed out in hope that one of the furniture would started talking so he had a legitimate reason to think he was dreaming or really drunk (despite having not touch a single drop).</p><p>
  <em>He likes me? I am the man!* </em>
</p><p>Well, Atsumu could not really blame Lord Tobio for falling for him. After all, as Mistress Hinata had astutely observed, Atsumu was a "very handsome young man." And although the young lord clearly had good taste,  it was not stopping Atsumu from entering into a full mental breakdown.</p><p>Did this meant that all those times, Lord Tobio had been looking at him - it was not because there was something on Atsumu's face or that the young lord was an awkward person- but because the young lord actually, geniunely LIKED him?</p><p>Atsumu groaned and slammed his hands over his eyes in despair.</p><p>Kuroo was right, so was Sir Oikawa ( that was an even more depressing thought so Atsumu turned away from it). The talk in the garden after the fencing match, the moment in the library, the pavilion, the lake - they were meant for Atsumu, not Shouyou, Atsumu! And Atsumu had unknowingly encouraged the young lord's feelings. How? How could he do that without even knowing?</p><p>His hands no longer enough, Atsumu grabbed a pillow and slammed it over his face to blocked out the candle light and hopefully blocked out the memory of the last few minutes. There was a dull sound of wood scraping on wood and Saeko's voice pierced through the feathered, clothed barrier as if she was right by him.</p><p>"Okay, here is your soup. Make specially by the lovely Fujiko. You better eat it quick cause it's not as good when its cool."</p><p>Atsumu screamed into the pillow.</p><p>"Cesario, this is the exact opposite of not overexerting yourself," Kita's voice sounded through the pillow like the omniscient god he was.</p><p>"That better not be a reaction to the soup!" Saeko exclaimed.</p><p>"Who is the one shouting?" Daichi roared.</p><p>Atsumu screamed even more for only one thought reminded in his head: how was he going to tell his lordship that the man he was once in love with was actually in love with Atsumu without Shouyou hating him for life?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*"I am the man" (Act 2, Scene 2) - this is the exact quote from the play when Viola realized that Olivia is in love with her.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 10</strong>
</p><p>-<em>one day before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>It would not be until noon when Atsumu was allowed to leave the confine of his room by Dr. Yachi.</p><p>In the morning, Shouyou had visited him again with stories at ready to help Atsumu passed the time for the doctor's arrival. Unfortunately Atsumu could not enjoyed the full beauty and experience of having Shouyou's sole attention on him (and with no Kita in the room) when his mind was unhelpfully replaying what had transpired a full seventeen hours ago on the very chair Shouyou was sitting on. Twice Atsumu had tried to breach the subject with his lord and both time seeing Shouyou's bright smile and engaging eyes had him clenching his heart and weeping internally for how could he disturb this moment with that storm of a news.</p><p>What would Shouyou say if he knew of Lord Tobio's confession? Would he be upset at the thought that once again another person had caught the young lord's attention while he had not? Or would the confession be of little consequence to him for his heart no longer yearn for the young lord? Would he teased Cesario? Treated him coldly? Hated Cesario for being handsome enough to tempt his friend ( who was also his fiancé but that did not matter much in the grand scheme of things)? Or worse, would he actually pushed Cesario to think of returning the confession? It took a mountain of pain and maturity for Atsumu to help him with the "Making Lord Tobio Fall in Love with Him" schemes, he rather jumped back into the lake then have Shouyou created similar schemes for him and Lord Tobio.</p><p>With all these questions, regrets, and worries circling his head, in addition to another matter, it was any wonder Atsumu was able to get a full eight hour sleep. But then that was the beauty of modern medicine and an understanding employer who had given Atsumu the entire day off for him to recuperate; as such, Atsumu awaken at ten, far more refreshed then he thought the circumstances would allowed.</p><p>But tried as he might, Atsumu must talked about it for he was a hair away from bursting out the truth.</p><p>"Say, Shouyou," - his lord beamed at sound of his name and Atsumu had to remind himself to breathe- "have ya seen Lord Tobio today?"</p><p>Clearly at lost at the change of subject, Shouyou said he had not. His smile was a bit dimmer than before. Apparently, Lord Korai had wanted to visited the ruins up on the hills and had persuaded the young lord to go with him. Shouyou had also been invited but he had respectfully declined on account of having to welcome his family to Karasuno and finalize preparation for his birthday celebration ( he confessed to Atsumu that he had also wanted to spend more time with him which had Atsumu's heart dancing the Lysonian leap for a full ten minutes).</p><p>Atsumu was partly relieved as that meant he had one more day to craft his rejection because he was going to <em>reject</em> the young lord. No point in stringing the man along when Atsumu had not even viewed him with a tint of romance. Usually, Atsumu had no problem rejecting people because one, he did not know the person well, and two, since most of the confession made to him were actually meant for Osamu, Atsumu had no problem saying "no way in hell" and giving the person a piece of his mind on why they were not good enough for Osamu. His twin had not appreciated this.</p><p>"I can reject them myself," he had snapped.</p><p>" I know ya can. But now, ya know they aren't that serious 'bout ya if they were gonna let me scare them off. Plus, I'm good at picking out douchebag so basically I'm doin' yer dirty work while ya just stood there looking pretty."</p><p>"Ya just gettin' ya revenge on them for not confessin' to ya."</p><p>"Not true!"</p><p>Indeed, while Atsumu had hated being placed in such a degrading situation, he truly believed that none of the people who confessed were good enough for his brother. The one time Atsumu had asked him on what he preferred in a lover, Osamu, after a full thirty minute of contemplation, had stated he wanted a lover who was "good to look at" and who was a "good eater." Osamu had been purposefully vague in his preference because such distinction were of little interest to him. Atsumu, on the other hand, was more worried over that fact that Osamu only had <em>two</em> qualities he looked for in a lover.</p><p>"Well, how many should I have?" Osamu had snapped.</p><p>"At least <em>twenty</em>! And that's not countin' physical preference!"</p><p>Thus, Atsumu created a list for Osamu for at the very least, Atsumu could ensured his brother married the very best humanity had to offer. Osamu's future lover should be one who could provide for him - Osamu was a big eater so the lover should had the wealth and the knowledge of food to support his brother's hunger (Osamu had been most surprised and in full agreeance with this). The lover should also be born during the Spring months for Osamu was born in the fall and it was said that fall and spring babies were far more compatible ("Had ya been listenin' to the maids again?" Osamu asked in exasperation). The person should also come for a good family and had good breeding so that they were not social-climbing, gold-digging, bootlickers; Osamu was, after all, the son of their father despite how much the nobilities despised it (by this point, Osamu had stopped listening and was mediating on whether to eat rice or noodles for lunch).</p><p>This was about twelve years ago and the memory had Atsumu chuckling at his younger self's somewhat romantic, protective behavior. But so occupied he was over his brother, he had failed to consider what he himself had wanted in a lover. Whenever asked, Atsumu always exclaimed that his lover would be "perfect" but could not give a concrete list as to what he meant by "perfect" and what would he do if such "perfection" did not exist. But he did know one thing, his lover would had to consider Atsumu as their number one person for he would do the same for them.</p><p>Atsumu paused in his recollection as he looked at Shouyou, who was currently opening the window to let some air in. Shouyou was not the type of person Atsumu ever thought of falling in love with or more accurately, Shouyou was not type of person he imagined himself with. Shouyou was too kind, sociable, and bright - all Atsumu was not. Such a person did not always existed in Atsumu's social circle so when he first met Shouyou, he became suspicious of his lord's actions. Why was he being so kind? Did he knew who Atsumu was? What did he expect from Atsumu in return? What were his motives? Such thoughts had Atsumu high on guard and looked at the lord's with second thoughts and determined dislike.</p><p>Kita had not thought so for he had found Shouyou to be a lovable young man who was not unlike a puppy at times, although the lord's reckless abandonment of his own body in pursuit of his want was a disappointment. But tried as Atsumu might, he found himself pulled in by the tide that was Shouyou's smile and lovable personality - his laugher that made Atsumu feel like he was doing something right and his optimistic look to the world had Atsumu looking at things in a different light.</p><p>Even if Shouyou was not type of person he thought he would end up falling in love with, Atsumu was sure he would had gotten along with him regardless. Because the lord was fearless, driven, passionate, and determined - all the things Atsumu was. They had enough similarities and differences to be the best of friends for they were quick to reassure and support each other while had no problem giving their honest opinion on the other's mistakes, flaws, and tendencies. While one was in moments of emotional instability, the other was grounded; while the other was worried, the other was ready with reassurance.  </p><p>Atsumu's left hand twitched and the places where Shouyou's lip had touched yesterday burned. Atsumu took a breath as he clenched his hand into a fist. He wished Shouyou did not kiss him - it made him think things that he had no right to think of. <em>It was a friendly kiss</em>, he told himself last night - after he spend an hour screaming internally over the young lord's confession which had caused an existential crisis over what it mean to fall in love which led him to thinking of Shouyou and how the lord had kiss him twice- <em>TWICE</em>- on his hand.</p><p>
  <em>It was a kiss between two friends because one of them almost drowned.</em>
</p><p>But tried as he might, Atsumu could not denied that the kisses had resurrected ideas he had long thought destroyed but turned out had simply buried at the very back of his mind - padlocked and walled; only for Shouyou's first kiss to pull the bricks down and the second to turn the lock. Therefore,leaving Atsumu to contemplate on the hopeful idea, the most delicious idea, that perhaps, <em>maybe</em>, surely Shouyou- with his previous action in the music room, that moment during that mock fencing scheme, his eyes yesterday as he held Atsumu's hand to his cheek as if Atsumu was the most precious thing he ever had the pleasure to behold - all this surely meant that Shouyou's feelings - however small- aligned with Atsumu's, did it not? Atsumu tormented himself last night as he twisted and turned in his blanket as he dug up his memories of the past two weeks and over analyzed every interaction, every words exchanged, and every glances. </p><p>There was also the fact that if Kuroo was correct of his observation of Lord Tobio's feeling in regards to Atsumu, then surely his observation of Shouyou's feeling was also true. But blasted it all, Kuroo had not said much on Shouyou. Atsumu had to reign in the desire to leap out of his bed and crossed the field toward Manor House to ask the valet about Shouyou's behavior and manner of the past days (Atsumu reluctantly admitted that he himself may not be the best judge in that regard). With all this in mind, it was of no surprise that Lord Tobio's confession faded into the background; Atsumu could only viewed the confession as to how it might affect his own relationship with Shouyou rather than his own relationship with Lord Tobio.</p><p><em>No, this is not good</em>. Atsumu reminded himself last night and he reminded himself again as Shouyou returned to his chair.  The lord was dressed in a simple white shirt that showcased his arm and shoulders very well - not to mention his waistline which was tied with a simple slash; Atsumu could imagined placing his arms around it and leaning down to kiss his lord's neck.  To make this picture even more torturous (mouthwatering) was that his lord had decline to button the first four clasps thus his neck and collarbone were for Atsumu to admire ( as covertly as he could and please). <em>Goddess, control yourself</em>!</p><p>Atsumu was suddenly (and welcomingly) derailed from his thoughts when Shouyou took hold of his clenched hand. The tasteful tingle of heat from his fingers had Atsumu's hand blossoming open like a lotus; then, with his forefinger, Shouyou traced Atsumu's palm. He following the jarring collection of lines that formed a thicker one that ran from the junction between the thumb and forefinger to the edge of the palm where the faint blue of the artery can be seen. After pressing on it for a second longer, Shouyou retraced his path and moved to the center of the palm were he drew a simple swirl before following the darker line toward the little finger. Atsumu watched all this in mesmerized silence and wonder as Shouyou took in the callous between the fingers and the darken remains of scars.  Shouyou held Atsumu's hand like it was a curious find from an archeological dig; each touch was an exploration to the inner workings of Atsumu's heart. Each pressure, each stroke was an irregular beat that had Atsumu taking sharp breath; he was both numb and animated; nervous and excited; dreaming and awake.</p><p>Shiver down the spine was nothing to the feeling of soft kisses that was Shouyou's finger for indeed Atsumu felt like he was being kissed a hundred times over. He lifted his hand and Shouyou quickly let go, mistaking the movement as rejection. Not wanting to let the misunderstanding remain for a moment longer, Atsumu quickly gasped his hand and laid it back on the bed with his.  </p><p>Now it was his turn to explore the terrain that was Shouyou's right hand. How different their hands were side by side, one over the other - one rough, the other soft; one was slender, the other thicker; faded scares littered one's palm, the other only had one. There were fewer callous, which was usual for a lord who spend hours, years, fencing and writing and some farm work. Atsumu gave each rough patch of skin a swift rub and a slight pressure which had the heart-clenching effect of Shouyou twitching his fingers but not moving away. His nails needed filing; there was a smudge at the tip of his forefinger which meant he had read some letters before coming up the stairs; his life line was longer while his heart line was fractured in two, and there were two more lines that Atsumu had forgotten the name of but it mattered not.</p><p>Shouyou turned his hand and intertwined their fingers with a tiny squeeze and Atsumu returned it with a smile; as always, such expression was easily and swiftly returned - the lord's face was a light pink that was beautifully illuminated by the summer morning.  And the two spend a few more minutes in comfortable silence, at ease in the shared heat radiating from their joined hand.</p><p>A sudden desire overcame Atsumu to bring Shouyou's hand to his lips and returned the favor from yesterday tenfold. And before Atsumu could formulate a reasonable explanation for doing so, his hand was already lifting up. In horror and embarrassment of his body's betrayal, he said the first thing that came to mind,  "here's a question to pick yer brain, ya had rejected a confession before, right?"</p><p>Shouyou was understandably confused at the interruption of what he considered to be the most pleasing and peaceful moment in his life. He had been gathering courage to ask Cesario a question that had been on his mind for a week and was prepared to be more honest than he had ever been. Thus, the question was most unwelcome; not to mention this was the second time Cesario had opened with a random topic. A feeling of trepidation crept up on the lord as he answered, "yes - lots of times."</p><p>The urge to ask "how many times exactly" was at the tip of Atsumu's tongue but he swallowed it and continued on, "Woah, as expected of ya. So how ya do that without the person hatin' ya?"</p><p>"You said that as if I am still friends with all the people who confessed to me."</p><p>"Ya aren't?" That was most surprising.</p><p>"Oh, I am. Just that there are few I am not." Now, that was not surprising.</p><p>"Like that lord ya throw water on," Atsumu said as the memory of the story came to him.</p><p>"Yes," Shouyou sighed as his eyes glazed in a nostalgic haze, "he was so rude to Ms. Shimizu that I couldn't stand another minute next to him."</p><p>"Valid reason," Atsumu nodded seriously. "Anyway, how ya do it? How do ya reject them without hurtin' their feelings?"</p><p>"Well, I suppose it helps to remember that I am still hurting their feelings when I rejected. There is no way to go about it. So I thank them for the confession and just tell that I am not interested because it is better to do this as direct as possible for if you give them an inch, some of them will run for the mile."</p><p>"So just say "no, thank ya," and hope for the best?"</p><p>"Basically."</p><p>Atsumu groaned into his pillow. Unlike his previous rejections, Atsumu liked Lord Tobio enough to actually consider his feelings. He wanted to give a rejection that was both kind and firm, empathic and straightforward enough that there was no room for misunderstanding and that the young lord would not be too hurt to complain about it to Shouyou. But <em>that</em> apparently would not be happening.</p><p>Being confessed to was so stressful! Why did Lord Tobio even like him? They had not spend more than ten minutes in each other presence - in fact, the day in the library with the devil cat was the longest Atsumu had been with him. It was far too short of time to get to know someone, much less fall in love. What did Lord Tobio knew about him? What did Atsumu knew of Lord Tobio?</p><p>Maybe Lord Tobio was more of a romantic than he presented himself. Atsumu paused as he thought of yesterday confession. Nope. He doubt Lord Tobio had a romantic bone in his body for if he were, he would had put more effort in his clothing, maybe some flowers, and the situation? Confessing while the other was on the sick bed? Seriously? There were better ways to go about it! You would think for someone who was once engaged, Lord Tobio would had some romantic tricks to pull up. Unless Lord Kunimi had been the one doing most of the romantic works. Maybe Atsumu should gave the young lord some pointers in addition to his rejection so that he would succeed in his next confession. Suddenly, his view of the ceiling was obscured by Shouyou's face which held a playful grin that had Atsumu gripping the lord's hand in anticipation and suspicion.</p><p>"Cesario, did someone confess to you?"</p><p>"No," Atsumu exclaimed but it came out too quickly and too forcefully. The soft atmosphere from before had all since disappeared and he cursed himself for being the catalyst.</p><p>"Ohhhh, who? Who was it? Was it someone from Karasuno?" Shouyou gasped in scandalous glee and Atsumu looked at this with a heavy heart because of course he would find humor in this. Why did he kept on expecting  anything else? How many times did he had to learn this?</p><p>He let go of Shouyou's hand just as Dr Yachi arrived. Her presence was his saving grace and Atsumu gave the doctor far more attention that he usually would while Shouyou walked out of the room to call Kita in.</p><p>"M'lord, are you alright?" Kita asked as he stopped short beside Lord Shouyou, who was standing out in the hall by the partially closed door of Atsumu's room, with a small frown in place</p><p>Lord Shouyou hummed and said that he was quite alright, he just got something in his mind, that's all.</p><p>Kita listened to all this with a disbelieving mind for his lordship reminded him of the withering flowers in his garden, dying because of overexposure to the sun.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>The minute Atsumu entered the staff dining hall for lunch, he wanted to leave immediately for he found the most unwelcome sight of Sakusa sitting on Daichi's right, drinking his tea.</p><p>"What the hell are ya doin' here?" Atsumu gasped out loud the same time Sakusa said, "stand six feet away from me, you filthy bag of germs."</p><p>"Language, both of you," Daichi reprimanded but the older staff heard the good humor in his voice and they all knew he was glad Cesario was well and Sakusa was the same as ever.</p><p>It turned out that Sakusa's father was not really dying - he was suffering from a fit of melodramatic from being shut indoor for two weeks ( Atsumu could emphasized; Omi-Omi shot him a nasty look for that). The family had called Sakusa over because he was the only one who could get the man to calm down and listen to doctor's orders.</p><p>"They could had just said that," Daichi sighed tiredly as he rubbed his temples, "we would had let you go regardless."</p><p>"But thank the Goddess, your father is well. You must be happy," Narita said.</p><p>"Like hell," Sakusa growled darkly. "I missed a week worth of payment and wasted an unnecessary amount of time sitting by his side just to stop him from jumping out of the window." At the look of horror and worry from the staff, he added, "his room's on the ground floor next to a bush."</p><p>And that was the end of any discussion concerning Sakusa's father.</p><p>As Atsumu had nothing better to do and was not allowed to do a lick of work, he sat on one end of the staff table as the kitchen maids cleaned it after lunch. He talked with Fujiko while the red-head gathered the plates and she flushed with happiness when he told her that her soup "was the best he had." Ennoshita then took his attention to tell him that if he was up for it, Atsumu would be part of the serving staff for tomorrow party. Not wanting to miss a chance at being at the party so that he could witness Shouyou's birthday celebration, he easily agreed and Ennoshita gave him a quick overview of tomorrow events.</p><p>"With the Summer Festival, guest are going to arrive as early as three o'clock but with the traffic, which is horrible at this time of year, I won't be surprise if many arrived very late and in spurges. But this is his lordship's twenty-third birthday; it is a big thing in Celeste and Mistress Hinata refused to have this party delayed. "</p><p>"Not to mention, it is consider lucky to be born on the summer solstice and mistress probably wanted his lordship to have all the luck he can have" Kinoshita added. He had a green apron on and was putting on green sleeves to his elbows - Narita and Nishinoya were similarly dressed which meant they were going to be cleaning the silverware. Atsumu was glad to have to sit this out as there was so much enjoyment one could had from wiping spoons and forks before it became repetitive and boring.</p><p>Then, Sakusa entered the room, having finished his talk with Daichi. He turned to Atsumu and asked, "What were you doing in Marton yesterday?"</p><p>"Hmm, whatcha talkin' 'bout?" Atsumu returned as he leaned over the table on his elbows.</p><p>"Marton, I saw you on the road in front of a barber shop."</p><p>Atsumu shared a perplexed glance with Ennoshita and said, "Wasn't in Marton, was here all day."</p><p>"Really?" Sakusa looked like he did not believed him but Ennoshita set him straight by stating that "Cesario was here all morning yesterday, I was with him for most of it. And he was at the garden party where he was within everyone's sight. He never went anywhere the entire time you were gone."</p><p>"Then, who did I saw?" Sakusa frowned as he placed his hands into his pants pocket and leaned against the wall, far from anyone else.</p><p>"Perhaps you were mistaken," Ennoshita suggested but the valet shook his head.</p><p>"No, I was sure it was him - can't mistake that stupid bed-head of his."</p><p>"Awwwwww, Omi-Omi. Did ya miss me that much?" Atsumu cooed mockingly. This resulted in a deep scowl from the valet but before he could do more than glare, Shouyou bounced into the room with a face split in joy at Sakusa's return.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Despite his nonchalant attitude, Atsumu was mentally shaken by what Sakusa had said. Thus, when the opportunity presented itself with Sakusa and Ennoshita distracted by Shouyou and the rest of the footmen in the storage room lifting the silverware, Atsumu sneaked out of the dining hall and walked into the garden where Kita was tending the drying flowers.</p><p>Kita was not as alarmed but was as engrossed after Atsumu finished retelling not only Sakusa's story but also of what Lord Korai had said to him - the latter of which had slipped his mind after his fatal fall into the lake.</p><p>"<em>With Kuroo and Sir. Oikawa I thought it is a memory issue or a coincidence but with Lord Korai and Sakusa, I'm starting to think there's someone out there who looks like me</em>!" Atsumu finished in a hash whisper. </p><p>Kita shot him a sharp look. "<em>You mean Osamu</em>?"</p><p>Atsumu closed his eyes at the painful lunch at the pit of his stomach. He had indeed thought of Osamu and although the thought was hopeful at best, he decided to not fall down that rabbit hole. It was best he thought of other possibilities - other explanations rather than to expect a dead man's appearance. Only after every explanations had been sort after and discredited would he considered Osamu being alive.</p><p>"<em>No, not Osamu - just someone who kind of looked like me, like from the side or the back, but not really like me, you understand</em>?"</p><p>Kita nodded but said nothing as his hands toyed with the hose. Atsumu let him collected his thoughts as he tried to calm his raging mind.</p><p>"<em>I agreed</em>," Kita finally said. "<em>Sakusa is not one to spread false information just because he feel like it. So it is possible that he had seen your look-alike. Which begs the question, who</em>?"</p><p>"<em>You think we should check it out</em>?" Atsumu was quite happy to hear this for it was what he had been hoping for.</p><p>"<em>I do not like the idea of your look-alike running around especially close by. Not to mention what would happen if this person caught the ears of your uncle</em>."</p><p>"<em>You think that will happen</em>?"</p><p>"<em>You disagreed</em>?"</p><p>"<em>Not really but I got another idea. What if the man's some kind of bait to get me out of hiding?"</em> Atsumu thought Kita look a bit impressed and this had him standing straighter as he laid out one more theory. "<em>What if uncle had Nohebi looking me</em>?"</p><p>Kita did not jumped or gasped as Atsumu hoped but he did bowed his head in deep contemplation. "<em>Another possibility. And it is just the sort of technique Nohebi would use to draw out their target, that is presuming your uncle did not want to leave stone unturned and  be extra sure that you are dead</em>."</p><p>"<em>But why six months later</em>?" Atsumu asked</p><p>"<em>Perhaps he didn't know which country we are in - after all the ship we were on was bound for three other countries in addition to Celesta</em>. "</p><p>"<em>So you don't think it's a far-fetch theory</em>?"</p><p>"<em>It's better to think of all possibilities even the most far-fetched ones rather than regard not thinking at all.</em>"</p><p>"<em>So are we going to Marton to find this person out</em>?" Atsumu was already drafting what to say to Shouyou and Daichi. He had no doubt his lord would allowed him to go. And if Shouyou allowed it, Daichi could not disagreed. He and Kita could leave today and returned back tonight if they found the person immediately. The alternative was going tomorrow which Atsumu did not wished to do for it was Shouyou's birthday. Not to mention the traffic Ennoshita had mentioned would made traveling more difficult and longer than usual.</p><p>"<em>You will not, I will</em>."</p><p>Atsumu's thought came to a screeching halt and he let out a loud gasp. With great control, he asked why without sounding like a whiny child who got his toy taken away.</p><p>"<em>Because if this is indeed a ploy by Nohebi it won't do for you, their target, to walk right into town and give yourself up now would it</em>?"</p><p>"<em>But what about you? Won't they recognize you too</em>?"</p><p>"<em>This won't be the first time I entered an unwanted territory to gather information. Frankly, you have no such experience and would be more of a bother than any help</em>." Atsumu flinched; although he wanted to bring up his excellent sword skills, he could not deny anything that was said to him. He knew Kita could take care of himself for his former tutor was a formidable swordsman, and not to mention his years of service as a guard of the royal palace. But Atsumu's skin tingled like someone was stabbing his back and arms with thorns consecutively at the thought of Kita going alone - Aran was not here to look after his back. When he expressed this worry, Kita waved it away easily by stating that as long as he was prepared, vigilant, and observant, he would be fine - did Atsumu doubt Kita won't be able to do any of that? He could not.</p><p>"<em>So you want me to just sit here and wait</em>?"</p><p>"<em>You won't just be waiting - won't you be serving tomorrow as well</em>?"</p><p>"<em>But</em> -" Atsumu clenched his jaw as Kita's un-concerning gaze stopped his complain for he realized that no matter what he said, Kita had made his decision. So Atsumu changed topic and asked when Kita would leave. Seemingly satisfied with his charge's reluctant acceptance, Kita stated that he would go tomorrow at early as possible. He wanted to have time to prepare for the reconnaissance and have a talk with Sakusa to have all the necessary information before looking for the needle in the haystack. The incoming crowd of the Summer Festival would be a good cover for him to enter Marton and explored it without being noticed immediately. It also help that masks and costume were mandatory wear for the festival so disguise was at ready. And no, even with a mask Atsumu was still not allow to come.</p><p>"<em>I much prefer to have you be in Karasuno as much as possible. The least likely for you to get into trouble.</em>"</p><p>"<em>Haaah, I don't go looking for trouble! It's the other way around</em>," Atsumu pouted -okay, now he was whining but just a little bit. "<em>Do you think this will ever be over? It just every time I think everything's fine and peaceful - something come up to remind me that I still have a country filled with enemies who wanted me dead and that no matter where I am, I have to be on my guard</em>."</p><p>"<em>You are worry that we will have to leave Karasuno</em>," Kita whispered. Atsumu slowly nodded. "<em>For now Karasuno is safe but we cannot pretend that it will always be</em>."</p><p>"<em>But we have a life here now. The idea of leaving all this behind</em>" - leaving Shouyou behind- "<em>I hate it. I don't want to do that</em>." Goddess, Atsumu really was sounding like a child at this admittance and here he thought he had grown up.</p><p>"<em>Regardless of how you feel, how I feel, if the situation become worst we have to act accordingly even if it mean quitting this place and the people here. Our first priority is your safety</em> -"</p><p>"<em>But what's the point</em>?" Atsumu let out. He had not meant to interrupt Kita but this had been on his mind since the day before. "<em>Who cared about my safety anyway? So what if I die- it's not like my life is significant enough to affect anyone. My uncle made sure of that. It's not like Astoria would accept me ... if I ever return and even if I did, it's not like I can just walk in and regain my title.  And what about your safety? I don't want you to keep putting yourself in danger for me anymore</em>!"</p><p>Kita lightly grab his hand and pulled it so that Atsumu would looked up from the ground and into his former tutor's eyes. Those eyes had not lost its sharp intelligence but it was softer. Kita placed his hand on Atsumu's cheek not unlike how Atsumu's mother would do whenever Atsumu was in his bout of emotional moments.</p><p>"I <em>care about your safety and as yesterday showed you, so does everyone here. And your life is significant enough for Astoria to make your uncle look for you. Don't let the peace you find here erase who you really are - who your father was. You are still Atsumu Miya</em>," - Kita gave small smile- "<em>it was a mistake on my part to think that this part of you could be buried but that is not the case. And so we must act on this new information as swiftly and effectively as possible to ensure that you continue on being alive until the day come for it to be safe for you to return to Astoria.</em>"</p><p>Return to Astoria - those words, in addition to the dread it installed in Atsumu, filled him with nostalgia and unbidden happiness as the mountains behind Vega, the taste of freshly caught tuna, the sound of bamboo swaying against the wind came to mind.</p><p>"<em>I didn't think it's possible</em>," Atsumu admitted sadly.</p><p>"<em>Perhaps it is not but perhaps it is - we don't really know but we must keep it in mind. We do not know what the political situation is in Astoria, especially since news of its internal dealing is limited, but I can guess that it is not good which would explain why your uncle have Nohebi find you. That is, if the look-alive is indeed a ploy by Nohebi</em>."</p><p>"<em>I'm really hoping it's not</em>."</p><p>Kita only nodded in agreeance.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Sakusa had to unpack and Daichi had Atsumu followed him so he could had the valet up to date of his own training with Ennoshita. Why can't the first footman do that, Atsumu asked perturbed. Because he had other matters to attend to, Daichi answered and closed his office door with a decisive bang.</p><p>However, Atsumu needed not worry on keeping Sakusa up to date with the happenings in Karasuno for Aihara, Nishinoya, and Tanaka had talked Sakusa's ears off about Lord Tobio's return; the mysterious circumstances surrounding it;  the fencing match between the two lords; of Atsumu almost dropping the ice bucket on Sir Oikawa during dinner; of Atsumu angering a lord by chatting up with his fiancée; and of Atsumu almost drowning in the lake.</p><p>"Why is it that every story I hear, you are somehow involve in most of it?" Sakusa asked as the as two men left the servants dormitory and entered the third floor corridor, walking toward the main staircase to get to the second floor, where at the end of the hall was the servant entrance.</p><p>"Haven't ya heard, I'm the center of everything," Atsumu replied happily. Sakusa snorted in disbelief and muttered how he could not believed he was to be Atsumu's babysitter again as Ennoshita was returning to his footman duties.</p><p>"Well, I'm not lookin' forward to walking 'round with ya so don't think ya the only one suffering, Omi-Omi! Sides, I'm not always gettin' into trouble ("I beg to differ," Sakusa muttered), ya should hear how Lord Ushijima almost broke one of the oars yesterday, gettin' him and Lady Natsu stranded in the middle of the la-"</p><p>"Wakatoshi is here?" Sakusa asked. He froze immediately but the damage was done.</p><p>"Wakatoshi?" Atsumu all but whispered.  He could feel his own face splitting in a grin, a very mischievous grin, as he leaned closer. Sakusa leaned back, looking very irritated. "<em>Wakatoshi</em>? Oh ho ho, Omi-Omi, since when ya in first name terms with a lord?"</p><p>"That is none of your business!" Sakusa started walking down the hall but Atsumu followed close by with spring in his steps. He was not letting him leave without getting some answer because finally he was getting some dirt on Omi-Omi who never, if ever, divulge his private life to anyone. </p><p>"Does his lordship know of this?" Atsumu asked. No reply so he continued on listing questions after questions. With each word, Sakusa's shoulder stiffened with suspended rage but he was doing a good job at keeping his mouth shut and not turning around. Atsumu was about to ask even more intimate question when they reached the end of the steps and turned the corner to find Lord Wakatoshi Ushijima there. </p><p>Sakusa stopped so quickly that Atsumu almost walked right into him. Maybe he should had, then Omi-Omi would had fallen on Lord Ushijima and Atsumu could watch the drama unfold from there.</p><p>"Sakusa," Lord Ushijima said. His eyes fell on Atsumu and he gave a small nod of which Atsumu returned with a bow. Then, the giant lord was looking back at the valet whose face was impassive but lacked the usual disgust. "How is your father? I did not get the chance to meet with him before I took my leave. I hope nothing had change since then."</p><p>"No, you don't have to worry. My father is as sturdy and stubborn as ever. Your visit was actually helpful as it got him to finally calm down and listen for once."</p><p>Lord Ushijima bowed and stated that he was glad to hear. Then, he inquired about Sakusa's own health and his journey back to Karasuno. Sakusa answered all this readily with decorum that he usually only reserved for Mistress Hinata, Lady Natsu, and, to an extent, Shouyou. This was the most fascinating and creepy sight Atsumu ever set his eyes on. Sakusa was being, well, <em>nice</em>. It was taking everything in Atsumu to not let out a squeal and point this out but Goddess, he was very close to doing so when Lord Ushijima made his leave, wishing Sakusa and Atsumu a good day.</p><p>When the giant lord turned around the corner, Atsumu turned toward Sakusa, who was determinedly looking forward.</p><p>"Sakusa," Atsumu hissed with the same intonation Ushijima had used. "Sa-ku-sa!"</p><p>Sakusa started walking away again with Atsumu behind him as his shadow. Did he spied Omi-Omi's ears pinker than usual?</p><p>"And ya said I'm the improper one."</p><p>That had Sakusa turning around with an indignant look as Atsumu suspected he would.</p><p>"There is nothing improper between him and me. He is a lord I happen to know well because he visited Karasuno often and sometime I had to attend to him. That is all between us."</p><p>"Oh, I'm sure that ya and <em>Wakatoshi</em> aren't doing anythin' improper. But how would I really know?" Atsumu shrugged. "Ya actually expect me to believe that the reason ya goin' moony-eye over the guy -"</p><p>"I am not mooy-eye," Sakusa hissed.</p><p>"-is just cause ya know him 'well?' Do I look like I was born yesterday?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Well, I wasn't - there's more to this that ya ain't tellin' me so ya better fess up cause I'm stickin' to ya like hot glue! Sides, while ya away, I got some experience about these matter of the heart."</p><p>"What in the name of Goddess had you been reading?"</p><p>"Only human nature," Atsumu answered self-importantly.</p><p>"My mistake, what in the name of Goddess have you been drinking?"</p><p>But Atsumu was not deterred in his questions and it was not until they reached the servant door did Sakusa turned around again.</p><p>"I am only telling you this because I know that you are going to be thinking of the most ridiculous, base-less theories," Sakusa hissed into Atsumu's face. It was annoying that the man was inches taller than Atsumu because he could actually be intimating - too bad it did not work on Atsumu whose daily exposure to Daichi and Kita had made him immune to all type of intimidating expression.  He made to rebate but Sakusa continued on, "my family are tenant famers on the land owned by Wakatoshi's family so I knew Wakatoshi since I was a young boy. My cousin and I were his playmates until he left for boarding school when he was fifteen. And I entered service not long after that. And that's just it, we were childhood friends but were are never that close."</p><p>"Really? Cause that guy seem to remember ya and he's asking 'bout yer father," Atsumu pointed out.</p><p>"That's because I have met him about three days ago. He was visiting the farmers, as it was one of his jobs as the lord of the estate, when we happened to run into each other on the road. My cousin and I were on a cart going to the farmer market when one of the wheel broke; Wakatoshi came upon us and helped us. That's how he knew of my father and why he remember me, there is nothing more than that." The last part was said with so much emphasizes that it was a wonder Sakusa did not stomped his feet.</p><p>"Jeez, fine, fine. Ya don't need to hone it on me or anythin'" Atsumu muttered, finding the story far too dull and un-scandalous then he had hoped. "But ya gotta admit one thing."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"He's a very good lookin' guy, no?"</p><p>Sakusa slammed the door in his face and locked it so Atsumu had to walked down another flight of steps and around the freaking house to get downstairs.</p><p><em>Bastard</em>, Atsumu thought with a smile.</p><p>However, when he came upon the ground floor, he witnessed Daichi, Ennoshita, and Nishinoya helping a group of people in through the entrance. Knowing not to be seen, Atsumu quickly jumped behind a column where a tall plant stood by thus blocking him from the visitors' views. Lord Shouyou, Mistress Hinata, and Lady Natsu came out of the library in greetings for the visitors were family. </p><p>The group consisted of a vulture-like looking man and a crossed-looking woman who must be Mistress Hinata's parents; there were two second cousins; an aunt, a uncle, and their five children. As they were all from Mistress Hinata's side of the family, none of them had the bright red hair but most held the happy countenance and amiable air. They greeted Shouyou with great happiness and well-wishes while inquiring about his bachelor status with the same grace and subtlety as an elephant in a room full of glass. Shouyou good-naturally answered them in his usual teasing, vague manner that had his adult relatives shaking their heads in frustration, resignation, and lack of surprise.</p><p>"Now that you are of age and have inherited your great-grand father's fortune, you have become even more of a catch in society eyes. You surely cannot think that tomorrow ball would not be without its usual share of people hunting for said wealth!" Shouyou's aunt loudly exclaimed as she walked up into the library.</p><p>"I don't think so - its only my friends and their family after all," Shouyou replied. His aunt declared that said friends are also of marriageable age and if any of them had a good head on their shoulder, they would be throwing themselves at his feet  (Atsumu scowled at this but was not really surprised at such a declaration).</p><p>"But they already do that enough," Lady Natsu stated. Her cousins chocked in laughter while Shouyou quickly denied this by pointing out that as he was twenty three he would maturely not give in to his sister's jibs. This lasted for two minutes and the two siblings were once again teasing the heck out of each other with happy interjection from the cousins and the younger children.</p><p>"Say, just the other day, I met Akaashi at the park and he said that he would not be coming, is this really true or is he pulling my legs?" One of the cousin asked. Shouyou gave an affirmation while the cousin's sister stated Akaashi was not the type to make such jokes.</p><p>"Still," the cousin continued, "its peculiar that he won't come to Kageyama's party yesterday.  I mean it is understandable if he did not come for Shouyou's - you don't know him that well. But Kageyama? Those two get along quite well and it is kind of offensive of him to say 'no' to the invitation."</p><p>"Didn't he say he had family issues that he must attend to?" His sister replied.</p><p>"Everyone knows that that is a typical response to dismissing an unwanted invitation," Grandma Hinata replied stiffly while the cousin said at the same time, "I can't see how he wanted to remind at home - I would thought he much prefer to be away from them."</p><p>"Why would you say that? Are things difficult at his house?" Mistress Hinata asked cordially.</p><p>"It's not that its difficult but more uncomfortable after all given Akaashi's background and his coming in to the family at such a time and such an awkward age. It is bound to be uncomfortable living situation regardless of how you look at it. Especially for Michiru."</p><p>"Well, I thought it was good of Lady Usuri to recognize her son -" Mistress Hinata's words were lost to a closed door.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>"Woah," Atsumu exclaimed in awe at the size and splendor of the ballroom. It was an hour before dinner and the rest of the Hinata family had returned to their rooms to rest from the journey. Lord Ushijima had long since left - he had came to the house to discuss some land issue with Shouyou. Since there was not much for Atsumu to do, Sakusa had been avoiding him as if he had the plague, he decided to take a peek into the western wing of the manor where the ballroom was located.</p><p>The room was usually locked up for most of year and was now opened for Shouyou's birthday. It was a large, oval room surrounded by ceiling-high windows that opened to a terrace that led to the garden in which the best of Kita's hard-work could be admired. The white wall and columns gave an illusion of space especially with the windows. Two crystal chandeliers hang from the ceiling; the night before, they were let down so that the maids could washed and brushed the crystals. They now hang like iridescent teardrops suspended over a sliver halo. All in all, there was a dream-like quality to the room.</p><p>It reminded Atsumu of the Glass Palace in Adralle, a kingdom north of Astoria.  To his eleven year old self, the spacious rooms of the palace had made him feel that he was in a land of Giants while the many glasses and crystals that embellished the walls and furniture, in addition to the snowy landscape outside, made him think he was living in an ice palace. It was also the first time he was in a royal ball for the cousin of the Adrallian queen was a friend of his mother. He remembered being dressed in tight Astorian formal wear, his hair slicked back, gold chain looped over his shoulders while a jade earring hang on his right ear (Osamu wore his on his left ear and this was used by the guests to tell them apart).The people had been pleasant toward their mother and kinder toward the twins. Atsumu, of course, had looked at this with suspicion for it had felt like a prank; any minute now, some Astorian nobility was going to jumped forward and accused their mother of some wrongdoing and the twins of some mischief. But that did not occurred. The splendid food and entertainment had been enough to distract the twelve year old for the rest of the night.</p><p>He had danced that night - first with his mother, than with her friend, and with a girl who was a few years older than him. He no longer remembered what she looked like or her name but he remembered the blue dress that flow like the river when she dance and the white gloves that held his hand tight. She had been a very outspoken and did not seem at all bothered by Atsumu's lack of manner - he had liked her very much. So did Osamu. And the three of them had spend the night together in shared camaraderie of being the only foreigners in the room.   </p><p>Looking around the ballroom with a small turn on his heel, Atsumu felt his stomach turned uncomfortably. It had been a good day. The garden looked as beautiful and organized as ever and the easy chatter of the Karasuno staff could be heard; everything was as it should be. But he felt a bit unsettled with the peace as if he was standing in a calm before the storm. Kita's mission tomorrow and the possibility of Nohebi being near weighted heavy in his heart.</p><p><em>Nohebi</em> - the snake clan. The name alone was meant to strike fear into the enemy's heart. And indeed, the clan was a source of fear and intrigue inside and outside Astoria. They were well-known for the work they conducted but inside knowledge of the clan working and hierarchy was shady at best. The only reason Atsumu had known as much he did was because he knew Suguru Daishou. Now that was a snake if Atsumu ever saw one. As a boy, Daishou had no problem reminding Atsumu and Osamu that they were outsiders and lower than his precious Mika. But despite being only the guard's son and a social inferior, he had a high sense of self importance and superiority that had him let slip certain information about himself. They were small facts that were not important in the grand scheme of things but to Atsumu who hated Daishou, he collected them like shells on a beach to be studied and kept so that they would be used at the appropriate time. It was fortunate for Daishou that Atsumu never had the chance for how he would had enjoyed the power.</p><p>Was Daishou in Celeste now looking for Atsumu? Or would he be considered too young to come? Atsumu was unsure if he wanted Daishou away or not. For one thing, as far as he knew, Daishou was the only one of Nohebi who had met Atsumu so he was the most likely person to recognize him. And for another, Atsumu did not like the idea of that man finding him in the position of a servant. He bet that man would loved that and taunted Atsumu even more.</p><p>That was if Daishou did not kill him first.</p><p>A shiver came over Atsumu and he tried to turn his thoughts away to more pleasant ones. But his traitorous mind went to Mika. He hadn't thought of her in a long time but he wondered what she was up to now, was she enjoying her newfound position thanks to her father doing away with the twins. Atsumu was sure she was aware of what happened to them. No doubt little-miss-perfect made a show of mourning for them and quickly got over it - people like her, those who seem nice but were really wolf in sheep clothing did that a lot. But Osamu thought differently. He loved her and always saw the best in her. She could threw a tray of cookies into the lake and Osamu would still claimed she was the gentlest girl in the world. Atsumu could not understand why. Mika was somewhat shy and rarely adventurous. She found swordplay boring, the <em>Tales</em> disinterest her, and she had the most terrible singing voice. In other words, she was the exact opposite of Atsumu and he found her uninteresting. But people loved her, protect her, praised her just because she was born in the right family, to the right father and mother. </p><p>Even so, Atsumu had to admit that she was a bit, only a bit, better than Akihito. Five years older, his half-brother had all the making of a sociopath: narcissistic, sadistic, entitled, charming, pretentious, and a habitual liar. Goddess, did Atsumu hated him. It was not only his personality or that people adored him regardless of it that earned him Atsumu's hatred but what he did to Osamu. The memory of it still clenched Atsumu's stomach and he found himself cursing his dead half-brother. Death was too kind to a man like Akihito and Atsumu hoped he suffered in the afterlife or in his next life. </p><p>Suddenly, wanting to let out the tensions in his body and toss away such fustrating subjects from his mind, Atsumu started to sway in his steps. They slowly became  purposeful and rhythmic - he took a step to his left while his right leg slowly followed than he repeated on the other leg. Then, with a melody in mind, he made a bow at his imagined partner as he skipped to the side, back to his starting position, than to the other side and he made a turn. There was no pattern, no purpose in his movement. One moment he was doing a Lysonian jig, the next an Adrallian waltz, than some folk dance of Kahr, before returning to the waltz, but this one was more faster and vigorous. He was humming out loud now as he dance and dance.</p><p>His angry slowly melted as pleasant memories came to him with each step as if the combined atmosphere of the room, now golden with the setting sun, and the song had unlocked something within him that had him aching for the youthful innocence and a sense of contentment- the competitions he had with Osamu on who would learn a dance first; the embarrassing moment when he stepped on his instructor's feet because he was too busy glaring at his brother; the Ojiros and his mother dancing in the moonlight as he, Osamu, and Aran played the drums, following along; the girl in the blue dress laughing as she pirouetted around Atsumu; Shouyou holding out his hand as he asked "may I have this dance;" the amusment that flashed through Atsumu as he taught Shouyou the Astorian step dance; Shouyou -</p><p>Shouyou, who appeared before him as if conjured by Atsumu's memories; Shouyou, whose eyes were both dark and shining, whose mouth was open and the sound of sweet laughter filled the empty space, took Atsumu's hand and without hesitation, without question, stepped easily into the waltz. Atsumu laughed, neither caring if this was a dream or real, and squeeze his lord's hand before whirling him around the room.</p><p>They moved energetically, playfully and Shouyou joined in the singing.  His voice was higher and did not had the same control that years of vocal couching had gifted Atsumu but it did not matter. Two men were belting out melody in tune to their dance. It was not coordinated, not practiced; many mistakes were made, some awkward pauses occurred, wrong tune were made but what did it matter to the two men who were letting the feel of the dying day, the energy of the moment, and the warmth of the other guided them.</p><p>Then, feeling a bit mischievous, Atsumu let go of his lord's hands and did an elaborate dance step that was not part of the waltz. Shouyou stopped in surprise but quickly got over it as he started dancing his own - his feet did not seem to touch the floor as he skip, slide, tap, and glide. The back of his evening jacket wiped behind him like wings as he flew across the floor. Neither were singing anymore as laughter filled the room. Shouyou held out both his hands and Atsumu took them - they did a cross swing and a final turn.</p><p>Both were breathing heavily as they came to a stop. Shouyou's hair was messier than usual, a small beat of sweat rain down his cheek. Without a second thought, Atsumu wipe it but did not moved his right hand away. Shouyou lifted his own hand to touch it. They stood there for a few more seconds, taking in each other presence as their eyes hungrily looked over the other.</p><p>Shouyou made to speak but he closed his mouth several time and a look of frustration, hesitation, and something passed over him. Atsumu was about to ask what's the matter when Shouyou said, "you have a good voice." His finger rubbed Atsumu's hand before letting go. </p><p>"Yer not bad yerself with yer steps," Atsumu returned. "But then I am a good teacher!"</p><p>"Oh, of course," Shouyou rolled his eyes good naturally, "you taught me how not to trip over myself."</p><p>"One time! Trip one time and ya never let a guy forget."</p><p>"How could I? Ya let out the most funny noise."</p><p>Atsumu pinched both of his lord's cheeks in vengeance. He squashed them when Shouyou let out a muffled laugh. Then, his eyes turned a little fondly as he said something.</p><p>"What's that?"</p><p>Shouyou's face flushed lightly as he said, "I wish I could dance with you tomorrow."</p><p>Atsumu felt his inside turned to wax for the admittance lighted the candle within him. His lord's smile, his flushed face, that voice - they were not good for his health and he did not believed he was being dramatic when he claimed that Lord Shouyou Hinata would be the death of him one day.</p><p>"Who said ya couldn't?" Shouyou blinked questioningly at him and Atsumu elaborated. "Ever heard of a moonlight dance?"</p><p>"I can't leave the party - people will notice." Yet despite this, Shouyou placed his chin between his thumb and forefinger as he started formulating a plan. He finally looked up with an excited grin and playfully asked, "save me a dance?"</p><p>Atsumu grinned back, "course." He felt infinitely lighter as the sun finally disappeared beyond the tree and the shadows of the room grew. Once agan forgoning second thoughts, he picked up Shouyou's hand and kissed it with a bow.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>When Atsumu retired to his room after dinner and most of the servants retired to bed, he found a letter on the floor in front of his door. Someone must had slided it through the open space between the door and the floor. One look at the writing told him that it was from Shouyou. Now even more curious with the addition of his heart beating at an irregular manner, Atsumu sat down onto his bed and opened the letter.</p><p>It held five pages filled from the front to the back in Astorian <em>Toria</em>. The familiar letters jumped out at him and a quick read of the first line showed that this was not the letter he and Shouyou drafted days ago. The writing was more neater and thicker as if his lord had written with considerable care and thought; the date at the top right of the paper showed it was written yesterday. Atsumu briefly wondered why Shouyou would send him a letter when he had seen him only four hours ago before he read it:</p><p>
  <em>Dear Cesario,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I barely know where to begin. This is my tenth attempt at writing and already I am tempted to crumple this paper up and start anew. Writing my feelings and thoughts down is a very daunting task and part of me questioned the good of doing this. It would be better for me to talk to you where I could easily explain myself more effectively . But then a memory come to me of the you that day in the library in which you help me craft my sad-attempt of a love letter - your face alighted with passion and determination as you stated the importance, the necessity, of a love letter and I knew then, that if I were to write any letter of such nature, it would be to you. I wish to do you justice. Therefore, I set my stubborn, impatient self down and write this. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I told you three lies these past two weeks. The thing was, when I told each one, they weren't really lies but more of half-truth and denials at the time. But each weighted heavily on me as I believed they had given you a false impression of me, my feelings toward Kageyama -and toward you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The first lie was told on the day of the Marton Fair. I like to think I knew you well by that point but it was that day my eyes opened to the way I had treated and viewed you. I had realized how selfish and careless I had been toward you in the sense that I thought more of my own need than perceived how my actions placed you in a difficult position in the eyes of others. You know that thoughts of other rarely concern me and I could say the same of you. Whenever I was with you, it felt as if we are in a bubble in which we are on the inside while the rest of the world was outside. I felt that nothing could touch us and that whatever was said about us need not worry us for neither you nor I care.  Sakusa was perspective of this, as he always was, and had hinted to me that such a bubble could not last forever. He had also made a curious remark that my actions might gave you the impression that I am interested in undertaking a more intimate relationship with you. But I always had the habit of taking what Sakusa said as mere suggestions and thus, I disregarded his warnings.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then came the Marton Fair were you told me of your reasoning of avoiding me for three days and of what my mother and Sawamura had said of us. I had asked if you had not wanted to be my lover to which you replied "do you?" I hinted that I want to. I lied. Before this moment I never once thought of asking you to be my lover. I may had imagined moments of us together but in none of the daydreams were we lovers. Before you think the worst let me explain myself. You see, I always view my lovers in term of time - that they were temporary. You already know of my view toward romance so you should no doubt understand what I like about my lovers is the knowledge that I could leave them at anytime and they cannot stop me. I do not care if they leave me as well for I had acknowledged that nothing was to go beyond what we share. You see the pitiful and cruel state I treated my lovers? You see why I could not think of you in such a term? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You are not temporary, I do not want you to be. You have became part of my life that the thought of us separating with minimal contact and only memories of a short-lived passion was abhorrent and distasteful to me. I was selfish with you in that I want you as long as possible. But Sakusa was right in that my treatment of you had given others the belief that you and I were lovers. And that my action had made you think that I had wanted more from you. Don't play with your heart, you had said. Those words tormented me for I never thought that my actions would cause such distress in you. It was never my intention to give you more of an impression of my feelings toward you than what they truly were. At that time, I only regarded you as my friend -a favorite of mine that mean the world to me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Those three days of avoidance were the worst you had put me through but they were enlightening in regards to how much I had came used to your presence; your voice; your comical look of the world; your harsh, cutting honesty;  and your boastful, showy self - so used to you that I had childishly ignored you in turn out of a petty need to make you suffer as I have. Those three days had made me realized how carelessly I had viewed you in my life, how I had not realized how much you had become to me. But now that I know, our talk at the fair had also opened another subject matter that Sakusa had pointed out. The presence of society in our life. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hate society - I hate their unrelenting need to stalk my life, categorized it based on my wealth, and dictated the people I interact with, places I go, what I wore, and such. It is such a bore listening to the nobilities talk that I took much joy in acting the complete opposite of what they want of me. I find much happiness in being my vague, clueless self and pulled the rug under their feet when they crossed a line - as Lord Saburou was with you the other day. Society had at least been kind, and I used this word in its most ironic sense, to turn a blind eye on my past romantic dalliance but I knew that they would not be kind to you. I much prefer that you are kept away from these people and so I made a promise to myself to be more mindful of my actions and to not be as misleading as I had been.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That was a promise I found most difficult to keep and easy to forget. Do you have any idea how distracting you are? Do you have any idea how impossible it was to be by your side and not want to touch you, tease you, hold you? When you came to the library the day Kageyama arrived, when you sat by my side and listen to me - how could I not want to fall into your arms and let you hold me? When you listened, read, and edited my love letters with the patience of a saint, how could I not want to grab you collar and kiss you? When you left the pavilion in that terrible expression of pain and grief, it took everything I had not to hold you close and comfort you. But you claimed to view me as your fondest friend just as I had believed myself - funny enough, the idea that you see me only as a friend was a splinter that occupied my thoughts in the most inappropriate of times and it annoyed me to days ends. I will not deny that I was surprised by your refusal of being my lover and I took it as indication of truth of your words. We are to be the best of friends and I hated it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>This is a good segway to my second lie, which concerns Kageyama but not in the way you may think. I believe I had once told you it was not really that unusual for Kageyama to have a lover for he had one before. I was vague about it but the truth was I knew more about it then I like to admit it. It was a lord whom I am not sure you had met or knew of but he was here today at the party. He had visited the manor about six summers ago and I had knew, just with one interaction with him and an observation of his and Kageyama's actions that they were intimate. For all his bland appearance, Kageyama was very expressive when it comes to the matter of the heart. Not to mention, the expressions that Kageyama did showed were ones I never seen before nor had the pleasure of being besotted on me. He cannot lie to me -even if he want to, I can immediately tell. So all I had to do was make a suggestive comment and one glance told me all that I need to know. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You cannot not imagine how I felt. It was as if someone had taken a sword to me chest, twisted it, and let it remained there. I could not believed it, I refuse to believed it but I cannot unseen what I had seen, I cannot tune out my brain to not follow Kageyama around the room and take in his tone, his expression, and his movement. The jealousy I felt that summer was so explosive that it unwritten any happy thought I had, any happy memories I had of those three months. All I could think of was Kageyama and that lord, of those two together, of that lord and me, of what I lack, what I have, and of why Kageyama could not find me just as wanting. It was a blow to my self-esteem, I will admit for as you know I had always fancy that Kageyama would fall in love with me. A string of fate, I can see you shaking your head scornfully, would led Kageyama to me and me alone. I hated to be wrong. I could barely looked at Kageyama or the lord in the face; anytime I saw the two together - for they were always together- I placed myself between them in the most determined and childish manner. Jealousy - my first bout of jealousy, mind you- had me reverting into a child determined to keep his toy to himself. As you know, Kageyama remained unaware of the reasons behind my actions and always see fit to threw me out of the room. However, I always felt that the lord was more aware of my feelings and this only made me irritated toward him. It had seem so unfair to me that he should be privy to my thoughts in addition to having Kageyama. I knew not the circumstances as to why their relationship ended; in truth, I feel it was not a decision Kageyama wanted for he was his most depressive self that summer. Far more angry, emotional, and prone to shouting at the smallest inconvenience. But I was quite happy with the outcome for it meant Kageyama was once again unattached and fate was going according to plan. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am rumbling again. I wanted to explain this in a few short sentences but my hand was flying down the page before I remember myself. Anyway, back to my second lie, it was told on the night of Kageyama's second return to Karasuno in the library. It wasn't really a lie but more of a half-truth but since this had given you a somewhat false impression of my feelings regarding Kageyama, I will name it as "lie" and tell you why. You asked me as to what was troubling me and I told you that it bothered me that Kageyama had fallen in love with someone else. Lie. I was not bothered by Kageyama falling in love - I was more bothered by my lack of care of this fact. When Ms. Tsubaki mentioned this during dinner, I was admittedly shocked. When the shock subsided I was more interested in the state of Kageyama and his grandfather's reaction to the news. Now, I know Lord Kageyama all my life and he was a grandfather to me than my real grandfather had been, I had only saw him in such an agitated state once. But the fact that such an expression was given to Kageyama and for Kageyama to so openly defined his grandfather by admitting to having a lover was most shocking. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But that was it - there was no jealousy to be found. I did not started cursing the unknown lover and started comparing myself to him as I had with the pervious lord. In fact, the identity of the lover was of no consequence to me than of the drama between grandson and grandfather. And that was what bothered me the most that night - that I was not jealous at all when all novels of love and my pervious experience indicated that my most natural reaction should be jealousy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now, you might be asking yourself as to why I see the need to hide this from you when there was no reason to. First was the fact that I was quite in shock of my realization that I wanted more time to go over it with myself before opening to you. Secondly, it was your fault. Your face was so earnest and so kind as you waited on me that I felt my feelings on the matter were so trivial to received such care. I felt embarrassed to admit that I felt nothing toward a man I had believed to be in love with and perhaps, I was worried that you might find me far more wishy-washy than I truly was.  I really did not want you to think badly of me. But then what happen? You stated that you did not mind, that it was of no consequence to you that I have some bad habits and bad thoughts - "You are human," you had said. Why do you keep doing this? Why must you say the most considerate things that made me feel loved and accepted? That I could tell you anything and you would be as honest and as kind to me? You care for me so much that you volunteer to help me regarding Kageyama. How could I discourage such an idea when your face was so intense, so motivated to help me heal, what you no doubt assume, my broken heart? How could I admit that you were wrong, that it was not my heart that was breaking but the false perception of myself and of my friend? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And this was my third lie: that Kageyama is the man I see myself with. But this a curious lie for it felt like a truth at the time. I still think of Kageyama as my one and only but at the same time, I was aware of how unfeeling I was toward him. I was not jealous nor was I determine to do anything about it. If you remember correctly, it was you who pushed me to act on my feelings, you who indicated that I was not doing enough and that I should do more. I follow with your romantic schemes for I, myself, was curious to see how exactly my un-feelingness expand to. Was it perhaps not that I was not jealous but more of I have come to accept that Kageyama would have lovers before he was with me? Or was it that my feeling regarding Kageyama was not as strong as I had imagine it to be? The first thought was preferable compare to the second for if the second was true than I would had to face another fact that had been bubbling inside of me for days. Facing the second one was most frightening for it concern you and may change our relationship if I were to acknowledge it. And for that I push it down and follow with your schemes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But alas, these schemes only serve to remind me that things had change. It brought out the one fact that I was afraid to face: I rather be with you than Kageyama. Isn't that funny? I prefer be with you plotting romantic scheme for me and Kageyama rather than be with Kageyama, the very man you were helping me to be with. Isn't that very telling on who I care for? But I was determined to see the schemes through and tried to ignored the startling revelation. But my heart was not in it and perhaps you are aware of this - or perhaps you noticed the lack of determination, passion, and seriousness I brought to this whole endeavor. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Which only makes it ironic and amusing that  the moments I did feel that determination, passion, and seriousness were toward you. Of more precisely, you and Kageyama. Forgive me if this is a shock but I believe my friend care more about you than you seem to think. Remember, Kageyama cannot lie to me. I was not oblivious to the fact that he had been giving you a lot of attention than he had ever given any one in Orion apart from his last lover. But there was something more, something in his manner that indicate to me that he did not see you as a passing infatuation but of a serious nature. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oikawa agreed. He too had been observing you and Kageyama for some times and it was yesterday night that he admitted to me of his observations. He had made a joke of us needing to plan your wedding - I had not laughed but I was quick to hide this. I hazard a guess that the letter that had you meeting Kageyama in the pavilion today was Oikawa's doing. There was something about his manner when he came to me and Kageyama inquiring about the false letter that felt fake. I like to think I knew Oikawa well to read his moods and habits. His action today in the garden was most telling and I knew that he have a scheme up his sleeve involving you and Kageyama. I take comfort in the fact that you did not seem to return Kageyama's affection but it was still worrying. For you see, Oikawa's account only strengthen the theory of Kageyama's affection toward you. It angers me. Do you want to know the thoughts that ran around my head at this time? I thought of how I knew you first, about how I knew you better, how you clearly care for me more, how unfair that Kageyama should have you when I could not. I thought of whether you find me lacking, what about Kageyama you may like. I can't have Kageyama have you, I refuse to allow it. You had witnessed my childish display of possessiveness in the library when I walked in on you and Kageyama laying on the floor. Both of you claimed to be looking for a cat but all I could think of was the observation Oikawa had noted of you two - of how well you two look good together. I had wanted to grab your hand and pulled you to my side in the need to show that you were mine alone. So, you see I was finally jealous - this was the jealousy I had waited for as I sat through that dinner with Ms. Tsubaki, Tsukishima, Oikawa and Kageyama. This was the jealousy that make sense for me to have. It was just that it was directed toward Kageyama rather than for him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But then, you may ask, what was the point of our argument in the parlor? What was the point of it if I was already aware that my love for Kageyama had long since die out? Because I was still in denial. My jealously toward Kageyama? A minor trifle of a master worried for his favorite servant, I said to myself. What about my un-feelinginess toward Kageyama? Well, people do say romance hit a snag from time to time, I said to myself. I reasoned, I cajoled myself to live on in denial. Thus, I needed our argument at the parlor to happen because it, and the day afterward, are what push me to accept the undeniable fact that I no longer view Kageyama anything more than a dear friend. I needed to be told this. I did not utter a single lie in the parlor or the day afterward. I was willing to hang on to the certainty of Kageyama than take a step, a leap of faith to an unknown love that I was unsure returned my feelings or not. I truly do not want my heart to break or to no longer have a certainty to fall back on. But you are a persuasive man and I can no longer live in my pitiable state of denial and muted affection. Love was never a certainty, even with Kageyama, it never was. But I was a stubborn fool determined to have life play to my whims. I see now that it was a failed endeavor for I failed to consider the right way of doing things, one of which was to accept what I can and cannot do.  When you fall into the lake today and did not came up immediately, I truly thought I lost you. Death had never felt closer to me than that moment and all I could think of was how many days you still needed to live, how many days I wanted to live with you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I care more about you than a servant or as my friend;  I do not think it was possible for me love someone as I love Kageyama but I do and more. You had found a key to my heart that so few had a chance of finding and had successfully opened it. You barged in so carelessly, so unintentionaly but you did not see yourself entitled to my affection. You took what I gave and returned it tenfold, far more than I asked or had required. You just give and give and give and what more could I do but fall in love with you? For I do love you, very much. You stole yourself into my dreams, you whispered in my head in the most inconvenient times, you calmed me down at my worse, lifted me up at my best. Everyone of your actions spoke of your affection and care toward me and I always I felt I was not giving enough back in return.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I apologize for the lack of poetry or flowery language in this letter but if I am to compare you to anything, it would be the sun. You go about your day doing whatever you want with little concern of how it affect others much like the sun that hang above the sky, radiating its light and heat on us with little regard to how hot or how unbearable it can get.  But much like the sun, you are always there - you will always be where you said you will be, you never faltered in your determination, and you always see things through to the end despite how much you despise your work.  Like the sun, you had brought to light several things about myself that I had much rather kept in the dark but your comforting and steady presence ensure that I do not fall back to my bad habit. You challenge me to be the best I can be because you give your best to me. And I hope that I challenge you back. The sword fights, the stories we tell, the days spend in the fields, the arguments we have, the fights we refuse to forfeits, the secrets we share, the dreams we held,  all of this in six months. Is it possible to fall in love within six months? Is it possible for me to think that I knew you the best but there is still more of you for me discover? I do not know what the future holds and that is scary. But I have decided to take this leap and see if these six months can become more. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And thus, with this letter, I give the whole of my heart to you. You have always be kind to me and I hope you will extend the same kindness to my heart. Regardless of what your answer will be, you will always be my favorite with whom I held the most fondest memories and highest regards toward.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With all my love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shouyou Hinata</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 11</strong>
</p><p>-<em>one day before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>Shouyou opened his door quickly, his face flushed with expectations. Atsumu entered his room in a daze. Compared to his room, Shouyou's room was larger - two windows faced the door with a desk in between. A large canopy bed laid not far from the door and beyond it was a small fireplace with a mantelpiece over it. The only source of light was the lantern by the bed, its soft yellow light cast large shadows on the rest of the room making it smaller than it was. An open book and the ruffled sheets indicated Shouyou had been laying down when Atsumu knocked. The number of times Atsumu had been in this room yet this felt like the first time he was truly seeing the room - truly taking in the darkness and the cluster of it all. How could Shouyou stand being here? It was barely breathable despite the partly opened windows. Or maybe it was Atsumu who was have difficulties breathing for a balloon had been expanding in his chest since he finished reading the letter. It was taking everything in Atsumu from letting the balloon lose. He needed to make sure, needed to get the facts before he let go.</p><p>His hand that held the envelope shook and Atsumu took an uneven breath. He looked at Shouyou, whose body was vibrating with energy much like Atsumu. His fingers played with each other as his left foot tap anxiously on the floor. He was looking at Atsumu one minute then at letter, before returning to Atsumu's face.</p><p>Atsumu brought up the envelope - despite his shaken state, he held it softly, unwilling to let it crumple.</p><p>"Ya wrote this, right?" Atsumu asked. He hated how his voice shook but he carried on. Don't think too much, don't think too much, if the letter truly was nothing than a stabbing wound would hurt less. "Please say ya did and this isn't some sick joke made up by Sir Oikawa or Kuroo or anyone for some sick reason."</p><p>Shouyou blinked at him. Confusion flashed in his eyes before it soften as understanding took over. He moved forward cautiously, grabbed Atsumu's hand, and brought it to his chest.</p><p>"Yes, I wrote it." He said, there was no hesitation or regret. His eyes burning as he stared intently into Atsumu's. "I wrote every word and I meant every word. I love you, Cesario. I have been for awhile, you wonderful, dense man."</p><p>"Ya don't hafta add the 'dense' part," Atsumu said weakly.</p><p>"Was I wrong to write this?"</p><p>Atsumu shook his head quickly. He opened his mouth to confess but to his surprise, his throat choked, locking the words in so that he looked like a foolish frog in front of a prince.</p><p>It had felt like a dream when he finished reading - so dazed was he that he had to walk six circles around his room before he read the letter again to ensure that what his eyes had seen were indeed what his mind had remembered. And he read certain passages again the third time and a fourth time. He read the whole letter for the fifth time, this time truly taking in what was written and compared it to his own memories of the past weeks. Certain events were wonderfully reconstructed; certain actions were given new meaning; certain words gained new understandings - what power did that letter held! It could so much as said the sky was always purple and he would had believed it in his delirious state of happiness, disbelief, and exhilaration. Thus, when Atsumu finally, finally allowed himself to accept what was written he had collapsed onto his bed, his hands over his mouth, his eyes wide as he looked at the ceilings. Then, his mouth transformed into a beautiful smile as certain words repeated themselves.</p><p>His face was doing the same thing again as the words "I love you"  echoed in his head, which was now a hollow cave for Shouyou - beautiful, wonderful Shouyou- had dug all its workings and treasures away.  Suddenly, as these things tend to happen at very happy moments, every insecurity and every fear that ranges from his worth as a person to his lack of wealth came forward, taunting him of the fragility of this moment and the possibility of a love dying as soon as the embers in the fireplace. But the hopeful joy that had erupted in his chest at Shouyou's confession combated these disconcerting thoughts; the weight of these clashes had Atsumu kneeling onto the floor. Shouyou let out an exclamation and made to follow but Atsumu placed his forehead onto his lord's stomach as he hugged his legs - bringing the lord closer to him but not too close.</p><p>Trapped, Shouyou could only looked down onto his favorite's head. Although the action and lack of response, for this was the first in a long time Cesario failed to respond immediately, frightened Shouyou, he made great stride to not let it worry him. If Cesario were to reject him, Shouyou had promised himself that he was not to let it get between them. Thus, with a calm that was the exact opposite of what he felt, Shouyou gently threaded his fingers through Cesario's dark hair, which was soft and light, he must had washed it recently. For some odd reason, this made Shouyou smiled and his heart, which was already fond of the man before him, grew in size.</p><p>He truly loved this man - all his dramatics and denseness.  </p><p>"Unfair."</p><p>Shouyou stilled his movement at the muffed sound.</p><p>"Yer so unfair," Cesario said again, this time with greater strength. He looked up. " I accepted that I'm only gonna be yer friend - that as long as yer happy with whoever ya love, I will be fine. I was so ready to stand by yer side as ya marry Lord Tobio. Goddess, I was ready to be yer relationship consultant anytime ya and Lord Tobio got into arguments. I was ready to smile, to comfort, and to support ya through all that. Do ya have any idea how long it took me to accept this? Only for ya to drop this bombshell on me!"</p><p>And here Hinata thought his heart could grow no more.  "You were willing to be my friend through all that. How could you expect me to love you any less?"</p><p>"How could ya expect me to not love ya?" Shouyou felt the wind knocked out of him and he was actually thankful of Cesario holding him close for he was sure to have collapse at those words, at the relief.</p><p>"So you do love me?"</p><p>" I do love ya, ya silly, wonderful man!"</p><p>"You don't need to add the 'silly' part," Shouyou laughed. Cesario stuck his tongue out.</p><p>"You silly, selfish, ridiculously cheerful, annoyingly friendly," - with each word Cesario slowly got up so that he was standing over Shouyou again, his hands had not let go so that Shouyou reminded in a partial embrace-  "demandin', carin', sword-crazy, reckless, beautiful, sunshine-reincarnated man! How could I not love you?"</p><p>"Please tell me you are going to kiss me," Shouyou whispered, feeling as if he was in a dream - that sometime between Cesario entering the room and his confession, Shouyou had fallen asleep; any moment this dream would end, he would awaken to an empty bedroom and a broken heart. But Cesario softly held his cheeks so that they were eye to eye.</p><p>"I'm gonna kiss ya."</p><p>"Then kiss me!"</p><p>Atsumu brought their lips together in a light peck - but that small touch was like lighting a bonfire within his soul and he felt no winter air nor snow could touch him. He felt Shouyou grabbed his front, pulling him forward and deepening the kiss so that his heart was swirling, his fingers trembling, and his lips tingling. Unfortunately, breathing was a necessity for living and although this did not seem to be a painful way to die, Atsumu very much wanted to be alive to experience the joy of being Shouyou's and Shouyou being his. Thus, he reluctantly leaned back which brought out a disappointed groan from his lord. This had the stimulus effect of making Atsumu lightheaded and craving more.   </p><p>Shouyou pouted so that his mouth was near his nose in such an adorable fashion. Then, he said with a challenging tint in his eyes, "it wasn't as I thought it would be."</p><p>It was like a paper was ripped near his ear on how every thoughts halted in Atsumu's mind. He pulled Shouyou closer to him and stated, "well, we can't have that."</p><p>And he kissed him again. This time with less self-consciousness and more ferocity. Shouyou hummed his approval and returned the kisses with equal vigor and speed. Thus, it was harsher, sloppy, and dazzling; neither man could get enough of the other.</p><p>"Well?" Atsumu finally breathed out. This time, he did not bothered to move away as his lip hovered a hair above his lord's. Shouyou did not opened his eyes but he was smiling widely.</p><p>"Much better," - he opened his eyes, the gold gleamed teasingly like the sun before hiding behind a thin cloud- "But so <em>short</em>!"</p><p>"Goddess, yer so difficult to please," Atsumu laughed.</p><p>"I know what I want," Shouyou replied with mock self-importance. "What was it that you said I was? Demanding, selfish - was there more I miss?" Atsumu laughed some more and was still laughing when Shouyou finally lost patience and pulled him back for a third kiss.</p><p>This one was considered too clumsy. The fourth kiss was too lazy; the fifth was fun; the sixth was slow but brimming with passion; finally, the seventh was all the above and then some more.  Shouyou's hands moved from their spot on Atsumu's chest, to over his shoulder, down his back, up his front and under his shirt. The heated path of the finger send tremor down Atsumu's body  through the thin layer of clothing and he had to break from his lord's lips to sound his excitement. Not wanting Shouyou to miss out on the fun, Atsumu turned his attention to the junction between his head and shoulder. A hard bite on a sensitive spot had Shouyou pressing and rubbing against Atsumu's front, which had the equal effect of Atsumu's legs losing their strength.  </p><p>There was a giddiness to the entire thing that came from the relief of a secret revealed and a love returned. Atsumu's heart was so full that it was impossible he was alive for surely human beings were not build to contain such strong emotions. He was in love with this precious sunshine and the sun loved him back - so few had the privilege, the luck to admit this. </p><p>In the same way, so few had the luck, the privilege to admit they were loved by Cesario for Shouyou, in that space of an hour, felt a quarter of the loyalty, devotion, and understanding that was besotted to him for life. He knew of this, of course. Had gotten a taste of it in the four months he and Cesario had became friends but only now did he realized the uniqueness, the joy it was of being Cesario's loved one. All in an hour! Surely, this was too much, too good to be true. The worry and the anxiety that had clouded over Shouyou in the hours he had sat writing the letter were pushed at bay - they were not completely gone and would returned with a vengeance. They would whispered in Shouyou's ear of whether he truly deserved Cesario's love, they would mocked him for thinking Cesario's attention would stayed on him forever but even so, even so - Shouyou was happy he took the leap. And if these worries came after him, he would had to face it - just as he had face everything else. Because he wanted this - this feeling of safety that evolved over him as Cesario pulled him into an embrace; this feeling of love that overcame him as Cesario gently picked up the fallen letter and placed it on the desk as if he was holding a fragile glass; this feeling of being understood as they leaned forward together and started whispering of the past two weeks; this feeling of the unknown as he let in a person he had only knew for six months but who also knew him better than those who knew him for two years. All these feelings, he wanted to keep and explore them.  </p><p>He chose this man and he wanted to see how far they would go.</p><p>"When didja realize ya love me?" Cesario asked. Sometime between the fourth and fifth kiss, they had made way to the bed and were currently laying down with Cesario partially on his side and Shouyou leaning over his chest. The question was expected but Shouyou could not gave a definite answer - was it the time he watched Cesario, who complained for a full hour that he was not good with children, spend a full thirty minutes encouraging a young boy to take the first jump in a game of jumping rope; or perhaps it was the time Cesario had patiently and energetically taught Shouyou how to play a star board game; or perhaps it was when Shouyou had taught Cesario how to ride a bicycle - the man had kept on falling but he was determined, fire burned in his eyes with each fall and not once did he asked to stop. So many memories came to mind but Shouyou could pinpoint the exact time, date, and circumstances he had wanted to kiss Cesario.</p><p>"It was when you were carrying the crates into the house. It was a hot day so you had rolled up your sleeve, showing these off," - Shouyou rubbed Cesario's arm with an appreciative gaze- "you did not notice me at first so I got a good view of all theses," - the hand glide up Cesario's arms, past his shoulder and down his front- "muscles at work. When you finally saw me, you started wiping your hair, taking deep breaths, and talking about wanting to take your clothes off but Sawamura won't let you," -Shouyou leaned onto Cesario's shoulder with a deep groan before looking up in an accusing manner- "then, you grabbed your shirt and started wiping your face! You were doing all that on purpose! Weren't you?"</p><p>"No way," Atsumu grinned and preened like a peacock. He knew of the day his lord was talking about but he had assumed Shouyou's flushed face and slow responses were due to it being a hot day. Not that he would admit it for he liked the fact that he could affect Shouyou just as much as the lord had affected him. A recent incident came to mind when Atsumu was tasked with bringing hot water for Shouyou's bath because Sakusa couldn't find that one particular brush that he was sure he left in that bucket. And so, Atsumu had climbed the stairs, heart thumping with excitement and mind filled with wild fantasies, into the bathroom and beheld the sight of his lord's bare shoulders, collar bone, and left leg, which was lounging on the side. The bath had been filled with bubbles, the room foggy with steam and  that sweet citrus smell, which hunted his sleep for the next few nights. Atsumu had been mostly unresponsive to his lord's want of a conversation and he was now sure, Shouyou had been purposeful in how he leaned against the bathtub, how his legs glide under the bubbles so that only a hint of his knees were seen, and how his eyes lowered to a heated gaze.</p><p>A flick on his nose had Atsumu returning to the present and to the wonderful view of Shouyou straddling his stomach. His lord's shirt was partly unbuttoned that allowed the right side to dip thus revealing his shoulder. His hair was a mess and together with the shirt, they had the effect of making Shouyou more mouthwatering and riveting. But it was the eyes and smile that did it for Atsumu - those demanding, playful eyes that had his body awakening in anticipation; and that smile that was more wolfish than sweet, that promised many pleasures if, and only if, Atsumu paid attention to him.</p><p> As if he could looked at anything else.</p><p>"Do you want to know what <em>really</em> I thought of that day?" Shouyou whispered as his forefinger glazed Atsumu's jaw. "Kissing was not the only thing on my mind."</p><p>"Oh ho," Atsumu heaved for he could think of no other reply but no way was he going to let Shouyou had an upper hand in this. He slowly rubbed Shouyou's thighs (damn it, they were hard and thick as he thought they would be)."And what's that?"</p><p>The flush on Shouyou's face heighten but he did not let out his gaze; he gave a deep sign and slowly crept forward till he was hovering over Atsumu. His elbows on either side of Atsumu's head. "Well, first, I wanted to slam you to the closet wall ... or the ground - doesn't really matter as long as I am on top of you."</p><p>"Wall, always wanna get slam into one without my life bein' in danger."</p><p>Shouyou lightly slapped his arm but his stern gaze was ineffective by the fact he was trying to repress a smile, "don't ruin the moment."</p><p>"I'm still wearin' the same clothes, right?"</p><p>"Oh definitely, but with some changes. You're in a button down and its half-way undone."</p><p>"Like yers? Thought ya want me half naked."</p><p>A pout. "But then how am I going to ripe your shirt off in a fling of passion?"</p><p>"I can do ya."</p><p>"But <em>I</em> want to do that."</p><p>Atsumu kissed him and pulled his hair with some force. Shouyou panted and clenched the pillows hard. "Ya can do this instead."</p><p>Instead of responding, Shouyou lengthened the kiss till all thoughts, once again, flew from Atsumu's head and he was at lost as to what they had been talking about until his lord moved away for air.</p><p>"And I will do that so you stop talking," he whispered into Atsumu's ear and bite the lobe. Shiver erupted down Atsumu's body and he ached forward while stretching his neck. Taking the hint, Shouyou rained kisses over it in the most slowest and aggravating manner. Atsumu tugged his hair impatiently but his lord took no noticed of it as he traveled down his chest, which had Atsumu panting hard and every nerves in his body shooting upward. Fire aligned with each kiss as Shouyou moved down, down ,down till Atsumu felt the last buttons of his shirt being removed and his bare skin opened to the hot summer air-</p><p>Then, he shot up as Shouyou's fingers danced across his naval and sides. Laugher and curses filled the room as Atsumu squirmed around trying to get away from those dangerous fingers. But Shouyou placed most of his weight on Atsumu's legs making escape impossible. Switching tactic, Atsumu reached ahead blindly toward Shouyou - his hand made contact with something soft and hot; he started wiggling his fingers. Shouyou laughed even harder as he tried to get up but Atsumu had foresaw this. He grabbed his lord by his stomach and pulled him into his lap and tickled him some more.</p><p>"Way to ruin the moment!" Atsumu gasped between laughter as he leaned back into the bed, taking Shouyou with him.  His lord giggled in reply and tried to get up but Atsumu locked his hands. Thus, he twisted around within the embrace till they were face to face. He was sporting the most innocent expression that had Atsumu narrowing his eyes in mock annoyance.</p><p>"Kiss it better?"</p><p>Atsumu was not ashamed to say he did not even hesitate to accept the apology.</p><p>Yet despite this deviation, both agreed that nothing further was to go on that night. It was not a disheartening agreeance for neither cared. All they knew was that the other loved them and that was all that matter. Their hearts were so light with exhilaration and relief that the simple fact they could lay next to each other and kiss the night away was the greatest freedom they wished to enjoy to the finest. Beside there were to be more nights, more nights to be spent exploring each other bodies, determining each other weaknesses and favorites, reenacting each other's fantasies, finding how deep and how high one voice can go - so many nights.</p><p>"And you, when did you know you love me?"</p><p>Unlike Shouyou, Atsumu could gave a definite answer. "The Marton fete - I wanted ya to happy even if ya don't want me. I won't had done that if I had not truly love ya."</p><p>"You sound so sure," Shouyou whispered. He already knew this but to have it repeated only reinforced how selfless Cesario was. How lucky he was.</p><p>Atsumu smiled softly and he leaned their foreheads together. "One of the few I'm sure of."</p><p>A soft chime sounded in the stilled room. Atsumu crooked his head to the side, and then placed a soft kiss on Shouyou's forehead.</p><p>"Happy Birthday," he whispered.</p><p>Shouyou nuzzled into Atsumu's chin. "Happy birthday to me indeed."</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>-<em>first day of the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>Atsumu had trained his body to waken at the subtle changes in the light of his surroundings. And it was for this reason he blinked opened to a dullish-gray room. He was at first confused as to where he was for his room did not held such fine looking desk nor was the window that wide or that stylish. The bed he laid on was far softer. Not to mention the heavy weight on his chest. Looking down, he found the first streak of colors in the bright red hair of Shouyou, who slept with deep breath.</p><p>To be blunt, Atsumu was uncomfortable.</p><p>He was hot for even the coolness of pre-dawn could not alleviate the fact that Shouyou was a human furnace. The side his lord laid on was numb; Atsumu was still wearing his day clothes which made movement awkward and tight. Not to mention his mouth felt numb, dry, and stale - morning breath was going to be a pain. Yet despite all this, he could not think of a happier situation he rather woke up to. Shouyou's cheek was squashed to his side, which had Atsumu wanting to bite it; his brows were relaxed as his mouth hang slightly open letting out puff of air with each intake and outtake. He could feel Shouyou's steady heart beat to the rhythm of his own and this realization had his mind more clearer and body more awake.</p><p>Disturbing this moment was the last thing he wanted to do so Atsumu was content to just lay there and watched how the slowly brightening sky highlighted Shouyou's face - bringing forth faint freckles he never knew of, a certain mark by the ear, how uneven the left brow was to the right, and just how fluffy his lord's hair was. Memories of the hours before returned and it was all Atsumu could do to not do a fist bump in the air or pinch himself. But what got him was just how natural it was for him and Shouyou to fall into bed and how easily they tease, torment, and play with each other as if their relationship hadn't really changed but just elevated. Of course, this could be the romantic in him talking but Atsumu wanted to take this easiness as a sign that what he and Shouyou had was a permanent thing. If not permanent than at least long-lasting and not a fling.</p><p>No, this was not a fling. Atsumu could see the white of the envelope on Shouyou's bedside table, by the lantern. That letter was proof that Shouyou had considered this relationship, <em>Atsumu</em>, seriously and was not in it out of boredom or want for the unpredictable. This was his insecurities talking and he very much wanted to kick it to the next country for he be damn to be his own undoing of this relationship.</p><p>Atsumu gently placed his arms around Shouyou (well, placed his right arm for his left arm was already under the man) and placed a kiss on his forehead. He took in the quiet of the dawn, the faint smell of citrus, and the muffled tapping of shoe on carpet - probably one of the kitchen girl. It was Atsumu's former job to be the first in the house to be awake to prepare the fire and kitchen for Saeko and her kitchen maids. What a different life it seems when it was only two weeks ago. But this thought had the disheartening effect of reminding him that regardless of how his and Shouyou's relationship went, they were still master and servant in the eyes of the world. It was not unusual for valets to become lovers of their masters but it was a position that would gain considerable scrutiny given Shouyou's somewhat "player" reputation among the nobilities. Regardless of how the nobility think they were untouchable, a servant gossip had ways of spreading secrets, affairs, allegations, and fanciful notions that became mixed with the truth and became the truth in the eyes of society. Shouyou was correct in his notion that the nobilities would not take kindly to Atsumu gaining his attention and love. This would had those busybodies spying and nosing on Atsumu's life - an attention he very much wished to avoid.</p><p>Was Atsumu much like his mother than he thought he was? She had not cared of her reputation when she had returned his father's courtship and had reminded by his father's side as his mistress all the while gaining the anger and hatred of the nobilities. Atsumu had always thought he understood her decision even if he disliked it. And he was so sure that he would never placed himself in such a position because he may be a romantic but he was pragmatic too. But here he was, laying by Shouyou's side the very moment he knew his lord's feelings were serious about him. Because the happiness of being by Shouyou's side outweigh the hate he would gained. Atsumu sighed as he closed his eyes. He wished he could returned back to his former state of inconsideration and lack of care of what others think - that way he would not had to think of these things. But Atsumu could not do that, not when he now knew that his actions were never isolated and would always affected other regardless of his intentions. </p><p>Sudden movement sounded and Shouyou started wiggling. Atsumu froze and he swore his heart stopped as he watched Shouyou's eyes flickered and opened. Those heavy eyes took him in, then the room, then Atsumu again before a sleepy smile appeared.</p><p>"'Morning, Cesario," Shouyou murmured. The human body really was a marvel for Atsumu would had been a melted puddle three times over by this point.</p><p>"Morning, Shouyou." Atsumu kissed his head; to which, Shouyou presented him with an another sleepy grin.</p><p>"I thought you would have left."</p><p>"Do ya want me to?"</p><p>"No, not really," - he pressed his face into Atsumu's chest- "but it felt like a dream and I think I'm still dreaming. If I let you go, this will all be over and we would go back to the way things were."</p><p>Atsumu was surprised by this admittance for he did not think that Shouyou was the type to think such a thing. His lord did things with such confidence that it was as if the world bended backward just for him. But Shouyou was a human just like him who had his moments of hesitations, insecurity, and uneasiness. It was a relief to know that Shouyou too was aware the obstacles this relationship would face and bring. Atsumu caressed Shouyou's hair and said, "like hell I wanna go back."</p><p>"Good," Shouyou looked up again - this time his eyes were more awake and more determined, "because I am not letting you go any time soon."</p><p>They stayed in that position for some time with Atsumu rubbing Shouyou's hair and back while Shouyou nuzzled and lightly pecked Atsumu's chest and neck. Both at peace with the world but not too far gone to know that reality was a few light away. Thus, when the sky lighten from dark blue to a dull gray, Atsumu, with great reluctance, sat up and strengthen himself to get back to his room before Ennoshita knocked on his door and found his room empty. Shouyou whined that Ennoshita would not tell if he told him not to but Atsumu would much prefer not to be place under the first footman's knowing gaze.</p><p>And for all his complains, Shouyou understood the need for secrecy for he wanted to keep Cesario to himself, and only himself, as long as possible. The world had no place in this; if that meant parting with Cesario for a few hours, Shouyou took it in stride.</p><p>"Wait, pause, freeze!" Shouyou exclaimed. Atsumu's hand stopped before they could start buttoning his shirt.</p><p>"What? What's wrong?"</p><p>Shouyou leaned on his hand and said, with a sultry grin, "nothing. I just want to admire this view for a moment." And his eyes slowly looked down Atsumu's body, pausing at certain points where he bit his lips or poked his tongue out. Goosebumps erupted in Atsumu's heart and he too took this moment to enjoy that view that was Shouyou leaning on his front, his shirt skewed with an open collar, his eyes heavy in want, and one of his legs peeking out of the blanket. Atsumu licked his lips at this and made sure Shouyou was aware of it.</p><p>Then, with an exaggerated bow, Atsumu blew him a kiss and left the room.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Cesario scared the Karasuno staff when he entered the servant hall with a bright "good morning" and proceed to kiss Saeko in the cheeks, hug Ennoshita, pat Tanaka and Nishnioya's backs, and give Sakusa the fresh Danish with no insult or provocation. All this was done with a small dreamy smile in place.</p><p>Daichi, Yui, and Saeko shared a three-way glance of surprise, worry, and confusion but only Saeko lack the tact to ask, "You are in a cheery mood, Cesario. Must have some good night sleep ... or news."</p><p>Cesario exclaimed happily, "it is a beautiful day."</p><p>Everyone looked at the window which showcased a dull, cloudy sky that hinted at a possibility of rain. This was a bit worrying for Daichi as rain would make traveling for the guests even more difficult and they may had to closed the windows so the garden would no longer be of use for the party. However, he hoped the clouds were simply passing by and that by noon, the sun would be well enough to show its face to the earth.</p><p>Usually the weather would the main subject of discussion during breakfast but that morning, none of the staff could keep their eyes off Cesario for longer than a minute for the man was doing the most strangest thing: helped filling tea for the maids, took part in discussion, hummed a little tune, <em>smiled</em>. Most of the stuff had wished for a friendly Cesario or at least one who was not the human incantation of a rabid hedgehog but now that they had it, all of them wished for the rude one to return for they were at lost as to how to deal with the nice one - or at least, the less ruder version. But then, it was human nature to ask for things one don't have and to be trouble by things one do have.</p><p>Later that day most of the staff decided that a good day sleep was the cause of Cesario's good mood; some speculated that it was the relief of not having been sued by Lord Saburou or punished by Mistress Hinata; other even went as far as to say Cesario's fall in the lake had given him a new appreciation for life. But every theory came to a standstill at the reminder that Cesario was being very-Cesario like yesterday so clearly something must had happened between dinner yesterday and breakfast today.  But no amount of teasing, hinting, and flat-out asking could get the infuriating man to speak (Cesario was obviously enjoying withholding this little detail going by his small, pretentious smirk. His subsequent trip over a mop and bucket was the highlight of Sakusa and Aihara's morning.)</p><p>When the bell to his lordship's room rang, Sakusa stood up to help readied Lord Shouyou for his day. Cesario also made to follow but was stopped by Daichi who wished to have him help the footmen and maids prepared the rooms for the night. Everyone was once again surprised by how easily Cesario took the order (save from a small pout that turned into a resigned sigh) and most wondered if this was a sign of a good year or an omen of bad things to come.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Kita left around eight with a promise to return at three at the earliest. His departure was to be the first in a series of events that cracked the euphoric haze that had overtaken Atsumu  since last night. But at eight o'clock, Atsumu was feeling as high as a kite that the worry from yesterday was nonexistent in him. He felt that nothing could go wrong that day. A small hint of sunlight was fighting its way through the clouds which seem to support Atsumu's assessment. This confidence was not deterred by the advice given by his former tutor to keep a sharp eye and a sensible mind of his surroundings. Atsumu gave his promise; then, really meant his promise when Kita gave him an unimpressed, piercing, ice-cold stare.</p><p>Atsumu and Shouyou did not see each for the rest of morning and most of the afternoon for Atsumu was detained to his duties as he prepared the entrance hall, dining room, library, and the ballroom for the night festivities. Uniforms were checked, manners were reminded, expectations were emphasized in addition to carrying in the chairs, checking the tables' legs, tightening the candles, unfolding the good carpet, and straightening the table cloth. It wasn't all bad as he had much fun talking with Nishinoya and Ennoshita about the party, the guest, the festival, and what they would do on their day offs ( Mistress Hinata had granted the servants a half-day off for the duration of the festival so that they could rest after weeks of work and enjoy the three days of fun and indulgence). His thought turned to Kita, Marton, and the look-alike occasionally but Atsumu was determined to think happy thoughts and was quite confident that Kita was successful in his undertaking (for when had that man ever fail?)</p><p>Shouyou was preoccupied with his family. His impossible grandmother was having issue with the way her chair faced the window then, her feet needed elevation, and oh, her tea had grown cold; really, Shouyou, your staff needed to be to talk to if this was the service they provide. His disengaging grandfather snooze for a better part of an hour after breakfast than played a game of chess with him in which Shouyou won some rounds before it became too predictable and boring. His little cousins were much more preferable; he and Lady Natsu played with them a game of tag, hide and seek, and hopscotch. The siblings also retold some of the <em>Tales</em> that had the two youngest enthralled and the parents would be seeing months of their obsession with knights and dragons.</p><p>Lunch was served on the terrace ( after the grandmother complained about it for ten whole minutes). At this point, Daichi's wish had came true for the sun had won in its battle against the clouds and wind; the gardens of Karasuno shone green and the air had that refreshing quality that could calm the most disagreeable mind. Atsumu had helped served lunch and it was all he could do to not look at his lord in the eyes for he felt doing so would disabled his filter and had him proclaiming his love again. Shouyou had much better control of his emotions and actions but even he had some difficulties not staring at his favorite too long or too lovingly. If Ennoshita observed any of this he made no mention during the servant lunch and if Daichi took note, he made no expression of disapproval - or approval- toward Atsumu. Mistress Hinata was quite preoccupied with her parents to notice the change in her son's person and Lady Natsu was quite unaware of the entire matter, lost as she was in her own world and her little cousins' need of attention.</p><p>After lunch, Atsumu took part with the Hinata siblings' chaperoning their little cousin on their exploration of Karasuno for its their third visit. During this time, Atsumu and Shouyou allowed themselves the pleasure of sharing glances, secret smiles, and chaste touches that were always too light and too quick. But they could not do more in front of Lady Natsu who was perspective enough to realize something was amiss but not well-knowledge to guess what. However, she was creative enough to invent a story - and that was the last thing either man wanted. Not that they had to worry much.</p><p> The children all loved Atsumu for the man was an unfamiliar face, talked funny, and very tall! Much taller than cousin Shouyou! (This was not appreciated by Shouyou who made an exaggerated pout that have Atsumu teasing his lord, fully supported by Lady Natsu).  It should also be noted that Atsumu had absolutely no shame in showing off his athletic abilities or strengths to a bunch of seven years old and under. All the children wanted a piggy-back ride from him and all wanted him to be their partner during the game. </p><p>But such happy times could not last forever and the second crack appeared when three o'clock came and no Kita arrived at the back door. Atsumu calmed himself by stating the possibility of delay due to the Festival. Four thirty passed with no Kita in sight and five o'clock went by so slowly that Atsumu was sure he had aged ten years more.</p><p>"Do you want to go the station?" Shouyou asked. He had noticed the change in Atsumu's countenance and a little probing had Atsumu revealing Kita's travel to Marton and his promise of return.</p><p>"Yeah," Atsumu immediately answered. The children had been taken away to get their nap before the party while Lady Natsu left with Aihara to get ready. Atsumu had followed Shouyou to his room but could not do more than looked out the window ( which gave a good view of the drive way) in agitation. "Won't be gone long - just pop in and ask around if anyone seen Feste."</p><p>"I am sure nothing bad happen to him," Shouyou said in a soothing tone, "things get a bit crazy with the festival - carriages usually get delay especially now that we are an hour away from the festival opening ceremony. "</p><p>Atsumu smiled in what he hoped to be a nonchalant manner but his lord was not fool. He squished Atsumu's cheek and told him once again to not worry; after all, Feste was not the type to get into trouble and had that man ever made a mistake that was life-threatening? Atsumu wished he could gave an honest answer, had Shouyou understood his real reason to worry but that would take up time and Atsumu really needed to <em>do</em> something.</p><p>He was never the sort of person to wait - his months of grief notwithstanding. Given the fact that he stayed put in Karasuno as Kita told him to for most of the day, Atsumu felt he had every right to leave just to see with his own eyes that Kita was alright and that nothing was wrong.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Atsumu had not walked ten steps from Karasuno gates when he made out a figure walking toward him. It was Lord Tobio. Atsumu cursed in his head. He had forgotten about him.</p><p>Before Atsumu could made a jump for the bushes, Lord Tobio looked up and saw him. His steps quicken, his face lack its usual apathy for he was biting and un-biting his lips that highlighted his nerves, his hair looked unkempt, his jacket was a bit skewed, and his eyes looked over Atsumu in anticipation and hope. Hope. Atsumu wished he had not recognized it for it only made the words he was about to say that much horrible. He also wished he did not care about Lord Tobio's feeling - Goddess, if he had not care, the next few minutes would had been the easiest thing he ever did.</p><p>"Hello, are ya here to see Lord Shouyou?" Atsumu asked hopefully.</p><p>"No, I'm here for you," Lord Tobio said, effectively stomping Atsumu's hope into the dust.</p><p>"Oh, good," Atsumu awkwardly replied. Lord Tobio nodded and looked equally awkward. They stood in tense silence in which Atsumu looked at anything that wasn't Lord Tobio's eyes, and the young lord ignored everything that was not Atsumu.</p><p>"Did you thought about what I said the other day?" Lord Tobio finally asked.</p><p><em>Nope, not really, too busy kissing your fiancé</em>, Atsumu thought. A small flicker of guilt appeared as he realized that he essentially was in a relationship with a promised man. Well, it was not like it was a bad thing as Shouyou had made it absolutely clear he was not going to got through with the engagement.</p><p>"Why did ya confess if ya were going through with yer engagement?" Atsumu asked instead. The question was out of a need for more time to craft his rejection than out of real curiosity. Lord Tobio jumped with a confused frown.</p><p>"I wasn't planning to, you kind of force my hand."</p><p>"Ya sayin' it's my fault?" Atsumu asked dryly.</p><p>"Yes." This was said so bluntly, so matter-of-fact that Lord Tobio might as well be talking about the weather.</p><p>Atsumu realized he was not surprised by the answer. Then, a sudden thought occured to him that almost had him gasping out lord. Lord Shouyou's letter, while illuminating on his lord's feelings, had also succeeded in giving Atsumu an insight into what make Lord Tobio tick, especially after he took into consideration what Lady Kaori and Kuroo had told him.</p><p><em>Lord Tobio</em> <em>was just like Lady Kaori</em>.</p><p>Both felt bound to their parents and do what was dictated because that was the way they were raised. Atsumu had spend too much time around the Hinatas that he had forgotten Shouyou was an unusual not a commonality among the nobilities. He was the lucky one. Lord Hinata was rarely present in his son's life to have any say and his death was of no consequence to Shouyou. While Mistress Hinata was close to her son, she did not controlled him unlike most Celestian parents, who saw their children as extension of themselves and their dreams. And the one time Mistress Hinata tried to impose her want on her son, Shouyou had fought back, making it absolutely clear he wanted nothing to do with the engagement.</p><p><em>I do not care about my reputation, I don't care if this court case will cast Karasuno in a bad light but can you say the same of your family</em>?</p><p>Those were the words Shouyou had said to Lord Saburou and Atsumu had no doubt then as well as now that he had meant every word. In a way, it was that selfishness of his that allowed him to say such thing so easily - to not care what was to become of his staff for his behavior, to not wonder if his actions were of any inconvenience to Atsumu despite wanting to protect him. Atsumu recognized this because he was similarlly selfish that way. Shouyou could do anything. He was not bounded by filial piety that chained his peers to the family name and manor. And although he may feel trapped within the boundaries of Karasuno, Shouyou was free because his life was his own to choose, play, and mold.</p><p>Lord Tobio did not have that - he was not free. </p><p>Atsumu remembered the first impression he had of the young lord when he saw Lord Tobio's portrait. He was a "good boy" and indeed, Lord Tobio was a good son -grandson, obedient and honest. But how could he not be? The one time he had tried to do the one thing he wanted - marry Lord Kunimi- his mother had put a stop to it in the most cruel way possible. Atsumu had no doubt that disobedience and talking back was dealt with swiftly and mercilessly by Lady Kageyama, which would explained why Lady Miwa rarely, if ever, visited her mother - only her love for her brother had her returning to Celeste yearly. And this also explained Lord Tobio's lack of care of his mother not being at the garden party. It was a sad realization and for the first time, Atsumu felt for Lord Tobio and the cage his privileged life had gifted him.</p><p>But such realization did not stop Atsumu from sighing and saying, "ya really a goody-two shoes."</p><p>The words hit a nerve as Lord Tobio's nervousness dropped and irritation took over. His blue eyes flared like ice.</p><p>"What do you mean by that?"</p><p>Atsumu discarded the question with an arrogant tilt of his shoulder. "What would ya have done if I had not 'force yer hand?'"</p><p>Lord Tobio did not say anything.</p><p>"Had ya ever thought of confessing - at least once because <em>ya</em> wanted to not because <em>someone</em> made ya to?"</p><p>Again Lord Tobio did not answer but he looked slightly uncomfortable. Then, he stomped on the ground with a growl. "None of that matter! Why are you wasting my time with these questions? Why won't you give me your answer unless-" he swallowed, -" unless you don't return my feelings..."</p><p>Atsumu closed his eyes and nodded. He was partly relieved to not be the one to say it but all the same, it was an unpleasant feeling to hear the way the despair spread in Lord Tobio's voice. He could not think of what to say to lessen the heartbreak he had installed in the young lord. But it was better this way. Better to stop the momentum before it got passed the state of no return. Lord Tobio would get over this - after all, the young lord did not knew Atsumu well enough for his affection to be deep.</p><p>"So that's it," Lord Tobio whispered. "That's all you have to say to me."</p><p>"Yeah," Atsumu muttered awkwardly. Lord Tobio looked up, his face twisted in anguish and determination that Atsumu prepared himself for a verbal brawl. Except it never came, for as quickly as lighting, the determination dispersed while the anguish took over so the energy Lord Tobio had been displaying diminished. He was trying control his emotion but he could not hide the hurt in his eyes and the tensions in his shoulders.</p><p>"Right," Lord Tobio breathed out. His voice was shaky; then, without a single glance, he turned away and muttered, "perhaps its better this way." Before Atsumu could asked him to expand, the young lord was walking back the way he came. His shoulders shook, his steps clumsy.</p><p>Atsumu watched this as the guilt grew in his heart as a bag of stone tossed into a lake. It was so ... unnatural seeing Lord Tobio like this. For the last few days, Lord Tobio always had an aura of energy and resolve surrounding him that made him a formidable person who was both intimating and alive. The lifeless version of his person as he left was so unnerving that it felt as if the world had tilted in reverse. And Atsumu was the cause of it - but instead of the pride and victorious pleasure that he would usually feel, he only felt cold and undeserving. It was one of the most uncomfortable minutes of his life and he did not want to retain it any further. But he was not foolish to to think this moment end here and here alone.</p><p>Shouyou would learned of this; there was no doubt about it for who knew and understood Lord Tobio better than him? Shouyou, himself, had admitted to it. One look, all it took was one look and the entire story would be known to him.</p><p>It then struck Atsumu that he was unsure as to how Shouyou would react to it. Yes, Shouyou had claimed he had not wanted Lord Tobio to have Atsumu but would he feel disoriented by the change in Lord Tobio as Atsumu had been? Would he felt guilty for being the indirect reason for such an expression on his friend's face? Atsumu was sure Shouyou would - however small the guilt would be- for if Atsumu was in the similar situation with Osamu, he would felt responsible of taking away the person his brother loved, regardless of it being on purpose or not because he was taking away his brother's chance of happiness.</p><p><em>I need to tell him</em>, Atsumu decided. So that Shouyou would be prepared to face Lord Tobio; so that he could helped his friend navigate the rejection. Because Atsumu could not do that, nothing he say would alleviated the pain he had given the young lord. But perhaps Shouyou would had much luck in supporting his friend.</p><p><em>Goddess</em>, <em>what a mess</em>. Atsumu huffed in frustration. He looked back at the path the young lord had came; Lord Tobio was nowhere to be seen and Atsumu hoped he got back to the Manor safety.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Atsumu had just reached the boundaries of the conservatory when he found his path obstructed again - this time by a stranger. The reason the man caught Atsumu's notice was because he was standing in the middle of the path, eyeing the burned walls of the conservatory. He wore a simple jacket and a straw hat hid most of his face. The stranger started and looked around at the sound of Atsumu's steps. He smiled.</p><p>"Hello there," he greeted. His deep voice was casual and friendly. Atsumu was immediately on guard and he made to walk pass the stranger without a single glance. The man gave off a chuckle. "My, you are rude. I suppose you are the <em>Cesario</em> everyone's talking about? Not going to talk? Even when to help a poor traveler in need of some direction? Lord Shouyou really must be crazy to hire you." Atsumu glared at him and the man beamed. "Oh, he lives! My, my, and such loyalty too. You know what, I decided I like you. Your eyes beheld a fighting spirit. Tell me young man, do you think any human beings have the right to live?"</p><p>"What?" The question was out of Atsumu's mouth before he could stop it. He stopped dead in front of the stranger, who stood a head above him.</p><p>The man nodded his head toward the conservatory. "The town talk about this, that's the beauty of a town, secrets are almost nonexistent. Anyway, they said a lord die in here. Funny, don't you think that a lord would die like that. Stabbed and then enflamed. Almost like out of a damn novel, don't you agreed?" The man gave off a big laugh that was far to jovial for the subject matter. "Some said the man deserve it, said he was too damn please of himself. Some call him the devil but do you think that justify his death?"</p><p>Now Atsumu was not a person easily intimidated or scare by other, especially strangers he met in the middle of a dirt road but there was just something about the man before, the way his tone fluctuated at certain words, the way his body seems too small to contain the wild energy present in the wiggling fingers and tapping feet, the way his eyes held a sort of hunger, a predatory gleam that was uncomfortably similar to a lion hiding in the bushes. Not to mention the fact that the stranger knew his name and determined who he was from first sight alone. It was so invasive that Atsumu felt the stranger could read his mind and unearth all his secrets. And for all the secret Atsumu held, that was the most frightening feeling to have.</p><p>But it was not just that. When the stranger had turned his head to look at the conservatory, Atsumu was struck by a sense of familiarity but for the life in him he could not pinpoint what. The stranger's straw hat hid most of his face but that profile, that side glance -</p><p>Atsumu knew him but from where?</p><p>Was this man Nohebi? No, this was not Nohebi's method - yes, the clan preferred mind-games but they mostly stuck to the shadows to do their work. This was far more direct. A vagabond? No, his clothes were too clean, too rich  to be one. His hands looked unscarred and his shoes were well care for. A cold feeling overcame Atsumu as his eyes took in the blacken wall of the dilapidated building.</p><p>"Young man," the stranger moved to place a hand on his shoulder; Atsumu smacked it and moved away with a fierce growl.</p><p>"Who the fuck are ya?"</p><p>The stranger smiled. "I'm just a simple visitor for the festival. Did I scare you? I apologize, I did not think that a person like you could be scare of little old me."</p><p>"Ya a fucking creep, that's what ya are!"</p><p>The man laughed. "Oh, you are a hoot. Sorry, sorry," the man said in a placating manner that only annoyed Atsumu more. "I am so sorry. My wife always said I come out too strong on people, that my idea of good conversation is not what others share. Here, here's my card." The business card was, of course, in Celestian <em>Toria</em> but the way it was structured indicated that the man's name, occupation, and address was given. Atsumu kept the card; the man made no objection. "I am a journalist you see. I am here to do a piece on the Summer Festival when I heard about this place. Of course, I already knew of the attack - every paper worth their salt knew of it. The fact that the attacker was never caught only make this a sensational news."</p><p>The man's tone had taken on a professional, mature air that was a complete one eighty from a second ago. His smile had lessen its vigor to that of moderation and the vibrating energy that surrounded him had lessen to a steady beat. Only the predatory gleam in the eyes reminded. He apologize again in that calmer, mature tone that did not nothing to suspense the shiver of suspicion in Atsumu. If anything, it only heightened it.</p><p>"Ya can't be here," Atsumu finally said. "Ya gotta ask for permission if ya wanna go in so ya better get back to town."</p><p>The man nodded in agreeance but Atsumu thought he looked a bit amused. Once again, annoyance shot through his heart. He was being looked down upon, there was no doubt about it. The man, for all his apologies and nicety, was not taking Atsumu seriously.</p><p>"You are going into town aren't you? Shall we go together?" The man made a sweep of  his hand much like how Lady Natsu would when she was about to reveal some important plot twist in her rendition of the <em>Tales</em>. But unlike with her, Atsumu was not charmed and he made no move. The man gave one last smile before departing with a tip of his hat. Atsumu still did not move until there was a good enough distance between them, then he followed - his eyes trained on the journalist's back. When he reached the bottom of the hill, he stood still as he tracked the man's progress through the busty crowd. Even when the man disappeared around the corner, Atsumu stayed where he was for a few more minutes. His eyes flew over the faces passing by him, before him, far from him.</p><p>But the stranger did not came back.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Ennoshita was not joking about the incoming traffic for the streets of Orion was packed. It was the Marton Fete but twice as bright, twice as loud, and twice as tight. Smells of flowers filled the air along with hay, perfume; yellow, orange, bright red streamers were passed among the people; vendors screamed their sells; young children sneaked under adult supervisions to explore; loud drums and guitar mixed with the chatters. A majority of the people wore crowns of wild flowers, ribbons flew in the air with the breeze, and some wore costume that ranged from a simple shawl to elaborate wings. </p><p>The carriage station was on the other side of the town and on a simple day, it would be a twenty minute walk but with the festival it might be forty minutes or more. Not to mention, the main street was blocked for the Sun parade that would open the festival. This had the sidewalks more packed than usual as the people saved spots to view the floats. Forgoing elbowing his way through the crowd, Atsumu turned to a street and came upon a yellow building.</p><p> This was the main location of the Johzenji Theater Company, which was well-known in the country for its playful and sometime scandalous rendition of classical plays. Atsumu had once attended a play with Lord Shouyou and Lady Natsu in which he had laughed himself silly at the ridiculous props and costumes of its actors. He was just wondering if he should just go in when Terushima, the lead actor of the Company, walked out. The actor's face brighten.</p><p>"Cesario, you rascal! Why haven't you visited?"</p><p>Terushima was a young man of energetic and childish nature that was similar to a golden retriever in need of a walk, something Atsumu found both amusing and annoying. The two men had met when Atsumu had gotten lost and mistaken Terushima for a gang member with his bright, yellow hair and piercing (for it was the first time Atsumu ever found anyone piercing metal in their mouth). Terushima, on the other hand, had thought Atsumu was a tourist who had the most atrocious fashion sense and spoke funny. They got along well despite this initial misunderstanding for Terushima lived on unpredictability and anything fun; he had found Cesario's presence in Orion met both expectations.</p><p>However, with worry over Kita's safety and the last two unexpected but unnerving meeting in mind, Atsumu was in no mood to talk. He quickly asked if Terushima knew a shortcut to the carriage station. The actor, annoyingly, did not gave a direct answer; he encouraged Atsumu to just take the normal way and enjoyed the sight. Fortunately, their (one-sided) conversation was interrupted by the appearance of Hana Misaki, the young assistant manager of the Company. She was a kind but head-strong woman who had enough patience to deal with the Terushima's short attention span but strong willed enough to not let his fool-handing go over the line. She gave a candid greeting and a direct answer to Atsumu's want of a short cut which saved Terushima from a shouting.</p><p>Atsumu quickly left with a promise to visit their play, which was to run each night of the festival. Hana's directions were most helpful and he made it to the station much quicker than he would had gone by the main road. He arrived about a quater-past five, just in time to see the carriage from Marton arrived.  People were stepping out of the crowded red carriagesand , shouts were exchange, loud exclamation of horror were given at missing suitcases and late carriages. Some passengers bore the plain, dirty suit of travel, while some held colorful masks or flower arrangement. There were tall short people, young and old, bright faces and tired stares, but no Kita. None of the faces beheld the stoic, commanding silence or the neat, simple gray jacket and black hat.</p><p>The station master did little to calm Atsumu's worry for he had not seen any person of Kita's description arrived in the past five carriages. The next carriage to arrive was at fifteen minutes past six; it was the last one for the festival would had begin at six and the roads would be so packed that anything short of flying would make travel impossible.</p><p>Atsumu cursed as he stepped out of the station and looked at the people again. Perhaps he had missed Kita and his former tutor was currently making his way through the crowd toward Karasuno House. After a minute of consideration, Atsumu decided to remain and wait for the last carriage just in case. If Kita had indeed arrived first, then one of the Karasuno staff would let him know where Atsumu was so he won't need to worry. This way, all grounds were covered.</p><p>He walked to the shops across from the station which gave him a good view of the entrance. There were fewer people here which was a great relief - the crowd was starting to make him feel a bit claustrophobic and antsy. He leaned against the wall with a heavy sigh. Troubling thoughts of Lord Tobio, the strange journalist, and Kita circled his head. Cursing himself once again, Atsumu tried to direct his mind to more optimistic thoughts of Shouyou and the party to combat the tempest brewing within. However, when staying still proved most inadequate, he took to pacing up and down the sidewalk. His eyes always on the entrance.</p><p>At four minutes to six, he returned to his original position in front of a shop. His eyes briefly flew from the station to the store window and he felt his heart plummeted to the ground - along with the feel of his hands and legs. A man's reflection stood out among the faded, shadowy figures; he was noticeable because he wasn't wearing a costume or an elaborate head dress made of flowers. He wore a simple brown suit and a cap but it was his face that froze Atsumu's insides - a snake-like expression, a pretentious smirk in placed, eyes narrowed in a sadistic glee.  It brought back memories of the Astorian court were everyone wore expensive suits, robes, gowns; the air filled with perfumes of roses, pines, and hibiscus.</p><p><em>Suguru Daishou</em>.</p><p>The man's smile widen when their eyes met. Atsumu quickly turned around but a large precession of scanty-dressed individuals with large feathers walked by and by the time they passed, Daishou was gone.</p><p>"Cesario?" A voice cut through the buzzing chatter of the road and Atsumu found two policemen in front of him. One of whom had a twisted-sort of face that was screwed in a satisfied grin while his partner's face was grim with harden eyes.</p><p>"Yeah?" Atsumu asked as his eyes surveyed his surroundings. Daishou couldn't had gone far but the invading mess of people were obstructing his view in addition to the blaring sound of the festival music, the chatter of the crowd, and the clanging of metal and wood.</p><p>Daishou saw his face. Here, he was <em>here</em>. This was bad, Atsumu needed to tell Kita, but his former tutor could still be in Marton so how was he going to find him? Especially in this crowd? Daishou was here - was the rest of Nohebi here too? Or was Daishou a scout? Goddess, was this why Kita was late? Did Nohebi found him? How long would it take for the rest of Nohebi to be told, how long before the news reach his uncle - shit! Daishou saw him. He knew Atsumu was alive. Shit, shit, <em>shit</em>!</p><p>"You're Cesario, the servant who worked at Karasuno?" The grim officer asked. The twisted one scoffed and muttered something about "being uptight" and "recognized him anywhere."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>The grim one stepped forward and took out hand-cuffs as he took Atsumu's hand. "Cesario, you're under arrest for the murder of Lord Eiji Meian. You are not obliged to say anything but whatever you do say would be head against you in court- "</p><p>"Wait, what?" Atsumu stepped back but the twisted one was by his side - blocking his way. He tried to make sense of what was happening but his mind was partly still on Daishou and Kita so he looked at the two policemen in a daze. "What the heck? I haven't murder anyone!"</p><p>"Oh, I'm not sure about that," the twisted one sneered. "We have witnesses and they described you to a T -"</p><p>"Ezaki," the grimed one hissed at his partner as his hold on Atsumu's arm tighten to an iron grip. The twisted one stopped talking but he looked at Atsumu in sadistic delight. "It'll do you more harm if you fight back. You will be provided a lawyer once we get to the station."</p><p>Atsumu, however, struggled some more and argued back.  "I'm not goin' anywhere cause I haven't killed anyone, you idiot! Lord Shyou-"</p><p>"His lordship will be informed of this arrest and if he wished to overturn it he can do so in court. Now stop fighting or you will be in even more trouble for avoiding arrest and endangering police life."</p><p>The grim one did not wait for a reply this time and with a surprising show of strength, pulled both of Atsumu's arm behind him and cuffed him. The metal was a bitter cold on his warm skin. In the distance, Atsumu heard the ringing of the bell tower and the raising howls from the crowd welcoming the Summer Festival.</p><p>
  <strong>END of PART ONE:</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Atsumu's Story</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Note: Took me five months but YESSS!!!! Part one is DONE!!!!!!! <br/>Once again, thank you so much to everyone who had been reading, commenting, and following along!! Please feel free to leave your thoughts on what you think of the story so far!<br/>The next chapter is going to be an interlude (told from Hinata's POV) and then, PART TWO begins!!! This is where the story deviated from the "Twelfth Night" storyline since the play did not go into details on Sebastian's side of the story. Thus, this is my way of giving Osamu a story as I want the twins (and Hinata and Kageyama) to have equal share of the spot light.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Interlude #1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>A Lord's Perspective</strong>
</p><p>-<em>first day of Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>Sawamura revealed to Shouyou at half past six that Cesario had yet to return from his trip to the carriage station. Shouyou was all in mind to run to the station to find out why. His mother stopped him and reminded him of the crowd and the possibility of Cesario and Feste being detained due to it. Besides he needed to get ready for his birthday party of which he was the host. Not to mention his impossible grandmother who would had found his missing presence a grieve insult as she hated for anything to be out of place- the host missing was grounds for a fit. If Cesario was not back by ten minutes past seven, he would go there himself. He did not care if he had to walk the entire way, battling the festival crowd and the parade, or that his grandmother would faint ( she was a strong person, she would survive), he was not celebrating his birthday without Cesario by his side.</p><p>A knock sounded on his door and Sakusa entered to reveal that Cesario was back. Shouyou felt as if a boulder had been lifted from his stomach and he looked to the party with much excitement.</p><p>"Tanaka and Nishinoya found him - looks like he had gotten lost again." Despite the lack of concern in Sakusa's voice, Shouyou believed his valet had been worried. After all, when he learned that Cesario was not back, Sakusa had mixed up the brushes and had to run downstairs to get the right one. For an efficient person such as his valet that was a once-in-a-lifetime mistake.</p><p>Shouyou chuckled as he buttoned his cuffs. "Celeste's puzzle, indeed. The festival made the streets even worst."</p><p>"I suppose - he looked a bit bewildered when I saw him. The idiot seems to have forgotten where everything is in this house is. I heard Aihara scolding him for trying to put one the maid's undershirt." Sakusa gave a disapproving sniff.</p><p>"Ha! Now that's an image." A very <em>interesting</em> image that Shouyou had to store for later.</p><p>"Should I fetch him so your lordship could bring him to shape?"</p><p>"No. He's serving tonight so he'll need all his focus. I will see him later when I go down."</p><p>"Of course." The side glance from Sakusa was very knowing and Shouyou ignored it. He was forever grateful that Sakusa was his valet for he was efficient, orderly, and punctual but he could be very forward in his opinions. And Shouyou had heard enough of Sakusa's views on his taste in men.</p><p>"You will be serving tonight, correct?"</p><p>"Yes,  I don't think Cesario is going to be much of a help."</p><p>"You think so? He did well at dinner."</p><p>"I also heard he almost dropped an ice bucket on Sir Oikawa's lap."</p><p>"Well, he didn't," Shouyou grinned as the memory of the near incident came to mind. He had thought he was going to choke on how much he had tried to held his laughter in. "Will you ever get along with Cesario?" Not that Shouyou wished it, one of his favorite subject to listen to was Sakusa complaining all the stupid things Cesario had said or done.</p><p>"You might as well ask if I will stop breathing, my lord."</p><p>Shouyou laughed as he placed his hands onto the dinner jacket Sakusa held up. "Why do you hate him so?"</p><p>"I don't hate him but I am not fond of him. He's too ... shifty for one thing. He say one thing and act another."</p><p>"I can't argue with that. But he is much better now, right?"</p><p>"It's not just that. He is hiding something - he is nosey on everybody's business but never talk about himself. I am sure whatever he's hiding might cause an issue for you."</p><p>Shouyou smiled, seeing right through the facade. "I am worry for him too."</p><p>Sakusa stopped short before he heavily scowled and started brushingShouyou's jacket ( and back) with a force that showed his dislike of the route Shouyou had taken his complaints.</p><p>But Shouyou understood what Sakusa meant. Cesario was an enigma from the moment he saw him on the beach. He supposed the man could be a bit scary but years of being the receiving end of Kageyama's furious glare had numbed him to the full effect of such a person. But it was not until that winter night Shouyou witnessed Cesario and Feste in the garden did he realized that there was more to the man that met the eyes. There was something amusing of the way Cesario looked at the world with a guarded expression while his mouth made no secret or lies to what he thought of it. He clearly saw himself as the top of the world and no amount of falling onto mud, mixing up letters, breaking a vase, getting lost for the tenth time, being reprimanded could toppled him of that belief.  What was there to say or react to such confidence? But six months later, Shouyou was no closer to solving who Cesario really was. In a way, it no longer mattered to him. </p><p>Getting to know Cesario was like peeling an onion - the tears were inevitable and by the Goddess, did the peel refused to come off at times that you had to put down the knife and gently find a corner to pull because getting to know Cesario was a slow, time-consuming work. Speed only quicken the moment and was rarely long-lasting. The taste at the end was worth the hours of stinging pain under the eyes because deep down, Cesario was a kind man who gave more then he received; who knew his worth and needed no one else's approval to keep it; who for all the lies he told, always kept the promises he made; and who, above all, cared for the people around him despite thinking and claiming otherwise. </p><p>And because Shouyou noticed all this, he also noticed the sadness in the man's eyes as he looked at his reflection at times - the sudden pause in his stories, the hesitant reveal of a personal fact, the disheartened look at the end of a day. Noticed the little meeting Cesario had with Feste as if it was only them on one side and the rest of the world, Shouyou, on the other. Noticed that beyond the barred-wire fence the was Cesario's mouth was a stone wall that no amount of time spend in laugher, stories shared in good humor, time spend on plays could break. At least that was what Shouyou thought so he was most surprised when Cesario had taken the step to confide in him this secret, the one thing that could break Cesario that no words or situation could.</p><p><em>His brother</em>.</p><p>Shouyou 's heart squeezed painfully at the mention of the death and for the guilt Cesario held of it. Despite Cesario's claims of his acceptance of the death, Shouyou could see that it was something he would carried within him for the rest of his life. And as much as he wanted to say it was not his fault, Shouyou could not because it felt as if he was dismissing Cesario's grief, making it seem as if it was not as serious. Beside if it was Shouyou in his place, if Natsu - Shouyou's hand clenched at the ice-cold horror of the thought - were to die, he would not stop blaming himself, would not stop the guilt from eating him with the what-if's. And for that Shouyou had decided to stand by Cesario's side just as the man had done for him so many times with no request for a return because that was how kind Cesario was - how much Cesario loved him.</p><p>It still amazed Shouyou that he could captured Cesario's attention. He knew that he was good-looking enough for people to want him, that he was charming and friendly enough to get people to care for him, and that he had the money and status to get what he want. Such qualities were ones that he both detested and used to his advantage - whether consciously or unconsciously. But he always ensure to not cross the line when it come to the people he cared about - family, friends, staff - because such people were so rare to find in this life when a majority of humanity viewed each other as commodities and tools to use. His father was one such person - <em>he</em> looked at the world as if it was his playground, his to decide the best lighting, the best ride, and the best staff. It sicken Shouyou at the possibility that he and his father were much similar; that he too could easily used people and threw them to the side as if they were trash. Or perhaps maybe Shouyou already did it with his previous lovers? No, they knew how Shouyou felt and they all voiced their acceptance of it. But what if? What if? The fact that Shouyou had unknowingly made Cesario thought he was being used to relief his boredom had been horrifying - it took everything in him not to write that in the letter because he would need to explain his father, what his father truly was, and Shouyou wanted that man to never darken Cesario's mind.</p><p>What was it about him that Cesario like? What was it in Shouyou that had inspired such devotion and love in Cesario? Shouyou did not know and when he thought of it, it made him light-headed of how  lucky he was to have Cesario in his life.  To have Cesario trust him enough to talk about his brother and his guilt. And for that Shouyou bowed in defeat and no longer tried to figure out who Cesario really was. Instead, he turned his mind into making him laughed more and lived more freely.</p><p>Besides it was hypocritical of Shouyou to expect Cesario to reveal all his secret when he himself held a greater secret - a secret that had Shouyou up at nights, staring into the fabric of his bed; a secret that had Shouyou haunting the halls of his home like a lost ghost as indecisions and decisions clouded his head; a secret that had led to the biggest fight between him and Kageyama; and the one that chained him to Karasuno. That snowy night when Shouyou first - and the only time- pitied Cesario, he was struck by a mad desire to run down the stair, flung open the door, and joined Cesario in disturbing the bare, white, ugly silence of snow. He had felt a sense of kinship in the man despite barely knowing him and had wanted to bare his secret to him, screamed it to the world so that he could be free - free from Karasuno, free from the burned remains of the consolatory, free from the guilt, the paranoia.</p><p>But years of manners had the consequence of Shouyou retaining his emotions and walking away from the window. It would be cruel of him to disturb Cesario's private grief out of a selfish need for emotional relief.  Besides, his secret was not Cesario's problem. It was not his secret to bear and Shouyou did not want to place Cesario in such a dangerous position. This was one of the worries that had Shouyou hesitating in writing his letter. He knew that when he brought Cesario into his heart, it would be a matter of time before Shouyou had to tell him. Because he did not like the idea of keeping Cesario in the dark of his past, did not like Cesario entering the relationship under the illusion that Shouyou was untainted, untroubled, and happy. But the fear of Cesario seeing him wrong was so unwanted that he blocked that worry away. Wanting to be selfish with Cesario's love, greedy in Cesario's attention. Shouyou had always knew this part of himself, he just did not realized how much of a coward he was when it come to facing it.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Jacket in place, cuff buttoned, slacks cleaned, Shouyou  walked down the grand staircase. He wondered whether it may seem out of place for he were to enter the servant hall and asked for Cesario. He wanted to see him, to see for himself that smirk and confidence stance. But perhaps it was better he did not. Shouyou should be more aware of how he act from now on to ensure that his staff did not picked up on his relationship with Cesario. It was for this reason he entered the library with the thought of finishing his letter to Takashi Utsui when he found Kageyama standing in front of one of the windows. </p><p>"Ehhh, what's with the long face, Kageyama? People are going to think I force you here!" Shouyou laughed as he poked his friend's face.</p><p>Kageyama shot him an annoyed look as he swapped the hand away but his reply lack its usually bite. This stooped any teasing Shouyou had planned for him. Closer inspection of his friend's face showed a paler countenance, rigid shoulders, and twitching eyes. Any other person looking in would believed Kageyama was angry, but Shouyou knew that he was upset - not just upset, but a bone-deep sadness that filled every joint and creases that his body was incapable of containing.</p><p>The only times Shouyou had seen such an expression was the summer Kageyama had ended his relationship with Kunimi.</p><p>"What's the matter?"</p><p>"Huh?" Kageyama snarled - at least, he tried. It came out more as a whisper.</p><p>"Come one, Kageyama, what's the matter? You look like you are ready to bite someone's head off while crying your eyes out!"</p><p>It took a better part of ten minutes to get Kageyama to start talking because getting him to admit his feelings was equivalent to pulling a tooth out without anesthetics. But Shouyou had years and years of practice pulling his friend out of his slump, getting a reaction out of him, and having him verbalized his worries.</p><p>The problem with Kageyama, in addition to his difficultites to communicate well, was his tendency to shoulder his thoughts and worries out of pure stubbornness and pride. He kept things in until it build and build and build up to a breaking point, until he could no longer kept it in and would act out in the most disastrous manner or blunt words. It was even worst when he was impatient for he became more demanding, ruthless, and narrow-minded. Most nobilities were sensitive souls who felt their very honor was being challenged by the slightest disagreement or raised voice- so it was not long before Kageyama gained the title of "King of the Court" among his schoolmates in the university. When Shouyou had first learned of this ( through a letter from Sir Oikawa) he had been most jealous because it was such an amazing thing! To have a nickname! People acknowledged him! Tsukishima was quick to destroy that by pointing out the title had less to do with Kageyama's skill in law and more to do with his impossible personality. Kageyama, himself, had send him a very long, strongly-worded letter on how exactly Shouyou was not to use it ("dumbass" was used about twenty times  - it would had been insulting if Shouyou had not heard it a hundred times before).</p><p>The point was Kageyama was doing it again - trying to keep his feelings in whether out of the hope to make it go away or to not seem like a fool for feeling such a thing. Shouyou was having none of that. He had tried to be patient and considerate - had not bugged Kageyama about his lover at the capital, or why Kageyama left so quickly for the city when he first arrived, or why he and his grandfather had argued, or why he had been in a difficult mood for most of the week or why he kept staring at Cesario. The last one had annoyed Shouyou the most and tried as he might to not let his imagination took hold, Shouyou had found it quite difficult to not act like a jealous bastard toward his friend from time to time. It always had him feeling sick in the stomach after his bout of jealousy subsided. As much as he loath to apologize to Kageyama, Shouyou tried to make amends the next time he saw his friend by keeping his temper and attitude in check. Kageyama for his part always seem ready to forget Shouyou's outburst as if they were of little consequence to him - that had annoyed Shouyou as well.</p><p>"If ... someone were to act like they care about you one day and ignore you the next, why would you say they do that?" Kageyama asked in a halty tone as if he was carefully considering each words.</p><p>"Did someone do that to you?" That got a fierce glare out of his friend. Shouyou brought his hands up in a placating manner and seriously considered the question. "Well, it's hard to say without some specifics. But some of the reasons I can think of its cause they are liars who wanted to get other people's trust or money or information. Or could be that the person change their mind-"</p><p>"Within a week?"</p><p>"It can happen - sometimes, you don't know how you really feel unless something occurs that made you confront it," Shouyou stated, letting out a small smile as a feeling of melancholy and calm overcame him for a bit. Kageyama did not reply and silence that fell between them was smothering and brimming with tension. Shouyou could feel the frustration, confusion, and agitation swirling within his friend as the grandfather clock ticked the minutes away. "So, is the "someone" your lover? The one you met at the capital?"</p><p>Kageyama did not looked at him. But his finger twitched at the word "lover" and a shuttering breath was taken in at "capital."</p><p>"So what's he like," Shouyou continued.</p><p>"Why are you so curious?"</p><p>"Who won't be!" Shouyou exclaimed. He lifted his hands in to the air. "The great, proud Kageyama is upset because someone won't look at him - who won't be curious? Besides I want to know how he put up with your perfectionist, impatient, demanding ass. They deserve a gold medal for that."</p><p>Kageyama grabbed his head and started to squeeze it - hard.</p><p>"I'm the one who had to deal with his impatient, demanding ass, you dumbass!"</p><p>"Ow, ow, ow! How would I know! You never talk about him."</p><p>Kageyama tsked and let go off him.</p><p>"Sooooo, he's not a perfectionist?"</p><p>"Hardly," Kageyama snorted. "He's very easy going. He do things at his own pace. Though, sometimes, I think he does it on purpose just to annoy me."</p><p>Oh no, Shouyou is started to like the sound of this lover. He had only meant to distract Kageyama; he had not intended for his friend to give a full speech on the man's qualities Kageyama had found annoying - and obviously endearing. But much like before, no indignation, no jealousy came to Shouyou. All he felt now was curiosity of who the person was to touch Kageyama's heart that he never could.</p><p>"And he is condescending too. He don't say it but I can feel it. Sometimes, I can't tell if he is joking or being serious because of how emotionless he is."</p><p>"In all honesty, you won't notice either way," Shouyou muttered. But Kageyama did not hear him and on he went - he clearly had a lot of grievance he wanted to air out and Shouyou wondered if he was the first person Kageyama was able to talk to without getting lectured in return. What was the lover's name again? Kageyama never mentioned it now that Shouyou thought of it.</p><p>But Shouyou was feeling quite happy for this showed that Kageyama still held deep feelings for his lover which meant that his feeling toward Cesario was not as serious. Another thing Shouyou had dreaded over his getting together with Cesario was that it might caused a splinter in his friendship with Kageyama. Shouyou may no longer be in love with Kageyama but he still care for the man he had spend most of his life with and he wanted him to be a part of his life just as much as he wanted Cesario. Greed had always been Shouyou's vice and strength. Therefore, it was a relief to know that Kageyama's heart was set elsewhere and that Shouyou had been mistaken in his observation.</p><p>"... And the other night, when I saw him -"</p><p>"Wait, he's here?"</p><p>"Yes," -hesitation clouded Kageyama's feature as he scowled even more- " I thought he followed me here but that's me being delusional. It doesn't matter now."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because he made it clear he's not interested anymore and that I am an idiot for even thinkin-" Kageyama growled and cuddled back into his shell, surrounded in his misery. Shouyou could only feel for him; he also wanted to find this lover and demanded an explanation for playing with Kageyama's heart. A heart that Shouyou had long assumed was closed off from the world ever since Kunimi but this person had succeeded in unlocking it which made it that much horrible if the lover was only toying with Kageyama.</p><p>"I will help you," Shouyou exclaimed loudly causing Kageyama to jump.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I said I will help you with this lover of yours. Maybe it's a misunderstanding or maybe he's a sick jerk! Regardless, let's get to the bottom of it. Not to mention," -Shouyou stood tall with his hands on his hip- " I have some experience in these matter of the heart; I got some advice from a match-making expert" Advise on what <em>not</em> to do when getting couples together. He could almost see Cesario's face - eyebrows raised, mouth opened in indignation- at this statement and his heart signed fondly. </p><p>Kageyama looked ready to deny the help when Sawamura arrived with a letter in hand. The lightness in Shouyou's heart stilled at the look of strained anger in Sawamura 's face. Turning quickly away from Kageyama, Shouyou took the envelope with a thank you that he hoped sounded causal and not forced.</p><p>One look at the letter had all of Shouyou's good mood smothered into ashes. His hands shook as he torn the envelope open to take out a single card that said:</p><p>
  <em>Happy Birthday</em>
</p><p>There was no signature, no additional note, nothing but those two words - two words that was written to torment, mock, and irritate. Most annoying of all, it worked. Shouyou could not stop the shake of his hand that crumpled the paper edge; he could not stop the tightening of his back muscles and lungs that had him breathing deeper and harsher.</p><p><em>Bastard! That sick bastard</em>.</p><p>Shouyou wanted to ripped the card apart, threw it onto the floor and stumped on it, threw it to the fire and watched it burned but he couldn't, not with Kageyama in the room. And so with another deep breath, Shouyou placed the card back into the envelop and placed it into his breast pocket.</p><p>"Is there any more in the mail?" Shouyou asked, his voice was calm with a slight shake at the end.</p><p>Sawamura grimly shook his head. His eyes were aligned with worry but he too could say nothing.</p><p>Shouyou nodded his head. "Good, please let Lady Hinata know I will be in the drawing room soon."</p><p>"Of course, m'lord."</p><p>With one last worrying glace, Sawamura left the room.</p><p>"Who was the letter from?" Kageyama asked. Shouyou could not stop himself from jumping at the unexpected question.</p><p>"A friend of mine who couldn't make it to the party. He wanted to wish me a happy birthday." The lie flew easily from Shouyou's lips. Kageyama raised an eyebrow and Shouyou knew he did not believed him. Not wanting to continue on this subject anymore, he turned around and loudly stated that they should get to the drawing room for the guest are arriving.</p><p>The letter burned in his breast pocket. Shouyou allowed Kageyama to walk in front of him to give himself some moment to steady himself. He was not going to let the letter bothered him because that was exactly what that bastard wanted. <em>He</em> always did this - always waited for Shouyou to be happy then, bam! A letter arrived reminding Shouyou that he was still somewhere in the world, not ready to let him go. That Shouyou would always be his toy he could control at the whim of his moods.</p><p><em>No</em>, Shouyou refused to let this man dictated his evening from a distance.</p><p>Cesario was safe and back, Kageyama was speaking to him (as normal as he can with a broken heart ); his mother and sister are safe; his friends are arriving, some of whom he hadn't seen in years; he had every reason to be happy. He was going to enjoy the heck of his birthday.</p><p>Thus, with a determined skip in his step, Shouyou entered the drawing room to the well-wishes and greeting of his family.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>PART TWO: Osamu's Story</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Chapter 12</strong>
</p><p><em>One month after the shipwreck</em>-<em>four months and thirteen days before the Summer Festival </em>-</p><p>Winter in Celeste was crueler than Astoria. Osamu learned this on his first night in the nation capital as he laid on a moth-eaten mattress, staring out the window to the full moon. The blanket Suna had given him was thick but not enough to expel the persistent cold that crept through the cracks in the floor board and under the window panels.  A month later, he was remained of this as he rubbed his stiff fingers for warmth while walking down St. Lewis street toward Shiratorizawa University.</p><p>St. Lewis was both the name of a street and the district which was known for its expensive stores and restaurants; its clients were the university students, the rich, and tourists who could not be bother to go beyond the fancy part of the city. During the day, the area was alive with carriages and people coming and going. Osamu once made a mistake of walking down the street at noon in which he had to elbow and jab this way through.</p><p>Now, in the early hours of the day, the street was deserted. It had snowed last night but only the roofs and balcony held pure, undisturbed remnants of it while the sidewalks and the street were covered by a dullish-gray slush that was disgusting to walk through. The gas lamps flickered from time to time giving the street an unnatural glow and the random dark carriages reminded Osamu of stories of how Death rode a horse-drawn carriage through cities, towns, and villages - seeking the souls of the forgotten, destitute, and sicken, those who could not afford a proper funeral.</p><p><em>That could be me one day</em>, Osamu thought and shivered as a small wind blew by him.</p><p>"Aah!" Gin, who was walking beside Osamu, gave out. "Blasted wind! When's goin' get warm?"</p><p>"Not for two more months," Suna sighed. He too was shivering and he burrowed deep into his coat like a turtle head retreating back into its shell.</p><p>"Two months of this?" Osamu repeated. His inside was crying in despair but he schooled his features to not show it.</p><p>"Three if the Spirits were feeling lazy this year," Suna added in a monotone. Gin groaned and this time, Osamu couldn't help but followed along.</p><p><em>Winter in Celesta was cruel <span class="u">and</span> long</em>.</p><p>The three men wobbled down the street toward the towering black that was the main gates of Shiratorizawa University. It was a mess of iron with intricate curves and lines that led to the circular crest of the school - a white eagle holding a scroll on one claw, a sword on the other, and a scale in its beak. <em>Law</em>, <em>Order</em>, and <em>Justice</em>.</p><p>However, instead of entering through the gates, Osamu and his party turned to their right and walked down the road until they came upon a small brick enclave that housed a wooden door; this was the servant entrance. The small path from the door led them to the outer buildings of the university grounds where the student dorms were located. This was where Osamu and Gin separated from Suna who walked toward one of the red, brick building. Suna was a floor butler and his job was to ensure that the students' needs were met whether to clear up their drunken mess, mail their letter, or bring their late night hot chocolate. He was, in his own words, an underpaid baby-sitter of grown men.</p><p>Gin had snorted at the "underpaid" part as compared to Osamu and Gin combined, Suna was very well paid. But then there was a difference between a floor butler and a groom as there was between a valet and a kitchen boy.  For a prestigious university, you would think they paid well. But alas, the care of horses was secondary to the most pressing need of young lords, ladies, and sires getting their water heated and chocolate cooled.</p><p>Osamu and Gin had to walk for a short while as the stables were located at the very back, far from the school buildings and dorms; closer to the track field and the lake where, according to Gin, students would row boats during the warmer months of spring, summer, and fall. Unlike St. Lewis street, the university grounds were still covered in snow. This made the walk very uncomfortable, cold, and unnecessarily tiring. Osamu wished he had slept the night over in the servants quarters instead of being vain and returning to his flat, which he shared with Gin and Suna, to have a bath and not have to sleep with ten men in a single room. Once again, all the money in the world and the university couldn't build a decent dorm or toilet for its staff.</p><p>But then, when Osamu had had money, he had not thought of the going-on and comfort of his servants as well. None of it had mattered to him until he joined their ranks in service for the nobility and rich -"Richie" as the university staff called the students. Funny how a new country and a change in one's position could changed a person's outlook on life. Then again, running and hiding for your life also contributed to the change.</p><p>Suddenly the world was white and Osamu's body grew numb as the snow touched the exposed skin of his neck. He had fallen down.</p><p>"Sebastian!" Gin called out as he stopped short in front of Osamu, his black boots in front of his eyes.</p><p><em>The shoes, </em>Osamu thought as he turned around and sure enough, his left boot was hanging awkwardly from his feet. The soles were coming off. Osamu swore in his head as he calculated how much money would be needed to get a new (used) boot - it won't cost much but to Osamu, who had been saving every penny that came his way, the cost was too much.</p><p>Gin shook his head, "bad luck on yer shoes. Toldja to get new ones."</p><p>"Yeah," Osamu whispered as he surveyed the damage. It wasn't so bad - maybe he won't need to buy new (used) ones. He could see parts of his socks ( now soaked from the snow) and the sole was still connected to his boots around the heel. So all he needed was some rope or cloth to tied up front and he should be able to walk until he get home. Although the thought of walking on muddy ground mixed with horse manure was not appealing.</p><p>A white string appeared in Osamu's vision. It was from Gin who had the habit of putting things into his pockets and forgetting about them till he placed his hands inside. From the looks of it, the string might had been a lace of a shoe. Grunting his thanks, Osamu tied his sole back to his boot as another wind blew passed - it almost took Osamu's hat with it and that was the last thing he wished to happen. The hat had been in the pocket of his jacket when Suna had pulled him out of the ocean; it had been twisted in Osamu's hands as he sat for his first work interview; and it remained on his head for the past month protecting his ears from the possibility of being frozen stiff and breaking off. The hat was the only thing that was truly his when he first set foot on Celestian soil and it was the last thing he wanted to lose.  </p><p><em>What a perfect start to a perfect day</em>, Osamu thought dryly as he held his hat onto his head.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>The stable was a rectangular building with the middle section jutting out. The middle, also known as the Central,  was where the stable master's office, the staff common room, task room, and supplies room were located. There was also a top floor where the grooms and stable boys slept - since it was winter, extra attention and care was needed for the horses so two grooms always slept the night over in case of emergency. The shift changed every two weeks. Next month would be Osamu and Gin's turn. On each side of the Central was a long hall that was divided into multiple, separate stalls, where the horses were kept. There was also a barn at the back of the stable where the hay was stored.</p><p>The groom assistant was already up when Osamu and Gin arrived. The bulky man gave Gin a gruff greeting which was returned with a huff as Gin let out a shiver and greatly welcomed the warmth of the stable. Osamu did not immediately took off his coat or scarf (his hat remained firmly on his head even inside) until he could feel his fingers again and his legs no longer felt like a block of ice. Another groom, whom Osamu nicknamed "Egg-head" due to the shape of the bald man's head, had appeared with an explanation that his partner was having a lay in for he had the midnight shift. The groom assistant nodded and started giving an overview of the week work load. It was actually the stable master's job to do this but none of them bothered to wake the man up for none of them wanted to be at the end of the old man's hangover, uncoordinated scolding.</p><p>"Geez, forgot they're startin' ridin' classes today!" Gin exclaimed after the groom assistant was done with his read through. "They sure on ridin' with the snow? "</p><p>"They won't be riding," the groom assistant corrected, "but the prof wanted them students to see some behind the scenes of horse care."</p><p>"So, our work's a side show today?" Egg-head snorted.</p><p>"Isn't it always?" The groom assistant muttered. The two men grinned in understanding.</p><p>Osamu yawned as the memory of his bed came to him - only ten hours to go. But most important of all, lunch. He only had toast and jam for breakfast and he was already hungry. He wondered what the cooks had up their sleeves for today. He hoped it was something hot - like soup or maybe <em>udon</em>! Hmmm, now that was a thought.</p><p>Egghead shot him a nasty look. Then, a mocking grin appeared on his face as he said, "nice shoes, you got there, <em>yer highness</em>."  The accent was crudely thrown out. It as if someone had jabbed a metal needle to the working gear of a clock, stopping its movement with a jarring screech.</p><p>Osamu looked away despite his heart beating to the rhythm of a war drum. Gin looked very insulted and glared at Egg-head. The groom assistant immediately had Egghead working on the Right Wing before shooting Osamu a warning look. Once again, Osamu did not react to this which the groom assistant took as compliance. The man repeated his instruction to Gin before sending them off to the Left Wing to clean it up.</p><p>By this time, the sky was lightening up and in an hour time, it had transcended into a pale purplish-pink as the sun ascended - though its brightness was much appreciated compared to the lantern light, the winter wind was undeterred and continued to flew against windows of the stable. Osamu liked the stable like this when it was untouched by the grooms or students, inhabited only by the horses. The silence only disturbed by the soft neighs and light shifting of hay. There was something hopeful in mornings when the sun shone so dazzling that it seem impossible to think that there were people out there wanting him dead or that he was alone in a strange city in a strange country. Osamu could almost imagine the stables back in Vega - the smell of hay mixed with manure and dirt, the sound of Atsumu's boastful laughter as the two of them race across the courtyard.</p><p>"'M gonna win this, Samu!" Atsumu had shouted. His arms flapped harshly to the side as he let out a cheer and Osamu could not have that. No way in hell was he going to let his brother had this win.</p><p>Suddenly, Osamu felt his throat tighten and heat climbed under his eyes. He quickly placed the broom against the wall and walked toward the fountain. He cupped against the cool water and splashed it over his face like the tide against the sand; taking with it the loose particles, evening out the holes, and leaving only a smooth surface behind. Osamu closed his eyes and willed the heat to disperse with another splash.</p><p>"Watch it!" A sharp voice broke Osamu's concentration. Egg-head was already walking away by the time he looked up. "Clean that up. No one's here to look after your shit, <em>yer highness</em>."</p><p>Osamu scowled. His hand twitched but he willed his body to obey his command and not his emotion. He grabbed a cloth and started wiping the floor.</p><p>The first time he heard the name, Osamu had been so shocked he could only stare at Egghead and the other grooms. He later realized that the name was more to mock his stoic nature than anything else. But his unusual reaction to the name had the grooms calling him so ever since. He won't had minded the names, he had been called far worse, if it weren't for the accent. That had grated his nerves, steeped under his skin, and crawled into his brain where he dissected every vowel and intonation until his dislike of the grooms bloomed into hate. What was more astonishing was that none of the men realized how uncomfortable it made Gin, who they considered as one of their own, over their mockery of the Astorian accent - the insinuation that there was something wrong in the way Osamu and Gin spoke; that they were different, <em>outsiders</em>.</p><p>"What ya doin'?" Gin asked. He took a seat by the fountain, his hand held a paper which the groom assistant had given him.</p><p>"Makin' sure Egghead don't crack his head."</p><p>Gin scoffed but he was too good-natured to expand on the insult. Which was a pity, Suna would had a merry time at it; it was one of the things Osamu appreciated about the floor butler.</p><p>"Ya don't need to do that, ya know? Just leave it. No one's gonna complain 'bout some water on the ground," Gin said, nodding to the cloth.</p><p>Osamu only shrugged and twisted the cloth over the drain, letting out the water. To his surprise, Gin grabbed the cloth from his hand - his face was serious and determined. It reminded Osamu of Aran in his lecturing mode - the thought had the unfortunate consequences of weighting his heart down.</p><p>"Ya gotta speak up 'bout this."</p><p>"The Pig's not gonna help me," Osamu said with distaste as he shot the stable master's office a glare.</p><p>"Not talkin' 'bout him. Talk to the manager. 'M serious," Gin added at Osamu's raised eyebrow. "Can't have them walkin' over ya like that just cause ya make some mistakes in the beginin'. Hell, everyone's a newbie when they started so dunno why they signal ya out like this."</p><p>"I don't mind."</p><p>"That's even worse! If ya don't do anythin', they're takin' it as a go ahead to bully ya more."</p><p>"I'm not afraid of extra work. Sides no need to bring the bigwigs in just cause some <em>boys</em> haven't left them diapers yet."</p><p>"Yer pride's not gonna help ya in the long haul." Gin shook his head. When Osamu did not respond, Gin finally admitted defeat and retuned his attention to the paper. But judging by the rigid set of shoulders, this subject matter was only temporary stopped.</p><p>Osamu sighed. He appreciated Gin looking out for him but he felt very coddled all the same. He was not a child who didn't know the difference between broccoli or cauliflower, or that the world was not all sunshine and roses. Of course, Osamu had pride, it was the only thing left. He lost his home, his title, his name, his wealth - pride was the only part of his former life left. And it was for this pride that Osamu refused to complain to the manager of the mistreatment and harassment. This pride that had him standing tall and looking resolutely ahead in face of the mock accents and names. He would not be made to bow to these low-life cretins. But pride was not thing only thing that propelled him to stay.</p><p>The fact of the matter was, Osamu needed this job. He feared that if he were to complain the bigwigs would viewed him as a difficult employee and fired him.  While being a groom had not been his first or even fourth choice, Osamu knew that he was lucky to even get this position. Work in the factories was long and difficult ( the stories told of the work conditions made him sick to think of) and he did not want to waste more time looking for another job. He needed this job, which had his belly filled, a roof over his head, and money in his pocket.</p><p> And Osamu needed money the most.</p><p>"Here," Gin said, holding up a paper. "Got some time 'fore we start so wanna try readin' this?" He pointed at a line at the top of the paper.</p><p>Grateful for the distraction, Osamu took the sheet. Gin had been teaching him to read Celestian <em>Toria</em> because if he wanted to leave the city he needed to be able to read some of the country's writings - or at least recognized some basic words and symbols. If it had been anyone else, Osamu would had gave up out of sheer embarrassment, shame, and self-disgust. But Gin would not have that. He was determined to see Osamu's learning though. He never made fun of any mispronunciation and was frank in his encouragement and instruction.</p><p>If Gin was part of the Astorian royal court, Osamu once noted, he would never survive for he was too honest and too honor-bound to swoop to the level of hypocrisy, self-importance, and corruption that ran through the Astorian nobility. But then if people like Gin was part of the royal court, Osamu won't even be in this situation. Such thoughts made him feel bad for looking down on Gin during the early days due to the man's lack of wealth and status. Gin was well adjusted and well-looked upon within the Astorian immigrant community while Osamu was the stranger who was still stumbling over Celestian custom without a friend in the world.</p><p>"The-umm-the." Osamu mouthed some of the syllables Suna had taught him that was associated with the symbol before picking one that he felt confident with. "Shhhh- shap-oh, <em>shape</em>! The shape of-" Osamu read excitedly. Gin nodded encouragingly, which enlightened a glowing pride and excitement within Osamu as he continued to the next word. It had seem so daunting when Osama first tried to read for the characters swam across him like a sea of lines and curves that lack any meaning or distinctions. But now, he could immediately recognize certain characters which acted like a light house beacon that illuminated the lines and curves to something understandable. Osamu felt as if anything was possible in that moment . He could do this. He could learned the language - and leave the capital.</p><p>"What's this?" A guff voice broke Osamu's concentration. He inwardly groaned as he turned to find the stable master - his quote on quote boss- standing behind him and Gin. This was an unusual sight as the stable master's main job was to drink and sleep in his office all day, every week, annually while Osamu, Gin, and the other grooms did all the work.</p><p>The stable master's half-lidded eyes flew from Osamu to the paper and to Osamu again. The man let out a chocked laugh and shook his head. "What's this about, Gin?"</p><p>Gin jumped at his name and with a nervous glance at Osamu, quickly explained.</p><p>"Oh, you're teaching him reading," the stable master gaffed as he pulled up his trousers and smoothed the two strand of hair on his head. " Don't know why you even bother. It's not like you need anything like that to push shit around, not like you are going anywhere. Here,"- he threw a bucket at Osamu- "make yourself useful and do some real work. Get water from the kitchens." With a last dismissive sniff, the stable master returned to his office. </p><p>"Sorry," Gin quickly said, his brows were tight with worry, "Didn't realize he's behind us-"</p><p>Osamu shook his head. The paper fell through his fingers as he make his way to the doorway. The excitement from a minute ago had frozen over as his stomach churned uncomfortably. "It's alright."</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>That afternoon, Osamu was on the top floor of the Central when Yuutarou Kindachi and Lord Akira Kunimi arrived. A balcony overlooked the Left Wing of which Osamu could hear Kindachi greeting Gin. That man was one of the few Richie Gin genuinely liked rather than put up with but then the two men were of similar natures. However, Osamu supposed Kindachi had the tendency to be mean toward people he disliked while Gin tolerated them in cold dislike. </p><p>From the balcony, Osamu watched the two men walked down the stable, inspecting the horses, while Lord Kunimi stood by the door. Unlike Kindachi, the lord was bundled up with a fluffy scarf that made him looked like a turtle's head peeking out of its shell - very Suna-like. He also looked like he was still asleep. Osamu wondered why he even bother coming to the stables instead of remaining in one of the common rooms of the school buildings. Oh well, not that it really matter. Osamu returned to his work, partially listening in on Kindachi and Gin's conversation.</p><p>"Woah, so this is Mikasa," Kindachi happily exclaimed.</p><p>"Yup," Gin replied, sounding like a proud father showing off his offspring's greatest work. "Just came in last week. A beauty, aien't she? Kinda tempered and moody, sometimes won't let anyone near her - well, unless it's him. <em>Him</em>, she'll happily stay still for. Kinda unfair, really."</p><p>"Who?" Kindachi asked.</p><p>"Lord Tobio."</p><p>There was a sudden crash of metal falling on metal which had the two horses nearest to the entrance agitated.</p><p>"What happened?" Osamu shouted. He returned to the balcony, leaning over to the railings to see Gin trying to calm one of the horses down. Lord Kunimi was picking up metal buckets from the floor and putting them back on the shelves.</p><p>"Sorry," Lord Kunimi stated, his voice was bored and calm despite the loud sounds, "I accidently leaned hard on the shelf with the buckets."</p><p>"Need any help?" Osamu asked.</p><p>"Nay, I'm good," Gin waved as he finally succeeded in calming his horse down.</p><p>Nonetheless, Osamu waited just in case Gin changed his mind. It was during this time he noticed the apologetic glance Kindachi was giving Lord Kunimi. The lord simply shook his head - his face was as impassive as ever.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>The cold persisted into the late afternoon and the sun had started to lost some of its luster as the clock ticked passed two. Lunch was rice, dried fish, and vegetable soup. The soup was a bit on the salty side; Osamu suspected the junior cook, Miyuki, was the one who cooked it. If it had been Izumi, the soup would had too much carrots and be on the wetter side while Shizuku tend to put pepper in everything (even if it was not part of the recipe). The fish was well fried and the first bite had Osamu aching for the hot fire pit and the smell of spice over burned fish scales. All in all it was a good, satisfying meal but it ended too soon and he now looked forward to dinner. Since he, Gin and Suna were working late hours, dinner would either be at the Kakugawa Noodles and Rice Stand on the corner of the Night Market or Niiyama Restaurant and Bar Both places were conveniently placed near Inarizaki, cheap, and excellent food - all Osamu could asked for life at the moment. Gin had been saying he wanted some noodles to wash away the day's lunch but Suna had mentioned, when he met the two of them in the kitchen hall, that he was craving more rice and some ice pops ("In this weather?" Gin asked in astonishment. Suna just gave a deadpan nod). Osamu? He wanted food in his belly so as long as dinner was within his budget, he could care less.</p><p>That being said, Osamu looked down at his left leg. The white string shone awkwardly against the black of his boots; Egghead and the other grooms had been quick to use it as a jab against him for the whole day. But he had not put much thought to them for he was more preoccupied with not tripping over random hay or puddle of water as the sole flipped awkwardly each time he lifted his leg. With a low, frustrated growl, he tapped his leg onto the stall. This was probably going to cost at least three Jen to replace, two if the seller was being generous and Osamu brought his all to his haggling skill ( which was a bit lacking compare to Gin, who was a fishmonger back in Astoria, and Suna, who could not be moved by any seller's tears, whining, stubbornness, or nice eyes). Maybe he could tried fixing he boot up himself. Too bad the one time Osamu had tried holding a needle and thread, he kept on poking his fingers.</p><p>"Oh my, what happened to that?" Lady Tachibana asked, her eyes on Osamu's leg. She and her group of friends were visiting the stables to "see how the horses were doing." However, the thing was Lady Tachibana was giving Osamu a far more thorough examination than she was giving any horses. Two of her friends were making a big scene of paying attention to the brown mare but they kept on giving them side glances and knowing smiles. One of the men, Satoshi - a redheaded tall lord - did not bother to hide his observation nor his disapproval if going by his growing scowl.</p><p>Willing himself to not shift his leg, Osamu answered, "it ripped."</p><p>"Oh no," she signed. Her eyes heavy with faux worry and overdramatic care. "Would you be well for the rest of the day?"</p><p>"Think so, been doing it since morning."</p><p>Lady Tachibana smiled.  Then, she started chatting about how her morning had been and how wonderful the snow stopped before day break - could <em>he</em> imagine <em>her</em> walking in all that snow? Oh, by the way how is Sebastian liking Celeste and the city? Osamu replied in very limited sentence and as bland as possible but he held no hope the she would take the hint and leave him be. She did not do that last time, or the time before, or the time before that.</p><p>"You really are <em>strong</em>," she purred as she leaned onto the stall; her dark hair falling over her chest. It would have been eye-catching if she wasn't wearing a winter coat and if Osamu had not been subjected to the exact same flirtation many times in the past weeks. </p><p>"I'm holdin' hay," Osamu replied dryly, tipping the bucket over to show the said item inside. Sure a bundle would be something but the amount he held was something a five year old could hold. Satoshi, no longer able to hold himself back, loudly exclaimed that "hay is nothing, you should see that time I had to hold my family carriage because one of its wheel broke off."</p><p>This had the effect of his friends asking him how and when did that happen. Satoshi thrived on the new attention, especially since Lady Tachibana was now looking at him, and he started recounting his story in the exact tone as a child presenting a new toy. Osamu could only thanked him for the distraction even though Satoshi kept giving him a smug, victorious look each time Lady Tachibana responded to his story.</p><p>In all honesty, Osamu was all for Satoshi in his quest for Lady Tachibana's love. Those two were perfect for each other for both were pretentious, arrogant, with a high sense of social superiority over their peers, and an equally high regard of their wealth over the underclass. But the difference came in execution.</p><p>Lady Tachibana had enough sense and elegance to hide her self-important nature as one of high standard and aesthetic. She was always well-dressed and stylishly cool in her way of manner that she was a symbol of envy and admiration for most of the Richies. The fact that she was a perfect and had most of the University professors under her family's pocket book did not hurt.</p><p>Lord Satoshi as the third son of a family that lived in excess and rarely in moderation. He was rougher in his manner and speech but his handsome appearance gave off a certain charm that had him welcomed to his peers' social circle. He was not intelligent in academic or social sense but he was used to getting his way with things due to his family's name and wealth; this had the unfortunate consequence of giving him an inflated sense of self and the belief that anything he set out to do was possible. For people such as him and Lady Tachibana, not getting their ways of things was unheard of for they had been fed with a golden spoon all their life; any hardship was easily slipped away by their servants and parents; and any desire was met to their liking.</p><p>Osamu had the unfortunate luck of being one of the things Lady Tachibana desired. It was obvious to him from their first meeting. Having met his share of Astorian nobilities with Lady Tachibana's mindset, he knew she would not take kindly to his rejection. In fact, he doubt his rejection was even a possibility in her mind. Nor was there any doubt that she could made Osamu's life very difficult as a sort of revenge or show of power. Thu, he did not reject her ... nor did he encourage her. He was as quiet and as dull as he could be and hoped that she would get bored of him.</p><p>Regrettably, Osamu underestimated her egotistical nature. His lack of reaction toward her - and toward anybody from the school - had made him too delectable in her eyes. He was now a challenge - what better way to enjoy  her last year at university than trying to enthrall the poor foreigner who obviously did not understood the fortune bestowed on him with her "affection." She could be the only woman in the university who could get the cold, polite, distant, handsome Sebastian to fall for her in a way that no student could.  Now what did that say about her? About her charm? Her beauty? Her distinction among her peers? And so Lady Tachibana plotted and visited. But she found her plans annoyingly invaded by one of her adamant admirers, Satoshi.  She had enjoyed his attention and many gifts in the last years but the fact remained that Satoshi was a bore who talked too much of himself and never seem to do anything original. This became even more obvious when placed side by side to Sebastian. Satoshi may be taller but he dwarfed in the cool confidence surrounding the Lysoian groom. Sebastian also had those dark eyes, which were usually hidden by his hat, that was as impenetrable as the walls of the Great City. There was something <em>new</em> about Sebastian compare to the ordinary, everyday Celestian lords whose linage could not hide their greed, laziness, and ingenuity. And Lady Tachibana, for all her wealth and privilege, was bored of her life.</p><p>As these thoughts circled Lady Tachibana's head (for she was only half-listening to Satoshi's tale), she took note of another person entering the hall; Sebastian was already talking to him and walking him down the hall. She lightly tapped her friends and crooked her head to the newcomer. Their eyes widen in surprise, confusion, and disbelief.</p><p>Lord Tobio Kageyama was bundled up from head to toe reminding Osamu of a fat crow for some reason. Thick, black winter jacket that fell to his knee, black slacks that was part of the school uniform, black shoes, a black hat and a scarf that covered his mouth. But that was not all Osamu noted. As he and the young lord walked toward Mikasa's stall, Lady Tachibana and her group kept glancing at them. Satoshi, finally realizing he had lost his audience, looked to his right to see what had beguiled them away. A dismissive, vindictive smile appeared in his face as he snarled,  "Well, well, well, look who decided to grace us with his presences. What are you doing here, <em>your royal highness</em>?"</p><p>Osamu immediately looked up, feeling the first spark of anger boiling within.  <em>Really? Satoshi too. You got to be kidding me</em>.</p><p>But Satoshi was not looking at him; he was looking Lord Tobio.  The young lord froze at the words and gave a cold glare at Satoshi; it was a miracle the idiot did not burned up from the intensity. Even so, Satoshi did flinched. He tried to covered it up by placing his hands on his hip with an arrogant lift of his head. And yet, he looked like a foolish jester when placed before Lord Tobio, who exceeded an air of kingliness in the way he commanded the attention of everyone in the room for even Lady Tachibana could not help but be perplexed at him. There was resentment and admiration; detachment and appreciation - two emotions fought within her and everyone's faces as if they were unsure as to how to make of the young lord; as if they were made aware of some inferiority within themselves at his presence. On the other hand,  Lord Tobio looked away and marched on in his usual, cool air of uncaring and stoicness. Osamu could not help but find it admirable.</p><p>He opened Mikasa's stall and greeted the horse with a low, "hello, beautiful. Look who's here."</p><p>Lord Tobio quickly entered- his unexpressive face broken with a bit of shine that tell of his joy at seeing the horse. He lightly patted Mikasa 's neck, to which horse gave off a  soft neigh and rolled her neck as a greeting. He gave out a small "hello." However, his soothing, baby talks was still lacking as Lord Tobio point-blank asked the horse how her day was as if he was talking to one of his professor. It never failed to make Osamu smile inwardly. It was such an awkward scene for such an imposing young man.</p><p>Osamu looked back to ensure that the Richies were where he left them before asking Lord Tobio why he came today. The young lord usually came in the late afternoon of Tuesday and Thursday, which was the perfect time to pay secret visit to the stable as most of the grooms were on their breaks and students were rarely around.</p><p>"I'm going on a field trip this week and it falls on the days of," - Lord Tobio gave a glance over Osamu's shoulder and through the stall columns to ensure he would not be overheard - "the lessons so I won't be coming here."</p><p>"Sure," Osamu muttered as he rubbed Mikasa's neck.</p><p>"Here" The young lord gave out a plain, white envelope. Just by touch, Osamu knew it was money. He eagerly opened it and counted fifty <em>Jens</em>. "I thought it's better to give next month's payment now since next week is the last week and all."</p><p>Osamu nodded but his insides were throwing a party at the early payment. His left leg no longer felt like it was chained to a cannon for what was three Jens now in face of fifty more? Osamu could had kissed Lord Tobio for this but that would be above his station; not to mention, unwanted. Although he did wondered what kind of face the young lord would made if he were to do that. Disgust, probably or confused anger. In the three weeks Osamu had known Lord Tobio, he had yet to see the young man with any expression that was not sullen, annoyed, or frustrated. He sometimes wondered if a frown was permanently attached the young lord's face. A childish part of Osamu, one that sounded annoyingly like Atsumu, wanted to see if he could get Lord Tobio to emote more but once again, that would be above his station ... not to mention came with a high probability of getting fired.</p><p>"Thanks," Osamu said as he pocketed the cash to the inside of his jacket.</p><p>"You obviously need it," Lord Tobio stated as he looked down at Osamu's leg.</p><p>Annoyance at the impertinence comment flashed through Osamu and he once again willed his leg not to move at the stare. Lord Tobio's shoe, a bit dirty from the walk, was well-polished and distinctly new - Osamu very much wanted to dump mud over it.</p><p>"Can't be help, can it?" Osamu muttered.</p><p>"Do you want new ones?"</p><p>"What?" Osamu could not hide his surprise ... ad disgust at the question. It was really amazing how the young lord could made Osamu go from appreciating him to finding him rude and conceited in a matter of seconds.</p><p>"Boots. Do you want new one?"</p><p>"Ya gonna buy me one or something?" This was meant to be sarcastic but the tone flew over Lord Tobio's head.</p><p>"If you want." Lord Tobio shrugged. It was this shrug that pissed Osamu off.  The insinuation that Osamu could not afford new boots; the indication that buying a pair of boots was nothing to the vast fortune that was the Kageyama's family wealth; and finally, the reminder of all Osamu had lost while Lord Tobio had all the comfort in the world. It was one thing for him to take money from the young lord as he was teaching him how to ride and care for horses but it was another to accept something Lord Tobio bought for no other reason than the fact that he could and Osamu could not. It irked him how unbothered Lord Tobio was of his comment, as if he could not see Osamu refusing him, as if it was natural for him to make such a comment. He disregarded his early admiration; Lord Tobio was an arrogant prick and if the man was not paying him, he would very well liked to kick him to the next country.</p><p>"Don't need one," Osamu barked. He stomped out of the stall and retched the gate open.</p><p>Lord Tobio looked up, his frown deep. "Are you angry?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"You sound like it."</p><p>"Yer fuckin' ear needs checkin'," the words were out of Osamu's mouth before he could help himself. The young lord's eyes widen before they lowered in anger. But before he could say something, Lady Tachibana appeared. Never beforehad Osamu wanted to scream more than that moment. His patience had drained in the past minute and he was barely keeping his emotion in check. The white envelope laid heavy in his jacket while his left leg tingled.</p><p>"Well, well, what on earth are you doing here, Kageyama," Lady Tachibana grinned. "I never knew you like horses. I distinctly remember you being very absent in all our classes."</p><p>Lord Tobio looked at Lady Tachibana for a whole minute before saying, "you are ...?"</p><p>Lady Tachibana scowled. "Lady Sara Tachibana, I have been your classmate for the past four years!"</p><p>"Always one for the team, you are," Satoshi scoffed. "Always so full of it that you barely notice any of our lowly selves."</p><p>Lord Tobio looked at him with a raised eyebrow before returning his attention to Mikasa. The dismissal obvious. It was hard to tell who looked more affronted: Satoshi or Lady Tachibana. If Osamu's pride had not been hurt, he would had found this amusing. Instead, he told Lord Tobio that he needed to leave for the stables would be closing from students' uses soon. Lord Tobio looked most unpleased as he was used to taking his time seeing Mikasa. Osamu thought unkindly that he should had stuck to his own visiting schedules. Besides, Mikasa was showing some signs of agitation of the crowd around her stall. Osamu had a vivid memory of how loud and powerful her kicks were; he did not want to face a lawsuit at one of the student getting hurt under his observation.</p><p>Gin arrived just as Osamu closed the stall and the Richies started leaving. The man was carrying a small heater in hope of combating the growing cold when he stopped short in surprise at the crowd. Osamu could only shrugged at his questioning look as he took the heater and lit it. He could not wait for his shift to be over and he could leave this Goddess-forsaken school and its flashy, privileged, over-the-top students.  </p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>
  <em>Osamu was running.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Moonlight streamed  thought the branches of the trees that sported from the ground like the blackened fingers of the dead, begging to be let out and let in. Osamu could not help, not even when they screamed in his ears because if he stopped the foxes would get him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Run, run, run," Atsumu shouted but where was he? He wasn't in front of Osamu nor was he beside him. He shouldn't be shouting anyway. Aran said that was dangerous, that they needed to be quiet until they reached the sea. Come to think of it, why was Osamu running? He wasn't supposed to be running, he... he was supposed to be in a box. Yes, that was the plan, he was suppose to be in hiding. Then why was he running?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Where was Atsumu?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The next step Osamu took had him falling, falling, falling but there was no ground to stop the momentum for darkness had surrounded him . Moonlight faded away so quickly as if someone had switch it off and Osamu had difficulty breathing.  His movement was restrictive and each intake was as if someone was pouring oil into his mouth and nostrils. He pushed forward and air! He could breathe! It was dark, thundering, and wet, wet, wet -</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Where was Atsumu? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was by him! Osamu was so sure, he grabbed him when they fell - why did they fall? Where were they? Suddenly, the world tilted and Osamu was pushed by invincible hands, forward, backward, to the side, to the other. His feet touched nothing, nor did his hand but his body was not his own to control. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tsumu -</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With a sudden crush, Osamu was under again. Darkness around him and this time, this time, he couldn't get up, couldn't break free, and he was going under, under, under -</em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Osamu gasped awake to a pounding behind his left eye and the oppressive darkness. He tried to lay still to calm himself but his skins prickled as if someone was inserting needles all over his back and any moment he would started screaming. So he pushed himself up and off his bed; groping around in the semi-darkness he found the match box and lighted the candle on his bedside-table. Then, he kneeled down next to it where the loose floorboard was located. From it, he retrieved a tin box that clattered nosily as he sat back down on his bed.</p><p>The tin box contained all of Osamu's saving - the wade of cash, now increased with the day deposit, and some coins he had found on the road side or in the halls of the university the few times he went in. Compared to two weeks ago, the fat cash was a blessing sight and usually it never failed to fill the balloon of hope within Osamu's chest. Yet, tonight, all Osamu could think of was how much he still needed to go as he finished counting the money.</p><p>With three <em>Jens</em> out, he would had about a hundred and fifty left. Osamu frowned. A hundred and fifty <em>Jen</em> would not last a week travel, much less three days with the expenses of shelter, food, and carriage fare. Osamu supposed he could always sleep on the road but that would just invited more trouble not limited to getting mugged or getting beaten. Besides, he could not travel the whole of Celeste, which was unfortunately a big country, within a week.</p><p><em>Damn it</em>, Osamu thought as he counted the money again - the action more out of routine than out of purpose. <em>Damn it all. </em></p><p>"<em>Don't know why you even bother.  It's not like you need anything like that to push shit around here, not like you are going anywhere</em>."</p><p><em>Fuck you,</em> Osamu screamed into the stable master's face. <em>Fuck you, don't act all high and mighty in front of me when ya could barely scratch yer own bloody ass without needing some assistance cause ya that fucking lazy, you fucking piece of shit, and ya get paid more than me - me who do all the work, including yer blasted job</em>!</p><p>Osamu thought he had not minded it, thought he could waved the stable master's words away with the understanding that the geezer was an ignorant toad-head who won't know one from two. But the stable master's words, the underlying tone of patronizing amusement as if he thought Osamu learning to read was an impossible and useless endeavor had hit a nerve that Osamu had refused to acknowledge until this moment when his heart was still beating to the rhyme of his nightmare.</p><p>It was not like Osamu had wanted to work in the stables. He had wanted to be a floor butler like Suna; from the way he saw it and given Suna's description of the job, to be a floor butler, one  had to have a good knowledge of social etiquette ( which Osamu did), attentive to other's needs ( which he had a lot of practice thanks to his twin), and know the difference between cravat and ascot ( he did not know this but he was a fast learner so he would get there). All in all, Osamu was sure he was perfect for the job. But the interviewer did not think so when they learned he could not read Celestian <em>Toria</em>; thus, they passed him over. Osamu understood that but what had angered him was learning that the person they hired was a snort-face man who could barely string two sentences together without sounding like he was in a horse-racing stadium than a prestigious school. Apparently, what the interviewers had found so problematic of Osamu was not only that he couldn't read and he had no reference but that he spoke with a thick Astorian accent. They were afraid the students might found him difficult to understand.</p><p><em>Difficult to understand?</em> He was still speaking <em>Toria</em> for goddess sake but no, have an accent and apparently you were speaking a different language.</p><p>
  <em>What was wrong with this stupid country?</em>
</p><p>Gin had been understanding of this as he too had recently immigrated from Astoria some eleven months ago to support his family. He had his own share of stories about finding jobs and fitting in to Celestian society that had helped Osamu came to turn with his own experience. Suna, on the other hand, was born in Celesta to Astorian parents and had went to school here ( until he dropped out at fifteen) so he spoke perfect Toria in perfect intonation and everything. It had been easier for him to gain access to Shiratorizawa University and from him, Gin got the job at the stables.</p><p>The money in Osamu's hands crumpled  as he remembered the embarrassment, the humiliation he endured as he bowed in supposed gratitude to the interviewer who referred him to the gamekeeper who then referred him to the stable master.</p><p>It did not help that the stable master was less understanding and had viewed Osamu and Gin's lack of understanding of Celestian social habits and belief as signs of them being wrong in the head. Osamu could speak three languages, write two of them, had been taught by the most stoic, logical man in existence, and had traveled the continent but apparently because he could not read Celestian <em>Toria</em> and spoke in accents - he was an uneducated fool.</p><p>And it was not just them who viewed him as such.</p><p><em>Yer Highness</em>.</p><p>Osamu knew the other grooms, apart from Kudo and Ikari, disliked him. Had known of it from the way they followed his movement as if waiting for him to make a mistake for them to feast upon and feed their self-serving assumption of him; from the sneers they threw his way behind his back; from the names they threw carelessly around him; from the way they ignored his presence during breaks and lunch. <em>Ice Prince - King of the Ice Court, get too close and you'll freeze</em>. Such words told Osamu that him being a novice was a small part of a larger reason for their dislike.</p><p>Kudo, the freckled groom who worked weekends, stated that most of them had found Osamu to be unapproachable due to his quiet, indifferent nature.</p><p>"It's just that sometimes, it is hard to see what you are thinking and it freaks them out. That's all," Kudo stated. "Not that you aren't friendly. But you don't talk much or share which makes us think you are hiding something."</p><p>"It does not help that you got this higher-than-thou air about you too," Ikari added. This interested Osamu and he asked the blonde groom to expand on it. "Well - I mean, no offense, but you don't look like - well, you don't look like Gin. I mean Gin's a fisherman's son that much is obvious but you, you have this air of wealth. Look at your hands - they are too smooth. That's no worker hand - I doubt you ever work a day in your life."</p><p>Osamu frowned. "You got all that from my hands?"</p><p>"No, it's also the way you talk and walk like- like you think we are <em>lower</em> than you."</p><p><em>That's cause you are</em>, Osamu thought. But that wasn't true, at least not anymore. He was no longer Osamu Miya, the son of his mother and father, descendent of two ancient houses, he was Sebastian, a Lysonian immigrant, a son of some nobody living at the crest of poverty. In Astoria, his name was a death warrant; in Celeste, his title was non-existent. He was a nobody - hell, he was probably on the lower social ladder than those babies.</p><p>This realization was a punch in the gut and Osamu literally had to sit down as the weight of it dragged his soul down to earth from some heaven he had unconsciously placed it upon. The servants who bring his clothes, who feed him, bath him was no longer his to command and had - he was now his own servant, and a servant to the Richies, the Celestians. What a joke ... but karmic in a way.</p><p><em>Ice Prince</em> - <em>get too close and you will be chilled out</em>, Egghead had said to a row of laughter. Osamu had not find any humor in it and the very name had turned his stomach to the point he almost threw up his lunch.</p><p><em>Ice Prince. </em><em>Yer Highness</em>.</p><p>What would his brother do if he was in Osamu's situation? Probably ignored the grooms or simply glared them into submission. Atsumu's ability to not care of what other think had always annoyed Osamu but he could not denied it was not without its benefits. And yet, Osamu could not bring himself to do the same -</p><p>Because what he really wanted to do was to grabbed Egghead's shoulders and slammed it to the nearest wall and screamed all the profanities and names he had been holding in for the last month to the asshole's face. Clawed into his skin so that he could feel a fraction of the tremor and anger Osamu buried in his chest from the moment he was taken out of the ocean and stepped on Celestian soil.</p><p><em>You think I'm spoil</em>? Osamu raged, <em>you think I'm a fucking prince when you're the one walking round like some lording when all your fucking money went to cards and the wheels, you piece of sewage trash bag</em>. Complain to the manager? No, that was too easy, Osamu did not want easy, he wanted the man to suffer, wanted him to-</p><p><em>Stop</em>! Osamu squeezed his knee as he took in a deep breath. Not good, not good, don't lost it. DON'T LOSE IT. It was just like in Astoria where the nobilities, Akihito, his father's wife, everyone pushed Osamu's buttons, pushed and pushed to get a reaction out of him. To get him to react for when he did react, they had a reason to punish him. A reason to point and say, "<em>Told you, the twins are bad news. This is why they need to be contain, locked up, ... eliminated</em>."</p><p>But these days he was finding it hard to keep his emotion in check - it was a weird state of being. He was a volcano waiting for the right spark, the right shake and when he exploded - well, it was not going to be pretty.</p><p>This must be what Atsumu felt on a daily bases. How exhausting his brother was.</p><p><em>Is</em>. Not "was." <em>IS</em>. <em>He's not dead</em>. The thought was impossible, Osamu refused to even consider it. Not until he found his body. That was why Osamu needed the money. Money to leave the capital and travel around Celeste, visiting towns and cities along the coast to see if they had more to tell of the ship wreck, if there were more survivors.</p><p>The money trembled in Osamu's hand as he took deep breathes to calm his raging heart and mind.</p><p><em>Eight seconds.</em> Count to eight as his mother had taught him to keep his emotion in check. Atsumu never learned this and was more in the habit of walking in steps.</p><p>
  <em>One, two-</em>
</p><p>It won't do for him to act rashly given all the obstacles against him.  He couldn't lose control.</p><p>
  <em>-three, four-</em>
</p><p>If he lost control, they won - who ever "they" were, be it the grooms, the Richies, the stable master, the rest of Celeste, the Astorian nobilities, his uncle.</p><p>
  <em>-five, six-</em>
</p><p>Another breath and Osamu focused on the feel of the money in his hand - the dry, crisp of the paper, the rough edges near the border, and the unmistakably stale smell.</p><p>-<em> seven-</em></p><p>He needed it, it was his life line; the one thing holding him to reality and the one thing connecting him to Atsumu - his reason for living. </p><p>
  <em>-eight. </em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>As sleep  was a lost cause and dawn was approaching, given by the light dark-purple that was the sky, Osamu got up and readied for the cold walk to the university.</p><p>"Yo," Suna said. He was sitting at the dining table, which was overfilled with papers. Near Suna was a thin, rectangular box which contained pencils, charcoals, and erasers of varying sizes. He was leaning his chair against the wall, a drawing pad in one hand while the other hand, darken in the fingers, held a black stab that was flying across the page.  Gin was nowhere to be seen as today was his day off so the lucky bastard was getting his much needed sleep.</p><p>"Yo," Osamu replied as he took a seat across from Suna. Now that he was closer, he could see that the papers were filled with dark lines, shapes, and blurs. Suna shrugged when Osamu asked if he could looked at them which was his version of "go ahead."</p><p>"These are good," Osamu said - he wanted to give some critic but none of the drawing allowed him to do so. Suna must had thought so because he gave a small smirk and a side glance before returning to the paper in front of him. "Self -taught or schooled?"</p><p>"Mostly self-taught, didn't have enough to go to school," Suna muttered.</p><p>"Shame, ya could gave those old 'masters' a run for their money."</p><p>"Flattery'll get you anywhere."</p><p>"Then, why I'm down in the dump scraping horse shit?"</p><p>"Cause, you are flattering the wrong people."</p><p>Osamu gave out a small grin as he flipped through the drawings. The subject matters were either people or the school ground but the real price were the students. They were all in different position and facial expression that made them looked less elegant or superior. One of the student was in movement of falling over a stacked of book while two had the expression of drunkenness. Being the floor butler, Suna must had seen his fair share of Richies' stupidity and unflattery moments. Osamu wondered if any of these were from real life or imagination.</p><p>One student, however, had the honor of being fully featured and well-sketched. It was Lord Tobio - he was drawn as if sitting on what seem to be a window counter; his back was to the wall while his face was angled and his eyes on the side, probably looking out the undrawn window. He wore the standard school uniform of black jacket with the school logo on his breast pocket, a tie, and gray slacks. On his lap was an open book. It looked less like a drawing and more of moment captured on paper. Osamu wondered if this was, once again, Suna's imagination or taken from real life.</p><p>"I thought you might find that interesting," Suna said, not looking up.</p><p>"Did he model for ya?"</p><p>"Nay, more from memory really. The floor I work on had a small library and he usually sit at one of the windows. In my free time I would look at the books there and see him - always in the same place, in the same exact position. Guess it was stuck in my mind the day I made the drawing. What do you think of it?" There was something suggestive in Suna's tone that Osamu chose to ignore.</p><p>"Ya draw him too handsome," he said as he slipped the drawing onto the back of the pile.</p><p>"Thought you would appreciate it," Suna said as he finally glanced up. Osamu only hummed as he leaned back against the chair, letting his hands dropped onto the table. He did not like this insinuation. When Osamu first revealed his intention on teaching Lord Tobio both Suna and Gin immediately assumed it was a different sort of lesson. Neither took him seriously when he denied this until Gin saw with his own eyes Lord Tobio arriving to the stables to find a horse he and Osamu could used for the lesson. Yet even then, Suna was of the belief that Lord Tobio wanted more out of the lesson than just simply riding lesson.</p><p>"He got money to hire an actual, professional riding instructor. Why would he want you?" Suna had asked. Osamu was not even offended because the same question had entered his mind.</p><p>The stable was a very popular site Richies used for their secret tryst as it was far from the main buildings and out of sight from the teachers. Osamu learned of this in the most inconsiderate circumstances when he walked in on two students going at it. Gin had forgotten to mentioned this because apparently to him, it was an obvious fact. It was not to Osamu who was homeschooled all his life and had never been around people his own age for longer than a hour. The only time he ever stepped on school ground was during the opening ceremony of the International Academy of Arts when he was fifteen years old. Look, Osamu understood the need to have a go with your partner from time to time but do the Richies really had to do it when he was on the clock? How was he to feed the horses when it sound like someone was blowing up a horn every five seconds?</p><p>Those poor horses having to stand through all that. No wonder they disliked Lord Tobio, who as a university student belonged to the group of their tormentors. Funny enough, he was also one of the few students who was unaware of the stable's second purpose. Osamu had to once postpone their lesson because, coincidently enough, Satoshi needed to had a go with his lover/side-interest at the time. Lord Tobio had stood frozen in shock as the mourns became progressively louder.</p><p>"It's still ridin' so yer welcome to stay and watch. Pretty sure they won't mind," Osamu said coolly as he leaned against the wooden wall as if he himself was not in a similar state of shock days ago. Lord Tobio had stomped away like an angry duckling and Osamu had to stop himself from chuckling.</p><p>"Why did the students called Lord Tobio "yer Royal Highness?" Osamu asked. </p><p>"Where did you hear that?"</p><p>"Heard them callin' him this afternoon."</p><p>"Just some name they given him about three years ago - something about his attitude, I guess."</p><p>"Ya guess?"</p><p>"Course," Suna looked up. "I don't know everything you know."</p><p>"But ya hear things."</p><p>"Why so interested?"</p><p>"'M not," Osamu muttered, feeling suddenly uncomfortable at the sharp glance. "Thought its weird. Don't like him much, do they?"</p><p>"No, they don't." A small pause then, "though, I think its more out of jealously and fear than anything else."</p><p>"Oh ho. Why? Got some temper issue, that one?" Osamu never had a raised voice out of the young lord but there had been times he felt that Lord Tobio was keeping his frustration in with great control - like today. The memory of the young lord's words soured Osamu's mood even more and the annoyance of the day washed over him quickly like the tide.</p><p>"Not too bad now. He was a bit of a mess in the first year from what I remember. Do you know he did not know my name until his second year?" Suna snorted with a shake of his head. Osamu too snorted - he could easily see this happening.  "Still, he's not as bad as the other idiots on my floor. Lord Tobio's a quiet one. Keep to himself, don't say much and not much of a party person - always had his nose to his books or in his room."</p><p>"Aah, he's yer favorite."</p><p>"Better him than the others - you know, one of them complained to the Head Butler that I was a lazy slouch just because I was one second late in answering his bell? The idiot's at fault cause he had been pulling the curtain cord instead of the bell. "</p><p>"Bastard," Osamu said in monotone.</p><p>"The worst, " Suna replied in an equal tone. "Anyway, enough about me. How have the lessons been?"</p><p>"Comin' along, helps that we finally got a horse that don't hate the sight of the young lord." One of the difficulties of teaching Lord Tobio was that none of the school horses would allowed him to pet them, much less allowed him to be near their presence. It was most annoying; while Osamu could joked about it now, back then, he had been at his wits end and was all on ending his contract with the young lord when Mikasa, the black Thoroughbred, arrived two weeks ago for the horse, despite being a bit tempered, was a sweetheart to Lord Tobio. The young lord had looked at the horse in bright wonder when it first allowed his touch on its neck. From then on, Lord Tobio had taken to caring for it - from brushing it to feeing it. If Osamu did not know better, he would say the young lord had taken ownership of the horse. Gin certainly thought so and the horse had been hence forth been known as Lord Tobio's despite being owned by the school.</p><p>"How long do you think before the stable master learn of your lessons?" Suna asked.</p><p>Osamu snorted meanly. "Knowin' that pig, never. He's always drunk out of his mind by tea time which was usually when the young lord come. Sides, even if he found out - he can't say no to a lord, can he?"</p><p>"Doesn't mean the other grooms won't notice and tell him or he the headmaster."</p><p>"Ya think the Head's gonna say 'no' to Lord Tobio?" Osamu asked.</p><p>"They are not a family you want to cross." Why did it feel like Suna was saying this more for Osamu's benefit than the headmaster's. The next words confirmed Osamu's suspicion. "Make sure Lord Tobio 's gettin' his money worth with yer lessons."</p><p>"What? Ya think he would sue me for a bad one?"</p><p>This was meant as a joke but Suna shot him a serious look and his following words sounded ominous, "like I said, the Kageyamas are not a family you want to anger and beside you know nobilities - their words are the law and they <em>always</em> get what they <em>want</em>."</p><p>Osamu had nothing to say to that. He did not appreciate the reminder of how powerless and how far he had fallen even if that was not Suna's intention. Taking his silence as agreeance, Suna leaned to his side and he grabbed a big, brown bag from the floor. He passed it to Osamu. It contained a pair of shabby black winter boots.</p><p>"My cousin's. He got a new one for the new year and was going to give it to charity so I asked for it," Suna said. He had returned to his drawing.</p><p>"How did you know?" Osamu asked as he took one boot out and inspected it.</p><p>"Gin told me. And do you really think I won't notice the bad shape of your shoe?"</p><p>Osamu grinned and gave his thanks. Suna only shrugged and muttered that it might be a bit big. But Osamu don't care. The boot could be bright pink with sparkles and he still would be glad. This was a relief to his already limited budget.  Osamu happily placed the boot back into the bag and got up to cook their breakfast. The three <em>Jens</em> were safe in his pocket and in two days he would be getting his week paycheck. That's another eighty <em>Jen</em>s. He could do this. All he needed to do was keep a clear head, keep his head down, and don't be wasteful. What was a few more weeks of being the grooms' target, the stable master's lap dog when he would never see them again in months time? What was a few more moments of being SaraTachibana's boy toy when it shielded him from the curiosity of other students? What was a few more lessons with Lord Tobio if it meant more money?</p><p><em>Money and Atsumu</em>. Osamu could not have the latter without the former and so he would endured everything and anything - be it the Richies' snobby attitudes, the stable master's condescension, the grooms' belittlement - to get both.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING: This is one of the most bleak chapter written so far so do mind the following warnings -  drunkenness, alcohol usage, bad choices made due to it, scene of violence ( it does not go into details but there are punches and dizziness),and  prostitution ( indirectly mentioned). Also please note the new tags added for PART TWO.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 13</strong>
</p><p>-<em>eleven years ago</em> -</p><p>
  <em>The Festival of Light was the biggest celebration in Astoria that commemorated the founding of the empire some thousands of years ago. Although the empire had since shrunk in size, its power, and standing in the world hierarchy made the country a force to be reckoned with. The King made sure to remind his subjects of this in his speech in the morning and later that evening among the aristocracy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The palace court yard was decorated with lanterns and candles; jasmine filled the air with steamed dumplings, fried shrimps, fresh rice, and roasting pork. But food was little consolation to Osamu for the night he was enduring.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He stood at the far end of the courtyard  where he was least likely to be seen and where he had a good view of the full folly of his fellow party-goers. The nobilities were dressed in bright, intricate robes; their bodies shone under the candle light due to the many gems and gold. They laughed, sang, and talked with one another. Their voices beautiful rhythm against the string instruments being played by the court musicians. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu watched as Lady Something of Something complimented her friends on their dress while slyly pointing out her own dress and how "difficult it was to acquire it from the Southern Islands because of the taxes and such." The friends returned compliments all the while uplifting their own jewelry, spouse, children, status, and money. He heard The General gloating of his recent kill of a certain tiger despite Osamu being sure that such a kill was illegal in said area but  since the man was a Famous General it couldn't be help. Such fame needed an outlet apparently. Osamu  rolled his eyes and finished his drink with the thought that it was indeed possible to die of boredom. Nothing he heard was new, nothing he seen was interesting. The first few hours had been alright as he and Atsumu made scanting remarks at each and every nobility that walked past but as the night dragged on and people became unbearably predictable and dull, Osamu was starting to wish he could leave. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It wasn't always like this - or more accurately, Osamu did not remembered the Festival of Light being like this. As a child, he would run around the courtyard with Atsumu and Mika ( chased by Aran, who was always hissing at them to be careful). They would played with the sparkles, sneak food off the table, and played hide and seek among the tables and bushes. But now, at thirteen, Osamu was more aware of the stares he and Atsumu received, how certain people would glanced at them then mumbled to each other - all the while their eyes reminding on the twins. How a majority would moved out of the twins' way as if afraid they might get contaminated by the same, unseen sickness that made the Miya family a social embarrassment. How the children of said nobility would not bothered to hide the insults they heard their parents whispered-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Unable to help himself, Osamu looked across the courtyard toward the red patio where sat his father's wife. As always, she was with her entourage of ladies - their laughter broke through the air from time to time. The woman was a picture of decorum, elegance, and pleasantry. Was it any wonder the aristocracy felt for her and despises the mistress. Osamu doubt any of them knew the woman for what she really was - a sadistic, power-hungry, backstabbing bitch who had no qualm sending death threats and assassins after her husband's bastard children. Her son was no different. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And speak of the devil, here came the son, himself . Akihito.  His half-brother, fashionably dressed in red and gold with a glass in hand,  greeted Osamu with a jovial arm around his shoulder. Such an action was so out of place that Osamu was momentarily lost atwords. But while the other guest saw this scene as half-brothers getting along, Osamu could only viewed the arm on his shoulder as a threat. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was a good thing Atsumu was not here. Although neither twins like their half-brother, the first born had been more forthcoming of his hatred and Akihito returned it in kind. The two was never in each other presences without an insult passed in between. With any luck, whatever fancy that was currently occupying Atsumu would kept him engaged long enough until Akihito left. It won't do for the party to end with Atsumu getting into a first fight - again. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Bet ya never got to eat these things in that shack of yer," Akihito laughed. Osamu looked away and caught one of the ladies quickly glancing away as well. She was one of Akihito's friend - in fact the group of people she was with were all Akihito's friends. At once, Osamu realized he was being set up; the little insults were nothing more than to piss him off so that he would act out and embarrassed himself in front of everyone. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Abruptly, Akihito let go of Osamu's shoulder and grabbed his hand. There was a sharp pressure as he twisted the hand against the wrist. Osamu clenched his teeth to not let out a gasp. Akihito smiled, his canine looking sharper than usual. He loosen his hold and twisted the hand in an awkward angle but still Osamu made no sign of discomfort.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ya know," Akihito whispered, leaning in close as he placed his right hand on the table; his left hand gave Osamu's arm another twist. "Ya some really lucky bastard. Gettin' to stand here, eatin' our food, wearin' those jewel, traveiln' around as if ya some prince when ya not and never will be." Another twist that could be felt throughout the entire arm and back; there was a high chance that some muscles might get fractured. "Ya nothing but a waste of space; a pathetic parasite that's only good for a good lay - Ha, why look surprise?" Akihito grinned cruelly. "Ya innocent act don't work on me. A mother for a whore, her son's no better -"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was a sudden bang and Akihito let go of Osamu with a howl. A knife gleamed on the table where Akihito's hand was just a second ago. Atsumu was holding the knife as he glared at his half-brother. Osamu's heart thumped as the blood roaring in his ear subsided. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ya sick bastard," Akihito growled as he held his right hand. "That almost slash my hand!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"My bad. Next time I won't miss," Atsumu growled back.  His face was screwed in fury that his eyes rivaled the burning lantern. The people nearest to the table stopped their pretense of a conversation and were looking at Atsumu and Akihito in amusement and vindictive curiosity. Some of Akihito's friends were smirking into their sleeves. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come on, Tsumu, let's go," Osamu quickly injected before Atsumu could say anything else. But he was ignored. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Whatcha tryin' to break Samu's arm for?" Atsumu demanded. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I have no idea what ya mean. Can't I say hello to my brother?" Akihito coolly replied. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Horse shit, I saw ya holdin' him. Right, Samu?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't matter," Osamu quietly muttered. Atsumu finally looked at him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What the heck? Samu, don't lie . I saw him hurtin' ya!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, clearly ya need both yer eyes and ears check, brother dear," Akihito said. "I would never hurt Osamu. Unlike ya."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu made to hit Akihito but Osamu grabbed his hand and pulled him away - or he tried to but Atsumu was being annoyingly stubborn tonight. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Seriously, drop it," Osamu insisted but his twin kept on determining that Osamu revealed the harassment. It was as if the musician had taken a break for Atsumu's voice carried over the wide space that it would be of no surprise if the whole of Vega heard him.  But the more Osamu insisted on his brother to be silence, the more agitated Atsumu became. Then, to Osamu's horror, Atsumu picked up the knife with his other hand and turned it toward at Akihito. Their half-brother's genial smile loosen to a surprised frown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm warnin' ya, stop tormenting Samu. Next time ya do this, I'm gonna stick this up yer arse."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Tsumu, don't be stupid! Let that go 'fore ya hit someone!" Osamu grabbed for the knife but the sudden action and exclamation caused Atsumu to lose his footing and the two brother toppled to the side. A waiter was passing by at the same time and the next thing Osamu knew, he was kneeling on the ground, covered from head to toe in some sticky, yellow liquid. Atsumu, too, was covered in the same substance. The knife gleamed beside him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu's face burned as the laughter of the crowd filled the courtyard - it was as if the hundred of guests had multiplied to a thousand. Their faces blurred into dark shapes as their teeth gleamed under the light of the lantern as they sniggered, hooted, and chuckled. Akihito's friends were no longer hiding their amusement; two of them were leaning against each other in hysteria while the ring leader towered over the twins with a smirk in place. He patronizingly shook his head and turned toward his mother, who was leaning against the balcony in bored delight. Osamu could not bear it and looked at the ground in hope that it would come alive and swallowed him so that he need not hear this mockery, so that he did not have to endure this anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Toldja the pineapple's horrible," Atsumu sighed as he shook his sleeve. He did this in such a nonchalant manner as if the laughter around them was as nonexistent as the wind. As if they were not in a courtyard surrounded by the powerful and rich of Astoria. As if it was like any other day. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu had wanted nothing more than to punch him in the face.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>***** ***** *****</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Back in the privacy of their manor, Osamu did just that. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What the heck!" Atsumu shouted, rubbing his side in annoyance. "Whatcha do that for?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ya idiot! Are ya drunk - threatening Akihito like that? Didja wanna be flog again?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu gave a great, big snort. "That's what ya angry 'bout?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What else should I be angry 'bout?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Jeez, I dunno, how 'bout the fact the bastard was tryin' break yer arm!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He didn't break it -"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He wanted to, ya dimwit."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It don't matter! Idiot."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ya the idiot."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, ya the idiot, a big, dumb idiot. Yer head got no brain so ya fell right into his trap. He did that on purpose, he wanted me to get angry and that's why he was being all nicey-nicey so that he look like the innocent. And now, thanks to ya, that's what it looks like. People are gonna see him as the victim and ya as the wrong one."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu groaned loudly as he slapped his hands over his face. Pineapple filled his nostrils for he was still wearing the destroyed robes. The twins were in their rooms to get change but neither of them made a move for the closet as the high of what occurred was still in their system. Atsumu was pacing while Osamu was tapping his foot against the floor. The servants, having long learned the twins' many moods, had made no move to enter the room with them and had gone to find Lady Miya - a storm was brewing; none of them wanted to be in the carnage. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So? <span class="u">So</span>?" Osamu repeated. "Atsumu, this is why they hate ya, this is why they won't leave us alone! It's cause ya keep on acting out. Ya say stupid shit that insulted them and that made them think ya hate them and that ya don't deserve to live here which is why they're tryin' to kick us out."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu laughed cruelly. "Samu, they want us kick out not because of me but because they want it. Trust me, I got nothin' to do with it. They just lookin' for excuses cause killin' us was too much work." He folded his arms. "Which is why I don't like them. I mean come on, they try to kill us and ya want me to not say anything to them? Ya want me to be nice to them? Bullshit."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Better nice than dead."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I rather be dead than be nice to a bunch of pathetic loser who don't know a dip shit 'bout anythin'. Look at them lording 'round like they're some gods. And its people like ya who made them like this. Bowing and agreeing to everything they said. Course they're gonna think they get away with things, people let them. Well, I'm not that. I'm not gonna let them think they can get away with making our life hell."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's only hell cause of ya."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So it's my fault? Ya rather I be some doormat?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"At least they won't see ya as a threat."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Wake up, Samu, we are a threat regardless of what we do. Being compliant or nice is not gonna change that or the fact that they want us dead."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ya don't know that, ya never try."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Cause I'm not stupid."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, ya just too dumb and stubborn to admit yer wrong and I'm right."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Right about what? Being a doormat cause that's what ya are."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So ya rather I go 'round swearing at everything and everyone cause I can."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Bet ya won't have that stick up yer arse if ya did."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu hit him again and this time, Atsumu retailed. They rolled around the floor, hitting the life out of the other not just in anger of that noght but for all the other nights and days in which Osamu had to take the blunt of the punishment or insults because his twin could not keep his stupid, fat mouth shut. Whose fault was it that Osamu's hands got flogged? Whose fault was it that Osamu was thrown mud at? Atsumu, everything was Atsumu's fault because his brother got a big ego and thought he was a god among human. Because he thought that he was untouchable and that he would live to see another day. Stupid fool, he did not know what it was like, seeing the poison took effect and watching his brother stumbled onto the ground, holding his stomach in pain. Atsumu did not know what it was like to not be allowed to see him and spend four nights alone, worried that he would never see his brother again. He had not seen their mother cried because she blamed herself for what happened, for bringing them to this life. Atsumu knew none of this because he didn't care. He was just that selfish. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Stupid, selfish bastard-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"-busy-body, goody-goody-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"- ya don't care 'bout mother-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"-ya don't care 'bout yerself-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"-always fightin'-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"-always apologizin'-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"- why can't ya be nice?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"-why can't ya fight back?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Each word predated and sounded after a punch or a kick. Osamu was heavier and stronger of the two but Atsumu was nastier and not above biting. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Boys! Boys! Let go right now!" Their mother's voice rang over them and suddenly, Osamu was being pulled away by strong arms. Atsumu was breathing heavily as their mother held his shoulders. Her eyes flashed angrily as she took in the disheveled appearances of her sons - from Osamu's tussled hair to Atsumu's reddening marks. "What's the meanin' of this? Is it 'bout what happen with Akihito?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Both Osamu and Atsumu started shouting their explanations while pointing at the other.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's his fault, it's cause Atsumu don't know when to shut up-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Samu was gettin' hurt by Akihito but he won't say anything-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's cause it was nothin'."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, it's not, ya bastard! ("Atsumu!" their mother gasped warningly but Atsumu ignored her and persisted on) Ya not some hero in some fuckin' story. Grow up."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Big talk from a big baby - ya can't even take responsibility for yer actions!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I did nothin' wrong."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's the problem, ya always think ya in the right!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's cause I am. But at least I'm not a coward."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Okay, okay." their mother shouted, "I can see that you both got some things to lay out so how about we -"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But Osamu was done listening. The events of the night - the laughter, the smirks, the ridicule, and Atsumu, standing among them, untouched by it all - came back to him and out came the words that had no truth in its bases and was more out of the need to hurt, to topple his brother from his high mountain- </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I hate ya, ya worthless piece of garbage! I wish ya weren't my brother." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Their mother stopped short at the outburst, but it was not her reaction Osamu cared for. Atsumu's eyes had widen and his mouth slackened as the full meaning of the words came to him. To Osamu's childish vindictive self, such a sight was the most amazing thing to beheld. And it could not stop there, he wanted Atsumu to be hurt just as he was. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I wish ya were dead."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Osamu," their mother gasped. Osamu made no reply as he shook the hands holding him off his shoulder and ran out of the room. He ignored his mother's shout and relived the memories of Atsumu's face at his words. Good, good, he should suffer, he should know that there would always, always, be consequences to his actions. Atsumu was no god and it was Osamu's job to remind him of that. But even then, a small seed had been planted; Osamu could not help but wondered what his life would be like without Atsumu and after ten steps, he concluded that it would had been much better.  </em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>-<em>four months and eight days before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>Bennett Hall, the dorm of which Suna was the floor butler, was in uproar for a student had lost a certain item of considerable importance and was accusing his roommate of theft. Said roommate blame the servant of it. Thus, when Osamu arrived at nine o'clock, as it was a custom of him and Suna to walk home together whenever either of them worked late hours, it was to find Suna in bad temper. Not that the floor butler showed it but it was obvious in his tensed shoulder and rough speech.</p><p>"I'm not allow to go till they find the blasted thing," Suna signed. "It might take hours so you better start home."</p><p>"Nay, I can wait. Ya really think it would take that long?"</p><p>"Who knows. Though I won't be surprise if it's in his room the entire time. These damn Richies-" Suna shook his head. The two men agreed to meet again half an hour later; if the item was still lost, Osamu would walked home alone and Suna would spend the night at the servant quarter.</p><p>Not wanting to get rope in to the search, Osamu did not wait inside the servant commons of Bennett Hall and chance upon the harsh cold night toward the dining hall, which was connected to the school building on the other side of campus. He did not find the walk an inconvenience as the snow from a few days ago had melted. However, there had been talk of snow tonight or the next day for it had been chilly at best and windy at worst. The lake had a thin layer of ice that another drop in temperature would had it converted into a thick surface hard enough to walk or skate across. Despite it being nine, it felt like midnight over how dark the sky was. The wind had blown out most of the lamps so the dorm buildings glowed in a pale yellow.</p><p>As it was a school night, most of the dorm windows were lighted in a glow. Those on the ground floor allowed Osamu some glances of the occupant and content of the rooms - wooden wardrobes, a hunched back over the desk, hanging tapestries, and moving shadows. The windows that were darkened and covered either meant the students had taken their studies to the library or at some bar drinking themselves silly.</p><p>According to Suna there were two types of Richies: those who took their studies seriously and those who did not because they simply could. Osamu wondered what kind of student he might be. He liked to think he would be studious but he was self-aware enough to know that sitting down for a lecture with thirty odd people or stuck in a cubicle surrounded by books was enough to bored him out of his skull. Boredom came easily to Osamu when it come to school subject and it was one of the many reason his tutors found him a difficult student to teach - the other being that he and Atsumu could not help but be little assholes at their own devices. And loath as he admit it, Atsumu was a smidge (just a smidge) academically better; it was just that his twin did not have the motivation to try hard on subjects he found boring or dislike. Kita was the only one who had ever made the twins interested in the lesson. That was because the man was as unmoving as the mountain and did not easily fell into the twins' taunts or traps. And yes, Osamu was scared of the man's logical and direct nature - anyone with any self-worth would be. </p><p>The thought of his former tutor weighted heavily on his heart. Kita was on the ship with them and he was missing too. Where was he now? Kita was too smart to die so he must be in the country somewhere. No doubt he was keeping his head down as Osamu was; or perhaps he had made it to their destination thinking Osamu and Atsumu would go there. Wherever he was Osamu hoped he was safe and that they would meet again.</p><p>They have to.</p><p>White puff of smoke appeared with every outtake of breath as Osamu reached the back door of the dining hall which was opened. Taking a peek inside, Osamu say that the staff were already cleaning the stoves, tables, and sink. Izuimi and Shizuku were nowhere to be seen, it was probably their day off so chances of getting any leftovers from dinner were zero. One of the kitchen boy saw Osamu and shoot him a questioning look which he took as a signal to leave.</p><p>Now a bit lost on what to do with his half hour, he decided to take a walk around the school buildings. He had once passed by them when he first arrived for the job interview and had since only saw them at a distance.</p><p>The buildings were a cluster of three stories, stone structures. The biggest of them was the main complex which held a clock tower that rang every day at noon on the dot - now in the dark, Osamu could barely made out the numerals or the hour hand. The main complex also contained a large quadrangle that housed several statues and memorial of Celestian nobilities that held the school as their alma mater. The windows were dark and shuttered so he had no hope of seeing the inside but he doubt there would be much to see apart from tables and chairs.</p><p>Back when Celeste was under the Astorian Empire, the main complex served as the residence for the Astorian royal family whenever they felt the need to visit the colony. Following the rebellion, the palace was converted into a prison for diplomatic figures and royalty before becoming a government house where the first constitution was crafted until it was obtained by the Washijou family to which the doors opened to admit its first students.</p><p>In the early years, it was an unwritten rule among the nobilities that their children who were cheated out of their title or wealth by not being born first would do well to be send to university so that they may made something out of themselves - and hopefully lose the follies and spoils of youth. While a small percentage learned responsibilities, a wider world view, and deeper understanding of human nature, a large percentage went on to return to their country manor more in debt and more convinced of their social and material superiority. The grandmother of the current headmaster put a stop to that; it was due to her ingenuity and ferocity did the school obtained its name as one of the leading educational institution in the world for the number of diplomats, politicians, and lawyers it nurtured. Class standing simply got added to the student's accomplishment along with their status and wealth. Therefore, the school was a battleground among the students who wished to be acknowledged of their own skill and worth, in addition to being a training ground for those on how to best utilized their charisma, wealth, name, and knowledge.</p><p>The irony that he went from living at the outskirt of one palace to another was not lost on Osamu. In fact, he had a good laugh to himself after Gin finished recounting the school history.</p><p>Suddenly, there was a loud crash of stone falling on stone. Osamu jumped and turned toward the archway that led to the quadrangle, where he was sure the sound came from. His guess was supported by an exclamation followed by a series of hashes and hisses that no wind could replicate. After seeing there was no one around and curious as to what occurred, Osamu crept into the archway.</p><p>Some of the streetlamp were still burning which allowed Osamu to distinguish the statues from the benches and the living from the not. A group of darkly dressed individuals were crowding over something at the center of the courtyard.  The most eye-catching was one person - a lord with bright red hair, Satoshi. He was standing over a white object on the ground that seem to be a head - no doubt belonging to the body that stood on the pedestal. Yet, Satoshi did not seem too bothered by the destruction for he let out a laugh.</p><p>"Ha, now you done it!"</p><p>Someone stumbled over to the pedestal and tried to bend against it but miscalculated, ending up on the ground.</p><p>"Not my fault. Dai bump into me," the guy slurred.</p><p>"Hey!"</p><p>A round of laughter followed as Satoshi made to kick the head ("Bet the old fart'll love this") with more stumbling and whooping. There was a faint smell of alcohol in the air. Osamu had no doubt as to where Satoshi and his friends came back from. He shook his head scornfully. Drunkenness, property damage ... and on a school night too! Certainly the best of the best this country had to offer. It was no wonder Lord Tobio separated himself with this group but then Osamu always thought the young lord had a good head on his shoulder - even if he could be very rude and prideful.</p><p>Osamu made to leave but his next step was on a loose stone which made a tremendous crack across the festive air that the laughter stopped short. All of the Richies' head swiveled toward him. For one wild moment, Osamu was reminded of a group of hounds rounding toward a prey. The good humor had dispersed as surprise, confusion, and dread filled in the Richies' countenance.</p><p>"Shit, scatter!" And they were off toward the archway on the other side of the quadrangle. All but Satoshi who stood behind for a second to gave Osamu a look that was more speculative than trepidations. This slow movement put Osamu off for it was against the hot-headed nature of the red lord. Finally, the man turned around and ran - his movement as unsteady as his friends - leaving behind the broken statue, its crack gleaming due to the nearby street lamp.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>The missing object was indeed in the student's room, specifically it had fallen between the bed mattress and the wall. Suna was the one who found it as he realized that while the student had searched under and above the bed, he never looked to the side. Thus, when Osamu arrived back to Bennett Hall, Suna was already in his coat and scarf.</p><p>"Glorified babysitter indeed," Suna signed. Osamu could only patted his shoulder in understanding.</p><p>"Good thing ya got 'morrow off," Osamu said.</p><p>"Ah yes, instead of babysitting man-children I will be babysitting my drunk uncles and aunts while ensuring my cousin don't blow something out."</p><p>"Or ya could just sneak off and go with Gin."</p><p>Suna sniffed. Easy silence fell between them as they passed the servant entrance and made their way down St. Lewis street. They passed two bridges where the cool façade of buildings turned to narrower and darker shade that was common in this part of the city.  They were near the port that the smell of the sea could be distinguishable among the smog and ashes of the factories down the river. Small immigrant communities occupied these street, the biggest of which was the Astorian which settled around an apartment complex that was known as Inarizaki by its occupants.</p><p>The street were more crooked and crowded as people left bars or entered. Some drunkards were leaning on the edge of alleys or on the steps until the landlords shooed them away. A couple of people stood around corners, talking and laughing but observing all the same. It was unsafe to walk this part of the city at night, which was why Osamu, Suna, and Gin made to walk together as much as possible - to and from work. Tomorrow, however, it would be Osamu alone to travel this route as both Suna and Gin had asked for the day off.</p><p>"Still planning not to come?" Suna suddenly asked. However, rather than the asking, it was the subject that surprised Osamu for he thought he had said enough about it.</p><p>Tomorrow was the Festival of Light; apparently the Astorian were not going to let being in a different country stopped them from celebrating it. The street in front of Inarizaki was to be blocked off for the festival. It had already been decorated with lanterns and streamers. Some of the families were cooking up a feast for the whole of the Astorian community was to descend on it. Osamu had wondered on the possibilities of the law enforcement and muggers coming upon this scene to which neither Suna and Gin seem too bothered by.</p><p>"They are getting free food and drinks out of this - only an idiot would stop such a party," Suna stated and Osamu did not asked anymore.</p><p>"Ya'll see if for yerself then," Gin added. To which Osamu admitted he was not attending the festival. Neither men seem too surprise but Gin did tried to make him change his mind by stating it was good to take a break and mingle with others for when would Osamu ever get the change to know the other Astorians. This was the main reason why Osamu did not want to attend for being around Astorians meant a higher possibility of someone recognizing him even if the chances were one to a hundred. But that one might be enough for his secret to be spill so Osamu rather be safe than sorry. Besides, he didn't mind not attending. He didn't have any good memories of the festival and the fact that this would be his first one without Atsumu did not sit well with him. He doubt he would enjoy any of the food without his brother by his side. Besides, he was not here to make friends so it was not like he was losing much by not attending. Better to make more money on the extra time.  </p><p>Of course, he did not articulate any of this to his roommates but had been strong in his insistence of not going and both men had seem to drop the subject all together since last week. As such, it was surprising Suna would start it again.</p><p>"Yup," Osamu answered. He made no move to explain and Suna did not asked for doing so would mean getting involve. If there was one thing Osamu could depend on when it come to the floor butler was his dislike of becoming part of shenanigans he found troublesome or too much work. And yet, contradictory, Suna was the first to know of any scandals or gossip because he also had a nosy side. It was frustrating some tomes especially when the man teased Osamu by making sarcastic or insinuating remarks that was less of finding answer and more of getting a reaction out of him.</p><p>"Did Gin made ya ask me?" It occured to Osamu that if Suna was the least likely to get involve, Gin was the most likely but more out of care than nosiness.</p><p>Suna allowed a small smile to grace his face.</p><p>"Wish he stop, he treat me like a child sometime." Osamu had not meant to say this out loud but it had been bothering him for a while.</p><p>"Can you blame him when you could barely tell a swindler apart from a genuine seller or almost burn the kitchen down trying to boil water when you first arrive?" Sun ignored the side glare Osamu gave him at these reminder. "Gin is a good guy. Is it so bad for someone to care about you?"</p><p>Osamu did not answer for he did not know how to without sounding like a ten year old. But the silence seem to placated Suna. Nothing else was said between the two as they arrived on the front steps of Inarizaki.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>-<em>four months and seven days before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>It was near the end of his shift around five when Osamu was called to the manager's office. Egghead and the stable master were already there. The sight of these two together in the same enclosed space sparked Osamu's flight or fight instinct but he made no signs of his discomfort for Egghead was staring at him in the most satisfied manner.</p><p>It was only when the manager started speaking did Osamu noticed the white objects on the desk - two pieces of what was once a whole face but judging by the uneven edges of the neck, it must had came from a larger structure.</p><p>"I will cut to the chase," the manager began in a grave tone as if they were at a funeral rather than an office, "this statue was found broken early today and we had witness statements indicating you were near the courtyard where this statue was last night. Is that correct?"</p><p>"Yeah, I guess," Osamu said slowly. He took another look at the statue. It did looked like the one from last night but then the streetlamps were not a good light source for him to be sure. Osamu was about to say this when the manager said -</p><p>"So you admit to breaking this last night and failing to report it."</p><p>"What?" Osamu exclaimed. "I didn't break that."</p><p>"That is not what our witnesses stated," - the manager took out a sheet of paper, steadied his eyeglasses on his crooked nose, and cleared his throat- "It said here that at about quarter-past nine last night you were seen entering the courtyard in a drunken manner and had bumped into the statue to which the head came off. You were than seen leaving the scene in hurried manner." The manager looked up with a frown. "There are more than five people who supported this statement so I suggest you be honest to make any punishment you will face much easier."</p><p>"But I got nothin' to confess. Yeah, I was there last night but I didn't touch the statue - I was no where hear it. It was Satoshi-"</p><p>"<em>Lord</em> Satoshi, young man. And if you are so bold to point the finger I suggest you try elsewhere."</p><p>"But it's him and his friends. I saw them there last night."</p><p>"Oh really," the manager asked in a patronizing manner that hackled Osamu's skin. "Are you saying you saw them push the statue down?"</p><p>"No," Osamu reluctantly admitted.</p><p>"So you cannot say they did it, can you."</p><p>"The witnesses, are they sayin' they saw me break it?" Osamu demanded.</p><p>"Yes-"</p><p>"That's a lie cause I didn't touch it."</p><p>The manager leaned back with a huff and turned toward Egghead. "Can you repeat what you had told me."</p><p>"Course," Egghead said. "I'm part of the night crew and I was coming out of the dining hall cause I always eat a late supper. The cooks there will tell you. So I was walking out when I thought I heard some sound coming from the school building. I thought it was weird cause it being night and all so I decided to walk over to see if some fox had gotten in. You know about them being seen just last week. So I just got there when out of the archway, I saw Sebastian here walking out, shaking his head and all like he was in disbelief or something. Then, he started running away. Don't think he saw me."</p><p>"That's cause I was meetin' with Suna, the floor butler of Bennet hall, and I was late," Osamu interjected but the manager did not acknowledged him for the man asked Egghead, "and why did you not go into the courtyard to investigate his behavior?"</p><p>"I didn't thought much of it cause I thought its just him making a scene. He's always like that, making a big deal out of nothing back in the stables. And besides, I need to look after the horses so I just went back."</p><p>The manager nodded as if Egghead's story solved everything. He then asked the stable master if what Egghead said about Osamu's behavior was true to which the stable master stated that "the boy's one of the worst - make mistakes every time while walking round thinking he's some big shot. Other grooms had to pick up more slack cause of his mistakes. I told you all this before but only now you listen cause some statue broke."</p><p>"The statue is of a former student whose family did much contribution to the university." the manager stated indignantly. "The family is not happy nor are the higher ups. They wanted the culprit found which I see now I have so that is one thing less to worry about."</p><p>"I didn't do it," Osamu repeated but like last time it fell on deaf ear. Egghead just smirked at him. "I'm tellin' ya its Lord Satoshi."</p><p>"And I am telling you to stop your pointless accusations," the manager exclaimed as he took out a paper from his drawer. "There is no witness who saw Lord Satoshi around the area as oppose to you so I suggest you be quiet on the matter."</p><p>"Why? Cause he's paying ya?" Osamu accused.</p><p>Egghead scoffed, "really, man. <em>Ya</em> not makin' <em>yerself</em> look good."</p><p>Osamu scowled at him but he could barely organized his thoughts as panic slowly raised in his lungs. The manager was scribbling over the paper with an air of a work done while the stable master was slumped against his chair, eyes closed, completely at ease with what occured.</p><p>This can't be happening.</p><p>Osamu racked his brain of last night, of anything he could think of that would support his admission of innocence and of something to reveal Satoshi's hand in the damage. But it was a dark night with no people about. Was Egghead really by the school building? Osamu could not be sure. He had been so intent on his return to Bennett Hall that anything else had slipped his mind. Suna, could Suna help him? No, Suna had only seen Osamu before and after the damage. Nothing he said could change the fact that between nine and nine thirty, Osamu was alone on the school grounds.</p><p>Five witnesses- who were they? If Egghead was one of them than who were the other four? It had to be Satoshi, of course it was him. He and his friends were the only one in the courtyard apart from Osamu. What better way to hide a crime then by accusing someone else of it? Satoshi's friend would had help him because they were just as guilty. But how was Osamu suppose to say this when the two times he tried he was accused of making false charges?</p><p>
  <em>Shit, shit!</em>
</p><p>"Sebastian," the manager called out. Osamu looked up and the last hope of being hear out drained away at the distant, uncaring eyes. The manager lifted up the paper and Osamu automatically took it. The words were of course in Celestian <em>Toria</em> but there was something about them that felt like shackles to his hands and feet. "You are suspended for the next three days while I talk this matter over with the headmaster and the counsel. They will decide what to do with you but I can say for a fact that you are going to have to pay a hefty sum for the damage. Like I said the family is not happy. So I would take this three days to fix that attitude of yours. Now, go get your stuff from the stables and get out."</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Date's was a bar at the edge of St. Lewis - it was not chic enough to garner the Richie's interest nor was it near Inarizaki to have any Astorian customer. Thus, it was a popular site for the Celestian workers from the poorer side of the city. The factory workers, the construction workers, the harbor people and such all pulled into Date's after a day of hard work under the unforgiving cold.</p><p>Osamu had never been to Date's but the event of the day had him forgoing his usual route home in need of obscurity and a bartender who would filled his thirst without reporting to the entire freaking Astorian community. Suna and Gin were probably with their families and friends right now, playing games, lighting candles, and sharing stories. All without a care in the world. The image was like a fist around his heart. He picked up his glass and raised it in the air in mock toast to the two empty chair at his table.</p><p>The sting of alcohol down his throat was heaven. Yes, this was what he needed after the day he had, after the mess he was thrown in.</p><p>He was fired, there was no doubt about that. He saw it in the manager's eyes the moment Egghead finished his retelling - they had already decided on his fate and the three day suspension was nothing more then some sick mind game to bring his sprirt down.</p><p>Osamu finished his drink in a matter of seconds and called for another. The waiter raised an eyebrow but made no move to contradict or recommend anything else. Despite his burned throat and disapproving empty stomach, Osamu doubted he had strength to chew anything that was not liquid. Besides, food cost more than a few drinks. Osamu sniggered as he took his (third? seventh? tenth?) drink. Cost more? What was the point of thinking such a way when he was going to be broke anyway? There was no way Shiratorizawa would let him go scotch free without paying for the damage. A damage that would not be cheap and a damage he did not do.</p><p>How on earth was he going to admit to his flatmates that he could no longer paid the rent for next month or the next one or the next because his major salary was going back to his employer and that Lord Tobio's payment was going to that stupid figurine that was not even his fault? Worse, he would be in debt for two hundred and thirty-three <em>Jens</em> could not pay the restoration of a marble statue with cracks in five places and splinters.</p><p>He had been so <em>careful</em>. He had tried not to anger any of the grooms and Richies, had kept his head down and did as he was told because he knew that something like this might happen if he acted out.</p><p>So why was he suddenly unemployed, broke, and in debt?</p><p><em>Nothing</em>. He had done nothing to warrant this treatment. All he did was did his job. Osamu took another drink. His hand shook a little and the bar tipped to the side but he righted himself for another gulp. He did nothing but because Satoshi said he did, he did in the eye of the manager and the law. Apparently, the word of a lord outweighed everything else, even the truth. Why did Satoshi hated him so? Or perhaps it was because Osamu was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Being a witness to Satoshi's crime made him the perfect scapegoat. And would you look at that, it fucking work. How lucky Satoshi was, to be born to status and the power to wield it at his convenience. So while Osamu who was slumped against the table in some retched bar, drowning his despair in drink, Lord Satoshi was probably in some over-pricing restaurant celebrating his victory over fine wine and roasted pork.</p><p><em>Pathetic</em>.</p><p>That was what Atsumu would say. Osamu wished his brother was here, sitting next to him, talking his ear off on how much of an asshole Satoshi was and what they could do to make him suffer. It was stupid but sometimes Osamu would looked to his left and be shocked that Atsumu was not there. He would waited for Atsumu to make a stupid remark of something Egghead had said or something the Richie did but all he got was silence.</p><p>The silence was the worst of them all. He laid on his bed at nights, terrified of the deep ocean that swapped him away the minute he lost conscious or felt empty at the quietness of the night - his brother's boastful laughers, his ridiculous comments nowhere to be found. On very bad nights, horrible thoughts came to mind - terrible ones that had Osamu breathing too harshly and sweating bullets. But he would not allowed himself to be swept away by these thoughts; instead, he counted the money and repeated to himself that everything would be alright. That his twin was alive, <em>alive</em> - this was the truth. It had to be because if it was not, if it was not then who was Osamu without Atsumu?</p><p>For twenty three years of his life, Osamu's entire being had been constructed and founded on the fact that he was part of a pair. This preordained bond meant no matter what, Osamu would never ever be alone. He could be who he truly was to Atsumu and Atsumu would expected nothing less from him. They were each other confidante, rival, motivator, secret keeper, nuisance - anything and everything siblings could be to each other. </p><p>But now as he stood in the capital of a foreign country, surrounded by weird-sounding Toria and complicated clothing with no Atsumu in sight, he did not know what to do about it. How could he be the silent one when the loud one was missing? How was he the sensible one, the kind one when the irresponsible one, the rude one was gone? He was no longer part of a pair, no longer Osamu and Atsumu - just Osamu and that was the hardest fact for him to swallow.</p><p>What was he without his twin?</p><p><em>Nothing</em>. He was nothing without Atsumu because Atsumu was everything - life never was enough for his twin who wanted so much, who felt too much, and who lived so freely. People hate him? He could care less. He can't do a particular sword technique? He would trained the hell out. He was bored? <em>Let's do something fun and amazing! Samu, let's do something!</em></p><p>But he wasn't Atsumu; Osamu could not ignored the people around him - he had to know what they think of him. He had to know so that he could changed his behavior to match their needs so that they would leave him, his brother, and mother alone. <em>If I become what they want, they will leave us alone. If I was kind, they will not see us a problem</em>.</p><p>But with no money, Osamu was not going to be leaving the Capital any time soon. He was going to have to start all over again. Probably get some job in a factory - that was always a possibility. Bad pay, bad conditions but at least he would be paid. But what of the rent? Surely, Suna and Gin would not let him stay on for free for an extended amount of time - again. No one was that generous or forgiving, not even Gin.</p><p>Osamu leaned onto his hand with a low groan. Hopeless, this was all hopeless; but wasn't it so from the very beginning? If Osamu really thought about it, <em>really, really thought about it</em>, could he actually saved enough money to travel the freaking country just to find one person who he did not even know was alive? Not when asking question was dangerous for people like him. But Osamu had not wanted to think such thoughts because if he did then he would had to acknowledged the full magnitude of what he was up against. He had wanted to hope, wanted to believe he had a chance - that life was not so despairing. However, that was all down the drain and Osamu had to now acknowledged the foolishness of his hope and the improbability of his goal.</p><p>He was never going to see Atsumu again.</p><p>Loud laughter penetrated the drunken haze around Osamu's mind and he looked around to find the source. He immediately looked down which cause his head to waver harshly to his side. He hoped the newcomers did not see him but his wish was not to be.</p><p>"Lookie here, guys. It's Mr. Icey Groomy," Satoshi's voice carried across the bar. And a minute later, his hands appeared before Osamu's vision. Satoshi's hair was messy from the wind but there was an air of victorious joy around him that even Osamu in his half drunkenness could detected. The bile in his stomach rose.</p><p>"Hey, thanks for today, you are a big help. Old Nakumara can be a bit of a hard ass but at least he see our way of things." Satoshi gave a condescending pat on Osamu's shoulder. Howling and hooting followed this remark and Osamu saw the man had not came alone. There must be about nine or ten Richies, all in various state of coats and scarf but just as high as Satoshi.</p><p>"Ya-," Osamu slurred, he leaned on his elbow as he glared at the red lord.</p><p>"Oh oh, what's that you say?" Satoshi cupped his hand over his ear and leaned closer to Osamu. He shouted slowly as if speaking to a young child, "speak up, man. We can't understand yaaaaa."</p><p>Another roar of laughter sounded and that was the last straw. Osamu instantly got up; he swayed a bit but he was not that drunk to grab Satoshi's collar and brought up his fist to hit him.  Blood pounded in his ear at the lord's wide eyes and he imagined them bruised - Goddess did that thought filled him with sick pleasure. But before his arm could fall forward, he stopped.</p><p>What was the point? What use was there for Osamu to hit Satoshi? Sure he would enjoy the pain, the pleasure of the sting on his knuckles as blood groused out of the filthy Richie's nose but what was the point? It was not going to magically swept all his problems away, he would not be immediately forgiven by the manager - hell, he probably would be in even more trouble or worse, arrested. At the end of the day, Satoshi was a lord and Osamu was not. Satoshi had the manager, the grooms, and professors on his side, Osamu had no one. Satoshi was the one with the power, the wealth to wield it freely and easily; Osamu had nothing but his pride and his hat.</p><p><em>There was no point in fighting a losing battle</em>.</p><p>Osamu's world suddenly exploded as pain erupted on his left side and he slummed over the table. His hair swept against it as his hat flew off. There was sounds of glass breaking and jeers as stars circled behind Osamu's eye lid. His cheeks pounded like that time he had fallen onto concrete and the world tilled upside down. His front was pulled upward and hot breath fell on his face.</p><p>"You low-life bastard, think you can hit me and get away with it? Huh? Think you are better than us just cause you got some good looks?" Satoshi's voice was loud and before Osamu could make sense, a hard fist jab into his stomach, knocking the wind off him. He fell to his side again.</p><p>"Come on, now. Aren't you going to hit me? Ha, I knew you don't have it in you. Don't know what she see in you."</p><p><em>Fight back</em>, Atsumu shouted in his mind. Or was this a memory?</p><p>His hip hit something and he fell on to his bottom, back onto his chair. Osamu finally opened his eyes to find that the Richies had circled him and Satoshi was holding his shoulder while his right knuckles were raised.</p><p><em>Fight back</em>.</p><p><em>I can't,</em> Osamu shut his eyes and braced for the impact. <em>There is no point</em>.</p><p>Bang came the sound but no pain followed. Osamu realized it came from his right and he turned to find a sliver of a knife inserted onto his table. The hand holding it belonged to a tall man. For one wild moment, Osamu thought it was Atsumu standing there, protecting him like he had always done. But then differences became clear; the man's brown hair fell over to the side and his eyes shone with something as he glared at Satoshi, who had his hand restrained by an even taller man. This one was scary due to his large stature, light hair, hard scowl, and no eyebrows.</p><p>"Well, well, well, what do we have here, <em>gentlemen</em>? A bit too much drink, don't you agree, Aone?" The brown-haired man stated in a mocking, cheerful tone that was very menacing due to the fact that he was still holding the knife.</p><p>Aone, the one with no eyebrows, grunted.</p><p>Satoshi growled and he tried to wretch his hand away but it won't budged so he turned toward the brown-haired man.</p><p>"You-"</p><p>"The name's Futakuchi," the man interrupted; he sounded bored.</p><p>"<em>You</em>," Satoshi snarled, "have no right to interrupt me. This have nothing to do with you. So get your henchman to let go of me."</p><p>Futakuchi freed the knife from the table and held it up, Satoshi's goons flinched but one or two took a warning step forward.</p><p>"See, I don't 'gree with that," Futakuchi said calmly, playing with the knife. "See this here is my bar and what I see is you guys entering a respectable establishment, mind you, and having a go against one of my paying customer, Mr. -" Futakuchi made a waving motion at Osamu.</p><p>"Osa- ummm, Se-Sebastian," Osamu stumbled. His head was still light but at least the last of the stars were gone from his eyes.</p><p>"Mr. Sebastian. So you see, this is very bad for business and I like to see you <em>gentlemen</em> out before I call the police"</p><p>Satoshi laughed. "Do you know who I am? This low-life," - he threw a dirty look at Osamu- "can't pay his bills never mind his drinks - probably neck high in debt, people like him always are. I'm doing him a favor. Did you not see him trying to take a shot at me? If anything I'm just trying to protect myself from a drunken psychopath."</p><p>To Osamu's surprise, Futakuchi nodded. "Oh, I agree. You have every right to defend yourself. The first hit is obviously defensive but what of the second hit and the near third? Nothing more pathetic than seeing some grown men cheering over beating a dead dog. Make me sick, in fact."</p><p>"You-" Satoshi 's face reddened as he pointed at Futakuchi</p><p>"Don't you all agreed?" Futakuchi shouted, looking around. The bar had been quiet the entire time of the exchange. With the sudden question, some of the men called out a hard, "yay." One person shouted, "no need to take it that hard too!" while another stated, "Should be ashamed of yourself, you should."</p><p>Satoshi looked even more enraged but his movement was contained by Aone who was also glaring at the Richies who dared to take a step toward him or Futakuchi.</p><p>The bar owner looked back at the red lord with a very satisfied grin, he raised his hand. "The mess had spoken. Now get out of my bar or I will have you thrown out. Believe when I say this, <em>gentlemen</em>, most folks here would love nothing more than to do that."</p><p>The other occupants of the bar must had given some indication to support Futakuchi's word for Satoshi breathed out heavily a faint, "alright, alright, let me go."</p><p>Aone did not. Instead, the giant pulled Satoshi away from Osamu and only then, did he let go. Satoshi swapped his hand with an air of dignity and self-importance. He gave Osamu one last hated look and an even more hated look at Futakuchi with a threat, "I won't forget this, cretin."</p><p>"No would I," Futakuchi smiled. "You make tonight far more exciting. Do come again."</p><p>Even more angered by this replay, Satoshi stomped away, his goons behind him.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>It turned out Futakuchi was not the real owner of Date's. The owner was Kaname Moniwa, a soft looking man who had returned from his nightly walk to find a bruised customer leaning against the table near the kitchen and his other customers congratulating him on his "fine young man," that "Futakuchi is going somewhere. Aone too!" and that the night excitement call for "drinks on the house."</p><p>Osamu was given ice by the cook, Takehito, which he held to his cheek to help numb the sting. A glass of water and <em>tempura</em> was given to sober him up. Osamu hesitated on the thought of it adding to his bill but when Takehito told him it was one the house, he ate the shrimps with gusto and drank the water.</p><p>"You threaten a lord?" Moniwa shrieked at Futakuchi. He looked like part of his soul had left his body. "With a knife?"</p><p>"Oh, it was the best," Kamasaki, the bartender, laughed from behind the bar. "You should had seen it. That man went as pale as the snow."</p><p>"This isn't funny!" Moniwa moaned in despair. "What if he try to shut this place down?"</p><p>Both Futakuchi and Kamasaki straightened. The former proclaimed, "I won't let that happen. And we can let Aone on them if they try." Aone, too, stood straight, his hard face screwed as if he did not mind the undertaking.</p><p>Moniwa gasped. "This isn't a laughing matter and Aone, you don't need to do that."</p><p>"I'm not joking." Futakuchi crossed his arms. "Those rich boys make me sick but what make me sicker is us just sitting there and let them do whatever they want."</p><p>Some of the customers shifted awkwardly. Moniwa sighed and turned his attention toward Osamu. "How's your jaw? Do you want us to call a doctor?"</p><p>"Nay, just bit shock, that's all." Osamu muttered, feeling very embarrassed at the fatherly concern and at lost on how to react to such sincerity that was Moniwa's eyes. Futakuchi snorted and made to the bar. Aone stayed behind- his eyes never leaving Osamu's face.</p><p>"He wants to know if you're really fine," Futakuchi shouted.</p><p>Osamu repeated that he was to Aone and the giant's frown lessen. With a bow, the man walked away.</p><p>"Aone is a gentle soul despite his appearance," Moniwa laughed.</p><p>"Bout the broken glass-" Osamu started. But Moniwa waved it away.</p><p>"Don't worry about that. It's not like you did it on purpose. I'm just glad that you are okay and those kids didn't do much damage."</p><p>Maybe not physically but Osamu said, "ya really think he'll shut ya down?"</p><p>"Well, I will face that when it come to it - not that I blame you," Moniwa quickly added when Osamu opened his mouth. "From the sound of it, those kids were the instigator of the fight."</p><p>"Still, they only did that cause I was 'ere."</p><p>"They would had found another target if not you. I know those kids, always walking round as if they own entire city, it's not the first they make trouble around here since its far from their school." Moniwa patted Osamu's shoulder with surprising strength. "Truth be told, this isn't the first time Futakuchi got on the wrong side of a lord. Goddess know he enjoy provoking them. So you see, this is not your fault."</p><p>Not knowing what else to say, Osamu nodded and nibbled on his tempura. Moniwa asked if he needed to sent a message to anyone to come get him but he shot the idea down immediately. The thought of Suna or Gin seeing Osamu in the shape he was in was so humiliating that going home did not sound appealing. However, he did not want to spent any more time at Date's as some of the customers and staff were giving him curious looks. With great civility and calm, Osamu got up with thanks Moniwa on his hospitality. After a slight hesitation, he asked where Futakuchi and Aone were for it would be very unkind to leave without giving his gratitude.</p><p>He found them in the kitchen. Aone returned his thanks with a slight bow while Futakuchi gave him a condescending, speculative glance down that strongly resembled the ones Atsumu would gave to those he found irksome or stupid. A prickle of annoyance and embarrassment spread within Osamu and tried as he might he could not stop himself from asking-</p><p>"Why didja step in?"</p><p>Futakuchi shrugged in a nonchalant manner - definitely like Atsumu. "Why shouldn't I? It's not good for business if people think they can come here and hit whoever they please. Plus, you look like you need some help."</p><p>"I didn't need yer help."</p><p>"Yes, because you are dealing with it so well. Don't worry, next time you are getting your head busted, I will make sure not to intervene," Futakuchi scoffed. "Why did you not fight back?"</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"Fight back - I was watching. You clearing what to bash his head against the wall and was about to but you just shut down. What's up with that?"</p><p>"Why I gotta tell ya?" Unable to help himself, Osamu pulled his hat down over his head. He had grabbed for his hat the minute Satoshi and his goons left. It was a great relief when he placed it back on as if doing so had enacted a bubble between him and others. He needed that more than ever as Futakuchi's accusing eyes washed over him. He hated how naked he felt under them.</p><p>"No reason but I think it's dumb you started a fight and not go full in with it."</p><p>Osamu blistered. "I didn't start the fight."</p><p>"Oh, do you always greet people by <em>almost</em> punching them in the face?"</p><p>"That was a mistake. Was drunk," Osamu's voice lowered near the end as the admittance felt equivalent to admitting a weakness. Futakuchi narrowed his eyes.</p><p>"Look, what's done is done so I don't know why you're making a big deal out of it. I was just looking for an excuse to throw them out and you give me one. Not everything's about you, you know. If you want to throw yourself a pity party -"</p><p>"Oi, Futakuchi, that's enough," Takehito the cook hissed.</p><p>"What? I'm just stating some facts. I'm looking out for this bar and he's the one making trouble just cause he rather lose than -"</p><p>Aone placed a hand on Futakuchi's shoulder and shook his head in warning. Not that it was necessary for Osamu had heard enough.</p><p>"Thanks again," he muttered. With a slight bow at Aone, he turned and walked out of the kitchen, crossed the warm bar, and out in to the cold night.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Osamu did not go home - instead, he went into another bar. He could almost see Moniwa's disappointed face as he brought the first drink to his lips. He hesitated but the memory of Satoshi's snarls and Futakuchi's words had him tipping his drink and calling for another.</p><p>He wanted to forget - the humiliation, the debt, the fight, everything.</p><p>After his seventh drink, Osamu deemed he was good for the night - not because the bartender refused to give him anymore because he had no more money. Oh no, that was some error on the bartender's counting skill but Osamu was magnanimous enough to stand up and leave. Yes, that was right, Osamu always do the right thing. Not getting into that fight? Gosh, he was smart!</p><p>It was snowing when Osamu stumbled out of the bar. The heavy, purple sky was splattered with white sparks that were more dust than rain yet they fell onto the earth with ease, unperturbed and unhurried. Osamu waved a few specks away and started his way toward Inarizaki. He had enough sense to keep an eye on the road in case of ice but he lack the sense to look up for he walked headfirst onto a lamp post.</p><p>Laughter echoed from a group across the street, standing at the corner. Osamu smiled and waved at them as he leaned against the post to save himself from a fall. He tried to move but his body was strangely heavy; it was as if his entire front had transformed into stone.</p><p>"Hey, yer 'right, dear?" A soft voice sounded and Osamu opened his eyes ( when did he closed them?) to see that one of the people at the corner was in front of him. Her hair, a wave of brown (or black?), draped over her shoulder in addition to a dark shawl. Her face was heavy with makeup, her smile both intimate and enticing.</p><p>"'M good," Osamu muttered but his second attempt to move had him slumping against her.</p><p>"Phew, what yer been drinkin', sweetheart? 'orrible night?"</p><p>"The worst."</p><p>"Got someone waitin'?"</p><p>"Just my bed."</p><p>"Want some company?"</p><p>Osamu considered for a second but the memory of his many drinks had him grinning, "broke."</p><p>The woman laughed. "Aren't we all, darling. Come on." She led him toward the corner where her friends were.</p><p>"Whatcha bringing' him here for?" a raspy voice asked. "Got some fetish on being seen or something?"</p><p>"Nay, Shane, not a customer. Just needed some air."</p><p>"And it's not enough over there?"</p><p>"Come on, Shane, won't do you no harm to let him sober up here."</p><p>"Again, can't he do that over there?"</p><p>"He's not gonna scare customer 'way. Yer just gonna sit here, right, sweetheart?"</p><p>Osamu nodded and she helped him down. The wall was cold and hard but much better than the narrow lamp-post. However, Osamu was not tired; his mind was far too awake and the voices of the people washed over him in indistinguishable waves. There were five people in total and like the woman, who introduced herself as Cecelia, they were loosely dressed. Their coats were either unbuttoned or a shawl hang over their shoulders. The women's hairs were loose, falling over one side of the shoulder. There was a sweetness in the air that reminded Osamu of flowers mixed with ashes. </p><p>They were not alone for long as a group of gentlemen walked past. They gave them a side glance and one or two did not bothered to hide their interest.</p><p>"Them gonna come back," Cecelia whispered to Osamu when the gentlemen rounded the corner.</p><p>"How ya know?" Osamu asked.</p><p>"Inns nearby."</p><p>And sure enough, one of the gentleman came back and started talking to them. It was a simple, direct conversation of rates and time but to Osamu's drunken mind it was more of a boring melody and his interest started slipping away -</p><p>"How much for the night?"</p><p>Once again, Osamu found a voice close to his ear, this time by a tall man who was so close he could smell sweat and smoke off him.</p><p>"What?" Osamu slurred.</p><p>"New one, hmm. Thought you look unfamiliar. But still, " - the man's finger blushed against Osamu's chin which send a tingle of cold down his spine- "not a bad look."</p><p>Osamu shook his head away but he only slumped against the wall even more.</p><p>"Sorry, gov, he's not sellin'," Cecelia happily interjected. The "gov" did not take this lightly and it was some time before he left, gambling to himself. Celica muttered a curse after him.</p><p>"Suppose he got some pretty face," one of the woman's friends muttered after Osamu was asked for a third time, the last one was old enough to be Osamu's father. If he wasn't so drunk, he would had found this horrifying but instead it was all very amusing. Indeed, the night wasn't turning out to be so bad; he did not feel cold at all now that he thought about it.</p><p>"Bet he would fetch a good penny."</p><p>"Ya think so?" Cecelia asked.</p><p>"Sure. Get some makeup, some good clothes, spend some night and he would be good to go."</p><p>"Course, he need some practice," someone stated. "Can't have him screaming like a bitch in heat the entire time, know he's faking it."</p><p>"Nayy, they don't got the brains for it." They all laughed and Osamu laughed with them. He still laughed when they stopped. It was a hysterical sound with no rhythm or reason. He just felt like letting it go. What was the point of containing himself?</p><p>"Great Spirits, yer really down the bottles, haven't yer," Shane snorted.</p><p>"You think he can get home like this?" Cecelia wondered.</p><p>"Cecelia, yer a saint but he's a grown man, he can walk himself. Can't yer?"</p><p>"Yup," Osamu chuckled, not really understanding the question. He started humming a tune as he wondered what time it was. It must be morning right? Strange, why was it so dark all of a sudden - oh, he closed his eyes, again. He sniggered at himself as he opened his eyes.</p><p>And there he stood against the falling snow like some angel, Lord Tobio Kageyama. His hair lightly flew against his eyes and was it Osamu's imagination or did the young lord got some damn halo above his head?</p><p>"Sebastian?" Lord Tobio asked. He sounded weirdly far away - well, he was an angel so that make sense. He was also frowning. But that was no surprise, when had the man did anything but frown?</p><p>Osamu smiled. "'M not sellin'."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Ya 'eard me," Osamu pointed at Lord Tobio-  or tried to. His hand wavered a bit so he gave up.Lord Tobio kneeled down. How funny, Osamu did not remember sitting down. Everything was really funny.</p><p>"Gov, the man said he's not selling so you better try your chance elsewhere," the woman said.</p><p>"Selling what?"</p><p>"Aww, playing dumb's only cute in bed sweetheart."</p><p>Tobio looked at the woman then at the people standing by before looking back at Sebastian, who was smiling. Tobio had never seen the groom smile. From the moment he met him, Sebastian had always maintained a cool exterior that rarely showed any excessive emotion that was enjoyment or excitement. This smile before him, however, was too wide and unnatural that it made Tobio's skin crawl. He greatly dislike it.</p><p>"Look, I know him. He work as a groom in my university," Tobio told the woman. She was glaring at him despite her smiles. Tobio was not sure why but what he did know was that he did not want to leave Sebastian out in the cold when the man was obviously not in a good head-space.</p><p>"Are you drunk?" Tobio sniffed again and yes, there was the tall-tale smell of rum that reminded him of the time he and Hinata had sneaked into a bar in Orion a few years back. Grandfather had been most displeased when Suga brought back a couple of drunk boys. "And is that a bruise? Were you in a fight?"</p><p>"Fight with the lamppost more like," one of the people muttered. A few chuckle sounded but Tobio discarded them as he lightly touched the groom's cheek. The skin was already cool and a bit rough. Sebastian let out a hiss and moved back against the wall. He opened his eyes and said -</p><p>"Ya one annoyin' piece of shit, ya know?"</p><p>The woman laughed; Tobio blinked.</p><p>"I don't."</p><p>"Well, ya should! Why it gotta be ya? Why not someone prettier- thought angels are suppose to be pretty."</p><p>Angles? Pretty? Tobio looked at the woman. The early hostility was gone and she was regarding Tobio in a warmer light. "Knew each other pretty well, huh?" She asked. There was something about that question that made Tobio felt he was being teased but he had more important matters to attend to for Sebastian had started talking again. </p><p>"But ya pretty so I don't mind but I hate that it's ya; don't tell Tobio , kay? He's vvvveeeeerryyyy annoying."</p><p>"I'm Tobio."</p><p>"No ya not," Sebastian gasped with a start, peering at him.</p><p>"I am."</p><p>"Nope, nope, noooooope - thought angels can't lie."</p><p>"What on - what are you doing?"</p><p>"Sleepin'!" Sebastian slurred as he leaned toward the ground. Tobio stopped him from cracking his head and the woman gave him some support to get the groom to lean against his shoulder. Sebastian suddenly moved his head and Tobio realized just how close they were. The smell of alcohol was so strong that he was momentarily light-headed-</p><p>Oh, he had always thought the groom's eyes were brown but there seem to be specks of grey in them. Tobio had never seen such fascinating pairs of eyes.</p><p>"Beautiful... ya so -." Sebastian shook his head and nestled himself into Tobio's neck. The touch of skin and puff of warm air send arrows of heat throughout his body that breathing seem impossible for a moment. Tobio closed his eyes and steady himself so that they don't fall over. He also wished the woman would looked away for she was making him feel more conscious of Sebastian's every movement.</p><p>"Alright, come on."</p><p>"Noooo, I wanna sleep! Sleep!"</p><p>"You can't sleep on the street."</p><p>"Where?" Sebastian made a swap at the air causing both of them to topple against the wall.</p><p><em>Right then</em>, Tobio thought angrily, his patience was at its limit, <em>change of plan</em>.</p><p>Tobio left Sebastian in the care of the woman while he ran toward the end of the street to find a cab. He only had to wait for a few minute before a carriage came out against the falling snow. Both he and the driver, after some swearing and hand waving from the drunkard, was successful in getting Sebastian into the cab.</p><p>Tobio turned toward the woman and, after of moment of hesitation, asked if she needed a ride home.</p><p>"You really don't know, do you?" she asked.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Tobio hissed back. He was getting tired of being treated like a child.</p><p>"Don't matter. Where yer taking him?"</p><p>That was a very good question. He couldn't take Sebastian to his dorm - he don't know what the university would do if they found out the groom had been drinking. Not to mention the talk that would spread when people learn Tobio brought a man to his room. His own house was out of the question. Should he rent a room? That was a possibility but the idea did not sit well with him.</p><p>"A friend of mine live close by," Tobio said. Would Akaashi still be awake at this time? "I can set him up for the night."</p><p>"Well make sure yer give him lots of water and that he don't choke if he started throwing up."</p><p>"I won't," Tobio exclaimed in offense.</p><p>The woman hummed and with a loud goodbye at the carriage ( to which Sebastian gave out a loose wave and a murmur) she returned back to her friends on the wall.</p><p>"Grover Street, number four," Tobio told the driver as he closed the carriage door. The cab was one of the smaller one in which the seats were located on one side. Sebastian was flopped against the wall across from the door. But the moment Tobio sat down, the groom placed his head on his shoulder. Once again, rum filled his sense and Tobio had to breathe from his mouth. His necktie felt suddenly a bit tight and he deeply regard wearing such a thick cloak for the carriage had become excruciatingly hot.</p><p>"Sebastian," Tobio whispered. He wished he hadn't because the groom looked up. It took him a few seconds to open his eyes; though judging by the glazed look, the groom was completely out of it.</p><p>"Sebastian?"</p><p>The groom smiled and, to Tobio's panic (excitement), leaned up so that his mouth was by his ear, his voice a soft rasp like the pages of an opened book turning against a gentle breeze, "Am I going to dead alone?"</p><p>Then, Sebastian lost consciousness on Tobio's shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>
  <em>-eleven years ago-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu was not talking to him which Osamu thought was very immature of him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The day after the Festival of Light, Osamu had awaken to find his brother's bed empty. He entered the dining hall for breakfast to find him already half-way through his bowl of noodle. Their mother sat at the head and tried as she might, she could not get Atsumu to enter into conversation with them or for Osamu to apologize for his words. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Aran arrived near the end of the meal. Before Osamu could finished greeting him, Atsumu immediately got up, took Aran's hand, and pulled him out of the room. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come on, Aran. Ya promised to practice with me!" Atsumu said.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Aran looked back at the breakfast table. "What about Osa-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Who?" Atsumu interrupted. Then, with a significant sniff, he shouted very loudly and clearly, "I'm an only child and yer my bestest friend, the only one I trust in the whole wide world cause yer not a crybaby or a coward!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Their mother sighed as she placed her palms over her eyes and rubbed them. Osamu gasped angrily as Atsumu pulled Aran out of the room.  </em>
</p><p><em> <span class="u">Fine</span></em> <em>, if Atsumu was going to be this immature than Osamu was not going to indulge him. If Atsumu wanted to be an only child that much than Osamu was not going to deny him of that wish. In fact, he was very happy about this because that mean he was an only child too. He no longer had to follow stupid Atsumu around and play whatever stupid, dumb game that came to his brother mind. Now, Osamu was the boss and he could do whatever he like. </em></p><p>
  <em>And besides, as if Atsumu could stay away so long. His brother got bored very easily and it won't be long before he started spending time with Osamu again. That was how these things usually goes. Atsumu was so weak and when that happen, Osamu was going to be the mature one and not hold a grudge against him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The first day was heaven for Osamu spend it in the stables with the horse master and got to ride his favorite horse as long as he want! Not to mention, he got to eat his fill because he didn't have to fight over his food. His afternoon was quiet and so peaceful he got to nap after boring himself with a book. Ha, stupid Atsumu. Osamu was having the time of his life as if his immature action could hurt him!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The second day, Osamu was surprised to find Atsumu playing with the starboard by himself at the corner of the room. His twin made no indication that he was aware of Osamu being in the room. Osamu at first made a big show of not finding this annoying but when the cold silence persisted into hours, he started making exclamation of what he was reading ("Gasp, can't believe she did that! ... Hah, I was right ... yup, knew it all along"). And yet, Atsumu made no move to demand what was happening. Osamu scowled at himself for the weakening in his resolve and promised himself to ignore his brother. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>At dinner, Atsumu did not try to snatch the fried fish off Osamu's plate nor did he made a pile of onion of which he hated and Osamu liked. He ate everything and only talked to mother about his day. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"- Aran said he'll take me to the waterfall next time. I can go right? Ya said I can go!" Atsumu insisted.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The waterfall?" Osamu gasped. He clamed his mouth shut angrily for breaking his own rule again. However, Atsumu did not even look at him - not even to made a victorious smirk as he was prone to do whenever he was winning. Osamu had truly became a ghost to him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>By the fourth day, Osamu still woke up to an empty bed (which had been moved further across the room the first night) and his breakfast was a quiet affair for Atsumu had finished eating and left by the time he sat down.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu ate his food slowly but this time, mother did not leave. She drank her tea and waited until Osamu's plates were cleared. Then, she had him accompanied her to the garden. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Finally bored?" She asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No," Osamu answered, unable to hide the perturbance from his voice.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She took a seat on a marble slab and have Osamu sat next to her. He wondered what punishment he would receive if he were to ran away. He did not want to hear what she had to say, did not want to hear her siding Atsumu. But Osamu's love for his mother outweighed his pride so he sat down.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Atsumu had not talk to you at all?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Have you try talking to him?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't ya want to?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ya don't miss him?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hmm. My sons are really stupid."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu almost choked on his spit. "What the fuck- "</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Language."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ya can call me stupid but I'm not allow to curse? That's unfair. "</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's cause I'm the parent. Parent win against children when it comes to swear words privilege. Ya get yer when ya become one"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Unfair," Osamu muttered. "And I'm not stupid. Tsumu the stupid one."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Nay, ya both stupid."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Aren't ya suppose to say, 'no, Osamu, ya the best and brightest. Yer so smart and whatcha doin' is correct.'"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But then I would be lying and that's bad parenting."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu sighed loudly and folded his arm." I knew it! Ya takin' Tsumu's side. Ya always do that."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm not taking his side, I'm don't even know there are sides to take till four days ago. So why don't you explain to me what this is all about?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Once again the urge to run away came over him but Osamu stayed in his place. His mother got long legs and could catch him anyway. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"-and that's why Tsumu's wrong and I'm right," Osamu finished with a huff. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I see your point." Osamu brightened only to sulk at her next words. "But I can see Atsumu's point too."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So ya spoke to him!" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Of course, I need to know what happen. I can't have my son hating each other for the rest of their lives cause of an argument."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu's stomach grew heavy at the words "hate" but he ignored it. "That's cause Atsumu won't apologize."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So if he apologize to you, you will love him again?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, that's a tall order for your brother."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Which is why he don't have any friends. He's not nice." His mother did not immediately replay and that only made Osamu's stomach shift uncomfortably. "Ma, am I a nice person?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I think so," - she smiled- "although ya got a mischievous, playful streak just like Atsumu. Ya just good at hiding it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So ya saying Atsumu's nice too?" Osamu frowned.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I think so... deep, deeeeeep down. Both of you are my sons after all," - she gave a soft laugh before her face turned serious- "Osamu, what's the matter? What's really bothering ya 'bout what happen?" Osamu made no reply because the act of talking  was becoming very tiresome. Besides, he doubt his mother would understand if he did explain. "Ya don't want to talk to me?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu nodded.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Would ya rather talk to Atsumu?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu shook his head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ya know, Atsumu miss ya." Osamu looked up and his mother grinned. She placed a finger over her lips as if she was sharing a secret. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Really?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes. That's what I mean by 'stupid'  but I should say 'stubborn.' Ya two always want to be the winner that sometimes ya don't see what the others really doin' or feelin'."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But I always know; Tsumu not that good of an actor."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He is hurt - won't ya be when the person ya care about said they hate ya and wanted ya dead?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu winced and looked down at his hand. So she had finally reached the subject he wished to burn away and never relieved again only so the guilt that festered in his heart could disappear. The memory of Atsumu's hurt face, after the first few hours had passed away, no longer gave Osamu a sense of superiority. Instead, self-consciousness and guilt had taken over. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why did ya said that?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Dunno."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do ya meant it?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu shook his head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But ya still said it - that is a horrible thing to say. I want ya and Atsumu to talk about this, in a civilized, quiet manner with no fist or insults involve. Yer brothers and yer each other families. I won't live forever. (Osamu made a start and tried to intervene but his mother kindly placed her hand over his mouth) It is the truth, I will die one day and so would your father. Then, you two would only have each other to depend on. I do not want either of you to use this argument and distant yourself from each other. Both of you had good points but instead of trying to being right, try to understand Atsumu's view just as he should try to understand yours. I want you to grow and learn from this so that the two of you can continue on to help each other. You are brothers - you have an entire life ahead of you. Don't waste it away hating each other."</em>
</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>-<em>four months and six days before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>Osamu awaken to blinding light and the worst headache in the history of headache. It was like someone was hammering a cannon ball over concrete, each movement of his head was a bang against the walls that were his eyelids and skull. His jaw and stomach stung from the slightest twitch- what the hell did he do last night?</p><p>He tried to sit up but that was a lost cause for his head pounded in indignation so he laid back down onto his pillow and struggled to open his eyes, which were strangely heavy for some reason. The pillow was really soft, more so than usually - he didn't remember changing it. The blanket too, it was really soft and very warm; it was like being cocooned between clouds. His eyes finally opened to a white surface - huh, he was sure his blanket was a dark blue. Wait a minute, this was not his blanket and that... since when did his room had two windows? Or that drawer? In fact, this was not his room at all!</p><p><em>Shit</em>, did he want to bed with someone? Osamu quickly took note of the fact that he was (thankfully) not naked; but the clothes he was wearing were unrecognizable; a cream-colored button down shirt and slacks. Apart from his head, back, and side, no part of his body was experiencing unusual pain - at least, his muscles weren't. So where the hell was he?</p><p>He rolled to his front and almost jumped out of his skin for Lord Tobio Kageyama was sitting on a sofa by his bedside with a book in hand.</p><p>"Good morning," the young lord greeted.</p><p>"Wha-ya-how - what are ya doin' here?" Osamu stumbled. </p><p>"You don't remember last night?"</p><p>"Last night..." Osamu brought his hand to his forehead. Last night, he went to Date's because ... then everything came back to him. The statue, the accusation, Satoshi, the fight, Futakuchi, Moniwa, the other bar, snow, Cecelia, and the angel -</p><p><em>No, not an angel</em>. Lord Tobio closed his book, placed it on the table beside the bed, and looked at Osamu with a straight face. </p><p>"Yeah, I remember last night," Osamu paused, for the first time in the young lord's presence, he was at lost on what to say. "W-what's this place?"</p><p>"We are in the apartment above Mujinazaka Publishing. It is owned by a friend of mine, Akaashi. I didn't know where your house was."</p><p>"Shit, Suna, Gin!" Osamu exclaimed as he sat up. The sudden movement had him flopping over his stomach in agony. Lord Tobio quickly gave him a glass of water which did little to cool the stampede that was his brain against his skull.</p><p>"If you tell me the address, I can send a messenger to let them know you are fine and they can come pick you up." The young lord was far too calm for Osamu's liking. Clearly there must be something of this situation that should knock that apathetic expression off his face. Unless the young lord had a habit of entertaining hang-over guests in the early hours of the days which was surprising as Lord Tobio was the last person he viewed as having a night life filled with interchanging partners.</p><p>"No," Osamu growled and realizing how rude he was being, he lowered his voice with some control, "I mean, ya can tell them that I'm good but I can get back home by myself so they don't need to come."</p><p>Lord Tobio gave a stiff nod and after some thought (going by his deep scowl), asked if Osamu wanted something to eat. The idea was very unappealing but Osamu had only eaten tempura last night which was not nutritious or fulfilling enough to be call "dinner." So he accepted the invite and Lord Tobio left to get a tray.</p><p>Now that he had no audience, Osamu tried to quiet his thumping heart as he thought things through. He would freak out about how Lord Tobio had seen him drunk ( and who knows what else) later - much later. In fact, he rather not think of it at all. He knew he should be grateful toward the young lord for doing what he did; and he did feel grateful. But it was also frustrating -humiliating- to know that the young lord had seen him, no doubt, at his worst. The idea was so invasive and anxious-inducing that Osamu kicked it out and turned his mind to other matters. Such as establishing where the hell was Mujinazaka Publishing and how he was going to explain himself to Gin and Suna. The former would be beyond the doubt losing it at Osamu's night disappearance while the latter ... actually, Osamu was not sure what Suna would be doing apart from being a bit concern and a bit amused. </p><p>The clock on the mantelpiece gave off a soft chime, announcing it was ten o'clock. It was a good thing he didn't have work today or that would be three hours off his paycheck -</p><p>Osamu let out a self-deprecating chuckle. He had forgotten - he was on suspension and would be unemployed by next week. His mood plummeted to the deepest bowels of the earth and his sprit which had risen with the bright sunlight now cursed the blasted sun for having the gall to shine so beautifully. The worries of money and the hopelessness of his endeavors (in addition to his headache) crashed onto him like the dark waves to the sand as the thunderous clouds rumbled above - the promise of a storm but with no ending. He never really left the storm, did he?</p><p>Lord Tobio returned with porridge, some oranges, and a cup of tea. Osamu consciously set his face to be as emotionless as possible for the last thing he wanted was for the young lord to enquire of his well-being. The act of talking was far too daunting; he lack the energy for it.</p><p>With steady hands, he took the breakfast tray. The porridge was a thick muck of white and beige; it brought forth unwelcome memories of noodle soup and dried fruit that was the staple breakfast of Astoria. Why was he thinking of that now?</p><p><em>Keep calm, keep a straight face, don't lose it. Don't lose it ... not in front of Lord Tobio</em>.</p><p>The hot flavor hit Osamu's tongue and to his horror, his eyes stung as a small lump appeared in his throat, which made swallowing difficult. His hand shook as he lifted the spoon for a second bite but gave up as a sob sounded out and tears rained down his cheeks. Osamu quickly wiped his face but judging by Lord Tobio's bewilderment, it was a useless endeavor. The young lord started fidgeting in his seat, his eyes looking everywhere that was not Osamu's face.</p><p>"Do you want me to leave?" Lord Tobio asked.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>If it had been any other times Osamu would had found the way Lord Tobio flew toward the door funny. But at the moment, he was thankful of being left alone as the full effect of yesterday and the past month came over him. The breakfast tray was pushed to the side.</p><p>Osamu had not cried when he first arrived to the city. He did not allow himself the luxury to feel that particular emotion that he so loath for tears in the Astorian court was a sign of weakness. The tears were locked away to the very back of his mind and when they bubbled to the surface he ignored it, pushed it back with the pigheadedness he inherited from his mother.</p><p>But in the empty, unfamiliar room where the soft sound of carriage wheel and horses hoof on dirt floated through as the sunlight against the winter gloom, the walls Osamu constructed around his heart had burst forth and he cried into his knee.</p><p>Never before had he felt so alone than that morning. He was stuck in an unforgiving city that could not gave a damn if he were to drop dead for what was he to the thousands of people that populated it. He remembered standing in the Capital harbor surrounded by Astorian refugees, looking at every faces, every ship with the hope, the wish that the next one will be his brother. Loneliness blossomed then but like his tear he tried to lock it away but it  grew in the quiet moments - in the nights and in the days, sometimes it appeared at the most random time - he may be in a room filled to the brim with people but he was a ghost to all things living - he was a furniture, a thing simply waiting, waiting, waiting.</p><p>He was so lonely.</p><p>He had shunned any interaction or companionship with other Astorian immigrants who were not Gin or Suna. And even then, he was not as open to the two men he shared an apartment with because the idea of being open to someone who was not his brother frightened him. He only had surfaced-level acquaintance with the university cooks, most of the grooms hated him, most of the students viewed him as some exotic toy to waste their time on, and most of the university staff barely acknowledged him. He had no one. He had no friends - no one for him to confine to, no one he trusted, no one who understood because he could not tell anyone of his true parentage or circumstance without the fear of discovery or of his existence being told to his uncle who would no doubt had him killed.</p><p>His early relief at being left alone was replaced with confused ideas of wanting Lord Tobio to remain and comfort him even though the young lord would be the most horrible choice of consolation but at least Osamu would not be alone - at least he would had someone to be with.</p><p>Never before was loneliness so invading, so tormenting, so silencing. If there was one thing human should fear above all it was true loneliness. It was the overpowering feeling of helplessness that came with the realization how the feelings one felt was one's own and no one, no one could understand unless they were in one's shoes, one's clothes, and one's position in life.</p><p>Loneliness was the creeping darkness in a labyrinth with no string to led to the entrance. You were trapped in your mind and every turn you make, the deeper into the dark abyss you walked until the silence of the room was so loud, the coldness so strong that your heart beat in the dull rhythm of an empty life. Loneliness was standing in the middle of a foreign land surrounded by words spoken in unfamiliar intonation that you might as well be in the middle of the sea with the sun setting in the distance, your navigator broken and your sail shredded as you drifted with the tide with only the soulless, apathetic stars as companions and the unreliable moon who disappeared like clockwork. </p><p>He was so tired - so, so tired. Tired of keeping himself in check, looking over his shoulders, waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweat and fearful of falling asleep. Tired of lifting bucket of water, sweeping the floor, lifting the hay - of bowing, letting insults go, pretending he was not bothered, being watchful of his spending, of waiting. Of hoping.</p><p>Therefore, Osamu cried - large, loud snob as he finally allowed himself to <em>let go</em> and feel for once in his life. Allowed himself to acknowledge the weakness he so loath; the coward he was.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>
  <em>-eleven years ago-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu found his twin practicing with his sword in the training hall before dinner. Despite the loud steps that announced Osamu's presence, Atsumu's stance did not flattered nor did he took his eyes off the dummy, which he was using as his opponent. The youngest twin was not going to be ignored - not this time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ma talked to me today," Osamu said. No reply. He took off his shoe, stepped into the hall, walked toward the rack which held several wooden sword and picked the one marked with a gray slash.  "Said ya been complain' 'bout me." Nothing. Keeping his growl in, Osamu took his place across from another dummy that was beside the one Atsumu was using. The minute he took a fighting stance, Atsumu walked toward the corner where a water cooler was. <span class="u">Bastard</span>. "Oi, practicing all night is not gonna get ya to win 'gainst me. Teacher always said I'm the best."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Silence. This was very concerning for Atsumu never let go of an opportunity to proclaim his talent and greatness in addition to how Osamu was lacking in some area or another. Atsumu finished his drink and was walking toward the sword rack. He was leaving, he was actually going to leave without saying anything.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu threw his sword; it flew across Atsumu's face and fell against the wall. Atsumu jumped and his face twitched but it did not turned around. <span class="u">Asshole</span>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Asshole! Say something will ya! Are ya that sensitive that ya can't handle a bit of trash talk? What ya want? Me to apologize? Well, ya not getting it cause I'm right and I got nothing to be sorry for! So talk already!" When his brother did not speak, Osamu screamed, "TALK!" while stomping his feet in agitation. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I thought ya want me dead," Atsumu said. His voice was a bit raspy but his eyes held no tears or sadness. Osamu's skin tingled uncomfortably and he found himself taking back his tantrum. Anything to avoid this subject. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I was kidding."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Didn't sound like it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, I was. It's ya fault for takin' it seriously."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Because I'm too dumb and proud to take things seriously?" Atsumu was still not yelling. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why are ya so bothered?" Osamu demanded. "None of this matter before so why now? I was angry, Tsumu. And ya know how we are like, we say things just to hurt each other but it don't matter in the end." The next words that came out were said more in desperation to lighten the gravity of his past words than real consideration; "Sides, between us, I'm the one mostly likely to die first. What with poison -"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't joke about it!" Atsumu suddenly screamed, his voice echoed in the hallow hall. Osamu was so shocked his mouth fell open. "Don't every joke about dying, ya sicko!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm not - why are ya so mad? We always joke 'bout death!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not 'bout us, never 'bout us."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's what's bothering ya? That I made a joke 'bout dying?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's not something to joke about when it can happen!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So his brother did think about these things.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu frowned. "Then why don't you be more careful? If ya worry 'bout that then that 'smore reason to watch what ya say and do -"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't start that again."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Course I am. It's connected. If ya wanna live a safe, good life here, ya gotta be nice to Akihito and stepmother. Mother said so, Aran said so - but why can't ya do it? So what if they were mean to us before, at least they won't be mean to us in the future."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu let out a frustrated growl as he slapped his hands onto his hair and mess it up. All of a sudden, he was in front of Osamu and was jerking him by his collar as if doing so would make Osamu see his way of things. "Just cause we are nice, doesn't mean they still won't try to kill us. If we're nice, they will use that to walk over us."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"They already are," Osamu shouted back. He grabbed his brother's hands and tried to pull them away. But they held fast and it was not long before they were wrestling on the floor, punching each other. But unlike last time, this one was more out of frustration than anger. There was no humiliation or regret fueling Osamu but confusion over his brother's words and distress that this might be the one thing he could not make Atsumu changed his mind on. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The will to fight was gone the moment it started. And so the brothers laid on the floor, side by side, listening to each other breathe and the chirping of the lizard and insects as they tried to think of ways for the other to understand, understand their point of view. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't want ya to die," Osamu finally said - his words chocked at the end for it was true. He could not bear it if his brother died, especially if he could had stop it. "That's why I don't want ya to keep fighitn' with Akihito. Father may given the order that no one shouldn't harm us but that don't mean Akihito and his mother won't try. That's why we need to be good so that they don't see us a threat."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Atsumu signed - he sounded so much like old man Jin that Osamu wondered if instead of a night, they had fought for many years until their bodies had grown weary and their skins melted from their bones. How tiring it must be to fight forever. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Samu, ya weak."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Osamu sat up irritated, ready to argue but stop when he saw that Atsumu was crying. Between the two of them, Atsumu was the more emotional one. When they were younger, his brother was prone to tears out of fustration,sadness, even anger. Osamu could not understand it - back then or even today. Tears never really solved anything other then made you look bad. But then since when did Atsumu cared for other's feelings other than his own gratification. Any feeling his brother feel, it needed to be shared with the world. But it had been a long time since Atsumu openingly cried so the sight of tear glittered down his brother's cheeks was a cause for concern in Osamu. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I heard them say it, that yer easy, meek, gullible. They talk a lot when they think they're alone, away from father. Them, uncle, Akihito's mother, those nobles. But I don't agreed!" Fire burned in Atsumu's eyes despite how wet they were. "I know ya more than that - ya stupidly stubborn, yer strong, smart too, and ya can get away with things - all those time I get blame for yer mistakes - people believe ya more than me. Ya always fight back against me but ya won't do the same to them. Why? Ya never think, for once in yer life, ya could do better than them, that ya could beat them. It anger me that ya won't even fight to save yerself. Akihito was hurting ya but ya won't even scream or do something to get his attention away."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's cause -"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Did ya even thought about it? Tryin' to get away instead of takin' it all in?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No, the honest answer was no. Fighting back had never been an option; it didn't even occurred to Osamu that he could do that until now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Was it was my fault?" Osamu asked softly, anything to stop his brother from crying.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No," Atsumu said strongly. He wiped his cheeks, leaving a read mark on both of them, "its Akihito's fault. It's their fault for making ya think ya can't fight back but ya can! Samu, they don't like us, <span class="u">they're never gonna like us.</span> No amount of groveling, joking, or understanding is gonna change that. They hate us from the moment we are born and are never gonna accept us. The sooner ya accept this fact, the easier ya can live yer life. That life, those people, are not worth fightin' for. That's why if I ever seen ya or ma's life being threaten, if I see ya gettin' hurt, I'm not gonna just stand there and let it happen. I can't do that. "</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But ya could try to watch yer mouth. Ya could stop making more problems for yerself."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Isn't that why I got ya?" Atsumu muttered, it was the closet to self-deprecation his twin would allow.</em>
</p><p><em> <span class="u">Yeah, and its why I got you</span> </em> <em>, Osamu thought, <span class="u">you're always protecting me</span>. </em></p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>It took some time for Osamu to be able to reign some control over his emotions. Although he could do nothing to disguise his redden eyes, stuffy nose, and flushed cheeks, Osamu tried to make himself presentable before allowing Lord Tobio to reenter the room. This time, the young lord was not alone.</p><p>Keiji Akaashi was without the doubt the most stunning person Osamu ever had the fortune to meet. He was a well-built man with a slender face, messy dark hair that looked delightfully soft, and beautiful eyes which lighted green, blue, and gray under different lighting. They were truly mesmerizing and Osamu had to look away multiple time to stop himself from staring too much. Akaashi's hand (when they shook hands) were strong and surprising rough with callous. It appeared that Osamu was not the only one in the room who was no stranger to rough labor.</p><p>Osamu wished they could meet under different circumstances, preferably one where he wasn't bed-ridden, with a bird-nest for his hair, flushed face, and wearing ruffled, dull clothes that <em>did not</em> highlighted his figure well. When Akaashi looked away to pour tea, Osamu quickly tired to smooth his hair but the action reminded him of Atsumu so he immediately stopped - not even the most handsome man in the world was going to have Osamu mimicking his brother's ridiculous actions. The addition of Lord Tobio raising his eyebrow at said action only strengthen this resolve. </p><p>"Would you like for me to send for another porridge since this one's cold?" Akaashi asked. </p><p>"It's alright. Don't like porridge any way."</p><p>"How about toast?"</p><p>Osamu's stomach growled in appreciation and toast was brought. The first bite, thankfully, did not brought out another flood of tears and the second bite rejuvenated his hunger that he must had ate half a loaf of bread. He was feeling much better though whether it was due to the hour long cry or a filled stomach was undeterminable but at least his melancholy was held off at bay. He hoped it would stay that way for as long as possible. He couldn't go around applying for a job looking half-dejected.</p><p>"You can stay here as long as you want," Akaashi said. His voice was soothing despite being in monotone and could definitely win against any opera singer. "I have already dispatch a messenger to your friends so you need not worry about them."</p><p>"Thanks. Sorry for all this trouble."</p><p>"It is alright. It's the least I can do for all you have done for Kageyama." At Osamu's questioning look, Akaashi explained, "you have been giving him riding lessons and out of your work schedule, I'm sure."</p><p>"Oh yeah, he told ya 'bout it."</p><p>"He wanted advices on whether it was smart to do so or to just get a riding instructor."</p><p>"Why didn't ya?" Osamu asked Lord Tobio. "Get a riding instructor?"</p><p>The young lord shrugged in a careless manner, "you were convenient."</p><p><em>Nice</em>, Lord Tobio really knew how to make someone feel appreciated. Osamu angrily drank his tea. He did not know what the young lord's problem was. While Osamu was getting accquinted with Akaashi, Lord Tobio had taken to glaring at the window as if it had insulted his entire family and he was having a non-verbal spat with it. Any word that passed his lips were monosyllabic and rough as if he was perpetually annoyed with something Osamu had said. Even Akaashi shot his young friend a look but he was ignored. Thus, Osamu and Akaashi contiuned their talk without expecting much input from the third party.</p><p>The talk did not contain any inquires as to what Osamu was doing last night or the cause of his drunkenness. Instead, they conversed in a manner befitting of two men geting to know each other. Osamu's background was inquired ( to which lies were given) and Akaashi's work in the company was asked. Apparently, he was the head editor of a literacy magazine called <em>The Owl House</em>, which was located in the present building. It was a nice talk and by the end, Osamu decided he liked the man very much. Keiji Akaashi's restrained emotion, straight posture, and controlled movement showcased a man of elegance and composture; but hints of dry humor and brutal honesty meant there was more to the man than the role he was playing. It was difficult to pinpoint his exact thoughts or sentiments due to his impassive counterance but it was very charming all the same. </p><p>Yet, all the while, Lord Tobio was not far from Osamu's mind as he noticed the young lord would from time to time sneak a glance at them. Always with a frown in place and a look of utter irritation. Seriously, what was his problem? Was Lord Tobio that much of a snob that he disliked Osamu talking with his friend? But he dismissed this thought the second it appeared for Lord Tobio may be many things - proud, irritable, moody, uncommunicative - but he was not that class-concious seeing as he helped Osamu last night. The young lord could had left him in the street and not be bothered by him but he did not. This meant that Lord Tobio at least had a heart to care about other so why the hell was he acting as if Osamu had kicked his dog in the stomach? That being said, Osamu remembered what his suspension meant for the young lord's riding lesson. So he told Lord Tobio (after coughing loudly to get his attention) that for the unforeseeable future the lessons were to be stop.</p><p>"Is Mikasa fine?" Lord Tobio immediately demanded.</p><p>"Don't worry, she's alright. But- " Osamu considered lying but decided to go with the truth; the young lord would found out anyway if the student gossip network did its job. "I'm suspended and don't think I'll be working in the school long." He hated how his voice faltered near the end but at least his face did not crack.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Change of scenery," Osamu shrugged. Just because he admitted his suspension it did not mean he was comfortable getting into the nitty-gritty of the whys. Besides, it was not any of Lord Tobio's business to know about Osamu's unpopularity with the grooms and some of the student. Lord Tobio did not find the answer satisfactiory and contiuned to demanded the whys. Osamu, in return, gulped his tea for a long time to which Akaashi took the hint to change the subject. When the young lord did not take head ("Was that why you were so drunk last night? Do you have a drinking problem?" Here Osamu snapped that he did not have a drinking problem and that last night was the first time he drank more than a cup, Akaashi directly told him to drop it.</p><p>Lord Tobio followed the order despite obviously not wanting to. But he seem to have a certain amount of respect toward Akaashi that was nonexistent in his treatment of his fellow classmate. In fact, respect did not seem to be the only sentiment present in the young man's regard toward his friend - which might explained Lord Tobio's recent agitated attitude toward Osamu.</p><p>In an act of getting an orange from the breakfast tray that was set on the bedside table, Osamu toppled over and, as he had hoped, Akaashi caught him before he fell over the bed. The action brought the two men close so that Osamu was slumped on his shoulder. A quick glance to the side revealed a look of deep shock that changed to a dark scowl on Lord Tobio's face.</p><p>
  <em>Now that's telling.</em>
</p><p>"Sorry! Guess my head still a bit light," Osamu exclaimed, his intonation neither too high nor too causal. Akaashi accepted his apology and Lord Tobio returned to scowling at the window, this time he folded his arms as he leaned against his chair. Yet, he couldn't seem to stop himself for taking small peeks at random intervals. The fourth time the young lord did this, Osamu lightly touched Akaashi's hand with his fingers as he accepted another cup of tea. Akaashi blinked at him in adorable confusion while Lord Tobio looked like he wanted to murder the window.</p><p><em>He's jealous</em>, Osamu thought in delight. Lord Tobio had a crush on his friend! A mischievous sprit appeared within Osamu's heart urging him to continue on teasing the young lord by full on flirting with Akaashi. But he immediately stumped the spirit down as doing so would be placing Akaashi in an awkward position.</p><p>The editor noticed the tension in his young friend and asked what was the matter. The answer was harshly given and immediately the young lord's face froze at his rudeness. Akaashi did not seem to mind and only poured him more tea.</p><p>Poor Lord Tobio - infatuated but unsure on how to act or what to say. It was an adorable image. </p><p>Akaashi left soon afterward when the assistant editor knocked with an emergency. The moment the door closed Lord Tobio started asking (demanding) an explanation as to why Osamu won't be at the school any longer. His persistent was commendable but unnecessary - he couldn't understand why the young lord cared so much. He had never shown this much interest in Osamu before. </p><p>"I am goin' sleep. M' feelin' a bit tried!" Osamu yawned for good measure and sank into the bed. "Ya not gonna interrogate an ill man, are ya?"</p><p>"You are not ill, just hang-over."</p><p>Osamu answered by turning around so that his back was to the young lord. He also covered his head with the blanket for good measure. But even this was not enough of a hint since the young lord took a seat in the sofa Akaashi vacated and said, in a very challenging, holier-than-thou tone, that he was free all day and he don't mind waiting on Osamu.</p><p><em>Stubborn, stubborn man</em>! Feeling the last of his good humor leave, Osamu retched open the blanket, sat up, and hissed, "do ya like watchin' men ya don't know sleep? Who would've though a lord of yer <em>status </em>is such a pervert!"</p><p>"I'm not a pervert!" Lord Tobio angrily exclaimed, his face now a tomato.</p><p>"Actions say otherwise."</p><p>And the two men stared at each other; one provocative, the other defensive. Neither wanting to look away for doing so would be forfeiting - exactly what they were forfeiting neither knew but both knew they rather spend the night in the ditch in the cold than let the other win.</p><p><em>Just one more push</em>, Osamu thought. "Hmm, is that why ya brought me here?" - his voice soft as he lifted his hand toward Lord Tobio's face; the action had the young lord taking a deep breath- "Got some savior kink? Well, I'm not sayin' no to role-play but ya gotta be more honest here. Boundaries are so easy to overstep, don't ya agreed, darling?" Then, he lightly stroke the soft skin underneath the young lord's chin.</p><p>Lord Tobio immediately leaned away with such speed that he fell onto the floor. Before Osamu could asked him if he was alright, the man was already out of the room. With one last glare, he slammed the door so hard it was a miracle none of the window glasses broke.</p><p><em>Finally!</em> Osamu thought, a small smile appearing despite himself. He dropped back onto bed, wrestled the pillow into a more comfortable shape before closing his eyes. It really was a pity he would be leaving Shiratorizawa soon, just when he was starting to get to know Lord Tobio Kageyama. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello!! I am so sorry for the month long disappearance. This chapter just refuse to be written and it had been a hectic month for me but the chapter is finally written so YAYYYY!!!! To all those who had commented for the past chapters, thank you very much!! I do intend on replying them but do know that they have been very encouraging and motivating!! I hope you enjoy this chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 14</strong>
</p><p>- <em>three months and twenty nine days before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>A week following his drunken misadventure, Osamu found himself in front of the door of Mujinazaka Publishing at a quarter past nine. The company was in the more well-to-do part of the city going by the spaciously-ordered row of buildings, clean sidewalks, and respectable looking carriages.  </p><p>Osamu pulled his hat down so that only parts of his eyes were visible to passersby as he rang the door bell. The door opened to reveal a young woman dressed in a simple shirt, vest, and dark pants. There was a sleepily look about her that hinted of one who found most things in life entertaining and not easily angered. She asked in a sing-song voice, "Sebastian, yes?"</p><p>After a nod was given, she flung open the door. The entrance-way was well lit by the glass doors and windows, showcasing a staircase and a small hallway that went to the far back of the building, where a dull sound of machinery could be heard mixed with the smell of fresh ink.</p><p>"You're a bit earlier than expected. Akaashi had stepped out for an errand but he will be back soon. You can wait for him in our office," the woman said. She started up the stair with Osamu following close behind. "I'm Yukie, the editor of <em>The</em> <em>Window</em> - the women's magazine, " she explained at the small confusion Osamu allowed on his face, "Mujinazaka publishes two magazines; <em>The Owl House</em> being the other one of course. The two magazines shared the same space, so Akaashi and I end up sharing some of our staff - mostly illustrator and printers."</p><p>"The publisin' company's the entire buildin'?" Osamu asked. He was quite sure Akaashi had mentioned this but his memory of his hangover morning had been hazy at best.</p><p>"The first and second floor are. The two floors are living spaces for when we had to stay overnight. Sometimes, they are rented to Akaashi's friends when they are visiting the city; he owned the building. "</p><p>They arrived on the second floor. The doorway to the publishing office was blocked by two men trying to maneuver a rectangular box into the room.</p><p>"What's that?" Osamu asked.</p><p>"A coffin - Alisa, my head illustrator, wanted to draw one for Udai's story but she never seen one before so I pull some strings to get one here," Yukie explained. "Better than going to a funeral home or a graveyard. Although," - a sly smile appeared- " the last one would be fun to do."</p><p>"Ya don't burn yer dead?"</p><p>"Oh no, we rather put them in boxes and buried them underground. You don't do that in Lyson?"</p><p>Osamu shook his head. In Lyson and Astoria, the dead were burned after funeral rites were fulfilled. In addition to the practical reason of not having to create separate spaces for burial, the idea was that the burning could do away any lingering curses the dead might had on their unsuspecting relatives and neighbors. Not that it stop said relatives from collecting the ashes and placing them in jars or around the houses for protections against evil spirits. Astorians were superstitious to a fault. It was a wonder the royal family survived to this day with their habits of consulting palm readers and star-seekers before their advisors on issue of taxes and legislations.</p><p>Osamu's mother was no such person and had stated she preferred her ashes to be scatter in the wind than confined in a room collecting dust. Thus, when she died and her body burned, Osamu and Atsumu had collected her ashes and bits of bones that had not perished with the flames and spread them, along with jasmine, her favorite flowers, in a small stream in the mountains behind the palace, a favorite spot of hers. Osamu thought that was a far better way to celebrate the passing of a loved one than burying them six feet under. Did Celestian ever considered the possible of the corpse becoming possessed by a vengeful spirit, thus allowing them to walk around wrecking havoc?</p><p>The coffin was placed in the middle of a large room that seem to take up the entire floor. The high-ceiling windows on both sides of the area allowed sunlight (a rare occurrence this winter) to illuminated the glass lanterns, dark machines, and small corners between desks. The air was filled with coffee, paper, and ink. There were about seven people in the room; all of whom stopped their activities to watch the coffin placement.</p><p>"Thanks for bringing it over," Yukie said to one of the carrier. She opened a slim book and produced a few <em>Jens</em>. The carrier took the cash, tipped their hats, and left - all the while gambling about how heavy the darn thing was.</p><p>A pretty woman with platinum blond hair gasped in delight as she observed the coffin. "This is perfect! Thank you so much for doing this!" She cooed.</p><p>"No problem, Alisa. Though its Konoha you should be thanking as he's the one who found the funeral home willing to lend it.  He's suppose to return with the coffin," - Yukie looked around - "have you seen him?"</p><p>"Oh no, I just arrived," Alisa tapped the lid of the coffin, "I wonder what the inside look like- "</p><p>Osamu was just thinking how funny it would be if there was a body in it when the lid sprang open and a <em>body</em> jumped out with a loud groan no different from a dying whale. Alisa jumped away with a yell, along with the other editors - one of whom started swearing from high heaven to hell. Osamu wouldn't admit he too had jumped in fright but would easily admitted he started chuckling when the man who had jumped out of the coffin started laughing out loud.</p><p>"Goddess, you all should see your faces!" The man hollowed between laughter. He was smacked at the back of his head by two of the editors.</p><p>"What the hell, Konoha?"</p><p>"What you do that for?"</p><p>"Oh, come on, it's all for a laugh!" Konoha sniggered.</p><p>"You shouldn't treat things associated with the dead so candidly," a tall, serious looking man stated.</p><p>Konoha shrugged and made to get out when Alisa suddenly exclaimed.</p><p>"Wait! Stay as you are." She picked up a board from a desk and a couple of pencils. "That's perfect for my sketch. I need you to stay like that for a few minutes."</p><p>"You're joking," Konoha exclaimed, but he stayed as he were. "You sure it's just for a few minutes?"</p><p>"Maybe an hour."</p><p>"Oh come on, Alisa!"</p><p>"Bet you wished you never stepped inside that thing," one of the editor teased. Konoha gave them a mocking smile.</p><p>With the excitement of the scare gone, the editors were back to their works. Chairs scraped against the wooden floor as they sat down, the typewrite started, and papers ripped as Yukie and Osamu walked toward the other side of the room where the head-editors office was.</p><p>In the spirit of the open workspace, the head-editors office was visible to the eyes of its staff by large windows on the other sides of the door. However, when Yukie closed the office door, outside sounds became muffled as if someone had glued cotton balls onto Osamu's ears.</p><p>"You can wait here while I get the tea. Mind you, don't touch anything over there,"- Yukie pointed at a large table in which a large sheet was laid out and smaller papers were arranged in a neat fashion on top- "its next month edition and the last thing we need is to get them mismatched. The last time it happen, I didn't sleep for two nights straight!"</p><p>Osamu took a seat in front of a dark writing desk that was no doubt Akaashi's as the other writing desk was more messier in its appliances. However, a closer inspection showed such observation was a bit misleading. Akaashi's desk held a curious collection of small owl figurines that was more comical than serious - they were objects one would find at a country fair rather than an antique shop. Osamu also spied a tin box of cookies stacked between two books in what must be the most poor method of concealment. It was so out of place for a stoic man like Akaashi but hinted the existence of some childishness. There was no portrait of the man in question nor or his family but Osamu supposed it would be uncomfortable to showcase one's family in such an open workspace.</p><p>All the same, the room did little to keep Osamu's attention and ten minute past his arrival, he was bored enough to think back to the series of events that led him here.</p><p>To put it simply, he was not fired nor was he fined by the university.</p><p>The reason given to this extraordinary show of good will was that the family who had complained about the statue destruction had recanted on said complaints and was going to pay for the repair themselves as they felt it was unfair to place such a burden on an outsider. Osamu privately called bullshit as there was nothing nobilities loved more than seeing those who wronged them (whether by accident or by intention) be punished. As far as the Usuri family was concerned, Osamu was the drunken groom who was dumb enough to earn their wrath. What better way to make sure he learned his lesson by imposing onto him the monetary value of a clump of white rocks?</p><p>Therefore, he was not surprised when the manager added that the Usuri family had placed a requirement for their change of mind - Osamu was to work for one of their member in addition to his groom work indefinitely. But what was surprising was that the family member in question was Akaashi.</p><p>"I am Lady Usuri's ward," the editor explained to a flabbergasted Osamu. Akaashi had been present during the meeting Osamu had with the manager and the stable master after his three-day suspension was up. The entire time, Akaashi had acted as a complete stranger. Osamu understood discretion and had acted accordingly; yet even he could not help but demanded - via eye contact- an explanation to this astonishing pedigree. "She had heard my magazine is needing some extra hand so she suggested I take you in as payment for her generosity."</p><p>Despite his flat tone, the irony was obvious.</p><p>Akaashi had not stayed for long after the meeting due to some engagement but he had asked Osamu to come to Mujinazaka at the end of the week to start his new job. </p><p>Both Gin and Suna were also struck dumb by this good fortune as they were not ignorant to the true culprit of the statue destruction. When Osamu had returned to Inarizaki following his drunken night escapade, Gin had practically flew toward the door and demanded an explanation over the rumors already circulating around the university of Osamu destroying a statue in a drunken vengeance toward the headmaster for firing him over his cajoling with a student.</p><p>Instead of being angered by another baseless tale, Osamu had laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of it. That was enough for him to swallowed his embarrassment and tell his two flat-mates about Satoshi. For the next hour, three men exchanged insults against the manager, Egghead, Satoshi, the nobilities, and the school. Gin was more subdued in his insults compare to Osamu and Suna but he was very angered by the wrong that was placed on Osamu and was very vocal in bringing the matter to the headmaster. Suna was more cynical and was convinced that nothing could be done for Satoshi had the backing of the people that matter. When the matter of money was brought up, Suna stated that Osamu could just cook and do housework in exchange for room and board until he get a job. Gin saw no argument against the idea and money was not mentioned again despite Osamu's multiple tries to talk about it.</p><p>The conversation than turned to Akaashi when Gin mentioned the editor's messenger arriving around noon to convey to them of Osamu spending the night at his house. This was said with such meaningful glances that Osamu declared (with an eye roll) that no, he did not sleep with Akaashi; no, he did not plan to; and no, he will not explain how he got to Akaashi's house in the first place because it was none of Gin's business. The look of hurt that passed through his flat-mate's eyes had Osamu regretting his harsh outburst (Suna's disapproving "now look at what you done" expression, which consisted of two raised brows over bored-looking eyes also heightened the guilt); thus, he reluctantly admitted to getting drunk (minus the bar fight). He immediately wished he hadn't for Gin went into a tirade of worry and questioning that would put any parent to shame.</p><p>"What if ya got mug? It's a good thing Akaashi let ya stay in, who knows what might happen to ya!"</p><p>Lord Tobio's name was not mentioned and Osamu made no move to rectify the mistaken assumption his flat-mates had of Akaashi's role as his savior. Their conversation ended soon after for Gin and Suna needed to retire early as they had the morning shift the next day. But before he left, Suna remarked that Osamu need not worry of being thrown out.</p><p>"What happen was out of your control. It makes no sense for you to leave. Kicking you out makes me and Gin no better than the manager. So don't worry. Just focus on what you need to do."</p><p>Osamu's throat constricted. Once again, his eyes heated and the tell-tale sign of tears had him looking down at his hands.</p><p><em>This is not your fault</em>, that was what Moniwa had said. And yet, it was because of Osamu, Satoshi saw it fitting to start a bar fight. How could the Date owner not realized this?</p><p>"I can go. Ya and Gin don't hafta worry 'bout me no more. I'm not gonna hate ya if ya let me go, I get it. So, ya don't hafta be so noble 'bout this," Osamu admitted. There was something soothing but also heavy of admitting such a thought. But he needed Suna to understand that it was not necessary for him too act such a way. <em>You can walk away from me, you have this </em><em>choice. You don't need to trouble yourself with me no more. </em></p><p>"Noble?" Suna gave a humorless laugh. "I'm not doing this because it's the <em>noble</em> thing. I'm doing this because I feel like it. I'm not going by some moral code on being a good person. I see a friend is having problem so I want to help so I help the only way I can."</p><p>"Friend?" Osamu repeated.</p><p>"Course you are. Why else would I let you stay here." Suna tilted his head. "You don't see me as your friend?" This was said as a matter-of-fact, as if regardless of Osamu's answer Suna wouldn't have minded. But Osamu thought he detected a hint of apprehension in Suna's eyes. It was this that had him blurting out:</p><p>"Didn't know that's an option."</p><p>"It's always an option. Gin thought of you as his friend too. As surprising as it may seem, we like you. Believe me if I didn't, I would have kick you out by the third night. Of course, these things can be one-sided just cause we like you don't mean ya feel the same-"</p><p>"No," Osamu exclaimed, more loudly he had intended for Suna's shoulders twitched, "no. I mean, it's the same. I like ya too; both ya and Gin. Always thought ya two were too kind to me when-" Here, Osamu trailed off as he could no longer find the words that properly conveyed his gratitude, his appreciation, his fondness toward his flat mates - his friends.</p><p>He never felt he had the right to such a title for he had always blow off any invitation to a party or a gathering from Gin or Suna. But he had spend more time with them than anyone else in the city; had learned their dislikes, likes, habits, and beliefs in the early mornings walks toward Shiratorizawa, the late evenings walks to Inarizaki, the dinners at Kakugawa or Niiyama, the lunch breaks in the servants hall, and the random late nights when Osamu was awaken from a nightmare and found either Suna or Gin awake. Some of the happier times Osamu had in the past months had been spend in the presences of these two men. But Osamu being Osamu had not wanted to hope for more out of fear that he would be asking too much; that the good fortune in life would disperse if he were to showcase the care and love he had formed for the two men.</p><p>But Osamu now saw that such an omission was arrogance at best, self-serving at worst.</p><p> "Me too. Friends; I lso think of ya and Gin as my friends. I just don't wanna presume -" <em>Don't want to hope that I could make friends in such a backstabbing world; that someone like me could make friends.</em></p><p>Suna shook his head and gave a smile that was neither mocking nor ironic, "you should tell that to Gin yourself. That's a bigger "thank you" you could ever give him."</p><p>"Bigger than bacon wrapped potatoes?"</p><p>"Good point. Maybe second bigger. I like any flavor ice pops, by the way."</p><p>"I'm not buyin' ya ice pops in the middle of winter."</p><p>"It won't be winter for long." Suna looked out the window. "Soon it's going to be spring," - he looked at Osamu- "so buy me some then <em>and</em> when you find a job."</p><p>Then, without giving Osamu more time to formulate a response or bring the conversation back on track, Suna wished him good night and entered his room, leaving Osamu alone in the dining room. It was not a dismissive action - it was just Suna being Suna. No doubt the man had been more truthful than he had planned to be and was starting to feel awkward of what was going be an emotional, heartfelt consultation. Thus, Osamu found no offence in the action, just affection and good humor.</p><p>Suna, for all his amusement at other's misfortune and lack of care of other's trouble, was a benevolent and considerate person. Of course he was. Osamu knew this from the moment Suna had looked down at him at the Capital harbor and asked if he had any family or friends to go to. When Osamu answered with a negative, Suna took him to Inarizaki where Gin gave him a change of clothes and hot tea. Suna and Gin had never once looked at Osamu and saw him as a burden when so many others would have. By and large, the two men had their own troubles, own skins to look after but they had taken one look at Osamu and had decided that he was someone to help, look after, and support.</p><p>Osamu had always felt uncomfortable by the level of care and worry Gin thrown at him. It was not because he felt like a child in those moments but because he had felt he had not deserved such feelings mainly from someone he had no filial relation to. The only people who had given such unconditional love to the twins had been their mother, the Ojiros, and Kita. Everyone else had looked at the twins as if they were a waste of space and more trouble than they were worth. Some of the ideologies had fed into Osamu's mind for why else had he looked at Suna's taking him to Inarizaki with cold suspension; why else did he treated Gin's care as inconvenience; why else did he shun any other human interaction with justification of looking out for himself. He had been taught that people were only out for what they could get so clearly Suna and Gin had wanted something out of him to give this much damn about him.</p><p>But he had nothing to give them. Now more than ever but still Suna and Gin wanted him to remain in Inarizaki. And he was quite astonish to find that he did not want to leave them either.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Osamu was roughly pulled back to the present when the door to Akaashi's office busted open and a haggard-looking man whirled in. The man immediately slumped onto the sofa that was located at the corner of the room.</p><p>"Akaashi, it's no use!" the man cried, anguish poured out of him at every syllable and every fling of his hands. "Words no longer come to me as easily as last month it's as if all creativity was squeezed out of me and nothing I do can bring it back. I stare at a tree for hours, took a walk, jump rope but nothing. Nothing! I can't think of a logically route for Ralf to take that did not sound idiotic or tragic! Why oh why did I make him such a sentimental character? If he was logical than I had the sense not to make this folly of a plot-" The man stopped when he saw the empty chair behind the desk and the raised eyebrow of Osamu. "You are not Akaashi."</p><p>"Nope," Osamu said, pointing to himself, "Sebastian."</p><p>"Udai," the man returned. He sat up on the sofa with the grace of a cat. His shoulder-length hair was a mess, the heavy bags under his eyes hinted at the lack of sleep, and his pale features told of extended hours under candle light. Osamu was half expecting him to faint. "Sorry about that, I didn't know Akaashi would be gone. He's usually here at this time."</p><p>"No worries," Osamu said. He turned his body so that he was facing Udai. "Ya a writer?"</p><p>"Yes, I write a series for <em>The Owl House</em> and -" Udai stopped himself and cleared his throat, "well, it's a work in progress."</p><p>Finding the man to be more interesting than his own internal musings, Osamu asked what Udai meant by that.</p><p>By the time Yukie arrived (with a steaming pot of tea and two plates of desserts), Udai was laying on the floor in a fetal position, moaning about the self-destructive tendencies of creativity and the imposing limitation of public opinion on imagination. Osamu sat next to him, his legs crossed, with the most attentive expression.</p><p>"Oh dear, story not coming along," she sighed but her face beheld an amused smile as she gave Osamu his cup. He made to get up and help but she waved it away as she too sat down on the floor.</p><p>"Noooooo," Udai groaned. "Yukie, it's a useless endeavor. Maybe I should looked for another profession."</p><p>"One or two sugar?" Yukie asked. She was pouring a cup.</p><p>"Six," Udai stated. Yukie placed only three before passing his cup.</p><p>"Akaashi might want to cancel my series with all my delays," Udai moaned into his tea.</p><p>"It is possible," Yukie stated nonchalantly. Udai groaned even more. </p><p>Osamu reached for the blueberry muffin on the blue plate but <em>The Window</em> editor pulled said plate toward herself.</p><p>"This is mine," she said.</p><p>"All that?"</p><p>"Yes. If you don't want yours, I can take them too," Yukie said, eyeing a particularly tasteful looking egg custard on the white plate. Osamu narrowed his eyes and pulled the plate toward himself like a dragon guarding its treasure trove.</p><p>"So you work for Shiratorizawa?" Udai asked a few minutes later after. "How do you like it?"</p><p>"Alright, I guess," Osamu muttered as he dipped his cookie in to his tea. Despite his bland tone, his heart was beating a war cry over the school's mistreatment of him.</p><p>Working at the stables ever since the statue incident had been awkward at best and hostile at worst. Egghead seem to find it a personal insult that Osamu was able to walk away punishment free while Osamu had found it a personal insult that Egghead had been cheerful of his possible dismissal. Although he tried to hide this dislike, Osamu had started ignoring Egghead's demands and taunts more than ever which in turn angered the groom even more. This bitterness had leaked to the other grooms, who apart from Gin, Kudo and Ikari, had taken to more antagonistic and aggressive route in their treatment of Osamu.</p><p>Many times Osamu had wondered if it would be for the best if he were fired for the grooms were not his only problem. Lady Tachibana's interest over him was no longer amusing but annoying as he now understood the reason of Satoshi's hatred toward him ( however unintentionally her role may be but Osamu was sure she won't be the least bothered by it. In fact, she probably liked the idea of men fighting over her). Thus, Osamu had taken to hiding behind horse stalls and walking quickly out of the room every time he so much as saw her walking toward the stables or heard her voice. And since she usually came around the time he was cleaning the stalls or taking care of the horses, his aversion made it look to the other grooms that he was avoiding work which just open a whole new reason for their dislike.</p><p>At this rate, if someone made an  attempt on his life, it would be like he never left Astoria.</p><p>Yukie snorted. "Sebastian, you can be honest round here- just cause we are a publishing company it does not mean we spread each other business all over the city, we only do that about other people."</p><p>"I'm not other people?" Osamu asked.</p><p>"Nope, starting from today you're one of us. Which mean you can say Shiratorizawa is a hell-hole populated with pretentious nimrod whose only role in society is to populate it."</p><p>Osamu could only blinked.</p><p>"Yukie's an alumni," Udai explained.</p><p>"I don't look like I have the money to attend, do I?" She grinned.</p><p>"Ya don't." Honesty seem to be the best route simply because he felt Yukie could easily tell the truth and lie apart.</p><p>"I got in through a scholarship," Yukie gave a humorless grin, "best day of my parent's life. Still I can't say the school's not without its advantages - give me a clear idea of what I want to do in life."</p><p>"Write about other people business?" Osamu sarcastically asked.</p><p>"Of course not. Steal the nobilities' money."</p><p>"But isn't Akaashi part of the nobility?," Osamu asked in amusement. "Lady Usuri's his guardian."</p><p>"Yes and no. You see, Akaashi's father knew the lady's father. When Old Akaashi died, she decided to adopt his son in the name of their father's friendship or whatever. But Akaashi is <em>only</em> consider a part of the nobility when he is <em>only</em> useful to them. Take you for example, Lady Usuri does not want to be seen as a cheap stake with the business with the statue but she don't want to deal with you directly so she push you onto Akaashi despite the fact that he have his own business to run. The Usuri don't give one damn about him - nor did the other nobilities."</p><p>"But Lord Tobio do," Osamu pointed out.</p><p>"Yes, he's one of the few who cares." Yukie gave Osamu a shrewd look and a teasing smile that signaled Osamu's flight or fight response, "Lord Tobio usually visit us in the weekend. This is like a second home to him."</p><p>Not liking the change of subject, Osamu hummed as he drank his tea.</p><p>"The room you slept in last week was the young lord's, you know."</p><p>Osamu choked as the tea went down the wrong pipe. He started coughing and thumped his chest for good measure.</p><p>"Thought it's a guest room?" He gasped, waving away Udai's concerned look.</p><p>"The guest rooms are more like storage spaces and are collecting dust. There isn't enough time to make space or take the spare sheets out. Besides, it's out of question for you to sleep in Akaashi's room."</p><p>Osamu wanted to ask so much where Lord Tobio slept but Udai was following the conversation with interested eyes so he scowled at Yukie instead. "Ya like buttin' into other people's business, don't ya?"</p><p>"I'm a journalist. Its second nature to ask question. People are like clocks - just listening to the tick and tock is not going to give you an answer on how it work. One need to take the initiative to start asking and prying to find the cogs."</p><p>"So ya tryin' to get a sense of me with all yer yappin'."</p><p>"Essentially."</p><p>"And whatcha find?"</p><p>"I can't really say. You display a great sense of control in your manner and speech, which scream of someone who is very aware of his surroundings. That itself is not unusual but you, Sebastian, are anything but usual, aren't you?" Yukie grinned. "Do you dislike me now?"</p><p>"Don't like people pokin' into my business," Osamu said, mimicking her cool tone. Just the thought of her asking question about him- describing him - to strangers send goose bumps up his spine as if someone was sticking needles over it.</p><p>"Do you want to know why I am?"</p><p>Osamu did not respond. He thought Yukie was harmless given her ditzy, easy-going nature but he saw now it was a mask she wore to get other people's guard down. The way she started the conversation and easily entered specific subject spoke of an observant, cunning nature. He cursed himself for falling for her trap. Despite his cautious nature, his two months away from the Astorian court and his recent conversation with Suna had him forgetting that there was more to people than what they appeared. Eight times out of ten, the kindest people were the most manipulative ones. In the future, he would had to watch what he say or do in front of her.</p><p>The entire time of this tense interview Udai was looking at Osamu with a pensive expression. Once or twice the writer muttered "It could work but what about ...," then a hum was given and more staring. It was quite unnerving. Osamu was half in mind to tell him off when the door opened and revealed a pink-faced Akaashi. The editor had only finished his greetings when Udai suddenly let out a great gasp that caused Osamu and Yukie to jump.</p><p>"That's it!" the writer exclaimed. The gloom from earlier had blown away with the open door and a sunny disposition took over his face. "That's it! I got it! I know how to get Ralf out of it all! I'm going to need -"</p><p>Akaashi produced a small notebook and a pencil seemingly out of thin air, not a hint of surprise or confusion on his face. Udai took the items, fell onto his sofa, and off he went, scribbling away with a nod or a small laugh here and there.</p><p>"Looks like next week edition is still on schedule, " Yukie said. Her cool disposition had melted to that of the sleepily interest she first greeted Osamu with. This was done with such efficacy that it was hard to determine which one was her natural state. Such transitional skill was praise-worthy but one Osamu was reluctant to give, at least until he knew more about her and whether her presence in his life was a threat or not.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>The work that Osamu was to do was simple and less strenuous - he suspected this was a conscious decision on Akaashi's part given that the editor knew of his full time work as a groom. He was to operate an etching press, creating small prints that were to be placed inside <em>The Owl House</em> and <em>The Window</em>. The prints were mostly advertisement that also funded Mujinazaka and small announcements that did not make it to the month edition.</p><p>Osamu had found the former surprising as he was under the assumption the Usuri family funded Mujinazaka. Akaashi explained that since the company was founded by his father, the Usuri family saw no interest to be associated with it.</p><p><em>Then why did Lady Usuri took you as her ward?</em> Osamu wondered but did not asked for Akaashi started explaining the mechanism of the machine and his work schedule for the coming months. Halfway through, it became obvious Akaashi was not going to breach the topic that Osamu was most anxious to discuss so he opened it in the following manner:</p><p>"Ya the one who got the manager to change his mind about firing me, right?" No sign of astonishment appeared on Akaashi's face. The editor started coolly retelling the same bull-shit the manager had given but Osamu was having none of that. "My co-worker told me that the day after ya and I met, two men came to the stables askin' 'bout me. They were askin' questions 'bout what kind of worker I was, if I walk round the school at night, and if he believe I destroy the statue. My co-worker remembered what they looked like cause he hadn't see them before so he knew they weren't students or the faculty. He said one of the man was 'bout average height with short, dirty-blond hair. Kind of sound like Konoha, no?" Osamu nodded his head toward the man who was still posing for Alisa. "Wanna take a guess on how he describe the other man?" In truth, he was taking an educated guess but seeing as how Konoha was the only person in the room that fit such a vague description, he want with it. Besides, there was no doubt as to who the other man was. Who else did Osamu knew had enchanting eyes that scorched ones soul and a pretty face that did not smile or scowl (Kudo, the co-worker, may had gotten a bit poetic near the end).</p><p>Akaashi drew a breath, his face still as controlled as ever, and said, "I suppose it was naïve of me to assume no one would mention it to you."</p><p>"Why didja let Lady Usuri take credit?"</p><p>"Because it's her money that's paying for the damage and her name that give weight to the manager's change of mind. I am simply a messenger."</p><p>"A messenger that saved my butt more time than anyone else."</p><p>A sudden glance to the side. "I'm not sure of that. But why do you want me to admit it?"</p><p>"So I can thank ya."</p><p>Akaashi cleared had not expected such an answer going by his stunned silence.</p><p>"Look, Lady Usuri don't know nothin 'bout me and I doubt she gave a damn that I got no money to pay for the damage. And even if she do gave a damn, why is she okay with me not gettin' fired? Almost everyone want me to get fired. I am lucky to get this much after what happen and I am really grateful of it. But I want to give my thanks to the person who really deserve it not to some snob that don't even know my name."</p><p>"It is nothing." Akaashi modestly shook his head.</p><p>Perhaps to him its nothing, but to Osamu it meant everything that he was able to keep his saving and his job. Because thanks to Akaashi's intervention, the goal of finding Atsumu was rekindled. That in addition to Suna and Gin, Akaashi had renewed Osamu's belief that such a goal was plausible.</p><p>"Thank you," Osamu said. There was so much sincerity in those two words that Akaashi looked up, "I can't explain but ya really help me. And I'm gonna make it up to ya. Ya don't have to worry 'bout yer prints, I'll make sure they come out right."</p><p>Akaashi nodded. While on the outside he was calm and collected, his insides were anything but. The earnestness and gratitude stirred uncomfortably within him for he was not the one who deserved it. Sebastian had been correct in guessing Lady Usuri was not the instigator but Akaashi was not lying when he said he was the messenger. A part of him wanted to reveal the truth but the other part - a larger part- held it back, knowing that to tell would meant breaking a trust that was unconditionally given to him. And so Akaashi kept quiet as Sebastian gush out his appreciation, each word weighted on his stomach and stabbed his back.</p><p>"I am sorry that I was unable to get Lady Usuri to remove her condition which have you working for me," Akaashi said, meaning every word since he knew Sebastian was not the real offender. However, Lady Usuri would not believe his words that it was the action of a lord that damaged the statue (especially since he could not produce a witness to support this despite Yukie and Konoha's efforts). She had been quite insistence on some form of punishment so Akaashi had said the first thing that came to mind.</p><p><em>My magazine needed help</em> - and the rest was history.</p><p>"It's alright. Sides, I don't mind doin' this. Can't have been easy speakin' against to her," Sebastian said. There was no discontent or sarcasm in his tone, only understanding. He had a look about him of one who had seen much of life and had learned to live with it regardless of the path it led him - it was something Akaashi found commendable and his mind returned to the first time he laid eyes on the Lysonian.</p><p>Despite being bed-ridden with a sick countenance and just coming off from an emotional breakdown, Sebastian had given off an air of composure, distinction, and command that was more second nature than conscious effort. It was not what Akaashi expected of a fisherman from Lyson; in fact, if Akaashi was to met him blindfolded, he would had thought he was talking to someone of high social rank. The way Sebastian held the tea cup, the way he sat, the way he held his head, the manner of his words, and the knowledge he expressed from time to time - all indicated an educated, affluent childhood.</p><p>"I knew he was hiding something," Kageyama had said after Sebastian left and Akaashi voiced his impressions.</p><p>"Of what?"</p><p>"Of who he was. It's just something about him that don't sit well with me. He would say the most strangest things but it's not coarse as how Konoha or Suna would talk. At first, he have a formal way of talking but lately he have been speaking roughly but it never felt right."</p><p>Such observations coming from a man well-known for his social ineptitude really spoke to just how besotted Kageyama was with the Lysonian. When Akaashi mentioned this with a hint of teasing, his young friend had flushed and angrily exclaimed that "he was only interested because he did not like Sebastian" and then, went on a rant on the possibility of Sebastian being a conman.</p><p><em>But you still went to him for riding lesson and you still help him in his drunken moment</em>, Akaashi thought but never voiced. He was, however, concerned of the possibility of Sebastian taking advantage of his young friend for Kageyama could be gullible and a bit naive to the ugliness of the human heart. Not to mention, Kageyama was the heir to one of the most well-connected and well-established family in Celeste. Only a fool would disregard this connection. The fact that Kageyama and Sebastian's interactions began with a paid transaction under the guise of riding lessons did not sit well with Akaashi. There was also the way Sebastian treated Kageyama that morning.</p><p>The Lysonian was accommodating but cold toward his young friend but then again Kageyama had been acting in the most antisocial, impertinent manner. Akaashi could not fault Sebastian for being a bit put out by Kageyama's behavior but he felt the man could had at least been more thankful and understanding chiefly because of Kageyama helping him the night before. But no, Sebastian did not seem to regard this fact of any importance and had his attention solely on Akaashi. This had been most uncomfortable for the editor found himself the object of Kageyama's green-eyed glares. All in all, the meeting had not generated a favorable view of Sebastian in Akaashi's mind.</p><p>Although he only met Kageyama last spring, Akaashi had a great fondness for him that was not unlike that of a brother. The circumstances of Akaashi's life at that time had been most turbulence and Kageyama had been one of the few who had stood by his side. This arose in Akaashi a sense of protectiveness toward his young friend. Being an only child, Akaashi supposed this was what elder siblings must felt when they noticed the possibility of their younger siblings being hurt or wrongfully used by someone. It just so happened that in this scenario, the "someone" was Sebastian.</p><p>"You are welcome," Akaashi said, reigning in his memories back to the present. "If you don't mind, can I ask that you do not mention my involvement to anyone else? This business with the statue is very tiresome so I would like to have the talks to stop without additional stories of what 'really happen' and what not."</p><p>Sebastian did not immediately reply. Akaashi wondered if he needed to say more when the man gave his agreeance but was clearly not happy at the thought of Akaashi's involvement going unacknowledged by the general populace. </p><p><em>So Sebastian is someone who has a sense of fairness</em>. <em>Certainly, he does not seem like a bad person but one cannot tell. But, I cannot understand why he was so stiff toward Kageyama.</em></p><p>Akaashi would had to compare notes with Yukie but for now he continued his demonstration of the etching press as Sebastian looked on with great attention. Perhaps it was a good thing to have Sebastian working in Mujinazaka, it was easier to keep a close eye on him.</p><p>***** ***** ****</p><p>That evening, Osamu had just stepped inside Inarizaki before he was out again with Gin and Suna. With all three men feeling more lazy than usual to cook dinner, all agreed that a meal at the Night Market was a good call. Their party of three was than converted into that of five when they met Ōmimi and Akagi on the way.</p><p>The two men were also tenants of Inarizaki; Akagi worked in a bakery and lived on the same floor as Osamu while Ōmimi lived on the ground floor where he operated an informal reading school for children and adult. Both men were a year older and lived in Celeste far longer so they became sort of a mentor and emotional support for Gin on his first arrival of the country. This gave way to a friendship that was based on understanding, respect, and trust which meant Akagi and Ōmimi were frequent dinner guests.</p><p>Even so, Osamu did not knew them well for every time they visited, he hid in his room. At first, he did this due to not having the energy or the emotional space to make conversation with new people. Later it was due to the fact that he saw no advantage in befriending the two men and he much rather take the time to rest so he would be ready for work the next day.</p><p>Realizing how rude and judgmental he had been, Osamu took great strive to greet the two and be more sociable toward them. Ōmimi returned his greeting with a bow while Akagi just started at him. It was a bit awkward but Osamu made no show of it. He would be more cordial but he understood he had passed over the right to initiate an acquaintance with them. The ball was on their court on whether they wanted to invite Osamu into their social group.</p><p>After some discussion on whether the chilly night called for grilled meat or warm soup, the group decided on hotpot when Osamu and Gin both confessed to having never tried it.</p><p>"Fish tofu! Fish tofu," Akagi happily chanted as the five men took a sat at a table that was at the edge of the stall boundary.</p><p>The Night Market was an informal dining area positioned at the edge of the distract Inarizaki was located in. Restaurant stalls opened at sun down to late night as long as the weather permitted. The hotpot stall was one of the biggest and busiest in the market. According to Suna, it was a miracle they were able to secure a table at all. Round tables were arranged in a disordered manner in front of a wooden stall where the food were displayed; pictures of said food were also showcased on the wall and customers were pointing to it as they ordered. Each of the tables had a circular hole for the stove where the pot was to be placed.</p><p>"That shouldn't be the only thing ya order," Ōmimi commented, "better get some vegetable and meat." Akagi exclaimed, with a pout, that meat was expensive and vegetable was tasteless. It seem to be common exchange going by Gin's amused look and Suna's lack of interest.</p><p>"Should we get half-sweet and half-spicy or should would go whole?" Suna asked.</p><p>"Is there a difference?" Osamu asked.</p><p>"The price the same, it's what you put in that they calculate. Let's get half and half, unless we all want the same thing," Suna looked around. Half-half was agreed upon</p><p>A server arrived with plates and chopsticks while another brought the broth and started the stove to heat the pot. It was explained to Osamu and Gin that they could ordered any meat, seafood, or vegetable on the menu to put into the pot to cook. The beauty of hotpot was that everyone's orders would go in the same pot so everyone could get a chance to taste most of the menu. This helped lessened Osamu's temptation to order the entire menu for he was having some difficulties deciding if he wanted one or another. That, he supposed, was the down side of hotpot.</p><p>When Osamu expressed this, Suna snorted and said, "you can never choose no matter the meal. Remember how you took thirty minutes trying to decide you want shrimp fired rice or chicken?"</p><p>"It's a big decision," Osamu gravely expressed.</p><p>"But what if ya 'bout to have yer last meal and ya can only choose one food ? Whatcha gonna chose then?" Akagi asked.</p><p>Osamu was about to say rice but then remembered that the udon was really good; and when he was about to say <em>that</em>, the memory of curry appeared. One after another, every food he had eaten came to mind and each came with the thought of how sad it would be to not eat it one more time. By the time the food arrived and dumped into the pot, Osamu was still unable to provide an answer. While he was suffering an existential crisis, the others were discussing their choice.</p><p>"String cheese," Akagi smiled.</p><p>"Whitefish sashimi," Ōmimi nodded.</p><p>"Bacon wrapped potatoes," Gin licked his lips.</p><p>"Ice pops," Suna said.</p><p>"Seriously?" Akagi exclaimed. "Come one Suna, there gotta be a limit to how much ice pops ya eat."</p><p>"Big talk coming from someone who always have string cheese in hand."</p><p>"At least they don't melt in my hand."</p><p>"Ya must really like food," Ōmimi observed to Osamu, who was looking more and more distress over his indecision.</p><p>"It's the backbone of livin'," Osamu said.</p><p>"Nay, ya like it too much compare to us folks," Gin stated. "But ya got 'the gift' so that's understandable."</p><p>"Gift?" Akagi and Ōmimi asked the same time Osamu muttered, "ya don't need to call it that."</p><p>"See, Sebastian here can remember every food he taste," Gin proudly boasted.</p><p>"Really?" Akagi exclaimed, leaning against the table, his face hovered dangerously above the steaming pot. "So ya don't forget anything ya eat? How does that work?"</p><p>"Dunno," Osamu said. Although he was trying to appear unaffected, he couldn't help but sat straighter in pride over this so-called 'gift.' "I just do. Like if I eat a food and eat it again later, I can tell if the taste's off or if another person make it."</p><p>"Ya know how there're three cooks at Shiratorizawa? Sebastian can always tell who cook lunch. Mind ya, the cooks aren't too happy 'bout that."</p><p>"That's because he keep on criticizing them on their cooking; saying 'don't put too much salt,' or 'that's a lot of peppers,'" Suna said.</p><p>"Ya gotta admit Miyuki put too much salt. Especially on rice," Osamu stuck out his tongue at the horrible memory, "I can barely swallowed it. It's enough to exorcise spirits!"</p><p>"But you got gull for someone who never cook in his life."</p><p>"Well, that's a waste." Akagi said, "imagine if ya can cook, ya could easily recreate food and we don't hafta go to pricey places to buy things."</p><p>"Good food come from good ingredients," Ōmimi pointed out, "and some ingredients are very expensive."</p><p>"Let me dream!" </p><p>"Do ya think the food's good to go?" Gin asked, making to stand up so that he could look into the pot. Ōmimi waved him down as he himself stood up and started stirring the content in the pot.</p><p>"Need some more minutes," he said.</p><p>"So how's the beautiful Akaashi today?" Suna asked. Osamu shot him an unamused look. First Lord Tobio and now Akaashi, Suna sure enjoyed giving unwanted insinuations. But Osamu supposed the latter was more his fault as he had unconsciously hinted that Akaashi was stunning to look at. Suffice to say Suna had latched onto this like a starfish on a flat surface even though Osamu's interest toward the editor was more surface-level attraction than anything else.</p><p>"Akaashi?" Akagi said. "That name sound familiar."</p><p>"He's the editor of <em>The Owl House</em>," Osamu said but Akagi shook his head.</p><p>"Nay, that's not it. Ōmimi, have ya heard of Akaashi? Kind of sure I did, think it got somethin' to do with the nobilities."</p><p>"He's Lady Usuri's ward," Ōmimi and Osamu said at the same time. Both men looked at each other in surprise.</p><p>Akagi snapped his fingers, "that's the one. Made a big splash on the news 'bout him becoming adopted by a lady a year ago."</p><p>"A year?" <em>Thought he was adopted when he was a kid</em>, Osamu thought. But Akaashi never did mentioned the duration and Osamu only made the assumption for why would a lady adopt an adult man?</p><p>"I'm sure it was. Yup, it was my cousin's birthday and she was sayin' how some people get all the luck in the world - she read his story on the paper. Do ya know him?"</p><p>"He's my new boss."</p><p>"Thought ya work with Gin at the university."</p><p>"I did," Osamu started explaining what happen but before he could continue on, Akagi snapped his fingers again as a look of understanding came upon him.</p><p>"Wait, wait, are ya the groom who almost got fired for gettin' frisky with a student."</p><p><em>Oh, you got to be kidding me</em>.</p><p>"I didn't get frisky with anyone! Was blamed for breaking a stupid statue and the Usuri family got their pants in the twist that I gotta make up for it. That's how I got workin' for Akaashi," Osamu hotly growled. At the corner of his eyes, he noticed Suna looking very amused. "Where ya heard that stupid rumor from any way?"</p><p>"Me cousin, the one I'm talking 'bout, had a friend who work as a maid up in the school. So ya didn't sleep with anyone?" Akagi looked very disappointed by this less scandalous turned of event. Osamu almost rolled his eyes. At least this explained why Akagi and Suna got along very well.</p><p>"Nay and ya can tell her cousin that she shouldn't believe everything she heard and not to spread things 'round."</p><p>"Well, there goes the age of gossip. Who knew that all it need was some stern words from you to put it to end," Suna muttered.  Osamu ignored him.</p><p>Ōmimi gave his two <em>Jens</em> by stating that gossip was an unnecessary pastime that do much bad than good. Osamu decided from there that Ōmimi was the sensible one apart from himself and Gin.</p><p>"Ya know lots of people are still talkin' 'bou it," Gin said, "guess ya not gettin' fired as a twist they didn't expected."</p><p>"Never knew I was so popular," Osamu sarcastically muttered.</p><p>Gin gave a humorless grin, "well, since ya get even Lord Tobio interested that's sayin' something."</p><p>A harsh clang sounded in Osamu's head but the loud yell that followed afterward told him that he had not imagined the sound. A group in the stall next door seem to had too much to drink for one of them had started a fist fight with another of their party. While Akagi, Suna, and Ōmimi were distracted by the fight, Osamu pulled Gin closer and asked in whisper what he meant by "Lord Tobio bein' interested."</p><p>"Ikari never toldja?"</p><p>"I haven't seen him since last week. He's on vacation, 'member?"</p><p>"Oh, that's right, it was durin' yer suspension when he told me. Apparently, Lord Tobio asked him 'bout ya."</p><p>"'Bout what?"</p><p>"'Bout why ya got suspended and all that. Ikari said he was really interested to know if ya really knock the statue or not."</p><p><em>How did he know about the statue</em>? Osamu thought. "Is that all?"</p><p>Gin thought about it and said that it was.</p><p>"Do ya know when Lord Tobio talked to Ikari?"</p><p>Gin thought some more and said that it must had been the day after Osamu got suspended "cause Ikari mentioned 'bout how weird it was not to see ya in the morning since ya always work that day. It's the first day of yer suspension, right?"</p><p>And the very day Osamu woke up in Lord Tobio's bed in Mujinazaka - which meant the young lord must had returned to the university after Osamu left.</p><p>"What's goin' on, Sebastian?" Gin asked. There was a shrewd look about him that Osamu did not like. He quickly stated that he was just surprise Lord Tobio even bother to ask.</p><p>That seem to be answer enough for Gin said, "I know. He's like the last person to be interested in these kind of talk."</p><p>Nothing more was said between them as the other members of their party returned to them for the fight had been separated and the instigator thrown out by the Market Patrol.</p><p>"We can start diggin' in," Ōmimi stated. He started taking the others' bowl and filling it with the hotpot's contents. A small cloud of white lifted from the bowls as they were handed back to their owners. As Osamu watched the golden stream of the soup fell into his bowl, his mind went over what Gin had revealed in contrast to his own view of past days.</p><p>So Lord Tobio had asked about him and the very next day Akaashi and Konoha were asking about him around the stables. There was no way this was a coincidence.</p><p>He hadn't seen the young lord since that morning. The first three days were understandable as Osamu was in Inarizaki waiting out his suspension by looking at job advertisement in the newspaper (a hard thing to do seeing as his reading level was that of a toddler) but at no time in the week after Osamu came back did Lord Tobio visited the stables. Not for his riding lesson nor for his usual walks around the University greens. Since the young man had yet to send a message indicating his wishes for terminating said riding lessons, Osamu could only assumed that he was being avoided.</p><p>Osamu deeply regretted the way he had behaved toward the young lord - he should not have teased him. Because really, what did he think would happen when he teased and flirted with him? It was wrong of him to assume that he could treated the man in such a way when said man had helped him in more ways than one that night and the next day as it turned out.</p><p>Akaashi had claimed that he learned of Osamu's predicament from Lady Usuri during a family dinner, which occurred on the very day Osamu had slept over in Mujinazaka. But even if that was the case, why would Akaashi had step up to alleviate Osamu's punishment when neither men knew each other very well. Osamu had some vague notion that Akaashi only talked to Lady Usuri because the editor found him being fired an unjust punishment. It was a weak theory and tried as Osamu might, he had been unable to get a clear explanation out of Akaashi of the issue.</p><p>However, if Lord Tobio was involved in this that might explained - in some way or another- as to why Akaashi helped. Osamu remembered that the young lord had been very interested as to the reason of his suspension and at the time, Osamu had wrote it off as a student's curiosity and a need for gossip but Lord Tobio, as Gin rightly stated, was not the type of person to gossip. In fact, he always seem to be the last person up to date with the latest scandal (Suna being always the first to know). So for Lord Tobio to even went as far as questioning Ikari of Osamu's suspension spoke a level of consideration that no person would gave to a stranger.</p><p>But were Osamu and Lord Tobio really stranger?</p><p>Their riding lessons may had meant they were more of a mentor and a student but even then they never really talked about anything else apart from horses and riding procedures. They never even interacted outside of the stables. Whenever Osamu walked the school ground and saw the young lord, he was always ignored by Lord Tobio. Osamu understood it was out of propriety and the need to keep the lesson a secret but he had felt chafed all the same. It was like a reminder of the difference between them in term of class standing  and just how far Lord Tobio was from Osamu. Therefore, he returned the sentiment by treating the young lord in a stiff manner. And yet, it was the young lord who saved Osamu that night - there was no question about that. Osamu might had gotten a fever or woke up in some weirdo's bed if Lord Tobio had not stepped in. Also, based on what Yukie slipped out, Lord Tobio had given up his bed for Osamu to rest. And wasn't the young lord present by Osamu's bedside when he woke up? How long had the young lord sat there? Why had Osamu not even questioned it? There was no way Lord Tobio viewed Osamu as a stranger despite Osamu thinking of them as such.</p><p>Another idea came to mind. What if Lord Tobio in his questioning Ikari had realized, some way or another, that Osamu was not the true culprit. If he told Akaashi this, it might be what promoted the editor to talk to Lady Usuri. Of course this was just conjectures, after all won't Akaashi tell the truth this morning when Osamu was thanking him to high heaven? But Akaashi hadn't be really respective of his thanks, was he? It was something Osamu had noticed but he took it to mean the man was being modest. But what if that was not the case. What if Lord Tobio had something to do with Osamu getting off free and Akaashi knew this but for some reason would not tell Osamu.</p><p>"Sebastian, ya good?" Akagi asked. His face appeared before Osamu's vision, promoting him to jump in surprise.</p><p>"Wha- oh, yeah," Osamu scratched the back of his head as his thoughts rearranged themselves. He was going to question Gin more when his eyes fell on his bowl. It was the most beautiful thing he ever seen, fish tofu, pork balls, crab legs, bamboo roots peeked out against the golden surface; the heavenly scent that whiffed over his face had him thinking that if he were to die without a taste, he would come back as a ghost and hunt this establishment. His stomach growled loudly in agreeance.</p><p>"Figures, course ya got yer head in yer stomach," Gin laughed as Akagi grinned.</p><p>"Can't help it, can I?" Osamu retailed in good humor as he took a bite of the tofu after dipping it in the sauce. His eyes widen as the taste invaded the rest of his being.</p><p><em>Great</em> <em>Goddess, thank you so much for creating hotpot  - I will never complain about anything ever again</em>!</p><p>Deciding that he would have time later to talk to Gin, Osamu tucked in to his meal, all the while listening with great enjoyment to the anecdotes; reiterated jokes; and talks of anything and everything shared among the table. There was no perfect way of ending a winter night other than a steaming hotpot surrounded by friends.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>- <em>three months and twenty two days before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>As Akaashi was the only person who actually live in Mujinazaka, the guest rooms functioned more as storage for desks, chairs, books, and extra materials that were necessary but too large to be kept on the office floor. Earlier that day, the office had held some sort of writer's circle meeting - one that Akaashi oversaw- to which the extra chairs were transported from one of the room to the office. Osamu arrived later than usual due to said meeting and had volunteered to help Sarukui and Ohaga moved the chairs back in the room after the meeting ended.  </p><p>He regretted this generosity when his thighs cried in pain and his arms screamed under the weight of the two wooden chairs midway through his second lap up the stair. By the fourth walk up, he had to lean against the railing for a break. Over his heavy breathing, he could faintly hear Konoha talking to someone on the second landing.</p><p>"Thanks again for coming. I didn't realized you just arrived today, if I had know I could had rescheduled."</p><p>"It's alright. Partly my fault. Thought I would be here by yesterday but the weather just not cooperatin'."</p><p>"Well I'm just glad you got here safe. There's been a lot of accidents out in sea lately."</p><p>"I heard." A pause. "Ya talkin' bout the shipwreck out in the coast months ago, right?</p><p>"More like the three shipwrecks in the past two months."</p><p>"Three?"</p><p>"Yup. Now you see why I'm happy you are safe. It is just not a good year to travel by sea."</p><p>"But there are survivors, right?"</p><p>"For the two boats but I think one of them had none."</p><p>"What happen to the survivors? Does the city gave them housin' or some help?"</p><p>"The port authority and immigration are suppose to look after them but knowing this city, they probably just pat them in the back, give some spare clothes, and throw them in the street. Not literally," Konoha quickly added, "I'm sure they also help them find a job but unless you got some relative living here, it's tough to get a start."</p><p>"I see."</p><p>The rest of the conversation became dulled by distance and the additional sound of boots on wood but it did not matter for Osamu had stopped breathing sometime in the last minutes.</p><p><em>I'm dreaming</em>, he thought. The voice of the person Konoha was talking to did not belong to anyone in Mujinazaka but he would recognized that voice anywhere. It brought back memories of peach trees, summer days spend under the shades, and afternoons jumping across the stones to the pavilion in the middle of the lake. It was a voice that was both kind and strong because the speaker was a kind and strong person, more than anyone Osamu ever knew.</p><p>Osamu's legs wobbled as he ran down the staircase, two steps at a time ( it was a wonder he did not break his trip and break his neck). His heart thumped blood through his ears as he landed on the first floor just as the front door closed. The speaker's back was dark against the sunlight.</p><p>"Sebastian -" Konoha started but Osamu pushed past him, swung open the door, and rushed out into the sidewalk. For one terrible moment, he thought he lost the speaker for it was noon and the street was very busy. The carriages rode past as the people walked by but the speaker was a tall man - his broad back stood out against the crowd. A back that Osamu last saw at a port city in Astoria, two months ago on a dark night.</p><p><em>He kept his promise</em>.</p><p>"Aran!" Osamu shouted.  His voice vibrated in the air with the clanging of the carriages and mummer of the crowd. The man stopped short and turned around.</p><p>
  <em>It's really him. He is here!</em>
</p><p>Osamu's eyes began to water but he felt no shame nor anger over it for only joy and relief burned within his soul as he pushed against the crowd. The world was brighter than ever before and Aran's face was the center of it. His eyes were wide in disbelief, his mouth hang open then close then open again as if he was saying a prayer or a name; then, he too was running down the sidewalk so that he and Osamu met in the middle. Expect Osamu did not stop, the minute Aran was within his reach he leapt into him - just as he used to do when they were kids. And Aran, like always, caught him.</p><p>A great laugh boomed out of the older man, "<em>I knew it! I knew it! I knew you are alive</em>!"</p><p>"<em>You too, you are alive</em>," Osamu howled in <em>Lan</em>- it had been a long time since he had smiled so much.</p><p>The two men tighten their hold on the other as if to remind themselves and each other that it was not a dream, that they really were there. The wary eyes from the moving crowd and irritated call outs were unnoticed for they were nothing to the fear, the worry, the exhaustion that had strangled Osamu and Aran's bones and hearts for the past months. But in that one moment, when the missing presences of two other people had yet to enter the two men's minds, they were at peace and content over this miraculous reunion.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 15</strong>
</p><p>Two months were too short of a time for great changes to occur, but it was enough time for <em>some</em> changes to occur. Aran had grown a beard; it sharpened his jaw and gave him an air of maturity that was always present in him ever since he was ten years old. There was also wariness in his eyes and a tiredness in the set of his shoulders that told of the anxiety, stress, and fear he was living under for the past months. But while his exterior had changed, his interior was the same. Aran asked after Osamu, of his health, of Kita, of Atsumu, of everything but himself. Wanting to put off talking about Atsumu and Kita and wanting to know more about Aran himself, Osamu shot back with his own questions of "<em>how are you? How did you get here? How did you know Konoha? How's your family? Are they fine? Were they arrested -were you?</em>"</p><p>With such confused questionings and answers, made even more confusing by the emotional hurricane each man was undergoing, they composed themselves and started over.</p><p>They were in one of the guest room. Akaashi's father was a private man and had invested a lot incorporating thick walls and locks; as such privacy was more secure than sitting in a park outside. The tables were pushed to the side so that they could walk around without knocking anything over. There was so much to talk about; they must had walked the entirety of the room twenty-five times (with numerous pauses and sit-downs) before all that was important was exchanged and all that needed to be felt was felt, expressed, and soothed.</p><p>Aran was devastated by Atsumu and Kita's absent; the former was his dearest friend (in addition to a constant source of headache) and the latter was the love of his live. This was a heavy blow indeed. Osamu could not bear to have Aran suffered more than a minute so he quickly insisted that their being missing did not meant their deaths. It took a while for Aran to accept this for he had spend months in constant agony over the wellbeing of Kita and the twins that upon seeing Osamu in the crowded street he had believed he was to see Kita again and very soon. The fact that this meeting was postponed indefinitely and the lack of concrete information on the whereabouts and what happens of Kita and Atsumu was too much for the spirit that hope could not immediately reappear.</p><p>Osamu was not deterred with such dark thoughts despite similar thoughts having haunted him in the weeks before. How could he feel hopeless now when Aran was here? <em>Aran Ojiro was here</em>, in front of him, flesh and blood. His friend may be wary but he was safe; that itself was something to be happy about. Everything would be alright for if he and Aran could meet in such an uncoordinated, coincidental manner than surely Atsumu and Kita were safe and would be found. Osamu had never been more happy or hopeful that he hugged Aran again just to do something. His friend was surprised at this display of emotion for Osamu was never one for such dramatic exclamations and actions (that was all Atsumu) but he took it in stride for he understood the need to touch, the need to be sure that it was not a dream.</p><p>"<em>Kita's too smart</em>," Osamu whispered in <em>Lan</em>, the language flew easily out of him despite having never spoken it for the past months. It was like humming a song one haven't heard for a long time but remembered well. "<em>He's fine, I know he is</em>."</p><p>"<em>Yes</em>," Aran returned, his tone a mixture of heartache, hope, detachment, and determination.</p><p>"<em>He is. He's the Goddess's favorite child after all!"</em></p><p>Aran snorted. "<em>He hated being called that</em>."</p><p>"<em>Well, it's true. No one's more god-like than him</em>."</p><p>"<em>You won't think of the possibility? Because if you give yourself too much hope and it turned out he is</em>-"  Aran closed his eyes, his lips trembled but he carried on, "<em>that they're gone, you will be disappointed</em>."</p><p>"<em>I had thought of it. Would a lie if I say I haven't but I decided I rather hope than be sad about it. I won't believe it till I see it. And if I did see it... then, I will deal with it. But till then I'm not thinking of anything else. Aran, you never thought you'll find me here but you did. That's something, right?</em>"</p><p>"<em>Too much that I'm afraid of having the rug pulled under me</em>." Aran was silent for a while. Osamu said nothing for he saw his friend needed time to think. Aran looked out the window where the dull sky hang over the black roofs of the buildings on the other side of the street. "<em>The past two months, I was feeling everything and nothing; I was hoping too much and not hoping enough. Your uncle announced your "deaths" about a week after I saw you, Kita, and Atsumu off. I did not believed it at first but when I learned about the shipwreck, I almost lost hope. I didn't know which ship the three of you were on but <span class="u">that ship</span> was going in the same direction and I thought about how horrible it would be if Kita and you were on it. Then, the safe house got raided and I was almost found out. There was a chance your uncle had found something in the safe house that lead him to where you were going</em>," -Aran shook his head- "<em>Goddess, there had been missteps trying to get you and Atsumu out of Vega, only for it all to go to hell when you two were out of the country. It was suppose to be a relief when you were on the ship. As much as I want to see the good, I can't be blind about the bad and the possibility. The fact that I find you so easily means your uncle can find you too.</em>"</p><p>Osamu felt his stomach dropped. "<em>I didn't think of that</em>."</p><p>"<em>I'm not trying to burst your bubble</em> <em>but just because we found each other doesn't mean everything is going to be fine. We still need to be vigilant. First thing first, it's to make sure you are safely hidden</em>."</p><p>"<em>But what about you? You said you also got found out. Did my uncle hurt you ? Your parents, Lady and Lord Ojiro, are they safe</em>?"</p><p>"<em>They are all fine. My mother's worried about you but she is made of sturdy stuff. They both are and they meet your uncle head on</em>," Aran grinned, it was the first smile that was not melancholic, wistful, or grief-stricken but mischievous. "<em>He thought he could make a case against me but the alibi my father and Kita contrived was good enough to undermine it. Plus, the only thing he got going for me was that I was your friend and that our mothers were close. If being friends was a crime, I would had been charged with treason. But I suppose even the nobility got some standards</em> ("<em>That's a first</em>," Osamu muttered dryly). <em>My parents being well-liked might have help them since imprisoning them was a good way of getting on the people's bad side and your uncle wanted all the good points he could get</em>," - a serious expression appeared on Aran's face- "<em>He still got people to spy on me and my family for awhile. That's partly why I couldn't leave Astoria sooner. Your uncle thought Kita or you might try to contact me or that I might try to meet with you so he was waiting to see what happen</em>."</p><p>"<em>Like you or Kita be that dumb. But if my uncle had you on surveillance doesn't that mean he believe I am still alive</em>?"</p><p>"<em>Possibly but I think that's him being paranoid than cautious. Though, I suspect it's more of Lady Yumiko's doing. Yes, </em>(Aran nodded at the incredulous look on Osamu's face) <em>we were right</em>; <em>she is a part of this, probably is the head instigator. From what I heard, your uncle rather not think of you anymore then he could help but she prefer to see the two of you dispose off in front of her then in some ocean</em>."</p><p>Osamu let out an abusive remark. It was a mark of how much Lady Yumiko was disliked for Aran did not discouraged Osamu from usage of such words. Not that Osamu would had listened if Aran did. Despite his displeasure toward most people in his life, he only truly despised four people: his father, his uncle, Akihito, and Lady Yumiko, Akihito's mother and his father's wife (Egghead and Satoshi were nothing compare to all four combined). Of course, <em>that woman</em> was involved; who else hated Osamu and Atsumu enough to see that they were not only placed under house arrested but also assassinated in the middle of the night. She was the one who sent the assassin that poisoned the soup during the twins' ninth birthday that led to Atsumu being bed-ridden for five days; she was the one who hired another group to kidnap Osamu during an outing; she was the one who tormented his mother by making her the black sheep of the Astorian court and spreading malicious rumors about her and the twins. Everything wrong in Osamu's life began and ended with <em>that woman.</em></p><p>Her and his father.</p><p>Osamu let out another insult -this time towardLady Yumiko and his father- and gave a swift kick toward one of the desk. It did not toppled over so he kicked it again, walked in a small circle, before stopping by Aran, who was observing him in an unimpressed manner. This sight, in addition to the fact that reckless emotions were against his nature, had Osamu centered himself back to the present by counting to eight with deep breath. Afterward, in a steady voice that betrayed none of the temper from seconds ago, he asked, "<em>what's she doing now? She must have gotten something from trying to get me and Atsumu killed</em>."</p><p>"<em>A mansion in the palace, a place in court, and acknowledgment of her status as the Dowager</em>."</p><p>"M<em>y aunt's fine with that</em>?"</p><p>"<em>Not really but what can she say? Lady Yumiko is the one pulling all the strings. Your uncle listen to her advise more than his advisors; his advisors are only fine with this because she had them in her purse string</em>."</p><p>"<em>Bitch</em>," Osamu spitted once more. He wanted to say more but no word could truly encapsulated his fury and hatred. "<em>But how come you are here? How did you get out if she had you watched</em>?"</p><p>"<em>I am here on a job- I am the guide and companion of a lord visiting Celeste on a diplomatic visit</em>."</p><p>"<em>What</em>?" Osamu gasped. He looked at the window as trepidation, suspicion, and anxiety shot through his heart. "<em>Wait, you said you were being watched -"</em></p><p>Aran quickly let out a placating hand. "<em>Osamu, don't worry. I was not followed. I haven't been followed for days now</em>."</p><p>"<em>How could you know that? </em>"</p><p>"<em>Because Lady Yumiko is not the only one who have people working under her. I also have my network of spies - people who are either loyal to my family or your mother. I will explain but you need to calm down. Osamu, I promise, no one is following me and you are still safe. <span class="u">Believe me</span></em>."</p><p>The two of them were now sitting by a desk, far from the window. Aran held Osamu's hand as the former tried to calm himself from this second whirlwind of sensation that was more paralyzing then the first. The sight of his young friend, one who always had good gasp of himself regardless of the situation, made Aran felt uneasy and helpless. Osamu was the sensible one ... well compared to Atsumu, Aran corrected himself, for Osamu did had his tendency of eccentricities and shenanigans. But Osamu was always one who kept his head and rarely overreact at the smallest issue. Months ago, if the same information were communicated, Osamu would not had frozen up and started looking at his surrounding as if every shadow was his enemy and the wall were paper-thin, ready to shred at the slightest breeze. Aran understood the paranoid for he had felt the same in the months stuck in his parent's manor in Vega as he tried to act as causal as possible while his heart weighted with worry over Kita and the twins.</p><p>But there was a difference between them.</p><p>Trapped and watched as he had been, Aran still had his family to comfort him, people he trusted who supported him, and a good understanding of where his enemies were and what they were doing. Aran had all this to his advantage but Osamu had none to his disadvantage. Osamu had became a more agitated version of his former self - he was paler, thinner, kept glancing at the window and door with narrowed eyes, his hands twitched in suspended nerve, and his emotions were more consuming. Although he was a very friendly person, Osamu now looked at people with deep mistrust and suspicion as seen on the way he treated Konoha with coldness that was more common between strangers than two coworkers. And despite his insistence to hope, Osamu seem to be trying to tell himself this just as much as he was telling Aran.</p><p>This should not be surprising or unusual but Aran had wanted to think the best, even in his worse moments, so he held onto the tiny shred that Osamu was the same Osamu from four months ago. But two months could do a lot to a person even if the change was not obvious at first.</p><p><em>But we are together now</em>, Aran thought, <em>he will be alright. That's right, I am here. I will protect him</em>.</p><p>"<em>Okay, okay</em>," Osamu nodded with a large intake of breath, "<em>right. Sorry</em> -"</p><p>"<em>No need to apologize. Nothing wrong with being afraid</em>."</p><p>"<em>I'm not afraid - just, surprised. That's all</em>."</p><p>Aran did not pressed the matter despite everything pointing contrary to Osamu's words.</p><p>"<em>You shouldn't be here</em>," Osamu suddenly exclaimed causing Aran to give a small jump. "<em>No, we shouldn't be seen together. You better go back to the embassy and I would hide here for awhile before leaving too. And we shouldn't meet anymore</em>."</p><p>"<em>What</em>?" This had came out of the left field that Aran felt a bit whiplash (a small part of him chuckled that his friend was still capable of surprising him regardless of the situation.) "<em>What do you mean</em>?"</p><p>"<em>You are in danger if you are seen with me. Lady Yumiko could use that to hurt you and your parents. This could be a trap to get you. You need to leave now</em>."</p><p>"<em>Hold up, Osamu, I told you that I'm not followed. As far as Lady Yumiko is concern, she does not know you are in Celesta. Remember, the plan was to make it seem like you and Atsumu were going to Kahar by boat - that same boat also got in a middle of a storm by the way which is why most people agreed with your 'death' announcement. But this is also why your uncle think you are dead because his soldiers were waiting in the port for the boat arrival. She have me followed as a precaution; she just want to be extra sure that I have nothing to do with you two. And how do I know all this? Because I have my own people who spy on her. I know the identity of the ones watching on me and my family. None of them were on the ship with me on the way here nor are they part of the Lord's group</em>. "</p><p>"<em>But</em>-"</p><p>"<em>Look," </em>Aran said, impatience littered his tone as his brows folded over his eyes<em>, "things are not fine in Astoria. It was a difficult winter and two regions were flooded which is taking all your uncle's attention. Not to mention there have been unrest among the populace concerning you and Atsumu - some did not believe your "deaths" were accident and suspected your uncle had something to do with it. The nobles who did not side with Lady Yumiko, not a lot but there are some, are also suspicious so she had to be careful in who she talk to or is seen with. There have been talk of a revolution - the people are not happy with the current rule and the fact that taxes had increased; not to mention the possibility of war with Sheni due to dispute over border - anyway, there is just too much going on. Keeping watch on me was just extra work and money lost - money your uncle needed for he and Lady Yumiko had been using far too much than necessary. Osamu, am I someone who would easily go about his day without keeping watch of my surrounding? Am I the type of person who would have immediately acknowledge you in the street and go with you if I knew I was watched</em>?"</p><p>"<em>No, you are not that type of person</em>."</p><p>"<em>Then believe me when I say we are safe. Nothing will happen to me</em>."</p><p>"<em>But how can you be sure</em>?"</p><p>It struck both men that the conversation was becoming a reverse of their previous talk with Aran now the one doing the calming and Osamu the one needed to be calm down.</p><p>"<em>Aran, you have done so much for me. But I can't ask you to keep putting your life in danger. You have your own life and I can't ask you to disregard it for mine. I am not who I was two months ago - I know how to take care of myself now: I have a job, I am becoming good with money, and I'm starting to cook my own meal. I am a nobody here; Osamu Miya mean nothing to these people so I am hidden here. Yeah, you found me but that is just a coincidence. I kept myself hidden for two months, I can do it some more so I don't need you to worry for me</em>." Osamu looked down at his hand, which was littered with faint scars and budding calluses. "<em>I don't want you to get hurt</em>."</p><p>"<em>Osamu</em>," Aran's steady voice vibrated off the stillness of the room, "<em>everything that I have done have been of my own choice. The same for my family - my parents knew what they were getting into the minute they sided with Lady Miya eleven years ago and they knew when they sided with you four months ago. What I do, I did it for myself and for those I care about. I did not save your and Atsumu's life  for some fanciful notion of patriotism or some ideology but simply because you and Atsumu are dear to me</em>." Aran squeezed Osamu's hand that had the younger man looking up. "<em>Don't you think you are being a bit selfish? Making everything your responsibility and dictating what I should and should not do?</em></p><p><em>I know you are looking out for me, but Osamu, I had done a lot and I don't want all that to go to waste. I am too involved; I need to see this end well or I won't be able to live on with my life. I cannot bear to know that my friends are in trouble and that I have not help them when I had the power and means to. It is true that your name may not mean anything now but it still mean something back in Astoria. It mean something to Lady Mika, it means something to my parents, and it means something to me because as long as you live, you are Osamu Miya. And for that you will always have a target on your back as long as your uncle and Lady Yumiko live. That is an indisputable fact, a fact I know you are aware of. But don't push me away, Osamu. You always do that whenever you feel trap in a tight corner, thinking the only way to win is to forfeit yourself. I made a promise to myself months ago that I will protect you. You and Atsumu. That have not change</em>. "</p><p>"<em>And you always keep your promise</em>," Osamu said in a small voice. It was not just Aran's words but the confidence in his tone, the conviction in his eyes that had Osamu's eyes a bit wet. Yet he felt no embarrassment over it for why should he? It was Aran; Aran, who after Atsumu knew Osamu best. "<em>What about Kita</em>?"</p><p>"<em>You told me to hope, and I will hope. I will find him and the two of us will be together again. <span class="u">We</span> are going to find Kita and Atsumu; then, the four of us are going to leave Celesta</em>."</p><p><em>The four of them</em>.</p><p>"<em>You can't say that</em>," Osamu said, "<em>you can't say that and not expect me to agree, you cheater</em>!"</p><p>Aran chuckled and Osamu embraced him again.</p><p>"<em>I'm glad you are alive, that you are okay</em>," Osamu said as he squeezed Aran's shoulder.</p><p>"<em>Me too</em>." Aran squeezed back, "<em>me too</em>. <em>I'm glad you are alive</em>."</p><p>***** ***** ******</p><p>March began under a dull sky and a sudden drop in temperature; the weather was as harsh, formidable, and invasive as ever. A possibility of snow was talked of; many hoped of it being a sign of the coming end of an unusually cold winter. Nonetheless the weather was the last thing on Osamu's mind as his days had fallen into a mundane pattern, a welcome surprise considering the series of emotional, dramatic events that preceded.</p><p>Four to five days a week were spend in the stables from sunrise to sunset. His relationship with the grooms was the same as ever; on the other hand, his relation with Gin and Suna had solidified, deepened, and relaxed as he partook in their errands and outings that also brought him closer to Akagi and Omimi.</p><p>The weekends were spend in Mujinazaka. Due to the easy nature of his work, it left him with more time at his disposal to observe his fellow coworkers, ran errands for Akaashi or Yukie, and explored the building and the rest of Grover Street. He was becoming very familiar with the layout of the areas as he was with Inarizaki and Shiratorizawa.</p><p>Aran's official duty as a guide meant he could not come to Mujinazaka as much as he or Osamu would liked for he would either be touring the city with the lord, pointing out historical landmarks or summarizing biography of important looking statues, or attending dinner parties and dances of which the lord was invited to. On days Aran was free, he had to be careful not to visit the publishing company too often least the lord, who was a supporter of Osamu's uncle, became suspicious. Meeting in Inarizaki was a risk for what if someone recognized Aran? Unlike the twins, Aran was a public figure and had traveled around the country with his family, who were prominent and beloved public figures for the lay-people of Astoria, despite the family's low status among the nobilities. Lord Ojiro was a military hero whose bravery and loyal to the people was rarely overlooked or forgotten while Lady Ojiro was a court official known for her strong support and passing of legislations that benefited laborers and farmers. It would be unusual for the people in Inarizaki (even those born in Celesta) to not have heard of the Ojiros. To test this, Osamu had subtly mentioned Lord Ojiro during a conversation; in a matter of minutes, he learned that not only did Gin, Omimi, and Akagi knew the man but had seen him enough that they might be able to recognized his son.</p><p>Coffee stands and parks were too open for Aran and Osamu's liking. Shiratorizawa was out of the question. Aran had been making a name for himself separate from his family in his career as an Astorian court official, which brought him in close contact with other countries' politicians, diplomats, and important figures in their visit to Astoria - many of whom brought their children. The same children attended Shiratorizawa. It would be difficult to determine how many students remembered or knew of Aran. Privately, Osamu amused himself on what scandalous rumors of himself would spread around the school if Aran was seen visiting him often. Exchanging letters was not considered for it was equivalent to Osamu holding a sign in front of the Astorian Embassy that said "LOOK, I AM ALIVE!"</p><p>Thus, the two friends made most of the few hours they meet after long interval of silence between days and weeks by scheming plans of what to do in the future, where and how to start looking for Atsumu and Kita, how to ensure Aran remained safe, innocent, and unsuspected- all of this with rumination to what was going on in Astoria.</p><p>"<em>It's bad for my heart seeing you alone</em>," Aran once said a week after their reunion.</p><p>"<em>What do you  mean</em>?"</p><p>"<em>Cause every time one of you twins are alone, the other's hiding nearby, waiting to jump on me</em>."</p><p>"Ehhh," Osamu grinned, "<em>we don't do that a lot</em>."</p><p>"<em>You did it enough for me to have a fight or flight response</em>!"</p><p>"<em>Wow, Atsumu's such a little shit</em>."</p><p>An exasperated glance was given. "<em>Don't</em> <em>pretend you didn't enjoy playing those stupid pranks</em>."</p><p> "<em>Now, now, Tsumu and I don't play pranks; we just make people 's lives more fun</em>."</p><p>Such exchange was common during their meetings; talks of the past randomly appeared (instigated by a word or by a random thought) and scheming was paused as a trip down memory lane was fulfilled. Osamu had been ready to feel depressed as they talked of Atsumu. And although melancholy did came, it was not as strong or as demoralizing as he thought. In fact, there was a sense of relief with being able to talk about the person that meant the world to him: being able to talk about Atsumu; hear Atsumu's name out loud; know that his brother was remembered by someone else; know that there was someone else who cared. After months of keeping Atsumu a secret, it was the greatest freedom to just say his name out loud and not be worried of consequences.</p><p>It was a pity such feelings only excited in small duration surrounded by inanimate objects locked in a four walled space. </p><p>To ensure Mujinazaka continued on as their meeting point, it was inevitable to let Akaashi, Yukie, and Konoha into their confidence. With some embellishment and masterful skewing of the truth, Osamu and Aran led them to believe that <em>Sebastian</em> and Aran were childhood friends who met while Sebastian's family was living in Astoria for a time, and because of how busy Aran was, he could only visit Sebastian at Mujinazaka so would it be alright for Aran to visit from time to time? He promised to not be much nuisance to the other editors and that he would not take too much of Sebastian's work time.</p><p>Akaashi saw no problem since Sebastian's work was not as demanding to disengage him from returning a friend's visit; in addition, it would be against Akaashi's moral to not allow those under his employment some freedom of their time. However, Akaashi was not a fool to not think there was more to the meetings but he thought highly of Aran to not eavesdropped on their private conversation or forced them to confess the truth (besides even if he did, it was not like he would understand them as the conversation were spoken in <em>Lan</em> the entire time). Akaashi also had Konoha's reassurance of Aran's good nature and honor.</p><p>Konoha had met Aran years ago while he was a footman to a gentleman; he had been involved in a police investigation and Aran had helped him get acquitted. In return, Konoha had provided Aran with insight into the capital that most foreign court officials could only dreamed of. They fell into an easy confidence and the friendship continued with letters. Aran's words that Konoha "is a good fellow who's not going to nose his way into other people's business cause that too much trouble and he don't like giving himself too much work. He also not a tattletale so you don't have to worry of him talking about us," were just enough for Osamu to not regard the man with much wariness. In any case, Osamu's own view of the man had underwent a change for he was kinder and more open to conversation with Konoha since it was the man's invitation that brought Aran back into his life.</p><p>Yukie was a different matter for Osamu knew she had some ideas of why Aran kept visiting but ever since the first day, she had never confronted Osamu on his being "anything but usual." In fact, she seem to regard Osamu as a coworker and treated him as she treated others - friendly, teasing, and non-hostile. Time spend on the office floor had revealed he was correct in his first assumption of Yukie being someone who found life an entertainment. She never go out of her way to play pranks on others but she derived her own version of fun from any given situation based on her perception of humor, which sometimes align with Osamu's. This made him less guarded around her than he would had like. Yet, he could not dislike her even if he wanted to. Her teasing remarks generally made him smile, her cool attitude toward impertinence clients and writers were one of the highlight of Osamu's day, and her sharp remarks were more informative than invasive.  She was very loyal to Mujinazaka and would never laid out her coworkers' secrets or beliefs like dirty laundry.  She was also a great lover of food and who was Osamu to distrust such a person who shared his belief in the beauty and joy of eating?</p><p>Therefore, at the end of the day, no oppositions were given to Aran's visit and Osamu could go about his day with one less thing to worry about.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>- <em>three months and thirteen days before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>One drastic change that did occurred in that first week of March pertained to Osamu's relationship with Lord Tobio. The change occurred in the following manner:</p><p>The day after Aran's return, Lord Tobio visited Mujinazaka. Osamu was working the etching press and saw his entrance. A nod was exchanged between the two but Osamu did not think anything more would occurred when Lord Tobio appeared before him, asking how he was and how he was liking his job. The way Lord Tobio phrased his questions made it clear the man must had practiced them beforehand, probably in front of a mirror. This idea placed Osamu in good spirit to kindly returned Lord Tobio's inquiries. Osamu had thought that that was the end of the matter and was waiting for the young lord to leave him but, much to his surprise, Lord Tobio started another line of conversation about the weather.</p><p>"Looks like it's gonna snow. That's what I heard anyway," Osamu answered.</p><p>"Do you like snow?"</p><p>"Sometimes, ya?"</p><p>"I don't really care for them."</p><p>"Good to know."</p><p>An awkward silence followed with neither man knowing what else to say about snow without repeating what was already said. The memory of their last encounter came to Osamu's mind and hot shame filled his face. Judging by the stiff shoulders and eyes looking at everywhere but Osamu's face, Lord Tobio was obviously remembering the same thing. The awkwardness was so heavy that the temperature of the room seem to have increase.</p><p>"Can't wait for the sun," Osamu started, more out of the need to fill the silence than actual want of a conversation.</p><p>"Yes, no more coats," Lord Tobio quickly replied, looking a bit less irritated. "But it's very hot here in the summer."</p><p>"I heard. Rain a lot?"</p><p>"I guess, I never paid attention. Do you like rain?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>Silence again. Both men feeling even more idiotic by the seconds as they replayed the exchange in their head.</p><p><em>"No more coats," really? Dumbass</em>, Lord Tobio screamed at himself.</p><p><em>Snow and rain, why not talk about the <span class="u">wind</span> while you're at it</em>, Osamu mocked himself.</p><p>Finally, Lord Tobio bowed his goodbyes and speed-walked to Akaashi's office. It was not missed by Osamu that Yukie and Konoha was making a big show of not listening when they were obviously listening.</p><p>The next day, Lord Tobio visited him at the stables. While stiff at first, the young lord relaxed after feeding Mikasa and the two of them fell into an easy talk about horses and riding and how spring was the "perfect time to put yer learnin' to good use." The weather was not mentioned and if one of them were to mention snow or rain, the subject was quickly changed. By the end of the day, it was agreed upon that the riding lessons were to be continue and the two men returned to their perspective bed in cheerful thoughts. For Osamu's case, it was learning that Lord Tobio had in fact not been avoiding him the past week but rather he had been busy with his studies to find time to visit the stables or Mujinazaka.</p><p>He was glad.</p><p>Mindful of Lord Tobio's <em>possible</em> involvement in acquitting him of the statue destruction, even if he had no proof of the young lord's help, Osamu truly realized how rude and cold he had been toward Lord Tobio. The reason for this behavior took some reflection for Lord Tobio had never given Osamu a <em>legitimate reason</em> to dislike him. While the young man was proud and aristocratic, he never purposely pushed his wealth and status down other people's throat. If anything part of Lord Tobio's snobbery was due to his inability to "read the room," understand other's social cues, and tendency to take things too literally. He was not showy in surface-level aesthetics like Lady Tachibana; nor boastful of family jewels or ownership of designer clothing as his fellow classmates; and definitely not pompous with blind self-conceit like Satoshi.</p><p> So what was it of Lord Tobio that made Osamu put up his shield too quickly?</p><p> It was the fact that Lord Tobio, by the simple way he talk, act, and react to the world at large, was a reminder to Osamu of what he had and now lost - the fact that Osamu was now his social inferior when he should had been his superior was greatly felt. But why such views toward Lord Tobio and not Satoshi? Because Satoshi had given Osamu other reasons to dislike him; additionally, Osamu never left inferior in Satoshi's presence. How could he when the red lord was a dumb as a rock and dull as the winter sky and as intelligent as a frog?</p><p>But Lord Tobio did not have to do anything but entered the room and Osamu noticed him immediately. His eyes drawn to the young man's figure even when said young man was not making a sound upon entry, his ears immediately pick up the young lord's voice in the school ground, and his mind was quick to take note of any inconsistencies or changes in the young lord's manner. Such attention to be given to one person, subconsciously and unwillingly, was more than Osamu could bear and he took it out on Lord Tobio.</p><p><em>Immature brat</em>, Osamu berated himself.</p><p>The next time Lord Tobio visited, it was Osamu who started the conversation.</p><p>By the end of the week, the two men were on their way to being good companions, just short of being friends as their interaction were not as formal as the days before but not too informal that would breach improprieties. Yet, although they talked more, it was nothing personal or deep; Lord Tobio was rarely relaxed in his presence and Osamu was very over conscious of his own actions and words at times. It was as if each man was still holding something back, something that would made them venerable to the other and neither wanted to place such power in the other's hands. And so they had idle talk that allowed each to get a sense of the other's likes and dislikes- such as Lord Tobio loving pork curry topped with egg and Osamu having too many favorite foods; Lord Tobio studying law and Osamu studying to cook- but at the same time, each was left with vague guesses to the personal demons and dreams that made up the other's character.</p><p>The first crack to this surface-level amiability occurred when Osamu found Lord Tobio in the attic above Mujinazaka. The room was a large space that Akaashi had converted into a sort of training hall. The young lord was using it to practice his sword work. While it was a well-known fact that Lord Tobio was an excellent sword man, Osamu had been unwilling to take such assessment at face value since different people had different connotation on what constituted as "excellent" and he did not like to give such distinction freely when he had always viewed himself as "excellent swordsman" (Atsumu would argued that he was the better one, which always ended with the twins swinging sword at each other).</p><p>Lord Tobio was well-trained. Osamu could see it in his stance, the steady movement of his arms - the sword held not as an outside object but as an extension of his body- the unhesitant jabs, and confident footwork. The practice dummy was a poor opponent to such elegance. Osamu wondered how Lord Tobio would flare with an actual opponent. After all, perfect form did not immediately equate to absolute victory of a match. </p><p>Osamu hadn't had one in months; his last one was with Atsumu and he was glad to say, he won that match. The memory had his hand ached for the heaviness of the sword in his hand, the pounding rhythm of a fight, and the pain in his muscle from sudden jerks and jabs.</p><p>He called out, "isn't that too much pressure on yer left?"</p><p>Lord Tobio stumbled as he turned around. He blinked in a daze as if awaking from a dream before scowling. The predictable action had Osamu smiling internally.</p><p>"How long were you standing there?" Lord Tobio demanded.</p><p>"A while." The young man's scowl deepened. "It bother ya?"</p><p>"Only when you talk."</p><p>"Touché." Osamu held out his hand in a placating, apologetic manner. Unlike the past when such halted word hackled his ego, Osamu read it as the young lord feeling embarrassed at being watched. He made to leave but Lord Tobio's question stopped him.</p><p>"What do you mean by "too much pressure?'"</p><p>"Yer leg. With yer upper body turned like that, ya gonna unbalance yerself."</p><p>"I have done this before in many matches and that haven't happen."</p><p>"Was yer opponent a lightweight?"</p><p>"Yes, but he's fast."</p><p>"That's nice but not all yer opponents gonna be small and fast."</p><p>"How do you know I was talking about Hinata?" Tobio asked with a tilt of his head.</p><p>"Who?"</p><p>"Hinata." This was said so matter-of-fact as if the very name should be enough to conjure the person in Osamu's head. All that came to Osamu's mind was a faceless person about the size of a toddler.</p><p>"Don't know any Hinata. I'm just takin' a guess with ya being ya. How small is he?"</p><p>Lord Tobio held up his left hand to his shoulder.</p><p>"That's not small," Osamu said with a smile. The teasing tone went over the young lord's head.</p><p>"He was smaller."</p><p>"Good for him hittin' his growth spurt."</p><p>"Do you practice sword?"</p><p>"Ye -sometimes. Ya know, when I get the free time. Pick it up in my travels."</p><p>"Travels?"</p><p>"Was a fisherman before I got here."</p><p>"Oh, right... you're from Lyson, right?"</p><p>"Yup and 'round. Anyway, " Osamu quickly said, "yer better work on that foot and yer left side. Ya leavin' it unguarded too much."</p><p>Lord Tobio gave him a curious look. "You got that from watching me practice?"</p><p>"Ya use yer right too much, compare to yer left, yer right move very easily while yer left's a bit stiff as if yer very conscious of it."</p><p>"And you only practice sword <em>sometimes</em>?" There was a lot of emphasizes in the question and Osamu was reminded that for all of Lord Tobio's airhead-ness, he was still a lawyer in trainer. He would had at least noticed discrepancies in a conversation.</p><p>Osamu shrugged nonchalantly. "Not too crazy 'bout it."</p><p>Lord Tobio returned to his practice and Osamu leaned in a corner to observe. Initially, Osamu tried to kept his criticism to himself but his own ego of his own skill and his growing admiration of Lord Tobio's form had him showcasing his thoughts through a series of facial expressions that ranged from a raised eyebrow to a small nod to a smirk.</p><p>
  <em>Beautiful form ... Hmm, that's an interesting move... did he hurt his hand? Looks like it's moving slowly than before. Should I get some ice? Nope, false alarm ... He looks happy, never seen anyone so- ... why go that way when the other way is better - Oh, haven't seen that before. Can I do it? Yup, definitely. If he were to use that in a fight ... now if it were me ... he really is amazing. If we were to fight - nay, can't happen. Sides, not like he's going to ask although I wonder who would win...</em>
</p><p>Lacking the ability to read minds, the young lord had to made do with encrypting Sebastian's countenance, something he was aware of since he had been sneaking a glance at Sebastian from time to time. Each expression, however vague, sent a current of annoyance, indignant, and curiosity for he was sure the man was mocking him. The groom always seem to be mocking or teasing him <em>like two weeks ago in my room - nope! Don't go there. You aren't going to think of it!</em> <em>I'm sure it was nothing, he is never serious - well, he is serious, always serious and secretive. I wonder what he is hiding.</em> He turned his mind to what the man said a few minutes ago. <em>Acting like he know how to handle a sword ... with a body like that, I guess he could be a swordsman. But where would he learn? Can a fisherman really learn from traveling around? Miwa would hate to hear me say that - but really, where would he learn? Maybe he's all talk - not like I ever seen him handle a sword. He could be lying ... but maybe he's not? Urgh, I really don't get him!</em></p><p>"Alright, what am I doing wrong now?" Lord Tobio shouted after the fifth smirk (Yes, he was counting.) His pride as a swordsman could only withstand so much smirking without exploding. And Lord Tobio was more hot-headed than he presented himself to be. Not to mention how annoying it was to be so judged by a man who practice sword <em>sometimes</em>.</p><p>Osamu jumped. Confusion turned to amusement. "Nothing."</p><p>"Don't lie."</p><p>"Am not."</p><p>"Then why you keep smirking?"</p><p><em>Should he?</em> Osamu decided he should. "Only thinkin' how ya look with yer ass on the floor."</p><p>Lord Tobio stood straight and it was the closest he was to looking down his nose at Osamu - a miraculous occurrence since they were the same height. "Not as good as yours."</p><p>Osamu laughed without a thought; despite himself, Lord Tobio's frown broke to a stilled smirk, a bit proud of himself on his comeback.</p><p>"I like to see ya try."</p><p>With such a challenge on the floor, what else was the young lord to do but thrust his sword toward the other.</p><p>Osamu looked at the sword before looking at the Lord Tobio's face, waiting to see if he changed his mind or took the sword away. It did not occurred; the young lord's face was as determined as ever - just like the day he asked Osamu for riding lesson, just like the morning he asked about Osama's suspension, and probably tthe same face he held as he questioned Ikari.</p><p>There was no harm in indulging just this once - it was not the same as getting drunk. Nothing would come out of this.</p><p>Osamu took the handed sword and walked toward the center to the hall.</p><p>"Best two out of three or first hit the win?"</p><p>"Two out of three," Lord Tobio answered. He picked up another sword and was swinging it around to get a feel for it. Osamu did the same with his sword. It was not too heavy to lag him nor too light to be of little defense against Lord Tobio'. It did felt a bit alien in his hand probably because he haven't held one in a while but the familiar weight was enough to outstrip the alien-ness.</p><p>He flipped his sword from his right to left than right again before taking a starting stance. All the while, aware of the eyes following his every move.</p><p><em>Should I start out strong</em>? Osamu wondered. <em>He's good but I shouldn't give myself away too much</em>. The minute the match began, Osamu felt like an idiot for contemplating the latter.</p><p>Lord Tobio immediately strike with such speed and ferocity that it was only thanks to Osamu's past learning that he blocked it in time. But before he could do more than gasp, the young lord was attacking him again. He clearly did not care if Osamu was an amateur or not, he was not going to go easy.</p><p><em>You got to be kidding</em>, Osamu screamed inside his head, <em>right off the bat</em>. He could not change the flow of the match for Lord Tobio was relentless. It was all Osamu could do to deflect and dodge his blows. There was no doubt Lord Tobio was the superior between the two, he had the same hunger, the same intensity that always overcame Atsumu in the heat of a match.</p><p>But that did not mean Osamu was going to let him walk away from this match as the victor. Especially when the two of them were locked in place and Lord Tobio had raised an eyebrow as if to say, "this is it?"</p><p><em>Smug bastard</em>. Using their locked position, Osamu loosen his hold to use Lord Tobio's weight against him. It succeed enough to unbalance the young lord but not enough to have him falling face forward. But Osamu overestimated his advantage edge for he just as he was about to make his mark, he felt the prick of the sword on his left arm.</p><p>The first round went to Lord Tobio.</p><p>Not to be taken by surprise the second time, Osamu immediately placed distance between him and the young lord at the start of the second. Lord Tobio raised an eyebrow and it was his turn to deflect Osamu's blow. But Osamu was not only handling out one blow after another, he was more cautious - his mind thinking, remembering, predicting, and planning. Lord Tobio slashing at the practice dummy - the way he placed more pressure on his right; the way he turned his shoulder just slightly when he was going to jab; the way he angled his elbow when he was going to slash; the way he was more prone to move to his left than his right. So many information that was freely given and it was all for Osamu to use and manipulate.</p><p>The adrenaline thumped in his ear as heat hang off his skin; his arms and thighs ached with the sudden usage; the attic rang with the clanging of metal against metal - he missed this. For a moment, Osamu was no longer in the attic but in a wider open space and he was younger, having just held the sword for the first time and could only looked on with awe, curiosity, and a hunger only children could fell at the discovery of something new, something exciting, something wonderful. He understood why his brother was addicted to such a feeling - in fact, Osamu was once addicted to it before other interests complied him to let go of the sword. He had learned to love other activities but at the end of the day, no matter what he did or what he liked, he could swear with great confidence that his first love had always been the sword.</p><p>And it was not just him. The same addiction, the same hunger, was written all over Lord Tobio's face; his mouth had twisted into a determined smile - one that promise carnage and a good fight. Osamu was glad, exhilarated, ascended - why did he ever let go of the sword in the first place?</p><p>The second round went to Osamu but not because he took advantage of Lord Tobio's weakness. He instead used his knowledge of Astorian swordplay and going by a guess that Lord Tobio was only taught Celestian, he succeeded in tricking Lord Tobio to let go of his sword.</p><p>The sword clanged onto the ground just as Osamu tapped Lord Tobio's shoulder with a satisfied "aha!"</p><p>The clanging of metal was now replaced by their heavy breathing as Osamu watched the young lord as the young lord looked at his fallen sword, then his hand, than his sword before looking up. Osamu felt the wind knocked out of him. The hunger was still there but now Osamu could see other feature that he had not perceived before. The young lord's eyes held wonder and agitation - the former at his empty hand, the latter at his lost. His mouth was parted to a small 'O' and his lips were glossed as he licked them. Osamu found his tongue very dry and had to suppress the urge to do the same to his own lips. Lord Tobio's chest moved in a hurried fashion and his face was flushed, his hair hang over his eyes - it was all a very alluring effect. Alluring and frightening.</p><p>"What was that?" he asked - breathed, gasped.</p><p>"An Astorian sword technique," Osamu answered. Realizing how breathless he sounded, he cleared his throat. "Good for separating the sword from its owner." He walked forward, hooked his foot under the young lord's sword, and flipped it into his hand as easily as opening the door. He spun it around so that the handle was facing Lord Tobio, who watched him with hungry eyes.</p><p>"I thought you said you only practice sometimes."</p><p>"And that 'I'm not crazy 'bout it like some people.'"</p><p>"Show me again." Lord Tobio took back his offered sword and walked back into position.  A match lost was nothing to something learned.</p><p>"Like I said, not as crazy," Osamu chuckled but he still took his place.</p><p>However, the third round did not occurred due to Akaashi clearing his throat. His presence was so invasive that it broke the barrier that had divided Osamu and Lord Tobio from the rest of the world. His next words was like a rock to the glass; it shattered so clumsily, so nosily that Osamu was momentarily at lost over where he was, what time it was, and why Akaashi was there.</p><p>Lord Tobio looked to be in a similar state that Akaashi had to repeat his words again.</p><p>"I'm sorry to interrupt but Kageyama, it's lunch time," the editor said. He gave Osamu a reproachful glance. The groom bit his lips and gave an apologetic shrug. He had just remembered why he was in the attic in the first place: to call Lord Tobio down for lunch.</p><p><em>Oops</em>.</p><p>***** ***** *****</p><p>Half of the <em>onigiri</em> were gone by the time Osamu and Lord Tobio sat down. Yukie was merrily going through her fourth, looked on by an amused Sarukui and Komi, the printer and editor respectfully. They were all on the office floor, a casual lunch party. Lord Tobio moved toward Akaashi, who took up the table nearest to his office. Yukie was by his side. Sarukui, Komi, and Onaga, another printer, commandeered a larger table, which was cleared to make way for the plates and cups. Konoha and Washio, another editor, was by the windows. Udai was talking to Alisa, both of whom waved at Osamu. He waved back before sitting next to Akane. She was one of the intern from a nearby girl college, working under Fumi Enaga, <em>The Window</em>'s top journalist.</p><p>Osamu watched in apprehension as the people took a bite of his <em>onigiri</em> and was gratified by their look of astonishment and delight.</p><p>"These are delicious," Udai commented. "I heard that it's you I should be thanking for this meal."</p><p>"You bought these?" Lord Tobio asked. His eyes were wide with a child-like delight as he chewed on the food. The praise was obvious; it filled Osamu's chest with warmth.  Must be the aftereffect from the match. Osamu grabbed the neckband of his shirt and fanned himself.</p><p>"I made them," Osamu said, sitting straight in pride. Lord Tobio stared at him. "No need to look surprise, I'm not <em>that</em> bad in the kitchen. These are leftover from last night and thought I treat yall."</p><p>"Riiigghtt and it so happen there are enough for fourteen people," Konoha said suggestively.</p><p>"If ya don't want them, I won't make more," Osamu coolly replied.</p><p>"No," Yukie exclaimed. "You will do no such thing! These are very good. Much better than the one next door, don't you agreed, Konoha?" She threw a crumpled napkin at him. He dodged.</p><p>"I never said they were bad."</p><p>"Awww, thanks," Osamu said. He was partly joking for he was far too happy to be too bothered. Ōmimi and his grandmother had been teaching him how to cook. The onigiri was the first thing they taught as it wasn't a difficult food to make nor were the ingredients hard to find. Like Gin, Ōmimi was a patient teacher; unlike Suna, he was serious and straight-forward. Osamu could easily see Ōmimi getting along well with Kita and Aran.</p><p>Ōmimi 's grandmother had claimed that there was nothing more fulfilling then seeing people become happy after eating the food you cook. Osamu understood what she meant last night when he cooked for her, Gin, Suna, Akagi, Ōmimi and Riseki, Akagi's cousin; and he realized it again as he watched the Mujinazaka staff enjoyed his food - the food he made. He still had a long way to go in term of his cooking but compare to three months ago, he had really come so far. </p><p>"Don't be too happy," Komi warned playfully, "Yukie's only buttering you up because she wants you to make more."</p><p>"Would you?" Yukie asked.</p><p>"Well ..."</p><p>"I can paid for the ingredients and if you need more space, you can use the kitchen. You don't mind, right, Akaashi? You like the onigiri too."</p><p>"I do like onigiri and I don't mind if you use the kitchen," the editor said, "that is if <em>you</em> don't mind doing all this."</p><p>Osamu did not mind much with the promise of money in the equation. Besides, he didn't really dislike making the food. Another discovery he had made was how much he actually like cooking.</p><p>"How many yall want?"</p><p>Twos and threes were give until Yukie was reached.</p><p>"Ten," she said. Everyone looked at her; she did not looked embarrassed nor guilty. "I said what I said."</p><p>"Can I have ten too?" Lord Tobio quickly asked.</p><p>"Me too?" Akaashi added.</p><p>If Osamu had any doubt of his onigiri being liked, these responses were answers enough.</p><p>The party than broke into small groups as people started discussions with their neighbors. Osamu fell in with Akane and Udai. </p><p>"Stressful," Akane said. "I'm just done with midterms and <em>Goddess</em>, if I have to write another essay again, I'm going to scream!"</p><p>"And yet, ya here."</p><p>"Well, I like writing here - at least it's something I'm interested in. Do you ever find that if you are interested in something, the more you learn? Cause I just realized that! Too bad most of my classes this term are for graduation credit than my major."</p><p>"What didja write the essay on?"</p><p>"Essays; there one for Economics and Societies; 17th century Celestian Literature - that one was fine, though I lost interest near the end. Writer's block's a pain. One moment I am writing paragraphs easily and next I'm just staring at a blank page. Oh, I also have that Calculus exam - pretty sure I failed that one. Oh well, and another... what was the other one..."</p><p>"Didja eat or sleep at all?" An image of a high stack of books came to Osamu's mind and he shuddered.</p><p>Akane gave a sheepish smile, "well, probably didn't help that I procrastinated a bit."           </p><p>Udai laughed. He was looking much better than the day Osamu first met him but there was still shadows under his eyes. Procrastination was obviously a frequent visitor of his. The writer and Akane started talking about writer 's block, the nature of writing, and the difference of journalism and fiction writing. Osamu listened for a while before boredom had him turning to another group, which included Enaga, Alisa, Akaashi, and Lord Tobio. Alisa was on the subject about her brother, who was a footman to Lord Tobio's grandfather; she was communicating the content of the letter he had recently written to her.</p><p>"Levochka said that he and Yaku had found a cat in the backyard and tried to sneak it in without Suga noticing but turns out Suga did know about it and was pretending not to so that he can watch Yaku, Yamamoto, and Levochka try to hide it whenever he enter the room. That is so like Suga! Fukunaga's cooking are as amazing as ever but it's so bad that Levochka keep mistaking the ingredients. My mother tried to cook one of the them but would you believe he mixed up the spices and we have to take a guess on what Fukunaga must have used. And Bokuto " - Alisa stopped, blushed, and glanced tentatively at Akaashi. But the editor had suddenly looked at Konoha, who at that moment had called his name - "well, he is alright. Not that Levochka said much about him but I'm sure he would if I ask -" another hesitation - "Anyway, the weather is just as harsh there so they are all locked indoor for most days. They just got snow so I guess we might get some too. The same for those in Karasuno. Oh, by the way, do you know Lord Shouyou recently hired two new servants?"</p><p>"In the middle of winter?" Enaga blurted, then she had a thought. "Well, I suppose I won't put it past Lord Shouyou doing something like this."</p><p>"Hinata wrote about them to you as well, correct?" Akaashi asked Lord Tobio. He nodded and answered, "one of them is a gardener and the other one, I think, is a kitchen boy or something like that."</p><p>Alisa nodded. "That's right. Their names are Feste (Osamu raised an eyebrow and had a comical thought of a man dressed in a jester costume) and ... oh, what's the other one's name- it start with a 'C." Chec-no, Char, Car-" she sighed, "it's a foreign name too." She looked at Lord Tobio for support but the young man shrugged.</p><p>"Hinata didn't mention their names."</p><p>Akaashi smiled, "Hinata's letters tend to fly off to whatever idea struck his mind at the moment. I suppose we will have to wait and see if another letter bring forth the name or you'll have to learn it yourself when you go to Orion."</p><p>But to not mention the new servants' names, it either told of a flighty young man or one who think too highly of himself to mix with his servants. But the more Osamu listened about Lord Shouyou Hinata, the more he suspected it was the former rather than a latter. Akaashi, Enaga, and Alisa had something positive to say about the man - he was friendly, he was kind, he was a menace (but in a good way), he was too energetic, he was the life of a party. But all these reports were reiteration of accounts they heard from their own families and friends who knew the lord. None of them or the rest of Mujinazaka, saved for one, had met Lord Shouyou for the lord never left his family home, Karasuno House, in Orion.</p><p>Osamu could not help but asked why.</p><p>"His mother is not well," Akaashi said. Enaga added, "and there are some talk that she won't survive long so Lord Shouyou is spending more time at Karasuno to prepare himself for when he have to take over the family dealings."</p><p>"You know, I'm shock about that," Alisa interrupted, "I always thought Mistress Hinata was a woman of sturdy constitution - I mean, didn't she climb Mt. Aki in her youth?"</p><p>"That's in her youth but she is older now and sickness does tend to crept up on people," Enaga said.</p><p>"Oh, well, I always thought it got something to do with happen to Lord Hinata -"</p><p>"You think so? But it was two years ago."</p><p>"But don't Lord Shouyou travel 'round when he was a kid?" Osamu interrupted. Thinking of his own youth, it was unimaginable to Osamu that a child could not go beyond the boundaries of his county - especially a child of such wealth and no hostile step-mother hanging over his shoulder.</p><p>"Lord Hinata didn't like that," Lord Tobio answered. There was a tone of finality in his voice which ended the discussion but left much for Osamu to think of. The young lord was the only person who had anything critical to say about Lord Shouyou. It was interesting for it wasn't the blatant, nonchalant way Lord Tobio was used to talking about his fellow classmates but he talked in a way that hinted of <em>something</em> buried very deep that one needed a shovel and a manual on <em>How to read Lord Tobio's Way of Talking</em> to understand. Osamu pondered a bit on the relationship between the two lords.</p><p>Akaashi and Lord Tobio started talking about the young lord's studies and how the semester was going ( Lord Tobio too had finished with his midterms) while Enaga asked Alisa about the other servants of Kageyama Manor before the turning the subject toward a lord Korai of Kamomedai.</p><p>Feeling that he had interacted enough for the day, Osamu sat down and decided to observant his co-workers. But tried as he might, his eyes and ears kept returning to Lord Tobio and Akaashi. After an internal battle, Osamu admitted defeat and gave all his attention to the young lord. The inconsistencies jumped out at him almost immediately.</p><p>Lord Tobio, while still scowling and quiet, was not as distant or withdrawn around the Mujinazaka staff as he was in Shiratorizawa. Osamu had never seen Lord Tobio with friends in the university. In fact, he was under the assumption that Lord Tobio had no friend going by his title as "The King of the Court" and his own observation on how Satoshi, Lady Tachibana, and their cronies treated the young lord, which was supported by Suna's description of young lord being feared and disliked by the student populace.</p><p>However, in Mujinazaka, such fear and dislike were missing, the staff treated the young lord as one of their own. They were not threatened by him nor turned off by his social awkwardness, if anything, they seemed to be endeared to him. This would explained why Lord Tobio had his shield down; he was not around stranger but people he trusted and liked. And besides, it turned out Lord Tobio did have friends, they just happened to either had graduated or currently living in Orion.</p><p><em>Ah</em>, Osamu thought, <em>he is alone in Shiratorizawa. No wonder Mujinazaka is a second home</em>. <em>But does this mean he's not close to his parents?</em> Osamu was sure the Kageyamas had a house in the city, unless he was mistaken and the young lord's parents were also living with the grandfather. He would had to ask Suna.</p><p>Another thing Osamu noticed, one he was unwilling to accept, was that he might had been wrong in his estimation of Lord Tobio's feeling regarding Akaashi. The young lord was talking animatedly about a court case that was in the recent news (something about a husband killing his wife and how it was his <em>third</em> wife and that he might had killed before). A lot of legal jargon went in one ear and out another for Osamu but Akaashi was nodding along and gave his own opinion to the case.</p><p>There was passion, there was zest but it was all relating to the topic rather than toward the person the topic was being thrown at. There was closeness but it was not that of longing. Flirtation or attraction was missing in Lord Tobio's words but admiration and respect were abundant. After some minutes, Osamu was forced to conclude that Lord Tobio only viewed Akaashi as a mentor and a good friend.</p><p>Then, why was the young lord so agitated over Osamu's flirtation toward Akaashi that morning? Osamu was sure he was not wrong on that count. Lord Tobio had been moody, annoyed, and aggressive but why? If not out of a crush then what else?</p><p>Osamu bit his lips. Could it be - no, but what if... what if the one who Lord Tobio jealous of was not Osamu but actually Akaashi, the one who was being lavished attention and interest by Osamu. But that was dumb, ridiculous, egotistic, self-serving - Lord Tobio had a crush on him? No, no, there was no evidence that point to that fact. It was just a stupid conjecture Osamu was cocooning out of the need to understand the young lord's action. But, said a small voice, it could explain why Lord Tobio helped him with the statue business and why he brought him to Mujinazaka after finding him drunk. But, said a louder voice, for the former, you have no proof that Lord Tobio ask Akaashi to help, that was also conjecture. And for the latter, it was Lord Tobio being a good person. Besides what other situations Osamu had to support his ridiculous theory other than these main three events? The riding lessons were started long before the drunken night, the awkward conversations - that gave Osamu a pause but he decided the conversations were just Lord Tobio trying to be friendly. All in all, Lord Tobio had never acted like a man with a crush. How would you know, said the stupid voice, you never knew to look out for it -</p><p>"Handsome fellow, right?" Yukie propped down onto the seat next to Osamu, who jumped out of his skin.</p><p>"Son of a- whatch doin', givin' a bloke a heart attack," Osamu exclaimed.</p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were paying attention. You are good at that."</p><p>Osamu did not reply.</p><p>"So what do you say?" Yukie continued, undeterred by the non-social atmosphere the groom was displaying. "Lord Tobio, isn't he a good-looking fellow?"</p><p>"Funny, didn't know ya interested."</p><p>"Oh, I'm not. But I do have eyes."</p><p>"And a mouth and a nose."</p><p>Yukie laughed and patted his shoulders. "No need for that. I'm just asking cause you are going to make a hole by how much you're staring at him."</p><p>"'M not -" Yukie gave him a look and Osamu sighed- "I wasn't lookin' <em>at</em> him, I'm lost in thought and was <em>starin'</em> at his direction."</p><p>"Oh, that clear things up."</p><p>"If ya not gonna be serious, I'm leavin'." Osamu liked Yukie, he really did but moments like this, when it felt like she knew more than she let on, crawled on his skin and made him want to jump into the nearest rabbit hole to disappear. He just wished he knew what she was getting at. Actually, that was a lie, he knew what she was getting at but he would not admit it for there was nothing to admit.</p><p>"Come on, I'm only joking. Look, look, I'll stop if you are really uncomfortable." She shrugged and to make good of her promise, changed the topic to onigiri. Still suspicious and unwilling to let his guard down, Osamu answered in the most driest and monosyllabic way as possible. </p><p>When Yukie finally decided to leave, she said, "just to let you know, Lord Tobio is very serious and true when he make decision. I hoped you won't take what he do lightly." Then, she skipped away.</p><p>The true intent of Yukie's words came to Osamu while he was half-way toward sleep that night.  She was not teasing him out of a need of entertainment but was actually warning him against mistreating Lord Tobio. He chuckled as he turned around. His eyes dropping as the sliver of moon light that fell through his window dulled to black.</p><p>How lucky of Lord Tobio to have such protective friends. Osamu only felt happy for him.</p><p>
  <strong>***** ***** *****</strong>
</p><p>- <em>three months and ten days before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p> The next few days, Osamu paid extra attention to Lord Tobio's manner and words when he visited the stable. By the third time, he concluded that Lord Tobio was acting no different toward him than toward anyone else. Although the fencing match had made Lord Tobio more open about his interest in fencing, there was not much changed in his actions. There was no teasing looks, no longing stares, no shy glances, no blushing cheeks - none of the symptoms of infatuation. But Osamu had to admit the young lord stared at him a lot but since Lord Tobio did this often from the very beginning, it was not that important. Osamu would had been more alarm if Lord Tobio did not stare at him at all.</p><p>And so Osamu went about his work in his usual manner - wishing the morning to be over quickly so he could eat lunch and the wishing the day to be over quickly so he could eat dinner. He and Gin were repairing a broken heater. It was knock over by a student who had jumped in fear when one horses gave off a sudden neigh. The heater needed to be quickly fix as they were short of them for the moment and this particularly one was for the grooms' usage. No one wanted to work in the cold.</p><p>Since Osamu fixing things tend to result in the object being more broken than before, Gin did most of the heavy lifting with Osamu either holding the object up or holding the torch to give Gin light. It was very boring so Osamu had let his mind wondered to dinner. This was why he did not noticed Gin's instruction and realized too late when the heater was turned on and his shirt caught fire.</p><p>Gin shouted in alarm and Osamu swore to high heaven. The heater was dropped, Gin repeatedly hit him with a heavy cloth, the fire was put out, and Osamu quickly took off his shirt.</p><p>Goose bumps erupted in his arms and back as they were exposed to the coolness of the stable. He held up the shirt to inspect the damage and was dismayed to find a sizable hole on the front in addition to soot.</p><p>"Good thing Suna got an extra shirt," Gin consoled, "though it might be a bit big on ya since he's taller." There were extra shirts in the Center as well but neither Osamu nor Gin deluded themselves to think the other grooms would be fine with Osamu borrowing one.</p><p>"Only by a few inches," Osamu muttered. "Well, it don't matter cause I can't walk 'round naked."</p><p>"Don't think many students would complain," Gin said in good spirits which Osamu failed to share.</p><p>Celestian were so peculiar about skin showing in the sense that showing even a hint of it - be it the neck or the ankle - was the most scandalous thing a person could do. Much more scandalous than having a romp in the school stables apparently. Osamu wondered how Celestian felt when they visit Astoria where it was the norm to wear sleeveless tunic or wear only pants and nothing else. He supposed there were some blushes, some fainting spell, some awkward eye contact, and prolonged staring. Nonetheless, Osamu was sure walking around half-naked was enough ground for the manager to try fire him ... again.</p><p>As Gin made his way toward Bennett Hall, Osamu went to the bathroom to try rinsing the damaged shirt; the fabric could still be useful as a table cloth or an extra patch for the hole in his other shirt.</p><p>The bathroom was a long room with a green tiled floor, many of which was chipped or darken from prolong exposure to water. Four sinks hang on the wall opposite from the entrance; above them was a horizontal mirror that was dirtier than the stable floor. The only thing that saved this room from resembling a cave was the many windows that allowed sunlight in with extra help from the semi-reflective surface of the tiles and crack mirror.</p><p>Osamu felt no hurry in his washing as it was the late afternoon and most of the grooms were out overseeing the horses. Faint sound of human chatter and horses neighs penetrated the wall but the roar of the water from the pipe to the cement sink quickly drown them out. The hollowness of the room only amplified the sound so that Osamu had the sensation of being underwater. Fortunately, the feeling quickly passed as he splashed his face with water. The cold was a relief after the stuffy heat of the fire and the dirt-filled day. He washed his hair, scrubbed his face, rubbed his shoulder, and rinsed his arms. The action reminded him of when he was younger and would scrubbed his face with cool water from the well after playing all day outside. It was amusing that he would find something to miss about Astoria despite believing, when he had lived there, that he would had been happier anywhere else. But alas, his mind was determined to remind him of all the things good of Astoria in addition to the bad.  </p><p>With all this going through his head, it was no surprising that he did not noticed someone stepping into the room. The water dulled the sound of footsteps and the stranger's sudden intake of breath.</p><p>However, Osamu's ignorance did not last long.</p><p>After he finished cleaning his hair, Osamu slicked his hair back just as he opened his eyes. At first, all he could made out from the dirty surface of the mirror was a dark shadow; then his eyes blink out the last of the water and grew accustomed to the lighting; the image sharpen and the person's feature became clear to him.</p><p>His heart stopped then jumped to his throat.</p><p>Lord Tobio was looking at him- <em>him</em>, who was half-dressed and wet. This state of nakedness, in addition to the feeling of overwhelming surprise, had caused Osamu's limbs and joints to freeze. His mind was a hollow cavern that only took in what the eye see but made no conjectures that the mind would automatically made, such as turning around or covering one self or greeting the other. Nothing of such actions came to mind; not even an exclamation of "what are you doing here?" He was only aware of what he felt. He <em>felt</em> a droplet of water sliding down his cheeks and down his neck, he <em>felt</em> the sudden shift in the temperature from chilly to warm, and he <em>felt</em> the young lord's eyes tracing his back, down his spine, over his ribs - like a finger lightly moving across his skins- but still, he could not turn or look away from the mirror. Forget butterflies, bees were buzzing around his chest and ears.</p><p>Subsequently, their eyes met. Reflected blue on brown and vice versa.</p><p>Lord Tobio jolted back like he was struck by lighting and he was walking away. Osamu watched his back faded away, the young lord's dark jacket flipping behind him as the sound of a door slam vibrated across the wooden structure and mimicked Osamu's heartbeat. Osamu's mind was no longer a cavern but a tempest. No, a tempest was too cool of a word to describe the sudden blaze crawling beneath his skin, throughout his body.   </p><p>He realized that he was breathing heavily; he leaned onto the sink in case his knees gave away.</p><p>The blue eyes that Osamu once described as dull, in that one moment when their eyes met, burned like embers nestled in a raging forest fire. What had Osamu's eyes looked like to the young lord? Did he noticed the same <em>heat</em> burning in them? But then the man can be dense when it come to these things so Osamu had to accept the possibility that any amount of understanding from Lord Tobio would had to be plainly asked. But there was no denying the heat, the hunger in Tobio's eyes - it was the same one from the fencing match, only this time there was something more.</p><p>Osamu had been wrong. Very, very wrong.</p><p>Those blue eyes, which were anything but dull, in that one moment revealed the truth behind the young lord's actions that had tormented him.</p><p>Lord Tobio wanted him.</p><p>And, with alarming clarity, Osamu realized he wanted him too.</p><p>
  <strong>***** ***** *****</strong>
</p><p>- <em>three months and nine days before the Summer Festival</em>-</p><p>It was past midnight and Osamu could not sleep - the sleeplessness was not due to nightmares of being chased by foxes or drowning at sea. No, this sleeplessness was a leftover from the late afternoon, of the incident with Lord Tobio and everything before. It was from revelations and questions the incident had arisen and plagued Osamu's mind.</p><p>Atsumu had once exclaimed, with some confusion and amusement, how Osamu easily fell in love with every person he met. Osamu resented this for one thing, he did not fall in love easily, and for another it was not "every person he met." But he concurred that compare to his twin, he was more prone to become infatuated with people he found pleasing to his eyes or interesting in their eccentrics. The fact that he was the more sough- after twin meant he was well aware of his own attractive qualities. One of his admirers had once admitted that he was drawn to Osamu's quiet, unassuming personality that spoke of a submissive nature. Suffice to say, that admirer was easily rejected and forgotten.</p><p>But the point was Osamu found many men handsome and stunning and mesmerizing but never did his affection ran deeper than the superficial level of physical attractiveness for he either lost interest or found the act of courting too tiresome to be bother with. And since, this happened so often, he was aware of the pattern his interest began, fluctuated, and vanished. It was always the case that the attraction began from the moment he laid eyes on the men. Akaashi was once such example. Although the editor's personality was compelling as his appearance was stunning, Osamu's interest in the man had waned just a week after he started working at Mujinazaka and he now felt all the affability of a co-worker rather than a potential lover toward the editor. It was nothing Akaashi did that cause such a decline but it was the simple fact that Osamu did not had the mental or emotional stamina to go through the trails love making tend to bring - the constant insecurities of one's own worth while veering for the other's affection, the irrational burst of jealousy at any other people who interacted with his object of interest, the dissection of every interactions under the rose-tainted window of love, the contemplation of one's attitude that said loved one dislike or was irritated by, the effort of reflecting, committing, and remembering important dates and habits. Just thinking about it was so tiring that the act was unimaginable. Osamu preferred to be the sensible one surrounded by the follies of others in their falling in  love than be the one in love (he had been so looking forward to laughing at Atsumu for knowing him, his love life would not be an easy, rational, drama-free journey).</p><p>But that was what make the event of the afternoon so confounding. Lord Tobio was an anomaly because Osamu had knew him for months, during which he had not felt an ounce of desire toward the young lord. Had he noticed the young lord was handsome? Of course he did but he thought the young lord's personality left much to desire and was boring. However, as recent days had shown, Lord Tobio was anything but boring as there was a possibility of a more complex persona underneath.</p><p>The fencing match - that must had been start of all this folly. Before then, Osamu had only seen Lord Tobio as an arrogant, antisocial, proud, moody king. But the match revealed a secret passion within and the lunch party afterward showed a kinder version of the man. Seeing and taking notes of the contradictions in the way Lord Tobio acted in public and in Mujinazaka had opened in Osamu a burning curiosity in finding out what make Lord Tobio tick.</p><p>Osamu frowned. No, that did not sit well with him. It had to be before then. Maybe it started with the discovery of the young lord's role in his acquittal of the statue destruction or his help during that drunken night. Certainly those two events were more revealing of the man's character than the three hours they spend in Mujinazaka. Lord Tobio had saved his life - fugitively and literally<em>. </em>Wasn't there a story of this kind? Of a poor maiden or sire saved from destitution or death by the heroism, the self-sacrifice, the daring of a young knight. Osamu supposed Lord Tobio taking him in that drunken night was the modern equivalent. Osamu owned him a debt. A debt Lord Tobio did not acknowledge because he was just that good of a person. There was something very charming about that. All of these elements together made up the bridge toward this sudden attraction. Yes, that made more sense.</p><p>
  <em>Well, so what? So what if I want him? It was not like I never want anyone before. This will go away anyway. It always do.</em>
</p><p>That was the natural progression of things. Attraction felt, some admiration, then the lost of interest. It was the same cycle, Lord Tobio was no different. Osamu was quite confident that the more time he spend with the young lord, the less mysterious Lord Tobio would became and the less Osamu wanted him. This want was nothing but a want for some adventure to the mundane hull his life had fallen into.</p><p><em>That's right, this meant nothing</em>.</p><p>But what kept Osamu awake late into the night, what put a stop to his confident musing was this: <em>Lord Tobio wanted him</em>. He saw it in his eyes, saw it in his body posture - not just this afternoon, but in the days before. The time Lord Tobio thought Osamu did not notice him staring, the way he say "Sebastian" as if uncertain on how much emphasizes to place in each syllable in case his want became apparent thus exposing him. Osamu had heard it but had pretended not to notice because if he did, he would had to acknowledge it.  </p><p>Well, now he had; so what should he do?</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>He would do nothing, much like how he did nothing with Lady Tachibana. So what if Lord Tobio wanted him? It was not like the young lord had been open about his feelings. This indicated he did not want Osamu to know - which was all the better. It was not like this attraction would evolve to anything else.</p><p>The bells sounded, singling the first hour of the new day and reminding Osamu he needed to sleep for he had work later that required all his energy and he couldn't do that half-asleep. He punched his pillow so that it was a good lump for his head and twisted into his blanket, seeking warmth as his decision was made. Nothing was to be done - he would give no acknowledgment nor hints of what had transpired.</p><p>Nothing between him and Lord Tobio had to change. </p>
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